“You have to get out the car.”

“NO!” Ava refused profusely.

I sighed, hitting my forehead against the steering wheel. I should have already known that this wouldn’t be easy. We sat in the hospital parking lot for almost thirty minutes arguing back and forth. We had gone 10 minutes protesting back and forth when I decided to turn around and grab her, physically moving her out my car. Before I could even get my hand to graze her arm she let out a piercing scream that busted at my eardrums and sent body hurdling back.

“Don’t you dare!” She screeched.

I threw my hands up in defeat then placed them right back onto the steering wheel staring right at the sedan parked in front of me.

We sat in silence for another 10 minutes until we started right back at the same banter.

“Get out the car.”

“No.”

“Why do you think I ran away in the first place?” She asked. Her body was spread out across my backseat comfortably.

“You’re afraid to go back to your mental institution?”

Her lips pressed together, her eyes deadpan. You tried it, is what she thought.

“No-”

“Listen, the police are looking for you. I’m tired, and we can’t stay in this parking lot forever. You have to go back.” I opened the car door and stepped out into the parking lot.

“Where are you going?” She asked in a panick.

“I’m finding a nurse.”

She quickly jumped out the back seat. “Go ahead! But I’m not staying. I’ll just run away.”

She started walking in the opposite direction of the hospital. I rushed over and pulled her back by the forearm.

“If you leave I won’t look for you.”  I was stern. I had a good grip on her arm, and I was sure to look her square in the eye. She herself was flustered, her face frowning.

“I don’t care.”  She snatched her arm back away from my hand and continued to storm away.

My head was turning left and right franticly. “Shit, Shit, shit.”

Now my eyes caught the sight of the different people walking by watching the both of us bicker. A mother tugged at her child’s hand as she pointed blatantly at Ava and me. An older man juggled around with his keys while he stood beside his car that was parked a few cars away, staring at Ava with concern. And a couple walked right past us hand and hand while the girl said to her boyfriend in a low tone,

“Should we call the police?”

Now shit was really getting out of hand. We’d become a scene.

“Hey! Hey, Hey.” I rushed over to her side. Her steps were short but fast. She had a brisk stride that she hadn’t let up.

“Alright, stop.”

She continued. Her pace might have even picked up. She didn’t even bother to even give me a glance.

“Hey, I said stop it!”

“Why?” She asked, not looking at me as she did so.

“So you can turn me into the police? I don’t think so.” She began walking even faster. Forget that. She was no longer walking, it was more like a jog. I had to practically run to keep up. We were steadily approaching the hospital entrance.  You could hear the cars speeding by the main road. 

“Ay! I said stop it already.” I grabbed her by the wrist. She stopped but her body still stood in front of mine staring away.

“We’ll just got back to my place, alright?”

She stood there for another moment before she turned around to look back at me. 

“You swear.”

 We weren’t too different in height, probably stood an inch or two taller. Even with us being close to eye level she looked up at me. Her eyes bare and innocent. 

“Uh, yea. I swear.”

She sucked her teeth, “I don’t believe you.”

She turned her body away once again.

“Hey!” I held her wrist a little tighter lightly tugging her back to me. 

“I mean it alright. I swear.”

She took a long pause before she turned around again. For a moment she simply looked at me. Studying every inch of my face. Her eyes squinted as her pupils wandered back and forth deciphering whether I was telling the truth or a lie. 

“Fine.”

+

If I dialed 911 now she would never know.

That is what I thought as she laid asleep in the room that one of my roommates once slept in. Before I could even turn onto my street she was fast asleep. I had to gather the rest of the energy I had left to carry her up to the room. I tossed her onto the bed right on top of the comforter. I heard her rustle around a little as I closed the bedroom door behind me, but I doubt she woke up. With the little time I had to myself I changed out of my work attire into a pair of black shorts and red shirt. I grabbed a Heineken from the fridge then spread out on the couch in front of the TV.

“Let’s see if a games on.”

I never really made it a note to keep up with the NBA schedule unless the Bulls or Wizards were playing. When LeBron ran across the TV screen I took a long chug on my beer, put down the remote, and got myself settled. 

“Good enough.”

But honestly it wasn’t. My thoughts were all over the place, and I couldn’t concentrate on the game. My mind was on other things, but the sound of the TNT commentators and the noise of the arena were soothing in the background.

I remembered how Kat always complained I was a pushover. When we would argue, I’d apologize before she could get too mad. That meant apologizing even when I knew she was wrong. She’d huff and puff for a few minutes but after she’d have no choice but to let it go.

