“Faie,” He groaned in his sleep, beads of sweat clung to his forehead and slid down his bare chest. 

    “Faie! Wake up.” He jolted awake. His disoriented eyes found Avery’s. 

    “What…” 

    “You were talking in your sleep again.” He mumbled ‘sorry’ before falling back asleep. Today, it was his baby’s birthday. She was to turn 33 if he kept his years right. Yes… 33. He was not a young man anymore. He was getting old. Sighing in his sleep, he drifted back into time and he wished he could freeze it and savor it forever. 

*** 

    Her dreads, long and thin brushed his neck as she bent to kiss him. Her lips tasted like her favorite berry…strawberry. He smiled into the kiss and she playfully nipped at his lower lip. 

    “I love you.” It was the first time she had told him that and he couldn’t even begin to explain how his heart soared in the sky. He slid his fingers through her thick hair and brought her face closer. 

    “You mean that? Xaen?” 

    “Of course I do. I love you with all my heart.” He could feel it. The fragile yet powerful passion in the air. They were young… at the cusp of adulthood and yet… he wanted to bring them both to that point. As his father explained it: the moment when he would feel like a man and she a woman… that bonding between the body that nothing else could replace. 

    “I can’t fully express what my heart feels Xaen. I can’t not for you. But… I… I want to show you.” Her beautiful brown eyes found his and he blushed. But he would not back down. He wanted this with her. Finally. 

    “I want to make love to you Xaen.” She grew silent and he stared intensely at her, analyzing her expressions and body language. It was a while until she leaned back down and pressed her lips to his. 

    “Okay. I’m ready.” 

*** 

    The women at the encampment tried to throw themselves at him and he bluntly turned the down. He wasn’t interested in any other woman, no matter how aroused he became. She was the only woman for him and that would never change. When she found out about him, he would do whatever he could to make things go back to normal. But, for now he had to hide like some coward in the shadows. If he could, he’d break her out of jail himself. He was skilled enough to do so. But… 

    “Faie, it’s morning light. Let’s get up and wake the others. We can’t stay here much longer. Time to find another safe point.” He opened his eyes and stared in the darkness. You are all I have left connecting me to this world. If I can’t get you back, I’ll die trying. And that was all he could do. Getting up, he ran a hand through his messy hair and pulled on a shirt to get to it. 

***

    “When are you going to get her? Are you even going to try?” Faie looked up from his tent into the eyes of a young man. He put down a blazer and pushed his hair back. 

“You come to taunt me on why I cannot even save my own wife Kid?” The young man did not smile. He just looked at him. 

“When you ask? I’d leave this shit hole and go to her right now if I could.” 

“Why don’t you?” The kid was intense and very serious. Something Faie liked. 

“You know what? I will. Not now. But I will.” He watched the young man walk away and cracked a small smile. 

*** 

The wind  from the open window filled his lungs and he took a deep breath of it. A soft hand gently caressed his face. 

“Gael…” Her voice was sweet and soft, soothing and gentle. Yet he did not stir. He purposely did this… all to savor her touch. 

“Gael, wake up.” Still, he did not stir. He felt her straddle him, her dreads teasing his chest. 

“If you do not awaken, I will force you.” Her lips kissed his gently and he could no longer resist. He kissed her back deeply and groaned softly. 

“Xaen?” 

“You weren’t sleeping. You were faking it.” He opened one eye and smirked. 

“That’s rude to accuse me.” She snorted and tried to get off of him but his hands grabbed her hips. 

“Don’t leave. I like you on top of me.” She snorted louder and rolled her eyes, but weren’t her eyes smiling. 

“I have something to tell you.” He sat up and kissed her shoulder, pulling the fabric down to kiss her collarbone and the swell of her breast. 

“What’s up?” She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. 

“Txeis told me I couldn’t… I couldn’t reproduce unless they made it so. Do you remember?” 

“Sons of bitches. I’m still pissed about that Xaen. How dare they toy with your reproductive system.” His voice was angry and his face grew hot with anger. He wanted to kill those bastards. He would never forget coming home and seeing Xaen on the floor sitting in a pool of her own blood crying.

“I’m pregnant.” His body grew still and the shock of what she said caused his heart to beat faster. But… a huge smile slid across his face. She had lifted her head and was looking at him, carefully recording his reaction. 

“How…how is that possible?” She shrugged but he caught the smirk. 

“Let’s just say that my body fought their medications and tampering.” She slid her hand down his face and her smooth hand against his morning beard felt better than words. 

