John McBain & Natalie Buchanan

"What exactly are you doing?" John repeated his tone still sharp.

“What is this John?” Natalie ignored his question as she allowed her eyes to glance over more contents of the box. Her eyes sweep over the picture he and Evangeline took at Nora’s wedding to Daniel. She saw the flier of Evangeline when she won the Woman of the Year award. His Mother’s pearls he gave Evangeline for her birthday, but after they broke up she gave them back. She saw two ticket stubs for which she was sure were for an Eagle’s game. John would never keep tickets for the ballet or a play. She frowned when she saw two strings. “John, what is this?”

She pushed to her feet allowing the safe box to turn over. His eyes watched as the items sprawled to the floor. A part of him felt like Natalie had turned his world upside down again, but he brushed it off.

“It’s like Caitlin. How could you keep these things of Evangeline under the bed you been making love to me in?” She pointed the napkin into his face.

John grabbed it and walked over to his dresser. She watched as he gently placed it on top. She could tell he was trying to make sure it didn’t get damage.

“How often do you read that note?” She questioned as she observed how his fingers lingered on it. Her eyes burned with her tears. “How often do you read it, so you can believe Evangeline still loves you.”

John turned and glared at her. She knew he was trying to warn her not to go in the direction she was headed, but she was feed up. For a year she had been sleeping with him, waiting for him, and believing in him only to find out he hasn’t let go of another woman. She went through this the first time around with him when he couldn’t let his memories of Caitlin go, but this she couldn’t handle. Caitlin was dead, and Evangeline is very much alive…very much alive.

“You never got over Evangeline breaking up with you?” She stepped closer to him and looked up at him as he just glowered at her. “Do you still love Evangeline?”
When he softened and looked away, Natalie knew the answer to her question. She closed her eyes to block the vision of guilt she saw on his face.

“John…I asked you before if you ever thought about her.” She laughed nervously. “You never did answer. You have this tendency to avoid questions.”
John glanced at her then looked away again.

“I never allowed myself to fully accept the fact that she broke up with you.”
“Natalie. Don’t do this.” John wiped the tears off her face.

“Don’t. I need to do this.” Natalie pushed his hand away and turned to look at the pile of Evangeline’s memories on the floor. Her eyes focused on the pearls. “I remember the day she gave you back the pearls. It was the night we were kidnapped. I was so happy to see she gave them back to you. Marcie told me they belonged to your mother.” She wiped some tears from her cheek. “Knowing Evangeline she probably told you to give them to me because you were so in love with me…but she was wrong.” She turned back to him. “Everyone has been wrong right John.” His blue eyes met hers.

“Hayes and Evangeline thought you were so in love with me.” She sighed. “You tired to tell me at your apartment. You told me I wasn’t your soul-mate.”

“Natalie stop this!” John demanded as though he was talking to a child.
“Why John?” Her eyes were red from the tears. “Why should I? You have been using me as a stand in for Evangeline the past year…haven’t you.”

“Natalie, if I didn’t want to be with you, I wouldn’t have been.”

“If Evangeline came to you now and said she wanted you back, would you leave me for her.” Natalie watched as John’s eyes traveled to the floor and he whispered his reply. “Evangeline is with Cristian now.”

“Yes!” Natalie barked. She couldn’t believe this. This morning when she woke up her life was so perfect and now it was falling apart. Natalie was overwhelmed with this familiar feeling. The last time she felt like this was when her marriage to Cristian ended. Something snapped inside of her, and she growled out this fact for John McBain. “I was there when Evangeline was begging you to tell her how you felt, and you couldn’t. I know first hand Cristian doesn’t have a problem telling or showing the woman he loves how he feels.” John watched as Natalie waved her right hand in the air nonchalantly. “Cris is a wonderful artist, and he has the ability to bring any woman’s dreams to reality.”

Her words pierced through his heart and before he could stop himself he blurted out. “For the record, Evangeline has never had to beg for anything in her life.”

John growled as he realized it was still in him to defend Evangeline. He became livid when he fully let Natalie’s word sink. The day she pointed out was the same day Evangeline broke up with him because Natalie misunderstood what he said to her. Natalie watched as John placed his hands on his hips and turned his lips up.

She knew her last statement pushed his patience over the edge, but the ice-cold look in his blue eyes didn’t scare her. “And, as I remember, I would not have been faced with the dilemma of having to tell her how I felt if you didn’t go running around town telling people I said I loved you.”

“John, you did!” Natalie screamed looking up at him. “No! No! No, I didn’t Natalie. I said you were someone I loved.” John spun around not wanting to face the hurt he saw in her eyes. She wanted the truth and for once he had to be man enough to tell her. “I told you I wasn’t your soul-mate, Natalie. I told you I couldn’t be your soul-mate. But, all you heard was what you wanted to hear.”

John’s tone softened as he turned back to face her with his hands still on his hips and eyes locked to the floor. “Evangeline told me she could find a man that was more open with his feelings. Someone who could tell her he loved her, but that man wouldn’t be me!” He glanced at her as the tears streamed down her cheeks and her eyes shone hopelessness.

John found himself turning away from her instead of pulling her in his arms. The last time he made Natalie cry with the truth about his feelings, he pulled her into his arms and apologized. Evangeline had walked in on them, and he lost all chance he had with her again. He glanced at the door as though he was willing Evangeline to be there.

“Ohmigod!” Natalie’s lips turned up in disbelief as she finally realized what she wouldn’t let herself accept that day. “You are in love with Evangeline.”
John faced her and didn’t answer. A year ago when she asked the question, he told her that it was none of her business.

“Have you been waiting for Evangeline to come back?” Natalie covered her stomach as though the thought actually made her sick. She moved back and went into a hysterical sobbing.

“No.” He grabbed her gently. “Natalie, you’re blowing all of this out of proportion.”
“John, please tell me you don’t still love Evangeline.” She held her breath for what seemed like eternity and when he started to speak, she pulled away. “How stupid could I have been? I have forced myself into your life, and now I’m asking you to profess your love. Stupid, huh?” She turned from him and looked up at the ceiling as she willed John to tell her what she wanted to hear.

“Natalie, you didn’t force yourself into my life.” He whispered.

Natalie sighed then turned around to focus on the man she was in love with. She was finally starting to see reality. She was finally seeing the truth about her relationship with John McBain. It was a lie. Rex, Vicki, Layla, Evangeline, and Roxy were right about him…about them.

“John, you invited Evangeline into your life, but for me I had to invite myself.” She started pacing. “What are you talking about Natalie?” He frowned.

Natalie glanced at John and knew the puzzled look on his face was genuine. John was often clueless when it came to relationships and his lover’s feelings.
“With Evangeline you demanded she bring some things over to your place.” She glimpsed over at the closet. “With me I had to suggest I bring a couple things to your place.”

“Nat….” He started to comfort her, but she cut him off.

“No, John.” She wiped some tears off her cheek. “It’s time I face facts. With Evangeline, you never had a problem with PDA, but with me it’s a big deal.”

She studied him then asked. “Is that because you never wanted her to see us kissing again after the first time…at the police station. If I remember correctly, you went running after her then.” She peeked over at the picture of John and Evangeline at Nora’s wedding on the floor.

“You never had a problem with me seeing you and her kissing, holding hands…or anything else.”

“Natalie…” He tried again finishing her name but not able to finish his sentence.

“I remember on Valentine’s day of last year. She sung her love to you. You were completely intoxicated by her. I knew you loved her then. I could see you loved her.” She choked on her words. “I…John, why couldn’t you love me like that. Why can’t you love me like that?”

Evangeline Williamson & Cristian Vega

Evangeline glanced at Layla then at the door Cristian just exited out of. She sighed then turned to clean up the kitchen.

“Sis, you’re not going after him.” Layla asked knowing the answer. She wasn’t quite sure what to say to her big sister.

“Layla, I wouldn’t know what to say to Cristian right now.” Evangeline placed the empty milk carton back into the fridge then put the bowl of eggs into the sink.

Layla frowned. She never has seen her sister so absence minded.

“And, I wouldn’t have to worry about going after him if it wasn’t for you and your big mouth. Now, would I.” She turned around and faced her little sister in anger.

“Excuse me.” Layla rolled her neck and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Let me get this straight.”

Evangeline narrowed her eyes at the younger Williamson as she watched Layla uncross her arms and walk around the island towards her.

“You!” Layla pointed at her as she tilted her head. “Sleep with a man WHO YOU AREN’T IN LOVE WITH and get pregnant. And, it’s some how my fault? Come on Vangie.” She finished with a laugh.

“Come on what Layla. It’s like when we were kids.” Evangeline snapped using her hands to express her feelings and sarcastically laughing. “You were always around to run your big mouth. That is how Mommy and Daddy found out about my first kiss, me sneaking out the house, and….let’s not forget.” Evangeline glared at her sister. “That is how Daddy found out I took his car for a little test drive and hit the fence. Every time I needed to keep something private, you are always around to let it slip out of your big mouth.”

Layla gasped then rolled her eyes. She couldn’t believe this. Her sister had finally lost her mind.

“First of all Evangeline, you need to let the fence incident go. It happened when you were…what…fourteen, and Daddy is gone.” Layla stepped into her sister’s face. “And, as far as me having a big mouth, I’m not your problem. You can vent on me, but it won’t change the fact. You are not in love with Cristian Vega.” She smacked her lips, placed her hands on her hips, and continued. “AND, you are pregnant with his child.”

Evangeline heaved a sigh then her eyes watered. She couldn’t believe how she was acting. Layla was right, and Evangeline knew it. If she were in the courtroom instead of standing in front of her littler sister, she would have never conceded and murmured “I know. I know.”

Layla’s eyes started watering too in spite the fact she was heated with her sister. She hated when Evangeline called her a big mouth. She couldn’t help it if people always seem to eavesdrop or listen when she talked.

“Sis, I know you are scared. It’s going to be okay.” Layla wrapped her arms around her sister and hugged her. “We’re Williamson remember, and we will get through this.”

“Layla…” Evangeline embraced her sister tightly. On this rare occasion, Layla was the stronger one. “I don’t know what I am going to do.”

“I do.” Layla pulled back and stared into the older Williamson puzzled face. “I’m going to call Amy and have her reschedule your appointments for today, and you are going to take a bubble bath.”

Evangeline smiled knowing her sister believed Calgon could really take all your problems away. But, the older Williamson knew better. She couldn’t be like her sister and brush her problems to the side. It wasn’t her style.

“A bubble bath is not going to fix my problems Layla.” Her smile disappeared.

“No, but, you will feel less stress about them.” Layla beamed then led her sister towards the kitchen door. “Now, go run your bath water while I call Amy. You can still do your Evangeline thang and analyze this problem to death. Just do it in the comfort of a hot bath of bubbles.”

Evangeline laughed then gently touched her little sister’s face. Layla could be so amazing at times.

“You’re right, Anisa.” Evangeline chuckled when Layla wrinkled her nose at her sister use of her middle name. Layla shared the same middle name as their mother and didn’t like the reminder that deep down she and her mother were a lot alike. Her father and Evangeline always told them that, but mother and daughter never saw it. “If you will call Amy for me I would really appreciate it. I am going to take a shower, then I need to go find Cristian.”

“You’re going to talk to Cristian.” Layla surprise was genuine.

“Yes.” Evangeline pushed some hair behind her ear. “I need to face this head on. I…” She wiped her nose with her finger. “I can’t hide in a bubble bath. I need to talk to Cristian.”

“Okay, sis.” Layla watched as her big sister left the room.

An hour later, Evangeline walked into Rourke’s gym and found Cristian working out on the heavy bag. Antonio was holding the bag for him. She scanned the room for Vincent, his manager and Ted, Vincent’s right hand man. She was relieved when she didn’t see them and noticed only two other boxers working out.

Cristian glanced over at her and she smiled weakly when he stopped and stared at her. Antonio slowly turned his head to see what captured his brother’s attention. She started towards them and heard Antonio make his good-byes.

“Hi, Evangeline.” Antonio greeted politely as he moved pass her.

Hey, Antonio.” Evangeline answered not taking her eyes off Cristian who was taking off his gloves and looking away from her. She wondered if he mentioned the possibility of her being pregnant to Antonio, but she decided against asking. She wanted some more important information from Cristian right now. She waited until he started on his hand wraps. “Hey…I…I”

Cristian glanced up and couldn’t help but smirk when he realized his lover was stuttering. The brilliant attorney, Evangeline Ella Williamson was at a lost for words. She battled and played with words daily and now she couldn’t say any to him.

“Cristian, I want…” Evangeline sighed then covered her forehead. She laughed nervously and blurted out. “I need to talk with you.”

“Talk…I don’t know what good it’s going to do.” Cristian hardened when he recalled the question Layla asked her sister and the reply that was given. Evangeline didn’t want this baby that meant he didn’t have a say in what happens to his child. His lover was a stubborn lady, and if she made her mind up about what she wanted to do, he doubted his ability to change it.

“Please, Cristian.” Evangeline reasoned knowing this was going to be hard enough without him expressing his attitude. She sighed again inside. Okay. She had to handle this like a case. She needed to know all the facts. Cristian over heard her conversation obviously because he was pissed, but how much of it did he hear. She stared at him as she decided how she was going to proceed. “I am not sure what you over heard. But, it’s not how it sounded.”

“Evangeline, Layla asked you if you were going to keep this baby. Our baby.” He finished taking his hand wraps off, turned, and threw them at his gym bag. “You told her you didn’t know. I think your mind is made up.”

Evangeline closed her eyes and said a silent pray. She was so glad he had turned his back to her and didn’t see the relief on her face. He walked in on the end of their conversation, so he didn’t hear Layla’s other question. She could work with this. She could handle and fix this with the truth.

“Cristian, my mind isn’t made up about anything.” She confided the fear apparent in her voice. “I’m scared to death. I wish I had time to process this before bringing you in on it, but thanks to my big mouth sister, I didn’t.”

Cristian whirled around and grabbed her arms gently. “Evangeline, you shouldn’t have to process this alone. We are in this together.”

She smiled when his brown eyes softened along with his facial expression.

“We did this together.” Cristian’s face shone with love. “We created a baby with our love.”

Evangeline gasped, and Cristian noticed she started shaking slightly.

“Cris…” She pulled away from him nervous. She repeatedly told herself this was a bad idea as she turned. She should have taken the damn bubble bath that Layla suggested.

She glanced around the gym and found they were alone now. She wasn’t sure when the other two boxers left, but she was somewhat glad they did.

“Evangeline, I love you. I love this baby you are carrying.” Cristian’s voice revealed his fear and confusion. “I know this is overwhelming for you, but I am happy about it. I want this baby, and we will have a problem if you don’t.”

Evangeline slowly turned and studied him for a second. She couldn’t believe Cristian Vega was given an ultimatum. Before she could rationale her reason, she narrowed her eyes and countered. “Cristian, don’t you think it would be logical to get a positive test result before you start given ultimatum.”

“Don’t go all lawyerly on me Evangeline.” Cristian ordered. “You and I both know you are pregnant.”

“Do we?” Evangeline waved her hand as she decided to give Cristian what he accused her of. She was tired of the fact that every time she expressed an opinion, which didn’t line up with his, he accused her of being lawyerly like. What the hell was that anyway? She was a lawyer…a damn good one. It wasn’t all she was, but it was who she was. “Cristian, the only facts I know is that I’m two weeks late, and I think I may be pregnant.” Her sarcastic manner wasn’t lost on him. “I’m not a doctor and neither are you.”

When he didn’t reply, she added in an irritating tone. “And, why do you always make that comment about me going lawyerly every time I disagree with what you say?”

“Okay, Evangeline.” Cristian crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You are right. We need to find out if you are pregnant or not.”

She stared blankly at him.

“Let’s go get a test and go to my loft.” His words showed no emotions. “Then, we will have a positive or NEGATIVE fact to discuss.”

She sighed again when he grabbed his gym bag and stormed towards the door.


Layla Williamson & Adriana Cramer


Layla and Adriana walked into Angel Square diner. They sat at the first booth, which was surprisingly available. Layla sat with her back to the door. Adriana was still dealing with her anxiety from being stalked for months and kidnapped for a couple of weeks. She was refusing therapy saying all she needed was Rex and to get away from her crazy mother.

“Layla thank you for meeting me on short notice.” Adriana said smiling at the waitress who walked up.

“No, problem.” Layla smiled up at the waitress who asked if she could take their order. “Yes, I want a chef salad, no cheese, no dressing, vinegar on the side, and extra celery. Thanks.”

“And to drink.” The waitress asked not showing any effect from Layla’s special order.

“Water. Bottled not tap.” Layla looked at Adriana who was smiling at her.

“My order will be simple.” Adriana shared a smile with the waitress.

“What?” Layla asked clueless. Evangeline always made it seem like she was unreasonable with her ordering too when they went out to eat.

“Nothing Layla.” Adriana tilted her head for a moment then ordered a sweet tea and veggie salad.

Layla waited till the waitress had walked away then turned her attention to her best friend. “So, what is going on with you?”

“I wanted to know if you were still thinking about moving out of Evangeline’s condo and into your own place.” Adriana continued when her best friend raised her right eyebrow. “I can’t live with my mother, and I don’t want to live with Rex. I have been staying at the Palace, and it’s getting old.”

“Wow, so the rumor about Dorian having something to do with the stalking and kidnapping is true?” Layla questioned.

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Adriana stated flatly then straightened when the waitress walked up with their order.

When the waitress walked away after asking if they needed anything else, Adriana finished. “I need a roommate. Not a therapist.”

“Well…” Layla grabbed a celery stick and bit it. “I think I might be able to help you.”

“Really, you will be cool about moving in together.” Adriana beamed as she poured dressing over her veggie salad.

“Yeah, I was thinking about it seriously before Evangeline had her accident and was blinded.” Layla poured some vinegar on her salad. “And, now with the baby coming Evangeline is not going to have space for her little sister.”

“Baby?” Adriana questioned then stuffed some salad into her mouth.

“Yeah, Evangeline is pregnant with Cristian’s baby.” The youngest Williamson answered matter of fact.

“Evangeline is pregnant?” A husky voice asked from behind them.

Adriana looked up and smiled at John McBain while Layla closed her eyes and cursed herself. Evangeline was going to kill her. Her sister’s words from earlier rushed into her mind. “Every time I needed to keep something private, you are always around to let it slip out of your big mouth.”

Layla turned around and locked eyes with Detective John McBain, her sister’s ex-boyfriend.

Evangeline Williamson & Cristian Vega


Evangeline and Cristian were standing in the aisle of the drug store around the corner from his loft. They both stared at the variety of pregnancy test. She glanced at him nervously then at the pregnancy test.

Cristian swallowed hard then reached for the first box in front of him. Clear Blue Easy stick. Evangeline watched as he read the instruction.

“This one turns the tip pink.” She glanced at him as he spoke then reached for the same brand that read digital test.

“Here’s the same brand, but it’s digital.” She informed as he placed the box he was holding back on the shelf.

“How about this one?” He asked picking up an EPT box. “It says…” He scanned the instruction. “Anytime of the day.”

Cristian stopped when he noticed she was reaching for the First Response box.

As early as the first day of a missed period, she read silently then glanced up at Cristian to find him reading another box. She sighed to herself then some information on the box jumped out at her.

“Ninety-nine percent accurate.” She spoke out loud before she realized it.

“Huh?” Cristian asked deep in his own thoughts. “What did you say?”

Evangeline studied him for a second and was glad his mood had changed. He was acting more like the man she loved…well, thought she loved. No. She corrected herself again. She did love Cristian she just wasn’t in love with him.

For some strange reason Evangeline’s mind went back to a conversation she overhead between Michael and Natalie.

Natalie had said. “I wouldn’t say it was so vague. John told me that he loved me.”

Michael reasoned. “No, he said that you were someone he loved.”

Natalie differed. “Same thing.”

Michael tried again. “No, it’s not. He loves me. He loves our Mom. He loves chocolate ice cream.”

Natalie argued. “No, no, no. Not like that. Last night, John told me he loved me, and he meant it.”

She also recalled confronting John, and he told her that day. “I’m not in love with Natalie.”

Evangeline had broken up with John because of Natalie’s perception of John’s words. Of course, that wasn’t the only reason, but it was the straw, which broke the camel’s back. She knew John for years had practiced burying his feelings for people, and she knew he had some buried for Natalie. The biggest problem she had with that was John could never tell her how deep those feelings went. Now, she understood his feelings for Natalie then because they are similar to the feelings she has for Cristian. John loved Natalie, but he wasn’t in love with her. John’s words echoed in her mind. “I’m not in love with Natalie.”

She forced her mind back to the present. She loved Cristian because of who he was and what he was to her. But, she wasn’t in love with him.

Evangeline stop! She chastised herself. It’s one thing to analyze your relationship but don’t compare it to the past or another relationship. She and John were over. He and Natalie were and are none of her business. She didn’t have a right to question John’s feelings for Natalie Buchanan.

She looked at Cristian and realized she had to deal with her realization. She didn’t have a clue to what she was going to do if she was pregnant, but she knew she had to figure it out and fast.

“Cristian,” Evangeline started knowing she didn’t want to know a percentage of whether or not she was pregnant. And, she had to be honest with herself. She didn’t want Cristian around to see her initiate reaction. With Layla’s big mouth, things have gotten out of control. She needed to get control of this situation. “I think we should wait.”

Cristian glared at her as she gently grabbed the box out of his hand.

“I don’t want to know ninety-nine percent that I may or may not be pregnant.” She noticed his body stiffened and continued. “Tomorrow morning I can call my doctor and set up an appointment.”

His body relaxed a little.

“Cristian…I need.” She stressed the last word. “To know one hundred percent if I…we are going to be parents.”

“And, if we are?” He challenged.

“Then our baby will be the luckiest kid in the world.” She smiled then kissed him gently on the lips. When she leaned back and looked into his eyes she frowned. He wasn’t smiling at her. “What’s wrong?” She questioned concern.

“I was just thinking about your answer.”

Evangeline tilted her head and studied him a little confused.

“Evangeline, a week or so ago, you would have said something like…” She watched as he looked around as though he was actually looking for the words. “Everything will be okay because I am in love with you or our love created something that will connect us for life.”

She opened then closed her mouth. When she started to speak again, her cell phone went off. She offered him an apologetic smile then fished her razor phone out of her purse and flipped it open.

“Evangeline Williamson.” She answered placing the pregnancy test she took from him back on the shelf. “Nora. Hi, what can I do for you?”

Evangeline was so thankful for her best friend calling right now. She really didn’t care what she was calling about. Cristian was right about how she would have replied to his question. For the past few months every time she could say I love you or I’m in love with you she did. She couldn’t understand how blind she was to this fact. She was so needing to hear the words from John…from anyone when Cristian said them…she couldn’t’ turn away. It was what she prayed for…right. She needed to hear the words. She wanted to hear the words. She couldn’t believe she allowed herself to be fooled into thinking she was in love because she needed to hear three little words. And this was the one time in her life; she wasn’t sure how she was going to talk her way out of her dilemma.

“Yes, I’m here, Nora.” She replied when her friend yelled her name in her ear.

Cristian observed as Evangeline turned into a complete professional and centered her attention on the phone call. He had to admit that was one of the things he loved about her. She was a compassionate and dedicated lawyer for all the clients she decided to defend. Even though he felt she took her dedication too far when she was defending Todd Manning, he knew she would have and will do it for any client. But, he was still uneasy about her actions with the Manning case. Both Evangeline and Todd swore they were just friends, but his gut was telling him Manning wanted more. Now, Todd and Blair were back together, and Evangeline was too busy to deal with Manning. And, that was all right with him.

“Now?” He heard her say in the phone then glanced at him over her shoulder. “Okay. I will be there. Give me thirty minutes.”

Evangeline closed her razor and turned to her lover. She fought the guilty feeling she felt because of deceiving him. Nora had actually hung up before she made her last statement, but Cristian was deep in thought. Evangeline saw an out so she took it. As she held the phone in her hand and bit her bottom lip, she looked at Cristian. She finally ran her hand through her long thick black hair and told him. “Nora needs my help.” She lied. “I mentioned a few days ago I have been helping her on a case, and we need to get together and go over some things. We have to do it tonight, because first things in the morning she has to meet with the client.”

Cristian shrugged his shoulders and focused on the floor.

“I’m sorry.” She placed her razor in her purse. When she looked back up, he was studying her. She offered him a loving smile then she cupped his face. She knew he didn’t know she was lying, but she still felt guilty for doing it. “Cristian Javier Vega, I do love you.”

Evangeline reasoned she wasn’t lying about her feelings. She did love him. He was a wonderful man in spite of his insecurities. He loved her the way she needed to be loved. He put her first every time and in every situation. He was the kind of man her mother would want her with…someone who would love her and support her dreams.

“If…” She stressed the word. “I am pregnant; you know I will keep the baby.” She was telling the truth. She wouldn’t abort any child even under the worst situation. “I was scared when Layla asked me earlier.”

“So…you are telling me, you will be happy about the pregnancy?” He inquired.

“I’m saying I will handle this in an Evangeline way.” She smiled as she caressed his cheek.

Cristian laughed. “Lawyerly like.” He teased and wrapped his arm around her small toned waist.

“You know. I don’t like when you call me lawyerly like.” She kissed his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You know me Cristian. I have to analyze things. I have to plan things in my life in order to be happy.”

“Well, you didn’t plan us.” He frowned and glared at her. “Are you happy about us?”

Evangeline pulled back and sighed. “Don’t do that Cristian.” She ran her left hand through her hair. He could tell she was trying to choose her words carefully. “Don’t second guess my feelings for you. Don’t second guess us.”

Cristian just stared at her as she turned to him and continued to explain.

“My parents raised me to plan my life, but I am wise enough to leave room and appreciate the unexpected…the surprises.”

“I’m a surprise?” He pulled her closer to him.

Evangeline smiled then circled her arms around his neck again. “You are a sexy loveable surprise.”

Cristian kissed her passionately briefly then hugged her tightly. “Evangeline, I love you so much and want a family with you.”

She willed her body not to stiffen but hugged him tighter instead.

“Cris, how about we continue this conversation at Rodi’s later?” She pulled back and pushed some hair behind her ear. “We can call it a semi-celebration.”

Her heart warmed when he smiled and said okay. Then, she recalled him being at the gym earlier with Antonio. She wanted to know if he told Antonio about the possibility of her being pregnant.

“So,” She repositioned her purse on her shoulder and tried to sound nonchalant when she asked. “Did you tell Antonio I might be pregnant?”

“No.” Cristian said flatly then put his hands in his jean pockets and looked at her. “You didn’t want anyone to know until we were sure…right?”

“Right.” Evangeline agreed knowing Cristian was lying, but she’ll deal with that later. “I need to get going.” She glanced at her watch. “Buy you a beer at Rodi’s in an hour?”

“Okay. See you then.”

“Okay.” Evangeline half smiled then walked off.


