Noah

Samara

Jude

Chapter 1

Noah stood outside the sleek glass structure. His baby brother had done well for himself he thought, as he looked again at the etching on the glass doors, “Mathers Motors”.  Jude was always good a fixing cars. He remembered when they were the team to beat at the annual soap box derby, in Raburn County. Every year Jude would come up with a concept that was better than the previous years.

One summer, they spent their entire break in Savannah working at their Uncle Pete’s garage, Jude built both of them a motorcycle from the scraps laying around. Uncle Pete always said Jude had raw talent, but he just needed to work on his temper. Well he did hone in his anger and now here he was, the CEO of one the most recognized motor companies in the world of rare and collectible cars.

He had been following Jude’s success for a number of years and couldn’t be happier for him.  Noah knew he was taking a chance by just showing up at Jude’s office, but he knew his brother would blow him off if he called on the phone. He wanted to see him, he needed to see him.  It was now or never, he thought as he entered the building.

If he thought the outside was impressive, the reception area was a man’s wet dream. Vintage race and sports cars greeted guests as soon as they entered the building. Maseratis, Jaguars, Aston Martins and even a Shelby Cobra. Those cars alone were worth a small fortune, Noah smiled. His baby brother was doing a hell of a lot better that he could ever imagine. 

Noah continued to look at the vintage cars until he heard the soft feminine voice behind him asking if he needed assistance.He turned around to respond but before he could, the young lady immediately began to apologize to him.

“Sir, I am so sorry. I didn’t realize that you were in the office; Diane said that you would be working in the shop for the rest of the day.” The young receptionist rambled on.

Noah simply smiled at her, “Hello I am Noah Mathers, and I am here to see my brother Jude, if he is available.” The poor girl just stood there with her mouth agape not moving.

*************

Jude was putting the finishing touches on the interior of the 1925 Duesenberg Model A Phaeton that he was working on. He wasn’t sure if this one would make the action yet. But he already had several interested buyers.

Though he had a staff of 12, he often preferred to work on certain jobs alone. It was how he often found peace. His staff knew that when he was working alone it was best not to interrupt him, no matter what. So he was surprised when Diane, his office manager stepped into his private workshop to let him know that he had a visitor. He grumbled to her to get rid of whoever it was and have them make an appointment for another day. But when she revealed who it was, he was rendered momentarily mute and paralyzed.

Noah? That couldn’t be right. He hadn’t seen his twin in at least 10 years. They had nothing left to talk about. What could he possibly want? Why was he here? If he were being honest, he could admit that he was not surprised by his twin's visit. He knew Noah was experiencing something. He felt it, and had been feeling it for awhile. They could always feel each other’s pain.

“Ask him to wait in my office, while I clean up; please, Diane.” She nodded and headed back to the visitors lounge.

Diane she was still in shock; in all the years she knew him, he never once mentioned a brother let alone an identical twin. Save for Jude’s shorter hair, they were indeed the same person; on the surface.

Jude blew out a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. “Fuck!” This was not how he pictured seeing his twin after all these years. He expected them to both be much older and grey with them having been forced to reconcile at the hands of each other’s wives and children. He moved slowly to the in-suite shower room to splash cool water on his face.  He steeled his nerves as best as he could, hoping that he would not explode upon seeing his brother who betrayed him all those years ago.

-------------------------------

Jude quietly stood in his office door watching Noah move from award to award in his massive trophy case. He had received many accolades for his impeccable work and he wasn’t shy about showing them off.

“I am proud of you brother, you deserve every single one of these awards.” Noah beamed; he was still facing the trophy case. He didn’t need to see or hear Jude to know he was nearby, he could feel him in his soul.

“Why are you here Noah?” Jude demanded walking to his desk.  But Jude continued on until he had inspected every plaque, medal, trophy, certificate and commendation.

Noah finally turned to look at his twin and was greeted with cold amber color eyes the mirror image of his own, “Invite me to sit so that we can catch up.”

“I’d rather you stand, otherwise you may get the impression that you’re welcomed to stay; say whatever it is that you came to say. Then get the fuck out of my life.” Jude tossed at his twin.

Noah stared at his brother; he knew that he deserved that and much worse. The fact that Jude had not broken any of his bones yet was a testament to the treatment he received for his anger management and other emotional trauma. 

Noah sighed, it was now or never, no sugar coating it, “Jude, I’m dying.” He revealed taking the unoffered seat in front of Jude’s desk. He watched his brother for a reaction. He didn’t see any change in Jude’s outward demeanor but he felt his twin’s distress immediately.

Upon hearing Noah’s revelation Jude too sat down. That was not what he was expecting and it completely threw him for a loop. Before he could find his voice to speak, Noah continued.

“I have Hodgkins and I am in stage 3; until recently, my body had been accepting the treatments but lately…well my body just seems to be doing its own thing.” Noah laughed trying to lighten the conversation. “So here I am. I just wanted to see you and tell you myself. The doctors have given me a year or less so…”

“What do you need me to do?” Jude asked, yes he hated Noah but still if there was some way to help his twin, he would. “Do you need my blood or something?”

“No, thank you for the offer but I am past that stage. There really isn’t anything left to do, except enjoy what time I have left.” Noah supposed, thinking about his wife Samara. “At least that’s what Mari tells me.”

“Mari?”

“My wife Samara, she has been a godsend this past year.”

“You’ve known that you were dying for over a year?” Jude asked incredulously, moving to his office bar to fix a Jack and coke; he offered one to Noah, who quickly declined.

“I can’t bro, medication and alcohol don’t mix; trust me I’ve learned the hard way.” Noah laughed, “And no, I didn’t know that I was dying until recently; but I was diagnosed over a year ago.”

“If you don’t need my blood Noah, why are you here?” Jude asked adding a very light splash of coke to his glass.

“I came to ask for your forgiveness… and I need a favor.” Noah looked at his twin, his mirror image and studied his face closely. His eyes were cold and distant. He was guarded and the fiery spirit that was uniquely his own was gone; prison did have a way of sucking the life out a person, he thought. But his Jude was a fighter and there was no way he would let that place best him.

“You must be out of your fucking mind, big brother. Forgive you? For letting me rot in jail for 3 years for a crime that you committed? And on top of that you want me to do you a favor?” Jude erupted into a boisterous laugh, nearly causing him to have a choking fit. “You’re not dying, you’re losing your fucking mind. You said what you needed to now get the hell out.” Jude dead panned.

“Listen Jude, I wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t important. I wouldn’t ask if, I didn’t need you, please just here me out?” Noah pleaded, locked in a stare down with his twin.

“You let our mother die, thinking that it was me who caused her grief all those years ago. I was banished to hell while you lived your life, as if nothing happened, you selfish fucker; and now you want me to do you a favor. The only thing keeping me from beating you into the ground right now is the fact that you have cancer. A quick death at my hands is too easy for you. I want you to suffer, just like I did.” Jude maliciously spat at his twin. “Now get out!”

Noah broke Jude’s stare and stood up unsure if he should say anything further. He started towards the door then stopped, “Twin,” Jude tensed upon hearing the endearment uttered from his brother, it was how they would refer to each other, when they were younger. They were more than brothers, they were each others, other half. They could communicate without speaking and would experience each other’s highs and lows.  

“Before momma died I told her that I was the one who shot papa, not you.” Noah whispered, “I knew I couldn’t let her die thinking that it was you. She wanted to see you.  She kept asking for you, every day until she died; she wanted you to forgive her for turning on you and not believing in you.”

Jude nursed his drink and looked at the work orders on his desk and continued on as if Noah were not there.  He remembered all those calls that went unanswered, the prodding from both Uncle Pete and his friend Russell to return home to see his mother. He had ignored those pleas to now learn that his mother died thinking that he hated her. Uncle Pete had warned him that he would regret his decision, now here he was having a cocktail with her, regret.

“Despite what you think Jude, I love you; if I could go back in time and change things I would. But I can’t. I am dying and I have accepted that, I just want to spend the little time that I have left with the two people that I love the most. That’s all. It took me 10 years to get here, I don’t have 10 more. I really want you to meet my wife Samara. I will call you in a few weeks.” Noah headed out the door, feeling a bit broken.

“Wait…” Jude hesitated, thinking on his bad decision not to see his ailing mother. “What is the favor that you needed?”

Noah reentered the office and sat down. He talked to his brother about everything that had happened in the years that they were estranged and found the courage to talk about his impending death and the favor he needed from Jude.

6 weeks later

"Russell, do we have those choppers ready to go yet? They need to be on the trailer to Las Vegas tonight."  Jude bellowed to his number two.

Russell Lewis surveyed the young man whom he had come to regard as his son over the years; He seemed preoccupied and restless these last few weeks and he couldn't quite figure out what was going on with him.

"Hey Jude, I'm the old man here, I'm the one who should be forgetting things...you just asked me about the choppers an hour ago. As I told you before everything is ready to be loaded; we are just waiting on the trailer to get here."  The older man assured.

"Sorry, Russ. It just slipped my mind." Moving back from the show room floor to his office, Jude sat behind his desk and reclined in his mammoth chair.

"Talk to me Jude, what has you so distracted, that you are forgetting things and have half the staff running in the opposite direction on your approach?"

Jude sighed re-playing the conversation he had a few weeks ago with his older brother Noah and debated whether to share the details with Russ. Russell had been like a father to him after his own kicked him out of the house and after his beloved uncle Pete past away. Up until this point he never hesitated to share anything good or bad with him. But this...this feeling he had was new to him. He couldn't yet explain it and he wasn't sure if he was ready to share.  But he knew that he couldn't keep it in much longer or else he would explode.

"I spoke with Noah, a few weeks ago..."

"Well that's a start; how long has it been?"

"Almost 10 years."

Russell let out a slow whistle, "That's a mighty long time to go without talking to your brother and your identical twin nonetheless."

"Yeah, family...you can't pick ‘em and you can't return ‘em." Jude and Russell both let out a chuckle at that statement.

"He misses you Jude, he loves you."

"Yeah, well big bro has one hell of a way of showing it." Jude screeched slamming his fists on the desk.

"Don't let what happened in the past bar you two from the only family that you have left." Russ warned, noting that Jude was now lost in his thoughts. "You both did what you thought you had to do given, the circumstances. What's done is done...don't dwell on it; don't let it keep you from moving forward and being happy.  Jude looked up at Russ and gave him a half smile and a sad laugh.

"Me happy? For as long as you've known me....have I ever been happy, Russ?

Russ thought on it a minute and gave him an earnest response.  "You are content when you are riding or racing or at the ranch; or in the company of beautiful women. But you're right. I don't think that I've ever seen you completely happy. Maybe it's because you heart is not open to it; you are still clinging to the pain and hurts of the past. Let it go son...let it go. So when the time is right, you will be open to loving someone and experiencing true happiness."

Jude sat quietly and considered Russ' words. Russ was right to some degree. It was still hard to talk about his family and his past with anyone. Luckily Russ had live through most of it with him, so he never really had to discuss it with him.

"Noah is dying..." Jude said staring into space.

Russell sat down in one of the chairs in front of Jude's desk in stunned silence.

"He came to here to see me a few weeks ago, when you were in California for the Vintage Muscle Car Auction." Jude picked at the lint on his jeans and sighed heavily. "He has Hodgkins....and his cancer is in stage 3. His body has not been responding well to the treatments and the doctor has given him a year to live." Jude finally looked up at Russell, with regret and sadness in his eyes as he continued, "He wants to spend his last...the time he has left ... he wants us to be brothers again. I don't know what to do? I am not sure if I am ready to forgive and forget."

"Jude..." Russ started, surprised at the quiver in his voice. He loved both boys and watched them grow up as different as night and day. Noah, honored as the favorite son, local football hero, scholar and all around good guy. While Jude was relegated to second born, rebel without a cause, hot tempered trouble maker. Russ knew that that couldn't be further from the truth. Once Jude found a way to release his anger and channel his energy, he discovered a talent that he didn't even know he possessed. He always love working on cars and had often worked with his uncle Pete in his garage. But it wasn't until a chance meeting with the owner of a 1956 Mercedes roadster that changed Jude's life forever.  Jude was a true artisan at classic car restoration and an astute business man. Russ watched in awe as Jude transformed Pete's repair garage into a classic car emporium. They had so much business, that there was a yearlong wait list just for a consultation; and their client list read like a who's who in entertainment, business and royalty.  Russ was proud of all of Jude's accomplishments and  always knew that he was destined for great things.

"Son, he's all you have left. And just by coming here to talk with you, well it shows that he really needs you now." Russell reasoned.

Jude laughed to himself, wishing that he could share all of the reasons for his brother's visit.  Selfish to the end Jude thought but didn't say it aloud.

"He's married now too, and they live in South Carolina; but I bet you already knew that." Jude said giving Russell a knowing look.

"I've never hid the fact that I keep in touch with Noah, I love him just as much as I love you. You just never wanted to hear about the goings on in his life."

"And there is a reason for that dammit..." Jude roared.

"Jude, he's your only family. Think on that before it's too late."

"Family? Family? Fuck family. My big brother, my twin, my family stole 3 years of my life from me and now he wants me to forgive and forget because he's dying. He only wants a clear conscious so he can go sing with the angels...fuck that...fuck him! Let him suffer, let him suffer just like I did in that hell hole for 3 fucking years." Jude screamed, gathering the invoices on his desk and storming out of the office.

Russell knew when Jude went to that dark place it was best to let him have the moment and work through his frustrations alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure about this Noah?" Samara was concerned that her husband was perhaps setting himself up for a huge disappointment if his brother rejected his pleas of reconciliation.

"In all honesty, I am not sure Mari, but I have to try. I can't...I can't die knowing that my brother, my twin, hates me. It has haunted me for the past 10 years and now, I may not get the chance to make things right. I know that I can't undo the past but I have to make amends. I have to at least try."  Samara took his hands in hers and gave them a gentle squeeze, "Then, I'll be right by your side each step of the way." Was her promise to him and she leaned in to give her husband a kiss.

"Thank you, I love you." Noah looked into her sparkling sienna eyes and saw the love that beamed through. It was in those moments that he felt guilty for not marrying her sooner or starting the family that they always talked about. And now here he was living with the big "C". His wife was a trooper, she managed his care with love and efficiency and never let him get down in the dumps about dying. On his brightest days he felt like a rock star, alive and full of energy.  But on his dark days, he could barely see the way forward. He loved her, he truly did and it pained him when he was diagnosed with his cancer, knowing that she would also suffer with him, not so much physically but emotionally. He knew that they would not be the same once he got his diagnosis, not because of his possible death, but because he knew the dynamic of their relationship would change. It already had. They had not made love in almost a year, as the task itself often left him physically exhausted. His medications and treatments sometimes left him unable to function sexually and that too added to the draught. Samara never complained and did whatever she could to assuage his guilt. But he knew more than anything she wanted a baby, his baby and regretfully he could not give her that. Not now, not ever.

"We should go in then...even though Jude isn't expecting us?" Samara asked still holding her husband's hands.

"I gave him six weeks to call and he hasn't. I told him that I would be back regardless if he invited us or not." With that Noah eased out of his seatbelt and exited the car and moved around the car to open Samara's door. She gave him a reassuring hug before they headed into the building.

**************

Jude continued to work on the 1961 Jaguar XKE trying to forget all of the horrible memories that flooded his mind over the last few weeks. Damn Noah to hell for stirring up all of the unpleasantness. After years of therapy at Uncle Pete's insistence, he had it all neatly stored away and only visited that place when it was absolutely necessary.  

Jude was under the hood when he heard the sound of chatter getting closer to his workshop. He knew that only him, Russell and Diane were still in the complex, it was early afternoon on Friday and most of Jude's staff had left to get a jump on the weekend. "Summer Fridays" was a small gesture that the staff loved.  He appreciated the staff that he had, they worked hard and they were loyal. Jude found that a happy staff was a productive staff; so he rewarded them often. Because the complex was virtually empty and he didn't have any consultations scheduled, his curiosity was peeked.  

Noah and Russell entered the workshop chitchatting like two high school girls. Jude didn't know who he was more annoyed at, Russell for his blatant display of disloyalty or Noah for showing up again unannounced.

"Look who I found hanging out in the visitors lounge." Russell remarked ushering Noah into Jude's private work space.

"Jude, this is amazing." Noah gushed moving around the nearly completed car. "Is this for your personal collection or is this a job for another collector?"

Jude folded his arms over his chest and shot his brother an intense look. "I told you that I would call you, when I had made a decision."

"I know, but Mari had a conference here this week and since she is out for the summer, I told her that we'd make a vacation out of it." Noah continued to ogle the Jaguar as Russell pointed out all the original features of the vintage auto.

"So you decided that I would be o.k. with you just showing up here again?" Jude uttered through clenched teeth.

"I thought that we could have dinner together, Russell do you have plans for the evening, please join us?" Noah offered.

Jude sent Russell a warning look and the older man excused himself to his office.

"You waltz back into my life after nearly 10 years of being absent, drop this shit in my lap and you expect me to do what exactly? Welcome you  back with open arms? Pick up where we left off? Agree to your ridiculous request?"

"No Jude, what I expect is for my twin to help his dying brother find comfort and closure before dies; that's all. I know that my favor is an unusual one, but you are the only person that I can trust to see it through the end. Please help me, we...Samara and I really do need your help." Noah moved closer to his brother, "Will you at least meet Samara before you say no? Have dinner with us later?"

"Noah...I..."

Before Jude could  utter his thoughts, the words died on his lips. His heartbeat speed up as he was suddenly captivated by the stunning bronze beauty hovering just outside the workshop door.

Samara debated whether she should interrupt the brothers in the middle of their exchange. She was taken aback slightly when she looked into the work room, the man in the coveralls looked exactly like her husband save for the shorter haircut that he spotted. She knew Jude was Noah's twin brother, but still it was a surprise to see  that they actually did look identical. Seeing them together for the first time was a bit uncanny. Jude spotted her before Noah did, and pinned her with those amber eyes that she had stared into a thousand times on Noah. She couldn't explain it, but the look he gave her sent a shiver down her spine and fluttering in her heart.

Noah sensed the change in Jude's demeanor and followed his brother's eyes to the door.

"Mari, honey, come in and meet Jude." Noah insisted.

Jude gasped slightly upon hearing that the beauty was Noah's wife. Staring into her dazzling sienna eyes, had hypnotized him; he was completely under her spell.

"Jude, this is my wife Samara, Mari this is my brother Jude."

Samara extended her hand to Jude, "Jude, finally we meet; Noah has told me so much about you."

Jude shook her hand and shuddered at the contact. It felt like a thousand bolts of electricity just rocked his body. Samara felt it too, as she quickly withdrew her hand from his. She couldn't stop staring at Jude and he didn't seem to mind as his eyes were equally glued to her.

"I am sorry, I don't mean to stare, it's just...I knew that you two are twins but I wasn't expecting..." Samara rambled.

"I know, we look exactly alike." Noah chimed in. "Honey, work your magic, convince Jude to have dinner with us later."

"From the looks of things, maybe you can fit us in for dinner... tomorrow?" Samara asked motioning  that he was still working on the car in the workshop. "We know how busy you are and how important your work is to you, so we would hate to keep you from your obligations."

Jude racked his brain for an excuse, but he couldn't find a believable one. "I have plans for tonight, but... Noah I will call you tomorrow afternoon to let you know what time works for me."  He rushed out, he had to get out of here. "Russell, Russell" Jude bellowed, shutting the hood of the Jaguar and packing up his tools.

Just as he was about to yell for Russell again, the older man came rushing through the door. "Where's the fire?"

"Yeah, um I have to get to ah...that...ah client meeting. So could you lock up here." Without another word to his brother or Samara, Jude left.

Noah exhaled heavily, "Well at least he said yes to dinner, which was more than I expected."

Russell patted Noah on the shoulders, "Give him some time, Noah. He'll come around."

"I don't know Russ, I hurt him pretty bad. I don't know if he'll ever forgive me."

"You have to think positively, honey. " Samara assured Noah with a hug.

"Come on, let me take you two on a tour of the facility. Jude has done  a fantastic job in building this business; Pete would be so proud of him. The trio moved from car to car and eventually into the cold storage vault where some of the more valuable and specialty models were kept. 

Jude sat in his office in silence. He had been watching  Russell's  impromptu tour on the security camera feeds in his office. He wasn't ready to make nice with his brother. And  he was shaken by his immediate attraction to Samara. She was beautiful. Her smooth bronze skin was glowing and her thick ink black mane in soft waves, was the most sensual thing that he'd ever seen. Her smile had him willing to agree to just about anything and the energy that past between them had both his heart and his thoughts racing.

"Shit, this is no good; get your shit together Mathers. Samara is off limits. She's your dying brother's wife."

Yet, his thoughts drifted back to those beautiful eyes and her silky voice.

Jude was still pacing on the patio as he considered his next move in dealing with Noah. His twin seemed determined to get what he wanted and was willing to endure whatever Jude threw at him to get it. He was loathed to admit it, but he admired Noah's courage to seek him out and ask for forgiveness. He wasn't sure if the situation were reversed he would be brave enough to face his twin. 10 years had passed since they behaved as brothers and he'd often wondered what their relationship would have been like if they weren't estranged. 

Jude sat down on one of the loungers and drained the last of the Dos Equis that was now warm in his hands.  He hadn't slept well last night and even this morning's horseback ride along his sprawling property didn't seem to calm him. He considered canceling dinner yet again, but instead just sat back and thought about what he wanted to say to Noah.

His thoughts then drifted to Samara. He had chastised himself a hundred times last night for thinking about her. He didn't understand what he was feeling; hell he was only in her company for all of 5 minutes, but it left him feeling anxious and nervous and he hated it.  Seeing his twin after all of these years was torture enough;  then Noah throws in his illness and impending death; learning that his mother had ask for him until her death; and now her, Samara. He exhaled a deep breath, it was too much. He racked his brain as to why he invited Noah and Samara out to the ranch for dinner, instead of just meeting them at one of the trendy restaurants that had sprung up all over Savannah.  Perhaps it was because he didn't want any distractions, when he told his brother that he couldn't grant his favor.

He was interrupted from his musings when Mille stepped on to the deck. The slate stone area looked more like an outdoor living room and had all of the comforts one would find indoors; flat screen TV, gourmet outdoor kitchen, fireplace and enough seating for Sunday morning worship.  Though Jude rarely entertained at the ranch or dated, he always wanted to make sure that his guests were comfortable and that they felt welcomed.  He always wanted a big family and had enhanced the ranch over the years in anticipation of the day that his big family would show up and claim him.

"Jude, I think that your guests just arrived, should I bring them out here or do you want them to wait in the sun room?" Millie, his housekeeper asked placing a picture of orange lemonade on the patio bar. Millie had been with him ever since Uncle Pete passed; she took care of both him and his homes.

"Thanks Millie, out here is fine, it isn't too hot."

Millie checked the bar once again to make sure that everything was perfect and left to greet his guests.

*****************

Samara couldn't understand why she was so nervous about having dinner with Jude. Noah was beyond thrilled when he called and invited them to the ranch for dinner and she was happy for that. She hoped that her husband would get the closure that he so desperately needed. She knew that Noah's past actions had plagued his mind and had left him guilt ridden and alone.  When he was finally able to tell her about the death of his father at his hands and how he let Jude go to jail for it, he was so overcome with emotion and grief that he cried for several hours.  She held him close and encouraged him to release all of the pent up frustration that he kept bottled up inside. That moment lead Noah on his quest to make amends as best as he could with Jude.

