Again, I must commend you on the flow of this. It's beautiful. So glad for the backstory here and you did it so well, providing us with Rayne's thoughts over the past and leading us up to the present. I love this. :)
Reviewer: madame z Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 16/02/09 03:16 am
i cant wait to see where you go with this one. like she should talk to him. but it cant be one sided thats just not cool. how is he going to get jealous and never do anything about? like he said the last chapter those two guys dont know their together. than fix it, make it come true instead of huffin and puffin ya know? more soon - dani
Reviewer: classicbeauty Signed [Report This]Date: 09/02/09 07:03 am
She's doing the right thing. She can't wait around for him forever while life passes her by.
Reviewer: Sweet Pea Signed [Report This]Date: 08/02/09 08:41 pm
Good for Rayne to decide that she has loved Adam for so long and for him to not acknowledge her love she decides to move to another state...good for her. But will he follow her after she is gone or will he convince her to daty? I hope that she leaves and that he follows her and finally realizes that he loves her too. Thanks
Reviewer: Divsionred Signed [Report This]Date: 07/02/09 04:19 pm
I can't imagine what Rayne must be feeling. I hope Adam realizes what a gem he has in her and don't let her get away.
Reviewer: karen timothy Anonymous [Report This]Date: 07/02/09 01:43 am
Your summary caught my eye........Chapter 1 got my interest.........
Love it..........so much emotion.......
Please update soon.
Reviewer: Lykeroses Signed [Report This]Date: 06/02/09 06:40 pm
Wow. This sounds very promising! I look forward to your next update!!
Reviewer: Dragon Anonymous [Report This]Date: 06/02/09 05:21 pm
Adam is something of a hot-head, isn't he? I'm intrigued about their past relationship.
As he passed various tables, he caught the attention of other patrons seated. For some it was the rugged handsomeness of his features, others were overwhelmed by the size of his frame. Rayne had long passed admiring the physical of him. For her it was the confidence that radiated from him, the intelligence in his eyes, and his dominating disposition that made it difficult to break her gaze from him in the past but tonight after a brief smile, she looked down at the cover of the menu. If her thoughts continued along those lines she'd never get the truth out and they'd remain as they been for far too long. Reminding herself that there was steel in her spine, closed her eyes and hardened herself against the rush.
I know that's a lot to copy and paste, lol, but I loved that paragraph. Loved the flow of it. Great update; can't wait to read more :)
Reviewer: madame z Signed
[Report This]Date: 25/01/09 07:52 pm
It needed to be spaced out more. Spacing making it a lot easier to read, and helps with the flow of the story.
I enjoyed reading this piece about a couple 'finally' letting go. It's never easy to truly let go, but sometimes it's the best option.
Reviewer: Sweet Pea Signed [Report This]Date: 23/01/09 02:22 pm
You've done a wonderful job of painting your characters. I felt the passion and pain greatly in this first chpt. I hope you continue on this way.
Reviewer: cccH Anonymous [Report This]Date: 23/01/09 12:22 pm
Good start to the story but you should break it up into smaller paragraphs to make it easier to read.
Reviewer: Flikchick Anonymous [Report This]Date: 23/01/09 07:39 am
That was interesting, I hope you continue the story. I wonder if she is really leaving. Not saying goodbye is major.. not even a see you later?
Reviewer: zeta Signed [Report This]Date: 23/01/09 05:09 am