Reviews For Skin Deep
Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

Brenda...Ophelia's death cut me deep...I knew something was going to go wrong during the delivery...but I never imagined it would result in Ophelia's death...I'm actually quite raw right now...maybe her and Raymond's love for one another was not to be understood from outsiders...but love each other they did...even if it was not the conventional kind of love most "sane" people would imagine...I hurt for baby Justice...never to know her mother's love for her...never to feel her comforting arms around her...never to have her guidance in her life...I weep...but as contemptible as I think Raymond is/was...he has to get his ish together for his daughter's sake...she needs her only remaining parent...I don't ever think Raymond will ever be a "good" person...it's not for me to judge...but really he is all that little girl has in the world...he and Bennie...it's so unfair for Raymond to shift all the responsibilty of raising her onto Bennie or even Abigail...for once in his life...Raymond will have to behave like an adult and be a real man and be there for his infant daughter...Justice didn't ask to be here...yet she is a reality...she's lost her mother...now she only has her father...step the heck up, Raymond, and love your daughter and for once in your life...stop being so damned selfish and think of HER...hope he listens to Abigail and seeks grief counseling...and professional help in general to find out why he was so fixated on a child that he would toss aside social mores and know her in a biblical sense when he had to know how not right that was...this is messed up...but I hope that there is some silver lining in Ophelia's death to help heal the sickness that is so pervasive in that relationship...

Even though I was happy for Bennie and Keisha...I know it is merely the calm before the storm...Bennie has yet not grieved the loss of his birth mother...I know he was trying to be strong...but he has to deal with Ophelia's loss too...

This is such a wonderful story...socially and ethically ambiguous and challenging...but I trust you so much as a writer to make some sense of the madness...



Author's Response:

Beleive me, it was hard to kill off Ophelia.  Me and My muse had a knock down drag out about it that left me exhausted.

You are right about Bennie and Keisha.  It's the calm before the storm.

As soon as I finish my project that is due on the 29th, I will be updating so thanks for being patient!

Reviewer: attheritz Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 15 2013 05:23 am

Title: Chapter 1 Facing Facts

Now I don't normally review, but this brought me to my KNEES! I cried throughout the entire chapter. I did not see this coming, I know most people did not like their relationship, but I was hoping for some form of happiness for them; even if the had to struggle. I have to say your an amazing writer, I have read a lot of stories on the net and very few can make me cry like a baby. Hopefully Raymond gets it together, so that Bennie can let go. 

Can't wait for chap 12!

Reviewer: Foxy Anonymous [Report This]
Date: June 14 2013 11:02 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

Yeah! They finally had sex AWESOME! 

Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 14 2013 08:41 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

I still can't get over Ophealia and Raymond's relationship... so... ODD!! ahaha

Reviewer: chatty504 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 14 2013 01:02 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

I'm still crying. Poor Ophelia.

Reviewer: Happy2bNappy Signed [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 03:53 pm

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

OMG.....I am soooo shocked.I was not expecting Ophelia to die,didn't see it coming at all.Though I guess Raymond deserves this grief......There was definitely no happy ending for Ophelia and Raymond.Even though Raymond is depressed,I think Raymond should step up and take Justice's responsibility cuz he's already missed being a father to Bennie.Great chapter as always.



Author's Response:

Raymond needs to get his act together for sure.  More is coming!

Reviewer: zoe zoey Signed [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 08:13 am

Title: Chapter 1 Facing Facts

Ok first off I have to say your truly a gifted writer. This is one of those stories that is so unique and well executed that just sticks with you. As a fellow writer I'm thankful to read really good work like this as I'm learning and geting inspired from seasoned writers like you. ;) 

With that being said, this chapter was hard for me. And not so much because of Ophelia's death although that I didn't see that coming and it was sooo sad. That was actually bold and brilliant on your part because Raymond was so hard-headed and unrepentant of his actions. There was really nothing that could reach him except Ophelia's death. Now he'll face what's he's done and hopefully learn something.

The part that hard for me is that ok, so you have a underlining comedy in this story. Some of this stuff is REALLY funny. With it's exaggerations and crazy situations and the character's reactions (like "he replied dryly") Hilarious!

And I usually love it. But I felt that comic undertone in Bennie and Keisha's first time together left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe it would have been better if you left this chapter off where Raymond visited his sister. That would have given us readers a little time to breathe and grieve the loss of one of your main characters. 