"Wow, when Jude said his ranch was just outside Savannah, I didn't think he meant he owned a small town." Noah exclaimed as they made their way along the long winding path that lead to mammoth river rock structure. "Whoever designed this is an architectural genius."

"The arrogant architect is actually complimenting some else's work? I think that maybe a first." Samara teased. Noah laughed but she was right. He was good and he knew it. It didn't help that he was a highly sought after architect due to his profound historical knowledge and his incredible ability to incorporate both old and new concepts in his designs.

Samara and Noah continued to admire the ranch house until they were greeted at the door by Millie. Noah hadn't seen Millie since he was about nineteen, and she still looked the same. Tall and thin with her long grey locks tied in a knot at the nape. Her grey eyes slightly watered at his approach and her thin pink lips were curled up into a smile.

"Millie," Noah choked out, "It is so good to see you." He gave her a big hug that she returned.

"Noah, look at you....and who is this?" she asked pointing in Samara's direction.

"This is my wife Samara, Mari this is Millie. She used to take care of us when we spent our summers here in Savannah with Uncle Pete."

"It is so nice to meet you Millie." Millie immediately moved to embrace her. "Noah, married...now if we can get just get Jude out on a date all will be right in the world." She teased, "Come in, Jude is out on the patio."

Mille ushered Noah and Samara into the house and chatted about their lives as they made their way to through the house.

**********************

Dinner had been a relatively quiet affair. Samara tried her best to engage both Jude and Noah but it had been a strained effort.

"Thank you for having us Jude, dinner was delicious." Samara smiled in his direction, sipping on her glass of Viognier.  "Millie said that most of the vegetables came directly from your own garden?"

"Yes, I have a small organic patch...of sorts just behind the barn over there." Jude answered, shifting the food around on his plate. Samara said the meal was delicious, he wouldn't know, he had only taken a few bites.

"You're a rancher, a farmer, art collector, real estate mogul, you restore vintage cars...is there something that you don't do brother?" Noah asked light heartedly, while finishing his last bite of the roasted lamb.

"I like to stay busy..." Staring at his brother, Jude somberly replied, "It keeps my mind of off... stuff." He didn't need to elaborate they all knew what he was alluding to.

"Jude, I...."

"Jude," Samara interjected before her husband could complete his statement, "I would love to see your garden if you don't mind; I took my 1st graders to a petting zoo and they loved it; we have plans to create a small community garden so any advice you can give me will be a big help." She smiled at him. This was her attempt at diffusing the volatile exchange that she knew was coming on.

Jude studied Samara before he responded. When she first walked out onto the patio, he felt his heart lurch. She was stunning. The short white strapless sundress that she wore only enhanced her beautiful skin and drew a picture of the lovely form hiding just beneath it. She wore her thick black hair up in a ponytail, giving her a more youthful appearance.  And her smile, that big beautiful toothy smile was slowly melting his frozen heart. 

"I don't think that you're...uh dressed for trekking through all that dust to get to the vegetable patch." Though he was sitting across from her, he knew that being near her wasn't a good idea.

"I'll be fine; it's just behind the barn right?" Pointing to the bright yellow structure that stood out among all of the greenery, Samara stood up.

Jude uttered a low "yes" and averted his eyes from her shapely legs.  He actually felt his manhood twitch when she turned her back to point at the barn, revealing her perfect round ass. He swallowed the groan that threatened to escape and sipped his ice water. Though he occasionally dated, it had been sometime since he felt anything sexual. It surprised him that he was now growing hard while lusting after his brother's wife. He had work so hard to stay in control of his feelings, good or bad and now his body was betraying him. Sitting there looking at her had him feeling like a horny freshman at a panty raid, shit.

"Let me just freshen up and then you can show me your goods."

"Ah...yeah sure." Jude uttered.

Samara gave Noah a quick kiss and whispered words of encouragement, and then disappeared into the house. Noah sat quietly for a moment, contemplating what he wanted to say to Jude. The tension that he felt between them was stifling. He needed to clear the air once and for all so that he could get closure and so that Jude could begin to truly heal.

"This really is a stunning piece of real estate Jude; from what I can see the design of the ranch house is flawless. Was this a custom build?"

"No." was Jude's clipped response.

"A historical piece, then?"

"No."

"I see, so you went to Home Depot and picked it up on sale or I know...did you order it from the latest Sears catalog...?" Noah mocked.

"No, I won it in a poker game! Fuck...Noah! What do you want from me...we aren't friends and we haven't been brothers for a number of years? You just can't walk in here and say you're sorry and expect me to forgive and forget. I'm sorry bro but, I am not wired like that. And you pushing yourself on me, is not helping, it is actually aggravating the hell out of me." Jude moved to the bar and popped the top of another beer. He'd lost count as to how many he had so far.

"I know, this is hard for you; believe me I understand but it's been hard for me too. Jude, you're all the family that I have left besides Mari. I am not too proud to admit that I need you on this journey with me, Twin.  I need you Jude."

"I...I need time Noah." Jude murmured, softening slightly at his brother's plea.

"And I wish that I could give that to you, but time is something that I don't have." Noah offered, calmly.

Jude wished that he could tell Noah what he wanted to hear but he couldn't. He knew that it was unhealthy to still harbor ill feelings towards his twin, but he wanted to release his pain and hurt on his own terms and not have anyone force his hand.

"Are we ready to go?" Samara inquired crossing the patio and taking a sip from her water glass, "Are you up for the walk, honey?"

"No you two go on." It broke her heart to see the sadness hovering in his eyes and the defeat in his posture.  "I'll wait here and watch the last inning of the game." Noah left the table and headed over to the lounge area where the TV was mounted.

"Do you need anything?" Samara asked her husband's retreating back. "I'm fine, thanks darlin'." Was Noah's strained response.

**************************

"Jude this is absolutely amazing." Samara enthused, moving from row to row of fresh vegetables and fruits. Jude pointed out the different varieties of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, broccoli, carrots and peas. And then moved on to the fruit patch that was just as equally impressive.

"You have just about everything planted here; you have enough to feed an army." Samara noted, picking up a fresh strawberry, dusting the dirt off and popping it into her mouth.

"I usually give it away to my staff, Russell, Millie and her family and anyone else that needs it." Jude managed to get out as he watched her enjoy the berry. Her full lips savoring the fruit had his thoughts headed south, way south. Quit it he scolded himself.

"That's very generous of you, Jude. Now I don't know if our school's community garden will be this grand, but you have certainly given me some ideas." Samara said as she continued to inspect the colorful offerings. "I have a question though, how do you water your crops?" She asked looking around for a water source, but not seeing one nearby. Jude went on to explain the irrigation system that he and Russell had rigged up to utilize the rain water that was caught in the rain barrels just outside the greenhouse.  They continued out of the garden until they were standing in front of the greenhouse and he showed her how the system delivered water to the crops. "You thought about everything, I'll have to make sure that we consider using rain barrels for our garden too, another lesson the kids can learn about sustainability. Maybe if you are not too busy in the fall, you can come and teach us how to create our garden?"

Jude stiffened at her question and he hoped that it wasn't obvious to her. It wasn't that he didn't want to help her, but he knew that it would be best to stay away from her. He motioned for them to leave the greenhouse and start on the path to the ranch.

As if sensing his discomfort Samara blurted out, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. I know that you are busy and you and Noah have only just begun to....."

"No, don't apologize." He waved her off, "It's just...well I don't know....with everything that is going on between me and Noah. It just caught me off guard that you would want me to visit you in South Carolina." Jude stated slowing his movements.

"Why wouldn't you be welcomed to our home, Jude? You are our family and we have to stick together. My husband loves you and by extension, I love you."  Jude recoiled a little at that declaration. He had not been told that he was loved by any other than Russell in a long time. Hearing her say those words made his heart smile.

Samara moved around him to face him, "Jude, Noah is facing one tough battle. And unlike most, he already knows the outcome. I am not trying to guilt you into a reconciliation with him, but I want you to know that you haven't been the only one suffering all of these years."  Jude stared down at Samara as she took his hand in hers, touching her was bad. That simple gesture sent his desire for her way up. Was he the only one feeling it, damn it Samara, please let my hand go. Jude silently pleaded. "He is dying and he wants so desperately to die in peace, he wants you there with him. You were with him at the beginning of his journey and he won't rest until you are with him at the very end. Watching him suffer with his cancer has been really hard, but watching him agonize over his lost relationship with you has been worst. Don't lose out on what little time you have left with him. Just think about that." She gave Jude's hand a squeeze, which he returned in kind; the contact raced through their bodies which startled them both.  Samara quickly released Jude's hand and continued on the path to the house alone.

Jude stood there for a moment. He needed to be alone and clear his head. Noah and Samara were both driving him crazy but for different reasons. He looked over to the stables and thought about riding but he knew that he couldn't just disappear on them. He took a few calming breaths and willed his feet to move in the direction of the house.

**********************

Samara was glad that Jude didn't immediately follow her to the house. When she reached for his hand and squeezed it, it was to lend comfort to his obvious distress. What she didn't count on was her body's reaction to his touch. Her heart rate sped up and heat flood her depths like she'd never experienced before. She berated herself for reacting in the same way after meeting him yesterday. If she were being honest, Jude's touch left her longing for more. She chalked it up to the lack of intimacy that she and Noah were now experiencing. Samara cursed herself when she found herself physically comparing him to her husband. They were so alike and yet so dissimilar. Noah with his sleek swimmer's build and corded muscles had a romantic quality about him. He was a charmer, with the dreamy eyes and poetic hair. She smiled when he told her he wasn't taking chemo because he refused to lose his long thick tresses. Jude, on the other hand, with his layers of rippling muscles and cool demeanor gave off an air of mystery. His sexy bedroom eyes were intense and pinned you where you stood. He oozed sex appeal and could easily woo any woman out of her clothes if he wanted to.

Samara pushed her lustful thoughts aside and she stepped onto the patio. That wasn't the focus of their trip here. Her husband was dying and here she was thinking about her own selfish needs. She cozied up next to Noah who was still watching the Mets and the Braves game.

"Whose winning?"

"Mets in the bottom of the ninth. Where's Jude?"

"Closing up the green house, I think. His garden really is quite spectacular."

"Yeah? I'm not surprised, Jude has always been great at whatever he does; I just wished our dad could have seen it." Samara patted Noah's hand in understanding. Noah had always felt guilty about being the favored child. He never understood, why his father treated Jude the way that he did; especially since he and Jude were identical. Yes, their personalities were a little different, but deep down they were essentially the same person.

Just then Millie came out on the porch with a desert tray. She looked around for Jude and hoped that he hadn't retreated to his quiet place. He often went their when he needed to get away from the darkness in his life. He would take off for hours or even days at a time and return as if it were the most normal thing in the world. The first few times it happened, she and Russell had feared the worse. After his return home, she insisted that he showed Russell exactly where his spot was, just in case. Begrudgingly he did and it calmed her fears. She knew that Noah's return wouldn't be easy and she hoped that it wouldn't be the one thing that finally broke Jude beyond repair.

"Is Jude out checking the horses?" Millie asked setting the tray down in front of Samara.

"Um, I'm not sure, I left him at the greenhouse...he has horses?" Samara inquired excitedly.

"Yes, do you ride?"

"No, but I've always wanted to learn."

"Well maybe we can get you some lessons while you're here. You should come by tomorrow, my grandchildren usually come up to ride on Sunday afternoons." Millie insisted.

"I don't want to intrude." Samara demurred.

"You are welcomed to join us, but come early since you've never ridden before." Millie, Samara, and Noah all turned in Jude's direction. "Noah can give you an impromptu lesson before we head out to the pasture."

"Thank you, but I wouldn't know where to start."

"Well that's why it's call a lesson, you'll start at the beginning." Jude smiled at her. "Surely you could appreciate a good lesson."

"Touché."  Samara smiled.

"Noah, you never taught Samara how to ride? You really have gone all Cosmo, huh?

Jude laughed, "No, we just never really found the time to."

"Well the time is tomorrow and the place is here, so...." Jude reiterated sitting down.

"It's been awhile since I've sat a horse." Noah confessed, "I may need a lesson."

"I find that hard to believe," Millie chimed in, "You were a champion horseman."

"Thanks Millie, but that was many moons ago."

"You rode competitively?" Samara asked in surprised.

"They both did." Millie responded, "There isn't anything the Mathers' twins can't do."

Jude and Noah both sat in silence and traded the occasion look at each other, as Millie told Samara all about their childhood exploits, accomplishments and all the mischievous twin tricks they played on everyone they met. They both became a bit wistful at some of the tales and knew that they had no choice but to make things right between them.

***************

"Dinner went well, don't you think?" Samara asked fluffing up Noah's pillows before he laid his head down. He down the last few pills for the day and settle in the bed.

"Yes, it was nice of Jude to ask us to stay at the ranch for the rest of our trip. I know that must have been hard for him, considering everything.

"You just need to be patient with him."

"I know, that's what he told me today." Noah sighed.

"Honey, it's obvious that he wants to be released of his pain too...but don't rush him, just let it happen."

Noah moved over closer to his wife and gave her a deep lingering kiss, "I love you Mrs. Mathers, and don't you ever forget that. Thank you for just being you, sweet and loving and oh so smart."

"And don't you forget it, I love you too." She returned his kiss, running her fingers through his dark brown tresses.

Noah continued kissing her moving down to her neck, then on to her collar bone. He slipped her nightie strap off her shoulders to expose her high full breast to his silky touch. Her tear drop shape breasts capped with blackberry nipples were a thing of beauty.

The first time he saw her grape sized nipples, he quickly latched on to them and brought her to orgasm. She had never experienced an orgasm from breast play but after being introduced to it, she was hooked.  Though they didn't have intercourse much anymore, Noah still found the energy to satisfy her orally and by this technique.

Samara moaned when he popped her right nipple into his hot wet mouth while roughly squeezing on her left breast. She loved it. Noah continued teasing her, alternating between biting, squeezing, pulling, and sucking on her breasts and nipples. The different sensations sent her mind reeling. He knew how much she loved it when he brought her to orgasm from simply worshipping her breast.

"Noah..." she moaned, "I'm so close..."

He moved her slightly, to prop her up against the pillows. This position allowed him to bury his face in her chest and pull both mounds into his mouth. He continued to squeeze her breasts and gently chew on her nipples.

Which caused Samara to grip his locks tighter; encouraging him to take more of her into his mouth. She opened her eyes to watch his ministrations and whimpered as she felt her orgasm building. He looked into her eyes as he felt her grip on him tighten. He knew she was there. He gave her breasts a light bite before sucking them again into his mouth. His reward was the contented cry that spilled from her lips.

Samara was still breathing heavily after her explosive orgasm. She was feeling confused and guilty. She had looked into her husband's brilliant eyes right before the big "O". But instead of seeing Noah, she found herself staring into Jude's intense gaze.

She tried to stop herself from climaxing to the thought of Jude loving her breasts to completion; but instead had the most powerful release she'd ever experienced. Samara tried to push tears and the thought away, as Noah continued to kiss her breasts.

Thumbing her bead and fingering her sweet spot, Noah whispered between kisses, " Is it good, baby?"

Though she was still ashamed of her lust filled thoughts of Jude, Samara could not help the shudder that raced through her body.

"Always..." was her breathy return as Noah licked and kissed her swollen nipples.

*****************

Unbeknownst to Samara, a few miles away, Jude too was screaming out a release of his own, to very wicked thoughts of her. He had not masturbated in years and tried to fight the urged to peak at his own hands while thinking about her; but he failed.

He lay in his bed, nude and covered in a mixture of his sweat and essence. He continued stroking his member to images of her and was soon hard again. Stop it Jude, she deserves better than this; she is your brother's wife.

Damn Noah for his stupid favor, he argued. His body was hungry for her and he knew he had to deal with it somehow and soon. He had invited Samara and Noah to stay at the ranch for the rest of their trip, in hindsight, it was a stupid move. Especially now since he was craving Samara in the worst way.

Noah felt right at home next to Jude saddling the horses for the Sunday ride.  This was a familiar seen that had played out many times from their childhood. Their parents bred and boarded horse and taught them everything that they knew about their care. Though he gave up riding long ago, Noah couldn't help feeling a bit nostalgic about being in the stables with his brother. Jude loved riding and even though Noah was said to be the better horseman, he would endure the wrath of their father for going off on a ride astride one of his prized stallions. So Noah wasn't surprised that his brother maintained a stable full at his ranch, he loved the animals.  It was moments like this that Noah regretted being away from his twin for so long.  When he and Samara arrived back at the ranch for breakfast, Jude immediately put them to work in preparation for the day's events. He was grateful for the small gesture. It showed him that Jude was willing to at least meet him half way towards reconciliation.

*********************

Jude led Legacy out of the stables for Samara's riding lesson. "She is beautiful. Is she a Palomino?" Noah asked excitedly.

"Yes she is. Legacy, meet my brother Noah; Noah say hello to Legacy." Noah surveyed the animal for a minute, taking in her chocolate coat paired with a golden mane and tail. She was a gorgeous animal.

"Do you mind if I take her out to trot. I want to make sure that she is at her best. Samara is still nervous about riding."

"A trot? You? Do you even know how to trot?" Jude questioned smiling, handing the reins to Noah. "Knock yourself out."

"Seriously, it's been some years since I've sat so..." Jude watched as Noah expertly mounted the mare. "I need a minute to reacquaint myself." Trotting back and forth around the corral ring, Jude watched his brother and started a silent count down in his head. He didn't even make it to five before, Noah, quickly built up a heavy gallop and he and Legacy jumped the ring out of the corral and headed towards the stream full steam ahead. Jude laughed. His twin was still the same cocky kid he grew up with; always ready to show off his expertise.    

"Thank you." Startled by the sound of her voice, Jude was surprised to see Samara leaning over the corral's gate. "He needed that. He needs this time with you."

"You don't need to thank me for anything." Jude assured dusting his hands off on his jeans. Trying his damnedest not to ogle his sister in law; who was clad in fitted blue jeans and snug yellow top.

"Yes I do. Your invitation to stay here at the ranch means so much to him; to us. It really has lifted his spirits. I know that it must be hard seeing him after all this time; after everything you've been through. So yes, I do need to thank you." Looking to Jude with her wide eyes and big smile, he was lost. He could only manage a whispered you're welcome in response, before beating a hasty retreat to the stables.

********************

"Ok, first things first, show no fear. Legacy is more afraid of you than you are of her." Noah wasn't so sure that this was the best way to conduct her first lesson; Samara was clearly afraid of the horse in front of them.

"I don't know about this Noah, maybe I'll just go help Millie prepare lunch." With her fear clearly on display, Samara was ready to make a retreat to the house. "You know that I'm such a wuss, this seems just a bit too dangerous for me."

"Come on darlin' you stare danger in the face every day. You teach 1st grade. What could be more hellish than that?" Noah teased, making sure that the Legacy's reins were properly secured.

"Funny Mathers, real funny." Still eyeing the horse, she moved a few steps away. "Could I get a smaller horse?"

"Mari honey, if your horse was any smaller, you'd be riding a pony."

"Ponies are good."

"Seriously, babe. It's easy. Just watch me mount the horse and then you try it, ok?" Samara slowly nodded her head, still not sure if she would ride with the rest of them later on. Noah kissed her for reassurance and continued with the lesson.

Jude had been watching the lesson from just outside the stables and had to stop himself a few times from interrupting them. Samara was clearly shaken by the mere idea of getting on the horse let alone riding it. This was Noah's, responsibility, she was his wife; and as much as he wanted to help, he wouldn't intrude.  But when he heard her ask for a smaller horse, Jude knew that he had to do something.  This was no good, he knew that as soon as Samara mounted the mare she would spoke her and that would be bad. He watched for as long as he could but his stomach twisted in knots, when he noticed her eyes wildly darting from Noah to the animal. He had to get to her, to help her, to calm her fears and to reassure her that he would never let anything harm her, shit where the hell did that come from. Before he could even examine the thought further, his quick strides were taking him to her

"Come on Noah, she needs to learn to ride today, not some time in the future." Jude called, hopping the fence to the corral, "She needs the 1, 2, 3, Mathers Method." He advised heading towards them and keeping his eyes on a nervous Samara.

With little fuss Noah stepped aside to let Jude take over her lesson.  "You maybe the better rider bro, but you still are the worst teacher." Jude took the reins from Noah. "Please come over here Samara, so I can properly introduce you to Legacy, Legacy please meet Samara."

"Jude, I..." Samara hesitated.

"Don't be nervous, she'll sense it; just relax and she'll take care of you." Jude promised. Samara walked over to them and he encouraged her to pet Legacy as they got to know each other. Noah stood back and watched the exchange in awe, as Samara grew more comfortable with the mare, under his twin's guidance. Jude was right; he had always been better the better teacher.

"Ok. Mrs. Mathers, I need you to take of your teacher hat for a few minutes and think like a student."

"Ms. Sammy." She blurted out. Jude looked at her quizzically, "I tell my kids to call me that, it makes them feel more at ease." She clarified.

He smiled, "Ms. Sammy it is. First, you have to learn the tools that we are going to use to ride." Jude meticulously pointed out the equipment and answered Samara's questions. "So now, when I'm calling out instructions, you will be able to follow."

"Next, and this probably the most important, always stay as relaxed as possible. Any tension you're holding in your body will make you bounce, and that may frighten Legacy."

"Got it, stay relaxed." She repeated, watching as Jude slowly mounted the horse.

"Now, this is where the real lesson starts. Sit up tall with your body firmly planted in the middle of the saddle. Try to sit on the back pockets of your jeans." Demonstrating each direction, he watched her to see if she understood, and was amused to see her mimicking his movements. "Keep your heels down and knees locked; but not too tight otherwise she'll think that you want her to go faster." Jude quickly showed her the difference in the techniques and was happy to see that Samara was raptly engaged in the lesson.  "Now, if we want to ride, we have to get Legacy to move. Always look in the direction that you want to travel; and hold your reins so that there is only light contact. You want to cue your horse to move by giving her a gentle nudge with your lower leg. If she doesn't move, then nudge her just a bit harder." He did just that and the mare began a slow trot, Samara followed behind them awaiting further instructions.

"Now, here's the fun part." Jude smiled, "Smoothly rock your pelvis forward and back in time with the horse's movements.  As she moves her front leg, rock forward. When she moves her back leg, rock back with her.  Watch me." He took off in a heavier trot to show her the movement. Samara watched in fascination as the horse obeyed all of Jude's orders.

"Lastly, if you want her to stop, close your fingers around the reins and gently squeeze backwards." He called, back to her. "Or you can always yell whoa. There, you're all set. Questions?" Jude asked trotting back to where she was standing. She didn't seem as tense as before but she still wasn't the confident sprite, who walked into his work room a few days ago.

"Yes...do I really have to do this?" Samara whined as, Jude dismounted. He laughed but handed her the reins. "Will you, trot with me this first time?" Immobilizing him with her soft expression, Samara had Jude frozen.

Jude, wasn't expecting that and wasn't sure how to respond. Images of her flooded his mind along with his prior night's lust filled fantasies. Sitting close to her on Legacy would do nothing but send his hormones racing.

Before he could respond Noah rejoined them. "Mari, if it will make you feel better, I will trot with you until you feel more confident to do it alone." He had been quiet during the rapid fire lesson but was pleased that Jude was able to get her to relax. "Will you, honey?" Samara asked turning to him. "Anything for your darlin'." He helped her onto Legacy and got on behind her.

Jude watched as the pair took off; a bit relieved that he wasn't riding with her. Watching them, he felt envious of Noah; though he had no right to be. She was his wife. Samara loved him and it was obvious in the way she touched him, looked at him and spoke to him. Jude would never admit it, but he wished that he wasn't so broken that someone could love him like that.  Seeing them together like this, he was so ashamed for his racy thoughts about Samara and for even contemplating Noah's favor.

