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Title: Chapter 2

love it

Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14/11/11 07:55 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Oh yeah starting off on a very good note. Anytime you have a naked man with some beef in the first chapter......you have my vote! 9 but only because of some grammatical errors.  Please get a proof reader or editor before you get past chapter 5.

Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 01/09/11 03:01 am

Title: Chapter 2

Yeah ummmmmmmmm need glass water my mouth is dry I feel Noelle  looking at mr. Sexy ass hell naked  look like her day getting better. I like the story so far so sad she lost her mother and father and that he has a mother and father who are so cold and don't care about their children. Thanks for the update.

Author's Response: Thank You, for the review!

Reviewer: wwefanforlife Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 21/03/11 10:32 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the details! I always love it when a story has details to show me what's going on. The story sounds very good so far! Thumbs up :)

Author's Response:

Thanks SAM, I like details too. Sometime to much, I have been told ;0(!

I know these stories are not real, but pictures and detail help with the visuallization ;0)! 

Reviewer: Sam Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 21/03/11 08:18 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Loved the update. Lol, @ prime beef!



Author's Response: Thank You for taking the time to read. Yes there is lot of prime beef to be had here.

Reviewer: bayoumomma Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/08/10 05:26 am

Title: Chapter 2

update!! hahaah u leavn me hanging here girl!

Author's Response: SORRY. I know it has been a while. Enjoy. Thanks

Reviewer: Damerouge Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 19/07/10 11:20 pm

Title: Chapter 2

First, welcome and congratulations for taking the plunge.

Second, great cast.

Also, I like the story premise and setting. D.C. is different and difficult to navigate single and socially.

And of course, there is nothing like viewing "prime beefcake" in the buff, no less, unaware and un-introduced.

I can't wait to read how this embarassing moment unfolds.



Author's Response:

Thank You Very Much. I love D.C. and like to visit as often as possible. This story should be fun for both of us. I can't wait to see IT unfold myself. Thanks for taking the time to read.

Reviewer: Bluegardenia Signed [Report This]
Date: 19/07/10 03:28 am

Title: Chapter 2

I really really like it. I cant wait until you update. Great job.

Author's Response: THANK YOU very much.  :0).

Reviewer: pokerdiva01 Signed [Report This]
Date: 18/07/10 11:46 pm

Title: Chapter 2

I like. I am very impressed with this story. Please update soon.

Author's Response:

Than you. Thank You. I will try :0).

Reviewer: juno Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 17/07/10 07:56 pm

Title: Chapter 2

The Good: The is really good. I think you are a good writer. The plot seems interesting. I'd like to see where you go with it.

What Needs Work: Your formatting for dailogue is off according to what I know. I that in different areas different ways of doing dialogue are taught. So, if you are unsure of what to do for dialogue, I would suggest doing a search on writing dialogue or maybe dialogue format. Or I can even help you.

Other comments: You seem to have your own style of writing, which is good. I think it's great to have your own way writing something as long as you probably follow proper spelling, grammar, and etc. 

Also when you changing character perspectives. For example, when you the switch from your male character to your femal character. I would suggest putting in som kind of symbol to the let reader. It makes a lot less confusing, at least for me. Here are some example of breaks that I've used and seen I think:

--

-~-

---

You can even come up with your own; I just would suggest not doing anything to complicated to outrageous.

 

Well, that's all.

Keep up the good work, and this story seems interesting.



Author's Response: Thanks for reading and for the information ,will take it under advisement.

Reviewer: Flicker and Sparkle Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 17/07/10 08:03 am

Title: Chapter 2

I like it so far.

Please come back and update quickly.



Author's Response: Thank You for reading. Really appreciate you take the time.

Reviewer: Janetbd Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16/07/10 04:32 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Really like the story and look forward to the next chapter.



Author's Response: You can't wait. Neither can I:0).

Reviewer: jai03 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 16/07/10 03:40 am

Title: Chapter 2

I like the start of the story.  Looking forward to reading more.  Thanks

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to read :0).

Reviewer: Divsionred Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16/07/10 03:24 am

Title: Chapter 2

Thoroughly enjoyed the beginning.  Please continue.



Author's Response: THANK YOU for reading :0).

Reviewer: bookacholic247 Anonymous starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15/07/10 12:30 pm

Title: Chapter 2

*clapping*

Author's Response: THANK YOU :0).

Reviewer: medicateme Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15/07/10 06:24 am

Title: Chapter 2

I much say this was very good.  I like how you introduce the charcaters. 

Noelle stood there in a daze with her mouth agape she had not seen such prime beef cake in a long,long time.

This line was so funny I did a double take.  Can't wait for next chapter

 



Author's Response:

I have encountered a few pictures were I HAD TO pick up my mouth from the floor. I thought it was a good response for such a SHOCKING moment!!!!!!!

Reviewer: Cherry Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15/07/10 12:38 am

Title: Chapter 2

Me likey!!! Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Me likey you too. Thank You very much :0).

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14/07/10 11:04 pm

Title: Chapter 2

This is SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

Chel



Author's Response: Thank You.  This  :0) means a lot!

Reviewer: miquerida Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14/07/10 08:20 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Great start!! Update soon.

Author's Response: Hopefully soon ! Thank You.

Reviewer: yummy954 Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14/07/10 07:57 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Great beginning!!!  It looks like Noelle maybe just the woman that Trey needs and Trey is also the man that Noelle needs.  If not, I'll take him!!!  Looking forward to reading more.  Thank you for sharing your talent!!

Author's Response: Thank You for reading. I know a few who would take him too!!!I would trade in my model, but i need to stick to reality. Come again:0).

Reviewer: pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 14/07/10 04:33 pm

Title: Chapter 2

WoW naked ... what a start. Can't wait for more.

Author's Response: ThanK You for taking the time to read. I can't wait for more myself.

Reviewer: Stacie Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14/07/10 03:53 pm

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