“Be a man!” She shouted one night in the heat of our most biggest argument.

It had started up from something minuscule. That day while I had been at the office she texted me a sad face followed by,

“Today’s terrible.” 

It made me smile , and I planned after work to stop by her place to cheer her up. I had stopped by her favorite local burger joint on my way over. I made sure to put extra bacon on her burger because I knew she liked that when she was upset.

I really didn’t come their ready to argue, but magically shit turned left.

Everything was good, she curled up beside me on the couch picking on French fries. She was watching some shitty Lifetime movie that I’d been paying no mind. My hand played up and down her side while my chin rested on the top of her head. Her hair smelt like berries and cream, and some other shit like that.

Everything was perfect.

“What if I was cheating on you?” Kat asked innocently.

I blinked uncomfortably, but my body didn’t flinch.

“What made you ask that?” I peered over at the TV screen. All I saw were some white teenaged girls that were pregnant. Not a person cheating in sight

“I don’t know,” she puffed irritated.

“Just answer the question.”

I thought about it for a second, but couldn’t come up with anything to say.

“I don’t know.” I finally mumbled against the top of her head as I pressed my lips against it to give it a kiss.

“You don’t?” She sucked her teeth.

Uh oh, wrong answer.

“You wouldn’t feel anything? Mad, sad, jealous?”

I continued to stare at the top of her head, but I remained quiet.

 “See! That’s the problem!”

Kat rose up from my side and turned out to look at me. My eyes were gawking, her anger had thrown me off guard.

“Babe, calm down, it’s not that serious.” I said confused by her reaction.

At that she rolled her eyes. “It’s never that serious. Do you even take me seriously? Matter of fact, do you even take us seriously?” 

“We’ve been together for two year Julian. TWO! Your roommates are moving out and you still haven’t asked me to move in with you.”

I stared at her, apologetic. “I didn’t know you wanted to move-in.”

She let out a deep sigh. Now she was sitting up straight as she pushed her brown hair to the side away from her eye.

“That’s the problem, you never fuckin’ know.”

Now she stood up, pacing. “You didn’t know I wanted us to move in together, and you sure as hell didn’t know I’ve been cheating on you for two months.”

My face scrunched up, confused but still infuriated.

“What did you say?”

“OH, you heard me Julian! I said I’m fuckin’ someone else. Now how do you feel?”

I jumped up and quietly grabbed my key from the coffee table. My shoes were at the front door.

“Where are you going!?” She yelled.

“Home.” I stated simply. I had instantly lost all energy to yell and argue.

“That’s it Julian?” She rushed over to the front door, fuming as I laced my shoes.

She laughed hysterically, “You can’t even face me.”

I glanced back at her walking around in a circle. She suddenly stopped and walked closer towards me. I quickly stared back at my shoe laces.

“Be a man!”

“Be a fuckin’ man, and for once say what the fuck you feel!”

My jaw clenched in anger, but I still didn’t turn around to look at her. She stood their staring me down, waiting for me to yell back in anger. When I stood up and turned the door knob she spat,

“You ain’t shit!”

I had never heard Kat curse like that until that night.  We didn’t speak for weeks, and though we hadn’t said it; I thought it was over. She had been the one to finally call me out of the blue. 

“I really want to see you. I hate not seeing your face.”

I didn’t say anything, so she eventually hung up.

That night she stood there waiting at my doorstep. She didn’t say a word, but her body connected to mine instantly. We stumbled through the door, down the corridor, up to my room. My shirt flew from her hand and her romper fell clumsily from her feet. Both our breaths were heavy as we guided each other up the stairs. Sloppily we meshed each other’s mouths against one another.  

We didn’t speak.

We were rough and unapologetic. Her nails were gripping deep into my back while our bodies smacked against one another in a fast rhythmic tempo.

It was brief. 

We both laidback with space between us as we laid on top of the sheets. There no cuddling or caressing of one another’s bodies. We didn’t even look each other in the eye. We laid like that for an hour until she silently stood up and grabbed her trail of clothing putting them on one by one.

She left without another word.

After that the argument was over. We went on as if everything was fine. We never brought up that night again. 

I had known for a year that Kat and I were over. I’d called it my pride, but Kat was right. I was simply a pushover.

“I’m hungry.”

The sound of Ava’s hoarse voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I hadn’t even heard her footsteps as she came down the stairs. 

I guess I had to forget about the police for now.