Natalie Buchanan & Rex Balsom

Rex ran up to the bar in Rodi’s and greeted Natalie. “Sorry I’m late. I have a situation with Adriana.”

Natalie glanced at Rex not caring about his personal life but forced herself to ask anyway. “Everything okay?”

“Well, she wants to move out of Dorian’s place.” He slide on a stool. “She doesn’t want to live with me, so she’s asking Layla as we speak if she wants to share a place. I’m trying to get her to stay with me, but she won’t.”

“Well, Rex.” Natalie supplied nursing a beer. “My experience with the Williamson girls is they always get their man.”

Rex frowned then noticed the glass of beer in her hand for the first time.

“Hey, Natty. How many of those have you had?” He pointed to the glass she just emptied in one gulp.

“Not enough.” Natalie placed the empty glass down on the bar and hit the top of the counter twice to order another one.

“What has McBain done now?” Rex asked knowingly.

Natalie rolled her eyes then cocked her head. She started to retort then realized John had done something. She sighed then grabbed the fresh drink the bartender had placed in front of her. Everyone was right about John McBain and how screwed up their relationship was…is.

“Let’s talk.” Rex demanded as he grabbed the glass from her. “And not drink.”

“You know. You, Cristian, Mom, Roxy, Michael, Evangeline, Layla…oh, the list goes on and on.” Natalie took a sip from her beer. “You all were right. Everybody told me I was wasting my time with John.”

She shook her head as she stared into the glass of brown liquid.

“I just can’t…Mom told me to let things play out…but did I listen?” She downed the rest of her beer again. “I thought I could take John away from Evangeline. I didn’t see them as a real couple.”

Rex was shocked when Natalie started crying. He watched as she stared at the empty glass with tears running down her cheeks.

“Rex, John is still in love with Evangeline.” She admitted then hit the counter again.

Rex signaled for the bartender not to bring her another beer. He turned to her and debated whether or not he should hug her.

“I thought John would come around. I thought if I wanted him bad enough and fought for him…”

When Natalie’s crying went into sobbing, Rex embraced her and glanced around the room. At the bar of Rodi’s was not really an ideal place for her to bare her soul. He gently guided her off the stool and over to a corner near the jukebox.

After a few minutes Natalie finally got herself under control. Rex had ordered her some black coffee.

“Here.” He gave her the coffee. “Now, tell me what happened.”

Rex listened as his sister recapped the happening of this morning. She glanced at him a few times and saw the genuine surprise in his expression. When she was finished, they sat in silence for a few minutes. He was the first to break the silent.

“Natty, you have to dump McBain.” Rex studied her. “You deserve way better than him.”

“You know Rex…” She took a sip from her coffee then offered with a cracked voice. “I finally…I finally…I agree.”

She wiped her right cheek again. “You know, Michael told me once that if I kept sticking my neck out that John was going to break my heart. I told him he was being ridiculous.”

Rex watched as she placed the cup of coffee on the table and stood. She glanced around Rodi’s and the place was empty except for two people at the bar.

“Michael told me John would never be able to give me what I need.” She glanced at the pool table and remembered the day it was delivered to Rodi’s. John had purchased it for her after Cristian was killed the first time. Well, when they thought he was killed. John didn’t want her to give up playing pool. He was so romantic and sweet. And, she knew he wanted her. Then, it was Caitlin who was in the way. John had begged her several times to be patient with him, but she told him she couldn’t. She started crying again because if she had hung in there with McBain, he would love her and not Evangeline. After all, he gave up Caitlin’s memories for her.

“Natalie…I’m sorry.” Rex whispered as he looked at her in love.

“Thanks.” Natalie offered her brother a weak smile, because she knew he was the type to say, “I told you so”. Instead, he decided to empathize with her. “I have lost my self respect with John. I need to get it back.”

“That sounds like something Vicki would say.” Rex mused as he played with her coffee cup.

“She did.” Natalie peered at him. “I went to her for advice right before we were plotting that stupid fake killing club attack…you remember. It was during the Woman of the Year award. We wanted John to come to my rescue.”

Rex studied Natalie as she sat back at the table. She seemed refreshed. One thing he had to admit about his sister, she was a survivor. She didn’t allow anything to keep her down for long…not even John McBain.

“I vaguely remember us plotting something.” Rex brushed off. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“I’m going…I’m going…” Natalie’s mind drifted to a statement Evangeline had made. Evangeline confessed that she believe John was holding onto an ideal rather than a person. “I’m going to end things with John.”

Rex just glared at his sister.


John McBain & Layla Williamson

“Evangeline is pregnant?” John repeated as he watched Layla slowly stand up.

“Excuse us Adriana.” Layla offered to her friend then grabbed her sister’s ex-boyfriend by the arm.

John was desperate for an answer, so he allowed Evangeline’s little sister to force him over in the corner.

“John, I swear if Evangeline finds out that I let it slip about her being pregnant I will kill you.”

John ignored Layla’s threat as he repeated his question for a third time.

“Will you lower your voice.”? Layla quipped as she glanced around the diner. If Carlotta over heard him, her sister would surely kill her. “For you to be involved with Natalie, you seem overly worried that my sis…of the situation you overheard.”

John glanced around to avoid eye contact with the younger Williamson. He finally supplied. “Evangeline is my friend.”

“John, please.” Layla smacked her lips and looked him up and down. She pointed her right finger at his chest. “Why don’t you admit the real reason you asked me three times? You’re still in love with my big sis.”

“Layla, I’m in a relationship.” John started to walk off knowing he didn’t have the energy to go over this script again. He had spent all morning arguing with Natalie over this. He didn’t want to argue with Layla Williamson.

“Go ahead and run John McBain, but you can’t hide from the truth.” Layla barked then added. “If Evangeline finds out you know, you have to deal with me.”

Layla crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at him when he slowly turned back around to look at her. She knew it was crazy to threaten a cop, but she would rather deal with the Llanview police department instead of her sister, Evangeline Ella Williamson.

Evangeline Williamson & Nora Hansen

Nora opened the door and frowned when she saw her best friend standing there with a brown paper bag.

“Evangeline, what are you doing here? I thought we agreed to meet in the morning.” Nora stepped aside to let Evangeline in; even though, she questioned why her friend was there.

“Nora, I need you to hold my hand after I pee on this stick that will determine if my life is over.” Evangeline held up the brown paper bag for Nora to see as she rushed into the house. “I couldn’t do it with Cris in case it’s positive.”

Nora stood dumbfound with her front door open looking at a frantic Evangeline.

“Nora, I can’t be pregnant.” Evangeline ranted as she walked over to the couch and sat down. “I mean. What will I do with a baby and a man I’m not in love with? I mean I just got things back to where I’m completely in control of things. And, this…I can’t deal with this.”

“Evangeline, have you been drinking?” Nora asked while she shut the door.

Evangeline glanced up, frowned, and then answered, “No.”

Before Nora could say anything else, Evangeline supplied. “Nora, I think…. There is a chance.” Evangeline sighed then glanced around the room. “Where is Matthew?”

“He’s with Bo for the evening.” Nora smiled then walked over and joined her friend on the couch.

“Everything will be okay.” The popular DA tried soothing her friend as she sat beside her and wrapped her arms around her. “How late are you?”

“Two weeks.” Evangeline placed her head on Nora’s shoulder and allowed herself to be comforted.

“Well, I think we should go ahead and do this test, so we can get a verdict.”

“Verdict?” Evangeline smiled weakly. She loved Nora’s corny sense of humor. They were two lawyers who loved their jobs and being on opposite sides of one another. Nora was a District Attorney while Evangeline was a Criminal law attorney.

“Hey, in this house we use lawyer terms.” Nora grabbed the brown paper bag and opened it to reveal a pregnancy test. “Okay kiddo. Go pee on this stick so we will know if Cristian is going to be your baby daddy.”

“Baby daddy?” Evangeline questioned with a smile at Nora’s attempt to be hip.

“Yeah.” Nora said proudly. “I can get with the current slang. I do my research lady. That is what makes me a great lawyer.”

“So…that will make you Bo’s baby momma.” Evangeline teased as she smiled at the older lady.

“Go pee on the stick so we will know if you gonna be Cris’s baby momma!” Nora waved her friend off. “For the record, I was married to Bo, so I can’t be his baby momma. I’m Matthew’s mom and Bo is his dad.”

“Hence, you are Bo’s baby momma. Marriage or not.” Evangeline stood laughing and grabbed the bag.

Fifteen minutes later Evangeline was holding the pregnancy test stick while Nora looked over her shoulder.

“It’s negative.” Evangeline glanced over her shoulder for a confirmation.

“Yes, it’s negative.” Nora confirmed and walked over to sit beside her friend. “Some women can’t get a positive test with a urine sample. You might be one of those that need a blood test.”

“You think?” Evangeline questioned as she placed the stick on the brown paper bag and searched for the test box. “I know I followed the instructions right. Maybe, it’s negative because I’m not pregnant.”

“Maybe, your friend is late because of stress.” The Llanview DA tried to comfort. “It happens to million of women.”

Evangeline looked up and frowned at Nora then reasoned. “I have been stressed more than I care to remember in my life, and I have never been late. I mean. I had to carry the weight of an innocent man being put to death. I’m always on time.”

“Not this time. And, I wouldn’t use the adjective honest to describe Todd Manning.” Nora ribbed then reached for the test box on the coffee table. She smiled as Evangeline handed the box over. “These test aren’t one hundred percent anyway.”

“Well, I am about one hundred percent sure I am pregnant. I can’t believe it.” Evangeline snatched the box playfully because she didn’t like Nora’s first comment. Not this time. She could let her get away with the Manning joke. “I mean. John and I took risks when it came to sex all the time, but Cristian and I were always careful.”

“Risks?” Nora questioned knowing her friend had a wonderful lover in the local Llanview detective.

“Yes. I mean. Our first time was in Mary’s basement. At Todd’s wedding that never happened we did it in the Palace elevator. Before he took me to my Aunt’s funeral, we did it in my office.” Evangeline looked up to find a smiling Nora studying her. “Never mind! The point is we took risks. I can’t believe this will happen with Cristian and now.”

“You said you weren’t in love with Cristian. Where did that come from?” Nora became serious. “When did you realize this?”

“Nora, I can’t explain, but when I realized I could be pregnant…” Evangeline bite her bottom lip. “It’s like something awakened in me. Reality hit me like a TKO...no pun intended.”

Nora watched as her friend ran her hand through her long dark hair and stood.

“When I was with John, I needed to hear the words so bad. Then, Cristian said them to me….” Evangeline turned and looked at Nora hopeless.

“You fell in love with the words?”

Evangeline nodded then looked up at the ceiling. “I have made a mess of things. I know Cristian loves me with all his heart.”

“Well, Cristian always did fall hard.”

Evangeline frowned at Nora then stared at the coffee table.

“Then again. Everyone always fall for you.” Nora teased.

“Not everyone. John never did.” Evangeline smiled weakly then started pacing.

“Please. I think McBain fell the hardest.” She continued when Evangeline turned to study her. “You had that man lost…afraid. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Anyone who knows John knew he loved you…and was in love with you. He just couldn’t say the words, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel them. John,” Nora paused to search for the right words. “Well, John just has a demon he won’t let go of. But, honey, believe me when I tell you he loved you even if he couldn’t say the words."

“And Cristian says them all the time. You would think I would be happy.” Evangeline chastised her own self. “I mean. I begged John for the words. I even stood in front of a crowd professing my love…and what did I get?

Nora watched as Evangeline came back to the couch and sat beside her.

“Nora, I care deeply for Cristian…” Evangeline looked up at the ceiling. “Maybe, maybe I need to give myself time. I mean. Cris is a great guy.”

Nora studied her friend as she analyzed her own problem.

“He is completely and totally about me. I don’t have to speculate about what is real or true with Cristian. It’s like…” Evangeline covered her heart with both hands as she continued. “I know physically, mentally, emotionally Cristian is with me.”

Evangeline looked over at Nora and smiled weakly.

“With Cristian if I give it time, I know we can go some where. I don’t have to ask for a commitment with him.” Evangeline placed her left hand on her head. “I prayed so many nights for this, and now I’m being so ungrateful. So what…I may not be in love with Cristian right now. I’m not the type of person to fall quick anyway. I mean…I get closer to him ever day.”

Nora observed as Evangeline stood and started pacing.

“It may take another month…two…three months for me to fall in love.” She turned to Nora. “But, I will right?”

“Well, the question I think you should be asking yourself knowing Cristian Vega,” Nora searched Evangeline’s face and body language. “If you are pregnant, when Cristian propose will you say yes.”

“Propose?” Evangeline inquired shocked. “Do you think he will? Cristian wouldn’t jump at marriage that quick…you think?”

“He’s a Vega.” Nora laughed. “He’s a Vega.”



John & Michael Mc Bain

John was sitting at Rodi’s bar nursing a scotch straight up while he waited for his brother. From his position he could see the whole bar. He habitually glanced around the room and noticed when Cristian and Evangeline walked into the room. They were hip to hip and headed to a quiet spot across the room away from the jukebox and pool table.

Evangeline was smiling at Cristian as he pulled out her chair and continued as she waited for him to sit down. He observed how Cristian took the chair across from her and positioned it right beside her. After Vega was finished and right where John wanted to be, Vega kissed his beautiful lady and wrapped his arms around her.

John stared a little longer then normal because he knew unless someone was studying him they wouldn’t detect he was watching.

“More like stalking.” McBain whispered to himself then sipped from his drink and focused on the bartender who was making drinks for a waitress. He glanced around the room again and realized that Rodi’s was busier than usual. It really didn’t matter to him though because usually he was still alone in a room of people. The only time he didn’t feel that way was when he was with…his eyes trail over to Evangeline again…when he was with her. She completed him. She filled the void he had for so long. She made him want to be a better person.

John glanced at his watch trying to distract himself from his ex-lover and her current boyfriend. It was ironic though that Cristian and Evangeline hooked up…very ironic.

Cristian and Natalie were soul-mates, and he and Evangeline had something no one could take away. But, here they were making love to the wrong people. Here he was watching another man enjoy the only woman he ever wanted since Caitlin, his first fiancée. Caitlin was his first love and her life was taken away too soon, and he never thought he would feel the way he did then again. But, Evangeline was…is like no one he ever met. She mesmerized, smitten, and overwhelmed him. He knew he loved Caitlin completely, but Evangeline was taking him to a level he never experienced.

John finished his drink and ordered another. When the bartender placed the drink in front of him, he glanced over at Evangeline and watched as Cristian feed her a French fry. Before John knew it he down his second drink in one gulp. He winced as the brown liquid burned his throat going down. He placed the drink down with a little more force than necessary and ordered another. When the bartender questioned him, he shot him a look that told him not to question him again. John watched as the bartender stepped back and headed to fulfill the order.

Evangeline’s presence was like a magnetic as he discovered his eyes concentrating on her again. He noticed when Cristian’s hand covered her stomach. If he had not known their little secret, he wouldn’t have thought anything of it. Damn Cristian Vega! He should have protected Evangeline. How could either one of them allow this to happen.

John closed his eyes then downed his drink. He knew he shouldn’t have especially since he hadn’t eaten anything all day. For breakfast he had his usually black coffee, and he was going for lunch when he overheard Layla about Evangeline’s pregnant. He obviously lost his appetite then.

He was feeling the alcohol and knew he should have called Michael and told him he needed to reschedule. But, he found himself listening to the liquid courage inside telling him to go confront Cristian and Evangeline, so he could get the answers he wanted. Why should he sneak around and ask his brother for help when he had the source across the room.

Michael walked into Rodi’s. He looked over at the bar for his brother since they were meeting for drinks. His expression quickly darkened as he noticed a determined look on John’s face. He watched as his brother slightly stumbled off the stool. He followed the direction of his brother’s glare and realized he was headed for Cristian and Evangeline. Michael rushed over to John midway and before anyone else noticed.

“Hey Bro, sorry I’m late.” Michael had turned John back in the direction of the bar.

“Perfect timing, Mikey.” John slapped Michael’s back with a heavy hand.

Michael led his big brother back to the bar. “Big Bro, it looked like you were on fire to go tell Cristian and Evangeline something.”

John ignored Michael as he balanced himself on the stool and tried to get the bartender’s attention. He knew the guy was purposely ignoring him, but he really didn’t care. He was feeling a little embarrassed about what he was about to do.

“What’s going on John?” Michael glanced over his shoulder at the happy couple. “It looks like those two are over there celebrating, and you didn’t look like you were going to wish them well.”

“Evangeline is pregnant.” John blurted out then cursed himself. He wiped his face with his hand. He shouldn’t have down them drinks on an empty stomach. They went straight to his head. Normally, it would take more than a couple of glasses to get him to feel anything. He was actually happy for his brother arrival. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he got over to Evangeline and Cristian.

John heard Michael order two cups of black coffee. He didn’t want coffee he wanted to go home. He couldn’t believe how easily he told Mikey about Evangeline. His brother was usually the only one he would and could open up to completely, but he always made him work for it too. Evangeline’s pregnancy must be bothering him more than he though. It would change everything in their lives. She would never leave Cristian. They would be tied for life with a child. John needed answers and since he couldn’t get them from the source, he needed his little brother’s help.

“Mikey,” John lend closer. “I need for you to get Evangeline’s medical records for me.”

“What?” Michael questioned shock. He glanced at the bartender who placed their coffees on the bar then walked away. “How many drinks did you have before I got here? They definitely clouded your judgment.”

“Michael, I’m fine. This is why I called you.” John looked serious, and it seemed like he sobered up a little. “I need to know how far along she is.”

“Do you realize how illegal that will be without a search warrant, and how unethical it is?” Michael glanced around then focused on John who was looking at him with a blank expression. “John, why do you need that information anyway?”

“Michael, I just need to know.” John glanced over at his ex-lover who was laughing and smiling at Cristian. “I just need to know.”

“She looks so happy, doesn’t she?” Michael asked looking at his brother watching her. “You once said all you wanted was for Evangeline to be happy. Have you changed your mind? Looking at her, she looks very happy.”

John rolled his blue eyes then glared at his brother. He hated when Michael stepped into his Dr. Phillips mode.

“Besides, if you are so curious, why don’t you ask her?” Michael looked over at John and got his answer from his brother’s direct stare. “Well, you know you can’t ask her with Cristian there. It was a good thing I stopped you. You and Cristian would have gotten into a fight, and Cristian would have said it’s none of your business.”

John rolled his eyes again and focused on the hot liquid in front of him.

“And, if you want the truth,” Michael waited for his brother to look at him to finish. “He would be right. You’re with Natalie now.”

John looked away and Michael started worrying about his brother. Usually at this point John would say something to validate his actions, but his big brother said nothing.

“John, are you still in love with Evangeline?”

John glanced at Michael then over at Evangeline.

“Ohmigod, you are!” Michael was speechless as he glanced over at Evangeline too then studied his brother. “What have you been doing with Natalie for this past year?”

John sighed then drank some of his coffee. He was losing his mind he decided as he prepared to tell his brother of the events of this morning. He knew it was the alcohol, but he needed someone to help him. He needed help to fix this nightmare…well, mistake he had gotten himself into. For once John decided to step out of his lonely place and allow his brother in completely. Michael had been closer than anyone, but tonight he needed his little brother to carry him completely. He needed…and wanted help.

Michael sat quietly as John started to tell him of the happenings of this morning, and the dreams he has had over the past few months.

When John finished, Michael glanced over at Evangeline and Cristian. He shook his head and whispered, “Poor Natalie.”

John wanted to order another scotch to block out the guilt he was feeling for leading Natalie on, but he knew his brother wouldn’t allow that. So, as he was accustomed he allowed it to eat him up inside.

Natalie Buchanan

Natalie was driving and dialing a number in her cell phone. When she successfully finished dialing the last digit, she placed the phone to her ear.

“Damn! John, why can’t you have your cell phone on?” She tossed her phone in the passenger side trying hard not to convince herself that it was a sign from above. After all, John always kept his phone on. He never turned the damn thing off unless it was an emergency. Maybe, he knew deep down inside that he messed up. Maybe, he didn’t want to get the phone call from her telling him it was over. She smiled inside. If John really felt that way, she couldn’t give up on them. “Stop it Natalie.” She chastised herself.

“Okay. I plan to get my dignity back and break up with John.” She focused on the road in front of her and realized it was too quiet in the car. She didn’t want to hear herself think. She made up her mind to call it quits with McBain. She pushed the radio on button to play some music, so she could drown out her thoughts. The sweet southern soul lyrics of Aretha Franklin “Chain of Fools” filled her car.

Natalie listened to the words almost allowing them to wrap around her. John loved jazz and blues. He was the reason her radio was on this particular station. She felt the words. She believed the words. She was just a link in his chain, but she loved him. And, if she could just get Evangeline out of the picture, he could love her completely too. He said it to her before. He never offered the words to Evangeline, but he offered them to her. Evangeline is the reason he treats her so cruel. She was the reason John couldn’t move on. Just like Caitlin. Natalie thought. John got rid of Caitlin’s things for her, and he would do the same with Evangeline’s stuff. “I just didn’t ask him.”

Natalie glanced at the radio. “Yes, I will take all I can take. John and I have a real chance.” She concluded as she decided to head to his room. She hit the number two button on her car radio where she had her country station programmed. She needed some of her favorite music to meditate on.

She did a triple take when she heard one of her favorite singer, Barbara Mandrell singing, “If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don’t Want Be Right”.

Natalie’s face lit up because she received all the confirmation she needed. She was thinking and feeling the right thing where John was concerned. John wasn’t a married man but no one supported her love for him. She just had to be patient with him. He will do the right thing. She knew him. They were the same.

Natalie continued to drive to John’s room as she listened to Barbara Mandrell. She wondered if she would love John if he was married and with kids. “Of course not.” She frowned and started to sing along with the song. Trying to ignore the silent voice that told her John wasn’t married, but his heart belonged to another woman. She started to sing louder believing in her heart she was about to solve that little problem. John will be mine. She thought.


Evangeline Williamson & Cristian Vega


“Cristian,” Evangeline smiled at her lover as he kissed her again. “John looks upset about some thing. Maybe, I should go over there and see if we can do anything.”

Cristian glanced over at McBain then picked up a French fry and put it in Evangeline’s mouth.

“Evangeline, you know McBain. He won’t talk about his problems if he was being tortured.”

Evangeline laughed as she gladly accepted the fry. Cristian was right, but she couldn’t help but worry about John. In her peripheral vision, she noticed he wasn’t drinking his usual beer, but he was drinking something stronger. Whiskey perhaps. She frowned inside when she noted how he knocked back his beverage without thought. She smiled attentively at Cristian, so he wouldn’t detect her concern for her ex. The last time she recalled John drowning his sorrows with alcohol Natalie was missing.

Hayes had trapped Natalie in a pit on Llantano Mountain, and John was consumed with finding her. And, Evangeline knew he had a right to be. After all Natalie was someone’s daughter, sister, niece…wife. She continued to smile at Cristian as she allowed her thoughts to get the better of her. Here she was again with one of Natalie’s ex, but this time she knew where she stood with this man. Cristian Javier Vega loved her, and she knew it. He offered her the words daily without her asking for them, and John couldn’t or wouldn’t do that. She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Cristian ask her something.

“So, Senorita Williamson, what do you want…a chico or chica?” He caressed her cheek lovingly.

“Cris,” She laughed nervously as Cristian noticeably placed his hand on her stomach. Her eyes swiftly gleamed over at John, and she forced herself not to move Cristian hands. She caught John looking again, and she was glad he didn’t know about her condition. She was glad no one in the room knew. Cristian’s action just seem like a lover who couldn’t keep his hands off his partner and not like a man who was touching a pregnant woman’s stomach.

Astound Evangeline shifted in her seat when she experienced the desire that John was drowning himself in alcohol because he found out she was carrying another man’s baby. She knew it was ridiculous since there was no earthly way he could know. Layla popped into her mind then she laughed the thought off. Her sister was a lot of things, but Layla Anisa Williamson isn’t suicidal. After the tongue-lashing she gave her sister about opening her big mouth, Evangeline was a hundred percent sure no one else will find out from her little sibling about her condition.

“So…chico or chica.” Cristian asked again removing his hand from her belly and grabbing a fry for himself.

“Senor Vega, I think it’s too early to be thinking about things like that.” She crossed her arms and placed them on top of the table. She really wanted to go over and see about John, but she had enough problems on her plate. Evangeline, you are here with Cristian, so be here with the man. How many times did she accuse John of this when they were dating? At that moment she blocked John out of her mind, and Cristian Vega became her focal point.

Evangeline was successful in giving Cristian all her attention until Michael walked in. John seemed to be headed towards her and Cristian. Cristian was talking about the baby and being a daddy, so he was completely clueless to the little interception.

Why was John coming over to them? Evangeline please! She reprimanded herself. How conceited could you be? Cristian and I are the last people John would want to walk over and say hello to. After all it was awkward enough being in the same room with your ex-lover and your current girlfriend’s ex-husband. Why would anyone make a point to have small talk?

Evangeline get control. She touched Cristian’s cheek instead of her own head, as she normally would have when she was thinking. Michael is here now. He will take care of his big brother. John doesn’t need…or want her. She’s with Cristian now. And, he’s with Natalie. Natalie is the woman he wants.

“Want to dance?” She stood and offered her hand to Cristian as she noticed someone started the music playing in the jukebox.

“You want to dance?” Cristian accepted her hand smiling.

“You know how much I love Brian McKnight.” She forced her eyes to stay glued on Cristian as she realized the song that was playing, Brian McKnight and Mariah Carey’s duet “Whenever You Call”.

Evangeline allowed Cristian to glide her to the small dance floor. She couldn’t help but glance at John again as she listened to the words. She was crushed when she saw the defeated look on his face. It was foolish, but she prayed it was for her. She knew better as she smiled and laughed when Cristian kissed her neck and whispered in her ear. She was being absurd as she consciously waited for John to look up at her. She knew if their eyes locked he would know she was silently dedicating this song to him. She was glad Cristian had his back to the McBains and saddened when John didn’t look over at her before the song ended.

He and Michael seemed to be in a serious conversation if the look on their faces and body language was any indication. John was talking and appearing to be telling his brother something that made him feel very uncomfortable. His body language was speaking volumes to her.

She observed Michael looking over at her then saying something to John. She also noticed John had rolled his eyes then called the bartender over. She prayed he was ordering some food because he was putting away those drinks earlier as if he was drinking water. She hugged Cristian tighter and continued to monitor the McBains. They both took turns looking in her and Cristian’s direction. Again, she wondered if they were discussing something about her. This time she didn’t feel silly about thinking in this train of thought.

When John food was placed in front of him, Evangeline rested her head on Cristian’s shoulder and focused on the next song playing. One of her all time favorite Brian McKnight’s songs “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind”. She allowed her body to relax against her lover as he gently massaged the small of her back as they dance. She felt someone staring at her and glimpsed over at John and was paralyzed by his penetrating gaze.

