I'm very curious about what Leonardo and Roxanne's relationship will be. Ostensibly, it's master/slave but I suspect there's going to be something more to it. I'm also curious about why Leonardo can't tell Roxanne what it was that put her in the hospital (or why he allowed it to happen, at his own house, no less...) Questions aside, I really enjoyed this chapter. Very nicely done.
Author's Response: You're totally right. There is SO much more to Leo and Roxi's relationship than the whole master/slave drill but you'll see what happens if you keep reading. I want this story to be something really different and original. Please keep reading and reviewing.
[Report This]Date: 19/01/10 07:18 am
What a phenomenal opening chapter! Every word seemed carefully, masterfully chosen and Roxanne's narration is pitch-perfect. I'm already hooked, eager to read more and to learn what happened and what will happen. Outstanding!
Reviewer: EvilAngelfish Signed [Report This]Date: 19/01/10 07:14 am
Intriguing. This is not my usual cup of tea, but I want to know what happens next.
Thanks for sharing and updating.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope I can keep you interested enough. Reviewer: Cholyn Signed
[Report This]Date: 19/01/10 06:57 am
gaw...cannot wait to see what everyone looks like
Author's Response: Oh, I think you'll like it. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Date: 19/01/10 06:51 am
Good start! You are a very lively writer. Poor Roxanne, it seems that she's gone from a bad situation to a worse one. I really hope that I'm wrong.
Reviewer: Cholyn Signed [Report This]Date: 19/01/10 06:38 am
I re read both chapters and I guess I'm missing something. I'm still really confused. I'd like to hang on but I think some things need to be cleared up. Hope we get some answers soon. Thanks for the update.
Author's Response: I'm trying to keep things suspenseful. This is going to be a long story; things are going to get a little complicated. I'd appreciate it if you kept reading and reviewing. Thank you!
Date: 19/01/10 06:02 am
Loved the update but still not clear on what happened to Roxanne and looks like Leonardo is avoiding the questions. Why is that? What's going on and who is Mod???? Is he some sort of psychic or protector??? Why is Roxanne being kept in the dark??? Something is not right with this picture.
Author's Response: I PROMISE everything will be explained...eventually. Please keep reading and reviewing! I hope I don't disappoint!
[Report This]Date: 19/01/10 04:28 am
I think I figured out how Roxanne was hurt. When Leonardo put his hand on her lower back he caused her bodily harm...
Can't wait to read the next chapter.
Reviewer: Chocolate Girl Anonymous [Report This]Date: 19/01/10 04:01 am
I'm confused as hell. Hopefully things will become clear with the next chapter or two. What happened to Roxanne? Who attacked her like that? Why would they attack her like that? What's up with Mod? So many questions.
Author's Response: Stay tuned! I promise everything will be clear in time. This is going to be a pretty long story with lots of twists and turns so sit back and enjoy the updates! Thank you for reading and reviewing!
[Report This]Date: 19/01/10 03:42 am
Just so you know, this chapter was a pain in the ass to upload. I had to separate the paragraphs manually. Does anyone know how to get around doing that? It didn't happen with the last chapter...
If you are doing a copy and paste with the TinyMCE box checked you will have issues if the word count is over 6K. If you uncheck it and try to copy and paste you will have issues if you are doing so from Word 07.
Here's what I do and it works pretty well. I uncheck the TinyMCE and then I take my MS Word 97 doc and save it as a html. From there I copy it and then paste it as regular text. Now in doing so I lose my italicized text but its less of a pain in my ass. Just a suggestion.
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Now the chapter was great! A dragon? Get the fuck out of here! She saw a dragon fly by! And there are mermaids and elves out there too! Now you got me head tripping on this. I love fantasy. And I'm really confused as to what hurt her so badly if Leonardo cares. Though I think it's MOD. The girlie-boy seems to like to inflict pain.
Either way I'm strapped in and ready for the ride. As per usual your prose is something that I inspire towards. Not sure if you are aware of your talent but girlfriend you got it in spades! Keep it coming!
Minx!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the tip and for the praise! I'm glad you like it! I hope I don't disappoint. Please keep reviewing! Reviewer: Minx Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 19/01/10 03:27 am
WOW!
I'm stunned. Not sure what I expected when I decided to take a peek but WOW! This was written so crisp, so visually superb, I lingered over your prose in awe. I mean seriously, I love your style. Just awesomeness!
Now as for the story...
