“I didn’t know you and Gerry were still talking.”

“She hates me but she knows I’m good at what I do. She’s Marie’s publicist, her mother is Marie’s actual agent, so it doesn’t matter what Gerry thinks of me; she has no say.  Anyway” Andrew scratched his head absent mindedly, yawning. Dana thought he looked tired.

 “It shouldn’t be too hard” he said, looking at the lights he had set up “Just a standard editorial.”

“What do you need me to do?” She asked.

‘“All I’ll need you to do is help with the lenses and the lighting. Just general things, keep her happy.  She has a bit of a diva reputation… could you pass me that bag over there? The blue one?”

“Say please” Dana said sweetly.

“Please” Andrew muttered, looking away.

Dana handed him his bag before making her way to the kitchen.

“So do you own this place?” Dana asked, unpacking the groceries she had bought with her. Andrew watched her unload tea, coffee, juice, snacks and fruit onto the table. Dana had been expecting a small studio and had stunned to find the address, a three storey brownstone on 15th street.  She had checked the address several times, making sure. Her assumption now was that she was at his house, as she knew Andrew was quite wealthy.

“No, it belongs to a friend. He hires this place out for photo shoots. I use it all the time.”

“Oh, that makes sense, with the different colored walls and furniture. It’s beautiful.”  Sections of the walls were different strong shades of red, olive green, white, black or were wallpapered with matching furniture, drapes and artwork. The floors contained different rugs over the polished hardwood floors. It was as if there were multiple rooms in one, which overall looked rather overwhelming, almost ugly. Yet Dana could understand the genius of its design, from a photography perspective anyhow.

Dana looked around, smiling at the clash before turning back to the groceries. “So is the fridge just for show or are the appliances switched on?”

“They’re switched on… look, Dana, why did you bring this stuff?” Andrew was frowning. “The shoot will only go on for an hour, two at the most; she’s not going to starve.”

“Andrew” Dana tsked at him, a look of reproach on her face. “It’s courtesy to offer.”

“Well if the rumors are true about her, she’s going to throw it all up anyway” Andrew said, grinning wryly. 

“You’re terrible” Dana laughed in response. Andrew could not help but feel secretly pleased, softening his hard resolve.

“How have you been?” He asked, sitting down on the red L-shaped sofa. His eyes scanned the back of her figure as she opened cabinet doors, scouting around.

“Fine” Her tone was impersonal, the warmth vanished. “I’ve been pretty busy, yourself?”

“Yeah, same” Andrew cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. “I’ve had to go to LA a few times, for work, so it’s why I had to cancel our last lunch and not been able -.”

“Not been able to talk to me like you used to?” Her tone was deceivingly light hearted “Do you have a teapot around here?”

She was dressed in black cargo pants, a pale blue tank top and a lightweight black leather jacket, her hair clipped back. 

“I don’t know if they have one… look can you take your jacket off, it’s annoying me. It’s September.”

 “Why should it annoy you? I actually feel a little cold, the air conditioner is too high” Dana turned and looked at him. “So you’ve been busy?”

She was looking at him, amused, an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, I have been” Andrew replied, defiant.

“So busy, that when you see me across the street, you turn and look in a different direction?” Dana smiled, shaking her head.

Fuck.

“Dana…” Andrew began, but Dana cut him off, holding her hand up.

“Don’t bother” She said, turning back and filling the electric kettle with water.

“Well, what did you expect?” He stood up, suddenly angry. He walked over to her in long strides, standing behind her. “After the things that were said, of course I had to avoid you. Maybe you say shit like that light heartedly but I don’t.”

Dana turned to him, her eyes blazing “Don’t be so presumptuous to assume how I speak or feel.”

“Well, why not? You’ve said those things and you expect me to forget it?” Andrew said furiously, standing extremely close to her. Dana’s back was pressed against the ledge of the sink.

“I was drunk” Dana said stiffly, avoiding eye contact. “I take back those things I said and I apologize, I didn’t mean it.”

“Great excuse, you were drunk” Andrew placed his hand under her chin, tipping her face up. “You look at me and you tell me you didn’t mean it.”

“I did NOT mean it!” Dana snapped, moving her head away. “And don’t touch me, move out of my way right now!”