John was telling her with those piercing blue eyes that he was feeling the words Brian McKnight was singing. He just couldn’t say them out loud. Part of her wondered if John would ever change and be able to verbalize what he was feeling to another human being…well, to anyone other than his brother. She amended.

John and Evangeline were connected as their hearts silently answered the question Brian McKnight asked in his song. The confession he stated in the song for missing the one he was singing too planted a seed in both John and Evangeline’s heart. She couldn’t believe how strong her feelings still were for McBain. She thought she was finished with him. She thought they were finished.

Another Brian McKnight song, “Back at One” started and John pushed his plate away from him and stood. She froze speculating what he was about to do. He wasn’t the kind of man to cause a scene. Besides, he was in a committed relationship with Natalie, and he knew she was in a serious relationship with Cristian. How serious could it be Evangeline if you are pining for an ended relationship with your ex? For God sakes Evangeline you are in the arms of your current boyfriend. Get a grip!

John started walking towards her and Cristian, and she panicked as she conjectured he was coming to claim her. As in the movies, he was going to come over and take her out of Cristian’s arms. Evangeline Please! He was probably curious to why she continuously staring at him and his brother while she was in the arms of another man? What was she doing? What would she do if he was coming over to confront her? Her heart started bounding a mile a minute. She glanced at Cristian’s profile to see if he noticed a change. He didn’t thank God. When she looked back over his shoulder, John had passed them. When she glimpsed over her shoulder, she saw him standing in front of the jukebox. Her eyes went back over to the bar to find the youngest McBain studying her. Oh God, they were talking about her. She read the confirmation in Michael McBain’s eyes. She was good at reading people, and Mikey was telling her all. Did they know about the baby? No, she didn’t know how they could.

Cristian leaned back to look at her. She was stricken with fear. Oh God, please don’t let him know. Please. She couldn’t deal with this right now.

“I don’t think you are Brian McKnight’s number one fan here tonight.” Cristian teased lovingly.

“What?” Evangeline startled. Had Cristian caught her focusing on John?

“This is the third Brian McKnight song that has played.” Cristian pulled her closer to him again. “Someone else is just as crazy about him as you are.”

She relaxed and glanced over at Michael who was on the phone now.

“I think McBain is tired of hearing it though.”

“Why do you say that?” Evangeline offered trying to sound nonchalant.

“He’s at the jukebox playing something.” Cristian kissed her neck and pulled her even closer. “Get ready to start dancing to someone like Bruce Springsteen.”

John returned to his stool as Michael was ending his brief phone call. He must have been calling Marcie…or the hospital she thought. He was after all a doctor.

Evangeline then realized what Cristian had said. Bruce Springsteen. How did Cristian know John liked the Boss? Stupid question, she realized. Natalie of course.


John & Michael McBain

Michael studied his big brother speechless as he told his confession. He knew his brother had unresolved issues, but he would never have guessed it went this deep. He knew John loved Evangeline and even questioned if he was in love with her. Michael was taken aback to know his brother was still in love with his ex especially since he has been in a relationship with Natalie for almost a year.

John finished his confession and stared in his empty coffee cup. Michael looked at him then back at Evangeline and Cristian dancing on the floor.

“Man, this sucks. I would have never guessed you as the sentimental type.” Michael looked at Evangeline and Cristian. “You actually kept the ticket stubs to the first Eagles game you took her to?

John rolled his eyes at his little brother and decided it was time to get some food. He called the bartender over. He had to get something solid in his body because the scotch was clouding his judgment seriously. He couldn’t believe he unloaded everything on his little brother.

“Also add two scotch straight.” Michael said shaking his head. “You have actually shocked me into drinking.”

John stared at his little brother and smirked. He didn’t miss the glance Mickey gave Evangeline either before he made his next statement.

“And, keep them coming until the jukebox stop playing.” Michael reached in his pocket and pulled out his car keys and wallet. “Bro, it looks like tonight is on me…and we are taking a cab home.”

“I won’t argue with you there.” John reached in his pants pocket for his keys and handed them to the bartender smiling. He couldn’t remember the last time he got drunk with his little brother. He doesn’t think he ever got drunk with his little brother. This was definitely one for the record, and he’s glad his brother suggested it.

John glanced at Evangeline again and smiled inside when he caught her looking at them over Cristian’s shoulder. He wondered what she was thinking. Another smile emerged inside of him. She was concerned about him. She was probably thinking about the last time he drown his sorrows in alcohol. She thought it was about Natalie then, and she was wrong. Why couldn’t she see his heart belonged to her? It has since the first day he saw her in Angel Square.

“You know, Bro…” John listened as Michael sipped some of his scotch and winced from the burn. “I knew Evangeline was your soul-mate.”

“You did?” John grinned knowing he was going to love seeing Michael drunk. “You know. You better call Marcie before you forget your phone number.”

Michael rolled his eyes and sipped from his drink again. “Bro, I don’t have to report to Marcie. I’m a doctor. She knows I work long hours.”

“Really?” John taunted as the bartender placed his plate of food in front of him. “Must be nice to have that understanding.”

“You and Natalie really over?” Michael knew the answer, but he just wanted to see if his brother would say the words. John usually avoided answering direct questions.

“Mickey, I don’t see how she can forgive me.” John pushed his plate of food away from him and stood. He wanted to do one more thing while the alcohol still had him unwrapped from his normal coldness. “Natalie has put up with a lot of my crap, but even she couldn’t…wouldn’t live with that.”

John stared at Evangeline. He was starting to lose his courage. The alcohol and her favorite singer Brian McKnight were pushing him strongly, but he didn’t know if he could walk past her and not pull her out of Cristian’s arms. Brian’s song Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda was playing, and John could really relate to those words. But, there was one song that he heard earlier that said more of what he was feeling. And, the artist was more his cup of tea. He didn’t dislike Brian McKnight’s music, but he didn’t see himself buying the guy’s records for himself.

Michael examined John’s face as he watched him stare at his ex-lover and her current boyfriend. It was weird. His brother had just opened up to him completely, and he still had trouble reading his thoughts. The one thing he could see was John was very much in love with the fine criminal law attorney.

“Well…” Michael held up his glass for a toss. “Too freedom.”

“Freedom.” John chuckled as he glanced at his brother then headed towards the dance floor.

John walked over to the jukebox. He scanned the selection and beamed a little when he found the artist he was looking for. He was really surprised. He reached in his pocket and pulled out some coins. He placed the money in the change slot, made his selections, and headed back to the bar. When he sat down, he heard his brother say, “I love you and don’t wait up. I might stay at John’s so I won’t wake you. Okay. Okay. I love you more.”

“Scotch straight! Now!” John demanded. “No, just give me a gun, so I can put myself out of my misery.”

Michael ended his phone call from his brother teasing.

“Mikey, what happened to you don’t have to call.” John started eating his food as he waited for his brother’s answer.

“Well, I got sentimental…” Michael challenged. “Like my big brother.”

“Okay…Okay…Mickey.” John picked up his burger and bit a mouth full. He chewed a few times then finished. “I’m going to show you how to be a real Irish man. I’m going to drink you into the ground.”

Michael laughed.

“See, if you can keep up with your big brother then.” John smiled as his brother watched him eat.

“Bro, can I ask you one question before…” Michael stopped as John looked up at him.

John wasn’t sure how he knew what Michael was going to ask, but he did. He finished the food in his mouth and looked at his brother.

“Once I solved Dad’s case, I was able to have peace. I slept through the night by myself for the first time.” John sipped from his glass. “Natalie spent the night at Landfair. I can’t remember why.”

Michael silently listened to his older sibling.

“I got up the next morning and went to Dad’s grave. I told him I found his killer. I was able to say goodbye.” John sipped from his drink. “On my way home, I let my demons go. I finally put them to rest Michael.”

They shared a smile.

“Once I did that…all I could think about was what I had with Evangeline.”

Natalie Buchanan

Natalie stormed into John’s room carrying two empty boxes and singing Shania Twain song “You’re Still The One”. She beamed as she headed to the bedroom. Scanning the room, she saw the items from the safe box in the same place from earlier. She walked over to John’s memorabilia and kneeled down. She placed one box right beside her as she tossed the other one on the bed. She flung her hair off her shoulders then proceeded to deposit the evidence of John’s relationship with Evangeline into the box.

Natalie stopped singing and struggled to hold onto her pride as she saw new pictures of John and Evangeline. She turned one of them over and recognized his handwriting right off. “March 14, 2005 My 35th Birthday. Beginning of making memories with you. Evangeline, I love you too. J.” She rolled her eyes and hurled the picture into the box. She looked at the pile again and spotted a DVD case. She reached for it and read the title as she picked it up.

“Must be Evangeline’s.” She turned up her lip. “John likes movies with car catches, automatic guns, and nudity.” She tossed it in the box. “Not movies that will make a girly girl cry. See John, Evangeline didn’t know you. You like movies that have a high body count and not lovey dovey stuff.”

She couldn’t believe the items she was picking up. John wasn’t the sentimental type, but he held onto the simplest things that screamed Evangeline. When she came across a card, she decided to open it. She looked on the front and back of the envelope and didn’t see any writing. Glancing over her shoulder, she slowly opened the envelope to reveal the card. She inhaled as she pulled out the card and read the cover.

Apparently, it was a card asking for a second chance. She opened it after reading the cover and jumped when a piece of paper fell out of it. She laughed then started smiling when she figured the card and letter was for her. She knew John always wanted a second chance with her.

A voice inside her was telling her not to open the letter, but she ignored it. She adjusted her legs and sat Indian style as she tried to convince herself she wasn’t invading John’s privacy. After all, the letter was for her; she strived to believe. She started reading the letter in her lover’s handwriting.



August 19, 2005
Evangeline,

Natalie choked as she read Evangeline’s name and accepted the letter wasn’t for her. She willed herself to trash the letter, but there was a pull stronger to know what John had to say to Evangeline.

Evangeline,

I’m sitting in Natalie’s hospital room wondering why I’m not in your arms. I feel a strong connection to you at this moment as if you are calling me, but I know that is just wishful thinking. I know you have told me in more than one way its over, but Evangeline all I can think about is the fact I could have been pulling you out of that pit. I know you won’t believe me now, and I couldn’t say it while Natalie was still in danger. I was telling you the truth at Angel Square and at your apartment. You are all I ever wanted. You were furious with me when I kissed you, but I was trying to tell you I wanted you. That I was picking you when I saw you and Natalie tied to those poles. I can’t live without you. I can’t give you all that is inside of me. Not now anyway. Evangeline, I fell in love with you a long time ago. I’m afraid…I’m afraid if I tell you something bad will happen to you. Evangeline, I came to your place that night to get you to listen. You never listened. You only speculated. And, you speculated wrong. I told you. You are the woman I wanted to be with yesterday, today, and tomorrow. That hasn’t changed. It won’t change.

A tear fell from Natalie’s eyes, she tore the letter and card together.

“Lies!” She screamed at the box filled with John’s memories. “All lies!”

Natalie hurled the rest of the stuff into the box without looking at it. She quickly glanced under the bed and her eyes froze on a book. She leaned in and reached for it. When she pulled it out, she was taken aback to see the bold engraved words on it “Journal”.

“John keeps a journal.” She pushed to her knees and crawled on top of the bed. “Okay, John McBain. Let’s get inside your head.”

Natalie silently prayed she would discover John really loved her in these pages, but she knew she wouldn’t as she opened the book. Her hands started shaking and she forced herself to be strong. She opened the book midway and glanced at the top for the date.

September 25, 2005

Evangeline came over today and ripped into me. Her sister broke into my place and stole Cristian Vega’s file I had in my closet. Evangeline was the last person I wanted to know about my secret. The look of disgust and hurt on her face repulsed me. I should have listened to Mickey and Bo. I should have let Evangeline in, but now, she hates me. I will never have a chance to get her back. Damn Vega. Damn Natalie. I finally find love again after Caitlin and these two screwed up people are standing in my way. When I was with Evangeline my mind never drifted to anyone but her. I felt guilty at times that I even forgot about what I had with Caitlin with her. I never met anyone like her. I want to be with her one hundred percent, but she won’t believe me without the words. I’m afraid if I say the words to her something bad will happen. My mind still drifts to Evangeline. I can’t help it. What I felt…feel for her is so real? I don’t know why she won’t understand. I don’t deserve her. I know I don’t. She’s pure. She’s beautiful. I can’t help but wonder where we would be right now if I just said the words. Why can’t I say the words to make her happy? To make me happy. Why can’t I make things right? If something happens to her because of me, I could never continue live. Natalie asked Evangeline if she was pregnant. I wish the answer could have been yes. Things would be easier for me. I would always have a part of her then. A part of our love.

Natalie wiped her cheek again then turned the pages closer to the end. She glanced over the pages and saw words and sentences about how John felt about his father’s cold case. She noticed some of the words, phrases, and sentences repeated continuously through the pages. “I can’t sleep again.” “I need to find my father’s killer.” “I promised my father.” “I dreamed about her again.”

The entry for August 24, 2006 leaped out at her as she began to flip through pages. She immediately noticed her name, but as she read his entry she quickly realized his train of thought went to Evangeline.

August 24, 2006

Natalie almost blew my case out of the water with Thurman. I couldn’t believe she could be so reckless knowing how much it means to me to put my father’s killer behind bars. I’m not sure why I put up with her being a pain in my ass. She is cute, and it’s adorable how she wants to be there for me. I wish it was enough, but it’s not. I probably shouldn’t blame Natalie completely. Evangeline came to see me today. She referred to me as her friend, and I was thankful grateful for the reference. I remember when I asked her when we were going to stop acting like strangers. I can’t believe how much I still feel for her. I detest she is with Cristian Vega right now. She told me she was falling in love with him, and my heart stopped. I want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy, but it’s tearing me apart knowing Vega is making love to the love of my life. I see a shine in her eyes because of him, and I want to grab her and show her how I feel. She once told me I was the man that could take her into his arms and make her forget about the rest of the world. I want to do that now. I want to grab her and make her forget about Vega, Natalie, and this mess we are in. I want to get her to forget this past year. I know Natalie thinks I’ve changed my mine about being her soul mate, but I’m not her soul mate. I have created a lonely world for myself, and I don’t know how to get out of. I don’t know how to fix this. Evangeline is with Cristian, and I know he will never let her go. He will never let her down as I did. I think about Evangeline and me all the time. I can’t figure out how or why we didn’t work. Yes, I know, Natalie. I’m watching her sleep right now, and I can’t resent her. Natalie loves me even though I treat her like crap. I can see she is in love with me, and I feel guilty for keeping her from Vega, her real soul mate. I don’t mean to hurt her, but I can’t be the man she wants me to be. I still love Evangeline. I know for sure as of today because my heart was torn into pieces as she spoke of Cristian. She hugged me before she left, and I realized I never wanted to let her go. As she pulled away and smiled at me, I wanted to kiss her lips, but I know Evangeline would never go for that. If she’s with Vega, she will be with him completely.

Natalie turned the page as she refused to wipe the tears on her cheek. She was getting furious with John. He knew Cristian was alive. He felt Cristian was her soul mate, but he still broke them up. He still stood between them. Now, Cristian was with Evangeline. A date popped into Natalie’s mind, she wondered if John had an entry for it.

June 30, 2006

Today Manning invited several people in Llanview to the Country Club to thank them for saving his life. He gave a heartfelt thank you to Evangeline. She was the only one in the room besides his daughter and Vicki Buchanan who believed in him unconditionally. But, that is who Cookie is. I remember once she said if I told her we had a chance she would stick with me for life. I told her we did, but she’s not apart of my life now. I don’t blame her. I know it’s my entire fault, and I don’t know how to fix it. Manning decided he wanted to dance with her tonight. It took everything in me not to go separate him from her when I saw his arms around her. Manning wasn’t worthy to be in Evangeline’s present. Natalie asked if it bothered me, and I lied to her. Well, I really didn’t lie. I replied Evangeline was a big girl, and she can handle herself. I guess I told the truth. I should have told Natalie that I should be the one holding Evangeline in my arms and making her laugh. I haven’t been to visit with her since the accident happened, and I know I should be burnt at the stake for it. I know Evangeline won’t let me help her, and I can’t handle her pushing me away. I know my father is shaking his head at me. He’s probably saying something like, “You love her Johnny, and you need to be there for her.” Or “Don’t let another man do what you should be doing, Johnny.” If he only knew. Vega is probably way better for Evangeline than I am. I’m so dark and hopeless. She has enough of that in her life. I can’t add anything to her life now. I couldn’t when it was perfect. Vega will give the words she so desperately needs to hear. Then, she will realize he’s not the man for her. She will be free, but I still have Natalie. I watch her sleeping and wondered how I let things get out of hand. How did I let things go this far?

“You son of a bitch, John McBain!” Natalie screamed, slammed the journal closed, and threw it across the room. As the tears burned her cheeks, she ran her hand through her red hair. She looked down at her hands and realized she was shaking uncontrollably. She had to get out of here.


Evangeline Williamson & Cristian Vega


Evangeline and Cristian had returned to there seats when Brian McKnight stopped playing. She glanced at the jukebox and wondered what songs John decided to play. Her lover was right about the music John liked, but she didn’t recall Bruce Springsteen being in the jukebox.

“Do you want something else to eat?” Cristian asked as his cell phone went off. “Sorry.”

Evangeline watched for a second as he answered the phone then she took advantage of his distraction. She looked over at the McBain boys. They were laughing and drinking as though they were celebrating something. She couldn’t help but be curious to what they could be celebrating. She noticed John glancing at the jukebox. Stevie Wonders “Ribbon in the Sky” was playing, but she didn’t see John selecting it. When he went back to eating his meal, something in side her told her the song he selected would be a message to her. She couldn’t explain it, but she didn’t like it either. She studied Cristian then grabbed a cold fry and ate it.

As she chewed, she glanced at John again and observed him looking at the jukebox again. Her eyes automatically followed his actions then focused back on him. As her eyes locked with his sky blue ones, she felt a connection and confirmation the song he selected was for her.

“Hey, Adriana. Hold on. I can’t hear you.” Cristian’s voice shocked her back into her environment. He didn’t notice she jumped. “I’m going to go outside.”

“Okay.” Evangeline touched his arm in understanding. “I’ll be here.”

For a diversion from her ex-lover, she decided to go over to the jukebox. She wasn’t a detective, but she needed a diversion from John McBain. She allowed her fingers to touch the glass covering of the jukebox as she wondered what songs John selected. She noticed the digital indicator flashed G 12 for the next song. Her eyes scanned the selection as she looked for the song.

“James Blunt’s Goodbye My Lover.” She whispered and smiled to herself. “Well, McBain definitely didn’t play that song.”

Evangeline turned and leaned against the jukebox as the song started and wondered who selected the song. There were several couples in the room. She noticed some people sitting by themselves and speculated. When she heard the piano, she figured she’d go back to her seat and wait for Cristian. Prompting her left elbow on the table, she placed her chin on top of her fist. She played with the few fries on her plate as she listened to the words. She never heard the song before. It was kinda sad.

She concentrated on the song and wondered who could be so sad. Lonely. Her eyes glanced around the room then locked with John. She gasped when she found him gazing at her. He chose this song. She looked at the jukebox then back at him. His eyes were telling her he felt the words and was dedicating this song to her. John was playing this song to her.

Evangeline jumped out her seat and turned her back to John. She bit her bottom lip as she fought to clear her mind. She couldn’t allow herself to go there with John. Not now. She listened to the words at that moment. The singer was saying:

It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

It was silly to think he really meant those words. He was with Natalie. She was with Cristian.

Cristian! Her eyes shot up and she stared at the entry door for a minute. What was Adriana talking to him about? What was taking him so long? She had to get out of here. She took two steps towards her table and grabbed her purse. When she turned to go, she ran into Cristian.

“Hey, where is the fire?” He teased as he finally realized how flustered she was. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just ready to go Cris.” Evangeline refused to look over in John’s direction again. “I’m…I’m tired.”

“Well, that is expected with your condition.” Cristian dug into his jean pocket and pulled out some dollar bills. Evangeline glanced at the money he threw on the table then allowed him to escort her towards the door.

As she walked out, she felt John staring at her. She tried to walk out the door without looking back, but she failed when she heard the singer saying, “I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow”.

Evangeline and John’s eyes locked. She ignored what she was feeling and walked out with Cristian. She couldn’t think of John now. They have moved on. They were with different people now. This was wrong.

John and Michael McBain


“Bud, I’m going to give you some advice you once gave me about Marcie.” Michael offered smiling before taking a few sips from his drink.

“Really.” John rolled his eyes really not wanting to swallow any advice he had offered to his little brother about love. He watched his younger sibling and wondered how he would act if he was drunk. Then, he became more calculating and wondered how many straight drinks it would take to get his brother drunk. “I can’t wait to hear this.” John laughed knowing what he was plotting.

“You need to go over there and separate Cristian Vega from Evangeline.” Michael laughed too and took a few more sips. He had no clue his big brother was going to set him up. “You remember at the Palace when you told me that about Hayes and Marcie.”

“Can’t say that I do.” John lied taking a mouth size bite out of his burger. He remembered alright starting to feel guilty about what he was planning to do now to his younger sibling.

Michael had just got reinstated to the hospital after Antonio Vega got arrested for Tico’s murder. His little brother was bummed out about Marcie having dinner with Hayes. John laughed to himself. Mikey was so in love with Marcie it was comical.

John was trying to be helpful when he stopped Marcie and reminded Michael to ask her to the party. He didn’t think she would turn him down, and then he tried to redeem himself by trying to have Mikey do something John McBain style. Separate the problem from the equation.

John looked over at Cristian and Evangeline. He would love to walk over now and take his own advice. Words or not. Cristian Vega wasn’t the man for Evangeline. Never in a million years.

“Mikey, I would love to do that.” He played with his food for a moment and decided to cancel his plans. Marcie would probably kill both of them if Michael got pissy drunk. “But, when she asks me why I did it…and she will...what do I tell her?”

“What you should have told her almost a year or so ago.” The younger McBain locked eyes with his older brother and challenged him. “That you are in love with her.”

“Great! And when she tells me she’s having Vega’s baby, then what?” John grabbed his glass and took a few sips. The thought of Evangeline having another man’s baby didn’t agree with him at all. He knew if it was true then he will never have another chance with her.

Michael looked over at Evangeline and noticed she was watching them. He has caught her a few times looking at them. He wondered why she was so concerned about what was going on with them. Or he should say with John. The concern in her eyes and on her face let him know she still cared about John too.

“So, what song did you play?” Michael questioned finishing the last of his drink.

John rolled his eyes at his baby brother then he looked over at the jukebox. He wondered how many more songs he had to seat through before his selection played. When his eyes went over to Evangeline and Cristian, he caught her staring at him. He smiled inside reading her expression. She was curious to what song he had played and if he was sending her a message.

Okay Counselor. Let’s see if we are still connected. I once told you what we had no one could take away. Let’s put it to the test. He smiled inside again when he got confirmation from her eyes that she knew the song was a message from him to her.

Michael looked at John then Evangeline. He also noticed when Cristian put his cell phone to his ear. After a few seconds both McBain observed as Cristian stood and walked towards the entrance.

“Bud, go talk to her.” Michael urged.

John looked at his brother then back at Evangeline when he heard the song he selected start. He was about to stand when his eyes locked with hers and he saw the emotion in her eyes. He decided against going over to her, but he knew she understood what he was doing with the song.

Michael studied John then he looked over his shoulder at Evangeline. He couldn’t help and double check and make sure Cristian was occupied with his phone call. He once told John that his bet was on Evangeline and looking at the two now. He knew he didn’t make the wrong decision. These two were definitely still in love.

Michael frowned when Evangeline stood and turned her back to John. He looked at his older brother and saw the hurt in his face. John always tried to stay in control, but Michael was starting to see evidence of his brother losing the battle.

“Hey, Bro, I will check Evangeline’s medical records tomorrow.” Michael waited for John to look at him, but he didn’t. He just stared at the woman he was in love with. “I think she likes the song.” Michael watched as Cristian walked back in, and Evangeline looked flustered. When John didn’t take his eye off Vega’s woman, Michael prayed the other man would stay clueless. He noticed Evangeline purposely avoided looking in his brother’s direction until she got to the door.

“Thanks Mikey.” John said as he focused on his cold food after Evangeline and Cristian left. He saw in her eyes that he still had a chance. What they shared wasn’t dead? Now, he had to figure out what he was going to do about it. “Thanks.”

Evangeline stretched her arms in her bed and looked beside her when she didn’t feel Cristian’s body. She sat up and called his name at the same time. She smiled when she spotted him sitting in the chaise across the room.

“What are you doing over there?” She bit her bottom lip as she noticed the drawing pad in his hand.

“I’m drawing something beautiful.” He continued drawing as she ran her hand through her hair and got out of the bed.

“Cris, please tell me you are not drawing a picture of me sleeping.” Evangeline walked over to him in her two-piece pink silk pajama short set. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw the drawing of her on the sketchpad. Cristian Vega was such a talented artist. She quickly said a silent prayer that his boxing career wouldn’t ruin his painting one. “It’s beautiful Cristian…I can’t believe how beautiful you have made me look…peaceful…”

“Believe me.” He put the sketchpad on the floor beside him and reached for her. “All the credit goes to my beautiful subject.”

Evangeline giggled as he pulled her over the arm of the chaise and started kissing her neck.

“Cristian….Cris…Cristian stop.” She pleaded as she wiggled and giggled in his arms.

“I’ll stop if you say the magic words.” He informed as he continued his assault on her.

“What…what do I need to say?” She asked as she tried to stop him.

“Tell me you love me.” He said easing up a little. He didn’t want her to fall off the chaise or anything.

“I love you. I love you okay.” Evangeline sat up as he stopped tickling her and turned to him. She offered him a bright smile as he cupped her face.

“I love you too Evangeline Williamson.” He lowered his eyes and spoke in Spanish. “And, you too beautiful baby.”

Evangeline studied him with mixed emotions then cleared her mind. She couldn’t think about this with Cristian around. He would start questioning her and wanting to talk about her feelings. And, she couldn’t right now. Not until she was in control of things.

“I’m hungry.” She realized as she stood up and walked towards her bed for her matching robe. “I have a taste for some of your mom’s croqueta.”

When Cristian didn’t reply, she turned to find him smiling at her.

“Why are you smiling?” She put on her robe as he continued to smile. “Cristian!”

“My baby has taste.” When she frowned at him, he continued. “Your first craving…”

“Craving…” She interrupted him not liking how final that sounded. They didn’t even know if she was pregnant or not. According to the test, she took last night she wasn’t. Besides, it is too early for her to have cravings. Isn’t it? “It’s too early for me to start having cravings.” She turned and started making up the bed.

“Actually…” Cristian stood. “It’s not.”

Evangeline turned around and focused on him. She thought about the question first then asked him. “How do you know so much about pregnant women?”