But the whole restaurant scene was funny and light-hearted and I could picture it playing out in my head but not really being able to get into it. Because I'm still in shock over Ophelia death and Raymond is suicidal and the poor newborn innocent baby. At that moment even though it's always nice to read about Kevin and Alicia budding romance; at that time it was a little annoying. Like when you just receive some horrible news and someone is trying to tell you something funny that happened to them at work. Again this is just my reactions, it could just be me. 

And then the other part about Bennie and Keisha's first time.. I mean it really didn't bother me that they finally did. I mean congratulations! Poor Bennie had permanently blue balls although I'm glad they took their time and waited. But I felt the mood while they were intimate was little odd by the funny moments in it. It sounded like a real life couple which is great but I dunno it would have been nice if it would have been more emotional and passionate considering the circumstances.

I get that Bennie was going through the motions and hasn't really grieved but it seems like a missed opportunity to make their first time really moving. Not that he had to show signs of grieving or anything like that but even if he would have shown himself maybe numb or distracted... anything to show that he's human. Those 2 parts of the chapters just seem a bit mismatched to me.

But other than that, another fantastic chapter. Thanks again for letting us in to the awesome world of your characters. Keep up the good work. :)

-p2p-



Author's Response:

Thank you for your honest review.  To tell you the truth, I was sort of numb from killing off Ophelia that I needed to go to something else, which I guess is why i'ts a little disjointed.  Sorry about that.  Some people think that Bennie is unfeeling, which he is not.  He left Plainfield and went home to Manchester trying to get back into the normal 'swing' of things because he didn't want to deal with his grief.  The thing going on between Alicia and Kevin was a needed distraction for him.  He set Kevin up as a funny joke, not realizing that his friend's feelings would be hurt behind it.  Even though Kevin and Alicia may have gotten together afterwards, Kevin still feels like Bennie threw him under the bus.  Bennie is distracted and doesnt realize that he's hurt his friend.  As for Keisha, she can see that Bennie is off his game and she hopes that her giving in (sexually) will help him because he's grieving and she knows this.  True it was a bit of a distraction which made him be able to act as if everything is fine, but trust me everything is not OK.  Bennie is hanging on by a tread. 

Thanks for your long review (I like those) which is why I responded in detail.  More is coming!

Reviewer: partial2passion Anonymous [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 06:33 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

I started reading with much trepidation. And when she started complaining about a headache, I was getting more and more scared. This was stunning, but very well done. Poor Justice has lost her mother. And then to have Raymond as a father. Poor baby. Abigail was right, Raymond made this baby and he needs to be the adult for once.

You did a really good job with what you wanted to say. No hate from this corner. This is your story, you tell it the way you want. I can deal. It's interesting to see how past decisions set certain things in motion.  I guess it's called consequences.

Looking forward to the next update. Sad chapter, but mixed with some light-heartedness.  Well done, Chica.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!  Raymond has to accept the fact that he can't control everything and now he has a daughter to raise...alone!  More is coming!

Reviewer: BellaChica Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 05:47 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

Now I know why you're hiding... All I can say is WOW.. First, Game of Thrones turned my world upside down, now this...SMH!!!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much Lady T.  I really wrestled with this chapter.  I know some people wanted me to off Raymond, but I need to play with him some more!  Stay tuned!

Reviewer: LadyeT Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 05:32 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

I have to say that I truly did not see that coming....but I am not mad at you. This is the first time in the story I have been able to feel any kind of sympathy for Raymond. I know it all seems hopeless, but I hope Abigail is able to get him the help he needs so he can be a father to Justice. Raymond is really lucky to have family that will support him even after everything he has done to them.

Bennie/Keisha and Kevin/Alicia are all kinds of cute. I can't wait to read more about them. I am worried about how fast Bennie seems to have gotten over everything. He seems to have bottled everything up and that can only end badly. Maybe he should go with Raymond and get some help for himself. 

I hope you don't stay in hiding too long, but I understand why you'd want to. Hope to hear from you again soon.



Author's Response:

You guys are the best!  Yes Bennie is sucking it up and holding it in.  He can't go on like this and something is bound to cause him to break down eventually.  Stay tuned.

Reviewer: SuperStar2577 Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 03:47 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

I adore Keisha and Bennie. I see wedding plans in their future.

As for Ophelia, why her? If anyone was going to bight the dust then Raymond sure earn it.

And Brenda, I don't hate ya. You've earn a break for your consistant updates. You'll be missed but I be here waiting for you.

Author's Response:

Thanks. I just felt that Raymond had to suffer a bit more.  I didn't want to kill him.  Will he change his evil ways now that his Sugarcakes is gone?  Stay tuned.

