Ethan and Julian

March 2004. Prince of Wales Hospital. Sydney. Australia.

Vic had spent the day after the ball in her room mostly staring into space, asking herself how she would get out, how she would leave him. She had woken up at noon, still exhausted from the previous night confrontation with her husband, and Marina had confirmed, Ethan was home after spending the morning out.

She had spoken to Lily that previous evening, feeling utterly broken, admitting to her friend she had been caught, and had cried herself to sleep after the phone call. She was mentally and physically drained. Kevin had rung and after she told him of the night's events, he said he would be arriving in the next few days. He swore he would drag her out of the house if necessary, but she was leaving Ethan, one way or the other. That thought while comforting was also scaring her out of her mind.

She had gone to bed that night wondering what else could go wrong.

She woke up at 2:03 a.m., a sharp pain in her abdomen making her wince.

She touched and caressed her ribcage saying softly, "Please, stop hurting. Everything will be fine,"

She turned on the light, noticed the late hour, and examined her nightgown as she felt it damp. She got up, feeling dizzy and looked at the bed sheet realizing the dampness she felt was actually blood, and her flat sheet spotted a large stain.

Panic rising as she could feel her body temperature getting higher as seconds went by, she started to slowly walk out of her room, her legs barely supporting her.

She opened the marital bedroom and whispered, "E..." with a trembling voice, holding herself against the frame. "E...please, I..."

She didn't finish the sentence, and felt herself fall into a dark oblivion.

((~~!~~))

"Ethan?" he heard through the maze of his churning thoughts.

He looked up and stared at the man in front of him, unable to say a word.

"Man, you look awful...What are you doing here?" asked the worried voice.

"My wife is here, Julian... She... she..." came the ragged reply.

Julian sat down at the cafeteria table and observed the man, his old best friend and nemesis, Ethan McGregor.

He had noticed him upon entering the cafeteria, to get coffee at the unholy hour of 3.37 a.m. First, he noticed the bodyguard standing a few steps away from the man, and upon closer examination of the blonde man, he realized who he was. The man was pale and had a hollow look that told Julian, he was lost in his own thoughts and whatever they were, he was scared. He was absently touching his wedding band and hadn't noticed someone was intensely staring at him.

Julian decided to approach him, for old times' sake, but also out of sheer curiosity, as he'd never seen Ethan appear so distraught. This was definitely a new experience. If there was one thing certain in this world: Ethan McGregor never showed fear. Cockiness, yes, discomfort maybe, fear, never.

They were very similar, or at least that how Julian remembered it.

Yet, here he was, pale as a sheet, barely able to form a sentence, a terrified look on his face.

"What about your wife?" Julian gently enquired, trying to hold still the man's gaze.

"She's in the ER..." said the distressed voice, "I found her unconscious...She's pregnant.... I...I..." he could barely finish, "They asked me to leave, so they could work on her...I...She..." he stammered.

Ethan could barely breathe, let alone formulate what he wanted to say, which was, "She's here because of me, and I don't know if she will live or die.".

He had found her probably a few minutes after she had passed out. He had been in bed, asleep, and sort of heard her whimper his name, but thought he was dreaming, so he turned in the bed, blocking out the noise. Until a few minutes later, his half-awake brain registered the room was not in total darkness anymore; it couldn't have been a dream because he could see some light from the corridor, which meant the bedroom door was open, which could only mean she had opened it and called him out....

He had flicked on the lamp on the nightstand only to be greeted by the sight of her lump form on the carpeted floor.

He had thrown the quilt out, rushed towards her while calling her name. When he realized she was not coming to, that her body was cold, drenched in sweat and that her nightgown was smeared with blood, he had lifted her, carrying her while rushing down the stairs, screaming for his night guard to get the car. He needed to get his wife to the hospital and there was no time to wait for an ambulance.

Upon arriving at the Prince of Wales, which was only 12 minutes away, Vic had been put on her gurney, an oxygen mask placed on her face and she had been taken behind ER doors. Ethan had been questioned about her condition and then told to go and wait until they had more news for him.

That had been over an hour ago.

Unable to stand still in the waiting room, he had ended up at the cafeteria as he was shivering and thought coffee would help. He was wrong in that regards, but upon sitting down, he found himself unable to get up again as if heavy lead was now running though his veins, rendering him incapable of moving.

It was the guilt. You can't move because you know whatever the doctors say, it's your fault.

