The most beautiful smile I ever saw…

“The most beautiful smile I ever saw was on January 19th, 2015. As the rest of the Earth went on spinning on it’s axis allowing others to continue on with their lives, mine was at a complete stand still. I still remember the way my breath caught in my throat as I marveled at the beauty that was him. His smile only made up a portion of the package and my gaze trailed up to his eyes as they crinkled with joy; happiness shining in those lovely green eyes as he doubled over from a joke. He was majestic… Breathtaking even. To say I fell in love right then and there would be an understatement. I dived in head first with no regrets.”

My eyes flickered down to my hands clasped in my lap and I slowly began to wring them as the memory flooded my mind. I almost lost myself within it before I was quickly pulled back out and found myself back in the drab washed out room.

“Annabelle?”

I rapidly blinked my eyes and sat up straighter in my seat.

“...I’m sorry, what was the question?”

“If you could go back to that day, is there anything that you would do differently?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I wouldn’t change a thing.” I looked up in time to see her furrow her brow as she scribbled furiously on her notepad, her pen pausing only for a second before it returned to abusing the paper.

“And why wouldn’t you change anything about that day?” She had finally stopped writing enough to look at me.

“Why would I? I saw the love of my life on that day. Granted, I didn’t meet him but I found him. What is that saying,” I tapped my knee as I raked my mind, “knowing is half the battle?” I looked up as she nodded her head at me. “Right. So, now I knew who I was meant to love and I was determined to have him feel the same.”

“Did you not care that he was married?”

“Should I have?”

“I suppose it is more of a moral and ethical thing to not covet someone else’s life partner.”

I cocked my head to the side as I stared down the woman adjacent to me.

“Covet..Riiiiiiiiiight,” I drew the word out as my eyes flickered up and down her appearance, “You’re judging me,” I smiled as the words passed my teeth leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

“Anabelle,” she spoke in that irritatingly calm condescending tone that I hated. Ya know, the whole ‘I am judging you but I am not going to admit to judging you’ tone. “I am not here to judge you, I would never do that. I am just here to talk with you.”

I straightened my neck and eyed her notepad.

“Look…” I ran my fingers through my hair as I let out a sigh, “We can not choose who we love or why we love them. In life, you are lucky to even have one person love you the way that I did him. He was the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel that I thought only existed in perfect worlds and Disney Movies. You need to understand that I did not see his wife as anything important; she was as important to him as a goldfish is to a petstore. She didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she was in the way of me getting what I wanted. Nothing more, nothing less.” I carelessly flicked a piece of lint off of leg as I finished my sentence.

“Is that why you killed her?”

I slowly removed fingers from my leg and folded them in my lap.

“Hm?”

I slowly lifted my head to allow my gaze to pierce her at her very center.

“Are we really going to talk about this again?” The good mood I walked into this office with was deteriorating at an exponential rate due to this woman’s innate ability to not ask about matters that do not, and did not concern her.

“Anabelle, you know we have to. You’re falling back into your violent ways and we just want to ensure that you are not a threat to your safety or anyone else's.”

I sucked my teeth.

“Smack one girl with a serving tray and all of a sudden you’re right back to high risk,” I mutter under my breath as I lean back into the over stuffed sofa.

“A little louder Anabelle,” she leaned forward as she attempted to hear me.

I rolled my eyes.

“I said, ‘yeah that’s why I killed the bitch.”

“I don’t think that’s what you said.”

“Then why the fuck did you ask,” my harsh voice cuts through the room.

“Ok. Ok,” she attempts to say calmly but there is a tremor in her voice as she scoots back into her seat,  “I know that is a touchy subject, Anabelle, I’m sorry. Why don’t we talk about Adam again?”

A smile instinctively tugged at my lips. “Is he going to be here on Wednesday?”

“Now, you know I can’t tell you that.”

I wagged my finger at her as I clucked my tongue, “You naughty Nelly, I know he’s going to be here. He never misses a chance to see me.”

She nodded as she started writing again.

“But back to my Adam. I watched him.... And since I was watching him, naturally I had to watch HER. The more I watched him the more I fell for him… All she ever did was take him for granted.” My skin began to prickle at just the mere of that deceitful whore. “But that just wasn’t enough for her. I was ok watching him be with her; but she could not find happiness solely with him.”

“Right, the cheating,” she mumbled as she continued scrawling.

I violently shook my head. “It was more than cheating. I tipped him off and he witnessed it all”, a small chuckle escaped my throat, “he was devastated.” My hands curled into fists.

“...Anabelle?”

“She HURT him!”

“Anabelle calm down, it’s ok.”

“She HURT him,” I leaned forward in my seat as one of my hands came down to bang on the table, “So I hurt her.”

I sprung to my feet as my arm reached out to slap a nearby lamp to the floor.

She was no longer looking down at her notepad. Now she was looking at me. Seeing me. Seeing MY pain.

“GAURDS! GAUR-” I lunged at her with my arms outstretched as the door was flung open.

She wanted details. All the details.

Why tell when I can show?

The same maniacal laugh from that night rippled through the room as my hands wrapped around her throat.