October sixth.

The PST was now two weeks away and Faith was feeling pretty good about it for the most part. However she found herself tired all of the time from the little sleep she got on most nights. The lack of sleep coming from her recurring nightmares about the hell that Howard gave her all those years ago.

Perhaps it was because Faith was actually trying to achieve a goal and all of her nightmares were stemming from her insecurities.

When Howard was still alive he did everything in his power to let her know she was no better than the gum under his shoes and it made her insecure. Why did it feel like Howard was still controlling her from beyond the grave.

“Jamison you missed a spot”

Faith looked up from her mopping to see Ron stamping his way onto the deck with muddy boots. Faith knew he was doing it on purpose because she had already mopped that area a few minutes ago.

Not saying anything Faith simply took her pail of water and mop and went to clean it up. Some of Ron’s cronies who were watching the ordeal chuckled. Sure enough as Faith placed the pail down and picked up the mop to begin mopping Ron kicked the pail sending all of the soapy water spilling all across the floor.

“I guess you missed that too”

“What the hell Ferry---“

“That’s Chief Petty Officer Ferry to you Jamison and don’t you forget that”

“You did that on purpose!”

“An order is an order princess” Ron said “you better get used to taking orders if you want to be a SEAL”

“Ferry what’s going on here?”

Conrad made his way over to them with a concerned look on his face

“Nothing to worry about Ramsey just a seawoman who doesn’t know how to take orders” Ron said “go on Jamison get that mess up”

“I don’t think so,” Conrad said “Jamison come with me we’ll leave Ramsey here to clean the mess that he made”

“Whoa Ramsey you can’t be serious I am Chief Petty Officer---“

“You’re also abusing and taking advantage of your position” Conrad said “I wonder what your father would think of that”

Ron grunted at Conrad and took the mop reluctantly from a very confused Faith.

“Let’s go talk Jamison” Conrad insisted

Faith followed Conrad over to one of the tables in the mess hall; she wasn’t exactly sure what to think about it. Faith knew that wouldn’t be that last shit she’d have to take from Ron that man’s ego was too fragile for that.

“Petty Officer you didn’t have to do that”

“No I did” Conrad insisted, “Ramsey is an asshole are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine”

“You look tired,” he noted

Faith nodded not wanted to dwell on the issue and simply replied, “I’ve been busy”

“I know you have; how’s your training coming along?”

“Okay I guess” she said honestly “I’m feeling a bit anxious about the PST though”

“What do mean?”

“I don’t think I’ll pass; I keep having these thoughts---“

Faith stopped herself before going on she knew why she didn’t think she’d do well and it was the insecurities from Howard reaching out to her even from beyond the grave.

“What thoughts?”

Faith looked up at Conrad and the concerned look on his face took her by surprise and she shook her head no

“Okay you don’t have to tell me that’s fair” Conrad said “but whatever’s holding you back you shouldn’t let it get to you because I think you are PST material”

“Thanks”

“Four-forty five”

“What?”

“Boone, Yeager, and I are going to be up early tomorrow right on the track” Conrad explained, “you’re more than welcome to join us”

“Oh” Faith replied taken back by surprise “I’ll think about it then”

“No pressure” Conrad reassured “don’t think too hard about it though”

The following morning it was a rather chilly fall morning but Faith still found the strength to get up. True to his word Faith saw that Daniel and Anthony was sitting in the stands. As she approached them Faith was wondering why Conrad was taking such an interest in her all of a sudden.

Faith recalled that Conrad wasn’t too thrilled about her taking the PST at first and the two of them weren’t exactly friends and not much acquaintance. Was there something in Faith that Conrad found likeable? She didn’t want Conrad prying too much into her life she decided to keep it at a professional level.

“Jamison!” Daniel greeted “nice of you to join us this morning!”

“Yeah” Faith replied, “um thanks”

“Somebody is being pretty modest this morning” Anthony added “from what Ramsey had been telling us you’re in the running for passing the PST”

“I don’t toot my horn that much” she insisted

“I think it’s time you start tooting it Jamison”

Faith turned around to see Conrad walking up behind her

“We’re going to start warming up” Daniel said “you two catch up when you can”

“I hope you’re well rested” Conrad said once both Daniel and Anthony made their down the track

“For the most part” Faith said not sounding too convincing

“You didn’t get much sleep again?” he said concerned “then why didn’t you just sleep in?”