"Hey Jude, look at me; I'm riding." Samara yelled at him, shaking him from his thoughts.  He couldn't help but smile at her. "You're the best, teach!" She was so excited, giving him that beautiful smile that he had come love in such a short time. "Any time." Once in the solitude of the stalls, he began his deep breathing exercises to regain his composure.

Once he felt that he could face the sun again, Samara's smile, Jude headed out of stables and down the path to the ranch house. It was going to be a long afternoon.

**********************

When Millie said that her grandkids usually came to ride on Sunday afternoons Noah wasn't expecting that the entire clan would show up, some with their own horses in tow. There were her 2 sons, Eli and Jensen, his wife Jenna, her daughter Peggy and her husband Luke, and the 5 grandkids in tow, Lily, Eli, Macy, Jack and baby Emma.  As Millie introduced her family, it saddened Noah a little to know that he would never know this kind of family bonding with either Samara or Jude. He and Samara would never have children of their own; and he and Jude would never have vacations together with their children, alternate holiday hosting responsibility, or summers at the ranch in Clayton as a family.

 Samara sensed his melancholy thoughts as he observed the interaction of the Gauthier clan and went to work immediately on lifting his spirits.

"Hey I have someone who wants to meet you." Ushering a shy Lily in front of her, "This is Lily, and she wanted to meet the other Jude." Samara smirked holding in a laugh.

"Well it is very nice to meet you young lady, I am Noah, the other Jude." Shaking her tiny hand, and taking in sweet baby girl looks, he couldn't help but become reflective of their situation.

"I have a horse named Starlite." She beamed; I can ride her by myself."

"Wow, you can huh?" Noah kneeled down so that he was eye level with her, "You must be very brave. Braver than Ms. Sammy here; she is probably afraid to ride Starlite." Whispering that tidbit into her ear, immediately sent Lily giggling.

"Are you two talking about me?"

"He said that you are afraid to ride Starlite." The little girl repeated, with a toothless grin.

"He did?" Nodding her golden tresses, Lily wasted no time in giving up Noah.  Samara glared at him but he simply shrugged his shoulders.

"It's not so scary, Ms. Sammy; just hold on tight, but not too tight and go slow." Lily instructed, before running off to join the other children who were chasing the family dog in the back yard.

"Even the 8 year old is an expert." Samara sighed.

"She gave you the same advice that Jude and I did this morning." Noah laughed, pulling her close for a kiss. "Come on darlin' your steed awaits."

****************

Jude watched as Samara laughed and played with Jack, Macy, Lily and Casey.  She wasn't shy about getting dirty with them as they rolled around in the grass. Seeing her with them today, he was conflicted about the decision he had to make; he was still unsure if he should do what his heart had been pushing him to do, though his head was against it.

"Ms. Sammy?" Lily shyly asked, "Will you be here the next time we ride?"

"Of course I'll be here next time, but you better have more kisses for me otherwise I am going to tickle you until you cry." Playfully grabbing the little girl and tickling her to no end. The others joined in the fray and before long they were all back to chasing each other around the backyard, hooting and hollering to their hearts content.

"Samara is a natural. I can't believe that she was able to get kids to respond to her so quickly." Eli uttered in disbelief.  

"She does have away with the kiddies." Jude observed taking a sip of his beer.

"Macy and Jack I get, ‘cause they're older. But my Lily and Casey, they've been having such a hard time, since their mama ran off and left us." Eli confessed.

"I don't know how she does it; it's like that everywhere we go."  Noah admitted, "She swears it's her teacher magic. But I think it's her instinct. She will make a great mom someday."

"Well you better get to work on it then, Noah." Eli teased unaware of Noah's circumstances. "You're not getting any younger."

Noah laughed to himself, "Trust me I know. I'm working on it." Looking over to Jude, who was still watching as Samara played with the children on the lawn.

*************************

3 days later

"Jude?" Diane knocked on his office door.

"Yep."  Looming over the blue prints of the 1971 Corvette Stingray, Jude was busy trying to determine whether his client's auto could be restored.

"You have a visitor."

"Who?" Moving quickly to clear off his conference table; he wasn't expecting anyone but he didn't want to seem unprofessional.

"No one special, just me." Samara entered his office with workbooks in hand and laptop bag on her shoulder. "My afternoon sessions got cancelled; and I needed a ride home but Noah ran off to Atlanta with Russell for the day...so that left me stranded and I just came here. Sorry to bother you, I can figure something out."

"No it's no bother." Jude rushed over to her to take the load out of her hands, "If you want to go home, I'll take you."

"Are you sure? If you're busy, I can just wait until Noah gets back or until you're done."

"You are going to wait, um 3 hours until Noah gets back for a ride home, when I can have you there in 30 minutes?" Jude questioned, looking at his watch then grabbing his keys from his desk.

"Well when you put it like that..."

"Hey have you had lunch yet?" he asked, grabbing her stuff of the table.

"No. I'm starved." She grinned, following him out of his office.

"Do you like barbeque?"

"I love it."

***************       

Blowin' Smoke Barbeque was not the typical BBQ joint that Samara was expecting. It was the classiest bbq spot she'd ever been to. Exposed brick interior, loft style features and an outdoor patio easily welcomed any nature lover. The hostess quickly took them to their table and the wait staff began their duties. Within minutes the pair was staring at some of the most mouthwatering dishes the south had to offer.

"So what is this conference about?" Jude asked, watching Samara polish off another bbq rib.

"The benefits of a charter schools in the urban environment." Was her quick response, as she licked sauce from her fingers.

"And what are the benefits?" Jude choked out, watching as she popped her digits in and out of those tempting lips of hers.

"Our kids need to be challenged more and we need to rid ourselves of the old 1950's standard. Some people see it as a waste of tax dollars; and want the funding used to go directly to public schools but I argue that a charter can have a direct focus on specifics like art, science, and math. I have more autonomy on my lessons. I am teaching my 1st graders things that they would learn in 2nd or 3rd grade and....." Reaching for a piece of his chicken, "Are you going to eat that?"

"No help yourself."  Jude mildly amused as he pushed his plate towards her, surprised that she wasn't shy about eating; unlike most of the women he met.

Taking a piece of his chicken, "You never eat anything Jude, you pick at what's on your plate and move it around but you never eat. I've noticed that about you. You're not one of those muscle guys that live solely on shakes are you? Samara rambled on.

"No." Jude laughed, "I eat plenty." But was comforted to know, that she was concerned about something as insignificant as his eating habits.

"I know what you mean." Samara agreed patting her stomach. "My head says no but my mouth is so willing." Jude watched her fingers rub her middle; he caught a fleeting glimpse of it the other day when she was in the patch picking fruit with Millie's grandkids. She insisted that everyone carry the fruit in their home made baskets; which was their shirts upturned at the hem.  The sight of her bare midriff stayed with him for the rest of the night.

 "What made you decide to become a teacher?" Quickly changing the subject, Jude sipped his ice tea.

"I was an only child and my parents were killed in car accident when I was twelve. I always wanted brothers and sisters but instead was cursed with wicked cousins and greedy relatives. I never mattered, to any of them, unless there was some money attached to my well-being.  When I was 14 I was fortunate to have Miss Harper for a teacher. She was the best and always made me feel like I mattered. So I told myself that I would repay her kindness by always helping children. And what better way than to help cultivate their minds."

"Wow. That's inspiring. I'm sorry about your parents and that you had to live with those wicked cousins too."

"Thank you about my parents; but those wicked cousins can rot in hell for all I care. I lived with my mom's sister until the insurance money she collected from their death ran out. Then I became too much of a financial burden. So I was bounced around from family member to family member until I was 18 and left for college. I never looked back and I don't bother to keep in touch with them anymore. You have to let go of people who don't mean you well."

"I know what you mean." Jude responded, staring off in to the distance.

"Oh gosh I'm sorry...I didn't mean to be so insensitive Jude." A flustered Samara stammered.

"No it's ok."

"You must think that I'm an idiot; I'm sorry." Staring at him with her soft brown eyes, Jude quickly waved off her apologies.

"I'm a big boy, I can take it."

"But you shouldn't have too." Without much thought, Samara reached for his hand that was on top of the table and held it. She hoped that he felt some comfort by her touch. They locked eyes at the contact but neither said a word. They continued holding hands and chatting.  Jude told her about his love of vintage autos and what made a car a classic. Samara told him about her goal of creating an academy with a more holistic approach to learning. They sat and talked, getting to know each other better, as the afternoon crept away.

*****************

As they pulled up to the drive of the ranch, Samara's thoughts were in a state of disarray.  She just spent a wonderful afternoon with Jude and some how she felt guilty about it. She didn't once think about Noah and his illness or what they faced. Since his diagnosis, she tried to keep everything upbeat for his sake; but sometimes when alone, she would give into the sadness, knowing that eventually she would be have to get used to life on her own. But for some reason, she didn't think about it at all this afternoon, thanks to Jude. He had been so accommodating and attentive to her needs that she felt more relaxed than she had been in a longtime. She studied his profile as he parked the truck and got out of the cab. He would make a wonderful spouse she thought and wondered why he wasn't dating anyone.  As she watched him walk around the truck to open her door, she made a mental note to ask him about it later.

Just as Jude opened her door to let her out, her foot slipped on exit; before she could stop herself from falling out, Jude was there to catch her.

"Are you all right?" Holding her close to his body with his arms securely wrapped around her. Jude needed to be sure that she was ok before he moved.

Samara could only nod. Glad that she was safe in his arms but clinging to him still unsure of her footing, she breathed a sigh of relief. Jude slowly placed her on her feet but she wasn't letting him go. She raised her head from his chest and was greeted by his penetrating stare. Her heart was beating like a drum in her chest and she could feel his just as strong.

"I would never let anything happen to you, I promise." Jude reassured, stroking her left cheek with his thumb.

"Thank you..." Samara returned leaning into his touch; his fingers slowly moved to brush over her lips and she waited in anticipation for his next move but quickly got up on her toes. He wanted to kiss her and she wanted him to do it. They saw it in each other's eyes. Jude bent slightly to dust her lips with his; but the moment was lost when they heard Russell's truck headed up the driveway.

********************

1 week later

Jude sat in his study down the hall from his bedroom and debated calling it a night so that he could get some much needed sleep. Sleep, he needed to rest but he also needed to work. He had three shows coming up in the next month and had to get 8 cars ready for the showings.  Yet, his thoughts could only focus on one thing, her. He had done his best to avoid Samara after their almost kiss that afternoon he took her to lunch. He lost count as to how many times he chastised himself for it and thinking about doing much worst. The few times he saw her over past week, she seemed unaffected by it; she talked to him as if nothing happened. So lost in his thoughts he did hear Noah knocking at his door.

Jude had hoped to avoid Noah for a few more days; but now a confrontation with his twin inevitable. They made small talk and Jude continued to work; both danced around the real reason Noah was visiting him in his study so late.

"I just wanted to know if you've made a decision; we are returning home to Charleston, this weekend. And I want to discuss it with Mari when we get back..."

Jude looked up from the documents sprawled on his desk, "I haven't made my mind up Noah; I don't have time to think about that now. When I do, you'll know it. So stop asking me about it, please."

 "Jude, you've had two months to think about it." Noah reminded. "Yes or no brother; it's that simple."

"Nothing with you is ever simple, Noah."

"I need an answer Jude, yes or no."

"You want my answer, right now? I can't. There are you happy now you have your answer." Jude mocked. So annoyed at his brother yet again, he attempted to exit the room.

Blocking his exit, Noah moved towards his twin, "I get it you hate me but I am not asking you to do this just for me... Samara..."

"No damn it! Not everything is about you, Noah." Jude got out through gritted teeth. "You're not listening, I said that I can't... not that I didn't want to."

"What do you mean Jude, I am not following. " Noah asked genuinely perplex "Can't, won't, couldn't, wouldn't... I am confused."

"Don't you get it brother? If you want me to father a child with Samara I will." Jude murmured, pacing in front of his desk, he needed to get away, this was too much.  "But as far as...the other thing...I can't do what you want Noah."

 "I don't understand?" Noah looked to Jude, who was clearly fighting his emotions. "There is no need to feel guilty for doing this Jude. I trust you. I love you both."

"Noah... please, I just...I can't all right." Jude reiterated calmly, "I want to do it; I will be your donor but...I ....I just can't do it the way you want me to." Jude finally looked to his twin, who was sporting a confused look and watching his every move. "Please let's not talk about this right now."

"Jude, just talk to me. You're not making any sense. How can you say you can't but you'll be a donor?"

Jude stopped, sat on the edge of his desk, inhaled and then exhaled a deep breath. He had hoped that once he had completed his therapy that he would never have to reveal his pain to another soul. But Noah wasn't going to stop until the scab, that Jude thought had completely healed had been peeled away. He stared far off in the distance, "Prison is a horrible place, he paused, it robs a man of his humanity and dignity," Jude sighed, "Do you know what prison is like for an eighteen year old kid?" Jude asked Noah rhetorically. Fighting the pain that was seeping to the surface. "What the guards and other inmates do to a youngin' in there?"

"Jude..." Already feeling his twins anguish, Noah braced himself as best as he could for the tale that Jude was about to spin. "You don't have to do this..." Tears forming on his eyelids, he prepared for the worst.

"No I do...you may not want to hear about what I endured for 3 years but you need to; so you can better understand why when you waltzed in here wanting to make amends that I can't just simply forgive and forget. You need to know when you ask me to father a child with Samara, the old fashion way I have to tell you that I can't. The reason why I disappear for days at a time, scaring Millie and Russell half to death, is because sometimes the darkness still has a hold on me. The reason why I am a real estate mogul as you put it, and own so many homes, in different cities is because I get anxiety attacks just from sitting in a hotel room for too long.  I have a booming business, but hate interacting with my clients. I get asked for interviews all the time but I can't sit still long enough to even grant one. I own a beach house but never go swimming during the day; no matter how hot it is, I never take my shirt off, you know why? Because of these."  Jude pulled his shirt over his head and turned his back to Noah revealing numerous angry scars scored into his skin.

"Jude...I'm so sorry...I did this..." Noah sobbed moving to comfort his twin; he was rendered speechless, having seen Jude's back. "These are nothing, they are healed now." Jude waved him off and let out a sad laugh. "The real scars are the ones not visible. The ones I still can't talk about."

Jude fought his tears as he told his twin about his time in prison. Noah wanted him to stop but knew that Jude needed this release. In truth, Noah didn't want to hear about it because it made him feel guiltier. Not knowing what Jude had faced had made his life over the years easier; it further removed him from Jude's pain and made him feel less guilt ridden.  Now with the truth staring him in the eyes, Noah knew that there was nothing he could say or do to convince Jude to forgive him. His twin would have to come to that decision on his own. Noah listened with a heavy heart and silent tears, knowing that Jude had endured such a harsh circumstance because of his cowardice.

 "You want me to share a special moment with Samara and I tell you that I can't. But it is not for the reasons you think. It's not because I hate you Noah, or that I don't want to help. It's... Do you know how many times that I've had sex in the 10 years that I have been out?" Now pacing in quick strides, he was fighting the rage which threaten to spill out. "Five times. Do you want to know why?" Jude asked, but Noah didn't utter a word. He stood there watching his twin's hurried movements to nowhere, feeling guiltier than he ever thought possible. He created this.

"The first time I tried, it was the year I got out. There I am 22 years old, finally free and ready to run through some women. I met Katie and she was cute as could be and willing. We were back at her place and ready to go at it; but to my surprise my pipe refused to get hard. No matter what I tried, no what she did, nothing.  Talk about choking when the game is on the line. Jude laughed. Dr. Dave, my therapist, told me that it was "nervous anticipation" and that I should take my time any try again."

"And so I did. The second time was 2 years later, at my therapist's urging. That time my boy worked."  Jude smiled woefully, "But something else happened...I was so happy that I could...I was extremely forceful with my date; so much so that I...I bruised her. Luckily for me Mel was heavy into rough sex and loved it, otherwise I wouldn't be standing here." Jude looked to Noah for his reaction but could gauge nothing from his twin. "I tried to have sex with Mel again, wanting to go slow but much like the first time... I couldn't maintain my erection." Raking his hands through his hair, Jude blew out a frustrated breath. "So we just stuck to what worked; but I just couldn't...I couldn't go on like that."

"The last time was about 2 years ago; my therapist thought that my self-imposed celibacy wasn't healthy for a man my age.  He thought that I just got overly excited those previous times, but encouraged me to explore some more.  Well this last time, I had that erection problem again; but this time the woman I was with was not as forgiving as Mel or Katie was. She started teasing me about my inability to salute; her taunts angered me to the point where my soldier showed up to make his displeasure known. Before I knew it I was pushing her up against the wall giving her the ride of her life. I was so lost that I stopped only when I felt Lisa's nails dig into my scars. I stopped immediately, hoping that I didn't hurt her.  She didn't say anything, she didn't have to. The look on her face said it all. That's when I realized that I couldn't... I had to control my urges."

Moving to look Noah in his eyes, Jude placed his hands on his twins' shoulders, "Don't you see Noah, the only sex I seem to respond to is the mean angry kind. I can't have normal sex with Samara. I don't know how to anymore. I...I'm afraid that I will hurt her." Jude sniffed. "I was normal when I entered that place, but those animals...they...they turned me into a monster just like the rest of them. She deserves better than someone who will rut around in her like a pig; that is no way to make a baby. She is too decent to be thrown to an animal like me. I will be your donor and father her child, if that's what your dying wish is; but please...please don't ask me to be intimate your wife."

Noah, unable to hold back his tears and Jude desperately fighting his, stood there watching each other. Since reaching out to Jude, Noah felt that his twin was the lucky one; he would get to live and enjoy his life; while he on the other had would wait for death to do her thing. Little did he know that he in fact was the lucky one; he had only been living with his cancer for just over a year, but Jude had been living with his for much longer. Noah knew that he only had a matter of time to suffer with his pain, but Jude on the other hand would have to endure that torment for the rest of his days.  And for that Noah would never be able to forgive himself.

"I know you Jude" Noah broke first, tears streaming down his face. Seeing Jude in so much pain, as a result of his own selfish actions had Noah feeling wretched. It hurt him more than a thousand cuts ever could. His actions not only caused his brother 3 years of his life, but caused his twin to live in such deep pain and shame it truly was disheartening. "I know that you would never hurt anyone on purpose, let alone Samara."

"You know me? You only think you know me Noah." Jude shrieked, "We knew each other as boys, we've never known each other as men. If you did know me...if you knew the things that I've done, the things that I've seen, you wouldn't want your wife anywhere near me."

"Whatever you did, Twin, was for your survival...you are not a monster." Noah assured through his tears. "I would never entrust the one thing that I've done right in my life to you, if I thought that. Samara is the best thing that has ever happened to me Jude, and I never want to see her unhappy. She is preparing for my death, but I can't let her die with me, I need her to live. I need you to see that she does."

"You want me to ensure her happiness, huh? I am so fucked up Noah, how can I possibly do that."

"Because...you love her." Noah simply replied, staring at his brother not blinking.

Jude froze at his brother's statement, quickly turning away from him; knowing that his face would betray what he was starting to feel in his heart. "Of course I love her, she is your wife." Jude recovered.

"Don't Jude...you know better than that...you can't hide anything from me. I always know what you are feeling. You're in love with her and I'm ok with that."

"That is crazy talk. I don't even know her." Turning around to face Noah, but still averting his eyes for fear of what they would reveal. "Can you even hear what you're saying, Noah? You are standing here telling another man that he is in love with your wife and you're ok with it? This is insane. If I were you, and I thought that, I would knock this man senseless for even thinking it."

"If it was some other man perhaps I would do just that. But since this man is my twin and we have few secrets between us, it would be pointless for either of us to deny it. You may not be ready to admit it to yourself or say it out loud but...I can see it in your eyes." Noah assured.

"You're a piece of work, you know that right?" Jude stated mockingly, "You walk back into my life to tell me you're dying; then you ask me to have sex with your wife, because you no longer can and you're cool if I get her pregnant. Now you're telling me that you know that I am in love with her and you're fine with that too? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" Jude asked skeptically.

Noah thought about what Jude had just said. Hearing it so plainly, it did sound a bit out there. But Noah knew his brother well enough to know, that it was his loyalty to him that prevented Jude from really hearing, what his twin was actually asking.

Noah raked his hand through his hair, he had to make his brother better understand his intentions, "Let's take a walk, Jude."

"Damn it Noah it's 1 o'clock in the morning. I don't want to walk. I don't want to talk. I just...."

"Come on Twin, we used to sneak out all hours of the night, just for kicks." Cutting Jude off Noah nudged him towards the door. "You said that we don't know each other as men. Let's change that, starting right now."

 **************************

The twins mounted their horses and took off for a moonlight ride. They rode in relative silence until they got to the stream. They dismounted and nudged the horse to the water to drink.

"You want to be with her, don't you?" Noah asked matter of factly, watching the horses drink.

"Fuck man how can you ask me that? Samara isn't some good time girl. She's your wife and I respect that, I respect her." Jude griped; tossing the smooth stones that littered the banks into the stream.

"I know you do Jude, and I know that you are fighting your feelings because you don't want to hurt me. I get that. But, you're right Mari deserves to be with someone who will love and respect her after I'm gone, you." Noah stopped his search for stones and looked to his brother, "I know her Jude, she'll hide behind my memory until she is forced to let go."

"How did things go from me fathering a child for you, naturally? To be becoming Samara's new beau in waiting? What is her take on all of this? In the times that we've talked she hasn't once said anything to me about it. "

"The day she walked into your workroom and I saw the way you looked at her, I knew that you would love and take care of her the way she deserves, after I'm gone." Noah confessed, skipping rocks across the stream, "But Jude, she doesn't know what I've asked you yet."

"What do you mean she doesn't know?" Jude yelled, dropping his rocks.

"I wanted you to say, yes first before I shared it with her." Looking away sheepishly, Noah could feel Jude's glare on him.

"O.K. it's confirmed you are fucking nuts. How do you know that she even wants this? How do you think she will react to this?" Noah remained silent, but Jude already knew the answer.

"That's what I thought." Jude shrieked, "You selfish bastard, it's always about you and what you want, even as you face your mortality you are still the same self-centered prick you always were. This isn't about her wanting your baby, this is about you.  You've cook up this whole scheme without even once discussing this with Samara? You have no right to make this kind of decision alone."

Noah didn't respond he couldn't find the words; he stood in the near darkness and meekly eyed his fuming twin.

Getting back on Mercer, Jude glared down at his twin, "I have been honest and open with you since the day you came back into my life; while you dear brother...you are still the coward that you've always been. You have me spill my guts about...about...the guilt and torment that I have been living with for the past 10 years, to give you the reason why I can't give your wife everything that you've ask me for.  You may think that having my baby is in her best interest but Samara is smart, she'll make whatever decision is best for her.  You asked me if I wanted to be with her, honestly, yes I do; and I have no problem being her donor. But I won't consider it any further, until she tells me herself that she wants me to father her baby; and having a baby is what she wants. She loves you and is loyal to you, everyone can see that.  You may not have a problem lying to or easily betraying those you love; but some of us do...and I gotta tell you, right now knowing how fucked up we both are, Samara deserves better than either one of us can give her." Not waiting for a response from his brother, Jude hastily galloped off, leaving Noah in the darkness.

Quickly mounting his steed, "Jude wait, just wait..." Noah yelled, trying to catch Jude's disappearing silhouette, but losing him to the shadows of the night.