She noticed pain in his eyes before he looked away. When he looked back at her, it was gone.

“Jessica was pregnant when I was with her. She lost the baby.”

“Jessica?” Evangeline said surprised. “What happened if you don’t mind me asking?”

“It’s okay.” Cristian walked over to her and sat on the bed as he relived one of the most pain periods in his life.

Evangeline listened and couldn’t believe how open this man could be with her. He shared everything with her, and she loved that. He let her in to the brightest parts of his life and the darkest.

Someone banging on his door awakened John. He groaned and turned over in his bed. When the annoying banging did stop, he slide out of bed and stormed over to the door. He was dressed in a wife-beater t-shirt and sweatpants.

“What the hell is your problem?” He bellowed as she snatched the door open and was surprised to find Natalie on the other side.

“No, John, that is my question.” Natalie rushed passed him.

“What are you doing here Natalie?” He asked as he closed the door and controlled his anger. He really didn’t care about the way he was awaken, but more importantly he didn’t like the way he found his room when he came back last night.

It was evident to John that Natalie had come back over after he left for work yesterday. He was outraged when he came home to find his memories of Evangeline in a box and an empty box on his bed. He could only imagine what Natalie was going to do, but he felt his hunch was right on the money. Unlike Evangeline, Natalie was very predictable.

“I came to pick up my things.” She spun around to face him. “Oh and for this.” She punched his left jaw with a right hook. “You son-of-a-bitch.”

John rubbed his jaw as she glared at him. If he wasn’t a gentleman, he would have punched her back the way he was feeling right now. He couldn’t bury the knowledge that she had all intentions of throwing away his memorabilia of Evangeline. He didn’t know what stopped her, but she better be thankful she did.

“How could you use me John?” Natalie ranted as she started pacing in his room. “I gave myself to you completely, and you selfishly used me.”

“Natalie, please. Stop playing the victim and being overly dramatic.” He snapped not wanting to do this again. Yesterday, he had this conversation, and he didn’t need an encore today. It is time he ended it with Natalie and get back on the right track. He wanted Evangeline. He needed Evangeline.

Natalie watched as John placed his hand on his hips and glared at her.

“You said you were coming to get your stuff. So get it and leave.” He barked as he started towards the bedroom. “I have two boxes you can use. I have to empty one of them.”

“You son of a bitch!” She threw her purse at him and was scared for a brief moment when he whirled around as it hit the floor.

“Natalie, you are not a child.” He pointed at her with rage in his eyes. “But, I swear to you if you hit me or throw one more thing at me. I will put you over my knee and give your spoil ass the whipping Vicki, Clint, and Roxy should have.”

Natalie huffed as she went to the closet to get her things. Tears were running down her cheeks, and she was overwhelmed with emotions. As she grabbed a few of her skirts hanging up, she couldn’t stop her mind from replaying everything she read in his journal and the last year of their life. When she stepped out of the closet, her eyes met John’s briefly before he looked away. She saw the guilt in his eyes from hurting her, but she didn’t see any remorse or love. She folded the skirts over her arm and headed to the bedroom. She prayed he would stop her and confess his love. When she heard him move towards her, she had a little hope until she watched him empty the memories of Evangeline onto the bed and hand her the box.

“Why not me John?” She stared at him as tears flowed down her cheek. “Why couldn’t you have loved me? Why couldn’t you have falling in love with me?”

John didn’t reply.

“I gave you all of me. I…I….slept with Vincent for you to get the information you needed to help solve your father’s murder.”

“You slept with Vincent Jones?” John placed his hands on his hips still holding the box and shook his head. “I tell you to stay out of my business, and you sleep with another man and blame it on me.”

“John,” Natalie realized what she confessed and regretted it. She regretted more that John was acting like a detective and not a jealous boyfriend. “I did it for you. He wasn’t going to help me.”

“Natalie, let’s be real.” John tossed the box he was holding on the bed. He couldn’t believe how long he has put up with her. “You slept with Jones for yourself. You have this ideal in your head that you can fix me. Your mothers, your brother, Evangeline…even I told you, you couldn’t!” He yelled. “Don’t blame me for your screwed up life. And, for prostituting yourself.”

“My life has been screwed up because of you. John, I had everything before you walked into my life.” She screeched. “Cristian loved me. I was loved, but I had to believe you loved me.”

John rolled his eyes.

“You told me you loved me!” She whined as the tears burned her cheeks. She searched his face for some hope, but when John glared at her, she didn’t see any emotion from him. The reality to her words was John said she was someone he loved after saving her life for the countless time. Of course, she took it to mean he loved her, but he was just trying to let her know she was someone who he cared about. But, she refused to listen to Michael and John.

“Natalie I do care for you.” John confessed his tone still harsh. “But, I told you right here in front of Evangeline that I wasn’t your soul-mate.”

“You broke up with her to be with me. When I was in the pit, everyone told me you were worried sick about me.” Natalie continued to fight the truth. It was hard for her to accept the last year of her life was a lie.

“For the record Natalie, Evangeline ended it with me.” John knew, if he was ever going to free both of them, he had to be brutally honest. He had to be heartless. “I tried several times to get her back, but she loved herself more than she loved me.”

“See, John…I…I would never walk away from you.” Natalie wiped her tear-stained cheeks and reached for him. “I love you…”

“Natalie, love yourself more.” He grabbed her wrists and stopped her from embracing him. “We can’t continue doing this.”

John studied Natalie, and he couldn’t believe how defeated she looked. He wanted to hold her and take away her pain. He stepped forward to hug her, but he stop abruptly when he remembered the last time he was honest with her. He could have had a second chance with Evangeline, but she walked in on him comforting Natalie. He had been completely honest with Natalie that day and saw the hurt he caused. He softened and tried to comforter her, but Evangeline found them holding each other and misunderstand.

John sighed then stepped back. If he was going to be the man, Evangeline deserved…He couldn’t be friends with Natalie.

“Natalie, I’ll leave you to get your things.” John started towards the bathroom door. “I need to get ready for work.”

Natalie started crying again, but John didn’t stop walking.

“Shut the door behind you when you leave.”

Natalie watched as John opened and walked through the bathroom door. Her heart shattered when she heard the click of the bathroom door. John was shutting her out. Her eyes drifted to the bed where he dumped Evangeline’s items. His birthday picture was the first thing she saw then his words from yesterday morning replayed in her mind. "Evangeline don't leave me."

She dropped her skirts as she stared at his room. Cristian was with Evangeline. John wanted Evangeline. “I have nobody.” She ran her hands through her hair and ran towards the door. “I have nobody.” She repeated over and over as she left John’s room.

Evangeline was sitting at her desk typing on her computer. She glanced at the brief on her desk then back at the computer screen. She allowed her mind to drift back to the conversation she had with Cristian earlier. She understood better now why he wanted this baby so much. She found herself getting use to the idea.

Cristian was a wonderful man in spite of his jealous side. He was someone who freely and willingly opened up to her. She was allowed to search all aspects of his life. He never shut her out even with the painful experience.

She recalled a conversation she had with John during one of their arguments. She smiled inside remembering even when they argued it was good. This particular one was when he accepts advice from Natalie about an issue they were having about her having a key to his place. Well, she now know her suspicion were right on the money about Natalie testing the temperature of her relationship with John.

John. Natalie. Her thoughts roamed back to last night at Rodi’s. John was drowning his sorrows again. Why? Was everything okay with him and Natalie?

Evangeline reached for her phone and dialed John’s office number. When she heard the first ring, she quickly replaced the phone back in its cradle.

“What are you going to say Evangeline?” She ran her hand through her hair. “John, is everything going okay with you and your girlfriend.”

She forced her mind back on her own problem. She couldn’t and wouldn’t worry about John and Natalie. If they had problems, they didn’t need her to butt in as Natalie had done with her several times when she was dating John. However, if John wanted to come to her as a friend, she would listen. She will not insinuate herself into their relationship. Besides, she had her own relationship to focus on.

Beep. “Evangeline, Cristian is on line two.”

Evangeline pressed the intercom button. “Thanks Amy.”

She picked up her phone again and pressed line two.

“Cristian, Dr. Toussaint has not called to inform me of any cancellation. You just have to wait until my appoint.” She informed assuming her lover was calling because she couldn’t get an appointment until later on in the week. But, Dr. Toussaint did promise if there were any cancellations, she would have her receptionist give her a call.

“Tiger, I wasn’t calling for that.” Cristian enlightened teasing her with the nickname he gave her, and she hated.

“Cristian, you promised not to call me that.” She rolled her eyes and smiled when she realized he couldn’t see her.

“Okay. Then, princess.” Cristian smiled when he heard her beautiful laugh travel through the phone. Between the two, he knew she preferred to be called a tiger.

“What can your Tiger do for you?” She asked moving her computer mouse and reading the material on the screen.

“I was calling to see if you wanted to do lunch.”

“I’m sorry.” Evangeline stopped moving the mouse. “I can’t. I am swamped.”

“Okay.” Cristian said his disappointment evident. “Well, Vincent just told me he set up a sparing session for me tonight. I will be training late, so…I guess, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” She replied not realizing she was a little too perky for him. “Maybe, we can do breakfast if you’re not too tired. I’m going to be in court all day tomorrow starting at ten.”

“Okay.” He replied wanting to comment on why she wasn’t disappointed they couldn’t see each other tonight. “I’ll call you before I start training, okay.”

“Okay, my Little Liquidator, don’t hurt anyone. Bye.”

Evangeline returned the phone to its cradle and sighed as she looked at the folders piled on top of her desk. One name caught her eye. Collier Marsden. Now, she could go to the station with this folder. She did need copies of some records. John wouldn’t be the one to handle this, but she would have an excuse to stop by. She was in the building and decided to swing by and say hi to her friend. Okay Williamson. You know what you are going to say to John. What about Natalie if she’s there?

She stood while she chewed on her bottom lip. “I’ll think of an excuse when it happens.” She grabbed the folder and looked around for her purse. She didn’t have to worry about Natalie. Evangeline was good with words and thinking on her toes. She walked over to her office sofa, grabbed her purse, and headed for the door. When she reached the door, she stopped and placed her hand on her head. “No, no! I’m not going to do this.”

“Damn!” She walked back to her desk and threw the folder and her purse on top of it. She went over to the sofa, sat down wondering how one song, one intense stare, and one night could have her so confused. “Damn you John McBain.”

She ran both of her hands through her hair then focused on the floor. Last night awakened a feeling in her that she knew wasn’t dead, but it was buried deep enough she could ignore it. Now, it has resurrected and mystified her. She glanced at her watched and remembered she had an appointment with a client in less than an hour.

John was walking out of the apartment building at 345 Fuller Street when his cell phone went off. “John McBain.” He answered as he headed towards his car.

“Hey, Bro.” Michael greeted.

“Hey Michael. What can I do for you?” John unlocked his car door and climbed in as he listened to his brother.

“I checked the hospital’s computer, and Evangeline hasn’t been seen here since her stairway accident.”

“Yeah.” John sighed remembering how he didn’t visit her then when he found out about it. Truth be told, he was torn to pieces until Michael assured him she was going to pull through. He went back and forward with whether or not he should go visit her. When he found out Manning and Vega were both acting like jerks in the hospital, he figured she didn’t need his darkness to be added in the mix. He kept close tabs on her through his brother using the excuse that she was still his friend. He wasn’t sure whom he was trying to convince, but Evangeline has always been the best part of his life since she walked into it. “Okay thanks.”

There was silence for a minute then John decided to let Michael in on his plans. Well, one or two of them, anyway.

“Hey, Michael, what are you going to be doing this Saturday?” John asked nonchalantly.

“I don’t know. Marcie didn’t mention anything about us having plans.”

John choked back his laugh then said, “Well, maybe, I should call Marcie and see if you can help me move this weekend.”

“Funny. Very funny.” Michael said then realized what his brother just said. “Hey, you’re moving out of Angel Square Hotel.”

“Yeah, Mikey.” John confessed. “I gave Roxy my 30 days notice today. She told me it wouldn’t be necessary. She will be cool with me just paying for the time I stay.”

“Well, that was nice of her.” Michael’s voice revealed that he was surprised. “She must not know about you and Natalie.”

“No, I don’t think she does.” John started his car and drove off. “Knowing Natalie she ran straight to Landfair…But when Roxy does find out, I don’t want to have to arrest her for anything stupid.”

“Well, do you think Marcie and I should move out too?” The younger McBain sounded concerned.

“No, I don’t think Roxy is that crazy.” John pondered the thought for a second. “Besides, she has never treated you different when Natalie and I had problems before. I don’t think she will start now.”

“Okay. So, have you found a place?”

“Yeah, if you got a pen and paper, I can give you my new address now. I got a two bed room with two baths.” John informed.

“Two bedrooms. Hmm.” Michael teased. “Could one of those room be used for a nursery?”

“Bye Mikey.” John ended the call as he smiled inside and without giving his brother his new address. Michael hit it right on the money for the reason he got the two-bedroom apartment. He wasn’t sure when he was going to approach Evangeline, but he knew he was going to get her back. He told her once before he didn’t want to lose her, and he did. It was time he stop letting her down.

“Natalie?” Evangeline questioned as she walked up to Cristian’s loft and saw Natalie knocking on the door. Natalie spun around in surprise.

“Evangeline…I…I didn’t think…” Evangeline observed how nervous Princess Buchanan was. “I didn’t think you would be here. I needed to talk to Cris.”

“About?” Evangeline asked not caring if it was her business or not. She definitely knew something was up now. John was drowning himself in a bottle, and Natalie was running to the other man that used to be her hero. “What business can you have with Cristian?”

Natalie was stunned and wondered what was wrong with Evangeline. She has never known the uptight defensive attorney to be purposely rude. She continued to watch as Evangeline stepped around her and waited for an answer in front of the door.

“He’s not in.” Natalie offered avoiding the question.

“I know.” Evangeline fished in her purse. She pulled a set of keys out, opened the door, and turned to face her nemesis. “I have a key.”

Evangeline stared Natalie down knowing the lady got her meaning. When Evangeline was with John they had a small issue about John giving her a key to his place. Evangeline knew she was being bitchy, but she wanted Natalie to know that her relationship with Cristian Vega was nothing like the one she had with John. They were solid, and she had no doubts about it.

Evangeline decided even if she wasn’t in love with Cristian she wasn’t going to let this spoil rich Buchanan girl interfere with her relationship with him.

“You have a key?” Natalie regretted the words after they came out.

Evangeline smiled, glanced at the open door, then back at Natalie. “I have more than a key.” Her unspoken “I have Cristian” was louder than if she would have said it out loud.

Natalie watched as Evangeline crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“So, again, I ask what business do you have with Cristian?” She repeated her question in an impersonal tone.

“Chill Evangeline.” Natalie was offended by what Evangeline was implying. Contrary to what she was implying, Natalie didn’t want to break up every relationship the woman had with her exs. Okay, Natalie wanted to visit Cristian to see if he still had feelings left for her, but who is Evangeline Williamson to think the worst of her? Natalie sighed inside as she realized how much she hated this woman, and the fact John wanted her…and Cristian. “I’m with John, and we are extremely happy. I just came to see how Cristian is doing. I’m his friend.”

Evangeline’s eyes roamed up and down Natalie then she decided to have a little fun. She knew she was wrong, but she blamed it on her hormones and brushed them aside. And, as far as little Ms. Red saying everything was fine between her and John that was a joke. John intense glaze flashed into her mind, and she shook it off. There was definitely trouble in paradise.

“I’m sorry Natalie. I apology for being rude a few seconds ago. Of course you and Cristian are friends. Just like me and Nora.” Evangeline walked into the loft. “Come in. Cristian is training, so he won’t be here for a while. But, I’m here and I have a feeling I can answer your questions.”

Evangeline walked over to the couch and tossed her purse down. When she didn’t hear the front door shut, she turned and ran her hand through her hair. “It’s okay Natalie. Cris won’t mind. He told me su casa is mi casa. Would you like something to drink?”

“That’s great Evangeline, but I should go.” Natalie started to back away as she watched at how comfortable Evangeline was in Cristian’s home. Evangeline shocked her when she rushed over and pulled her in.

“Natalie, you can’t go just yet. You came here for something, and I want to make sure you leave with your answer.” Evangeline wanted to make it clear to Natalie that she wasn’t going to tolerate interference from her in this relationship. “I think we need to talk. Since Cristian and I hooked up we really haven’t been focusing on anyone but us.” Evangeline watched, as Natalie stood uncomfortable in the loft. “Are you sure you don’t want something to drink…. or eat…” Natalie watched as the other woman walked to the fridge. “We have Chinese left from last night or Thai from the night before”

Evangeline looked over her shoulder and saw the silent no nod. “Okay, then, how about we just jump into the talk.” She grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. “Cristian and I haven’t run into you since we became a couple. We have had so many people supporting us. Jessica, Antonio, Carlotta, John…almost the whole town has given us their blessing and wished us well. Everyone is so happy that we were able to move on since our hearts were shattered from the wrong matching… Isn’t it funny how you can miss out on the right thing when you have your eyes on the wrong prize?”

Natalie stared at her rival.

“Tell me Natalie.” Evangeline looked innocently at her. “Do we have your blessing?”

“Why do you need my blessing?” Natalie asked confused.

“I don’t.” Evangeline’s expression turned cold. “I just wanted to see if you will be woman enough to tell me the truth for once. I saw John at Rodi’s drowning himself in alcohol, so I know things aren’t F-I-N-E with you two. And, I assume you had an epiphany and decided you will cry on Cristian’s shoulder. And, see if he will say how McBain isn’t the right guy for you. Well, I’m here to tell you both of Cristian’s shoulders are taken.”

“For your information EVANGELINE, John and I are in love and we are fine.” Natalie barked not caring if it wasn’t the truth. She wasn’t going to let anyone get the better part of her.

“Natalie, if you and John are so much in love, why are you in my man’s house.” Evangeline squared her shoulders, smirked, and decided to go for the win. “And, unlike John I don’t have a doubt in my mind where Cristian’s heart and mind is. He’s in love with me; so don’t waste your time playing the helpless victim. Unlike John, I know one hundred percent that Cristian will pick me over you.” Evangeline saw something in Natalie’s eyes that made her continue. She chuckled then added. “But, then again, John did choice me too…didn’t he? It wasn’t until months after I broke up with him and you played the victim several times that he gave you the lead role.”

Natalie gasped. “You bitch!”

Evangeline glared as Natalie turned and stormed out. She felt a little bad when she saw the water forming in Natalie’s eyes before she turned. She chewed on her bottom lip and wondered if she had to be so cruel? If this is what pregnancy was going to be like for her, she felt sorry for the people around her. Then, she smiled knowing it would help her greatly in the courtroom.

She was startled when she heard her cell phone ringing. She walked over to the couch, grabbed her purse, and fished her phone out. She flipped open her razor and answered, “Evangeline Williamson…Hello Dr. Toussaint…Great…. An hour…. Okay…See you then…. Thank you.”

She closed her razor then opened it back up. She started dialing Cristian’s cell phone number then stopped when she remembered the home pregnancy test results. If Dr. Toussaint tells her she is not pregnant, Cristian will be crushed. And, if she’s not pregnant, what could be causing her cycle to stop. She closed the phone deciding she needed to do this alone. If she wasn’t pregnant and something else was wrong, she didn’t need nor won’t Cristian to play the hero for her. He jumped into that role when she was blind, and it didn’t sit well with her then.

John walked out of his office and froze when he saw Natalie and Bo standing across the room. They looked very serious. He wondered for a moment what was going on, and then he remembered if his plan was going to work he had to stay away from Natalie Buchanan.

He walked over to the file cabinet behind them and started looking for the file he needed. He glanced over at them and prayed Natalie wouldn’t cause a scene. She was hot tempered, but she wasn’t stupid. Bo had told them both that he didn’t want their relationship to interfere with the job.

“John, when you get a moment, I need to speak with you.” Bo said in a professional tone.

“Okay, Boss.” John walked over and waited for Natalie to say her goodbyes.

“Sorry Uncle Bo.” Natalie hugged her uncle. “I really appreciate all you have done. I love you.”

John noticed she glanced at him, turned, and left.

“What’s up Bo?” John followed the Police Commissioner into his office.

“Natalie, just turned in her notice effective immediately.” Bo studied John.

“Did she tell you why?” John questioned wearing his poker face.

“Only that she seriously wanted to pursue her forensic career and couldn’t do it here. She said she was offered an apprenticeship in Atlantic City.”

“Oh.” John nodded his head.

“She said it was an opportunity of a life time, and she couldn’t past it by without regret later.”

“Yea. I understand.” John studied his older friend and wondered what he really wanted from him. “I still have some connections there, so I will make sure she’s looked out there.”

“I get the feeling…that’s no longer your job.” Bo waited till John’s eyes met his. When they did, he got confirmation that his assumption was right. “Well, I’m surprised you two went this long. I think everyone knows where your heart is.”

John stood in front of his boss and ex-girlfriend’s uncle uncomfortable, but he didn’t break their gaze.

“I know you would never intentionally hurt my niece…but, you know Evangeline isn’t available now either.”

“Bo…” John jumped in not wanting to discuss his intention with Natalie’s uncle even if Bo was his friend.

“John, I know this can seem weird talking to me because I’m Natalie’s uncle.” John’s eyes gave Bo confirmation about how the Chief Detective was feeling. “But, you are my friend too. I can separate the two.”

They stood in silence for a few minutes.

“For the record, I knew once you solved your father’s murder…and but your demons to rest that it would only be a matter of time…you realized Evangeline was the woman you were in love with.”

“Bo, I didn’t mean…” John waved his right hand out as he tried to explain.

“I know. Natalie saw what she wanted to see.” Bo sat down at his desk. “Just because she’s my niece doesn’t mean she can’t be wrong. She wanted you.”

John gaze went to the floor.

“She didn’t want to see you weren’t the right man for her. Anyone looking from the outside could see you weren’t in love with her.” John glanced back up at Bo. “I know you cared, but you weren’t in love…and, I know you tried. But, we can’t control the heart.”

Both gentlemen were quite until they heard a knock on the door and Nora walked in.

“Bo, I hope I’m not interrupting, but I need to talk to you….It’s dealing with Matthew.”

Bo and John cleared their throats. Nora studied both of them and saw how uncomfortable they were. She watched as John said a hasty thank you and rushed out.

“I’m not pregnant?” Evangeline questioned Dr. Toussaint as the mid-age black woman looked over her medical report. “But, I haven’t had a cycle this month. And, I’m always regular.”

“Well, everything is fine according to the test I had ran, so let me ask you some questions to see if we can’t get to the bottom of this.” Dr. Toussaint answered in her Caribbean accent. “Have anything changed in your personal life?

“What do you want to know?” Evangeline watched as the doctor wrote in her folder.

“I know you have a very strenuous job, so do you have a case now that is causing more stress than normal?”

Evangeline shook her head no as she thought about all her open cases. There was nothing on her plate that would compare to the Manning case, and she knew Todd Manning’s case was definitely her most strenuous one.

“Okay. What about diet or exercise?” Dr. Toussaint glanced up then looked through the folder. “According to our record you have actually gain a few pounds, but if memory services me correctly, you seem a little smaller.”

“Well…” Evangeline frowned as she realized her clothes were fitting a little loser than normal. “I’m working out more.”

Dr. Toussaint closed the folder and focused on her patient. “Why? You have always been in wonderful health, and I can’t think of a single female that wouldn’t agree that you have a wonderful body. Why are you concerned about your figure now?”

“You have it wrong.” Evangeline laughed nervously as she realized her doctor’s train of thought. “I don’t have a problem with my looks. I happen to love my body and everything about me…not to sound conceited.”

Dr. Toussaint laughed at how her patient tried to sound humble and confident at the same time. “So, why are you working out more?”

“My boyfriend is a boxer, so I work out with him. Since I went back to work, my schedule has been hectic…and he’s training for a fight…” Evangeline tried to read the expression on the doctor’s face, but when she didn’t have any luck she continued. “I do my solitary running in the morning. If I get blocked on a case, I’ll go to the gym during my lunch and try to work it out. Then, I will train with him after work.”

“Wow!” Dr. Toussaint smiled. “You have a lot of energy. What kind of training do you do with him?”

Evangeline thought for a moment then answered. “We jump rope, run, weights…you know, typical boxing training.”

“So, you run with him and you run on your own every day?”

“For the most part.” Evangeline asked wondering why her doctor was so concerned about her fitness activities.

“Could you say this increase started about a month ago?”

Evangeline pondered the question for a moment then replied yes.

“Well, I think I know what is wrong with you. You have what we call Hypothalamic-pituitary dysfunction…simpler athletic amenorrhea. I am sure if you have it checked out, you will find that your body fat level is too low. You need to stop working out alone or stop working out with your partner. Your body can’t handle both.”

Evangeline sat silently as she listened to the doctor and instruction on how to correct it. She was surprised when she heard herself ask the doctor if this would effect her having children in the future. She knew in her heart she wasn’t going to have children with Cristian, so she wondered whom she was planning on having kids with.

Dr. Toussaint gave Evangeline some pamphlets and instructions on how to get her body back to normal.

Evangeline walked in Rourke’s on her cell phone. She stopped in her tracks when she spotted Natalie and Cristian embraced. Ending her phone call, she rolled her eyes and sighed as she wondered how thick the red head skull was. Chewing the inside of her left cheek, she examined how Cristian held his ex-wife, and she determined her boyfriend was just offering friendship. She was too familiar with how the other woman worked. Natalie would unquestionably read more into Cristian comfort than what is there. When she felt the urge to walk over and slap the red head, she silently prayed for God’s help. Then, again, they were in the right place for it. She was getting furious by the minute. Did Natalie not hear a single word she said earlier?

Suddenly Evangeline realized the reason she rationalized earlier for putting Natalie in her place was void. When she was cruel to Natalie earlier, she thought she was pregnant, but now, she knows she’s not. She glanced around and realized no one noticed she had come in. She slowly stepped back out. Before she could leave, she heard Cristian calling her name. She stopped and smiled at him.

“Hey Cristian.” Evangeline embraced the sweaty boxer as he hugged her then kissed her on the cheek.

“I wasn’t expecting you, Tiger.” Cristian greeted her cheerfully. “But, it’s a wonderful surprise.”

“I needed to talk to you.” Evangeline informed as she glared at Natalie. She knew the other woman knew exactly what she was thinking when she wouldn’t meet her glaze.

“Well, Cris, I have to get out of here.” Natalie smugly looked at her nemesis. “I will see you around.”

“Okay.” Cristian said nonchalantly as he started gathering up his things. “Evangeline give me a minute then I’m all yours.”

“Take your time.” Evangeline said stopping Natalie in her tracks by stepping in front of her. “I need to remind Natalie of that.”

Cristian stopped and frowned. “Huh?”