Reviewer: juno Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 03:04 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

I didn't want Ophelia and Raymond together but I sure didn't want O to die.  Now Raymond is falling apart, but Raymond what you had O was all kinds of wrong.  Now the man wants to punk out and kill himself becasue the world is against him.  Wake Raymond what you did to Ophelia was disgusting and immoral you raped a child then took her child and gave him to your sister.  I wouldn't feel to bad if Raymond offed himself but Justice does need her father.

Keisha broke Bennie off a piece and it was good!!!  Alicia is a stalker in the making and I am not happy with Bennie for setting Kevin up that way.  Kevin get to know Alicia more before you do the horizontal mambo.   This was great as usual!!!                        



Author's Response:

LOL  PM, Bennie didn't put them in the bed, they did that on their own.  Ah when Raymond can't control things, he goes off the deep end.  LOL More is coming.

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 02:28 am

Title: Chapter 1 Facing Facts

You must have magical powers!!!You made me sad for a pedophile--Ma'am you are truly gifted. I really hoped that Margie would the one to bite the bullet because she truly sold her family out. I could echo every one else's sentiment about Ophelia dying but it's not necessary. You are one of my favorite writers.   BTW Bennie & Keisha crack me up--LOL when Keisha said "i've had better"--love this story. Thank you for always creating a world that I can't wait to experience.

Peace

M.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review.  I was afraid I was about to be crucified by my readers and I had a knock down battle with my muse who is battered up a bit, but still standing strong.  LOL  I tried to lighten the mood because I was in a funk behind Ophelia, and it may not have come off too smooth, so forgive me for that.  More is coming.

Reviewer: mya Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 01:47 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

Wow. Ophelia is dead I never saw that coming. I feel like Bennie was robbed of a real relationship with his mom. I am so. Happy Bennie finally got some. Keisha is funny. I am on the fence with Alicia she is so aggressive.great update.



Author's Response:

Bennie and Ophelia kind of made up when she called him for help after Raymond got sick.  When Raymond got outed by Margie, they were even closer.  As for Alicia, she is aggressive but more of that story is coming also.  Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: Acdromance Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 01:42 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

I would like to lie and say I didn't see this coming, but I can't. When you said Raymond wouldn't get his happily ever after I guessed that either he or Ophelia would die but DAMN I didn't think it wouldn't happen so quickly. Great job of Abigail stepping Justice does not need to lose another parent. I really feel sorry for Raymond.



Author's Response:

Raymond  has totally fallen apart with the loss of his "Sugarcakes".   Now he has to be a father to Justice who looks just like her mother while the media is watching his every move.  More is coming!

Reviewer: denishae Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 01:27 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

How awful ! Poor Ophelia, she was happy only for a short moment. I cried and cried for her and sympasized with Raymond. Am I the only one to notice how Bennie is not particularly touched by Ophemia's death ? He seems affected as a mere relative, and not as a son who lost his biological mother. How sad...



Author's Response:

Bennie is holding it in.  With Raymond falling apart and his mother sick, he's trying to be the strong one.  However everyone has their breaking point even Bennie.  More is coming!

Reviewer: Peanut Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 12:52 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

Dayum didnt see that coming! What a emotional chapter! Cant wait to see what comes next



Author's Response:

Thanks.  I really struggled with this chapter, but more is coming!

Reviewer: Cali2mt406 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 13 2013 12:18 am

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

Killing a main character. . didn't see that coming.



Author's Response:

I know.  I know.  My muse is bruised up with me fighting her, but she won out in the end.  More is coming!

Reviewer: 1nadali Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 12 2013 11:51 pm

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Sobbing* Ophelia, I can't be believe it. I love that character she was finally going to have her family. OMG, WHY??!! You are so mean, Brenda1257 :(

It's a good thing I love your story, I won't stop reading. LOL!!! Please post soon, until then I am soo sad, lol!



