Who I am 8

The clouds hanging over Putra were heavy and dense. Daniel looked up at them from her new accommodations at the Öküz mansion. On clear days, her room was charmingly bright and airy. The tiny mosaic patterns that littered the walls were blue and honey dew with mandarin accents. In it was everything to satisfy her needs and her desires, if she'd had any. Ceiling to floor windows designed to capture every drop of sunlight graced a full wall. Today however, everything was grey, just like Daniel.

She had yet to recover from the realizations associated with her predicament. Voda she tolerated with silent compliance. Mir she had affection for and so obeyed without protest, but was subdued. Sevgili was always a source of great encouragement and kindness. Her respect for him deepened with each encounter. 

Faza...Faza she would say she despised if she could, but she couldn't. His betrayal was bitter to her heart. He kept a watchful eye on she and Kurt's training and progress. He pushed and lectured adroitly, but she caught glimpses of his troubled reaction to rejection at times. Kurt was a different story all together. She had disgraced him in front of everyone when he tried to help her. She had stung him badly. She should beg forgiveness yet she avoided him whenever possible. Surely he was tired of her now. Annoyed with her antics, wished that she only fulfill her duty as the vessel of Caninae.

After crying until nothing was left that day, she had gone along with Mir and Voda to provide her body sustenance. Mir had been extremely patient. Voda uncharacteristically quiet. Mir had begun filling in the gaps.

Caninae is a fox demigod of the goddess of love Freya. Caninae herself has 'kits' which she creates according to the will of the gods. Mir, Nana and most of the mates of the bloodline of Yalnız were vessels of Caninae's 'kits'. They are called kits after the offspring of foxes. Daniel was different. She was the vessel of Caninae herself, making her selection as a foreigner rather unexpected.

As to the convergence, this took place when a chosen vessel was assimilated with one of Caninae's kits. A vessel was always chosen by the gods and there has only been one vessel to defy them. She did not love the bloodline of Yalnız and she was condemned by the gods. She was Faza's wife Enin. Daniel had the right to choose condemnation as well if she wished. With her emotions riotous and mind wondering purposeless, Daniel wasn't sure which was worse, condemnation or imprisonment.

You are not imprisoned Daniel.

"How can you possibly say that?" Daniel had gotten used to Caninae's voice through training with Mir. She had gotten used to many things about Caninae over the last few weeks.

There is nothing you can not do, nowhere you can not venture.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this but, what about the will of the gods?"

Of course we must fulfill it.

"What is it exactly?"

Destruction and repression of those the gods have denounced as unworthy.  

"Des...I don't understand at all." Her head thudded back against the window frame where she sat.

How can you not understand. You have met Buthidae.

"Buthidae?"

The two headed scorpion beast. He attempted to take your life.

Daniel's eyes rounded, "you mean in my dream? But that was just..."

He meant to destroy my vessel before convergence. 

Daniel's hand began to shake as she held her thumb to her lips, "I have to kill that?" There was silence. "I can't do that!" She sprung to her feet, "not to mention...it was real?" She squatted in the floor and whispered, "I'm going to die, I might as well defy the gods."

Who do you think I am? Caninae's words raged within her mind. Daniel held her head.

"I don't know you!"

Fare enough. Then I will show you.

Instantaneously, Daniel found herself hovering near the ceiling in a large open gym. Her stomach churned at the involuntary suspension. But her attention was soon drawn to the two people grunting and barking down on the ground. They wielded swords as they lunged and pushed each other across the floor. Neither wore a shirt and their muscles flexed and retracted, gliding smoothly under their sweaty glistening skin.

"Kurtarcını! You fool you are dangerously distracted!" He swung his weapon and whacked Kurt in the side of his torso who then flopped down on his butt. "And I just sliced you open like a piece of raw meat." He caught his breath, "probably severed your spine too." 

Kurt sat hunched and labored of breath with his eyes on the floor.

His companion looked at him with expectation, then rolled his eyes and began to turn around, "for the love of God, why have you summoned me here Tawny?" Still nothing. "If I had been even a minor dark beast, I'd be chewing on your heart about now."

"I'm sorry."

"And all of this hunching of the shoulders and walking around like death warmed over for a girl. Does she posses a velveteen vice for a p..."

His companion was lifted completely off the ground by a smoldering Kurt. He was flung an inhuman amount of feet back where he collided with the wall. Kurt launched after him in the air and landing astride him, held his neck flush to the wall. "You watch. Your. Words Benoît. I don't care if you are the blood of Primul, I will drag you to the gates of hell and throw you in myself." They flared at each other eyes combative then Benoît's countenance changed and a smile spread across his handsome face.