“Nothing Babe.” Evangeline smiled as she waved at him then crossed her arm in front of her chest. “Natalie will keep me occupied until you are ready.”

“Evangeline, what is your problem?” Natalie snapped and rolled her eyes.

“You are my problem Natalie. Apparently, I didn’t make myself clear earlier.”

“I think you did. You’re insecure about your relationship with Cristian. The same way you were insecure with your relationship with John.” Natalie smiled smugly. “Did I nail it on the dot?”

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” Evangeline glanced over Natalie’s head at Cristian then placed her hands on her hips. She stepped closer to her rival and spoke so she was the only one who could hear her. “I’m not going to let you insinuate yourself into this relationship like you did my last. One quality I liked about John was he is a good listener. And, since you have told me several times how much he is in love with you, let him listen to your damn problems.”

“Cristian is my friend, Evangeline. If you can’t handle that, it’s your problem not mine.” Natalie followed Evangeline’s glaze to the boxing ring then the young Buchanan laughed.

“Just like John was your friend?” Evangeline said sarcastically and leaned even closer, so she could whisper in Natalie’s ears. “I meant what I said. Stay away from Cristian.”

“And, if I don’t?” Natalie challenged not liking to be told what to do especially from Evangeline Williamson. She frowned when the beautiful defense attorney smiled then answered.

“You know Natalie. I should understand your friendship with my boyfriend because I have a similar friendship with your Uncle Todd. I mean Blair is so insecure about it. She thinks Todd will do anything for me.” Evangeline smiled knowingly. “How ridiculous is that?”

Natalie looked at her ex husband’s girlfriend confused.

“But, Todd is so funny. The things he has done in his past. I mean Nora and Blair has been burning my ears about the things he will do for the people he loves.” Evangeline enjoyed the confound expression on the other woman’s face. “How is Jessica’s heart?”

Natalie frowned then asked “Evangeline, what does Jessica’s heart have to do with anything?”

Evangeline glared at the red head, so she could see the exact moment Natalie Buchanan caught on to her meaning. She was an excellent defensive attorney and very good at reading people.

Natalie wondered why Jessica’s heart would matter in all of this. She finally remembered the incident with her Uncle Todd when he tried to steal her heart to give it to Jessica. If Cristian hadn’t saved her, she would be dead, and Jessica would have her heart. Her Uncle Todd has never made it a secret which niece he favored more. And, if he did have a thing for Evangeline, she knew her Uncle wouldn’t have a problem choosing Evangeline over her. Todd was notorious for doing stupid things in the name of love. Well, at least his ideal of love anyway.

“I know Cristian saved you then, but I wouldn’t count on that happening again. He has a tiger he likes playing with a lot.”

“You bitch!” Natalie spate as she recalled Cristian greeting Evangeline as “Tiger” earlier.

“See!” Evangeline pointed her left finger in Natalie’s face. “I knew you weren’t clueless and would understand my full meaning.”

“Okay. I’m ready Babe.” Cristian ran over to Evangeline and wrapped his arm around her waist. “What are you two talking about?”

“Babe, I was just telling Natalie that you have the cutest little nickname for me.” Evangeline kissed her boyfriend on the lips. She couldn’t believe she did something that was a typical Todd move. She frowned inside but smiled at Natalie as she wondered how much of Todd Manning was rubbing off on her. “I’m your tiger, right?”

“Whatever!” Natalie stormed off.

“What was that all about?” Cristian asked concerned.

“I guess she doesn’t like tigers.” Evangeline shrugged and looked innocently at her boyfriend who still looked concerned. After Cristian stared at her for a couple of minutes, she decided to tell him about her conversation. “I told Natalie to stay away from you and deal with her on problems with John without running to you.”

“Evangeline, that was out of line. Natalie is a friend. Beside, you don’t know what her visit was about.” Cristian tried to guide her towards the exit.

“So, you are justifying her running to you with her problems?” Evangeline pulled away from him and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m not going to tolerate Natalie coming to another one of my boyfriends with her problems. Doesn’t she have a boyfriend of her own? You of all people should understand, Cristian.”

“It’s not about justifying her actions. And, I’m not like John McBain. I’m not confused about how I feel about you.” He turned and looked a little annoyed. “Besides, it’s not what you think. I’m just saying you were wrong for jumping to conclusion.”

Evangeline chewed on her bottom lip as she calmed herself and decided to take a different approach with him. “Okay, it’s not what I think. Tell me Cristian. Why was Natalie Vega Buchanan visiting you?”

The sarcasm in her tone was not lost on him.

“Don’t get lawyerly like on me.” He stated defensively and matching her sarcasm. “Natalie stopped by to tell me she was leaving Llanview. She was saying bye…not trying to run to me with her problems with John. ”

Cristian studied her for a minute then glanced back at the locker room door.

“I’m going to grab a shower here.”

Evangeline raised an eyebrow as she realized he didn’t want to be in her company any more.

“I’ll call you later.” His expression and tone was emotionless.

“I have a meeting with Todd later.” Evangeline said flatly as she realized his little attitude towards her. He wanted to be pissed. She’ll give him a reason to be pissed. She knew she didn’t have to add anything more, but she wanted to add insult to injury. “He has to go out of town tomorrow, so we have to do it tonight.”

Evangeline noticed her boyfriend body tensed, his veins popped out of his neck, and his hands started to ball into a fist. She knew he wasn’t going to hit her, but he was trying to control himself from exploding.

“It’s gonna take all night, so take your time in the shower.” Evangeline turned to leave. She was upset with Cris’s reaction, but her mind started spinning as she wondered why Natalie was leaving Llanview. And, was John happy or sad about her departure? Sad of course, she recalled him drowning his sorrow. She had to go find John. She wasn’t sure why she had to go find John, but she had to.

“Evangeline, wait!” Cristian called out to her, but she didn’t stop.

When she walked through the exit, she heard him hit the speed bag with one powerful punch. She knew he would work out his anger on the heavy bag before getting into the shower. She’ll call him tomorrow and apologize. Tonight, she was so angry with him for not understanding. She stopped when she realized she hadn’t told him about the baby. Well, that can wait too. Right, now, she felt an overwhelming need to find John McBain.

Evangeline went to the police station first to find John. When she didn’t find him there, she decided to try his room. She walked into Angel Square Hotel and wasn’t surprised that no one was at the desk. Roxy wasn’t the best at just waiting for someone to walk in to get a room. She decided to go straight up to John’s room. When she got there, she knocked on the door twice and was taken aback when it opened.

“John! John!” She called out as she slowly walked in. “John!”

Evangeline noticed several empty boxes and wondered if John was moving with Natalie. She gasped realizing it could be a possibility. Why she didn’t think about John moving with Natalie was a mystery? Of course, John would be leaving too. Natalie said they were in love and things were perfect between them.

She recalled the stare John gave her when she saw him at Rodi’s. Maybe, he was saying goodbye and nothing more. Then, she thought about the song and the words. Goodbye my lover.

“Ohmigod.” Evangeline whispered as she fought back the tears. John was leaving Llanview too. She glanced around the room and noticed his stuff was pulled out of drawers and down from the bookshelves. She glanced over at the bed and noticed he had items scattered on top of it. Looking over her shoulder and controlling her emotions, she slowly walked over to his bed. She knew she was wrong for invading his personal space, but this was going to be her goodbye to him she decided.

She was drawn to his bed and she felt a little weird about it. There were so many good memories here. But, she told herself again when she left John’s place her memories and feeling for him will remain here as well. A little voice inside her laughed because she couldn’t do that when they broke up, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it now.

When she got to the bed, she raised her brow after noticing a white piece of string. Then, she recognized the Eagles game ticket stubs. She looked over the remaining items and realized they were memorabilia of her relationship with John. Why did John keep all these memories of their relationship? And, why would he be crazy enough to have them out in the open for Natalie to see them? She glanced at the entry door again to make sure no one has come in. She smiled when she saw the pictures she took with the digital camera the night of his birthday. She bit her bottom lip as she reached for one, and recalled the moment of the night. John was so happy. She was so happy. When she tossed the picture back on the bed, she noticed the writing on it when it flipped over to reveal the backside. She picked the picture up again and read John’s note. She gasped and covered her chest with her right hand.

Evangeline was overwhelmed by the memories. Why would John keep all these things from their relationship? Why would he hold on to them when he loved Natalie? If Natalie found them, she would think the worst. She would think he was still in love with….

Evangeline turned and headed for the door as she chastised herself and blocked out her thoughts. This was wrong. She shouldn’t be invading John and Natalie’s private space. She shouldn’t have come here. She rushed to the door and dropped her tote bag after she passed the couch. Bending down to retrieve it, she noticed a book on the floor in front of the slot machine behind the door. She stood and glimpsed out the door where she was. She slowly walked over to the book and saw the word Journal in bold print.

She initially thought it was Natalie’s and picked it up. Maybe, she wrote something in it to explain why she was leaving town. She walked over and sat down on the couch.

Evangeline knew she was wrong for reading Natalie’s personal thoughts, but she will deal with the guilt later. She needed answers. She wanted answer. When she opened the journal, she gasped when she realized it wasn’t Natalie’s journal but John’s. She knew she should have closed it then, but she felt she had a right more now than before. She spent a year of her life trying to get into John McBain’s head.

June 16, 2006

Well, I’m having another sleepless night. I wonder what Evangeline is doing right now. She’s probably in bed with Vega. I hate that he’s with her. I hate that I’m not with her where I belong. I should have just told her how much I loved her then maybe our lives wouldn’t be so messed up. She’s with Vega, and I’m with Natalie. Natalie is so much in love with me, and I feel like I owe her so much. The one thing I can’t give her though is my heart because Evangeline will always have it. I did try to tell Evangeline once that I was falling in love with her, but she fell asleep.

“When?” Evangeline wondered aloud as she continued reading.

I was so disappointed when I heard her soft snoring.

“I don’t snore.” She corrected disgusted by his accusation then continued.

Evangeline is like no other woman I have met. She’s even different from Caitlin, and I thought the world of my belated fiancée. I know I planned to marry Caitlin, but I never thought about having children with her. She loved kids too, but I was scared that I wouldn’t be a good father or the job will take me away from them. With Evangeline, none of my fears seemed to matter when it came to my future and life with her. I only want to be the man she deserves.

“John, why couldn’t you see yourself like I saw you?” She wondered aloud as she turned the pages closer to the front of the book. She wasn’t looking for any specific date. She finally stopped on March 23, 2005.

I’m such an idiot. I almost blew things with Evangeline again tonight. I was supposed to meet her old college professor tonight and because of Roxy and Natalie’s stupid games, I let her down again. She said this man was like a second father to her. Why did Roxy have to pull this stupid stunt today? I want to show Evangeline how committed I am to our relationship and future. But, it seems like I forever let her down. Tonight, when I called her home and Michael told me he stole my girl, I didn’t care if he was my little brother. I wanted to kill him. But, then I realized if I was there for her like I should have been no man could take her away from me. It’s crazy for me to admit this, but for a second while I was sitting on the couch with her, I wish she had told me she was pregnant and not sick from a stomach bug. I want to tell her how much I love her, but I can’t get the words out. I can’t see my life without her.

She started smiling then turned the pages until she saw March 4, 2005.

I found the courage tonight to tell Evangeline what I love so much about her. I believe I’m falling more in love with her than I was with Caitlin. I don’t feel guilty about that omission because Evangeline embraces the part of my life, which included Caitlin. She asks about Caitlin in a way that’s sincere. No other female has ever done so. I know it’s crazy, but I often wonder if Caitlin didn’t send her to me. I know it’s foolish, but Evangeline has done what no other female has been able to do since Caitlin. She makes me think. She makes me feel. I will never forget how special Caitlin was to me, but Evangeline is like nothing or no one I have ever met or seen. I truly know what it feels like to have a soul mate with her. If I lose her because of Vega and Natalie, I couldn’t live with myself. I wish I could tell her how I need her to breathe. She’s part of me. I almost told her about Vega tonight, but I was afraid it would lower her expectation of me. I was also worried that she would think I was doing it because I wanted to be with Natalie. I’m a coward and Evangeline deserves so much more than me. So much more.

She turned to the next entry. March 7, 2006

I came home tonight and Evangeline was already asleep in my bed. I decided to write in you before I joined her. I saw Natalie earlier, and she told me she would be working at the station doing Marcie’s old job. I hope she didn’t take the position to be closer to me. I don’t know how many ways to tell and show her my future is with Evangeline, maybe, if she sees Evangeline and me together more she’s finally understand. I love coming home to Evangeline in my bed. I love smelling her scent of flowers in springtime. I love feeling her. I don’t have trouble sleeping when she’s here. She completes me. It’s like all the demons I have inside disappears when she’s around. I’m afraid sometimes how much I feel for her. It’s so overwhelming for me. I don’t understand how she can question my love and devotion to her. I know now God, as long as I live, Evangeline will be the woman I want to be with yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

“John’s birthday.” Evangeline whispered as she searched for the date. “March fourteen.”




March 14, 2005

Tonight, when I looked across at Evangeline I realized I have fallen in love with her. There is no doubt in my mind anymore. If I ever tell another woman I love her, it will be Evangeline Ella Williamson. Today has been so overwhelming. She gave me the best birthday gift written on a cocktail napkin. You would think with all the money she has I could have gotten something costly. No, what Evangeline gave me is priceless. She wrote she loves me. I was going to say it back, but she threw her hand up before I could. I wonder if she’s afraid to really hear me say the words. She says she wants to hear them, but I wonder. God, I am not worthy of this woman. It’s funny to me I have been saying the words to her all along but not saying the actual words. She doesn’t know, but every time I tell her she’s beautiful in my mind I’m saying I love you. She will probably see the humor in that if I ever get up the courage to let her know. When we got back to my place, she saw the birthday gift my mom sent me. I was able to open up to her and share my memory with her. I could tell it meant a lot to her. I want to tell her so much, but it seems like when I open up the window something inside makes me close it. I wonder if she saw all my demons if she will still love me. If she knew I was the reason my father is dead, could she still love me. Then, maybe, I feel if I don’t open up completely to her she will be around longer. I know one day she’s going to wise up and leave me. She’s too good for me. She wants me to teach her boxing tomorrow. I can’t wait. I gave her some kidney punches tonight, and she took those like a champ. I pray one day she will know all that I feel inside. I know she deserves to know me, and I want to tell her. I just don’t want her to be disappointed or disgusted by the truth. I don’t know how to be her hero. I don’t know how to get her to feel all that I feel. She’s my life.

Evangeline wiped her nose and sniffled as she turned the page trying to remember the day John rescued her and Natalie from the love center. After reading his other entries, she started to wonder if John was truly going to rescue her first. If he was, she understood clearer now why he tortured himself and pushed so hard to find Natalie. Again, his guilt drove him away from his happiness.

She jumped when she heard voices in the hallway. She stood and placed the journal on the coffee table. She waited a minute for John and Natalie to walk through the door, but they never did.

“Get your butt out of here Evangeline Williamson.” She ordered herself. She started for the door and stopped on the threshold. She looked back at the journal. “I can’t take John’s journal.” She rebuked herself out loud. She didn’t want to find out John’s true feelings for her this way.

She sighed and looked towards the heavens. Sometimes, she wished she could do things like Natalie, but that wasn’t her approach. She knew Natalie Buchanan wouldn’t have a problem taken the journal and reading it. “No.” She said aloud and turned from the journal. If it is meant for me to know how John felt…or feels then he will have to tell her on his own. She heard Marcie’s voice coming up the stairs and stepped out of his room. She closed the door and positioned her hand as though she was about to knocked.

“Hey Evangeline.” Marcie greeted as Evangeline started to knock. “John’s not home.”

“Oh, he’s not.” Evangeline turned, ran her fingers through her hair, and faced John’s sister-in-law praying she didn’t look flustered. “I guess I will try the station.” She started to leave and jumped when the perky newlywed offered.

“I don’t think he’s there either.” Marcie informed holding true to her character. The short red head was known for telling people’s business. “He’s probably moving some things over to his new place. You know he’s moving out of here.”

“Yes, I’ve heard he’s moving to Atlantic City.” Evangeline supplied wondering if Michael’s wife would give her any more information.

“Atlantic City? John isn’t moving to AC unless something different has happened since I talked to Michael.” Marcie looked at John’s door, wondered if she was wrong, and then repeated her conversation with her husband verbatim.

Evangeline stood with her hand on her head wondering how to escape without being rude, but she couldn’t think of a single way. She was still nervous about being caught in John’s room that she allowed his brother’s wife to ramble on. As she listened, she wondered if Marcie ever considered being a court reporter or any kind of reporter. But, on another note, the only reason Marcie probably hung on Michael’s every word was she is so in love with him.

“Marcie.” Evangeline interrupted knowing that was the only way her torture was going to end. “I’m so sorry, but Cristian is waiting for me.”

Marcie smiled as she looked at the attractive defense attorney. “You and Cristian got a hot date?”

“Yes.” Evangeline giggled as she lied and realized that Marcie and Michael were both hopeless romantics. “I’m really late, so I should get going.”

“Yeah. We can talk any time. Go love your man.” Marcie beamed. “Cristian is a great guy.”

“Thanks, Marcie.” Evangeline walked off shaking her head and forgetting about the journal. Marcie Welsh McBain was something else, but Evangeline was sure the newly married lady had a friend everywhere she went.

Evangeline walked in Rourke’s on her cell phone. She stopped in her tracks when she spotted Natalie and Cristian embraced. Ending her phone call, she rolled her eyes and sighed as she wondered how thick the red head skull was. Chewing the inside of her left cheek, she examined how Cristian held his ex-wife, and she determined her boyfriend was just offering friendship. She was too familiar with how the other woman worked. Natalie would unquestionably read more into Cristian comfort than what is there. When she felt the urge to walk over and slap the red head, she silently prayed for God’s help. Then, again, they were in the right place for it. She was getting furious by the minute. Did Natalie not hear a single word she said earlier?

Suddenly Evangeline realized the reason she rationalized earlier for putting Natalie in her place was void. When she was cruel to Natalie earlier, she thought she was pregnant, but now, she knows she’s not. She glanced around and realized no one noticed she had come in. She slowly stepped back out. Before she could leave, she heard Cristian calling her name. She stopped and smiled at him.

“Hey Cristian.” Evangeline embraced the sweaty boxer as he hugged her then kissed her on the cheek.

“I wasn’t expecting you, Tiger.” Cristian greeted her cheerfully. “But, it’s a wonderful surprise.”

“I needed to talk to you.” Evangeline informed as she glared at Natalie. She knew the other woman knew exactly what she was thinking when she wouldn’t meet her glaze.

“Well, Cris, I have to get out of here.” Natalie smugly looked at her nemesis. “I will see you around.”

“Okay.” Cristian said nonchalantly as he started gathering up his things. “Evangeline give me a minute then I’m all yours.”

“Take your time.” Evangeline said stopping Natalie in her tracks by stepping in front of her. “I need to remind Natalie of that.”

Cristian stopped and frowned. “Huh?”

“Nothing Babe.” Evangeline smiled as she waved at him then crossed her arm in front of her chest. “Natalie will keep me occupied until you are ready.”

“Evangeline, what is your problem?” Natalie snapped and rolled her eyes.

“You are my problem Natalie. Apparently, I didn’t make myself clear earlier.”

“I think you did. You’re insecure about your relationship with Cristian. The same way you were insecure with your relationship with John.” Natalie smiled smugly. “Did I nail it on the dot?”

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” Evangeline glanced over Natalie’s head at Cristian then placed her hands on her hips. She stepped closer to her rival and spoke so she was the only one who could hear her. “I’m not going to let you insinuate yourself into this relationship like you did my last. One quality I liked about John was he is a good listener. And, since you have told me several times how much he is in love with you, let him listen to your damn problems.”

“Cristian is my friend, Evangeline. If you can’t handle that, it’s your problem not mine.” Natalie followed Evangeline’s glaze to the boxing ring then the young Buchanan laughed.

“Just like John was your friend?” Evangeline said sarcastically and leaned even closer, so she could whisper in Natalie’s ears. “I meant what I said. Stay away from Cristian.”

“And, if I don’t?” Natalie challenged not liking to be told what to do especially from Evangeline Williamson. She frowned when the beautiful defense attorney smiled then answered.

“You know Natalie. I should understand your friendship with my boyfriend because I have a similar friendship with your Uncle Todd. I mean Blair is so insecure about it. She thinks Todd will do anything for me.” Evangeline smiled knowingly. “How ridiculous is that?”

Natalie looked at her ex husband’s girlfriend confused.

“But, Todd is so funny. The things he has done in his past. I mean Nora and Blair has been burning my ears about the things he will do for the people he loves.” Evangeline enjoyed the confound expression on the other woman’s face. “How is Jessica’s heart?”

Natalie frowned then asked “Evangeline, what does Jessica’s heart have to do with anything?”

Evangeline glared at the red head, so she could see the exact moment Natalie Buchanan caught on to her meaning. She was an excellent defensive attorney and very good at reading people.

Natalie wondered why Jessica’s heart would matter in all of this. She finally remembered the incident with her Uncle Todd when he tried to steal her heart to give it to Jessica. If Cristian hadn’t saved her, she would be dead, and Jessica would have her heart. Her Uncle Todd has never made it a secret which niece he favored more. And, if he did have a thing for Evangeline, she knew her Uncle wouldn’t have a problem choosing Evangeline over her. Todd was notorious for doing stupid things in the name of love. Well, at least his ideal of love anyway.

“I know Cristian saved you then, but I wouldn’t count on that happening again. He has a tiger he likes playing with a lot.”

“You bitch!” Natalie spate as she recalled Cristian greeting Evangeline as “Tiger” earlier.

“See!” Evangeline pointed her left finger in Natalie’s face. “I knew you weren’t clueless and would understand my full meaning.”

“Okay. I’m ready Babe.” Cristian ran over to Evangeline and wrapped his arm around her waist. “What are you two talking about?”

“Babe, I was just telling Natalie that you have the cutest little nickname for me.” Evangeline kissed her boyfriend on the lips. She couldn’t believe she did something that was a typical Todd move. She frowned inside but smiled at Natalie as she wondered how much of Todd Manning was rubbing off on her. “I’m your tiger, right?”

“Whatever!” Natalie stormed off.

“What was that all about?” Cristian asked concerned.

“I guess she doesn’t like tigers.” Evangeline shrugged and looked innocently at her boyfriend who still looked concerned. After Cristian stared at her for a couple of minutes, she decided to tell him about her conversation. “I told Natalie to stay away from you and deal with her on problems with John without running to you.”

“Evangeline, that was out of line. Natalie is a friend. Beside, you don’t know what her visit was about.” Cristian tried to guide her towards the exit.

“So, you are justifying her running to you with her problems?” Evangeline pulled away from him and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m not going to tolerate Natalie coming to another one of my boyfriends with her problems. Doesn’t she have a boyfriend of her own? You of all people should understand, Cristian.”

“It’s not about justifying her actions. And, I’m not like John McBain. I’m not confused about how I feel about you.” He turned and looked a little annoyed. “Besides, it’s not what you think. I’m just saying you were wrong for jumping to conclusion.”

Evangeline chewed on her bottom lip as she calmed herself and decided to take a different approach with him. “Okay, it’s not what I think. Tell me Cristian. Why was Natalie Vega Buchanan visiting you?”

The sarcasm in her tone was not lost on him.

“Don’t get lawyerly like on me.” He stated defensively and matching her sarcasm. “Natalie stopped by to tell me she was leaving Llanview. She was saying bye…not trying to run to me with her problems with John. ”

Cristian studied her for a minute then glanced back at the locker room door.

“I’m going to grab a shower here.”

Evangeline raised an eyebrow as she realized he didn’t want to be in her company any more.

“I’ll call you later.” His expression and tone was emotionless.

“I have a meeting with Todd later.” Evangeline said flatly as she realized his little attitude towards her. He wanted to be pissed. She’ll give him a reason to be pissed. She knew she didn’t have to add anything more, but she wanted to add insult to injury. “He has to go out of town tomorrow, so we have to do it tonight.”

Evangeline noticed her boyfriend body tensed, his veins popped out of his neck, and his hands started to ball into a fist. She knew he wasn’t going to hit her, but he was trying to control himself from exploding.

“It’s gonna take all night, so take your time in the shower.” Evangeline turned to leave. She was upset with Cris’s reaction, but her mind started spinning as she wondered why Natalie was leaving Llanview. And, was John happy or sad about her departure? Sad of course, she recalled him drowning his sorrow. She had to go find John. She wasn’t sure why she had to go find John, but she had to.

“Evangeline, wait!” Cristian called out to her, but she didn’t stop.

When she walked through the exit, she heard him hit the speed bag with one powerful punch. She knew he would work out his anger on the heavy bag before getting into the shower. She’ll call him tomorrow and apologize. Tonight, she was so angry with him for not understanding. She stopped when she realized she hadn’t told him about the baby. Well, that can wait too. Right, now, she felt an overwhelming need to find John McBain.

Evangeline went to the police station first to find John. When she didn’t find him there, she decided to try his room. She walked into Angel Square Hotel and wasn’t surprised that no one was at the desk. Roxy wasn’t the best at just waiting for someone to walk in to get a room. She decided to go straight up to John’s room. When she got there, she knocked on the door twice and was taken aback when it opened.

“John! John!” She called out as she slowly walked in. “John!”

Evangeline noticed several empty boxes and wondered if John was moving with Natalie. She gasped realizing it could be a possibility. Why she didn’t think about John moving with Natalie was a mystery? Of course, John would be leaving too. Natalie said they were in love and things were perfect between them.

She recalled the stare John gave her when she saw him at Rodi’s. Maybe, he was saying goodbye and nothing more. Then, she thought about the song and the words. Goodbye my lover.

“Ohmigod.” Evangeline whispered as she fought back the tears. John was leaving Llanview too. She glanced around the room and noticed his stuff was pulled out of drawers and down from the bookshelves. She glanced over at the bed and noticed he had items scattered on top of it. Looking over her shoulder and controlling her emotions, she slowly walked over to his bed. She knew she was wrong for invading his personal space, but this was going to be her goodbye to him she decided.

She was drawn to his bed and she felt a little weird about it. There were so many good memories here. But, she told herself again when she left John’s place her memories and feeling for him will remain here as well. A little voice inside her laughed because she couldn’t do that when they broke up, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it now.

When she got to the bed, she raised her brow after noticing a white piece of string. Then, she recognized the Eagles game ticket stubs. She looked over the remaining items and realized they were memorabilia of her relationship with John. Why did John keep all these memories of their relationship? And, why would he be crazy enough to have them out in the open for Natalie to see them? She glanced at the entry door again to make sure no one has come in. She smiled when she saw the pictures she took with the digital camera the night of his birthday. She bit her bottom lip as she reached for one, and recalled the moment of the night. John was so happy. She was so happy. When she tossed the picture back on the bed, she noticed the writing on it when it flipped over to reveal the backside. She picked the picture up again and read John’s note. She gasped and covered her chest with her right hand.