“Yes, you did” He blocked her way with both of his arms, his hands gripping the edge of the counter.

“So what?” Dana hissed furiously, “I’ve told you I’m sorry and I take it back, what more do you want me to do? Who are you to call me a liar when you just lied to me now? What about the things you said that night?” Seeing the stunned look on his face, she continued. “If you have to avoid me, why did you invite me here? If you’re angry, why contact me at all?”

“Because I-” The buzzer rang and he stepped away, his mouth set in a grim line. “Can you please answer the door, she’s here. I have to get the equipment ready”

* * *

“I love your jacket, it’s so gorgeous” Marie said.

“Oh, thank you, that’s sweet of you” Dana said, warmly. Andrew looked at her, marvelling. How could someone be so composed? A few minutes ago she looked as if she had been ready to hit him and now she was all smiles and sunshine. He on the other hand, could never hide any feeling, it instantly showed on his face.

“Are you a photographer as well?”

“Nope, I’m just Andrew’s assistant for today. I have to carry his bags and hold the silver umbrella.”

“Where did you get it?” Jessica asked, touching the collar lightly.

“The jacket? I bought it from Milan in 2001; I was touring through Europe during summer.”

“Excuse me” Andrew’s tone was soft but dangerous. “I’m sorry to interrupt but we really haven’t got much time.”

“It’s great” Marie said, her eyes coveting. “Milan is in France, right?”

“Italy. But perhaps we should start the photo shoot, as Andrew just said we are running a bit-”

“Is there a bathroom here? I am going to get ready, change my clothes, put on my makeup and stuff.”

Andrew looked at her. His expression didn’t change but Dana could see him clench his fists. “Go down the hallway, the last door to the left.”

“Thanks” Marie scampered out of the living room, the door slamming shut behind her with a loud bang.

Andrew rubbed his knuckles over his eyes and wandered over to the window that looked out on the street. He leaned his head against the pane and closed his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Dana asked.

“What the hell am I doing here?” He muttered, not looking at her.

“It’s going to be okay, it’ll be fine” Dana reassured.

“The editor wants vivacious” Andrew chuckled slightly, shaking his head. “Vivacious.”

Marie Jansen was listed as one of the hottest new young actresses under thirty, alongside Natalie Portman. Thin, sullen and pouty and hispanic- she was the star of a Sci-Fi show Dana had never heard of and was apparently about to become famous in a film that had not yet been released. But she was not a real star yet. She did not turn up with an entourage, a press representative or even a stylist. She had just turned up on her own to the address and said she absolutely had to leave by four thirty, which was less than an hour.

“Hmm, vivacious” Dana replied, unsure of what to say. Marie had looked moody, unhappy to be there. The only time she looked vivacious was on the subject of Dana’s jacket.

“She looks depressed. Depressed and ill. She looks like a mannequin for all the emotion she has. There’s no life in her. I can’t stand these jobs anymore - these shit photos of celebrities with too much make up and too few clothes, spoilt by attention, who’ll get dumped within the next year. I hate working for these fucking magazines, you can’t tell these women apart. It’s a stupid con and I’m a part of it” He turned away from the window and looked at her. “Why am I doing this?”

“Um, for the money?”

“Yeah, money” Andrew snapped, as if the word was something dirty.

“Andrew” Dana sighed, fed up. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t be like this. You have an amazing career, you’re wealthy and successful, and you’re famous. You were listed in top ten most important people in photography by American photo and you’re twenty four years old. You have a book, you’ve had exhibitions… you’ve been compared to Annie Leibovitz for god’s sake-.”

“I hate Annie Leibovitz” Andrew interrupted.

“Who cares, that isn’t the point! People envy you, they envy your career. People would kill to be in your shoes, you should realize how lucky you are.”

“So?”

“So, what’s the problem? Don’t get so worked up over small things, stop taking yourself so seriously.” Dana paused hesitantly, before adding “This isn’t medical surgery; you just have to take some photos.”

“Right, well since it’s so easy, you can deal with princess this afternoon, you take the photos. I’m out” Andrew clumsily began to pack up his equipment, his face set in a thunderous scowl. Dana placed her hand on his forearm but he pulled away.

“Don’t touch me” He growled. “You’re just like the rest.”