He lifted his hand, "where was this passion when we fought? This is the blood of Yalnız!" He smacked Kurt in the shoulder and laughed triumphant. Kurt shrugged him off and left him.

"She hates me."

"Then she's a fool." He waved it away.

Kurt turned and glared, "Benoît she is not. She is." He rubbed his hands together, "she is wonderful. When I first saw her I got goosebumps, me. She's...but she has Caninae. It's all my fault."

"This is exactly what I hate about the gods. It's not your fault. Whether you had invited her to lunch or not they would have united you somehow. Though the way it happened sounds very amusing." Kurt laughed in response. "This is the gods being all godlike. This is deadly dull and boring," he whined mockingly, "no one is miserable. Let's make it interesting by choosing a chick from Canada..."

"United States."

"...to liven things up a bit. Trip him up. Give him a silly name..."

"Really, I don't see what's so bad about the name Kurt." Daniel whispered.

"...bash him with a stone." He laughed

"It was a pebble you idiot." Kurt chuckled.

"Sink his pride and joy in the Danube." Benoît fell backwards in hysterics at the one.

"I really like her." Kurt sighed, "she's the only woman I've ever liked this much and she won't even look at me."

Benoît let silence fall, "what about Tina?" Kurt reached for something to throw.

That is enough.

"What? No wait. Who's Tina?" Daniel flailed her arms and legs to stay but found herself in a wooded area.

Did you not see the strength of Yalnız? You will fight with him and for him.

A strange sensation trickled through Daniel's body. Her eyes darted through the trees.

You have sensed it.

A few seconds after, something stepped in their path. It reminded Daniel of a prehistoric ostrich. Scales covered its head but for a few feathers at the top. Large claws protruded from is talons and arms. One eye inspected Daniel before it twisted its head and peered at her with the other. It bared its sharp teeth. A thick scaly tail thumped the ground and it let out a raspy cry.

"What's going on Caninae?"

I'm using you as bait. This is a dark beast.

"Excuse me?"

You eat like a bird. It is not enough to sustain you let alone us both. I am hungry. 

It took a stealthy step. "Oh god."  

Recede and allow me to dominate you and I will show you who I am.

Daniel wasn't sure how, but she felt Caninae come forth and she 'stepped aside'. Her body became buoyant and her nails extended. Her depth of sight increased and sharpened and her mouth broadened. The beast dipped its head and began to charge. Caninae waited until the last moment then jumped and flipping over sunk her claws in the beast's back. It squawked as it moved away one of its wings hanging damaged. Caninae barreled at it. It tried to stand its ground by swinging it heavy tail, but she easily evaded and latching on to its broken wing with her teeth, ripped it form the beast's body.

With the claws of her feet she lacerated its belly. It snapped its teeth at her trying to get her off but it was no use. It cried in fear and pain. As it went down she grabbed its head and twisted it around pulling it right out of the neck. After a few spasms the carcass sagged and she dropped the head to the ground. Dark vapor rose from its remains and Caninae absorbed it. As she did, Daniel felt her own energy increase, her mind sharpen and her muscles loosen.

Now you see who I am. Fear me and know, you do not fight in your strength alone.

Daniel was trembling inside Caninae. The scene was both horrific and exhilarating. Caninae fed off its fear, fear she purposely inflicted. She felt its desperation, it's desire to live, but she also felt its hatred and desire to be the one to destroy the vessel.

Do not pity the beast Daniel. It would not reciprocate. It would tare you apart and consume your life spirit with relish. Remember this, if we do not destroy them this is how it will be for all humanity.

Daniel couldn't stop trembling. How could she do this. She didn't like squashing roaches, and she hated roaches. She swerved around squirrels and stopped traffic to move turtles out of the street. What could she possibly contribute to Caninae? Why had she been chosen? 

Now, I will feast.

"But you absorbed the dark vapor."

An appetizer. The life force is but a part of its energy. You may wish to block it. 

Daniel shut her eyes on instinct more than in obedience. She heard the sound of bones splitting and cracking and chewing. She then tried to think of something, anything to drown out the sound of flesh being torn apart and consumed. This was happening in her body. Her hands where ripping, her arms pulling it apart. Her body gaining sustenance. She curled up inside of Caninae and wished to be completely numb. 

Finally, it came, the silent bliss of unconsciousness.

~~

It took a day to get over the incident with the dark beast. Not because of any stress to her body, but her mind. It had been stuffed in a blender and puréed. She couldn't fathom why the gods would think she was capable of ingesting all that happened and maintain her sanity. But maintain it she had...barely.