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Title: Chapter 2

You should reconsider not re-editing your work.  I read as far as 3/4 of the way through the first chapter before I stopped.  There is at least 1 simple gramatical error in every paragraph.  Simple things like plurals and past or present tense.  It it difficult to read when I have to mentally correct your word choices just for the story to make sense.

 Reviewer: Dinndee Signed starstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: August 24 2015 05:16 pm
Title: Chapter 2

Love it

 Reviewer: lilsunseeker Signed [Report This]
Date: August 24 2015 02:48 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

loved it!!MORE!!

 Reviewer: silentwriter Signed [Report This]
Date: June 08 2013 02:08 pm
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

You get 50 billion points just for using Jimmy Q! Ah I love him!!



Author's Response:

hahha Ah. I love Jimmy Q. His sexiness can not be described :)

 Reviewer: chocachocacandyland Signed [Report This]
Date: June 07 2013 04:22 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

The person who you have chosen for Ailyanna is so beautiful . Very good start so far. Can't wait for their first meeting. 

 Reviewer: Amaya Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 02 2013 09:21 pm
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

loved it!

 Reviewer: silentwriter Signed [Report This]
Date: May 31 2013 04:40 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

Dang Sergei looks delish :)



Author's Response:

the sexy jimmy q.

 Reviewer: LadySade Signed [Report This]
Date: May 31 2013 04:20 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

love the pics

 Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 31 2013 03:57 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

I emailed you!!!!

 

Love the beginning!



Author's Response:

Hey thanks. I emailed you back you were really sweet. Taking it all in and hopefully you will see results.

 Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 31 2013 02:43 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

Me likey!!!

 Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 31 2013 01:33 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

Very nice looking cast so far

 Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 02 2012 01:08 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

love the build-up. please continue the story!

 Reviewer: katie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 01 2012 06:17 am
Title: Chapter 1 Cast

Finally Woman that has dark skin...Love the pics

 Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 31 2011 05:01 am


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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.