Why I feel like sharing this is beyond me but I feel led to. Okay so here goes... *takes deep breath* (btw, this is EXTREMELY personal, I’ve never shared it with anyone and yet... here I am bout to type it on a global platform 😣)

I am scared to date. I’ve never physically dated anybody before (online once and it wasn’t a bad relationship but it was steeped in sexual things so it didn’t last long) and I put up the CITY OF JERICHO wall around myself any time a man expresses interest.

Why you may ask? Well...simple. I don’t want a man to ever get SO close to me that he has the chance to hurt me the same way or worse than my biological father did. Him not being there crushed me as a child and I grew up not trusting men at all.

So...*takes another breath* Yeah. There it is. I’m scared of being hurt so I don’t allow myself to be open and vulnerable. But... the beautiful thing is... even though I am scared of men in the world hurting me... I never EVER fear that God the Father would ever hurt me. So... I’ve gotten to know Him and pray I never stop.

Who knows why I’m typin all this and now I feel like cryin lol. Sooo.... hope that helped someone. I love Jesus Christ yes. I am a Christian unashamedly yes. But I am NOT nor will I ever be perfect. Yes, I struggle too. And YES I hurt too.

Soooooo yeah y'all might be askin "Uh... so what does this have to do with the story and GIRL WHERE IS MY UPDATE lol. If you haven't noticed, writing has remained a therapy for me and through it (and other things) I believe that God has healed me of a lot. <3 Rae is an extention of me and in a lot of ways I have related to her story in some ways personally. The fear of letting Hiroto back into her heart after such a crushing betrayal....finally allowing him back in and as of now almost at the end of her honeymoon (oops did I spoil that LOL) So, not only are the characters healing for me to write, this AMAZING God Given story is a source of healing as well. I trust and believe that God WILL work out my knots and kinks too so I too (if in His will) can have an everlasting love <3 Just wanted to share.

2, I AM WORKING ON A DOUBLE UPDATE Y'ALL LOL. OKAY lol. I got one chapter down and am having THEE hardest time writing this next one. It seems as though as with Accordance, there were times where it was like pulling teeth and it was so hard to write. I wanted to, needed to but just couldn't.

As always, you all are like family to me so I want to include you in as much of my process as I can. What would you like to see/read in the coming chapters? Keep in mind that your suggestions are very much welcomed and that our beloved story will YES be coming to an end unfortunately... *sob*

Okay that's enough rambling for one post! Keep me in y'all prayers, goin through intense warfare in the personal life and I will be praying for you all as always! Love you ladies (and gents should you be reading)! *KISSES* <3 

P.S- If you notice the formatting is awkward, misplaced or just plain weird, please know that is it NOT my own doing. When I transfer my work here, perfectly edited to my liking, the site messes the handiwork up LOL. Which frustrates me highly. BUT... some formatting issues, I just simply cannot work around guys. Thank you for understanding <3