“The rest of what? The capitalist system? Humanity?” She tugged the bag he was holding and it fell with a thud, the zoom lens rolling out.

“God damn it, Dana! Do you have any idea how much that costs?” His hand gripped her forearm. It hurt but Dana refused to allow him to know what.

“Nope” Dana shrugged. “But what would I know; I’m just a stupid normal person, I don’t understand such things. Unlike you, the artistic genius. And hey, it’s just money, right? Who cares about money?”

“Um, hello?”  Marie’s voice made them spring apart. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Nothing at all” Dana said brightly. “Are you ready? You look so pretty.”

Andrew muttered something and retrieved the lens. Dana had been hoping Marie had gone to the bathroom to snort some coke. No such luck. She was as lethargic as ever. Dana offered her something to drink.

“What do you have?”

“Tea, coffee, apple juice, water.”

“What kind of tea?”

“Green tea or Black.”

“No chamomile?”

“Um, no but the sencha is really nice, it has pineapple, strawberry and orange in it. I drink it all the time, there’s this great shop on Madison Avenue that-.”

“That sounds fattening” Marie pulled a face. Before Dana could correct her and tell her it was calorie free, Marie asked “Is the coffee decaffeinated?”

“No, I’m afraid it isn’t” Dana could hear Andrew snickering and she shot him a dirty look.

“What kind of water?”

What kind of water? “Uh... from the faucet.”

She made another disgusted face. “I’ve got a headache” she winced.

“Do you want Tylenol?”

“No.”

“Would you like to reschedule for tomorrow?” Andrew’s voice sounded soft and creepy once again.

Marie was oblivious. “I’m on set tomorrow.”

“Then we’ll just have to do it now, won’t we?”

“I guess” She sighed, slumping back.

Andrew unscrewed his camera from the stand. “Marie, I’d like to make things a bit more casual, not so posed. People magazine wants you to be energetic; do you think you can manage that?”

Marie shrugged in response. Andrew proceeded to take some photos, instructing her to pose; Marie followed the directions yet still managed to remain just as unresponsive.

“Marie” Andrew said eventually. His voice was calm, but Dana could see a muscle working in his jaw.

“Yeah?”

“You’re an actress, aren’t you? Can’t you manage a small smile or even a pout? You could be made of wax the way you look. You don’t look happy at all.”

“Well, you know what!” Marie snapped, suddenly standing up, hands clenched at the side “You’re a jerk. You’re rude. I’m going to contact my agent and ask for someone else to photograph me.”

Dana looked at Andrew, who looked as if he were either about to have a stroke or bludgeon Marie to death with the camera. She decided to intervene at that point.

“Marie?” Dana nodded at her. “Can you follow me for just a second?”

“Dana?” Andrew was no longer bothering to hide how pissed he was. “Are you going for a fucking girls chat in the bathroom now?”

“Oh, Andrew, behave” Dana said, her tone cheerful. She signalled Marie to follow her out of the room. Leading her to a bedroom off the hallway, Dana closed the door firmly behind her. She took her jacket off.

“You said you liked it, right? You can have it.”

“Really?” Marie looked surprised. “That’s nice of you.”

“I think it’ll suit you” Dana said, handing it over.

“Do you want money for it?”

“No, it’s a gift. I would like you to do me a favor though.”

Marie pulled on the jacket with the eagerness of a small child. She stood in front of the mirror, admiring herself. “Yes?”

“It's like Andrew said, you’re an actress. I know he comes across as temperamental but artists usually are… I’m sure you understand what that’s like. I know it’s probably been a long day and you’re tired but for the next fifteen minutes, can you pretend to be someone who is having a really fun time?”

Marie’s reflection was thoughtful but then she turned around, her face suddenly illuminated with sweet, imitated radiance.  “Of course I can.” Even her voice was sugary, “No problem.”

* * *

“Dana?”

“Hmm?” She was pouring some freshly brewed tea for herself. She had just taken two Tylenol, yet the headache persisted.

“Thanks” Andrew collapsed on the couch, exhausted. “That didn't go as I planned.”

“It’s okay” Dana tried not to shiver. Wearing her sleeveless blue top, she was suddenly  self-conscious of her chest, her nipples stiffening. Awkwardly she crossed one of her arms over, the other trying to manage the cup she was carrying.  “Could you turn the air conditioner off? This house is freezing.”