Author's Response:

I know, I know.  I wrestled with this one.  I didn't want Raymond and Ophelia to ride off into the sunset.  If Raymond died, then who would be the evil one.  Sorry, but I want to play with him a little longer and make him suffer.  LOL  Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: sweetlooking218 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 12 2013 11:39 pm

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

GREAT UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!I just can't believe you killed Ophelia. I know alot of people did not want Raymond and Ophelia to be happy in the end because of Raymond and I agree, what he did was dispicable, but since then Ophelia  has grown up and was married to the man, so if she could get over it, it was no one else's concern or business. Horrid past aside, they really did love each other. No matter what type of love one thought it was. So, if they were to live out the rest of their lives peacefully that would be a horrible thing? Happy endings just don't happen to good people as most would like to hope and believe. That thought process is false and naive znd that person is not living in the real world. Some people have happy endings whether they deserve it or not. Abigail is right Justice needs her father and frankly so does Bennie. So Raymond thinking about committing suicide is very cowardly of him, but he has never been in a position that has brought him to his knees, literally. Out of all that has happened Raymond must know that he cannot control everything. I still wish Ophelia was alive, but hey, it is what it is.

Bennie and Keisha sittin in a tree, k i s s i n g, lol you know the rest. Bennie and Keisha are so cute together and they love each other. Kevin and Alicia are a trip, lol!



Author's Response:

I really wrestled with this chapter, but I wanted Raymond to suffer loss.  You are right.  Many people don't understand their relationship, but Ophelia made choices and I'm not talking about the 11 year old.  In the end she got what she wanted and she was truly happy.  She and Bennie had come to terms to a degree and more of that is coming out in the next chapter.

Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 12 2013 11:32 pm

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

First I would like to say I see why the statement was that you are going to hide.

OMG! I did not see that coming.  I know you said to brace myself but damn it didn't work I was still baweling like Raymond. I so did not see that coming.

Now Raymond wants to do off with himself he is cut deep.  Gay is going to get him some help though and I hope he accepts it.  Justice needs her Daddy her Mommy is gone.

Ophelia already told him to get his shyt together to raise his daughter and he already has forgotten due to his grief but she wouldn't be pleased not at all.  Damn she didn't get to raise her first baby completely and now she didn't even get to see or hold this one :(....I will miss her.

Kei and Ben have finally did the do.  I wonder if this has opened the flood gates and they are going to be hot on each other and they were each others first too oh yeah it's on like popcone.

Alicia and Kevin mmmm hot tommolies I hope they work out.

Well that's a wrap for me going to lick my wounds cause he have hit me hard with this update.

Thank you for updating.



Author's Response:

LOL Kat, I hadn't considered Bennie having some of Raymond's obsessive traits...hmmmm

Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: Thundakat Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 12 2013 11:21 pm

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? Damn poor ophelia!!!!!! Im speechless!!!! Really glad about bennie and keisha and kevin and alicia though. i wonder if  bennie is gonna be as possessive and crazy with keisha as raymond was about ophelia. i know kevin will be totally gone lol!!! more please..........

Reviewer: brownskingurl Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 12 2013 11:19 pm

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

Reading your stories i feel like i know Ophelia i cried with Raymond... You are an GREAT AUTHOR THANK YOU .. Update soon....



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!  I'll be out of hiding soon.

Reviewer: alex Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 12 2013 10:55 pm

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

This chapter made me cry. I can't believe how real these charaters have become to me. My heart hurts for Ophelia who was screwed over from the very beginning. I feel like she payed the ultimate price for the actions of two selfish people. The way I feel about Raymond at this point is I don't care if he kills himself. Let him drive off a cliff. But the only downside is Abby will be terribly hurt and she's already got a heart condition. I think Justice will be better off being raised by Bennie and Keisha. Abby has health issues and I think Bennie would take responsiblity for his sister if he has to. What can I say about Bennie. Ophelia's death is going to hit him and hit him hard. He's going to wish he'd made amends with her while she was alive. The woman may have been off balanced but she clearly loved him. Her relationship with Raymond wasn't his place to understand. It was Bennie's job to give Ophelia the support she needed and help and gently prod her to get the help she needed. Now it's too late. I'm sure he did what he thought was best but how he treated her will haunt him for the rest of his life. I know it wasn't his fault and eventually he'll come to realize that Ophelia made her own decision but hopefully he'll use this as a life lesson to always show the people you care for in your life you love them because tomorrow is not promised. 

I don't think you need to go into hiding. This is a good story and you have the right to tell it how you please. I will keep reading as long as you keep writing, looking forward to the next chapter. 

Reviewer: Happy2bNappy Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 12 2013 10:50 pm

Title: Chapter 11 A Baby Named Justice

Wow, did not see Ophelia's death coming, I was rooting that she'll get her happily ever after, to nurture baby Justice.   Since she was robbed off of Bennie, I was hoping that baby Justice will be her redemption, but her plight of mental imbalance was now done.

 

 

Reviewer: Jojo Anonymous [Report This]
Date: June 12 2013 09:22 pm



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