The morning after Jade’s birthday, Cassie sat on a barstool at her kitchen counter. She held a coffee mug filled with hot chocolate and stared at her front door. On the counter top in front of her was the phone. Cassie briefly stopped glaring at the door so she could look down at the phone. There were no missed calls. 

Stupid, stupid Cassie, she thought to herself. She was mulling over the previous night and her actions. She kissed. She could not explain why she did it exactly. To be fair, Luke was attractive. Cassie never disputed that fact. But she was not ready for anything more than the friendship they developed over the last two months. Cassie laid her head on the counter and groaned. She was startled when the phone rang loud and vibrated violently against the counter. 

Cassie grabbed the phone and answered it with her head still on the counter. “Hello?” 

“Morning Cassie. I didn’t think you’d be up yet.”

“Hi Jade.” Cassie said sitting up.

“You sound excited to hear from me.” Jade teased.

“I saw you last night. And why are you calling this early?”

“I wanted to see how you were doing and I was curious.” Jade said.

“About…”

“You and Luke.”

“Arghhh,” Cassie groaned. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You never want to talk about it.” Jade said.

Cassie rolled her eyes. Her friend was right. And Cassie did need a sounding board, but she was not sure she wanted Jade to be that sounding board. But since Cassie returned and effectively pushed most of her other friends away, she was out of options. “Well. We’ve been hanging out and doing things together. It’s not a big deal. I’ve been bored, and you’ve been out of town. And you know I can’t start randomly calling people to hang out after over a year of no contact. Luke was the only viable option.”

“I see.” Jade said. “There is something else isn’t there?” 

“Well…” Cassie began. Sometimes she hated that her best friend knew her so well. Even through the phone the other woman could tell there was more to the story than Cassie was letting on. “I did something stupid last night.”

“You had sex with Luke!”

“Dear god, no.” Cassie said. “Why did you go to that extreme?” Cassie laughed

“Okay then what stupid thing did you do?” Jade asked.

“I kissed him, which is bad enough.”

“Oh.” 

“I don’t know why. He was leaving and I kind of just went for it.” Cassie said.

Jade did not comment. 

Cassie waited for Jade’s reaction. Her leg began to bounce anxiously up and down. “You’re not going to say anything other than, ‘oh’?” Cassie asked.

Jade remained quite on the other side of the line. Cassie could hear noises in the background and the sound of someone else’s voice.

“Jade, where are you?” Cassie asked changing the subject after getting the feeling that wherever Jade was, her best friend was not alone.

“What?” Jade asked. It was obvious she was not paying attention when Cassie asked her  question.

“I said, where are you?” 

“Um…” Jade went quiet. Cassie knew exactly what that meant. As obnoxious as Jade was about Cassie finding someone who deserved her and not running from things, Jade did not follow her own advice. 

“Are you and Sean…Did you… Are you with Sean?” Cassie stuttered.

“Cassie, don’t start. And don’t change the subject. We were talking about you.” Jade said in an attempt to steer the conversation back on track.

“Unbelievable.” Cassie said ignoring the last part of Jade’s statement. “Although I shouldn’t be surprised. He was all over you while you stared down Carmen all of last night.”

“You had to go there didn’t you.” Jade asked.

“I always go there.” Cassie said.

Jade did not respond. Cassie did always go there. The way their friendship worked always had one steering the other forward when it seemed like they were falling behind or remaining stagnate. 

“If you like her then you should do something about it and stop leading Sean on.” Cassie said breaking the silence.

“I don’t even know her.” Jade said honestly. Cassie could tell she sounded defeated. One day, preferably sooner rather than later, Cassie was sure Jade would get tired of hiding and take a step into allowing the world to truly know who she was.

“If you wanted to, you could. I’m sure I could get her number from Luke for  you.” Cassie smiled. She liked turning the tables on Jade.

“Stop trying to play matchmaker.” 

“I’ll stop when  you stop.” Cassie joked.

“I have no idea to what you are referring.” Jade said mockingly.

The two friends laughed at their antics. “The Fourth is in a couple of weeks.” Jade said changing the subject.

“It’s nice of you to point out the obvious.” Cassie joked.

“Ha.Ha. I’ve been invited to a yacht party on the Hudson, I wanted to know if you’d like me to put your name on the list , possibly with a plus one?”

“Actually I have plans already.” Cassie said. “Or at least I hope I still do. I haven’t talked to Luke since last night.”

“So you and Luke have plans. That’s…”

“Don’t start Jade, just don’t. We’re doing a two-hour Revolutionary War tour before heading out to East Hampton with Carmen, Dani and Alex. Alex’s business partner has a vacation house out there that we’re going to use. Apparently Dani will be grilling while Alex watches off to the side.” Cassie explained.

“That sounds kind of boring, Cassie.” Jade said.

“You know how I feel about history.”

“I know, and I’m bored by it, but whatever. Have a good time.” Jade said.