“I just did” He looked at her. “And I’m sorry about your jacket; I’ll buy you another one.”

“Are you going to go overseas for that?” Dana teased lightly. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Come sit here, have this” He pulled a throw off the sofa, holding it out to her. Andrew tried not to stare as she walked towards him.  She sat next to him and he draped it over her shoulders, looking the other way.

“Thanks” She proffered the cup out to him, “You sure you don’t want some? Try it, it’s nice.”

“It’s alright” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Um, I was going to give you one hundred and fifty for today, but I’ve decided to double it, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Dana stopped sipping her drink, looking at him. “Do you think I came here expecting to be paid? I just gave away something worth nine hundred dollars.”

“No but… um, um” He could feel himself stammer. “I was a jerk to you as well, I feel bad… about everything.” He looked at her then and Dana was surprised to see how distressed he looked. “I haven’t slept properly at all the last two weeks. I feel wrecked, I think about this, us, all the time. I think about you… and I’m sorry I ignored you and was rude but I thought maybe if you could hate me it… I don't know what I was doing but I'm sorry, I missed you. You have no idea what this has done to me.”

“Done what?” Dana was startled. Placing the cup on the floor, she grabbed his hand between hers. “Andrew, listen to me. We haven’t done anything. I am so sorry for what I said, I shouldn’t have. I had no idea it would upset you so much-.”

“But you meant it, didn’t you?”

Dana paused, hesitating, tempted to lie. “Yes, I meant what I said. I wish I hadn’t though, I wouldn’t have normally said anything… it was dumb of me-.”

“It isn’t what you just said” Andrew cut her short. “You confirmed it, that’s all. I’ve felt like this about you for a while but I thought it was just me and…” His voice trailed away.

Dana was suddenly aware of his close he was, his face right near hers, his hand resting on her upper thigh. Dana felt her face turn hot at the look upon his face. She placed her hand over his and looked down, unable to look him in the eye. She watched their fingers interlacing, the sound of her pounding heart roaring in her ears.

“What’s wrong?” He murmured, his lips brushing against her ear.

“Nothing” Her voice came out high, and she winced inwardly. She wished more than anything that she could be sexy, more self-assured.

“You’re trembling. Are you cold? Come here, come closer” He tugged Dana towards him, holding her hand, his other hand on her hip, lifting her slightly. She flipped her leg over so that she was straddling him, seated on his lap.

“God, you’re beautiful” He cupped her face in his hands, looking at her, before bringing her forward, his lips pressing against hers. Dana could feel herself go limp, as if she were dissolving. They melted into one another, she leaning against him as they touched mouths together and kissed and kissed and kissed. Their eyes were closed; she had her arms and legs wrapped around him, her knees locked at his waist. Slow, soft, touching their lips together, holding their mouths open, their tongues sliding over and under. 

He loved the way she tasted, her warm mouth, the glass like surface of her teeth. Her eyelashes when they blinked against his skin. He unclipped her hair and it fell down around their faces. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close.

And then Ingrid’s face flashed in his head.

Andrew cringed, trying to shake the thought away. He kept kissing her, trying to continue, his hands rubbing the warm skin on her stomach. But it was too late.

“Dana, we can’t…we shouldn’t be doing this” He pulled away abruptly. Dana looked at him, stunned.

“I am so sorry” He was short of breath. “But I shouldn’t, we shouldn’t do this. I feel guilty. Fuck, I'm sorry.”

“That's fine, it's okay” She slid off his lap and stood up, adjusting her clothing. “I should get going then” She avoided his eyes, as she fixed her hair, composing herself.

“Wait, Dana, can we talk? Please don’t leave like this.”

“Can we talk later?” Dana looked at him and Andrew could not bear the look on her face - she looked exhausted, defeated. She turned away and picked up her bag, slipped on her shoes. “I’m sorry, I’m not angry but I can’t talk right now, I need to be alone. We can meet later, is that okay? Or maybe you can call me.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow” He stood up and walked over to her. “Can we meet tomorrow?”

“Okay, tomorrow” She touched his arm lightly. “Goodbye.”

“Bye” He watched her leave, the door closing with a soft click behind her.