He slowed his horse as the landscape became unfamiliar, and thought on everything that he and Jude had shared tonight. So overcome with emotion, he broke down and cried for the brother that he lost, the time they could not get back and the experiences that they would never share. As the moments ticked by, Jude stared at the moon in the distance and silently prayed that Jude was not lost to him again.

Flashback 13 years prior

"Well I have to say Annie, things don't look good for Jude. Given all that hell raising he done in the past, and them knock out drag out fights with Henry...the judge is sure to throw the book at him for killing his own pa. He could get life or worse..." Mason Newton the newly appointed attorney advised, "I suggest he pleads guilty and throws himself at the mercy of the court."

Noah was stunned; he didn't think that they would charge Jude, because they couldn't find the weapon used to gun down their father. He couldn't let Jude go to prison for the rest of his life.

"Mama..." Noah uttered shakily, "Jude didn't do this...I know he didn't...I..."

"Hush now, the sheriff has all the evidence against him, what was he doing here anyway?"

"I asked him to come and watch me play for the football scouts; but he didn't do this. I know...I know because..." Noah tried to get out.

"Son, I know you want to believe that Jude wouldn't do something like this because he's your twin, but the facts speak for themselves. He was covered in blood when the sheriff got there, he had scratches and bruises, cause he was fighting Henry and everyone knows he got a bad temper. They even found the same type of shotgun shells in his truck. The only thing saving him is that he won't say where the gun is, so they can use it as evidence."

Noah looked at their mother; she was giving up on Jude. "Mama please, Jude is a lot of things but he isn't a killer."

"I am gonna go talk to the D.A. and see if we can't work out some plea agreement; maybe get the charges knocked down to manslaughter so he's only looking at 15-20 years."

"20 years?" Noah yelled, feeling sick to his stomach. He had to get out of here, he had to help Jude.

"Well that's a whole lot better than, life...or death." Mason reminded.

Not stopping to shrill of his mother's calls, to wait for her. Noah raced out of Mason's office to get to his truck. He barely made it to his vehicle before emptying the contents of his stomach. The tears streamed down his face as his mind revisited the prior's day events.  Because of his stupidity and impulsive behavior, Jude could go to jail for the rest of his life.

*************************

Thirteen years prior

"What the hell are you doing here? The gruff voiced demanded.

"I invited him. I wanted him to watch the game."  Noah answered.

"You've seen him play, get the hell out of my house."

"You got it. I'll see you Noah, good game. I know you'll get a ton of offers this summer." Jude grabbed his jacket off of the back of the dining room chair and started towards the door.

"No Jude, stay. I want you here. I want to celebrate my victory with my brother."

"Dammit Noah, when are you gonna cut this dead weight loose; he has done nothing but cause us grief. You are gonna be a big football star soon; you don't need the embarrassment that is your brother, keeping you back." Their father spat at Jude.

"I swear to god pop, if you make him leave, I am leaving with him. I will pack my shit up and move to Savannah with him and Uncle Pete. Jude isn't just my brother, he is my twin, my other half and I love him."

"Don't be stupid boy; you have scouts all over you."

"Stupid is me letting you kick my brother out my life but I won't ever let that happen again."

"You see what he does, he has you talking crazy." Henry then turned his fury to Jude, "You are nothing but poison and you've been just that since the day you were born. I look into your eyes and see nothing but evil. If I didn't know better I'd think you're the devil himself. Everyone's always saying that you and Noah are identical, on your best day, you are nothing like him." Henry spat at his youngest son, with so much disdain both Jude and Noah were frozen where they stood. He then headed towards the kitchen without a word.

"I think I better leave Noah."

"No! Jude, stay. Please."

Before Jude or Noah could argue the point, they heard their father's heavy steps re-enter the room.

Pointing his shot gun at Jude, his father warned, "I asked you to leave nicely Jude. You have 30 seconds to get the hell out of here, or the sheriff will be dragging your sorry ass out of my house in a body bag."

The brothers traded looks of disbelief but knew that reasoning with Henry would have been futile.  Jude nodded in the direction of his brother, walking backwards to the door.    

Once he reached his truck Jude exhaled the breath that he had been holding. He gripped the steering wheel, cursing what his life had become; living in exile from his mother and brother.  No matter what he did, he could never please their father. As a child it hurt him to know that he looked exactly like Noah, yet his father saw him so differently. He pushed his head into the head rest and took a minute to get his thoughts together as he prepared to get back on the road to Savannah.

Starting his ignition to leave, he quickly killed it when a shot gun blast rang through the air. Jude hastily jumped out of the cab and raced up the porch steps. He flung open the front door, terrified at what was possibly behind it.

He entered the house and looked around the dining room and living room; it was as he had just left it. He called out for Noah but didn't get an answer. He heard noises coming from somewhere in the house and moved towards the sound. He slowly crept to the kitchen door, unsure of what he would find there. He was paralyzed on the spot when he walked into the small space and saw Noah leaning over their father.

"I ...I... didn't mean to kill him Jude." Noah rushed out with tears in his eyes.  Jude could only blink at the sight in front of him, his mouth was moving but no words were coming out.    

***************

Present day

Noah startled awake. He'd lost count of the times that he had experienced that same dream sequence. Only it wasn't a dream; it was his life. It was his choice that day to shoot their father and his selfish decision to let Jude punish for his crime.

He often thought back on the day that had changed their lives forever and wished that he could undo everything. Some nights he wept until there were no more tears left to shed and often prayed that both he and Jude would find a way through all the hurt and pain to be brothers again. They needed closure and forgiveness.  

He looked over to Samara who was still sleeping soundly and quickly kissed her forehead. Noah was happy that he didn't disturb her sleep.  Looking at the time on his cell phone he quietly got up. He needed to talk with Jude; he hoped that he was back.

*********************

It had been a week since he and Jude had their fiery exchange near the lake and Noah was panicked. He could feel Jude's turmoil and was hoping that he didn't do anything rash. Millie tried to reassure him that it wasn't uncommon for Jude to disappear for days at time. But she reluctantly admitted that this was the longest he had ever been gone. Knowing that his twin was out there alone and hurting because of him made Noah a little depressed.

He tried to maintain a cheery disposition for the benefit of Samara but it was to no avail.  Noah knew that he had to come clean to Samara about the real reason Jude had left in the middle of the night. Jude was partially right, he was a coward; but to him, the motives were completely selfless. He remembered Samara's state of mind when they first met and he didn't ever want that for her ever again. 

Noah found his way to the patio, where Samara sat reading the morning paper and sipping coffee.

"Good Morning, Babe."

"Hey yourself, I thought that I'd let you sleep in a bit; you were restless last night."  Noah had been in a sullen mood since Jude left, after their blow up at the lake.

"Yes, I guess I was. Sorry about that." Sitting down at the table next to her, he reached for her hand.  "Honey, I need to talk with you."

"Of course what's on your mind?" Samara asked, watching her husband for any signs of discomfort.

"I...let's go for a walk; it is absolutely beautiful this morning."

"OK..." Samara agreed but sensed that something was off about Noah. She knew that he was still in a somber mood from Jude's hasty retreat from the ranch; and she tried everything to lift his spirits but nothing seemed to work.

Sensing her uneasiness, Noah moved to her and gave her a kiss on her lips, "I am fine, I promise."

The pair walked hand in hand in companionable silence, along the winding pebbled path that lead to the trout stream. The lush green landscape stood in contrast to his grey mood; and the smell of the sweet grass and fragrant wild flowers did very little rid the foul odor of melancholy that permeated the air. 

Samara had tried everything to lift his spirits the last few days, but her efforts were did little to pull Noah out of his funk. She'd even asked if he wanted to cut their trip short and return home to Charleston, but he refused to leave without settling things with his brother.

Noah slowed his steps as they approached the huge piece of sand stone that sat just at the stream's edge. "Come sit with me, darlin'." Noah patted the spot next to him and Samara quickly sat.

"First I want to tell you how much I love you and how much I've appreciated you support in my reconciliation with Jude." Noah sighed and took her hands and gave them a quick kiss.

"What is it Noah? You are scaring me. Have you spoken to your Doctors?" Samara searched his eyes for answers but only saw the sadness that had been lingering for the past few days.

"No. I am fine, well as best as can be expected, given the circumstances." He kissed her forehead, a thank you for her concern.

"Then please tell me what's wrong. I know that you are upset over Jude, but you knew that this could happen...he just needs some time himself to sort out his feelings. You know, forgiving you can't be that easy for him."

"Yes. I get that." Noah looked to her knowingly, "That's what I wanted to talk with you about, actually."

"So talk."

Noah took a minute to gather his thoughts and build up his courage to say the things to his wife that he knew no matter how delicate he was she would be annoyed at him; and rightfully so. He looked at her, watching as the cool morning breeze gently caressed Samara's tresses. He took a deep breath and stood up, standing in front of her but staring at the stream.

"Do you remember when we first met at Monaco?" Noah asked her rhetorically. "You were having dinner alone on your graduation day. I remember watching as you got out of your car." His eyes met hers and he smiled. "There you were, still in your graduation gown and when you came into the restaurant, I kept looking for your family. The waiter sat you at your table and still no one. I watched and waited and still no family, no friends; no one."

"Noah....I was..."

"You were so beautiful; but not even that big beautiful smile of yours could hide the sadness that I saw in your eyes that day."

"I was alone, but I was not lonely. I was used to being by myself." Samara assured, reaching for his hands.

"I know, darlin'; but I also remembered the look on your face when the waiter brought the bottle of champagne that I sent over, to toast your success."

"That was really sweet of you. I was surprised that someone even noticed me or the fact that I was alone on my graduation day." She smiled at him.

"Not just anyone, Mari. Me."

She kissed him lightly on his lips, "And I love you for it." He pulled her closer to him and they both enjoyed the warmth of the embrace.

"I promised myself that day, that you would never know another sad day like that again if I could help it." Holding her tighter, he kissed the top of her head. He took in the feel of their bodies together and the scent of her jasmine lavender fragrance. He took in the memory of this moment for his tough days ahead.

Samara knew that as the weeks turned into months, they would be forced to have these types of deep emotional conversations; and though she knew that they were necessary, she was dreading it. But if Noah felt like having that type of conversation right now, she would put on a brave face and endure everything she had to so the he was comforted.

"But now I know that I, I have to break that promise; not by choice, never by choice. But by happenstance." Noah moved to look into her eyes, wistfully. "I always want to know that you are loved and protected; and that you feel as much. That's why I've asked Jude to take care of you when I'm gone." He waited for her reaction to his statement but didn't immediately get one. "Did you hear me Mari?

"Yes, but I don't think that was necessary, Noah. Jude has a lot going on in his own life and the last thing he needs is to babysit me because you asked him to." Samara laughed. "I'm tough Noah, as hard as it will be. I will somehow manage."

"I know you are. That's one of the things that I love about you. I've asked him to make sure that you do not mourn me longer than is necessary. To make sure that your energies are focused elsewhere."

"What are you talking about?" retreating from his arms, she looked at him quizzically. "You can't put a time limit on grieving, Noah."

"No, but if you have more important things to be concerned about, then that becomes a moot point darlin'."

"What could be more important than honoring your memory?" Samara demanded; becoming slightly irritated by the turn in the conversation.

Noah hesitated and paced back and forth. He took a deep breath and looked to her. "A baby, our baby."

Samara stared at her husband disbelievingly. She couldn't believe that he had just uttered those words to her.

"A baby...Noah, you know that...it's not possible anymore." Samara whispered, hoping that it hid the quiver in her voice. She quickly averted her eyes fighting the tears that glittered on her lids.

Noah immediately rushed to her, taking her in his arms. He gently ran his hands up and down her back to soothe her. Seeking his comfort, Samara buried her face further into his chest. He knew that this conversation wasn't going to be easy but the last thing that he wanted to do was make her cry.

"It is possible, if Jude is the father."

"Jude?"

"I've asked him already and he will do it if that's what you want." Samara stiffened upon hearing Noah's statement.

"What do you mean you mean you've asked him already?" Samara demanded, "Is this the reason why Jude disappeared in the middle of the night. After everything that he's been through, everything that you put him through, you've pressured him into this?" Samara screamed.

Noah sighed. He was frustrated. Why didn't they both get it? Why couldn't they see what he was attempting to do?

"I asked Jude for this favor, my dying wish, when I first came here to see him. I wanted his forgiveness and...for our baby. I know that it isn't possible for us anymore; at least not the way we planned. But we have a very unique opportunity to both be happy. That's all I want, to see my beautiful wife happy and pregnant with our baby before I..."

"Noah," Samara interrupted, "Don't, we don't have to do this right now. We can talk about this some other time."

He planted a tender kiss on her forehead and uttered a sad laugh, "Time...it is a relative to a dying man, babe. We both know that if it doesn't happen soon, well..."

Noah...this...I can't" Samara whimpered. "I know what you want me to say. But you have to give me time to think about something like this." Turning her back to him, she faced the stream watching the soft ripples in the water.

"And I wish I could give it you darlin' but I don't have any left to spare." He watched her as she looked off into the distance.

"Mari, Honey...I would never ask you to anything that didn't want to. But I have to tell you that I need you to do this. I need you to have our baby to focus on after I'm gone. I need you to live and be happy and not die along with me. I need you to love and take care of Jude, the way that I didn't. Once I'm gone, his family will be no more; he'll be alone, again. He'll need you Mari and your baby too, to finally have the happiness and family that he deserves. You can give him that comfort; the love of his family, something that he has never really known. Something that you‘ll need as well." Noah pleaded through tears that began falling on their own.

Samara heard the quiver in his voice and his words broke her heart. She turned to face him. She looked into his eyes and saw the seriousness there. He truly had thought this through. She knew that he was feeling guilty for the two families that he sacrificed; his immediate family and the one that he never started with her.

"Noah, what you are asking....right now I don't know if a baby is the best thing for us. We have so much to face, a baby can only complicate things." Samara uttered through tears of her own.

"For the time that we have left together, we can face anything. And when I can't, then you'll have Jude to depend on." Noah assured wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Let's have a baby, Mari." 

"I love you for thinking about my happiness when you have more important things to consider." Samara took his hands in hers, "But, this is too much to digest, right now."

"I am dying Mari...what else is there to consider. Everything I own is yours...do I want to die in the hospital or at home? Home.  So see, there is nothing left to think about." Noah snapped, he didn't mean to but he was tired of fighting and just wanted this one little thing. Was this really too much to ask of the two people he loved the most in his life.

"You want me to just blindly say yes to your demands?" Samara mocked, "You have decided that Jude should father a child for us because you want it and how am I supposed to react to that. Oh yeah, you have that trump card to play, death. But I have news for you Mr. Mathers, you may be dying but you are not dead. So you don't get to make decisions that would impact on our lives and expect me to just agree."

"That's not what I was trying to do." Noah ran a hand through his locks trying to find the right words for this situation.

"Then please enlighten me." Samara fumed.

"For the past year, I have watched you be a brave little soldier for me, always putting my needs before your own. The one regret that I have Mari is that I never found the time to start our family. I know that you would make an exceptional mother. And nothing would bring me joy in my last days than watching you grow heavy with our baby." Samara softened at his words.

With foreheads touching, he continued, "Seeing the manifestation of our love swell in you would make this man happier than words could convey. I know how much you want to have our child, Mari and this is the only way that I know how to give that to you. That's all I want babe, to see that symbol of our love every day, until the day I die."

Samara reached for him and he sat them down on the huge sand stone on the bank. They held each other and cried. She knew that she had to say yes to this; though had so many questions and needed to think on it some more.

She took a deep breath, but didn't move from the spot where she sat, "Jude has agreed to this? Can he fit this into his schedule?" Samara asked, "Insemination is more than just depositing in a cup."

Her mind churned with a thousand questions. She quickly shot up from her seat and paced back and forth in front of Noah. "I mean there are tests and doctors' appointments, psych evaluations, conception doesn't just happen overnight. Will he come to Charleston, how long can he stay...?"  

"Mari," Noah cut her off, "I thought about all of that and he hesitated; I've asked Jude to umm...inseminate, naturally." He gulped not knowing what her reaction would be.

What Noah expected, was for Samara to yell and scream, to walk off, or curse even. What he didn't expect was the hand that covered the right side of his face. The echo of their skin colliding with each other stung in their ears. And her reaction shocked both of them.

"How dare you...." Samara started but her tears barred her from finishing her statement. Before she realized it, her feet were carrying her off in the opposite direction of her stunned husband.

"Samara, Honey please let me explain." Noah quickly shot up to catch her. He reached for her arm and pulled her to him. "Please, calm down, let me..."

"Calm down? You tell your brother that it was ok for him to have sex with me. What am I the resident campus slut? Huh? The easy lay at the frat house?" Samara screamed at a stunned Noah.  

His eyes widen at her remark and he stood frozen. He couldn't react to her words and the slap still had him stunned.

"Do you think that I would just agree to have sex with your brother? I have loved you since the day we met. Never once, since that day has there been anyone else." She cried, pulling away from him, "What kind of woman do you think I am Noah?"

"No Mari, it wasn't like that. I just wanted..." Noah stammered, still trying to calm her down.

"You wanted what dammit?" Samara screeched. "Even though you are dying Noah, I could never hurt you like that. For you to even think that I would have sex with someone else... that hurts, that hurts so much. "

Crying into his chest, Noah held onto a sobbing Samara. Jude was right he didn't once think that this would be her reaction. He knew that she would be shocked at the idea but would come around to his line of thinking once they talked about it.

"I am so sorry Mari; I never intended to hurt or insult you. I swear."

"How could you even suggest that I...that Jude and I..."

Lifting her chin, off of his chest so that he could see her face, "I want more than anything to give you a baby, honey. I can't. But Jude can."

"I get that Noah, but...sleeping with Jude...that's..." Samara couldn't find the words to complete her thought but nothing adequate surfaced.

"It's practical."

"What do you mean?"

"Samara, you have sacrificed so much for me and..."

"It's not a sacrifice if whatever you do is for the happiness of someone you love." Samara assured.

"That's true. We haven't made love in over a year..."

"Not so, every time we touch I feel our love." Samara whimpered, "When you lay your head in my lap and I run my fingers through your hair, or when we shower together, when you rub my feet after a long day, we are making love."

To some extent she was right but Noah knew that she needed more than that. He loved sharing those moments and he knew her well enough to know that her body and soul craved more. More than he could now give her.

"Samara, look at me and tell me honestly that you don't miss the true intimacy that we used to share?" Noah demanded, "The pleasure and our passion so hot it could keep us busy for days. The feeling of being loved so thoroughly and completely that after we make love, we are both too weak to do anything other than hold each other. Waking up to slow sensuous lovin' each morning or going to bed exhausted from the same. I love you woman and I can't bear the thought of watching my beautiful, sexy, loving wife wither away because I can't give her the special time and attention that she needs. But I trust my brother enough to share that with you Mari. Jude can...."

"Stop it, stop it, stop!!!" Samara sobbed, "Damn you Noah! Stop this crazy talk right now."

She couldn't believe what Noah was saying. Her husband was standing there giving her the ok to sleep with another man, not just any man, his brother Jude.  

"Those things aren't important, not now. You are the most important thing in my life." Samara hoped that she sounded more convincing to him than she did to herself.

"Don't you see Mari, those things are important. You are too young to have your passion and desire snubbed out, because of my illness."

This was too much. The tears poured faster than she could wipe them away. Noah was serious and she knew that it must have been extremely difficult for him to contemplate something of this magnitude, let alone deciding to share it with both her and Jude. She stared into his golden eyes and saw so much there; hurt, pain, regret, but most of all love. It was the love that she saw in in them that was her undoing.

She cried harder when he reached for her and told her that they would work everything out; his only concern was her wellbeing. Hearing that broke her heart a little, because not only did she feel guilty that she had previous sexual thoughts of Jude; but that her husband had easily seen through her façade. She did indeed miss the intimacy and the intense loving making that they shared. She had tried so hard to hide the feelings that he so aptly described because she knew that as a man it was difficult for him to admit that he could no longer satisfy his wife the way he wanted to, the way he used to.

Noah and Samara sat at the stream holding each other as the morning slowing turned into afternoon.

**************

A few days later

Noah had endured several chilly nights lying next to Samara. She was still a little angry with him, but as Samara had more time to her herself to think on his position, the better she came to understand his reasoning. She always told him that she was alone but she never felt lonely; but upon reflection, she knew that it was a lie. She had been lonely all of those years on her own and Noah had been the spark of light she needed to brighten her life. Facing the possibility of darkness again, she knew that he was right. She would retreat back to that place of isolation.

Honestly, the thought of Jude in her life made her smile. That afternoon that she almost kissed him plagued her for days and she had almost confessed as much to Noah, but didn't; she didn't want to upset his already strained relationship with his brother.  But now, after talking with him, the thought of having Jude's baby actually warmed her heart and that scared her more that she could admit to either man. Was it possible to be in love with two very different men at the same time? She wasn't ready to explore that possibility; just yet.

She loved and adored Noah, but Jude was slowly creeping into her heart. There was something between them, she felt it the moment they met and it had been tugging at her ever since. Initially she chalked it up to, seeing him as the living, breathing, healthy alternative to her dying husband; but the more time she spent with him, she realized that it was more than that. She came to see him as more than just her husband's twin; she saw him for the man that he was, a loving, loyal, caring and giving person who was very easy to love. 

Samara knew what she had to do. Even before that morning with Noah, for some reason she couldn't explain, she was determined to be the one who would comfort Jude and reassure him that it would get better once Noah passed. And it was also important to her, that he saw her as his remaining family. Samara knew that he felt abandoned by his own all those years ago; and she could easily relate to that feeling, having lived through a similar experience after the death of her parents.

Noah told her the decision was hers to make and for Samara on the surface it seemed that it was an easy one. Noah wanted the love of his pregnant wife before he died and Jude would need the love of his family to help him live. She wasn't ready to admit it but she had seriously started to consider his proposal and hoped that her choice was one that they could all live with.

*************************

Samara was on her way back to the ranch house after gathering fruits and vegetables for the evening meal, when she spotted him.

Noah was stretched out on the grass with his hands behind his head. His heart was in the right place and it was hard to stay mad, Samara thought as she watched him.  She placed her basket of goodies down on the ground and kicked off her shoes.

"What are you doing?"

"Cloud gazing." Was Noah's easy response.

Samara looked up towards the cerulean sky which peeked out between the green thickness of the giant trees, dotting the landscape; she quickly got down on the sweet grass to lay next him. The sun's afternoon rays danced over the picturesque montage as Samara and Noah lay starring upwards. The pair watched as the clouds rolled by effortlessly; the fluffy patches moved in slow motion and brought back memories of days gone by.

"When Jude and I were younger we used to lie out in the backyard and spend hours just watching the clouds as they rolled by. We got into so many arguments over whether it was possible to feel a cloud's texture; or whether clouds are individuals or a collective group; or if we could actually follow a cloud on its day's journey."

Noah turned to face Samara, "Some people think that cloud gazing is for kids but more of us adults should engage in it. It is the perfect de-stressor. Watching the clouds magically appear and disappear has such a peaceful effect on your psyche that you can actually feel the dis-ease, stress and uneasiness leave your body. It is hypnotic and can put you in a perfect state of calmness, free from any agitation, excitement, or disturbances."

Gazing into his eyes, Samara reached for his hands, "Wow, when you verbalize it like that, it sounds so..."

"Gay." Jude finished in amusement.

Samara and Noah quickly sat up at the sound of his voice; surprised to see him leaning against the big oak watching them.

