This story is very dark, but I really like it, because I know in the end Kensington will prevail over Stan without laying a hand on him.
My only question is...who is the voice? Is it a ghost or is it Kenzy's alter ego.
I am giving you a 10 because she finally got that A-hole at school off her back!
Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 01 2015 02:37 am
Violent for the sake of being violent. If there was a point to the violence, or any realism to it it would be different, but there isnt. Might check it out later to see how it goes but this needs some serious thinking over.Reviewer: nikol Signed [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 12:06 am
Hello, great story thus far, I think you should keep it as is. I think authors can sometimes dwell too much on the past and take away from the current characters. I am itching to find out how you are gonna work the love interest in since you said it won't be supernatural. I have faith in your writing so I'm sure you won't disappoint.
Reviewer: love2read918 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 07:34 pm
Just cut his balls off with a dirty butter knife. That's all I'm asking.
Now, if she returns to that house.....
The important thing for me was that he verbalized his intent and plan he;s had for her all along. I don't think he's ever going to break her, but at least she heard what's been on his mind since she was little. To me, that helps her mentality in this battle of wills. She has to stay strong there because he even said that's where he's been fighting her. Make her believe she's garbage to justify his disgusting behavior. Good for Kenzi! Keep fighting and NOT believing his lies!Reviewer: flikchick Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 06:33 pm
this is would be my first review on this story, and let me tell you: i'm really loving it, and getting fully invested into this! Why? it's very different from other stories. I mean how dark it is and how she basically isnt with blood relatives as well is another huge difference. It's her bloody step father who is a sadistic pedophile who needs to be taken down. I love how she will basically do anything to fight for her freedom, and now she has finally gotten away! YAY! I was hoping for lover boy to come into the picture and basically beat the shit out of the pedo, but maybe he wasnt there at that time. I hope he wasnt just watching because i wouldnt like him as a character in all honesty if he stood aside and allowed that damage to happen to her. I REALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR THEIR INTERACTION AND TO SEE WHAT HES LIKE!! because i mean right now im getting that he's basically a ride or die sort of guy who basically wants her to go on the right pathway. He doesnt seem like the type to fuck her over or anything. Im excited to read more!! so good :) loved it xxxReviewer: Gordana Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 01:27 pm
I liked it, loved it actually. I was nearly brought to tears when I thought she was giving up as I was reading this a voice in my head kept shouting 'NO DO NOT GIVE UP YOU FOUGHT ALL THIS TIME DO NOT GIVE UP NOW NO'. And a word of advice, I think you should write for yourself and write whatever it is you want to write in your story and if people don't like it then so be it they are missing out the is so much raw emotion that this story is evoking that's how I know it's good so keep it up and I am looking forward to what is happening next. Btw I agree with your boyfriend I am also emotionally invested.Reviewer: Zoleka Anonymous [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 09:57 am
Ok. Just damn near had about 3 heart attacks reading this last chapter. I was cringing so hard my ribs kind of hurt. I never experienced wanting to read something so much that I dread. It's a compliment to you... but a self evaluation of myself. Keep writing. You're really good at it.Reviewer: Calikid44 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 05:55 am
Death would be TOO merciful for that demon sonofabiotch! He needs to suffer for the fifteen year payback for Kensington's misery- tha bastard!! One thing's for damn sho'...he may need her to give him a glass of water one day if he lives at long. I hope she NEVER comes back to that house of horrors. AND I'm ready to see her 'mentor'
update soonReviewer: JV4ME Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 05:53 am
This is a very dramatic story, and what amazes me is the fact that not one adult kniows what's going on, especially at school, I hope that finally Kensington gets the hello she needs and that Demon DiesReviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 04:16 am
I liked this chapter because she fought back and didn't give up. But having been with Stan for so long without her mother and no one else, it seems it would have been easy for him to break her. She seems strong so how?Reviewer: jahchannah Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 01:25 am