“Will do. I’ll talk to you later. I’m getting ready to head out to the botanical gardens to take some photos.”

“Have fun. I’ll talk to you later.”

Cassie hung up the phone and decided she would try not to worry about her impulsive actions of the night before. Luke was a friend, and she hoped he would understand that it was late, she was tired and she had been drinking. That was the excuse she let herself believe. 

Try as she might, over the next few days, Cassie could not ignore what happened the night of Jade’s get together. Cassie blatantly ignored Luke’s calls; she was not sure how she would explain what happened. She did not know why she did it herself. Since Christian’s death, Cassie had perfected the art of ignoring, or call it suppressing, one’s feelings, and addressing the kiss meant addressing her feelings. Despite Cassie’s reluctance, she did need to talk to Luke. They made plans for the Fourth of July and Cassie was looking forward to those plans, which meant she would have to talk to him sooner rather than later. More specifically, Cassie would have to talk to Luke about what happened in the doorway of her apartment because she was sure he would not let the whole event pass without needing to comment on it.

Cassie was wearing a hole in her living room floor. She walked in circles trying to plan what she was going to say when Luke picked up the phone. With the phone in hand, Cassie tested out a few opening statements, none of which sounded right or reasonable. A knock on the door interrupted her thought process, and her path around the room. She stopped what she was doing and looked to the door. She was not expecting anyone. After a few moments, there was another knock followed by a voice. 

“Cassie, open the door. You can’t keep ignoring me.” Luke said.

Cassie closed her eyes and put her hands to her head. Although she should have, Cassie was not expecting him to show up at her front door. Despite his continued knocking, Cassie did not make a move to let her uninvited guest inside.

“You know Cassie, I was a bit of a devious child, so I know how to pick a lock.” Luke threatened through the locked door.

Cassie sighed in defeat and opened the door. “Hi.” She said.

“Hi to you too. “ 

The two stood face-to-face for a moment. Neither said a word. Tiring of the silence and of standing in the hall Luke spoke first. “Can I come in?” He asked.

Cassie stepped aside to allow him to enter. Luke walked in and then turned to face Cassie. “You’ve been ignoring me.”

“I’ve been busy. I was going to call.” Cassie said. She waved the phone in her hand as proof. “In fact, I was getting ready to call.”

“Of course you were.” Luke said. He took the time to really look at Cassie. He studied her. She looked a bit confused, as if there was something she was trying to figure out, but she could not quite grasp the answer. From the moment Cassie kissed him, Luke knew she was unsure of her actions. And the current confusion on her face was evidence that she was still unsure. Instead of pressing the matter, Luke decided it might be best to just let it go.

“The other night…” Luke began, but Cassie interrupted.

“I’m sorry about that. I don’t know why I… I’m impulsive sometimes. A lot of times. And…” Cassie started to ramble; the words tumbling out of her mouth refused to form a coherent thought.

Luke took a step toward Cassie and placed his hand on her arm. She stopped talking. “Why don’t we just agree it didn’t happen? It was late.” Luke said.

Cassie was stunned. That was something else she was not expecting. She looked into his eyes to see if he was willing to truly pretend the whole thing never happened. “Okay. That’s… yeah. Nothing happened.” Cassie agreed. Luke surprised her, but she was grateful he did. 

“Great.” Luke said. “Now that’s settled how about we go get something to eat and discuss the plan for the Fourth. I still can’t believe I let you talk me into doing a walking historical tour of the city.” 

Luke was trying to lighten the mood and Cassie appreciated that. She smiled and nodded her head. 

“I didn’t have to try to hard before you agreed.” Cassie laughed. “But yeah, we can go get food. I can always eat.” Cassie said. “I just have to get my purse.” Cassie left to get the bag from her room.

Luke waited quietly in the living room. His eyes moved around the apartment taking in anything he may have missed on his previous visit. After three days of having his calls ignored, Luke finally made the decision to confront Cassie face to face. So when he decided to go to Cassie’s apartment, it was not to let her actions go undiscussed. He wanted to know what was going through her head. Their kiss did not upset him. It had quite the opposite effect; it had him thinking.  However, he changed his mind when Cassie opened the door. It was clear that she did not know what was going through her head either. For the sake of their friendship, Luke thought maybe it would be better to just let things stay the way they were, despite the fact that his own feelings for Cassie were growing. 

Luke’s attention was brought back to the moment when he heard the soft sound of Cassie’s sneakered-feet walking into the room. He looked over to where she stood in the doorway of her bedroom. She had stopped to take time to pull her dark brown curls into a messy ponytail. 

“Are you ready?” Cassie asked dropping her arms after completing her task.

“Yeah. I’m ready. Are you?” Luke asked.

Cassie tilted her head slightly. She was not sure why, but she felt like Luke was not asking her if she was ready to eat, but if she was ready for something else entirely. Cassie brushed off the feeling. “For food, always.” Cassie responded. She walked across the room and led him out of the door.