Evangeline was overwhelmed by the memories. Why would John keep all these things from their relationship? Why would he hold on to them when he loved Natalie? If Natalie found them, she would think the worst. She would think he was still in love with….

Evangeline turned and headed for the door as she chastised herself and blocked out her thoughts. This was wrong. She shouldn’t be invading John and Natalie’s private space. She shouldn’t have come here. She rushed to the door and dropped her tote bag after she passed the couch. Bending down to retrieve it, she noticed a book on the floor in front of the slot machine behind the door. She stood and glimpsed out the door where she was. She slowly walked over to the book and saw the word Journal in bold print.

She initially thought it was Natalie’s and picked it up. Maybe, she wrote something in it to explain why she was leaving town. She walked over and sat down on the couch.

Evangeline knew she was wrong for reading Natalie’s personal thoughts, but she will deal with the guilt later. She needed answers. She wanted answer. When she opened the journal, she gasped when she realized it wasn’t Natalie’s journal but John’s. She knew she should have closed it then, but she felt she had a right more now than before. She spent a year of her life trying to get into John McBain’s head.

June 16, 2006

Well, I’m having another sleepless night. I wonder what Evangeline is doing right now. She’s probably in bed with Vega. I hate that he’s with her. I hate that I’m not with her where I belong. I should have just told her how much I loved her then maybe our lives wouldn’t be so messed up. She’s with Vega, and I’m with Natalie. Natalie is so much in love with me, and I feel like I owe her so much. The one thing I can’t give her though is my heart because Evangeline will always have it. I did try to tell Evangeline once that I was falling in love with her, but she fell asleep.

“When?” Evangeline wondered aloud as she continued reading.

I was so disappointed when I heard her soft snoring.

“I don’t snore.” She corrected disgusted by his accusation then continued.

Evangeline is like no other woman I have met. She’s even different from Caitlin, and I thought the world of my belated fiancée. I know I planned to marry Caitlin, but I never thought about having children with her. She loved kids too, but I was scared that I wouldn’t be a good father or the job will take me away from them. With Evangeline, none of my fears seemed to matter when it came to my future and life with her. I only want to be the man she deserves.

“John, why couldn’t you see yourself like I saw you?” She wondered aloud as she turned the pages closer to the front of the book. She wasn’t looking for any specific date. She finally stopped on March 23, 2005.

I’m such an idiot. I almost blew things with Evangeline again tonight. I was supposed to meet her old college professor tonight and because of Roxy and Natalie’s stupid games, I let her down again. She said this man was like a second father to her. Why did Roxy have to pull this stupid stunt today? I want to show Evangeline how committed I am to our relationship and future. But, it seems like I forever let her down. Tonight, when I called her home and Michael told me he stole my girl, I didn’t care if he was my little brother. I wanted to kill him. But, then I realized if I was there for her like I should have been no man could take her away from me. It’s crazy for me to admit this, but for a second while I was sitting on the couch with her, I wish she had told me she was pregnant and not sick from a stomach bug. I want to tell her how much I love her, but I can’t get the words out. I can’t see my life without her.

She started smiling then turned the pages until she saw March 4, 2005.

I found the courage tonight to tell Evangeline what I love so much about her. I believe I’m falling more in love with her than I was with Caitlin. I don’t feel guilty about that omission because Evangeline embraces the part of my life, which included Caitlin. She asks about Caitlin in a way that’s sincere. No other female has ever done so. I know it’s crazy, but I often wonder if Caitlin didn’t send her to me. I know it’s foolish, but Evangeline has done what no other female has been able to do since Caitlin. She makes me think. She makes me feel. I will never forget how special Caitlin was to me, but Evangeline is like nothing or no one I have ever met or seen. I truly know what it feels like to have a soul mate with her. If I lose her because of Vega and Natalie, I couldn’t live with myself. I wish I could tell her how I need her to breathe. She’s part of me. I almost told her about Vega tonight, but I was afraid it would lower her expectation of me. I was also worried that she would think I was doing it because I wanted to be with Natalie. I’m a coward and Evangeline deserves so much more than me. So much more.

She turned to the next entry. March 7, 2006

I came home tonight and Evangeline was already asleep in my bed. I decided to write in you before I joined her. I saw Natalie earlier, and she told me she would be working at the station doing Marcie’s old job. I hope she didn’t take the position to be closer to me. I don’t know how many ways to tell and show her my future is with Evangeline, maybe, if she sees Evangeline and me together more she’s finally understand. I love coming home to Evangeline in my bed. I love smelling her scent of flowers in springtime. I love feeling her. I don’t have trouble sleeping when she’s here. She completes me. It’s like all the demons I have inside disappears when she’s around. I’m afraid sometimes how much I feel for her. It’s so overwhelming for me. I don’t understand how she can question my love and devotion to her. I know now God, as long as I live, Evangeline will be the woman I want to be with yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

“John’s birthday.” Evangeline whispered as she searched for the date. “March fourteen.”




March 14, 2005

Tonight, when I looked across at Evangeline I realized I have fallen in love with her. There is no doubt in my mind anymore. If I ever tell another woman I love her, it will be Evangeline Ella Williamson. Today has been so overwhelming. She gave me the best birthday gift written on a cocktail napkin. You would think with all the money she has I could have gotten something costly. No, what Evangeline gave me is priceless. She wrote she loves me. I was going to say it back, but she threw her hand up before I could. I wonder if she’s afraid to really hear me say the words. She says she wants to hear them, but I wonder. God, I am not worthy of this woman. It’s funny to me I have been saying the words to her all along but not saying the actual words. She doesn’t know, but every time I tell her she’s beautiful in my mind I’m saying I love you. She will probably see the humor in that if I ever get up the courage to let her know. When we got back to my place, she saw the birthday gift my mom sent me. I was able to open up to her and share my memory with her. I could tell it meant a lot to her. I want to tell her so much, but it seems like when I open up the window something inside makes me close it. I wonder if she saw all my demons if she will still love me. If she knew I was the reason my father is dead, could she still love me. Then, maybe, I feel if I don’t open up completely to her she will be around longer. I know one day she’s going to wise up and leave me. She’s too good for me. She wants me to teach her boxing tomorrow. I can’t wait. I gave her some kidney punches tonight, and she took those like a champ. I pray one day she will know all that I feel inside. I know she deserves to know me, and I want to tell her. I just don’t want her to be disappointed or disgusted by the truth. I don’t know how to be her hero. I don’t know how to get her to feel all that I feel. She’s my life.

Evangeline wiped her nose and sniffled as she turned the page trying to remember the day John rescued her and Natalie from the love center. After reading his other entries, she started to wonder if John was truly going to rescue her first. If he was, she understood clearer now why he tortured himself and pushed so hard to find Natalie. Again, his guilt drove him away from his happiness.

She jumped when she heard voices in the hallway. She stood and placed the journal on the coffee table. She waited a minute for John and Natalie to walk through the door, but they never did.

“Get your butt out of here Evangeline Williamson.” She ordered herself. She started for the door and stopped on the threshold. She looked back at the journal. “I can’t take John’s journal.” She rebuked herself out loud. She didn’t want to find out John’s true feelings for her this way.

She sighed and looked towards the heavens. Sometimes, she wished she could do things like Natalie, but that wasn’t her approach. She knew Natalie Buchanan wouldn’t have a problem taken the journal and reading it. “No.” She said aloud and turned from the journal. If it is meant for me to know how John felt…or feels then he will have to tell her on his own. She heard Marcie’s voice coming up the stairs and stepped out of his room. She closed the door and positioned her hand as though she was about to knocked.

“Hey Evangeline.” Marcie greeted as Evangeline started to knock. “John’s not home.”

“Oh, he’s not.” Evangeline turned, ran her fingers through her hair, and faced John’s sister-in-law praying she didn’t look flustered. “I guess I will try the station.” She started to leave and jumped when the perky newlywed offered.

“I don’t think he’s there either.” Marcie informed holding true to her character. The short red head was known for telling people’s business. “He’s probably moving some things over to his new place. You know he’s moving out of here.”

“Yes, I’ve heard he’s moving to Atlantic City.” Evangeline supplied wondering if Michael’s wife would give her any more information.

“Atlantic City? John isn’t moving to AC unless something different has happened since I talked to Michael.” Marcie looked at John’s door, wondered if she was wrong, and then repeated her conversation with her husband verbatim.

Evangeline stood with her hand on her head wondering how to escape without being rude, but she couldn’t think of a single way. She was still nervous about being caught in John’s room that she allowed his brother’s wife to ramble on. As she listened, she wondered if Marcie ever considered being a court reporter or any kind of reporter. But, on another note, the only reason Marcie probably hung on Michael’s every word was she is so in love with him.

“Marcie.” Evangeline interrupted knowing that was the only way her torture was going to end. “I’m so sorry, but Cristian is waiting for me.”

Marcie smiled as she looked at the attractive defense attorney. “You and Cristian got a hot date?”

“Yes.” Evangeline giggled as she lied and realized that Marcie and Michael were both hopeless romantics. “I’m really late, so I should get going.”

“Yeah. We can talk any time. Go love your man.” Marcie beamed. “Cristian is a great guy.”

“Thanks, Marcie.” Evangeline walked off shaking her head and forgetting about the journal. Marcie Welsh McBain was something else, but Evangeline was sure the newly married lady had a friend everywhere she went.

The next morning Evangeline was at the gym stretching her left leg on the wooden ballet barre when John walked in. He stopped at the door noticing her right away. He glanced around the gym only to see three other occupants. One guy was doing dumbbell chest press on the bench behind her. A female was running on the treadmill, and another guy was working out on the heavy bag in the far corner. He guessed he would have to wait his turn to punch the hell out of heavy bag today.

He focused back on Evangeline as he was reminded of his situation and what had him frustrated. He tossed and turned all night thinking about Evangeline and Vega living happily ever after with a kid. His eyes studied her body as she stretched her right leg. Then, he remembered thinking about them living happily ever after wasn’t the only thing that had him tossing either. He also dreamed about making love to her.

John closed his eyes and thought back to a time when Cristian Vega was in prison. John had gone to see Vega to ask for permission to be with Natalie, and Cristian refused. Vega made a statement about him wanting his life, and he remembered telling the man he didn’t want his life. Well, now, he would trade places with Vega in a second. He was crazy to think he ever cared enough for Natalie to make it work between them. While he was working on pleasing Natalie and giving her what she wanted, Cristian Vega took the only thing he ever wanted. He wondered if Vega did it out of spite or if he truly loved Evangeline. Then, John remembered a statement he made to Blair about everyone falling for Evangeline. There was no doubt in his mind that Vega did love the beautiful attorney. The question now was did she truly love Vega.

John sighed then started to leave when he heard his name being called in Evangeline’s honey sounding voice.

“McBain, I haven’t seen you in the gym in ages.” Evangeline greeted him with her signature smile showing all her pearly whites. “Then again, you were probably coming at a different time than me.”

“No.” He scanned her body and decided he liked the t-back tank top and compression shorts she was wearing. He could tell she has been devoted to coming to the gym, but he couldn’t tell if she was pregnant or not. Her whole body revealed more muscular definition. It took every power in him not to reach out and touch her, so he could see if she was still soft. She has always had definition, but this level made her look more slender than the frame he was use to. He started to wonder if it changed her in bed.

“Is everything okay, McBain?” Evangeline frowned slightly when she noticed how uncomfortable he appeared to be. Did he know she read his journal? Of course, not. There was no way he could have known she read it. She shifted in her stance. If he did, he would be angry with her. He wouldn’t be acting like a teenage boy who just realized he had a hard on and didn’t know what to do. Before she could stop herself, she glanced down at his baggy sweatpants and saw evidence that John was still attracted to her. She looked up at him and their eyes locked. He still had the most amazing clear blue eyes she had ever seen. They connected and she saw the desire in his eyes. It was raw and uninhibited.

“Excuse me.” They heard a feminine voice, and it snapped them both out of their trance.

“Is Natalie here too?” Evangeline asked being the first to regain her composure. She glanced passed him.

“Natalie? At a gym?” He chuckled then shook his head no. “I don’t think Natalie would know what to do in a gym. Besides, I think it would be a little crowded to her with us here.”

“Oh.” Evangeline watched as John looked around the gym. When his glaze stopped in the direction of the far corner, she glanced over her shoulder. “The heavy bag is free now. Are you going to beat the hell out of it?”

John offered one of his goofy shy smiles. He remembered the first boxing lesson he gave her on that exact bag. She asked him to teach her how to box the heavy bag. He informed her you don’t box the heavy bag; you beat the hell out of it. She was pretty good at it too.

“Yeah,” His smile widened as he walked passed her to claim the bag. “You want to join me unless you are meeting Cris.”

“No.” Evangeline recalled her fight with Cristian last night and realized he hadn’t called her since. “Cristian is training for a fight coming up in a few weeks. He’s at Rourke’s.”

“Sweat with me then.” He flirted wondering what her reaction would be.

“Well, McBain, I must warn you. I’m pretty damn good now.” She teased questioning what she was doing.

“OH, so now you are ready to fight with De La Hoya?” He questioned recalling she had doubts before about whether or not she was hitting the bag right. He informed her if she was planning on going a couple of rounds with De La Hoya, she needed some work. But, if she just wanted to pound on the bag, she was fine. One of the things he loved about her was she never gave less than one hundred percent in anything she did. She wasn’t like anyone he had ever met.

“I have trained with Llanview’s Liquidator.” She giggled.

“Yeah. I heard Vega is good.” John offered hating the glow in her eyes when she talked about her lover. He placed his gym bag down and searched inside for his hand wraps. “I haven’t been to one of his fights though.”

“You should come to the one coming up.” She offered. She was sure Cristian wouldn’t mind since he didn’t see John as a threat. “It’s going to be his first title fight.”

“Really.” John said surprised as he started putting on his wraps. “I didn’t know Cris was on that level yet.”

“Vincent Jones, his new manager, set it up.” Evangeline supplied nonchalantly. “He’s from Atlantic City too.”

She studied John as he glanced at her then finished wrapping his hand. She sighed then realized she wasn’t going to get anywhere with McBain unless she came out directly and asked him what she wanted to know. She thought about her approach for a moment then said, “Cris told me Natalie stopped by Rourke’s last night to say goodbye to him.”

“She did.” John replied and started hitting the heavy bag.

She waited for more then smacked her lips when he didn’t say anything else. She watched as he worked the bag. John McBain wasn’t like any other man she had known. Well, she corrected herself as she thought about some thing her mother said once. John did remind her sometimes of her father. Her father didn’t share too much about his feelings with her either. She knew he loved her more than life, but it would have been wonderful to hear it. She sighed inside then thought about what she read in John’s journal.

If John was being truthful and there was no reason for him not to have been, he really did love her. Maybe, the pain of his father and Caitlin’s death did force him to shut down that part of him. His actions beside from being Natalie’s hero told her he was more than in love with her. But, Evangeline knew he had buried feelings for Natalie. The feelings he had for her were probably stronger than the ones he had for Natalie, but he still had some for Natalie and she couldn’t accept that. She would never be second or accept less than one hundred percent. But, something happened between John and Natalie and for some strange reason; she felt she had something to do with it. She couldn’t shake her gut feeling.

“Let me hold the bag for you.”

“No!” He snapped in a protective tone. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Don’t worry so much McBain.” She comforted after getting over the shock. She thought she noticed him glancing at her stomach, but she knew he couldn’t have known anything about her pregnancy scare. “I can handle whatever you got. I hold the bag for Cris all the time. I’m a big girl.”

John glanced at her midsection again and felt a little foolish. She would be fine holding the bag. “Okay. Stand over there.” He pointed behind the bag.

Evangeline studied him as she held the heavy bag. He started pounding on it. His jabs were forceful, so she knew he was trying to work something out of his system. Every time his fist came in contact with the bag, her body moved some.

“John, believe it or not I have become a great listener over the last few months.” She tried wanting to know what was eating at him.

“Because of Vega, right?” He jabbed a little hard thinking about her lover and forgetting she was behind the bag. “Well, when I need to talk, you will be the first person I call.”

“Come on, John.” She ignored the irritation she heard in her ex’s voice. “You are giving this heavy bag a helluva workout, so something is troubling you. I know you.”

He stopped and sighed as he examined her. She still was a pusher. He smiled and walked over to the weight bench and sat down.

“Are you having a hard time with Natalie’s decision to leave Llanview?” She assumed.

“No.” He said quickly as she joined him on the bench. “If going back to AC will make her happy, I’m happy for her.”

“When I saw you and Michael at Rodi’s, you were drowning your sorrows. You want to talk about it.”

“Counselor, when did you become a therapist?” John shook his head as she offered him a smile. He decided to test the waters. “Evangeline, I think I will take you up on that offer. Where should I start?”

Surprised Evangeline opened then closed her mouth. Never in a million years did she think John McBain would be so readily to talk about his feelings.

“How about why you were drowning your sorrows at Rodi’s the other night?” She wondered if he was torn over Natalie leaving. She felt a strong desire to know. And, if it wasn’t because Natalie is leaving, then what was he down about? Maybe he was celebrating solving his father’s twenty five year old cold case, but neither he nor Michael was acting as though they were celebrating that night. And, if that was the case John would have corrected her when she made the comment about him drowning his sorrows. “I don’t think I have told you. I’m glad you solved your father’s cold case.”

“Thanks.” He stared into her big brown eyes and beautiful face then looked down at the floor.

“I hope you can allow yourself to be happy now.” She touched his arm and regretted it when their flesh connected. “I hope you can have peace.”

John looked back up at her and their eyes locked. Words he said to her on the day she broke up with him echoed in her head. “What we had no one could ever take away.” They still had a bond. Mentally…and definitely physically.

“Evangeline!” Cristian’s voice called her as he headed towards them.

Evangeline jumped and removed her hand from John’s arms as though she was just caught with her hand in the cookie jar. By the time she stood and turned, Cristian was standing in front of her.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you.” She grabbed each side of his waist gently and lovingly. “I thought you would be training at Rourke’s.”

“I was, but I couldn’t concentrate because of how we left things.” Evangeline smiled as Cristian cupped her face with his big hands. “I missed you last night.”

“I missed you too.” She confessed forgetting about John. Over the past few months, she has gotten comfortable with Cristian being there. She allowed herself to get into a routine with him, and she wasn’t ready to give it up…and be alone.

“I love you.” Cristian said as he pulled her face to him for a kiss and glanced over at John to see if the man was paying attention. He noticed McBain was studying the floor, but he was sure the guy was listening.

Cristian wasn’t sure what he walked in on, but he didn’t like how comfortable Evangeline and John looked together.

“I love you too.” Evangeline said after the kiss.

“Hey McBain.” Cristian greeted then frowned when he felt Evangeline move out of his embrace and saw her wipe her lips.

John nodded at Cristian then stood. “I should be going. I have to get to work.”

“Okay…John.” Evangeline said a little uncomfortable. “I hope everything works out for you.”

Cristian noticed John scanned Evangeline’s body, smiled weakly, then walked off.

“What was that about?” Cristian questioned getting jealous and wondered if she told McBain about the baby?”

“It was two friends talking.” Evangeline decided to challenge because of their conversation about Natalie last night. “It’s okay, right? I mean. John is my friend and needed to talk.”

Cristian studied her for a second, and she could see him getting his jealousy under control. “I guess he would be upset about Natalie leaving. I mean she was the love of his life.”

“No, she wasn’t!” Evangeline corrected matter-of-fact before she could stop herself. She chewed on the inside of her left cheek when her lover shot her a questioning look. She decided to offer an exclamation before he asked. “You know McBain. The only person he is in love with is himself.” She smiled and waited till he returned one. Then, she decided she needed to tell him about the baby. “We need to talk.”

Later that night at Ultra Violet

Evangeline, Layla, and a tall, light skinned, beautiful woman walked in to Ultra Violet. Evangeline was the only one not moving to the music between the three. The DJ was playing Will Smith’s Switch.

“So, this is a hot club?” The honey colored woman asked Layla.

“Yeah, Yvonne. My girlfriend’s boyfriend owns it.” Layla answered loving that she didn’t have to yell like most clubs. The music in here was always loud enough for you to have a conversation without yelling at the same time, and you could still feel it while you were dancing. “It’s happening every night.”

“Works for me.” Yvonne handed her purse to Evangeline. “ I don’t see Darius, so I’m headed to the dance floor. I’m only going to be a single woman for two more weeks.”

“See ya, sis.” Layla smiled then handed her purse to her sister and followed Yvonne.

Evangeline frowned a little as she watched the two younger Williamson join the crowd on the dance floor. They were both only on the dance floor alone for a second before a guy got behind each one of them. The older Williamson shook her head realizing it never took those two long to attract men. She looked around for an empty table half way debating whether or not if she was going to join them. She decided against it and went to the first empty table she saw.

Evangeline watched as the music changed to Usher “Yeah” and her sister and Yvonne moved right into the new beat. Those two have always loved to dance. She wondered how long they would be on the dance floor. She glanced around the club to see if maybe Darius, her cousin’s finance had arrived, and they just missed him. She really didn’t feel like sitting at the table all night by herself. She was very impressed how Layla and Yvonne moved like professional dancer. They danced with each other instead of the two guys trying to join them.

When Beyonce’s Crazy Love started playing, Evangeline quickly scanned for her sister and prayed she wasn’t going to try and show she could dance better than the singer. Layla loved that song and loved Beyonce’s creative dance moves. She smiled when she saw Layla and Yvonne doing the original dances to the song at the appropriate time. The only moves they didn’t do were the ones when Beyonce got down on the ground. She could see that both the guys dancing behind them were mesmerized…to bad both girls were taken. She smiled to herself.

Evangeline noticed the moment Yvonne became aware of Darius’s presence. Actually, she observed several women noticed the tall, dark skinned man dressed in a three-piece suit, but he only had eyes for her cousin. Yvonne quickly said something to her dance partner then joined her finance that was already on the dance floor moving to the beat. The connection between the two lovers was very evident as they entwine on the fast song. They kissed and enjoyed each other as though they were the only two on the dance floor.

“A dirty martini for the lady.” A waitress said placing a napkin in front of her then the drink.

“I didn’t order this.” Evangeline said to the waitress as she tried stopping her.

“The guy over there did.” The waitress pointed to the bar.

Evangeline started smiling when she saw John. She mouthed thank you as he walked towards her.

“Is this seat taken?” John pointed to one of the three empty chairs around the table. “The drink is extra dirty.”

“Thank you.” Evangeline waved for him to have a seat then pointed to the dance floor as she said. “But, I think I should stay sober.”

John glanced at the dance floor and saw Layla dancing. He sat in the chair nearest her and scooted closer. “So, you’re not going to drink your martini?”

“What brings you to Ultra Violet?” She asked remembering their first drink conversation at the Palace Bar. He answered her question with a question. She was going to ask him if he remembered, but when she looked at him, he was staring at the martini. “John?”

“I came here with an old friend.” He nodded towards the dance floor to let her know where his friend was. “He’s passing through.”

John was disappointed she didn’t drink the martini. It was a test to see if he could find out if she was pregnant on the down low. She must be pregnant. She loved martinis and wouldn’t turn one down…well, one from him anyway. He chastised himself, but he should have just asked her earlier at the gym.

“So, how about I buy you a beer and get me a soda?” Evangeline offered as he watched the people on the dance floor.

“And, add a Cosmopolitan for Lay, an Emerald Martini for me, and crown and coke for Darius.” Yvonne sat in the chair nearest John while Layla took the last empty one. “Lay and V you remember Darius. And, you are JD as my wonderful finance informed me coming over here. I’m Yvonne Williamson, but I will soon be Tate.”

John smiled politely and took Yvonne’s sweaty hand. He quietly waited for Evangeline or Layla to say something. He glanced at Evangeline and knew Layla would be the one to speak up.

“JD?” Layla questioned looking at Darius and John. Yvonne said Darius had a friend in Llanview, but she didn’t think it would be her sister’s ex. “John McBain is the friend of Darius you were talking about? There is no way I am going to let John McBain be in a wedding with my sister…especially after he hurt her so bad.”

“JD, you started using John again.” Darius smiled then frowned at his old friend uncomfortable expression. He glanced at Layla and Evangeline. “Oh, you must have burnt your bridge with these Williamson beauties.”

“John McBain…John McBain…why does that name sound, so familiar.” Yvonne pondered her mind.

John watched as Yvonne smiled then frowned as recognition shone in her eyes.

“This is John McBain that came to Aunt Rita’s funeral.” Yvonne moved closer to him. “The same John McBain that crushed Van? Lay is right. There is no way in hell he will be in my wedding.”

“Yvonne please!” Evangeline glanced around the room, at John then at her cousin and sister. “It’s history. We’re history. Please don’t cause a scene. I’ve survived. I’m with Cristian.”

“There is no way I’m going to let him be apart of my wedding.” Yvonne stared at Darius. “He hurt you Van and disrespected you.”

“Yvonne!” Evangeline chastised as Layla started drinking the martini John had brought for her sister. “I know I don’t want to get married, but if I’m not mistaken it’s not just your wedding. It’s Darius too. John is Darius’s friend.”

Evangeline wasn’t too surprise when Darius didn’t speak up. You could tell the man loved her cousin more than anything and wouldn’t jeopardize her calling it off. “John and I are friends. We have gotten past the hurt, so I don’t need you holding it against him.”

“What?” Yvonne looked over at her big cousin. “Evangeline, are you telling me you will be cool with having John at the alter with us? He rescued another woman while you were tied up to a pole with a fire around you. And, to add insult to injury he went and had a relationship with her after he broke up with you.”

“After lying to you and saying she was just a friend.” Layla added giving John a fierce look.

“Hey, Darius. I’m going to go.” John stood and stared at Evangeline with an apologetic expression on his face. “I don’t want to ruin your celebration.”

“No, John. You don’t have to leave.” Evangeline looked at her cousin and sister. “John and I have a past. Things didn’t work out for us. We became friends. I don’t need you or Layla crucifying him on my behalf. I have forgiven him and moved on.”

Yvonne and Layla watched as the older Williamson gently grabbed John’s hand and pulled him back down to his seat.

“And, for the record,” Evangeline glared at Layla then Yvonne. She pointed to Layla “When John was with me, he and Natalie were just friends.” then to Yvonne. “I broke up with him. You two need to stay out of my business.”

Yvonne smiled at her cousin then glared at John. Evangeline not only had to get the last word, but she had to set the record straight about the break up.

“Hey, Sugar Bear.” Vincent walked up to Layla and kissed her on the lips. “Have I missed anything?”

When Vincent didn’t get a reply from Layla, he looked at everyone around him.

Layla was the first to break the silent. “Darius, this is my boyfriend, Vincent Jones. Vincent, this is my cousin’s fiancé, Darius Tate.”

“Congratulation man.” Vincent offered extending his hand. “If you’re marrying a Williamson beauty, you hit the jackpot.”