Jude stood in the shower with his head against the porcelain tile. He let the heated water pelt his sore muscles and restless soul; while the tile cooled his racing thoughts. He didn't plan to stay away from home for nearly 10 days, but each day just seemed to crawl into the next. And before he realized it more than a week had slipped by.

In the short time that Noah had been back in his life, he had been dealing with a litany of feelings; and he didn't like it. Jude didn't want to examine any of them and he certainly didn't want to go back to sitting on Dr. Dave's couch.

He knew that everyone would be eyeing him with caution because of hs latest retreat. But he needed that time alone. Jude wished that that they could just understand that sometimes he needed to get away from it all to refocus his energy. He had never stayed gone longer than a few days, in the past; but now he needed more time, because his thoughts were everywhere.  He had so much to think about and he just wanted to be alone to do it. These emotions were new to him and it was making him feel as if his skin was on too tight.

The main thing that had him stumped was his growing fixation with Samara. Holding her so close the day she almost slipped out of his truck, had him day dreaming about making love to her all the time. He felt so guilty over that, he did everything he could to avoid her the days thereafter.  What made it worse was Noah insistence that he explore his feelings for her. He couldn't, for fear that he would succumb to his desire to possess her.

Though, Noah kept reminding him that he was dying and Samara's happiness was all that mattered to him, For Jude, Noah was still very much alive and he couldn't accept that his brother was so tolerable of the idea of another man with his wife.  What if his brother wasn't battling Cancer and dying? He questioned himself. Would he be as attracted to Samara? Just thinking about it was making him crazy.

Damn Noah! What kind of man pushes his wife on his brother? And worse what kind of man would actually entertain making moves on his dying brother's wife? Shit! Feeling extremely guilty, for wanting her, had him twisted in knots. Initially, he did feel uneasy about agreeing to be their natural donor, especially after finding out that Samara had no idea what Noah had planned; but Jude slowly warmed to the idea after spending time with her. He really did try to fight the growing feelings that crept into his heart. Yet the more he fought, the stronger they became.  As each day went by, Jude thought of little else except prolonging their time together by getting Samara pregnant. And that only made him feel all the more guilt-ridden.

Noah reassured him that having his baby, would give Samara the comfort that she would need once he was gone; but Jude still couldn't wrap his mind around that. Samara was so loving and supportive of her husband. How could she possibly agree to any of this? How could he? How would she feel about Noah's final wish or about Jude in general? Maybe that's what his fear was about this whole thing? Her rejection of him.  Jude genuinely feared that though he looked like Noah,  Samara would realize that he was nothing like his brother. Just as their father had constantly reminded him so many times before.

Jude would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that some part of him wanted her to desire him above the need for procreation. He was pretty sure that Noah had apprised her of everything in his past and Jude couldn't bear the thought of her regarding him as the flawed character that stared in the melodrama that was his life.  Though they had only known each other for a short time, he wanted  her to see him as the protagonist, in their new story that was evolving each day. He'd never been in a relationship so he wasn't sure that he had enough to offer her. But he knew that above all else, he had this growing need to protect and take care of her. She was everything that he could ever want in a woman, mind, body and soul. And now he wanted her with a need so strong, it forced him into a sort of self-imposed exile.

As he spent the time in solitude, Jude considered their situation from Noah's perspective.  He couldn't imagine what it was like for him to see his wife everyday knowing that in a few months they would no longer be together, she would no longer have his comfort, love or protection. Surely it has to be the hardest torture a man is asked to endure. He thought about his brother spending the days regretting things that he didn't do as a husband or as her friend. Noah shared that his biggest regret was not having children, and that made Jude feel all the more obligated to grant him his dying wish. He knew that Noah's confession was difficult for him to share; but it helped Jude to better understand why his brother was so determined to ensure that Samara was not alone in the world and fully taken care once he passed. Jude had to admit that he would want the same thing if he were in Noah's position.

***************

A Few Days Later

Noah knocked on Jude's office door, not sure if this was the best place to have the conversation that he sure Jude was avoiding for the past few days.

"I hope that I am not bothering you; I know that you have a lot to get done."

"No come in." Jude invited Noah into his office and he took a seat on the edge of his desk.

When Jude returned that afternoon a few days ago, he retreated to his bedroom and stayed there for the rest of the day. He was exhausted both mentally and physically. He was avoiding both Noah and Samara on purpose; wanting only to talk to them when he felt confident enough to face them both.

"Jude, I just want you to know that....."

"Listen, " Jude cut him off, "I'm sorry that I was MIA for the last few days. I Just needed some alone time. I owe you and Samara a week at the ranch, so you're welcome to stay longer if you like."

Noah smiled, "I'd like that. I know Samara would too; she has grown attached to your garden and Legacy too."

"Good; I know Millie likes having her company during the day."

"We missed you at breakfast these last few mornings and I just wanted to make sure that you were ok." Noah looked to his brother cautiously.

"I'm fine. I just had to get a shit load of stuff done this week; and I had to get an early start before my doctor's appointment this morning. That's all."

"Doctor's appointment? Is everything ok?" Noah asked becoming slightly alarmed.

"Yes. It was just a follow up for some tests I had done before I left." Jude answered moving to search his desk for a file.

"Tests? Tests for what Jude?" Noah was suddenly gripped with panic; though his doctors had advised that his cancer wasn't hereditary he still feared that it could afflict Jude.

"Well if I plan on making babies, I have to make sure that all my tools are in working order." He looked up from his desk and to his brother, "Dr. Sudler told me that, I'm a baby making machine." Jude laughed dryly. "This, after she squeezes by ass and winks at me."

Noah laughed too. Dr. Sudler was old enough to be their grandmother and she was known to openly flirt with all the young men she encountered.  His laughter quickly faded, when he realized what Jude's words meant. "Then you will do it, brother?"

Jude looked at Noah and replied, "I will do this for you, twin." Before Jude fully responded, Noah had him wrapped in arms, "Thank you."

Jude didn't say anything in response; he just stood there and returned Noah's hug. To Noah it felt like Christmas and his birthday all in one; and he couldn't be happier, he and Jude could finally head down that path to forgiveness.

 "I spoke with..." Noah started but stopped when Russell came into Jude's office.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you two; I just need final approval on all of these Jude." Russell handed Jude a stack of contracts that needed his signature.

"I can see that you have a lot going on so, I'll just get out of your way." Noah headed for the door but turned back to his brother, "We'll talk later."

"You can stay if you like." Sitting down to sign the contracts that Russell gave him, Jude looked over to a stunned Noah. "That is if you and Samara don't have plans, today."

"No, no plans; Mari was meeting one of her sorority sisters in town for lunch today. I can help out if you need it." Noah replied happily. 

 "Good, I will probably put you to work too. We have quite a few cars to get ready over the next few weeks; so I hope that you can still remember how things work under the hood." Jude handed him the spec documents that he had been reading, "This is the next one up; we have a team meeting in 20 minutes so, this will help to get you up to speed on the project." Noah quickly took the empty seat in front of Jude's desk and started reading the project specs handed to him.

"Oh and if you can spare the time, I may need you to go to a show at the Original Breakers in Palm Beach with Russell."

"The Breakers? Wow! The one that Henry Flagler designed?"

"The very one."

"I'd like that." Noah smiled. Only his brother would understand that for him as the architect, to experience the Breakers design and history in person was like finding one of his classic models that he now kept in cold storage; it was once in a life time.

"I thought you would."

To say Noah was surprised was an understatement. As he sat there in disbelief, Jude just carried on talking with Russell as if it were the most normal thing in the world for them to be working together again. Noah sat there feeling more hopeful that he ever had in the past decade and was happy that he and Jude were now in the process of getting to know each other as men.

As Jude continued signing the forms, Russell smiled at Noah who still sat there in stunned silence. He was happy that the brothers that he loved as his own were taking this time to heal their relationship. Jude wouldn't admit it, but he needed his brother just as much as Noah did.

*************

The Next Morning

It was a beautiful start to the day already, Jude thought as he made his way to the stables for his daily ride on Mercer. The sun had yet to break the horizon but that air was still and crisp. It was a perfect morning for a ride and he knew that Mercer was probably restless, because they hadn't been out in few days. His thoughts were interrupted and he stopped short when he saw Samara, guiding Legacy out of the stables. He was surprised to see her out and about this early in the morning; and by herself at that. Jude watched her as mounted Legacy, and smiled; her skills had improved significantly since the last time that he watched her ride.

Samara heard the heavy fall of his steps before she saw him. She held her breath when she saw his confident sexy stride come into view. His penetrating amber gaze never looked away from her and it made her shudder.

She sat atop Legacy with butterflies fluttering in her stomach and sweaty palms on Jude's approach. Why was she nervous about seeing him? What was so different about being alone with him now, than in the past. If Samara was being honest with herself then she could easily admit that, the difference was now she wanted to be alone with him; she wanted to be close to him. She had to laugh at her silly thoughts, a woman could hope. Hope that a man like Jude wanted to make to love to her because he wanted to; and not because his brother asked him to. Jude could have any woman he wanted; why would he be interested in her that way.

As he made his way down the pebbled path toward the corral, he couldn't help but state at her. She was sitting there looking deliciously tempting and had his pulse racing at this early hour. Wearing a tight black t-shirt that read ‘Mathers Racing,' He smiled at seeing that, jeans and sans make-up; she was a natural beauty. The closer he got to her, the closer he wanted to be to her. And that scared him a little. More than giving her a baby, he wanted her in his life.

"Hey you..." The simple look he gave her, made her catch her breath and want to squeeze her thighs together.

"Hey yourself; what are you doing up so early?" he asked; hoping that his immediate reaction to her nearness wasn't evident.

"I've been up for a while I couldn't sleep. I was helping Mille ice cupcakes for Lily's party. So when Eli came by to pick them up and get Lily's pony, I asked him to saddle up Legacy for me."

"I see that you've been practicing. You look more relaxed now."

"Yes. Just about every morning; I do feel more comfortable on her now."

"Great; so that means that you don't need any more lessons?"

"I can trot along all by myself." She smiled. "But what I really want is to build up to galloping. What's the fun in horseback riding if you can't ride off into the sunset with your hair whipping in the breeze."

Jude laughed as she shook her hair dramatically. "You want to gallop? Noah hasn't taken you out to do that yet?"

"No. He hasn't felt up to it."

"If you want to; we can go right now; I was about to take Mercer out for our usual morning ride."

"Will you?" she brightened.

"Sure; if you don't mind us riding on Mercer."

"No." Was her quick response, as he walked over to them to take the harness.

Jude took the reins to lead Legacy back into the stables. He smiled at her excitement and thought about all of the emotions that she was starting to dig out of him. She was making him think about a life that he always thought was only reserved for others but never for him; and he was starting to like it.

----------------------------

Jude insisted that they gallop on Mercer, because he was much bigger than Legacy; and could support both of their weights. He helped her up on his saddle and quickly got behind her.

"Once we start; you can lean into me if you get nervous." He offered. "If I'm going to fast, just yell at me to slow down."

"Ok."

"And if I feel you drifting, I'll pull you closer to me."

Samara nodded her head ok in understanding.

When his hands brushed her thighs to gather the horse's reins, Samara sighed and imagined his hands slowly moving all over her body; especially touching the spot that he narrowly missed.

"Ready?"

"Yes." Was her whispered response; being this close to Jude was already having an effect on her.

As soon as they took off, Samara leaned into his warmth and Jude tighten the arm that was around her middle. He didn't anticipate the intense sexual burning that quickly surfaced and it made his blood boil with want.

The sensation of sitting so close to each other on Mercer was causing both riders to reluctantly admit to themselves, that they missed being in the arms of a lover. This type of closeness with another was a desperate need in both of their lives.  It had been over a year since Noah and Samara made love; and for Jude it had been two years since he shared himself with a woman; and never was it with someone he loved.

Jude inhaled her citrusy scent, loving the feel of her silky strands tickling the sides of his face and chin. Leaning into his body, Samara was fully aware that he was now evoking thoughts and feelings that were once only reserved for Noah. Jude holding her so close was making it difficult to think of little else besides making love with him.

His heat was pulsating with every stride Mercer made; and the intensity of want radiating from their bodies was quickly melting his defenses. Jude knew he had to fight his body's reaction to her; as one errand touch could lead to something more. He quickly chastised himself for the thought, though her nearness threatened to conjure up even more explicit images.

Samara's breathing changed when his hands accidently brushed the underside of her breasts, and he quickly apologized to her. As much as he wanted to touch them, he was trying to being careful not to do so; lest he gave into the urges to find a quiet spot to make love to her, as the sun came into view.

Her bouncing mounds slapped his hands and her nipples tightened at the accidental contact.  Samara was glad that Jude was behind her; otherwise he may have seen her eyes roll into her head at the slight caress. She shuddered when she felt his hands and was tempted to feign ignorance and thrust her breasts into his palms.

Feeling Mercer moving so powerfully between her legs, she closed her eyes and imagined that it was Jude pounding deep into her. The thrill of that possibility sent a shiver down her spine and a fiery throb to her hot spot. His strong arms were wrapped around her waist, as he pulled her closer to his body. Her ass was practically in his lap and she could feel him growing hard underneath her. When she felt his warm breath tickle her ear, asking her if she was ok; Samara thought that she would climax right there.

Suddenly shame took a hold of her. They had not even talked about or committed to making a baby, yet; but here she was day dreaming about him deep inside her. What made it worse was that her thoughts were not for the purpose of conception; it was only to sate her sexual wants.

When Jude thought that they had gone as far as he could manage without dragging her off the horse to feed their hunger for each other, he slowed Mercer to a light trot so that their bodies could become un-glued.

"How was that for your first gallop?" He managed to get out, still hold her close.

Being so close to you had me thinking of other things. Samara thought to herself. "Fast...I barely remembered what I saw on our way here." She rushed out, still reeling from his touch.

He dismounted Mercer first, and then helped her off.

"Come here, I want to show you something."

Jude took her hand and led her to the spot that he wanted her to see. She gasped when her eyes met, what he had just pointed out. The open pasture was blanketed in wild flowers are far as the eyes could see.

"Did you plant all of these?" Samara grinned.

"No, I think that the previous owners did."

"This is incredible."

Jude watched her as she silently examined the blooms. She looked up at him with her big smile and it instantly warmed his heart.

"Is this your quiet spot?"

"One of them." Jude returned walking over to her.

"You know you try to project this tough guy image, with your bikes and fast cars and all; but I know better. You are nothing but a big ole softy." She laughed.

"You think so?" Jude smirked with his arm folder across his chest.

"I know it. You brought me here to see these flowers didn't you?"

Jude smiled at her observation; and the moment she saw his pearly whites break into a smile at her, she wanted nothing more than to launch herself into his arms.

When he took his impromptu sabbatical, she realized just how much she missed him. At that point it dawned on her how much time they had been spending together; whether it morning coffee on the deck, in his gardens, down by the stream with him teaching her how to fish, trotting back and forth on Legacy. At every opportunity that presented itself she would find a way to be alone with him.

When she first met him, she was immediately drawn to him and it scared her. Not because she thought ill of him; but because it overwhelmed her. In the short time that she'd known him, he managed to earn a special place in her heart; and she liked him being there.

Samara was enjoying this quiet time with Jude. The pair continued on walking through the pasture in companionable silence taking in the dawn of a new day, when she stopped suddenly to look at him and smiled, "Thank you for sharing this with me, Jude."

***************

A Week Later

"Well Russell, please let the Gasten's know that I rarely indulge in public appearances, so you're as good as it gets." Jude advised, pacing the kitchen; he thought about all of the other things he had to get done.

"Jude, come on; they have been very loyal clients over the years. You can spare one day?" Russell tried to negotiate.

"I know that they wanted me to accompany the cars to the showing but that is something that I don't do. I know that they are very good clients, but I just don't have time to do it." Jude exhaled a deep breath.

"This is one of the biggest shows of the year. Which translates into more clients for us? All the high society types will be there. So should you."

 "Remind me again, exactly what it is I pay you to do?"

"I know what you pay me fore Jude, I take care of this type of stuff; but they did ask for you personally."

"Listen Russ, please just let them know that I am extremely busy but for their next event, I will send the 1936 Mercedes Benz cruiser as their show piece. How's that?"

"The cruiser, they'll love that."

"Good. Can I go now?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Call me when you guys get down there. Oh and thanks Russell."

"Anytime, Jude."

Jude knew that Russell meant well and he was right. He should be the one headed to Palm Beach for the annual Land Sea Air Vintage Showcase & Auction; but he had at least 5 cars that he was still working on and on top of that he was taking yet another impromptu vacation.

---------------------------------

 "Samara." Jude called as he exited the kitchen heading towards the sunroom. His phone call to the office ensured that they could head to beach just like she wanted; he hoped that she would be happy with his news.

Samara was sitting in the sunroom with several books in front of her. He knew that she was disappointed that her weekend plans to visit Tybee Island were scrapped when Noah jumped at the chance to accompany Russell to West Palm Beach instead.  Jude hated that she was disappointed and it was partly his fault for suggesting that Noah take the trip; so as a consolation, he cleared his schedule to surprise her with the new plans.

"Hey you." she smiled placing her books on the end table. "What are you still doing here? I thought you left for the office already."

"I decided to work from home this morning; I figured we could head to Tybee in time for lunch?"

She was completely caught off guard with the news. She knew that Jude and his team were extremely busy with several big upcoming shows and auctions. Even Noah, was helping out. He can't go. He can't spare the time. He has more than a couple of cars to ready for auction.

"I thought you had some big projects to complete?" she asked suspiciously.

"Change of plans." He simply stated. Though he needed to have the three cars that his team was currently working on ready for auction next week, he knew that he couldn't do his best working thinking about her being at home all alone and mopey.

"Are you sure that this little trip isn't keeping you away from something more important?"

Nothing is more important than you. "No, nothing." Jude assured.

"Are you sure?" Samara was still eyeing him doubtfully; but excited about a possibility of a weekend away at the beach.

"Yep." He countered with a devious smile.

"Then give me 10 minutes to pack a bag." She beamed, jumping from the chair and running out the door.

-----------------------------------

 In the midst of her packing, she abruptly stopped and returned to the kitchen where Jude was working on his lap top. He was so engrossed in what he was doing that he didn't hear her come in. She stood and watched him work for few moments before interrupting him.

He had prints and specs of cars all over the kitchen table. He was taking her to see Tybee, even though he did have work to do; she knew it. She debated whether or not if she should tell him that this trip could wait. But in the short time that she'd been in his company, Samara knew that once Jude's mind was made up there was no changing it. So she decided that she would do the next best thing.

"Jude." Samara uttered softly; not wanting to really disturb him from his tasks.

"Huh." He muttered, chewing on the end of his pen, but not looking up.

She walked over to him, taking his face in her hands, and planted a soft kiss on his lips, "Thank you." She whispered, leaving a startled Jude to his work.

--------------------------------------------

Jude sat in the foyer and checked email messages on his phone, while he waited for Samara to come downstairs.

"I'm ready." Samara stated, walking down the staircase to place her weekender at the door. "But I do have one small request."

"What's that?" Jude asked, putting his phone away.

"Can we take the Healey?"

Jude's head immediately shot up, "Is that right?" Her bold request to drive to the beach in his $500,000 vintage 1956 Austin Healey Roadster caught him off guard. And it also caused him to break out in a thunderous laugh.

"Are you serious? The Healey? The one I purchased from the original owner? The one that has the original paint job and interior? Do you know what that salty sea air does to a car's paint job?" he asked amused, but the look on her face told him she was serious.

"That same one and I'm pretty sure that you have a garage, right?" She pondered. "Besides, we can park it once we're there and play tourists for the next few days."

She was waiting for his answer. "Of all the cars that I have in my collection, that's the one you want to take on a road trip to the beach?" Jude rubbed his hands over his face, still undecided.

"I could have easily asked to take the Shelby." She smirked, knowing that Jude would have said no instantly at her request to take his multi-million dollar rare 1967 Shelby Cobra Roadster race car to the beach.

"I know the Healey is one of your treasured classics; but I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her in your showroom...please say yes."

She was something else, Jude thought. One look into her big brown eyes, he knew that he was going to cave; he was going to call Russell to tell him have it ready in 30 minutes.

It was a rare to find a classic car like that in mint or near mint condition. So the fact that he owned one that was in pristine shape made it all the more revered.  

"You want to ride in the Healey?" He stalled.

"Yes, I really do." Was her enthusiastic response...can we? Tybee isn't that far away; so you won't put too many miles on her.  It would be so old school Hollywood glam." She batted her eyelashes in attempt to seem dreamy. "You could be Cary Grant and I could be Dorothy Dandridge."

Jude laughed at her coquettish attempt; anything you want Samara; he thought but did not say aloud. "You know that they never starred in a movie together, right?" he pointed out, reaching for his cell phone to call Russell.

"Yes, but they should have; those two look good together. Just like we will, cruising into town in our chic classic roadster. Come on let's do it." She urged.

"Are you sure, you're a teacher? Because I think I may have a sales position for you...if it means that much to you, we can take the Healey."

"Yes!!" She yelled, pumping her fist and going into Noah to give him a high five.

 "Wait, wait, wait... there is one condition" Jude cautioned, "You have to clean out every grain of sand that ends up in the interior."

"Deal. Give me a minute to change." She yelled running upstairs.

Confused Jude asked, "Change? I thought we were ready to leave."

"That was before. If we are going to cruise into Tybee in the Healey, I have go get Hollywood glam." Gesturing at her current state of dress that consisted of a loose ponytail, denim shorts, a white tank top that read ‘reading rocks' and flip flops. 

In her best Hollywood starlet voice, flicking her tresses over her shoulder she advised, "I have to be paparazzi ready. I'll be down in a few dahling... toodles."

Jude laughed as she blew kisses to him from the landing and then headed to her suite, to change.

-------------------------------------

Jude sat down to make his call to Russ; If Samara had asked for the moon just then, he probably would have run out to buy a space craft; just to go get it for her. Shit! She had him.

"Russell, before you leave for Palm Beach, get the Healey ready." Jude barked without a hello to his friend.

"The Healey?" Russell stuttered in disbelief.

"Yes, I said the Healey." Jude repeated.

"What's going on? Is this for a show?"

 "No it isn't for a show. I am taking her to Tybee Island for the weekend."

"The Healey. The one that you own, is this a joke?"

"No, this isn't a joke?"

"Is this Jude?"

"Dammit, Russ! Yes this is Jude, who else would it be." Jude snapped.

"You are taking the Healey to the beach?"

"That's what I just said."

 "Wow! Are you trying to impress someone?"

"Russell..."Jude warned.

"What? I'm just saying that whoever she is; she must be something else. I mean to sweet talk you into that one." Russell let out a whistle, "I don't remember you ever driving the Healey on the streets."

"Just take her out and make sure she's good, ok." Jude replied but didn't elaborate on who ‘she' was.

He half listened to Russell babble on in disbelief at his request to ready the roadster; Jude rarely took her out for shows and hardly ever drove her. He started the car every few weeks to make sure that she was still in tip top shape; and he probably only drove it around the compound once every six months. So it came as a complete surprise to Russell that he would actually take her out of storage for a drive to the beach. The Healey was a true piece of art and one of the few cars that he would never consider selling from his collection. So for him to even contemplate driving it to the beach was a very big deal. But Jude didn't care about that now; if cruising in it made Samara happy that was all that mattered to him.

Jude smiled as his thoughts drifted to the pixie upstairs getting "glammed up". Jude wanted to tell that she was already perfect and there was nothing she could do to make herself more beautiful. 

