Great start!
Reviewer: jacqua43 Signed
[Report This]Date: November 09 2017 04:36 pm
I was looking forward to reading this because I love greek mythology, but I couldn't get through the first chapter. The grammar and spelling was SO hard to ignore. You seem to have a great imagination because the premise the story is great, but you need to employ a beta reader because bad grammar and spelling can pull the reader out of the story quickly.
I don't like giving negative reviews, but as writers I think constructive criticism is a useful tool to help hone our craft. If you're still visiting this site and you read this, I hope you take in the well intentioned spirit it was given.
Author's Response:
Thank you. For some time I wanted to go back and do a fine tooth comb through this story and the second. i've notcied alot of bad grammer and spelling and haven't found the time. Plus, I do want this story published so alot of this was going to be fixed and edited. Until that day comes I will be fixing it.
Reviewer: Jaye Sims Signed [Report This]Date: April 22 2015 05:56 am
I love mythology so I was very happy to find this series. However, your bad grammar & spelling are making it very difficult for me to read this - and I only finished the 1st chapter! Hopefully you improved or got a beta because this has the poential to be really good
Reviewer: Paisley Anonymous [Report This]Date: September 28 2014 02:26 pm
Great! I was so Looking forward to the sequel I had to take a peep at fanfiction, lol
Reviewer: NiaZ Signed [Report This]Date: August 24 2012 01:30 pm
So Pandia is taking Airlia to Earth to be with her human family, which is good. Ares is so stupid, you are allowing your mother to use you to hurt Zues. Wake up an smell the ambrosia Ares. I want Venus striken by some lightening by Zues.
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: August 24 2012 08:39 am
There is a song I hear in my head for this story for Pandia
by Toxic-If you can only see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfg6-4mBs6Y
It so fitting for her, I really want to read the sequel I'm looking forward to what's next for Pandia I feel so for her character. Thanks for writing a wonderful story
Reviewer: NiaZ Signed [Report This]Date: August 24 2012 07:14 am
Great chapter and story overall I'm so looking forward to the sequel
Reviewer: NiaZ Signed [Report This]Date: August 24 2012 06:57 am
what awful creatures these so called greek gods and goddesses there really demons and pure wickedness
Reviewer: NiaZ Signed [Report This]Date: August 24 2012 06:43 am
This is ridiclous she should take the baby and go!
Reviewer: NiaZ Signed [Report This]Date: August 24 2012 01:15 am
Ares should be kissing the bottom of Pandia's shoes
Reviewer: keikei2 Signed [Report This]Date: August 23 2012 04:04 am
Somethings telling me she has finally reach her breaking point.
Author's Response:
She has finally reached her breaking point...
Reviewer: Christina Anonymous [Report This]Date: August 22 2012 05:30 am
I love love this story and patiently waiting for part 2 and 3
Reviewer: Bigsix Anonymous [Report This]Date: August 21 2012 08:53 am
I am glad to see that Pandia is tired of Ares treating her like she's garbage. It brought a smile to my face when she stood up to him and I am glad that he didn't strike her. I am equally glad that she had Bellona as a friend.
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: August 16 2012 10:27 pm
PLEASE TELL ME SHE IS TAKING HER ASS TO EARTH BECAUSE PANDIA NEED A VACATION FROM IT ALL!!!! At least I hope that's this IDEA. There is just so much a woman can take. :(
Author's Response:
she does go on vacation...put not yet the idea Bellona has is different but important news for her
Reviewer: Christina Anonymous [Report This]
Date: August 16 2012 09:13 pm
Wonder what Bellona is thinking of.
Reviewer: helloWORLD Signed [Report This]Date: August 16 2012 07:17 pm
Wow, Ares messed up big time! He has a lot of work to do. Its like as soon as he gets a new child, he seems to forget about the others. I try to give him the benifit of the doubt but its hard when he's constantly doing hurtful things to those who care about him. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Reviewer: helloWORLD Signed [Report This]Date: August 13 2012 05:53 am
Just when I think Ares can't get prickesh, he does. Now he's mistreated his Airlia which is just more wrong than tits on bull!! That little girl deserves better than the oakey doke Ares. They both deserve better than you!!
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: August 13 2012 02:15 am
i am a little late to the party, but this story is awesome! i love the details & the chemistry and most of all how pandia loves airlia. thank you for sharing!
Reviewer: idriveavitz Signed [Report This]Date: August 10 2012 04:49 am
Well since you put it that way I guess I can give him a chance. It's just hard to read since you hear about cheating men and women all the time. It's even harder to read the rape scenes. I hope he understands what he has before it's gone. You know the saying. I did enjoy this chapter more so then the others. Thank you. :)
Author's Response:
I can really understand where your coming from...especially the rape scene was very hard to write but I know I needed to put it in this part of the story because there something in his past about this same situation that will be known in Part III. Rediscovery.
In this part of the story I wanted them to build something a little between them because in part two. love and war its going to be put to the test.
I need both of them to grow more...so when they do finally be together they are going to have a mature love unlike any of the other immortals relationship on Olympus.
Reviewer: Christina Anonymous [Report This]Date: August 10 2012 02:42 am
I think once Ares and Padia get closer to one another she will get pregnant by him
Reviewer: keikei2 Signed [Report This]Date: August 10 2012 01:27 am
When Ares said that his mother approved of Pandia, I knew then that was psychotic. Ares is dumb, dumb ditty!!! I am glad that Pandia and Bellona have developed kinship that became friendship because they were both mistreated by Ares. I still don't trust Bellona, but I am glad that she did apologize to Pandia. Maybe I imagined that she apologized to Pandia. Either way, cool beans!!!
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: August 10 2012 12:57 am
Ares you are a asshole and I hope that Venus gives the God version of a veneral disease. Pandia is an odd immortal she reaches out to her husbands babies momma. Bellona's mother is Hera? Hera made Ares marry his half sister, so I guess incest doesn't mean anything to the Gods. I wonder what will Ares say when he finds out the Pandia has befriended Bellona. It's about to go snap, crackle, pop again. I am so happy to see an update to the this story, Thank you!!!
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: August 09 2012 02:45 am
Ares needs medication, because these psychotic episodes are not good Pandia or Airlia. The sex is obviously good and Ares is developing feelings but he deny it all of his days. Ares is punk who allows his mommie to think and feel for him. Pandia will get pregnant when Ares admits that he loves her and not a moment before. Where is Zeus? Zeus and Hera both suck as parents and I don't see how Zeus continues to rack up all of these babies mommas. Ares is just him, there is no hope for any of these so called Gods!!!
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: August 07 2012 10:45 pm
As with all the Gods and Goddessess stories, when it comes to Hera..I'll always root for her. Zeus has never and nor will ever be...hmm..don't what the word I'm looking for is, maybe redeemable...how can all his faults just go by the way side no clue. He disgusts me. I suppose the only innocent in this story is Pandia, but even so...geezel pete!
Reviewer: brown_mocha Signed [Report This]Date: August 07 2012 06:55 pm
A few updates ago I was beginning to soften my stance on Ares, that has ended. I hate him and wish that Zeus would fry his ass with some ligthening bolts. Hera is nothing but a dried up old biddie who needs to pay for the distruction that she has raught. Yay!!
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: August 03 2012 11:44 pm