“Thanks.” Darius laughed, accepted his hand, and shook it. After he released it, he pulled out a chair for Yvonne. While his fiancée was sitting he didn’t miss the short and unfriendly greeting between John and Vincent.

Evangeline watched as Darius leaned over and whispered in John’s ear. She heard Darius ask John if he had any friends in Llanview. She felt a little bad for him, and it showed on her face as she looked at him. Her hand involuntary went to his arm to offer comfort. When both he and Darius looked over at her, she cleared her throat and turned her attention to Vincent. Vincent and Layla had already taken their seats. She didn’t miss how everyone’s eyes were on her.

“Vincent, where is Cristian?” She asked looking towards the entry door praying they will stop studying her.

“He tried calling, but he got your voicemail.” Vincent informed her. “Training today and tonight wore him out. He was exhausted and wanted me to let you know he’ll call you in the morning.”

Yvonne studied Evangeline as she reached into her purse and pulled out her razor cell phone. Evangeline flipped it opened, pushed a button, and placed the phone to her ear.

Yvonne glanced at Layla who was still glaring at John then back at Evangeline who looked disappointed.

“Vincent is right.” Evangeline informed then stood. “I should go check on Cris.”

“Vangie please.” Layla said looking at Vincent then her big sister. “Cris is just tired. He’s training for a serious title fight. He’s not sick or anything. He doesn’t need you there.”

Evangeline glanced at Vincent then sat back down.

Yvonne studied both of her cousins and made a mental note to ask them about this. She knew her elder cousin and from her actions now, she knew Van didn’t approval or trust Vincent. And, from the looks of the glares Lay was giving John McBain, Van wasn’t the only one who didn’t like her sister’s choice in men.

“So, your boyfriend is a boxer?” Darius asked hoping to lighten the atmosphere a little.

“Yes.” Evangeline answered politely glancing at her sister and cousin.

“Oh.” Darius looked at Yvonne. “I thought you said he was a painter.”

“I thought he was.” Yvonne looked confused at her cousin.

“He is.” Evangeline smiled as she tried to explain. “Cristian recently discovered his passion for boxing.”

“And, he’s good.” Vincent jumped in. “He’s the first guy I have managed, but I am truly impressed by his heart and skills.”

“Really.” Darius replied then everyone went quiet for a few minutes until he offered to get everyone drinks.

“That’s great baby.” Yvonne kissed him for offering.

“Okay. I know my baby wants an Emerald Martini…” He pointed to Layla.

“I’ll take a Cosmopolitan.” He then pointed to Evangeline.

“Just get me a ginger ale.” Evangeline avoided everyone except Layla’s stare as they gave her questioning looks.

“Okay. Lay wants a Cosmo, and Van wants a ginger ale. JD, I know your poison.” Darius glanced at Vincent. “What can I get for you?”

“How about I help you get the drinks?” Vincent stood not giving the man a chance to protest or John a chance to offer. “I need to make a call anyway.”

Evangeline raised her eyebrow at Vincent and watched as he and Darius walked away. Yvonne’s voice grabbed her attention back to the company in front of her.

“So… John, how are you going to feel about running into my father again?” Yvonne asked rudely.

John didn’t reply as he searched her features and realized Layla was studying him. Evangeline shot a challenging stare at her cousin that went ignored.

“Have I met your father?” John finally asked shifting in his seat and finishing off his beer as he noticed the drink he purchased for Evangeline was in front of Layla.

“Yes, I’m Clayton Williamson’s daughter.” Yvonne informed proudly. She didn’t always agree with her father, but she knew he loved them completely. He only wanted the best for them. He would move Heaven and earth for them.

“Uncle Clay.” John glanced at Evangeline. “I’m sure he won’t have a problem with me now that Evangeline and I aren’t together.”

Evangeline watched as Yvonne examined him.

“If you ladies will excuse me,” John stood. “I need to go to the restroom.”

Evangeline waited until John was out of ear range then spoke to Yvonne.

“Yvonne, I can’t believe you. I would expect something like that from Layla.” Evangeline waved her right hand. “But, you! You truly lived up to being your father’s daughter. How would you feel if one of Darius’s family members treated you like that?”

Yvonne watched as Evangeline stood and went in the opposite direction of the restrooms. She glanced at Layla who shrugged then started eating the olives from the dirty martini.

“Now you.” Yvonne rested her elbows on the table. “Why doesn’t Van trust your man?”

Layla glanced at Yvonne then over at the bar where Vincent was smiling back at her. “You know Vangie is over protective especially when it comes to us.”

“But, she didn’t even trust him delivering a message from her man.” Yvonne studied her baby cousin. “Come on Lay. Tell me what is going on.”

“Von, Vincent is good to me.” Layla whispered. “Evangeline is just being Evangeline.”

“And, you only call her Evangeline with me when you are hiding something.” Yvonne confronted but was interrupted when she heard Vincent.

“I have a Cosmo for my Sugar Bear.” Vincent placed the drink in front of Layla. “And, a ginger ale for your sister.”

He placed the drink on the table. “Where is Evangeline?”

“Little girl room.” Layla informed him, grabbed her drink, and finished it in on gulp. Hilary Duff’s Wake up started playing. “Let’s dance baby.”

Vincent placed his drink on the table and followed Layla who had already stood and headed to the dance floor. They passed by John who was returning to the table the same time Evangeline was.

“Is everything okay?” Darius asked his finance concerned as she watched Layla leave.

“Everything is fine.” Yvonne followed Layla’s action, finished her drink in one gulp, and stood. She didn’t have to tell her man that she wanted to dance. Without hesitation, he followed her to the dance floor.

Evangeline glanced at John then sat back down. She watched as he followed her actions. They sat quiet for a few minutes.

“Thank you.” John finally broke the silent.

“For what?” Evangeline asked as she watched him take a few sips from his beer.

“For standing up for me.” John whispered and looking at the table. “And, calling me your friend.”

“You are John.” Evangeline enlightened. “We talked about that in your office. I’m sorry for my cousin…”

“Please don’t apologize for your family standing up for you.” He cut her off and their eyes met. “We both know I deserved worst.”

They were quite until the next song started.

“They call this music?” John asked frowning as he listened to the DJ’s next selection, Kanye West “Golddigger”. A few guys on the floor started hollering lyrics and waving theirs hands.

Evangeline shrugged, smiled then ran her hand through her hair. She wouldn’t mind having a martini, but she hadn’t told Layla she wasn’t pregnant yet. If Layla saw her drinking, she would definitely cause a scene, and they already dodged one. Besides, Ultra Violet was not the place she wanted to tell her sister she wasn’t pregnant. Well, she told Cristian at the gym earlier, so she guessed a club wasn’t that bad after all. Anyway, with John beside her, she needed to have a clear head. She didn’t need alcohol clouding her judgment.

Her ringing cell phone captured her attention. “Excuse me.” She pulled her cell phone out of her purse then turned her attention to it.

John heard Cristian’s name and waved for one of the waitress. While he was ordering another beer for himself and replacement drinks for everyone else, he heard her ask her lover if he changed his mind about joining them. When she told him to get some rest, he knew he wouldn’t be seeing Vega tonight. He had Evangeline to himself even if it was only for tonight. He wanted her in his arms. He glanced at the DJ then tapped her arm to get her attention. He mouthed that he would be right back. She nodded and turned her attention back to her phone conversation.

“Was that Cris?” Layla walked over seeing her sister on the phone. She and Vincent sat down.

“Yes.” Evangeline closed her cell phone then informed them of what her ex did. “John ordered another round of drinks for everyone.”

“Did Vega change his mind?” Vincent asked not impressed by McBain generosity.

“No.” Evangeline answered short. When Layla glared at her, she added. “He’s exhaust as you said.”

Layla offered her big sister a smile as she glanced at her cousin and soon to be cousin-in-law on the dance floor. “I can’t believe she’s getting married.”

“Well, Sugar Bear, you just let me know what you want to get them for a wedding present, and it’s done.” Vincent welcomed Layla’s kiss. “And, don’t you worry about the cost.”

“Isn’t he wonderful.” Layla looked at her sister for approval. She frowned when Evangeline didn’t respond.

The waitress returned with their drink order when the DJ announced he was going to slow things down for the rest of the night. The first song was Boyz 2 Men I Miss You.

Evangeline was sipping from her glass while Layla and Vincent were having a conversation. John returned to the table. She glanced up when he didn’t sit down.

“You want to dance?”

Evangeline gasped as she looked at John’s extended hand and listened to the words of the song. She told herself to say no. She knew no good would come out of them dancing. She looked up and started to say no until her eyes locked with his. And, before she knew it, her hands were in his, and he was leading her to the dance floor.

She smiled weakly as he stared into her eyes as the song played. She refused to believe that he was saying the words playing to her. John didn’t miss her. He wasn’t praying for her to come back.

John wrapped his arms around her waist and moved side to side slowly. Feeling overwhelmed by his gaze, she placed her arms around his neck and allowed him to pull her closer. As she rested against his body, she could feel his body heat.

Big mistake! The closeness connected them even more and confused her even more. She took in the scent of his cologne and realized how much she missed him. She once told him he was the man that could take her in his arm and make her forget about the rest of the world. It wasn’t enough for her to continue the relationship then, but it was enough for her to ignore that she was in a relationship with Cristian. And, her boyfriend’s manager was sitting at a table with her sister only a few feet away. She couldn’t believe how easily she was surrendering to John after he crushed her. It took her months to get over him and move on with Cristian. She started to push him away, but he held her tighter as their eyes met. His eyes revealed that he was feeling what Boyz 2 Men were saying. No way, John could have known this song was going to start playing. No way.

She relaxed again in his arms and acceded to him pulling her closer again. They both lost themselves in the following songs: John Legend’s Ordinary People, Joss Stone’s Understand, Keith Sweat’s I’ll Give All My Love to You, Monica’s Let’s Straighten It Out, and Boyz 2 Men’s On Bended Knee.

When “On Bended Knee” started playing, Evangeline lifted her head off John’s chest and stared up at him. She saw the emotions in his eyes and decided to distract herself by looking for her sister and cousin. She glanced over John’s shoulder and saw Vincent and Layla dancing and kissing behind them. She turned her head to look over her shoulder and didn’t see her cousin on the floor. When she stepped back slightly, she felt her dance partner hands tighten on her waist.

“She and Darius are at the table.” John offered not taking his eyes off her face. “You’re beautiful.”

Evangeline frowned and looked at him. “What did you say?”

“I said you’re beautiful.” His lips parted a little as he stared at hers.

His journal entry flooded her mind. “It’s funny to me I have been saying the words to her along but not saying the actual words. She doesn’t know, but every time I tell her she’s beautiful in my mind I’m saying I love you.”

“You said I’m beautiful.” She questioned again then found herself moving her head towards him.

“Okay, Gentlemen and Ladies, this is our last song for the night.”

Evangeline jumped out of John’s arms when she heard the DJ’s announcement. “We should…I should…It’s late.” She avoided his eyes. She couldn’t believe she was about to kiss him and in public. Was she crazy? She moved away from him still feeling his body heat.

“Layla, we’re going. Vincent can drop you off.” Evangeline ordered hastily as she walked over to their table. “Von, are you and Darius ready?”

“Yes.” Yvonne said grabbing her purse and standing. “And, it seems like you are too.”

Evangeline’s head snapped up and she looked flustered.

“We’re ready to leave here, but I’m not ready to go home.” John walked up, and Yvonne’s smile confused him as she continued. “John, can you take my big cousin home for me? We need to use her car to pick up Darius’s since he rode with you.”

“No!” Evangeline stated before he could answer. “Absolutely not, I’ll ride home with Layla and Vincent.”

John looked down at the floor while Yvonne glanced over at her other cousin in Vincent Jones’s arm.

“I don’t think Lay is going home tonight.” Yvonne studied Evangeline then decided the woman didn’t trust herself.

“I’ll take a cab then.” Evangeline glanced at John who happened to look up at her at that moment. “It’s not John’s job to take me home or anywhere.”

“Chill out Evangeline.” Yvonne said as Layla and Vincent approached. “It’s only a ride...It’s only a ride. Lay give Van your house keys. I got hers. Bye cuzs. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Evangeline stared at John as Layla said goodbye to her cousin then announced she’d be staying with Vincent tonight.

“See you later, babe.” Layla kissed her sister on the cheek and grabbed her purse. “Here are my keys to the apartment.”

Evangeline stared at John. She couldn’t let him take her home. She couldn’t.

John glanced over at Evangeline who was sitting in his passenger seat chewing on the inside of her left cheek. He looked at the radio and remembered he had turned it off when Darius was on his cell phone earlier.

“You want to listen to some music.” John asked but he didn’t wait for a reply. He pushed the on button for the radio.

Evangeline glanced at the radio when she heard Al Green. When she realized it was his song “I’m Still In Love With You”, she started to push the button to change the station. She froze when John’s hand gently grabbed her wrist.

“Let it play.” He pleaded when she gazed into his blue eyes. “Please.”

Evangeline pulled her arm away and focused back out the passenger window. She refused to believe John was saying the words to her. She was thankful it ended until the next song started. She rolled her eyes when she recognized Nat King Cole’s “Love Is Here to Stay”. She ran her hand through her hair and refused to look at John. When the song reached the instrumental interlude, she hit the off button before he could stop her and shifted in her seat to face him.

“Let’s talk.” Evangeline suggested wondering if he was smiling because of her discomfort to the music. “What’s funny McBain?”

“Nothing. Nothing.” John shook his head as she eyed him. “What do you want to talk about counselor?”

“Well...well.” She ran her hand through her hair again. She really didn’t have anything to talk about. Then again, she was curious to how he knew her soon-to-be cousin-in-law. “How do you know Darius? And why does he call you JD?”

“Darius was actually a college friend of Caitlin. She introduced us.” He supplied with comfort she noted. “We became good friends.”

“And JD?” She asked again not sure how to take how willingly he was talking about this part of his past. With John she usually had to pull things from his past out of him. Maybe, he found peace solving his father’s case.

“That nickname came from one of Caitlin’s student.” He laughed at the fond memory.

“I remember…she was a Special Ed teacher right?” Evangeline studied him.

“Yea. I went to visit her one-day at school in the early stage of our relationship, and she had one little fellow in there that couldn’t say John. So, he looked up at me with a great big smile and called me JD.” John smiled at the memory. “Caitlin tried to help him, but he just called me JD the whole time I was there. So, I told him from that point on Caitlin would call me JD.”

“So, when she introduced you to Darius, she introduced you as…”

“JD.” He finished for her. He glanced at her and smiled. His heart warmed as she smiled back.

“Well, that wasn’t so hard was it, McBain.” She teased as she turned around in her seat. It was nice to know John had learned to open up even just a little.

“What?” He sounded confused as he pulled into her condominium garage.

“Opening up.” Evangeline turned in her seat as she ran both of her hands through her hair. He parked then watched as she looked down for her purse then unfastened her seat belt. “I remember you had a hard time with that.”

“Had.” John unfastened his seat belt. He didn’t have a chance to say anything else before she snapped her head up.

“John, you don’t have to get out.” Evangeline had a determined look on her face. “I can make it upstairs by myself.”

“Evangeline, I’m not letting you go upstairs by yourself.” He opened his door.

“John, I have a door man.” She followed his actions and stepped out of the car. “I appreciate the ride, but I don’t need an escort upstairs.”

“Don’t argue with me.” John was standing beside her. “I’m bigger than you.” He stated as he took the car door out of her hand and shut it.

“McBain…” Evangeline prepared to go to war. She didn’t need John McBain going upstairs with her. She had to be honest with herself otherwise she was going to find herself in the same situation at the club. She was still strongly attracted to John. That much she could admit. They never had a problem in that area. “John, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“What?” John played innocent. “I’m just walking you upstairs.”

“Just like you were just dancing with me at Ultra Violet?” She confronted.

“You analyze way too much, Counselor. Come on.” She allowed him to place his hand in the small of her back and guide her towards the elevator doors. “I’m getting scared.” He teased.

When they got on the elevator, Evangeline allowed John to press the button for her floor. She started thinking about how she was going to force him to stay on the elevator. That way she didn’t have to worry about him getting into her place. When they finally reached the fourth floor, she stepped out and turned to him before he could get out.

“Thank you, John.” She rushed as she blocked his exit. “Your job is done. I made it home safe.”

“You didn’t mean what you said at the gym?” John questioned and smiled inside when she offered him a puzzled look. “You told me you would listen if I ever wanted to talk.”

“And you want to talk now?” Evangeline bit her bottom lip as she fought the feeling in her gut that was telling her to run.

“Ve…Cris interrupted us at the gym…” He searched her face to see if she was buying it. He wasn’t ready for the night to end. “I figured we have a second chance now.”

“John…it’s getting…” She ran her hand through her hair, looked at him, and sighed. How many times did she try to get him to open up to her? Now, he wanted to. She couldn’t turn him away. “Okay, but only for a little while.”

John smiled when Evangeline turned away and walked towards her door. He stood quietly behind her as she fished her keys out of her purse. He followed her in when she finally opened the door.

“Make yourself at home.” Evangeline said flipping on the lights then punching in the code for her alarm system. “I’ll be right back with some drinks.”

John walked over to the couch and sat down. He glanced at the Black Enterprise, Essence, Vibe and Ringside magazines on her coffee table. He looked around the room then decided to help Evangeline in the kitchen.

Evangeline walked into the kitchen and tossed her purse on the kitchen table. She exhaled then ran her hand through her hair as she walked over to the fridge. What was she thinking letting him come in? This wasn’t a good idea. She opened the fridge door then closed it. She sighed and decided she was going to ask John to leave. This wasn’t right. She was with Cristian now.

She turned and grabbed the edge of the island as she studied the top of it. She allowed herself to remember how good it felt to be in John’s arms at Ultra Violet. “Damnit, McBain.” She blew out a heated breath. She didn’t realize the moment John walked into the kitchen, so she continued to talk to herself out loud. “You’re still the man who can take me in your arms and make me forget about the rest of the world.”

“I can’t believe I still have feelings for him.” Evangeline shook her head. “Evangeline Williamson, what are you doing? You have moved on. You’re with Cristian now.” She started playing with her bottom lip with her left hand. After thinking silently for a minute, she ran her hand through her hair and glanced up. Her startled expression quickly turned into anger when he didn’t speak. She knew then John heard what she said. He was waiting to see her reaction, so he could counter. It was like the calm before the storm. She really wasn’t surprised by his actions because she knew him so well. She was however confused by hers. A part of her wanted to be pissed off that he was eavesdropping on her private conversation even if it was with herself. The other part of her was relieved that he heard her. If his journal entries were true, she wanted him to know she still loved him.

“No!” She said out loud surprising him. She looked at him and shook her head. “I have moved on.”

John was so overwhelmed by the fact she still had feelings for him. He was right to follow his gut. He was glad he moved into the building and started taking steps to show her he could be the man she deserved. Now, it was time to test the waters. Before he could stop himself, he asked her, “Whom are you trying to convince counselor, me or yourself?

“John, it’s time for you to go.” She barked as she stormed towards him pointing with her right index finger. “Now!”

“Evangeline…” John attempted seeing how upset she was.

“John, I can’t do this. We can’t do this.” She touched her forehead with her left hand and started thinking to herself. This is crazy. Why am I letting John get inside my head again? I buried…No, I have moved on. I survived the hurt and pain I felt over him. I can’t allow him to do this. I need to set some things straight and now. “John, I’m with Cristian. I love Cristian. You are my friend. That is all.”

Evangeline felt guilty for the hurt that surfed in his deep blue eyes before he could hide it. “I can’t…do this.” Her heart started overflowing with emotions. She felt a strong desire to hug him, but instead she turned and moved towards the fridge.

John studied her as she walked over to the fridge. He wasn’t sure what she was doing until he saw the chardonnay bottle she pulled out. He frowned when she opened it and started to drink from the bottle.

“Evangeline, I know you’re upset with me.” He said concerned. “And, I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think you should be drinking in your condition.”

Evangeline had the bottle to her lips but stopped suddenly trying to register John’s words. Did he just say my condition? What condition, and why would he think I had a condition to be concerned about? She pulled the bottle away from her lips, snapped her head in his direction and glared at him. “What condition?”

John swallowed realizing any confused emotion she may have had was now replaced with anger. He knew that look and didn’t envy anyone who she offered it to. He didn’t say anything as she placed the wine bottle on the island top and slowly walked over to him.

Evangeline walked over to John as though she was preparing to cross-examine someone on the witness stand. He has seen this particular demeanor of hers several times in the courtroom.

“What condition, John?” She repeated the question glaring at him and daring him to avoid the question.

“I…I heard…” John wasn’t going to tell on Layla, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to talk himself out of this either.

“You heard what John?” Evangeline snapped. “What?”

“You remember when you saw me at Rodi’s with Michael?” John decided he would distract her with something he was sure she was more curious about. If he took this approach, he could discover if he was in a win-win situation or not.

“John…” Evangeline tried to warn she wasn’t in the mood. When she looked into his eyes, she softened, sighed, and then answered. “Yes.”

“Well, I wasn’t drowning my sorrows because of Natalie.” John paused praying for the courage to continue. “I was drowning my sorrows, because…

Evangeline waited for him to finish, but he didn’t. Anger flared up in her, as she remembered this was the same thing she had to deal with before. This is why she ended things with him because he couldn’t express himself verbally. Earlier in the car, she thought he had changed a little because he opened up, but now she knew better. “What John? Why were you drowning your sorrows?”

John stared at her.

“You still have problems verbalizing your feelings.” She snarled then ran her hand through her hair. She shook her head as she scrutinized him. This wasn’t her problem any more. She didn’t have to deal with John and his expression issues. “John, all I want to know is who told you I was pregnant.”

“I’m a detective.” John supplied feeling helpless. He wanted to open up, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t know why the words wouldn’t come out. He tried it once with liquid courage (whiskey) in his system, but it didn’t work then either. Now, he’s trying it with all he has in him. He wants to offer it to her, but he still can’t.

Evangeline glared at him. She allowed his words to replay in her head. “I’m a detective.” She remembered walking up on Antonio and Cristian at Rourke’s, and even though Cris said he didn’t tell his brother, she knew he did. Antonio, Cristian’s brother, recently rejoined the Llanview Police Department. He and John are friends, and she was sure he was the one who told him. Besides from Antonio, Nora and Layla were the only other people who knew. And, she knew neither one of them would have told him.

“John, it’s late.” She sighed then started for the kitchen door.

“Williamson, are you pregnant?” John asked sheepish.

“What business is it of yours?” Evangeline questioned short as she turned to face him once more. She was physically and emotionally tired. She didn’t want to deal with John and this anymore. “What if I am?”

John gazed at the floor.

“Why would it matter so much to you?” She searched his face as he continued to avoid eye contact. “John, it’s late.” She waited for him to look up. When their eyes met, she felt guilty again. She could see the inter turmoil in his eyes. Deep down she knew John wanted to and maybe even tries to express himself verbally, but it wasn’t enough. He asked her on more than one occasion to be patient with him, but she couldn’t anymore. She wouldn’t at the expense of herself. She knew what she wanted, and John wouldn’t give it to her. She knew he could. Before she could think about it, she answered him. “No, I’m not pregnant.”

Evangeline frowned when she saw relief flooded his face. Why did he care? Why was John doing this to her when he still couldn’t be the man she needed? And, he knew she was with Cristian. Her head started hurting from the emotional roller coaster going on inside of her. She massaged her right temple as she watched John studying her.

“You look tired.” He whispered. “You still look good but tired…maybe I should go.”

“I am John…I am…but you said you needed to talk.” Evangeline sighed then touched her forehead as she watched him stare at her. She looked up at the ceiling. She could read so much emotion in his eyes, but she still didn’t have a clue to what was going on in his head. She never did. “I’ll make us some coffee.”

“Okay.” John walked over to her. “I’ll help. You still keep the coffee cups here.”

“John…it’s okay.” Evangeline jumped when his body brushed up against hers. She spun around trying to stop him and found herself in his arms and her hands resting on his chest.

John gasped softly as Evangeline spun into his arms. He wasn’t expecting her to object, so he walked over to the cabinet. Standing behind her, he reached for the cabinet door beside her. He never had a chance to open the door.

Evangeline studied his face as his eyes slowly looked down to view her face. His eyes connected with hers briefly before zooming in on her lips. When he looked back up and locked his eyes with hers, he captured her lips with his.

At first, Evangeline was overwhelmed by his action and wasn’t sure what to do. As he slowly savored her taste, she knew he was trying to tell her what his body on the dance and his eyes failed to. Her hands involuntarily hide themselves in his thick tresses as his traveled down to her petite firm waist. His hunger for her made hers erupt, and they both deepened the kiss. When she heard John moan, she forced her mind back to reality.

“Why did you do that?” She broke the kiss and tried pushing him away, but he tightened his hold on her as he studied her. “Why did you kiss me John?”

Evangeline looked into John’s eyes and saw expectation. She pushed him again with more force. He let her go this time, and she rushed across the room. As she fought to gain control, she chewed on her bottom lip until her breathing was slightly normal. She stood at the kitchen table focusing on the floor.

“Evangeline?” John mumbled.

“Why did you kiss me John?” Evangeline turned feeling more in control of her emotions but still confused. “What are you trying to tell me?”

“I…I…I have…” She witnessed him struggling with his thoughts and words. “Evangeline, I have come…Damnit!”

John looked up at Evangeline and saw the disappointment in her eyes and on her face.

“It’s time for you to go John.” Evangeline turned and left the room.

John silently cursed himself as he followed her. When he joined her in the front room, she had the front door open and waiting for him. He tried to make eye contact, but she focused on the floor. He paused then walked through the open door. As he turned to speak, a closed door greeted his face.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered then walked towards the elevator.

Evangeline reached her arms across the bed as she slowly woke up. When she didn’t feel Christian’s muscular body, she opened her eyes and sat up.

“Cristian?” She called out to him then smiled when she spotted him sitting in the chaise. He was smiling as he continued to focus on the sketchpad. “What are you doing?”

“I’m drawing the most beautiful woman in the world.” He offered her a smile then continued working on his sketchpad.

“Cristian, please tell me you’re not drawing me while I’m sleep.” She started looking for his t-shirt when she found it she put it on. She slide out of bed frowning and walked over to him. He continued drawing as she stood behind him. She found he wasn’t naked, but he had on his boxers. “Cris…” Evangeline offered breathless. “It’s beautiful.”

“You really like it.” He glanced back at her smiling.

“I love it.” Evangeline returned his smile, kissed him on the lips quickly, and then looked back at the sketching. He made her look so peaceful.

Evangeline ran her hand through her hair and walked around to join Cristian on the chaise. After last night, peace was the last thing she had or felt. Why did John kiss her, and what was he trying to tell her? And, why did she care? She was with Cristian now, and she couldn’t…wouldn’t hurt him. John proved to her last night he hadn’t changed. He still couldn’t verbalize what he felt, but Cristian on the other hand has no problem with it.