“I still have to train don’t I?” she challenged

“True” Conrad replied “but little to no sleep isn’t going to help with your training Jamison you and I both know that”

“There’s still another two hours and forty-five minutes until wake up call it’s not much but it’s something” he insisted “go back to your cabin and get some shut eye”

“No I want to train” Faith said stubbornly

“You can train tomorrow morning” Conrad said “after you get a good night’s sleep”

“I’m fine Officer---“

“Then tell me the reason why you haven’t been sleeping well”

“It’s….it’s nothing” she said rather quickly and Conrad swore that if she were Pinocchio her nose would be growing inches away from her face right now.

“Not a good enough reason now off to bed with you”

“But---“

“That’s an order Jamison” Conrad said firmly

“I bet I could outrun all three of you!” Faith said defiantly acting childish now

“I bet you could but there’s no way you’re doing it this morning” he said dismissively

Finally giving in Faith gave Conrad a pissed annoyed glare and made her way off the track field and back to the cabins.

Usually when Conrad gave Faith an order it was because he simply told her and that was a done deal. However this time Conrad gave the order out of care and concern; it didn’t come off that way but inside that where it was coming from. He was concerned about Faith.

Who the hell did Petty Officer Conrad Mitchell Ramsey think he was and what game was he playing at? He was the one who invited her to train with them this morning.

As soon as Faith said something about her lack of sleep Conrad shooed her away like she was a damn child.

“Ramsey can be such an asshole sometimes” she grumbled later that morning as she was doing her chores with Leah close by

“I’m going to have to side with him this time Faith” she said, “you need sleep I mean you wouldn’t do the PST without a good night’s sleep would you?”

“No” she said

“Speaking of which have you been feeling okay lately? You seem to have nightmare almost every night now”

“They’re nothing serious” Faith insisted

“If they aren’t serious why do you get so upset over them?”

“Let’s just say it’s something that I left in the past but it seems to be catching back up with me”

“You want to talk about it?”

“No”

Faith plopped the mop across the deck once more it seemed like this deck was forever a mess. Although she was annoyed with Conrad right now she was thankful for him standing up for her when Ron was messing with her the night before.

She fucking hated mopping with a passion.

“Sir I’m hungry” thirteen year old Faith said she had been cleaning the house all day without a bite to eat while Howard had himself fixed in front of the television.

Howard was cracking up to reruns of Sanford and Son with a huge bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and what looked like his fourth bottle of Heinkein.

Faith made her way into the living room and when Howard looked up from the television screen he frowned at her.

“Is there anymore chicken left?” Faith asked nervously “I’m really hungry”

“Oh really?” Howard taunted her after a loud belch “that depends you done mopping that kitchen?”

“Yes the fourth time---“

“Don’t you sass me girl” Howard cut her off as he got up from the couch “I’m going to see if it’s clean right now”

Faith followed Howard to the kitchen for inspection once more and once more she was hoping that he would finally be pleased with the clean floor this time.

“See it’s clean---“

“Did I fucking say it was clean?”

“But it is” Faith said she knew better than to argue with him but she couldn’t help how hungry she was.

Howard took a swig of his Heinkein and much to Faith’s horror he kicked the pail of dirty mop water and it spilled all over the kitchen floor stripping it of it’s clean state once more.

“Mop that up again” he grunted at her “that sure as hell don’t look clean to me”

“Hey Faith you’re turning in pretty early” Yazmin said “it’s movie night in the hall”

“I’m fine” Faith insisted, “I have to get up early---“

“Let her sleep” Dominique said butting in “maybe she’ll get all of her screaming out by the time we hit the hay”

Faith threw Dominique a nasty look right back as she watched her exit the cabin.

“Pay her no mind” Leah said, “you get some sleep okay”

“Thanks Leah”

Once the rest of her cabin mates exited the room Faith threw her covers up to her shoulders and while sleep didn’t come easily and quickly it still came. Hopefully her demons would leave her be tonight. Howard Patterson still had a hold on her from beyond the grave.