I love what I read so; far typos and all, and I want to read more
Reviewer: bree Anonymous [Report This]Date: 23/04/16 09:13 pm
love it, reading more.v73v3
Reviewer: bree Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 23/04/16 08:42 pm
Bring this story back.
Reviewer: Ann Anonymous [Report This]Date: 03/02/16 04:43 pm
It was about two-thirty when I come from out the back I see him again the man that made me my personal waitress. Trying not to be bothered by this man for the second day. I decide to take my break and go to the back.
EDITED
It was about 2:30 in the afternoon, when I came from the back storeroom and saw HIM again, my new private coffee solicitor... go figure! I was determind to not let this weirdo distract me. Seeing him again made me turn around and head toward the back storeroom for my much needed 15 minute break... Thank the Lord for Labor Laws...lol.
Just a suggestion.
Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed [Report This]Date: 23/02/15 07:09 am
More c.c. (Constructive criticism)... I think u need to improve the of the characters. Meaning the guy seems irradical for an organized hitman. No the girl's personality fits her. His dialogue seems always rushed. The tone or the mood of the story should slow down, give more details of their surroundings so people can better visualize their environments/settings. This helps to slow the tale down too.
Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed [Report This]Date: 23/02/15 06:59 am
Um... Wow, not sure what other reviews have stats, but you are in dire need of an editor. I like the aggressive nature of ur protagonist (especially how he starts off as the antagonist)... but please edit, it clears slows down the flow of the story. I like this so far. Please don't hate my constructive criticism.
Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed [Report This]Date: 23/02/15 06:45 am
MORE PLEASE NWRITE MORE I LOVE THIS STORY. MY GOD YOUR A GOOD WRITER
Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]Date: 05/02/14 10:53 pm
Please tell me that you plan to continue this story because I really need to know what is going to happen between Calvino and Coffee Girl aka Kimberly. I hope you do continue the story.
Reviewer: dgreen1980 Signed [Report This]Date: 09/01/13 04:01 am
Uh, I guess someone didn't have his cup of...tea.
Hard to read but I liked it.
Reviewer: Insomniac Sioj Signed
[Report This]Date: 12/11/11 02:27 am
This is intense, can't wait for more!!
Reviewer: NiaZ Signed [Report This]Date: 27/09/11 12:19 pm
u have a lot of grammatical and spelling errors. it makes it hard to read
Reviewer: tamshipper Anonymous [Report This]Date: 26/09/11 09:34 pm
What do I think is going to happen??? hmm right about now I'm scared shitless of this man... kinda scared to find out... But I will man up and find out.. ;)
Reviewer: meme Signed [Report This]Date: 25/09/11 12:39 pm
I want to like this story, but the editting issues - or lack of editing - make it very hard going. Please get an editor!
Reviewer: Keri Anonymous [Report This]Date: 25/09/11 09:40 am
That mAn is crazy but this is a good story plz continue
Reviewer: Poppy Anonymous [Report This]Date: 24/09/11 08:09 am
That dude is cccccrrrrraaaazzzzyyyyy! But him going off on the owner was to be expected. That taking the mans restuarant was to be expected...that is how the mafia works....they take what they want. The do not ask for anything. People make the world go round! Good story please continue!
Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed [Report This]Date: 24/09/11 07:40 am
Dude has serious issues! But again...I like him. He is the Total Alpha Male. His father was just evil...he trusted no one! I hope the son learns to trust before it is too late. I am not happy about the killing, but I understand it is needed, in order to understand the character and how he came to be the DEVIL. His obsession with "Coffee Girl" is new to him and instead of being happy about having feelings for someone, he is afraid so he has decided to hate her or hurt her? He is strange....but again I like him. I like this story, but I DO NOT LIKE THE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS. PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE PROOF READ FIRST! I WILL GIVE YOU A SEVEN 1/2.
Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed [Report This]Date: 24/09/11 07:18 am
Hmmm, very strange way to begin a story, but I like it alot! Pleasel Please! Please! for the sake of this story spell and grammar check before you post. Better yet ask someone to edit your story first. It would help with the grammatical errors. If you don't want to do that, then read it out loud to yourself make the necessary changes then post it. I think doing that would say us readers the agony of trying to wade thru what you are telling us and what you are actually saying to us! I will rate this as a 7. Don't take this in the wrong way....a 7 is good....because you can go up from there!
Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed [Report This]Date: 24/09/11 07:02 am
OMG is he scary or WHAT!!! can't wait until the next chapter.
PLEASE LET IT BE SOON :)
Reviewer: Tracy Anonymous [Report This]Date: 24/09/11 01:57 am
Very interesting so far. I like the idea of this story. But I don't know how much longer I can read it with all the Grammer and spelling errors. It really makes it hard to understand and folliow where you are going. If you get that on point, this will be a great story. Look forward to the next update!
Reviewer: Kaci Anonymous [Report This]Date: 23/09/11 11:06 am
Okay...nice chapter
Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed [Report This]Date: 23/09/11 09:11 am
love this story can't wait to see what up next.
Reviewer: babytazz Anonymous [Report This]Date: 23/09/11 05:44 am