This chapter was believable. I like the idea of getting rid of her tormentor without resorting to violence. Sure I understand forgiveness, which she should do to prevent becoming bitter, but she should never forget or excuse the abuse perpetrated against her. The idea that she can take care of herself says she's getting help somewhere or at some point Stan is functional enough that he is providing some type of support to keep her in clothes and fed at times. It's not clear this is the case. Why doesn't Stan kill her already? Why do her bruises go unnoticed by the school officials? Just questions that make the story less believable but can be addressed if deemed important.Reviewer: jahchannah Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 01:21 am
She had money to go somewhere else but she stayed in the house? Even if she didn't go to the safe house her "hero" had arranged for her, why not go to a hotel? No food in the house? Stan doesn't sound like the type to shop so wouldn't she always have to find other ways of getting food or is he only violent when he's drunk? Clarifying some issues will definitely strengthen the story.Reviewer: jahchannah Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 01:13 am
I'm glad Kenzie has a "hero" willing to help her escape from Stan. He cries but couldn't help? What about the past few days? What is prompting the appearance now and not a day ago when Stan was attacking her? Did she reach some magic age? It's just hard to accept with so many unanswered questions. I like the premise but currently I'm asked to willingly suspend my disbelief too strongly. But I'm still reading to see where this goes because I do think it's got promise.Reviewer: jahchannah Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 01:05 am
If he's been abusing her so severely since she was two years old, how is she even alive? And if alive how is she even functional? What other people are in her life to counterbalance this man. It seems his abuse would have started when she got older for her to be as sound of mind as she is. Otherwise, it's hard to believe.
I suppuse the fault in that lies with me and the way in which I have written i, for that I do apologize.
The abuse has been more of a progression. With the age comes the different forms. While there is not much that one can do, or should be doing to a 2 year old, negligence is still a form of abuse and that is what she suffered from and as she got older the severity of the forms of abuse grew more intense. Now that she is 17 and rapidly approaching 18 the punishments and abuse are at their peak. The only thing that that she has in her life to counterbalance Stan is the short and hazy memories of her mother. What's keeping her mind sound is that she knows that it is all that she has left and her mother did not sacrifice herself for her to break so easily. I hope this cleared somethings up for you and if it did not, comment again with your concerns. I am more than happy to answer. ;D
Thank you for reading.
- RenReviewer: jahchannah Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 12:57 am
Honestly, how does she get shoved down concrete steps without breaking something? The stairs must have been a short row because she walked about hurt but with bones intact. That part requires to me requires a willing suspension of disbelief. Otherwise, definitely a difficult to read story that grips one with sorrow. I want to see where you take this.
Yes, they were a short flight of stairs. More so the ones that lead to the entrance of a school, so not very steep or long.
Hope that helped, and now back to the top to answer your other comments. :]Reviewer: jahchannah Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 12:52 am
I really want her to kill Stan!! Stan needs to pay for murdering her mother and for abusing Kensington. She can go never go back to Stan's house ans I hope that realizes that. This is so sad!!
Aww!! Don't be sad! It was supposed to be a win for Kenzie ;D
Also, she made a life choice in the last chapter to try a different approach. :)
Hopefully her sad days are behind her.
Thanks for for reading and always commenting! You are AMAZING!!!!Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29 2015 12:40 am
I don't mind whichever direction you go, but please go... The last chapter feels like stalling...
It kinda waa but it wasn't, as convoluted as that sounds.
I started writing the same day that went up and that's what I had after about 30 minutes (I write slow). So I figured I would post it to show that I had not forgotten about this story and was in the midst of overcoming my writer's block. Sooooo, it's part of a bigger whole that had yet to be written. But as soon as I posted this I kinda sat in front of my computer the rest of the day and typed up what was good and floating in my mind. I am sorry that my blatant attempt to hold the readers of this story was so... blatant. :]
On the other hand, I do thank you for taking the time to read my story and I am hoping that you are enjoying it.
Reviewer: bookbutterfly Anonymous [Report This]
Date: May 24 2015 08:10 pm