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Tandra

 

Kevin




Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


“Baby, are you even handing out the candy to the trick or treaters?” Tandra asked as Kevin bit into a fun size Snickers bar.

“Yeah…just not the good kind.  Hey, if their parents wanted them to have the good candy they would buy it themselves.” Kevin responded as he pulled out another meat and cheese tray from the fridge.  They were hosting a party as well as handing out candy to trick or treaters this year for Halloween.

“See, that’s the kind of shit that’s gonna get our house vandalized next year.  Hand out the good candy, please.” Tandra said before she took the tray to the food and drink table.  She surveyed the table and decided they should be good for the next hour or so until they have to replenish the table with more refreshments.

“Michonne and Rick…really?” Joss, Tandra’s friend, said as Kevin followed behind her with another bowl of hummus.  Tandra laughed and hugged Joss who was dressed as Cat Woman.

“Yes, Michonne and Rick.  You have no idea how hard it was finding a dreadlock wig that didn’t look cheap.  It was easier finding a plastic samurai sword than the wig.  And don’t even ask Kevin what’s he’s doing…”

“I’m doing stuff…things…” Kevin said in this best Rick Grimes impression and Tandra playfully glared at him before hitting him on the shoulder.

“You knew I was gonna do it, don’t lie.  You know you were setting it up.  You love it.” Kevin said as he kissed her on the cheek before turning to Joss.  “You enjoying the party?” he asked as he popped a chip into his mouth.

“You have no idea.  I thank you for having this party.  I had an excuse to not go to my boyfriend’s company party.” Joss said as someone called for Kevin from across the room and he excused himself and went over to the guy dresses as a bottle of Jack Daniels.  Tandra knew it had to be one of Kevin’s friends.

“Is it that bad?” Tandra asked as she ladled some punch into two plastic cups and handed one to Joss and drank from her.

“Yeah, it’s better than trying to fake enthusiasm with my boyfriends’ boss’s wife and her Real Housewife of fill-in-the-blank clones.  I swear those bitches are beyond over the top try hards.  Your party is chill…I can be myself.”

“Thank ya girl.  Or should I say, meow.  Lovin’ the Cat Woman costume.  Which Cat Woman are you?”

“Eartha of course…” Joss said as she purred in Eartha Kitt’s signature purr.  “So, have you heard what your crazy friend did the other day?”

“What crazy friend?  I thought you were the crazy friend…” Tandra said with a laugh and Joss glared at her.  “You know I’m just playin’…”

“I know.  Anyway, Lana caused a scene at the store over a princess costume for Brittany.  This woman was shopping with her kid and both her daughter and Brittany saw the costume at the same time and of course it was the last one in the store.  Lana went completely crazy and was arguing with the woman and security was called.  I would’ve been embarrassed.”

“Lana is always on mama bear mode for Brittany.  I mean, I get it, but damn.  A costume store?  That’s too much…” Tandra said before the doorbell rang and she excused herself to get to the door before Kevin did.  She opened the door and saw two boys dressed as Thor and Loki.  “Well, aren’t you two cute…” she said before she was about to hand them the candy and Kevin stopped her and she sighed.

“What’s the magic words?” Kevin asked the kids and Tandra gave him a sideways glance.  “You can’t have any candy until you say it…”

“Just give us the fucking candy, man.” the kid dressed as Thor said and Tandra gave the kid a look that screamed, “oh no you didn’t…”

“Did you just say what I think you said?” Tandra asked and the kids didn’t seem phased by her tone and they just stood there gesturing for her to put the candy in their pumpkin-shaped buckets with an expecting expression on their faces.

“Just forget it.” the kid dressed as Loki said as they walked away.  “They probably have shitty candy anyway…”

“I don’t know who those kids’ parents were, but they were about this close to getting they little asses snatched.” Tandra said to Kevin and he laughed.

“Well, kids are not like they used to be indeed.  Good thing that sword is fake…I think you woulda used it if you coulda.” Kevin said in his Rick accent.

“He don’t even stay that, Kevin…” Tandra said as she took a Kit-Kat and opened it before Kevin gave her a look.  “Don’t judge me…I just got cussed out by mini Thor and Loki.  Promise me when we decide to have kids that we won’t let them turn out like that.”

“I promise.  And if they do…I’ll let you get a real samurai sword to threaten them within an inch of their life with.” Kevin said as he kissed her.  “How’s the punch?”

“It’s good.  You make good rum punch, baby.” Tandra said as she sipped from her cup.  “Okay, please tell me who is the guy dressed like a sex offender…”

“Mike…” Kevin said with a grimace and Tandra shivered as she remembered Kevin’s drunken co-worker that hit on her at the Christmas party last year.

“Keep him away from me.  I’m already pissed off because of those Bebe’s Kids we saw earlier.” Tandra said and Kevin was confused.  “Okay, that’s going on the list of black movies you need to watch…” she said with a laugh.

“Ha, ha…” Kevin said as he took another candy bar from the big bowl of candy.  “Is it time to do the murder mystery game, yet?”

“Almost.  I’m giving it another half hour or so.  So, are you ready to die, Lord Clifton?” Tandra asked as she called him by his murder mystery character he was playing in their game.  She was playing Madame Helena.

“Yeah, as long as you’re not the one who kills me.  I gotta say, that’s gonna affect our marriage if you do that.” Kevin joked

“I would only kill you in the quickest and quietest way possible…” Tandra retorted and Kevin looked suspicious.

“And what would that method be, Madame Helena?” Kevin asked in his awful but cute English accent.  “Would you poison me, Madame?  What would be your motive.”

“Well, Lord Clifton…” Tandra said in her equally awful French accent.  “That will be something only I know and you to find out.”

“Goodness we have horrible accents…” Kevin said as they walked to the living room to talk to a few people.  They spent most of the party socializing and handing out candy to kids until the murder mystery game was about to happen.

“Okay, everybody, the game is about to begin a twenty minutes.  Pick a character from this bowl and pick your murder weapon from this bowl and we’ll begin.” Tandra said as she turned the music down and everybody began walking towards the table with the names of characters and weapons.  “Oh, and…Happy Halloween.” she said as Kevin turned off the lights.












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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.