He couldn't stop thinking about her soft plush lips on his, from her kiss earlier in the kitchen. The kiss that she laid on his lips was so gentle and warm, that it sent Jude immediately into a sense of calmness. It completely caught him off guard and it was a good thing. Otherwise, had he given himself time to react to that shy, soft kiss, it may have grown into something bolder; like them making love right there on the table.

For the past few weeks, just being near her was wreaking havoc on his libido. Jude was fighting the desire to be with her every day. So what was he thinking spending 2 days alone with her?  Dr. Dave warned him that when he was ready to be in a physical relationship again he'd know it; because his body would wrestle his brain for control and his body would win. He didn't get it then. But now he fully understood.

He killed his thoughts from drifting further when he heard her suite door closed.  He looked up when he heard her steps hit the stairs. Samara now sported a white floral bandeau style romper cinched at the waist. The top strained against her ample breasts, giving him full view of her hardened peaks; and the shorts that stopped mid-thigh, left her toned bronzed legs fully exposed to his gaze. Her thick black tresses that he'd come to love, dusted her shoulders in soft curls and a light pink gloss covered her lips.

On her approach, his pulse speed up and the words that he was about to utter to her died on his lips; he stared at the beauty coming down the stairs towards him and smiled. She was beautiful and his manhood saluted in response to seeing her.

"So, am I paparazzi ready for a weekend away at the beach?" she asked with a timid smile.

"Yes." Jude replied staring into her eyes; he wanted to say more but he couldn't. She had rendered him speechless.

Wanting to do the right thing for both of them, Jude resolved to discuss Noah's wishes with her this weekend; and get her thoughts on the whole situation. He wanted them to come to a mutual decision that they could both live with and not be guided by their obvious attraction to each other. 

He offered his hand to her, "Shall we go?"

"Yes!" she replied enthusiastically reaching for it.

As her white stilettoed feet hit the last stair, Jude realized that spending the weekend alone with Samara, at his beach house was going to be one of his greatest challenges. She was slowly becoming his weakness. Hell, who was he kidding; she already was.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Just for fun: Pictures of the Hot Hollywood couple that never was. And the Classic 1956 Austin Healey Roadster.

Dorothy Dandridge                                    Cary Grant

The Classic Austin Healey Roadster

"Jude, I love the landscaping. It's so lush and green." Samara rambled on once they were out of the car.

"God you sound like Noah, going on and on about flowers and greenery, blah blah blah...blaah blaah blaah." Jude joked, gathering their bags.

"No I don't..." Samara laughed, reaching for her hat off the seat. "I was about to compliment you on your green thumb capabilities; but now I think I won't."

"Who said I did the landscaping?" Jude asked removing his sun glasses and eyeing her with amusement.

"I know you did. It's your style." She winked at him.

"Come on let's get inside. It's hot out here." He insisted, smiling at her.

"Are you sure this is your beach house?" Samara asked, stopping at the first step up the porch.

"Yeah. Why?" Jude asked, with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Because this is no house, Jude; this is a freakin' hotel."

Jude burst out laughing at her excitement.

"Trust me, it only looks big on the outside." He assured. "It's much cozier inside."

The structure was a modern seaside cottage painted a soft yellow trimmed in white with, a wraparound porch that was a wonderful compliment to the towering hand carved doors that stood guard at the entrance.

"Wow, where did you find these doors?"

"A salvage yard, I think that they used to be church doors but I'm not sure."

Jude stepped around her to open the doors, "Welcome to Casa del mar." Opening the heavy wooden door, he ushered Samara inside the house.

Upon entry, guests were welcomed in with a fantastic view of the beach just steps away. High ceilings and huge picture glass windows on the opposite side of the room greeted them, and highlighted the open and airy features of the entire house.

Looking around the space, Samara couldn't help but gush, "I love it! And this view is spectacular."

Samara was immediately bowled over by the high drama of his beach house. The common living area was one big open space and decorated in a nautical theme. Outfitted in salvaged and refurbished boat furniture in creams, blues, and whites the house looked like a model home for Coastal Living magazine. 

Rushing to take in more of the view she left Jude standing at the door. "But we'll have to come up with a better name than house by the sea."

He smiled; pleased that she liked his beach retreat.

"Did you do all of this?" she asked gesturing at the beautifully decorated space.

"No, I didn't. Eli actually gets all of the credit."

"Eli? Millie's son?"

"Yep. He's a wiz at this sort of thing. I had a client who couldn't pay his invoice once we were done with his car. But he needed the money from the sale of that car to help with some family problems; so he offered me the beach house in lieu of cash. The house was worth more than my bill but you'd never know it; you should have seen this place before Eli got a hold of it. It was nothing but a dump; but he saw the potential and was sure that he could turn this into something spectacular and he did."

"He really did. Jude, this house is amazing. I can't wait to see the rest."

"I like each one of my homes to have a little something extra; and the view of the beach is definitely the something extra here."

"This is really breathtaking. And the furniture is I don't know? Wow." Moving to the bar area she ran her hands over the repurposed captain chairs that now functioned as bar stools.

"Eli actually made most of it." Jude pointed out.

"He did?"

"He has real talent. And he believes in recycling. You should see the furniture he made for the cabin."

"Cabin? So, how many homes do you own?" Samara asked, still in awe of her surroundings.

"I own a few. But if you specifically mean how many do I actually spend time in?" Jude smiled, "Then that number is 4."

"Four homes?" Samara asked incredulously.

Jude laughed at her reaction, "Yes, I get a little restless sometimes so I like to have options; there's the ranch house, the townhouse on the square, this beach house, and a cabin in the north Georgia Mountains."

"You own a cabin close to home?" Samara asked, referring to the Mathers' family home in Raburn County.

"Oh god no, I never want to see that place again; no, my cabin is near Blue Ridge." Jude answered, putting their bags down near the hallway.

"Noah took me to Clayton once, it's quaint." 

"Code word for....?" Jude asked deviously.

"Code word for nothing, it was nice." She smiled, walking back to the large window.

**************

Showing her to her the first bed room, Jude watched as she enthusiastically appraised her sleeping quarters.

"Oh my, this is perfect." Samara exclaimed, looking back at him.

The room was done in crisp clean white furnishings except for the custom made pieces. The bed's headboard and footboard was made from salvaged driftwood. She didn't know how Eli created it but it was truly a work of art. And the window seats made from recycle picket fence material, were too cute.

"I love this room. It is perfect" She looked around taking in the numerous windows and then she spotted it; easy access to the beach.

Opening the French doors that lead to deck, was like welcoming in a new day. The sunshine felt heavenly on her skin; and the blue of the ocean that dominated the view looked so tempting that she couldn't wait to go for a swim.

Jude watched her as she excitedly drank in the inviting beach scenery, and was enjoying her reactions to the new surroundings. Samara had a way of putting him at ease and liked having her around. 

Rushing back inside, she tossed her hat on the bed.

"OK, so the first thing that I want to do is to grab lunch down on the boardwalk. Then on to the lighthouse, oh and I have to see Ft. Pulaski."

"Whoa, slow down there...we aren't leaving until Sunday. We have plenty of time to see the sights. You won't miss a thing."

She stopped moving and looked over at him, "Ok, but I'm going to hold you to that. You promise?"

"I do." Jude promised. "Let's go have lunch."

This is going to be a long weekend; he thought to himself.

********************

"So seafood then?" Samara asked as she and Jude strolled along the boardwalk. They had been going back and forth about what to eat for lunch.

"Umm...No...I was thinking that we could do a seafood boil tonight for dinner?"

"That sounds yummy, so should we do something light now and then stop back at that seaside market on the way back home for our dinner items?"

"That sounds like a plan. We can just walk until something catches your eyes. Whatever you want; this is your weekend."

"Good; does that mean I can have ice cream for breakfast?" Samara grinned.

Jude stopped walking and turned to look at her, with a smirk on his face. "No...now stay focused; we are on a lunch finding mission."

Jude heard her grumble something about not really having anything you want, if can't get ice cream for breakfast and laughed at her antics. She reached for his hands as they continued walking along the boardwalk; he liked the feeling of holding her hands and enjoyed watching her reaction to everything she saw. 

Samara was loving her leisurely stroll with Jude; truth was she wasn't really that hungry, she just enjoyed being with him. Here at the beach he seemed so relaxed and at peace, which was in contrast to his usual persona. He wasn't even wearing his trademark motorcycle boots, denim jeans and dark t-shirt. Instead he wore light linen pants, a white polo shirt and of all things on his feet, Italian leather driving shoes. When she asked him about them on the drive here, he jokingly replied that they were his contribution to the whole Hollywood glam vibe she was going for. She smiled at that; he was so accomodating to her and it made her feel special.

As they continued on, she noticed women eyeing them as they walked along. Some discretely, others very blatant.  At first she wasn't sure if was because they were an interracial couple, despite it being 2010, this was still the south and this type of thing was still ‘new' to some. But she notice that more and more the women weren't looking at them; they were ogling him. Jude seemed to be oblivious to it because never once did he look at any of them or made reference to it; he just kept asking her about each restaurant they passed. She felt proud having this extremely handsome and attentive man on her arm; even if it was only for this weekend, he was all hers.

"You must be tired, you've said no to just about all of the restaurants down here." Jude teased her, knowing how much she loved to eat.

"Funny." She replied hitting his arm. But her eyes lit up as soon as she spotted an antiques store. "Do you mind if I take a look inside?"

"No, I'll be right out here waiting for you, gnawing at my hands because you refused to feed me." Jude replied sarcastically and gave her a pitiful look; but Samara was not moved.

"We at least you can't say that I didn't give you water." Pointing to the nearby ocean. "I'll be back in 5 minutes and then let the lunch hunt can continue." She walked off, leaving him leaning against the pillars outside the shop smiling.

--------------------

"Jude Mathers, what brings you to Tybee Island?" Jude turned in the direction of the voice, to greet his client, Thorn Marchand.

"Thorn, good to see you buddy." He replied shaking his hands. "I am here for the same reason you're here."

"My wife sweet talked you into talking the boat out for a weekend, too?" Thorn joked.

Both men laughed and walked over to the empty seaside bar to share a drink and to catch up. A few minutes later two chatting ladies strolled out of the antique store and over to the seaside bar where the two men sat.

"Nia, Honey looked who I bumped into."

Samara stood off to the side and watched the interaction in front of her. The petite brown woman with the long flowing hair whom she'd been chatting with in the antique store was married to the tall dark haired man with the blues eyes sitting with Jude at the bar. Jude seemed relaxed in their company and she was glad to see that with them he wasn't as guarded as he normally was with others.

"Jude, it's great to see you. I am still loving my car, by the way." Nia Marchand kissed him lightly on the cheek and moved to sit next to her husband. "I know that a convertible isn't practical for a mother of 5 but, it's petite and cute just like me and I love it.  Thank you."

"I am glad you are enjoying it."

"And who is this lovely creature?" Thorn asked as Samara quietly moved to stand next to Jude.

"Oh I'm sorry, Samara I'd like to introduce you to Thorn and Nia Marchand; very good clients of mine. And this is..."

"Samara Mathers; it's nice to meet you both." Finishing Jude's introduction she gave them a handshake.

Both Thorn and Nia looked at Jude.

"You sly devil, you got married and didn't tell anyone? Well congratulations, it's about time you got hard over a woman instead of all those damn cars you play with." Thorn teased.

"Thorn!!" Nia screamed jabbing her elbow into her husband ribs. "You're worse than the kids; I swear you have no control over your mouth."

"What? I'm sure Samara agrees. Don't you, darlin?"

Samara blushed at his comment and so did Jude. But she did not respond to his question.

*********************

Samara listened to gentle lull of the waves crashing down on the shore. She decided to keep her French doors open to the night sounds of the beach. She was sure both Jude and Noah would have fit knowing that she had them open at this hour but she couldn't help it, the ocean's serenade was so soothing.

Even the quiet of the night couldn't persuade her to fall asleep so, she got out of bed and headed outside on the lanai. As she stared up at the moon in awe, Samara wished that she could bottle the night that was so peaceful and save it for the dark days that she knew were coming. 

Her mind wondered to her husband. She knew that her probably having a ball in West Palm Beach. When she spoke to him earlier he was so excited about exploring the Breakers that he practically rushed off the phone. That made her smile; she was glad that he was still living and enjoying life and not focusing on dying.

She thought about everything that they'd been through since his last diagnosis and couldn't help but admire his courage.  Initially, she was angry at Noah for asking Jude to father a child for them; but the more she thought about it, she realized that this was something that he needed. Noah always wanted children and often told her that he couldn't wait for the days to watch her swell with his babies. But with his multiple projects and demanding schedule, he never felt the time was right.

He told her that he would feel guilty leaving her to raise their children essentially alone, because he was always working. He wanted to wait until his firm was able to function without him. It could now, but ironically that did help their situation. In that regard, she could accept him asking Jude to father a baby with her; but what got her goat was him asking Jude to do it naturally, that had her fuming.

Her anger dissipated a few days later when she acknowledged the fact that Noah was right, she did miss their intimate interludes. Was Noah insane by asking his brother to be a natural donor? Samara asked herself that at least a thousand times. He reasoned that he knew she needed the intimacy that they could no longer share and it hurt him more than anything to watch his wife lose herself to his illness.  He felt that Jude was the perfect surrogate because not only did Noah trust him with his life, but he knew that Jude would love and take care of her, now and after his death. She couldn't argue that point, in the short time she'd know Jude, he had shown himself to be very sincere in everything he did.

She would use this time alone with Jude to talk about their predicament. She needed to know that he wanted to do this with her because he wanted to and not because Noah asked him to. Samara knew that she should feel some guilt over it; but she didn't. The more time that she spent with Jude, the more alive she felt; and she recognized the change in her demeanor almost immediately. Noah was right, she never realized it, but up until spending time with Jude, a part of her was on the verge of dying with him.

Her thoughts were momentarily distracted when she saw something flicker along the sand dunes.  She wasn't sure if she should flee but continued to watch as the shadow moved up the path. As it became more pronounced, she sighed in relief when she recognized Jude's approaching form.

Watching his approach had her heart racing. Instantly she felt her sex awaken. With each step he took, she imagined him moving closer to touch her, where she was desperately wanted to feel him.

He was shirtless and shoe less, clad only in a pair of unbuttoned blue jeans; with the moon light cascading down, scented blooms nearby, the splatter of waves in the background and this sexy bare chested southern god striding up the beach, Samara thought it was one of the most erotic images she had ever seen; seeing him now, she wanted his hard hot body pressed up against her like nobody's business.

He took the deck steps two at a time, staring into her eyes and the scowl on his face told her that he was none too pleased at seeing her out alone at that hour.

"What are you doing out here alone?" Jude queried, grabbing the outside shower head, to rinse the sand off of his feet.

Taking in her current state of dress, which consisted of short pink terry cloth PJ bottoms, a skinny strap tank top, and flip flops, Jude wasn't happy that she was sitting out there by herself in the middle of the night; not when she looked so damn delicious.

He was trying to avert his eyes from her lounging form, but he made the mistake of looking over at her when he stepped foot on the deck. Those legs that he had wrapped around his waist countless times in his dreams looked so tempting at the moment. Stretched out and slightly parted, putting her fat little ‘v' on display; and Jude wasn't sure if he was angry or aroused at the sight of it.

Her hair was fanned out on the pillows and her arms rested just above her head. Her position caused her shirt to ride up exposing her navel and the thin cotton material did little to conceal her erect nipples or that fact that she was bra less. The perky pair winked at Jude and his male muscle couldn't help but stare back.

Damn it if she didn't look like she was waiting for him to take her. Jude thought to himself.

"I couldn't sleep so I came out here to enjoy the quiet." She replied, getting up and handing him a towel.

"And you? You're out here because it seemed like a perfect time to go for a walk?"

"Actually yes, the beach is abandoned and quiet at this hour; except for the sound of the waves it's quite relaxing." Jude winked and sat down in the chair next to her.

They sat in silence until Samara asked, "How long have you known Nia and Thorn, they seem like very nice people."

"Yes they are; I met Thorn years ago at an auction. He and his brother Ari collect race cars and I've done a lot of work for them over the years. They have been married for a few years now and I just restored a 1980 Mercedes Benz convertible for Nia; a surprise for her birthday."

"It was kind of them to invite us to dinner on their boat tomorrow; well I guess tonight, I don't know what time it is."

"You say that now, but wait until we're on that boat and you're surrounded by their five kids. Talk about a handful." Jude laughed as he remembered the last time he visited Thorn at his private storage garage, with his three sons in tow.

Samara smiled at the thought of being surrounded by children and then suddenly blurted out, "Speaking of kids...thank you for offering to be our donor. I know Noah really wants this and he was hoping that you'd say yes."

Surprised by her words, Jude turned to look at her, but couldn't find the right words to respond. "So Noah finally told you, huh?

She nodded her head, unable to speak trapped in his gaze.

"How do you feel about it? What about you do you even want this? It would be your baby, too. I mean after he's gone it's your responsibility, no...That's not what I mean, I'd help you of course, because it would be my baby too; but I mean do you want this, with me? Because you have other options. Shit this isn't coming out right." Jude blew out a frustrated breath and started to get up, but her soft hands on his arms stopped him.

"I have to be honest Jude, when Noah first came to me with this I wasn't happy about it; I thought that having a baby was the last thing that we needed. But the more I thought about it and how happy it would make him in his last days; I had no choice but to give him that. I love him and I knew that it was the right thing to do.  Besides, Noah is right, he knows me, I would retreat into myself after he is gone, if I don't have something or someone to force me to cope. I think that our baby would give me purpose and be that sunshine that would make those dark days just a little bit brighter."

Jude thought on her analysis of their situation but was still cautious, "And what about the other thing?"

"You mean us making love?" Samara replied casually.

"Yes." Jude stood up moving to lean against the rail, looking off into the night. Hearing her say the words sent his pulse racing, "You seem so cavalier about this whole thing, while I'm lying awake feeling guilty for even thinking about you, sexually?

Hearing that sent fire racing through her body. Surprised Samara exclaimed, "You've thought about me sexually?" Shit I hope that I didn't sound like a needy tramp Samara thought to herself.

Jude looked over his shoulders to stare into her eyes, "Every day, since the day we met." He didn't know why he shared that information but saying it to her, he felt some relief.

She got up to stand next to him, "I thought of being with you, too." There I said it. 

Jude did a double take not believing what she just said. But the look in her eyes told him that she was being as honest as he was.

"Fuck Noah, for putting this shit in our heads." he looked over to her, "Sorry...about that."

She smiled at his apology.

"I thought about you, even before Noah shared his hope of us making a baby together with me." Samara whispered, thinking back to the night she climaxed to thoughts of him.

"If I sound so nonchalant, I don't mean to, it's just that... well I want to give this final gift to Noah, and it has to happen in the next few weeks; otherwise, the likelihood that he would ever see me pregnant is slim. So I figure the more comfortable we are with each other the sooner it can happen. I think that he just wants us to be happy together, Jude." Samara hoped that her explanation sounded more confident than her own feelings.

"His brother fu... having sex with his wife to knock her up, is supposed to make who happy exactly?" Jude bit out. He didn't mean to sound so nasty but this whole affair had him twisted in knots.

"I don't think he sees it quite like that.  I believe Noah sees you more as... his replacement, not as some lecherous pervert out to use me." She returned to the chaise, unsure of what to say next. "For whatever reason, he thinks that we can find our happiness together."

"Is that how you see me too? As Noah's stand-in?" Jude wasn't sure how he felt about that. Though he wasn't ready to admit it, he did have feelings for Samara; and knowing that she only saw him as a substitute for her husband would hurt him more than he could admit.

"Jude, honestly when I'm with you, I am ashamed to admit that I don't think about Noah. I am living in that moment with you. For however short a time I spend with you, I feel alive; I'm not dwelling on Noah's impending death or anything else. I know who you are Jude, so no I don't see you as his replacement; you can't replace him. You're you and he's Noah. You may look identical but you are not the same person."

Jude smiled at her but didn't say anything in response.

"Come here." Samara patted the spot next to her. He hurried over to her but sat towards the bottom of the chaise. He didn't trust himself to sit next to her as she indicated.

"What did you feel, the first time we touched?"

"Samara...." Jude hung his head to avoid her eyes. Being this close to her was dangerous territory. He thought that his impromptu respite had given him the strength he needed to not only face her but to temper the feelings that were quickly surfacing.

"I saw the signs of loneliness that lived in in you when we first met; much like it did when I was by myself. I promised myself then, that I would do everything I could to help you be free of it. Jude, you should never feel that lonely ever again; not when you don't have to and...neither should I."

She watched him for a reaction but he continued to stare at the ground.

"Listen Jude, I know Noah has put a lot of pressure on you these past few weeks over this. And I know that you want to appease him because of his illness; but you don't have to.  You can have any woman you want; so why would you want me? When Noah told me that he asked you to have sex with me I was angry. Not because I don't want to have sex with you, because I do."

 Samara sighed. "But it made me feel...I don't know... I guess undesirable, that my husband would have to ask his brother to do it; when on some gratifying level I wanted you to desire me as much as I had started longing to be with you."

Reaching for his hand, she moved closer to him. Stroking his arms she was hopeful that the contact would entice Jude to talk, but he remained silent.

"You are a handsome, loving, giving man and any woman would be lucky to have you in her life. It should be your choice who you have sex and father a baby with. So please know that it's ok if you don't want to do this with me."

Samara attempted to make eye contact, but Jude still averted his eyes. "As much as I would like for you to father our child and as much as it would please Noah; her voice was now shaky, I would hate to think that you agreed to do this, just out of loyalty to Noah or later felt trapped out of obligation to our baby. You can tell me no right now and...I'll be ok with it."

Samara sat back against the chaise waiting for Jude's response. When minutes passed and he still said nothing, she felt foolish. With slumped shoulders, it was now her turn to look away from him. She had put everything that she was feeling out there for him to hear, but now she wasn't so sure it was such a good idea.

She was positive that they had made a connection; she felt it every time that they were near each other. The sizzle in the air was palatable, every time they touched and her body seemed to come alive whenever they were close. Maybe she had read him wrong and was confusing her feelings for him with those for her husband.

She started to get up to leave, when he reached for her hands and looked at her. Her words had a soothing effect on his soul and her confession had his thoughts confused about what he wanted to say to her, when she moved even closer to him.

Jude smiled inside. He spent so many days in solitude and in deep thought over their situation; hoping that above all else that he was doing a good job of hiding his feelings for her. Little did he know that she was basically having the same thoughts about him?

Who knew that all the while he had feared that she would reject the notion of being with him to father her baby, she actually thought that he would reject her. It caught him by surprise hearing her words and the quiver in her voice; he knew that he had to come clean about his feelings.

He held her hands and kissed them; surprised by his touch she looked at him and offered a hesitant smile. "I find it ironic that you would think that I have options in my romantic life; when I haven't been out on a real date in over 3 years and I've never been in an adult relationship."

Jude reached for her and she got up from her spot to sit next to him. "I can't tell you what it does to me to know that you want me to father your baby; the first time I saw you, I thought to myself, she is absolutely gorgeous; my brother is a very lucky man. Maybe one day, when I get my shit together I'll be lucky enough to attract someone half as beautiful as you."

He looked to her and smiled, "But the more I got to know and spend time with you, I found you to be smart, giving, affectionate, and a whole laundry list of other things. And then I asked myself, why would she even consider me, she can have any man she wants to father her baby? Why me? Jude? With all of my issues? What woman would want to take that on?" Jude stood up to lean against the deck rail.

"But the more time I spent with you...the more I wanted to be..." He blew out a breath and began breathing deeply; he wanted to find the right words to say what he was feeling, but his thoughts were going a mile a minute.