“I felt inadequate. How could I call myself Xaen Choi when I couldn’t even bear children for my husband?” 

“Shh… baby…. You’re not inadequate.  Never were.” He pressed his face against her breast, now bare. 

“Talk to me. A-are you happy Gael?” He hugged her tightly to him and tears came to his eyes. 

“More than you know sweetheart. I just… I want to keep this one.” His eyes met hers and she bit her lip. 

“I want to finally be able to have a child of ours live. The company’s policy has given us so much heartbreak and I…I’m glad that we were able to try again and this one pull through.” She nodded, tracing his bottom lip with her thumb. 

“We’re not giving this baby up Gael. Not…Not again. I know how much you want a child. And I will try to give you as many as you want.” 

“No Xaen… try because you want it just as much as me.” The Clok beeped loudly and he groaned against her lips. 

“Shit. I’m going to be late…” 

“I don’t want you to get up.” He took in his beautiful wife, lips parted, eyes starting to grow dusky with desire. Her chest met his and their breath was one. She looked ravishing. Her soft legs trapped him and he wished he could indulge in them. 

“Xaen, baby I have to go.”  She pouted, sliding fingers down his waist to hold him close. 

“Now that my body has resisted their medication… I was wanting another child.” She said in a teasing tone. Grinning, he pressed a kiss to her lips and then… down… down until they met her womb. He kissed there the longest. The tiny life yet to begin would know his love. 

“There will be plenty more to come.” He looked up at her and she smiled prettily. 

“Yes. There shall.” 

“Come shower with me.” She allowed him to pull her off of their bed and into the bathroom.

*** 

Memories swam around his head, bringing smiles to him. He couldn’t describe his happiness when she told him she was pregnant. She had suffered enough with miscarriage after miscarriage under forced medication. Txeis had ruined his wife but finally she was feeling normal again. He hated seeing her so broken and he had hoped that child would bring them the happiness they deserved. 

“Faie, head up. We’re moving the group east.” He shook his hair to stimulate his focus. 

“Shouldn’t we take the group further west?” 

“Their dogs patrol primarily in the West. You know that Faie.” 

“Yeah all right brother. I trust your leadership. East it is.” 

“Let’s go. Women and Children, go with Kiyard. Men, stay with me and Faie. We will meet at the checkpoint. Is that clear?” 

“Yeah.” The groups separated and began to move. The sun blazed down on them and he grunted, wiping the sweat off his forehead. 

“Fuck it’s hot.” 

“I know.” He grew hard with reserve. He would force his body to push on until they reached their destination. 

*** 

The night was cool and the air provided a comfort to him. Xaen.. what are you doing tonight? Are you looking at the stars like I am? 

“Thinking about Xaen?” He turned to find Avery laying beside him. 

“Yeah. I want her back with every inch of my soul.” 

“I bet you do.” He scoffed and punched him. 

“Be serious you asshole.” Avery’s smile soon slid off his face and that haunted look covered his face. 

“I’m more than serious Faie. I am so crazy I hear Tyvni speaking to me. I feel her and see her in the heat when we move at day. I hear her voice in my head. She’s everywhere. I feel like I am going insane.”  He couldn’t do anything but relate and understand where Av was coming from. He was driving himself insane. Xaen was everywhere. He dreamt about her every night and he saw her in everyone in each city they passed through. 

“I do too brother. I do too. Xaen… she… she is my reason for living. My air to breathe and the only one who can shatter and ruin me.” 

“Do you know that when they took Ty, she… was… pregnant? They took both my wife and child from me. Our first… we had been trying for years and every time she took the bait… they increased her medications for their experiments. They robbed me of my baby girl. It was too soon to tell but I just knew it would be a girl. Ty always wanted a girl and so did I.” His voice grew hard and bitter. Ah, so he knew more of his pain than he realized. 

“This is why we are doing this. Txeis destroyed this world with their greed. They split up families and homes; marriages and relationships. And for what? Research? Av… you are going to get Tyvni back and there will be another baby girl to come to you.” 

“I hope so. I hope Ty is okay. Last I heard from her was a year ago. I don’t think she’s been getting my letters.” 

“She is Av. You have to believe that she is. She knows just what you are doing and where you are going. She knows you are going to get her.” 

“Do you think the same about Xaen? Do you think she knows?” He turned his gaze back on the stars, his eyes aglow. 

“Xaen knows what kind of man I am. While she believes that I am dead… I am not. I will go to her. And I will rebuild my life and my family.”