WOW!
I was so hoping for a better fate for her, from the moment they took her I feared it would be horrible what happened. Still not sure 'what happened' but I'm glad you spared me! Yet I didn't really get the ending paragraph...
And its by far the most compelling. So I will go back and give it a second read. This time with the TV off. The story is intriguing. I am dying to read more. I can't wait for you to give me some clues as to where she is, what happened to her, and and the woman with the children....who are they?
Please update soon!
Reviewer: Minx Anonymous [Report This]Date: 19/01/10 02:53 am
Still intrigued. Who or what is Roxanne? Leonardo seems ‘attached’ to her somehow. Why? And Mod…what is he/she/it?
Update soon.Author's Response: Just so you know, this story's going to be pretty long. Sit back and enjoy the ride! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Reviewer: JV4ME Signed
[Report This]Date: 19/01/10 12:53 am
This is really good. Intriguing. Weird (in terms of mystical fantasy, vampires, and the real world as we know it…a pulp fiction if you will). Roxanne has spunk, I like her.
Oh no, what happened?! Reviewer: JV4ME Signed [Report This]Date: 19/01/10 12:52 am
seriously, what s going on? im scared for that girl...but i do love stories like this. keep it coming. wish i knew that other site before you took this story down...so please dont keep me waiting =)
Author's Response: I have a few chapters that I'm still editing! I hope I don't disappoint. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Please stay tuned!
Date: 19/01/10 12:44 am
That was very interesting. You write very well.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I try. Please keep reading and reviewing!
[Report This]Date: 19/01/10 12:42 am
ohhh my god... this is the kind of story i have been looking for..
a lot of suspense .. and i like it... nooo correct that i love it.
you are keeping me on my tips toes here.. write more often i need to know what is going on... too much suspense..
wow you inspire me to write more fiction.
thank you. your fingertips bore a gift .. a very beautiful gift that should not be placed as a lesser thing.
u publish this story and i will be the first one to buy it.
u have a gift ..use it... to live in the moment is to live in the now...
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I haven't been able to write fiction for the LONGEST time! Now I'm trying to get back to it because my parents and friends always thought I was a great writer. I'm flattered that you like it so much. I LOVE suspense and cliffhangers! I have quite a few twists, turns and character depth in store so please stay tuned. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Reviewer: Belugasweet Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 19/01/10 12:34 am
I thought that the start to the story was good, Will you explain more about what happened to her world and how the demons are now in control over it? Thanks
Author's Response: What you're asking comes a bit later in the story. I plan on this story being pretty long with LOTS of twists and turns along the way. Please stay tuned and all questions will be answered. I promise. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
[Report This]Date: 18/01/10 09:23 pm
I LOVE THIS STORY ALREADY! CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE!
Author's Response: Haha! Thank you very much! I'm glad you're enjoying it. Please continue to read, enjoy and review.
Date: 18/01/10 08:36 pm
this is really good I would love to read more soon.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it. Please keep reading and reviewing.
[Report This]Date: 18/01/10 08:12 pm
If you could write...oh maybe 10 or so more chapters....*grin*. I love it and am really curious about what is happening.
Author's Response: Oh, I think this story's going to be pretty long. I'm glad you like it! Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Date: 18/01/10 06:01 pm
this is good keep it coming
Author's Response: I promise I will. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
[Report This]Date: 18/01/10 05:28 pm
I really don't like the slave angle, even the paranormal doesn't help me get past the whole slave thing. So Roxanne is a child at 18 who has been kidnapped for sexual purposes? Is this blonde dude a vampire or werewolf? Who attacked her? Was it dude? Was that the dude dreaming about her having his children? I would like to read more, so please continue.
Author's Response:
I'll let you in on a little secret: Roxanne's predicament isn't as bad as it sounds. Please keep reading and reviewing. Thank you!
Reviewer: pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]Date: 18/01/10 04:29 pm
Wow, I really want to know where you are going to take us, the readers threough this story. Please, write more!
Author's Response: Don't worry! I will! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
[Report This]Date: 18/01/10 03:22 pm
Oooh I'm already liking this story a lot and lookf very very much forward to more! In other words, your story has find its home =)
Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! Please stay tuned. Reviewer: Cassius_Noir Signed
[Report This]Date: 18/01/10 02:08 pm
i'm interested to see where this goes. good work
Author's Response: Thank you! Please keep reading.
Date: 18/01/10 08:12 am