“And where have you been?”

My heart beat faster in anticipation of what was going to happen next. I was supposed to pick up my little brother Bobby from his elementary school but after the incident with that imbecile I had gone to the grocery store and basically blown all my allowance for the week on junk food, sat in the car I proceeded to eat through a whole tub of ice cream and half a packet of chocolate bars until I was pretty much nauseous.

By the time I thought to pick up my brother from school it was already thirty minutes past his home time. Usually Bobby would be outside by his teacher’s side impatiently waiting for my car to appear, so it had been strange to find the playground empty and my brother nowhere in sight. After going into the school’s main office, Bobby’s teacher had informed me that my mum had come and picked him up when I didn’t turn up.

“I-erm I-I had to do some last minute assignment-and-and-I needed some help from my teacher and-”

The words got stuck in my throat as her hard hands descended unto my cheeks. Tears welled up in my eyes but I blinked them back quickly. I’d only just be asking for more otherwise.

“Don’t fucking lie to my face Luciana, your school called me to tell me you missed sixth period and then I had a call from Bobby’s school whilst I was at work telling me he still hadn’t been picked up!”

Even though I was taller than her by about five inches, her hawkish eyes cutting into my tattered emotions, only made her seem just that more Goliath-like.

“I’m sorry mum it’s just the kids at school-”

“Look Luciana I don’t want to hear any more of it. Just remember that when you go about doing whatever you go about doing that makes you forget your responsibilities, remember I’m the only one that pays the bills to continue accommodating your fat ass, not your dad, not you, but me. Now get away from my sight.”

Without another word I trudged up the stairs wearily, letting the tears fall loosely from my eyes as I made my way to my room. My dad would have made everything better, I thought to call him but then I did not want to bother him with my silly problems. Countless times I tried opening up to my mother about the situation I was facing at school but she would just simply wave me off. It's as if she did not understand that bullying happened beyond the playground and still affected me the same way as when I was younger.

Forty five minutes after sulking a little in my room I got changed into some oversized t-shirt and some grey long bottoms and went back downstairs into the kitchen. My brother was sitting down in one of the high stools round the kitchen island. As soon as he saw me he jumped out of the chair and circled his small arms around my waist- well, tried to.

“Why didn’t you come and pick me up at school today?” he asked me in his cute innocent voice stretching his neck to look at me with his light brown eyes.

My heart melted, my brother was my heart and his cheeky grin never failed to amuse me. My facial expression faltered at the thought of paying for butting Buttbag’s car. I simply didn’t have the money and my mother was out of the equation, I still hadn't figured out how I was going to confess to her of the day's events.

“Lucy why do you look sad?” He asked dragging out the ‘a’ in ‘sad’, scrunching up his more-observant-than-he-should-be face at me.

“I’m not sad Bobby, just a little bit tired. Go watch TV while I make us some Mac ‘n’ Cheese.”

Hearing this he shouted out an approval before running to the living room. The boy had energy for days.

Fifteen minutes later, we were plopped down on the sofa watching reruns of cartoons with our cheesy meals on our laps.

“Bobby, it’s your turn to say grace,” I said bowing my head.

“Dear Jesus, thank You so much for this yummy, yummy food and we ask You take all the bad germs away. Please let mummy be home more and please let my sister Lucy be more happy. Thank You again Jesus. Amen.”

“Amen.”

The hospital needed a nurse to fill in for the night shift so my mum had gone. I smiled in content as I gobbled down the food, knowing that I wouldn’t have to respond to anyone’s orders.

I paused to look over at my brother to see him giggling at the TV. Half-way through eating I couldn’t enjoy the food any longer. Thoughts of the name calling, the disgusted looks I’d get- I couldn’t get them out my mind. I was just one big, ugly, fat mess and that was enough to put me off the food. For a little while at least.

“Am I pretty Bobby?” I asked my brother allowing myself to wallow deeper in self-pity.

Without hesitating he said whilst proudly flaunting several missing teeth, “You’re my beautiful big sister. You’re the best!”

Silly tears dripped down my cheeks. He was too young to realise the essence of those words but it still had the desired effect.

“Lucy what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked hopping off from the chair and walking over to my side.

“Nothing Bobby. These are happy tears. See?” I said showing him my tear glossed face bearing a semi forced smile.

His short arms wrapped around me as I half-sobbed half-laughed on his shirt whilst his small hand went to my back in a slow, soothing, circular motion. Finally letting go of my brother I asked, “Where d’you learn to do that?”

Shrugging he replied, “You give hugs when people are sad.”

“Thank you Bobby.”