He had started to recall the events of the past few weeks, from their wedding anniversary till tonight, and felt himself getting drained and unable to breathe, his heart constricted in his chest, not even realizing tears had fallen down his cheeks.

Now, feeling like in a twilight zone, he simply could not believe Julian McCarty was here, facing him, and they were actually talking.

"Why are you here Jay?" he asked using his old nickname.

Julian face's turned sombre and said, "Mother."

((~~!~~))

Since being diagnosed with lung cancer the month prior, Helen's condition while stable had been preoccupying. After seeing several specialists with her children present, it was decided a course of both radiation and oral chemotherapy would be used to quash the disease. It would be intense, but it was her best chance. She had started treatment three weeks prior, and up until this very evening, things seemed to be progressing as well as circumstances allowed. 

Julian was still in Sydney due to his daughter recuperating from her heart surgery and had stayed at the McCarty estate with his mother, his wife Belinda, Melissa, Charlie and the girls.  Due to the medical conditions of his mother and daughter, a day and a night nurse were living at the mansion to ensure permanent care.

What had happened this evening was incomprehensible. Everyone had retired for the night, and around 2:30 a.m., he heard his sister Melissa scream into the night. A terrifying sound that propelled him out of bed, and rushing to the room where it originated from, which was his mother's. Only there, he froze in shock as he found his sister on her knees holding their mother's head while the night nurse was compressing her chest.

Julian dialled for an ambulance while watching the scene in front of him, bewildered.

Forty-five minutes later, here he was, in the hospital's cafeteria, hoping to find some comfort from a hot cup of coffee while his sister was in the waiting room hoping the doctors would come and tell them what exactly had happened to their mother for her breathing to collapse!

Julian would not admit it to anyone but he had been scared. Really scared.

I can't stand her, but I love her. She's my mother, was his thought as he was stirring the coffee, and glancing around the room.

The last thing he had expected was to see Ethan. Of all people!

As the two men looked into each other eyes, they knew, they both were thinking of their past, their friendship and the peculiar circumstances that led them to this hospital that very night.

Ethan was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry," he said in a cracking voice.

"What for?" Julian asked.

"Helen...You...I...My wife...Everything." he replied, his voice still shaking.

Julian chuckled, "Don't get sentimental on me E...You are scared, it's normal. Once your wife is out of here, it'll be business as usual...But thanks for saying it anyway...I know you mean it." He looked at him, as he nodded.

They remained silent for another few minutes until a doctor entered the cafeteria and said, "Mr McCarty?"

Julian got up but as he was walking towards the doctor, he stopped, turned his head and said, "E. I hope she and the baby are fine. It was nice running into you...Even after all this time and under such circumstances."

Ethan, got up, walked towards Julian, and surprising both of them, gave him a hug while saying against his ear, "I hope Helen will be ok. I pray everyone will be ok.".

Upon separating, he looked at a stunned Julian who hadn't moved, cleared his throat, and left the room followed by his bodyguard.

((~~!~~))

Helen's was breathing with an incubator and resting, oblivious to her surroundings. Melissa and Julian were outside her room speaking with the attending about what the next course of action would be since it seemed the intensity of her protocol had caused the lung collapse. The doctor reassured them, medication would be adjusted, and she shouldn't suffer any more setbacks.

Both relieved, they finally relaxed, and entered their mother's room.

On another floor of the hospital, Ethan was looking at his wife through the glass panel of her bedroom door.

She was alive. Thank God, she is alive!

She was asleep, an IV in her arm, an oxygen mask on face.

Oh God, this is so hard...

He hadn't dared enter the room; his hand resting on the knob for what seemed an eternity.

He knew he needed to go in, to comfort her, hold her hand until she'd woke up, tell her everything would be all right, that she was ok, that their baby was ok.

He couldn't.

While looking at her, he was praying.

Please dear God,

She's suffered enough,

This is all me, it's all on me,

Punish me,

Please punish me,

Let her be,

Please...

Two doctors had finally come to Ethan after 4 hours of silence, and informed him of his wife situation and the choices that needed to be made within the next 48 hours.

He had been devastated upon hearing the news and wondered how he could and would tell her.

He already made the choice in his heart, but he would respect and support her decision no matter what.

When she would wake up, she would have to choose between herself and their child.

I choose her.

Ethan thought, as he finally pushed the door open.

I choose her.