Samara watched him with tears on the verge of spilling. Jude studied her for a minute and walked back to where she sat, sitting closer to her.

"I want you Samara, more than I have a right to; I have since the day I laid eyes on you. You are everything a man could ever hope for in his woman. I want to make love to you, I want to father your child, I want to make you happy but more than that, I want you in my life; for a very long time. Not only am I feeling guilty for wanting those things, for wanting my brother's wife, I...I am worried that...I will hurt you."

Staring into her eyes, he brushed away the tears that sat on her eyelids. "I don't know how to be gentle anymore, in words or in action... and the last thing that I ever want to do is hurt you. It would kill me." He confessed.

"You could never hurt me on purpose, Jude." She assured; moving both of her hands to his massive chest, she reached up to plant a soft reassuring kiss on his lips. "It's not in you."

He kissed her back softly, not wanting to take it any further than they were both willing to explore.

"I just don't want to hurt you...or Noah." He rubbed her cheek and she leaned into his warm hands.

"You won't; we've agreed to this. Noah's ok with it."

"In principal, he has; but what happens in reality?"

Samara didn't know the answer to that and she didn't want to delve into it at the moment.  All she wanted right now was to be lost in his warmth.

"Kiss me, Jude." Her body was aching for him and all she wanted was to be wrapped in arms. She should have felt guilty for wanting it, but she didn't.

With very little thought about anything else, Jude covered her mouth with his while his hands freely roamed her body. His kiss was tentative at first, asking her if she was sure she wanted it. When she parted her lips to welcome his tongue he knew that she wanted it.

Jude wanted to do more than just kiss her, but he didn't want her to think that was his main reason for bringing her to Tybee for the weekend. Stopping their kiss before it really started, Jude hesitantly pulled away.

"I didn't plan this; I mean...I want to be alone with you, I wanted to bring you to Tybee but not for..."

"I know." She silenced him with another kiss and this time he didn't pull away.

Jude was in a daze from her kisses. Her lips were so soft and he was enjoying the wet tango that danced in their mouths. Her warm tongue felt like fluid moving in his mouth and her body practically melted into his own. He was growing hard from their contact and as their kisses grew fiery, she was moist from need. His hardness poked her stomach as he pulled her closer to him; he needed more and from the way she hungrily returned his kisses, so did Samara.

His hands moved under her tank, and slowly made their way up to her breasts and to her taut peaks that had been calling to him all night. His thumbs softly glided over her nipples making them harder than they already were and her knees go soft. Hearing her soft moans and feeling her fingers in his hair tighten at the contact, brought Jude crashing back to reality.

If they were going down this path, he needed to share something with her. He wanted to be honest with her even if she now rejected him because of it.  But his mind went blank for a moment. He was loving the feel of her mouth and warm tongue dragging up and down his neck, Jude groaned when he felt her hands gently slide down his chest and hooked themselves onto the waistband of his unbuttoned jeans. He knew that they had to stop then. Slowly he broke their kiss, but she wasn't interested in taking a break; Samara continued trailing butterfly kisses along his jawline and neck.

He took a deep breath and gently coaxed her into looking at him.

"Samara, I need to tell you something. Before we...you need to know that I...I was..."

"Shhh," she stopped him. Pulling his face back to hers and then kissing him again, "I know everything that I need to know about you, Jude."

Taking his hands in hers, "It's late, let's go inside." she insisted, not waiting for his response.

Picking up his wet towel off the chaise, the pair made their way into her room.

****************

With his back to her as he closed the French doors, Jude felt his heart beating faster than it did, whenever he took one of his motor cycles out for a ride. He wasn't sure what would happen between them tonight but he knew that after the kisses they just shared he needed more of her.

 "Oh god, Jude..." Samara choked out, reaching to touch the scars on his back. Never in her worst nightmares could she begin to imagine what he suffered in his life and especially during the time he spent in prison.

Not turning around to meet her eyes, he knew that she spotted them. "Don't..." Jude rushed out, attempting to evade her touch.  He was so used to being alone at the beach house, he didn't think about grabbing a shirt on his way out the door. He hated that she found out about them this way.

Samara tried to ignore his request, but instead she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against the scars etched into his skin. Jude froze at the contact but felt her warm tears drip on to his back as her hands moved along the hard smooth lines of his chest and stomach.

"They healed a long time ago; so don't shed tears over something that's buried in the past." He whispered, still facing the doors.

Over the years he had worked so hard to mask his emotions, but Samara was quickly changing that. Jude reached for her hands that were on his chest and stroked them tenderly. Her sob grew louder as her arms tighten around him.

He couldn't face her; not now. Not only didn't he want to seem weak in her eyes and for him those scars were a sign of just that, weakness. But he especially didn't want to see the pity that he knew would be in her eyes; or worse for her to see the tears that hovered on his own lids, at the sound of her crying. He felt Samara lean in closer to him and her nearness made his heart flutter.

Samara told herself that if it took all night, she would attempt to kiss away all the pain that she knew he still carried with each scar. He didn't deserve them or the hurt attached to them and he certainly shouldn't live like he was undeserving of someone's love and affection because of it.

He kept his feelings guarded from everyone for so long, Jude wasn't so sure how to express them or share them with her. When he felt her soft lips on his scars, Jude shivered at her touch; needing it more than he realized. He turned around to stop her from going any further but was so lost when he saw the tears streaming down her face.

His amber eyes gazed at her soft brown ones. Samara had only known him for a few short weeks, yet the emotion on her face was that of someone who had a vested interest in his wellbeing for much longer. It was a sad sort of comfort for him. Sad that she was in tears; but comforted that she was shedding tears for his pain.

Samara quickly slid her arms around Jude's waist and held him as tight as she could. "I am so sorry Jude." Samara cried harder and her body shook with each sob.

He wrapped his arms around her in return. "Don't be. It's all in the past." He breathed out. Still overcome by her emotional outburst and fighting his tears.

"Still; you live with this as a reminder every day and for that, I am so sorry." She choked out.

He didn't think it was possible to want her any more than he already did. But in that moment, hearing her sobs and seeing her tears for him, she had just earned another percent of his heart.

"Hey...no tears." Jude soothed, rubbing her back.

"I can't help it, Jude. I'm a crier."

"If you stop crying I'll buy you a pony." He teased, feeling her trembling subside a little. He had to get her to stop crying, for his sake more than hers.

"That only works if I'm five. And besides you gave me Legacy already, remember." She laughed softly. "I hate that you had to suffer through so much and most of it alone..."

"Don't think about that; I'm here with you now and I'm fine. I promise." He reassured her, kissing the top of her head and loving the way she felt in his arms.

"I should be the one comforting you," she smiled into his chest, "Yet you're the one holding me like the cry baby that I am."

"I'm not complaining; I like holding you close." He closed his eyes enjoying their closeness.

Samara wanted to comfort him. She wanted to say the words that would make all of his bad memories disappear; but the she couldn't think of the right words to say. She looked up at him and was happy to see that he was now looking at her. The sadness in his eyes touch something deep within her and knowing that he carried that pain everyday broke her heart; she took his hand in hers and led them to her bed.

Jude stopped short when she climbed in and waited for him to do the same. He knew where this was possibly headed. Though he wanted to, he was sincere when he told her that he didn't purposely plan to seduce her this weekend.

"Samara, I don't think..."

"Jude, will you hold me close; until I fall asleep?"

He looked at her and he knew that lying in bed holding her close would probably lead to other things. Jude was at war with himself over what to do; he was already harder than a quadratic equation and her nearness would only drive him insane. He had dreamed of this scenario a thousand times, since meeting her and never once did it involve simply holding her in his arms. Not that he didn't want to. But he wasn't sure if he trusted himself enough to simply lay there holding her.

"Just for a little while...please?"

**********************************

Jude laid there staring at the ceiling with Samara envelop in his right arm, as his fingers played in her hair. For him it was sweet torture having her draped across in chest but it felt so right lying there with her. With her left leg casually flung over his thighs, she softly stroked his arm; her head was just under his chin and the heat from their bodies was only slightly cooled by the gentle breeze sweeping in from the opened windows. The moon light poured into the room highlighting their cozy embrace and to anyone looking in, they would have thought that this was just another lazy summer night for a young couple in love.  

They had been talking about everything under the sun. From favorite movies to politics and all other topics in between and they were both enjoying this private time together.

Jude could only imagine one other pleasurable thing that could beat having Samara in his arms like this; and after what they shared tonight he was certain that it would happen in short order. He kept pushing that thought to the back his mind, otherwise as hard as he was moments ago she would know exactly what he was thinking.

There was something in way Jude touched her emotionally that made Samara want to share everything with him. She didn't think it was possible to find this type of tenderness with anyone other than Noah; but being with Jude now she knew that she was falling for him.

-------------------------

"The sound of the ocean reminds me of the summers that I used to spend with my grandparents in Virginia Beach. I couldn't wait for school to close; I loved it there." Samara smiled.

Jude listened as she talked about the fun she had over the summers with her family and rubbed her back when some of the memories grew sad. Samara even managed to get him to talk about his own adventures; she loved hearing about his summers in Savannah with Uncle Pete and all the trouble that he and Noah got into.

He laughed at all of her tales of her grandfather Rev. Harris. He wasn't sure if they were that funny or if it was because she was so animated when she told them; but he knew that he'd never laughed this much in a long time and he was enjoying having her to himself.

 "There was this festival every summer called the Sugar Coma and every year my grandpa and I would enter the team desert challenge, and it was a sad thing really; you had so many deserts to eat in, like a minute. When I was younger I was a real porker and worse I wore corrective lenses; this one summer my mom thought it would be cute to send me to the festival in a two piece; because eating the deserts could get so messy. Well I came out the door in my brand new swim suit and as soon as grampy saw me he yelled out ‘look at my little Fatty-Four-Eyes'; and from that day on that was his nickname for me."

Jude tried to hold back his laughter but couldn't, "I bet you look cute, though."

She continued her story over his laughter, "I'm not kidding, every summer he and I would enter that contest and we won five summers in a row. Everyone knew that Rev. Harris and Fatty Four Eyes was the team to beat."

"You're nuts...you know that right?" Jude cried in laughter when she made circles with her fingers and covered her eyes to show him what her coke bottle glasses looked like. He couldn't help the laughter that poured out of his body. 

"I swear that's how they looked...I have pictures, I'll show them to you when you come to Charleston." She teased.

"I like your laugh...it's genuine." Rubbing his arms and moving to look into his eyes, "You should do it more often. But not at my expense, of course."  

She was glad that she could make him laugh; the sound of his laughter warmed her heart and she was hopeful that this wouldn't be the last time she heard it. She could tell that he was embarrassed earlier that she saw his scars and her crying over them made him feel worst. That wasn't her intention; she wanted him to know that he never had to feel any shame with her.

"When are you going to take me to your cabin in Blue Ridge?" she asked, after their laughter died down to soft chuckles.

"When do you want to go?"

"I know that you're busy, Jude; I was just teasing you."

"I'd make time to take you; if you really want to go."

"You'd do that for me?" she perked up smiling.

"I'd do just about anything for you, Samara." Jude reached up to kiss her. The kiss was quick, gentle and promising.

She returned to lying on his chest and Jude continued combing his fingers through her hair.  He thought about what he's just said to her and he knew that he meant it. She was quickly becoming the owner of his heart.  But Jude knew for that to happen, he would have to let go of his pain that had become such a big part him and his life for all these years. It would probably be the hardest thing that he'd ever have to do. He would have to meet that challenge, because it was the only way that he would be ready to welcome in the love that was building for Samara.

-------------------------------

"What's your favorite song? And it can't be any of that awful crying country music or worse that depressing blues stuff."

"You don't like country or blues, this from a woman who grew up in the south?"

"No those musical genres are too whiny and depressing."

"Those songs are the stories taken from everyday life."

"Yeah well nobody's life can be that awful." She supposed.

Jude didn't say anything immediately; he thought about his awful life and shifted himself in the bed, to a sitting position.

"Well mine certainly was..."

Jude's movement surprised her and Samara stilled at his observation. His tone went from playful to serious and it caught her off guard. This was not the turn that she was expecting their conversation to take.

"Let me see... my father hated my guts from the day I was born, my mother told everyone that I had the eyes of a killer, I spent time in jail for a crime I didn't do, my uncle who encouraged me to go to college dies of a heart attack the day before my graduation, I have no family and...well except for the requisite dog reference in the country ditty and a cheating woman in the blues tune. Any one of those depressing songs could be an ode to my life."

"Jude, I'm sorry I didn't..." She sat up next to him and attempted to touch him but he stood up before she could. "I only meant..."

"Don't Samara; please I don't want your pity. I think I got my fill earlier." Jude started pacing the room, missing the way Samara cringed at his words.

"Pity? Is that what you thought that was? My heart broke for you, Jude. And you call my tears pity? I wouldn't do that to you." How could think that she asked herself. Tears were already building and before long they streamed down her face.

He stopped moving and his heart tighten when he heard her whimpers; looking over to her he saw her tears racing down her cheeks. Shit he'd managed to make her cry twice in one night. Her tears were quickly becoming his kryptonite.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you." He apologized getting her a box of Kleenex.

Samara didn't respond or look up at him, she only took the tissues to dry her eyes; and that really made him feel like shit. He didn't know why he took her reference to sad music so personal, it was stupid and he was being overly sensitive.

"I know I over reacted just now; I don't know why it's so important to me Samara, but you're the one person I refuse to look weak in front of. And it feels like no matter what I do I come off that way; it's like a constant reminder that someone like you could do a lot better than being with someone like me."

He sat back down on the bed with his head handing down and reached for her hands. Samara took them and looked at him in disbelief.

"Don't do that, Jude; don't put me on a pedestal. I am just a regular person and you're wrong, everyone deserves to be with someone like you. I could never see you as being weak. Not when you're the strongest man I have ever met." His eyes shot up and met hers.

She was fighting tears and there was a quiver in her voice. She took a deep breath. Jude needed to hear just how special she thought he was.

"You spent time in prison for a crime you didn't commit. A weaker man would have let his time prison dictate his future, but not you. You've manage to build and an extremely successful business in a very short period of time."

 "Your uncle left you a repair garage and looked at what you've turned it into. You've earned your success with very little help from anyone else and you are not shy about sharing it with others. You give credit to everyone else for wins and take all the blame for the fails; you'll pitch in and help others become successful too, by supporting them in any way you can; even if they don't do the same for you. You are a multi-millionaire but you'd never know it because you are so humble in everything you do. A weaker man would make his way to the nearest camera if only to point out all of his accomplishments and material gains."

"You say you don't have any family but you're wrong. Millie and Russell have been there for you since you were a child. They love you and fuss over you as if their last names were Mathers. And you treat them as if they were your own parents. Though they technically work for you, you take care of everything for them, Russell's new truck, Millie's trips to California every year to see her sisters. Every Sunday your family shows up for dinner and fill your house with love and laughter. A weaker man wouldn't open his house so freely to others or pay for trips or anything else."

Moving to she straddle his lap, she locked eyes with him; fearing that he would flee if her words became too much for him to hear. Jude wanted to look away because her words were reaching his soul and he knew that he was at the apex of his own emotional awakening and he wasn't sure if he was ready to share that moment with anyone; not even her.

 "You are so generous with your money and never hesitate to use it if it can help others. Look at that kind thing you did for that elderly couple Thorn mentioned today. You saved them from financial ruin by purchasing their entire car collection for more than they were asking, because they needed the money.  You helped Eli start his business and refused any sort of repayment; you bought Lily's school the new playground equipment because they couldn't raise the money to cover the cost; you donate money to charities though you do it anonymously and you never seek praise for what you do; but a weaker man would need that recognition if only just to brag about it."

Hearing her talk about him so adoringly had him on the verge of tears. He tried to stare out onto the beach but she wouldn't let him. She fought to hold his gaze and it only made him want to hold her closer.

 "Your brother whom you've not seen in 10 years walks back into your life to ask you to forgive him, for sending you to jail for a crime that he committed. A weaker man would have snapped his neck in two the minute he saw him. But not you Jude; not only have you worked towards forgiving him, you've agreed to father a child for his wife so that he can die in peace knowing that he didn't leave her or you  alone without any family. A weaker man would have never even entertained the thought. But you, you are going to give me the baby I so desperately wanted."

Her voice broke at that last part and she watched him blinking back tears that now glisten in his eyes Jude buried his face in her neck and she felt him shudder. Samara felt his kisses there but it was immediately replaced by his tears.

"And as much as you want to make love to me tonight, you won't; your conscious won't allow you to because you have not cleared it with Noah. Not that you need his permission at this point, but because you don't want him to think that you were sneaking around with me behind his back. You still respect him as your big brother and you never want to do anything to hurt him.  A weaker man would have had me on my back hours ago and not give a damn about Noah's feelings."

Both Samara and Jude were in tears; his head was on her shoulders and her arms snaked around his neck; she rubbed his neck and kissed the sides of his face as his tears grew into heavy sobs. She encouraged him to cry and let go of his pain and reassured him that with her he never had to feel ashamed, weak or inferior.

He had never shared himself so intimately with another, and when Samara cradled him in her arms and whispered in his ears, "You do so many wonderful things for others and you never ask for anything in return. How could I ever see you as anything other than a tower of strength? Your heart is as big as that ocean outside and you may not believe it but, you are so easy to love that it's impossible not to love you. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be loved; but you have to believe that before anyone else can." Jude lost it. His tears fell faster than rain and his arms locked her to his body.

Jude knew what she was saying was the truth and in his heart he truly wanted to feel love. But after being denied it for so long he wasn't sure if he received it, that he would know how to reciprocate. Samara said that he was easy to love but he knew that learning to give his love would be his challenge.

Samara continued to whisper loving words in his ear as he cried; though she was barely holding on herself, she was determined to help him through this, so that he could find the peace and love that he desperately wanted.

"You have to let it go Jude, let go of all that pain that's bottled up inside; it is holding you hostage."

"I can't," he whispered into her neck, ‘it's all I have."

"No it's not; you have me and pretty soon, you'll have our baby too." Placing his hands on her middle she held them there. "And we'll need you at 100 percent and ready to take care of us."

Jude's head immediately shot up and he met her eyes that was wet much like his own. He opened his mouth to speak but the words died on his lips before he could get them out.

Never had anyone's words have such a profound effect on him; and the warmth of her holding him in her arms like this melted his heart. When he felt Samara reached down and kiss the tears from his eyes, Jude knew that she had changed him in that moment and that his heart was forever hers.

The sun's golden rays and the crash of the ocean's waves onto the shore, finally managed to coax Jude out of his slumber. He couldn't recall the last time he let the sun beat him at welcoming in a new day. He surveyed the room and was relieved and disappointed to see that Samara wasn't next to him.

Jude held her all night and fell asleep with her in his arms; giving him the best sleep that he had in many years. Every word that she spoke, last night tugged at his heart; and now having to face her, he wasn't sure how to proceed.

*****************

Jude stood and watched as Samara flipped pancakes. He had been watching her for the past few minutes; without her noticing. She was in the kitchen making breakfast and dancing to of all things Rascal Flatts' ‘Bob that head.' Clad in nothing but a hot pink bikini and a smile; she was truly a vision.

He had to smile at her. She told him last night, that as soon as the sun cracked the sky, she was headed to the beach; and she certainly was dressed for it. His eyes moved appreciatively over her dancing body and the memories of the kisses they shared on the deck pushed his thoughts into deeper waters.

When he woke up this morning he wasn't sure how he was going to face her, after his emotional outburst at her words last night. After some reflection, as he lay in bed alone, Jude was glad that he had shared himself so personally with Samara. She didn't pity him as he expected, instead she consoled him and soothed most of his pain away.

The quiet time allowed him to think about all they had shared with each other the night before and what they expected from each other, going forward. That was the hard part; his budding feelings for her would be harder to hide after this weekend.

He continued to watch the show she was putting on and grinned when she turned around to see him leaning against the counter watching her.

"You sneak." Samara yelled, throwing chocolate chips at him. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." He smiled; eating the chocolate chips that she attempted to hit him with. "I thought that you didn't like country music?"

"I don't like winey country music...this stuff is party music; I love it." She moved to turn the music down and Jude took a peak at what she was cooking.

"I hope you're hungry. I made fruit salad, scrambled eggs, grits, turkey sausage and chocolate chip pancakes." Pointing to the stack of pancakes, with her spatula.

"All of this for just the two of us?" Jude stared at the mountain of pancakes and scratched his head.

"Umm yeah."

Jude walked over the breakfast bar and sat down. He wanted to say more to her but he didn't know what exactly. Samara grabbed the juice out of the refrigerator and sat down next to him.

"Syrup." She remembered, just as she was about to dig in.

Without giving it further thought Jude stopped her where she stood and wrapped his arms around her waist; pulling her to him. He brushed a soft kiss on her neck and then whispered, "thank you" into her ear.

She looked up at him and smiled in response, "Don't thank me just yet. You still have to taste the pancakes."

Samara knew that he was referring to last night. He didn't need to thank her for that; she wanted him to know that she would always be there for him. She kissed him back and told him, that was what she was here for.

 "Why didn't you wake me up?" taking a sip of juice, Jude started eating his very big breakfast. "I never sleep in this late."

"There was no need to wake you up cowboy, we're on vacation remember?" sliding the pancake syrup next to his plate.

"By the way, I managed to feed the chickens and milk the cows all by myself." She teased; causing him to laugh.

"You work too hard; you're allowed to sleep in on the weekends, Jude. Besides, I knew that the smell of my chocolate chip pancakes would charm you out of bed, eventually." She winked.

"Whip cream?"

"No, chocolate chips at this hour is enough for me, thanks." Jude watched as she smeared her pancakes with the sticky stuff.

"You have to taste it with the whip cream." Samara insisted and placed a small dollop on his plate.

"So what is on the itinerary for today?"

"I am going for a swim, as soon as these cakes digest; and then maybe we can check out the fort and the lighthouses before we have dinner with Nia and Thorn?"

"I have some things that I need to work on, so I will do that while you are out for your swim."

"You don't want to come with me?" she asked disappointed that he wanted to hide out inside.

"Samara, I don't usually swim during the day. I...."

"Jude. It's just me. You don't have to be embarrassed by the scars..."

"I know."

"Then you'll come with me? Jude was still hesitant and she could see it.

"At least come sit on the beach and watch me swim?"

--------------------------

Jude watched as Samara splashed and swam about. He sat on the shore enjoying the view from behind sunglasses. The view of course, being flashes of pink, bronze and blue. Samara's bronzed body encased in her hot pink bikini was wave jumping to her hearts delight.

The water was pristine and the sun wasn't blazing hot; offering a bit of a reprieve from the usual summer heat. No, the only heat on this day was emanating from Jude's body. It was on fire for her. He tried to distract himself from those thought, but each time he tried; she was there to remind him.

"You can swim out further if you want too; but I am not diving in to save you." Jude warned, watching as she swam further and further away.

"Whatever, dad...come on in scaredy cat, the water feels great."

 "That's ok; I'll take your word for it."

"You're no fun...you know that."

"I'm no fun?" Jude laughed, "I'm no fun because I can't move. I'm still too full from breakfast."

"It's not my fault that you eat like a girl. I thought that there was a real man behind all of those muscles. That's why I made you a man sized breakfast; little did I know, you have a lady like appetite." Samara smirked.

 "You play too much, you know that right?" Jude shucked his sunglasses onto the sand, stood and then pulled off his t-shirt.

"Ooh I'm shaking." Samara taunted; as she watched Jude walked towards the water's edge.

When Jude's feet hit the water, she started inching back. Her heart was banging against her flesh at Jude's slow deliberate movements. The predatory look he gave her had her aching for him to make his move. Teasing him, with each step he took closer to her, she inched deeper and deeper into the ocean.

"OK...you win. I was so kidding." She yelled attempting to swim away from him.

Before she could finish, Jude dove into the water and began swimming after her.  Within seconds Jude had caught up to her. He grabbed her legs and she was yelling and laughing for him to stop; as they both rolled into the thunderous waves.

"Who's the girl now?" Jude teased as she continued to scream and laugh. Tugging her into an embrace, Samara locked her legs around his waist and brushed his wet hair off of his face. His golden orbs eyed her with such affection, that the passion that she had for him threatened to combust at that very moment.

"Me...I'm your girl." She smiled shakily, "At least for this weekend."

Jude plant a soft kiss on her lips as they bobbed up in down in time with the waves.

"I'll take that." He breathed out, loving the feel of their bodies melting into each other.

------------------------

"So this is the lighthouse. One hundred and seventy eight steps to the top."

"Ok, well I will be right here at the bottom waiting for you."

"Jude, don't wuss out on me now. We've come too far."

"You feed me a hundred pancakes for breakfast this morning; then you make me swim a mile in the ocean. We've walked, I don't know what a mile and a half at least to get here and now you want me to trek up 200 steps, to see the view of the ocean. The same ocean, we can see standing in the loft back at the house? Sorry darlin' but I think I'm sitting this one out."

Samara laughed at his mini tirade as she moved closer to him; in an effort to soften him up.

"Come on you promised that we could play tourist all weekend; I bet we can see our house from up top there?"

Hearing her refer to the beach house as ‘ours', melted Jude defenses; she was his weakness already. He was going to make the trek up to the top even if he didn't feel like it, because she wanted to do it.

"You want to go all the way to the top?" Jude asked tenderly; though he was still standing there debating with himself.

"Yes." Samara answered laying her head on his shoulders. "I want to see the view of the whole island."

"Come on you young people. If we can make it to the top, so can you."

Both turned in the direction of the older man who was wearing sandals and socks. Samara smiled. The older couple had been standing in front of them when they purchased the tour tickets. The older couple took off to conquer the 180 steps to the top; leaving Samara and Jude standing there.

"See, now we have to do it!"

Jude looked from Samara to the stairs and back to Samara.

"I'll rub your feet later." She whispered into his ears.

Jude smiled; she must have been reading his mind. "Just my feet?" he asked, suggestively.

Samara smiled wickedly at Jude, "Well, we'll see; that is if you enough stamina to get all the way up...the stairs."

Pulling Samara to stand in front of his body, he discretely ran his hands down the front of hers; squeezing her breasts as he breathed into her ear, "I warned you earlier darlin', you play too much. It's up. And it has been up for a while; that's the problem. It hasn't gone down since I caught you dancing around the kitchen in your bikini."

Samara bit her lip to stifle her moan as her eyes darted around the lobby area to make sure that no one was watching them. She could feel his bulge poking into her ass and she pushed backed into him to let him know that she liked it.

"When its time, you are more than welcome to put my stamina to the test. I just hope that you are ready for it." Jude licked her ear playfully and then walked off to best the 178 stair climb to the top of the lighthouse.

Samara stood there frozen as Jude disappeared up the lighthouse stairs. She wanted him. Their playful teasing and flirting was moving to daring territory. She had been thinking about little else after falling asleep holding him last night.

It was the main reason she found herself up at the crack of dawn and cooking up a storm; otherwise she may have given into her desire to show him how much she had come to care for him.

-----------------

Climbing the 180 stairs was no easy feat for either of them. They sat on a bench on the observation deck and took in the view. They watched as the other sightseers mulled about, and took in the natural beauty of the island. Their chattering was interrupted when the older man from earlier spotted them.

"So how long have you two been married?" the older man asked Jude; but didn't wait for a response. "My Marion and I have been together for 50 years. I tell you; there is nothing I wouldn't do for that woman." He smiled watching her as she snapped pictures.

Pointing to Jude, he sternly offered, "You tell her everyday how much you love her and you, pointing to Samara, you remind him every day, why you were the woman he promised to spend the rest of his life with. And the both of you will enjoy many happy years together; my wife and I are proof of that."

"Buddy, why don't you leave these two alone; they're obviously on their honeymoon. Congratulations you two, you make such a beautiful couple and so in love. You're both glowing." The old woman smiled.

Both Jude and Samara sat speechless. If strangers could plainly see that they had feelings for each other, then certainly others could; namely, Noah, Millie and Russell.

**************************

"I had a wonderful time tonight." Slipping off her shoes Samara padded over to comfy sofa underneath the big window.

"Nia and Thorn are always a fun pair. And their children loved you Miss Sammy."

"They were a fun bunch." She smiled. "5 kids must be a handful for Nia though; especially when she has to get ready for an art show?"

Jude sat next to her and placed her feet in his lap and lightly massaged them. She promised him the foot massage yet she had been complaining all night that her feet hurt.

"Nia and Thorn love it; they love the chaos, newborns, school plays, crying, whining and everything else that comes with raising children. They want to have another baby soon."

"Another baby? Wow."

"5 or 6 are too many for you?"

"I don't know? I never really thought about it beyond having my first child?"

"You do realize that it's a possibility that we could have multiples the first time out don't you?"

Samara's head shot up at his casual observation.

"Noah told me that as far as he knew, you two were a fluke."

"Well honestly, we don't know a whole lot about Henry's family. So who knows, really? As far as Uncle Pete and my mother, knew there had never been twins born into their side of the family."

"You never knew your father's family?"

"No, Noah and I asked him about it once and he told us never to ask it about it again; and we never did."

"Wait. You mean there could be a whole family out there that you and Noah never met before?"

"I guess so, yes."

"Wow, that's incredible." Samara thought on that tidbit for a minute. "Twins on our first try?"

"It's possible."

"I think I'd love that." Samara grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Me, too." Jude smiled, reaching for her.

---------------------

"I think that I am going to call it a night." Samara had no idea what time it was. They had been up talking since they got home.

"What time do you want to leave tomorrow?" Jude asked, getting up from the sofa.

"I don't know...we can decide after breakfast. It's your turn to cook in the morning."

"Cereal it is!"

"Cereal!!!! After I slaved over a hot stove to build you a mountain of pancakes?" Samara shrieked.

"And I am still paying for that, right now." Jude reminded her, patting his stomach." And they both laughed at that.

The laughter died once they stopped in front of her bedroom door; Samara opened it and Jude gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek and remained in the hallway. It was clear to her, based on his actions that she would be sleeping alone tonight.

"Jude..."

"I want to Samara, but I think...."

"I know." She kissed him again; then placed her head on his chest. "We are talking with Noah, as soon as we get back."

"O.K." he mumbled into her hair. He wanted to stay with her, but he knew sleeping separately was for the best.

"Good night."

Samara closed her bedroom door. She wanted nothing more to be wrapped in Jude's arms all night. She was conflicted. These feelings she had for Jude, were moving well beyond the scope of baby making. The intense need to be with him was threatening to consume her every thought and drive her to madness. They had yet to make love, but she craved for his touch like nothing she ever had before.

She started towards the bed and stopped. Who was she kidding? She flung open the door and rushed into the hallway. Only to find Jude right where she left him standing.

They stared longingly at each other. They didn't need to say anything it was painfully obvious that they needed to be close to each other. Jude took the 3 short steps to stand face to face with her. Their lips crashed into each other and Samara felt herself being lifted off of the ground. Instinctively her legs wrapped around Jude's rock hard middle as he carried them back into her bedroom.

Jude matched her hunger for him, kiss by kiss as his tongue delved deeper into her mouth.  His greedy kisses blazed a trail from her lips to her neck onto her exposed shoulders and began sliding lower. Jude's mouth drifted down her chest and he sucked her thick nipple right through her flimsy tank top, and into his mouth.

Samara moaned in appreciation and thrust her breasts higher and pushed his head closer, to feed him more of her mounds. His mouth darted from one chocolate treat to the next; Jude's suckling, pulling and biting, was pushing Samara closer to her climax that was quickly building. Just as she was on the cusp of welcoming its heat, Jude slowed his movements.

"Samara..."Jude hissed, as she tighten her legs around his waist. "We can't do this tonight."

He was stiff to the point of being sore. He had been all day; ever since this morning at seeing her dance around in her hot pink bikini.

"I know Jude. But I want to...I want you." she pleaded, plying him with sweet soft kisses.

 "Believe me, I want nothing more than to give you everything that you want; but we both agreed last night to wait." moving to the bed, Jude laid her down on it.

"I just want to feel you close to me." she breathlessly got out. "Can I at least fall asleep in your arms tonight and wake up with you next to me in the morning?"

She had him there.  He couldn't shake the feeling that warmed him as he slept with her nestled in his arms the previous night. Staring down at her enticing form, Jude sighed.

"I want to beautiful; but honestly I don't know if I can trust myself to just hold you close all night." He confessed.

"Please Jude, don't deny me this." She scooted over to make room for him.

One look into her pleading eyes, he couldn't deny her anything; and against his better judgment, Jude crawled in next to her. When their second goodnight kiss quickly turned into a fiery kissing marathon; they knew that they couldn't wait much longer before giving into the need to share themselves with each other.

***************

Jude killed the Healey's engine just outside the back doors of the showroom. They were home now and back to the real world. What they had shared this weekend at Tybee was so deep and honest that neither felt like letting go of the moment. They sat parked for a few minutes; before he spoke.

"You can take my truck home; I have some things that I need to check on while I'm here."

"You're not coming home with me?"

"No, I have to make sure that my guys have been hard at work; since I've been out playing with you." He teased, kissing her fingers.

"Thank you for indulging me." Moving to lay her head on his shoulders, Samara brought his hands to her lips and kissed them.

"You deserve to be spoiled." He replied kissing the top of her head.

She adjusted her position so that they were facing each other. "Jude, I want to...."

"I know." Jude looked into her eyes and saw the same emotions there that he was now feeling. "Not here Samara."

He wanted to kiss her too; but they could not blatantly put their affections on display; for others to see.

"I guess this isn't Tybee Island." She supposed, referring to the way they had morphed into pseudo lovers there, over the weekend.

"We'll always have Tybee." He smiled and squeezed her hand.

**********

Next DAY

Samara waved her sorority sister Jaime Snow over to the table she had reserved for them at Bleu.

"Thanks for meeting today; I am freaking out big time." Jaime rushed out, giving her sister a big hug. "With the move, the house, the charity ball and school starting soon; I'm so overwhelmed."

"Take a few calming breaths; let's have lunch and then we can plough through some of that drama." Samara offered handing her the cocktail menu.

"That sounds like a plan." Jaime laughed and ordered them a pitcher of margaritas.

--------------------

"So I got the call yesterday, that we will have to find another venue because it will not be ready for the benefit. Any ideas?" Jaime asked over their dessert.

"Sure, tons...if this was Charleston." Samara laughed. "But I have no clue about Savannah. I'll ask around though; we have what two weeks left?"

"Yes, otherwise we'll have to postpone until after the holidays."

-------------------------

Samara sat at the counter and watch as Millie cut up fruit for the tart she was making for desert. She had been boring Millie to death with stories about her weekend at Tybee with Jude; her students and whatever crazy thing that popped into that head of hers.

"My sorority is in a bind; we don't know what to do. We've always had the benefit at that particular hall and now we are in a crunch. It seems that every bride in Savannah is getting married that weekend."

"You know what? How many people are you expecting?"

"Umm...I'd say no more than 200 people why?"

"I think I know of an available venue; the only problem is parking....hmmm?"

"Where, what place?"

"Jude's house on the square; it's perfect."

**************

"How was Tybee?" Noah asked Jude, who was sitting behind the wheel of un-identifiable convertible parked in the middle of his work room.

"Hot. And Palm Beach?" Jude could barely hold his head up to look at Noah; for fear that what he was feeling would be written all over his face.

"Hot. The show was fantastic and the auction went very well. Your team is going to be very busy based on the responses we received at the end of the auction. There were a few bidding wars too; so Russell has the list of in demands based on that." Noah congratulated.

"That's good news." Jude stepped out of the car and over to his work bench to grab some tools.

"No, Jude that is great news. Is everything ok; you don't seem 100% here?" No he wasn't, he was still thinking about his weekend away with Samara.

"Yeah, sure. I'm just a little tired that's all."

"Tired? You just got back from the beach. I'm sorry did my wife talk your ear off? I love her to death but that one is a talker."

Both laughed in agreement; though Jude did feel a twinge of envy at Noah's reminder that Samara was still his wife.

"You would think that I would be a ball of energy, but I am leaving for California for a few days to consult on a movie project and I want to make sure that those cycles for the museum are done on time and carefully inspected for accuracy. Are you available to hang around here for a few days?"

"Yes, I will be more than happy to check in on things; while you're gone. A movie project? Wow, that's exciting."

"Yeah; it came up a few weeks ago...."

Noah sat down and waited for his brother to continue. It was obvious to him that something was on his mind, before he could ask, Jude spoke.

"We need to talk about...."

"I assumed you did it already...." Jude's head shot up at Noah's words.

"I meant that you talked with Mari." Noah clarified.

"Yes, we did and we've agreed to go through with it. Only if it's what you still want."

"Of course, nothing would make me happier." Noah beamed but still saw some apprehension on Jude's part. "What's wrong? Have you changed your mind?"

"No. It's...Samara and I..."

"Slept together, already?" Noah inquired gently.

"What? No, No!!"

"But you wanted to?"

"Noah...."

"Jude, tell me what the issue is. Just spit it out."

"I feel guilty alright; I see you sitting here and I can't look you in the eyes, because all I can think about is sleeping with your wife and I feel terrible." Jude rushed out, finally looking at his twin.

Noah took in a deep breath. He had to tread lightly with his brother, "Jude, I can understand that; but if you plan on getting Mari pregnant then, I think that's how it has to happen."

"No, Noah it's not the only way."

"I thought we went over this already, Jude. I am ok with this."

"I see your mouth moving to say the words but; I have to tell you, that I find it hard to believe that any man in his right mind could be ok with his wife and his brother gettin' it on."

Noah moved to stand in front of his brother. A pair of golden eyes met its equal, both in depth of emotion and clarity.

"I am standing here in front of you, looking you in your eyes twin, to tell you that you have my permission, my blessing, my encouragement and whatever else you need to lessen your guilt. I trust you with my life and I trust you with Mari."

He continued cautiously; knowing that Jude was still uneasy about the whole thing.

"That woman has given me more happy days than I deserve and I need for you to help me give her many more in return."

"Are you sure about this Noah? I just don't want to hurt you or Samara."

"I am 100 percent sure, Jude. This will give me more peace than I can express in words. Are we Ok, now..."

"Yes."

"Good. I have to go home for a few days to check on some things back at the office and what not. So I will be gone when you get back; so if you two need some alone time...."

"Noah!" Jude cut off; feeling terribly uncomfortable, that his brother was suggesting that he and Samara take advantage of his absence.

"Alright, alright..."

**********************

"Hey beautiful, I was hoping to find you out here."

Samara was sitting out on the deck, working on her sorority event when Noah startled her.

"When did you get back?"

"A couple hours ago; I needed to check in with Jude at the office. How was Tybee Island?"

"It was great and the weather was perfect. I was almost tempted to tender my resignation and become a full-fledged beach bum."

Noah laughed. He was happy that she and Jude had fun. This was what he wanted; for them to spend time together and hopefully find comfort in each other. They were going to honor his dying wish. But still apart of him was torn.  With the reality of Jude and Samara, staring him in the face, he was now forced to face the harsh fact that he was dying. He often joked about the countdown to D-day, but now as death's certainty loomed over him like a giant rain cloud; it stirred up a mixture of emotions.

"You and Jude had fun...getting to know each other better?"

 "Yes. Jude was a gracious host; as always."

"And you two spent the whole weekend, just lounging around on the beach."

Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her but to her ears Noah's words were full of conjecture. Samara searched Noah's eyes for his meaning but his gaze was blank.

Maybe it was her guilty conscious speaking up; quietly reminding her that she had practically begged his brother to make her scream; more than once.

Guilt ate at her as she recalled her crying and screaming at Noah that he was crazy for even suggesting it. Yet when the opportunity presented itself she was more than willing to take advantage of it.

"No, we did some sightseeing and we had dinner with one of his clients."

"So, nothing exciting to report?" Noah's tone was a bit gruff even to his own ears and he was sure that Samara had picked up on it based on her facial expression.

"Nothing happened, Noah. We just wanted to talk; before we decided on anything." Samara rushed out. Hoping to clarify any doubts he may have had about whether she and Jude slept together.

"I didn't mean to imply...."

"It's ok; you have a right to know..."

"Mari, I know that you and Jude will do whatever is best for all of us." He reassured, with a kiss.

He reached for her hand and gave them a light squeeze.

"There is something that you need to know, though."

"What is it?"

"Jude is not going to come to you. As much as he wants to, he won't; you have to go to him."

Noah swallowed. He was standing in front of his wife telling her that she would have to seduce his brother, if she wanted to get pregnant.

"Noah, Jude and I talked about this already. We agreed to...to sleep together."

"I know honey. He is still hesitant and rightfully so; I can't imagine what he is feeling. I know him; my brother just wants to do the right thing for everyone; but he doesn't want to hurt either of us. You are my wife and he doesn't want to intrude on that."

Samara sighed; she knew what Noah was getting at. "If he is feeling so guilty over this Noah, maybe we shouldn't..."

"No!!! Jude is the only man I can trust you with Mari." Noah practically yelled. "This is my dying wish; promise me that you will go through with it; no matter what. You'll do this for me." His voice was so full of emotion and Samara was surprised to see him starting to tear up.

"Yes of course, Noah." Samara promised, getting up to hug him and to calm him down; as her tears started to fall too. To her surprise, her and Jude having a child was more important to Noah than she'd realized before. He was always so in control of his emotions that his outburst scared her a little.

Moments after they'd both calmed down, Noah told her of his plans to go home for a few days. She offered to make the trip home, but he insisted that she stay and enjoy the rest of her vacation and work on her other projects.

"What are you up to?" he asked, motioning to all of the pieces of paper spread out on the table in front of her.

"Do you remember my sorority sister Jaime Snow? She is the new president of the local chapter and the annual charity gala is in two weeks. But the hall that we normally use has had some extensive flooding due to old pipes; so we've been on the hunt for a new venue. Millie has suggested that I ask Jude to use the house on the square; so I am putting together a proposal of sorts, for him to take under consideration."

"I'm pretty sure if you asked Jude to use Waverly he'll just say yes." Noah advised, looking at all the paper sprawled over the table.

"Waverly?"

"It's the name of the house on the square; Uncle Pete bought it years ago when he was going to marry this woman. Her family didn't think him prominent enough for their daughter, so they never wed. But he kept the house.  It had started to fall into disrepair until Jude bought it from him, and Eli brought it back to its grand stature. I think there is some gift shop or some tour that operates out of the shop front."

"So no one has ever lived there since Uncle Pete bough it? Why not sell it?"

"I think Jude has held onto it out of love for Uncle Pete."

"But if you want to use that place you better ask him soon; he's leaving for California for a few days this week."

****************

Jude walked into the kitchen and mentally went over his to do list before he left for California in the morning. The light coming from the sunroom caught his attention and he walked over to see who was still up at this late hour.

He stood in the doorway and smiled. Samara was stretched out on the sofa with a book lying on her chest. She had fallen asleep reading.

Jude walked over to her sleeping form and was about to wake her up when he picked the book up and read the title, ‘The Holistic Approach to Conception and Childbirth.'

Leave it to the teacher to want to learn more about the process. You don't need that book, beautiful. We are going to make love every day, all day, until you are pregnant. Jude thought to himself.

"Samara." Jude whispered, placing the book on the ottoman.

"Hmmm..."

"Go to bed, darlin' it's late."

"Jude...what are you..." looking around wildly, Samara was surprised that she was still in the sun room.

"You fell asleep down here." Jude smiled at her sleepy confusion.

"Oh...I was waiting up for you." Sitting up to see him better, she reached for his hands. "I haven't seen you since Sunday."

"I know. I've been busy at the shop."

"I wanted to ask you for a favor before you left for California."

"Ok. But you didn't have to wait up for that. You could've just called me."

"No. I couldn't I needed to ask you properly."

"Ok, what is it."

Samara reached for her attaché that was sitting on the end table and pulled out a glossy folder.

"What's this?" Jude asked as she handed it to him.

"It's a proposal; my sorority's fundraiser is scheduled for next Saturday night, but the venue had unexpected flooding, leaving us in a bind. Millie suggested your house on the square as a possible alternative; so this is our formal proposal for you to review. If it's possible we'd like to use the house as our event venue."

Jude looked at her quizzically, "You want to use Waverly for your party."

"Yes."

"Come with me, I want to give you something."

Jude helped her off the sofa and she followed him back into the kitchen.

He walked over to the sitting area where there was built in desk, a message board, small TV and a telephone. Jude reached into one of the desk drawers and pulled out a bunch of keys and handed them to her.

"Keys to every house that I own." He replied before she had a chance to ask the question.

"You'll need these two to get into Waverly." Jude pointed to the keys she should use and Samara continued to stare at him in disbelief.

"Jude, you didn't even read the proposal."

"Samara, if you want to use Waverly, you can."

"The benefit is for 200 people..."

"Then I suggest you get Millie to help you with the details. Make sure you use a Catered    Affair for whatever you need; Harrison owes me a favor. I'll try to call him before I leave." Jude offered, taking out his Blackberry to set a reminder to do just that.

"You'd do this for me, Jude?" Samara's big brown eyes looked at him so adoringly; he couldn't help what came next.

Forgetting where they were, and the promise they made to be discrete; he reached for her and kissed her. "Do you even have to ask that?"

She welcomed his kisses and passionately returned them. "I'd do anything for you." Jude vowed and continued kissing her in the quiet of the early morning.

*************

"Did you tell him?"

"No. I can't just yet, Russell. Not until I know for sure." Noah replied, sitting at Russell's desk.

"Noah, you blacked out, more than once while we were in Palm Beach. That can't be good." Russell reasoned.

Finding Noah passed out, scared him beyond words and though he insisted that he go to the hospital immediately, Noah refused.

"I know, I've talked with my doctors and they want me to come home so that they can run some more tests."

"Have you told Samara yet?"

"No, Russell. You are the only person who knows about this; so I trust you to keep this to yourself, until we know exactly what is going on."

Noah," Russell hesitated, "When I told you what happened, you didn't seem surprised. This has happened before, hasn't it?"

He couldn't to lie to Russell. "Yes it has."

"Noah...This can't be a good sign."

"I know Russ...I just can't let either Samara or Jude, lose sleep over this. The doctors gave me 12 months and until they tell me otherwise..."

"What do think is going to happen when they find out that you've kept this from them?"

"They are not going to know about this, because I have no plans on telling them and neither do you." Noah warned.

Hello Ladies,

I hope that you are all well!

It was my plan to update both A new... & MBK this weekend, but unfortunately some thugs decided that it would be fun to burglarize my home and of course steal my laptop  and for what ever reason my flashdrives with all of my stories on them.

I am so upset right now, I can't even express it in words. All of the hard work that I've put into my writing was probably just tossed into the trash when they realized what it was. I could swallow this loss better had my computer crashed. But this....Sigh....

I am just writing this note to let you know that I will be taking a break from writing my stories to regroup. Please know that I am not giving up on my characters, I just need some time to re-write all that've lost.

Thank you so much for your understanding and support.

Kelly