“I’m so glad you couldn’t sleep without me last night.” She took the sketchpad out of his hand and eased her slender body on top of him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, tiger.” Cristian caressed her face and frowned. “Are you okay?”

The wrinkles in Evangeline’s forehead revealed her confusion. He didn’t wait for her to ask as he explained the reason for his question.

“You didn’t protest to me calling you tiger.” She smiled then looked up to the ceiling and back at him. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“And so are you.” Evangeline covered his lips with hers. She wouldn’t hurt him. Cristian stood by her when she needed someone even if she didn’t want someone. He was her hero. He chose her and put her first. Breaking the kiss, she stared into his brown eyes. “I need to tell you something Cristian.”

Cristian frown then shifted in the chaise causing her to sit up a little. “Okay. What?”

“John is a good friend of Darius my cousin’s fiancé.” She studied her lover’s reaction. “He’s going to be in the wedding party.”

Cristian nodded his head, glanced down, and centered his attention back on her.

“I wanted you to hear it from me.” She pursued knowing her boyfriend had a jealous side. “I don’t want you to be distracted by this or anything while you are training. I’m with you.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Cristian kissed her then pushed her off him gently. “I need to shower and get to Rourke’s. I will come back tonight.”

“Okay.” Evangeline moved so he could get up. She sat on the chaise for a second replaying his reaction in her head. When she looked back, her hand involuntarily reached out for his left wrist. “Hey, I love you…and only you.”

“I love you too, Tiger.” Cristian offered her a weak smile then walked over to the shower.

Evangeline ran her hand through her hair again then mouthed. “Damnit, John McBain.” She listened as the shower turned on.

She stood, walked over to her dresser, pulled open a drawer, and grabbed a pair of pajama bottom. Her eyes shifted to the mirror and she stared at her self for a second. Another object quickly got her attention. She wasn’t sure why her eyes centered in on the reflection of the bed. Then she closed her eyes and said a silent prayer. Even though Cristian Vega was in her bed last night, she yearned for John McBain. It took everything in her power to push him into the back of her head as she made love to Cris. Never had she found herself in this predicament. She was in love with another man, but in a relationship with a man she has grown to love. She turned around and stared at her bed.

“No.” Evangeline shook her head and blinked to prevent the tears burning her eyes from escaping. She effortlessly put on her pajama bottoms as she talked out loud. “Cristian is good to me. He loves me.” She headed towards her bedroom door and stopped at the threshold.

She looked at the bathroom door and her gut told her she didn’t want this to work. She wanted out. No. She denied, but she knew it was the truth. If she really wanted things to work with Cristian, she would join him in the shower instead of running.

She ran her hand through her hair as she inhaled and followed the delightful aroma of breakfast to the kitchen. When she walked into her kitchen, she found her cousin fully dressed, wearing an apron, and cooking.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” Yvonne greeted taking muffins out of the oven.

“Morning, and don’t call me that.” Evangeline’s eyes roamed her island top, and she was amazed at the variety of foods. She watched as her cousin place the muffin pan on top of the oven. “Where’s Darius?”

“You didn’t have a problem when Harlem called you that.” Yvonne took the apron off, straightened her shirt, and turned to Van. She smiled when her cousin rolled her eyes at the reference of her old boyfriend...actually fiancé. “Darius went to look for an engagement ring. I couldn’t remember what you like for breakfast, so I kinda made a variety of things. Cris joining us?”

Yvonne grabbed two plates and handed one to Van.

“I don’t know…Kinda?” Evangeline teased taking the plate and looking at her cousin’s ring finger. In the excitement of seeing her baby cousin, she didn’t notice the bare finger.

“Whatever! We have buttermilk pancakes, blueberry pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs with cheese, eggs without cheese, blueberry and banana muffins, biscuits, French toast, grits, cinnamon and spice oatmeal, freshly squeezed orange juice, frozen grape juice…Oh, I forgot fruit…We got bananas, oranges, and apples.”

“Yvonne, who were you cooking for? Cristian is training, so he can’t eat most of this stuff.” Evangeline put her left hand on her head amazed that her cousin made all this food. “I’m assuming, since Layla isn’t in here pigging out, she is still with Vincent. We have enough food to feed an army for months…and,” She frowned at her cousin. “You found the ingredients for all this stuff in this kitchen?”

“Please!” Yvonne finished fixing her plate and walked over to the kitchen table. “In a house with you and Lay without your mom or me.”

Evangeline smiled as she started fixing her plate.

“The only thing you had in your fridge that I could use was butter, and you had pepper and salt in your cabinets. The rest I had to go get.”

“I don’t have time to cook.” Evangeline joined her at the table. “Besides, Cristian usually goes to his mom’s diner for breakfast.”

“What about John?” Yvonne poured syrup on her pancakes.

“What about John?” Evangeline glanced over her shoulder feeling uncomfortable. She took the syrup from her cousin.

“What does he do for breakfast?” Yvonne glanced at the kitchen door.

Evangeline put the syrup down and glared at her cousin. “Yvonne, I’m only going to say this one more time. I’m with Cristian…not John.”

“Hey Cuz, I’m sorry.” Yvonne studied Van and stuffed a mouthful of pancakes in her mouth.

“Okay, my beautiful tiger.” Cristian spoke in Spanish as he walked into the kitchen. “Oh…”

Evangeline stood up when she heard her lover’s voice. “Cristian Vega, this is my cousin, Yvonne.”

“Hello.” Cristian extended his free hand. His other hand was resting at the small of his girlfriend’s back. “Congratulation on the marriage thing.”

“Thanks.” Yvonne allowed her eyes to rake over Cristian’s body. “Van tells me you’re training for a big fight. I hope you can still make it to the wedding.”

Cristian looked at Evangeline confused and she in turned looked at her cousin. Yvonne decided to explain her reason.

“Oh. Last night, Momma called and she and Aunt Lisa decided it would be better to have it at home instead of here. Will that be a problem?”

Evangeline glanced at Cristian, her cousin, and then focused on Cristian.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Cristian answered Yvonne, but he didn’t stop looking at Evangeline.

“Cristian, this is your first title fight.” Evangeline studied him and smiled. “I know you are putting me first, but I don’t want you to be distracted. I know this fight means a lot to you.”

“You mean more.” Cristian kissed her softly on the lips. “I’ll be there. I’ll tell Vincent today.”

“Okay.” Evangeline beamed loving how he always put her wants and needs first.

“I love you.” He cupped her face and kissed her. She welcomed him kissing her because she felt her cousin needed visual proof. She was with Cristian. “I have to go.”

“I’ll walk you to the door.” She offered but he quickly protested saying she needed to eat before her food got colder. “See you later.”

Yvonne watched as Cristian left, and Evangeline sat back down at the table. She continued to study her cousin as she started eating.

“What?” Evangeline glanced up catching her cousin studying her. When Yvonne didn’t say anything, she pushed her plate aside knowing her cousin had something to say. Evangeline now knew the one thing she hated about the Williamson family. Each member of the Williamson family had the inability to mind their own business.

“You’re not in love with him.” Yvonne challenged.

“Yvonne, please.” Evangeline crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m not about to discuss my relationship with you.”

“Good, because you will only tell me the lies you are telling yourself.” Yvonne didn’t stop when Evangeline gaped at her. “You and John aren’t finish. You both still have feelings for one another. I would even say you are still in love with one another.”

“You are dead wrong.” Evangeline stood, grabbed her plate, and walked over to the garbage. “I’m with Cristian.”

“Cristian isn’t the man you are in love with. Cristian…isn’t your soul mate.” Yvonne stood and followed her cousin’s actions.

“What? You have been engaged for five minutes? And now, you’re an expert on love and soul mates.” Evangeline let out a hated breath. She was tired of her Mother, Layla, and Yvonne getting into her personal relationship. She wasn’t a complete screw up in the department. Damn! She was a successful educated lawyer. Why was this so hard? And, why did she have to have her cousin here to tell her the truth. She looked back at her cousin and wasn’t surprised that her statement didn’t faze her. Yvonne was like her in that aspect. She didn’t wear her heart on her sleeves like Layla. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said…but I don’t need you analyzing my relationship either.”

“Girl, you have already done that, so tell me how long you gonna live a lie.” Yvonne questioned.

“What lie?” Evangeline asked innocently.

“The lie that you aren’t in love with Cristian.”

“Yvonne, you know nothing about my relationship, so can we please stick to china patterns and wedding songs.”

Yvonne studied her cousin for a minute then said. “Van, I thought I saw unfinished business with you and John while you were on the dance floor…a connection of sorts.”

Evangeline knew sooner or later she was going to have to answer for her actions last night on the dance floor. They were just dancing and her cousin was implying more. She and John are friends. She wondered how many times she would have to tell herself before she started believing it.

“Cuz, I love you. And, I know John couldn’t tell you that.”

Evangeline sighed and rolled her eyes. Layla and her mother needed to learn how to keep their big mouth shut.

“But, last night when I saw him looking at you and dancing with you, I saw a man that was deeply in love and probably afraid of the emotions he was feeling.” Yvonne sighed. “Darius told me John didn’t even look at Caitlin the way he looks at you.”

Evangeline looked at her surprised then busied herself with cleaning up. “I can’t believe John is Darius’s old friend. I need some coffee.” She finally spoke nonchalantly. Yvonne didn’t say anything as she watched her cousin avoid the conversation.

Evangeline walked over to the coffee maker by the refrigerator. When she saw the pot empty, she turned to her cousin in disgust. “You made all this food, and you couldn’t make a pot of coffee?”

“Cookie, caffeine isn’t good for the baby.” Yvonne decided to put the John topic on the back burner for the moment. “And, it’s a good thing I’m getting married soon or you will have pictures with a swollen stomach.”

“What baby?” Evangeline walked over to her family member irritated that once again Layla shared her private business with her.

“Girl, please.” Yvonne stopped cleaning and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Don’t give me that I’m tired of you and Layla talking about my business look. You know how we do. We dish all our drama then we jump on yours.”

Evangeline smiled realizing that her cousin was telling the truth and relieved they weren’t talking about John McBain anymore. She remembered how they would tell each other business as kids. She was included, but there were times when she got frustrated with those two and would tell on them. When Evangeline complained to their grandmother, she would always hear she didn’t have any business to tell.

“Now, sit your butt down and talk to me. You know, your sister always leave out details.” Yvonne prompted her elbow on the table and placed her chin in her hand. “So, tell me the dirt first hand. Is it John’s baby or Cristian’s?”

“Not funny…Neither. Nosy.” Evangeline smiled at her cousin’s twisted humor Evangeline shared her scare with her cousin figuring she would only have to tell one Williamson for the rest to know. She didn’t realized how much she missed fellowshipping with Yvonne. Yes, she had Layla and Nora for girl talk, but she always had a special connection with Yvonne. They were more than cousin, almost like sisters. They were two years apart. Yvonne’s personality was a mixture of Evangeline and Layla; even though, she let more of her Layla tendencies show. At times, Evangeline found it hard to deal with her cousin, but for the most part they got along wonderfully.

“Enough about me.” Evangeline sipped from her coffee that Yvonne said she could have since she wasn’t pregnant. She smiled over how protective her cousin was of her. She and Layla always tried to play her hero. “What about you? Why are you and Darius getting married after living together for five years? Why haven’t he gotten you an engagement ring, and why the rush?”

“Girl, one damn question at a time.” Yvonne joined the other woman in laughing. “ I love Darius. I truly do. He asked me two years ago, and you know I have been against marriage since Aunt Lisa and Uncle Carl divorce. Daddy and Mommy shouldn’t be together, but you know that praying woman of God won’t give up.”

Evangeline understood her cousin’s fears of marriage because she had some of her own. Besides from her parents, she has seen too many marriages end in divorce. “He gave me an ultimatum earlier this month and said he wanted to be married by the end of this month.”

“What?” Evangeline choked on her drink as she studied Yvonne.

“Yes. And, can you believe your Uncle Clay tried to tell me it was my fault.” Yvonne was getting worked up as though she was hearing it for the first time herself. “The man couldn’t stand Darius Tate until he made partner at Jackson, Toussaint, and now Tate law firm.”

“No, Uncle Clay always liked Darius. You know how protective he is when it comes to his Williamson girls. He only wants the best for us.” Evangeline shook her head as she got up and headed to the coffee pot for a refill.

“Is that why you haven’t taken Cristian home?” Yvonne stood and started clearing the table. “I know what happened at Aunt Rita’s funeral. And, John handled it better than Darius and from your emails Cristian would have. I know D would have cut a fool. That is one reason I didn’t go…and besides the fact Aunt Rita didn’t like me.”

“That is not true. I don’t know why you and Layla feel that way.” Evangeline shook her head wishing those two would see how much Aunt Rita loved them all. “How is your mom doing? I only got a chance to see Aunt Sue briefly when I visited. She didn’t come back to the house like Uncle Clay.”

“She’s good. She’s happy I’m finally getting married. Darius won her heart the first time she met him; even though, he’s not in the church.” Yvonne ran some water in the kitchen sink. “And, you wouldn’t believe that Holy filled woman started asking me over a year ago when I’m going to give her some grandbabies. You should have heard daddy.”

They shared a laugh.

“You know how Momma was always hammering the Lord’s teaching in us. Well, I guess her desire to have grandbabies over shadow her teaching.” Yvonne cut the water off and turned to her older cousin. “I can’t help it…Are you still in love with John?”

Evangeline stopped and cocked her head. “Why are we back on John?”

“Because as I said, I saw some unfinished business. I know I was pissed off at first, but I see how you look at him and he you.” Yvonne studied her older cousin. “And, you two were dancing like lovers and not friends…I’m sure he was turned on.”

“I have to go get ready for work.” Evangeline stated feeling uneasy remembering feeling John’s desire for her. It was natural. It wasn’t the first time a man became turned on dancing with her. She didn’t need to make a big deal when it was John. He knew her body very well. But, with any other man, she would have pushed them away since she was in a relationship with Cristian.

“Okay. One last question, Van.” Yvonne smiled.

“What Yvonne? What?” Evangeline snapped tried of talking about John.

“Calm down.” Yvonne’s smile widened as she held up her right hand. “I need a manicure. Can you recommend any place?”

“Foxy Roxy’s Hair Haven…If you get ready, I’ll drop you off.”

“You want me to get my nails done at a place called Foxy Roxy’s Hair Haven?” Yvonne turned her nose up.

“Loosen up.” Evangeline offered one of her signature smile. “Foxy Roxy’s is good. I get my nails done there.”

“Let me see.” Yvonne looked at her cousin’s nails. “You need a touch up yourself.”

“Whatever. Come on. I have a meeting so my nails will have to wait. I promise Roxy will take care of you.” Evangeline glanced at her cousin’s hair. “And maybe she can do something with your hair too.”

Foxy Roxy’s Hair Haven

Yvonne was sitting in one of the salon chairs admiring her nails as the blonde beautician worked her magic on her feet. She had gotten a deep conditioning and basic style for her hair, a massage, manicure, and now she was working on her pedicure.

On the drive over Evangeline had informed her about the owner and history of the shop. Yvonne hadn’t seen Roxy since she had been there, and she had to admit she was a little disappointed. She wanted to see the mother of the woman who stole her cousin’s boyfriend. Evangeline made her promise if Natalie was to show up not to start anything, but Yvonne already had plans of her own. Roxy or Natalie wouldn’t know her true identity until she was ready.

Five minutes later she looked up when she heard two different woman voices. One was an older blonde woman with a bad hair piece and the other was a younger red head a bit on the chubby side. Tired of reading the Vogue and Sophisticated Hairstyle Guide magazine, she decided to admire her manicure. She had asked for a Jet, Ebony, or Essence magazine, but the young blond simple stared at her clueless.

“Roxy, I can’t believe how messed up my life is because of Evangeline Williamson.” Yvonne’s ears opened up when the red head said her cousin’s name. She watched as Natalie followed the blonde into the room she was occupying. “I mean what is it about her.”

Natalie sat in the vacant seat behind Yvonne. “Roxy, I just want a manicure today.” She sighed then continued to rant. “I mean. When John and I first hooked up, he had this great phobia of a relationship, but as soon as he get with the attorney Barbie version, he was so ready.”

“Well, Nattie, I told you John and Van-ga-line use to rock the house.” Roxy squeaked then laughed. “I mean, you could always tell when she spent the night with McBain…He was whipped.”

“Roxy, you aren’t helping.” Natalie rolled her eyes. “I am so lost. John is still in love with her. Cristian is…”

“Hold up.” Roxy interrupted starting on her nails. “How do you know Johnny boy is still in love with her?”

Natalie sighed then glanced over her shoulder. She didn’t know the customer behind her, so she was sure she didn’t know John or Evangeline. And, the blonde beautician was use to hearing her and Roxy talk. “Okay. While he was sleeping, John called out Evangeline’s name.”

“Wow.” Roxy said as she filed her daughter’s nails. “McBainy dreaming about the chick right next to you? Not good Nattie.”

“That wasn’t the worst part Roxy. I found all these memorabilia of their relationship under our bed.” Natalie’s face showed her dismay. “I couldn’t believe he’s been making love to me while he hide memories of her under our bed.”

“Like I said before Johnny isn’t going to change his stripes.” Roxy informed. “Something missing in that elevator.”

“I don’t need to hear I told you so Roxy.” Natalie smacked her lips and continued. “Well, I decided I could forgive him after I found the memorabilia, because he had tangible memories of Caitlin when I met him.”

Roxy looked at her daughter as if she had a third head.

“Don’t look at me like that. I know if I would have asked John to throw those things away he would have.” Natalie tried to convince herself. “Anyway, I found this journal.”

“McBain keeps a journal. Hmm, he doesn’t seem like the type.”

“Roxs, do you want to hear this or not?” Natalie snapped becoming very frustrated with the woman she thought was her birth mother growing up.

“Yeah, I was just saying Johnny doesn’t seem like the type of dude that would keep a journal.”

“Well, I was surprised too…even more surprised to find out that he still was in love with Evangeline from his entries.” Natalie rolled her eyes. “You should have read the way he talked about her like she was some queen or something. God’s gift to this world.”

“Well, you two worked things out right because he’s moving to AC with you.” Roxy laughed. “And, Evan-ge-line will be here in Llanview.”

“John isn’t moving to Atlantic City with me.” Natalie frowned.

“He gave his thirty day notice.” Roxy informed. “I told him he didn’t have to worry about paying me for the whole thirty days because I figured you two would need the money for deposits and stuff.”

“Roxy, I don’t know where John is moving to.” Natalie wondered. “But, he’s not going with me. I’m not even sure if I am.”

“What? Why? What about the job you were offered?” Roxy started on her other hand.

Natalie smiled then licked her lips. “I went to see Cristian and I think…Cris still has feelings for me… something is still there.”

“Oh, Natalie…I don’t think you want to go that route.” Roxy shook her head as she tried to warn the young woman.

“Why?” Natalie questioned a little irritated. “Just like John, Cristian was my man before Evangeline. He was…is my soul-mate. And, when he hugged me the other day, I felt something. He wasn’t hugging me like a friend he was hugging me like a soul mate.”

“I don’t know Nattie.” Roxy warned. “If Van-ga-line could turn Bainy out, you know she wouldn’t have any problem puttin something on Vega. I mean, you have to admit those Vega boys fall in love at the drop of a hat.”

“Cristian doesn’t love Evangeline.” Natalie protested. “He is only with her because I told him I wanted to be with John.”

“If you say so Nattie. Just be careful.” Roxy decided not to argue with her. “Van-ga-line seems to do something to these Llanview men. She even had Toddie boy wanting a chance.”

“Thank you.” Yvonne said as she stood and turned towards Natalie and Roxy. “So, who do I pay?”

“You can pay me. What all did you get done?” Roxy stopped doing Natalie’s nail and stood to take the money.

Yvonne studied Natalie as she listed all the things she had done today. She was wondering how she was going to handle this or if she was going to say anything at all. Just looking at the chubby red head, she knew she didn’t like the woman. When Roxy told her the total, she paid the woman and waited for her to count it.

“This is double what you owe me.” Roxy informed smiling and sounding surprise. “Is the rest a tip? Was the service that good?”

“The rest is for this.” Yvonne turned to Natalie and punched her in the face. The punch was so forceful it knocked Natalie out of the chair. “I think I gave you more than enough for that.”

“What the hell?” Natalie jumped up in shock holding her jaw. “Who the hell are you? You crazy bitch.”

“Ms. Roxy, I’m going to take my break.” The young blonde beautician said as she started walking out.

“Okay.” Roxy said knowingly. Her employees didn’t like the catfights as she did.

“Evangeline Williamson’s cousin.” Yvonne offered glaring at Natalie. “Yvonne Williamson!”

“I should have known.” Natalie flipped her hair off her shoulders and stepped to the girl. “Well, it’s a good thing you have a lawyer as a cousin because my Uncle is the police commissioner, and you are going to jail for assault.”

“Well, Nattie, there is no need to call Commissy.” Roxy stepped in waving the extra money. “Just think of it as a paid hit. You don’t want my place getting any bad publicity do you? Besides, now you can tell Cristian you know what it feels like to take a punch for money.”

“Roxy will you please shut up…better yet call Uncle Bo. I’m not letting this bitch assault me and get away with it.” Natalie turned to Yvonne. “You are going to jail for this.”

“Fine. Because it was worth it, and I will be out in an hour.” Yvonne smirked. “I don’t have to tell you about my cousin’s reputation. I think you already know of it… and not only her professional one. And, if I’m not mistaken, isn’t John the chief detective. It will give them a reason to see one another.”

“You Williamsons are crazy.” Natalie spat, as she hated the idea of John and Evangeline seeing one another.

“You got that right. You are just fucking with the wrong one. If it were Layla or me, we would have kicked your ass a long time ago. Evangeline is just too nice to be bothered with the likes of you.” Yvonne revealed holding back the urge to give Natalie a Williamson beat down. “And, listening to your conversation, I will advice you to take your chubby ass on to Atlantic City. I don’t want to have to put my foot up your ass for coming between my cousin and Cristian. I’m new in town and I don’t want to have to show my behind. But, I will if I need to. You can bank of that.”

“Excuse you.” Natalie stepped into Yvonne’s face. “I was having a private conversation with my mother.”

“Well, maybe, you shouldn’t hang all your dirty laundry out in public.” Yvonne stepped closer to her. There was no way she was going to let this woman disrespect her or her cousin.

“I can’t help if Evangeline is so insecure about her relationship with Cristian?”

“Girl, what are you smoking?” Yvonne crossed her arms in front of her chest because she had the desire to punch Natalie again. And, if she did, she knew she would definitely go to jail. “What man in his right mind would pick you over Evangeline? She’s intelligent, highly paid…as your mother informed you…she can satisfy a man completely…” Yvonne laughed then continued. “You’re not even woman enough to keep him from thinking about another woman while you are in bed with him.”

“Yvonne!” Evangeline’s voice echoed in the salon. “What is going on? “

“Nothing.” Yvonne lied as her cousin approached. “I was just paying the bill.”

Evangeline looked at Yvonne, Roxy, and Natalie. “What happened?”

“You remember when Layla came to town and I told you to get her a leash. You need to have this one put to sleep.” Natalie looked at Roxy. “I’m out of here. I will talk with you later.”

Natalie stormed pass Evangeline and bumped into her purposely.

“No the hell she didn’t!” Yvonne started to go after her, but Evangeline grabbed her arm. “That bitch must be slow as hell. Didn’t she just learn anything about me?”

“What happened?” Evangeline demanded knowing Natalie’s action was directed more at her cousin then her.

“You gonna let that bitch get away with bumping into you.” Yvonne stared at her in disappointment. She knew Evangeline, and she knew she hated confrontation. “Evangeline, she just disrespected you in public.”

“Roxy, I’m sorry for whatever went down.” Evangeline apologized then told Yvonne they needed to go.

Angel’s Square Diner

“I don’t know what is wrong with you two.” Evangeline chastised both her sister and cousin as they sat in a corner booth. She was farthest from the door as Layla and Yvonne sat with their backs to the entry door.

After leaving the salon, they called Layla to see if she wanted to join them for lunch at the diner. During lunch, Yvonne shared with her two cousins everything that happened at the salon.


“She could have had you arrested.” Evangeline notified.

“Yeah, she told me.” Yvonne waved her hand nonchalantly. “Her mom talked her out of it, because she wanted to keep the extra cash I gave her. Besides, with you and Darius I would have had no problem walking.”

“I can’t believe you.” Evangeline snapped. “Do you not understand assault goes on your record?”

“Calm down, cuz!” Yvonne said in unison with Layla. “Calm down, sis!”

“Natalie has been disrespecting Williamson women since we arrived into Llanview.” Layla said eating a French fry. “Antonio saved her from a beat down when I arrived.”

“You know.” Evangeline started in on them grabbing a French fry off of her sister’s plate. “You two don’t think. You do things in the heat of the moment and don’t think about the consequences.”

“Ohmigod!” Yvonne said stealing a French fry too. “Lay, you know who she sounds like.”

“Aunt Rita!” They said in unison as Evangeline glared between the two of them.

“Van, we are just watching out for you.” Yvonne said reaching for another fry.

“Yeah!” Layla popped her hand and knocked the fry out and back onto her plate. “If you two wanted fries, why didn’t you order them?”

“Girl, I got a wedding dress to get into.” Yvonne rolled her eyes and successfully took another fry. She ordered a salad while Evangeline ordered a fruit bowl.

Evangeline joined her cousin and sister in laughing. When she heard the entry doorbell, she glanced up and stopped laughing when she saw John.

Yvonne was the first to notice her changed demeanor and glanced over her shoulder. “Hey, baby.” She beamed when she saw Darius standing behind John.

“Hey yourself.” Darius leaned over Layla to kiss his beautiful fiancée.

“Ugh! I’m sitting here.” Layla complained as she pushed them apart and stood so Darius could take her seat.

“I’m sorry cuz.” Yvonne apologized and kissed Darius again. “I haven’t seen my boobie all day. And, I missed him.”

“What is it with you two and being in love?” Layla teased looking between her sister and cousin. “With Vangie and Cris, I go into insulin shock.”

Evangeline didn’t miss how Layla glanced at John when she mentioned Cristian’s name.

“And, you two…”

“Please cuz!” Yvonne interrupted her. “If I remember correctly, last night you and Vincent put on your own show at Ultra Violet.”

“Whatever!” Layla beamed realizing she was just in love with her man as her sister and cousin. “I have to go. Adriana and I have an appointment to look at an apartment.”

“You’re still moving.” Evangeline said shocked and disappointed. “Why…things have changed…” She glanced at John then back at her sister.

“Vangie, I can’t live with my big sister forever.” Layla stepped in front of John and kissed Evangeline on the cheek. “I love you, but I need my own space…Bye babes.”

“Bye.” Yvonne said as she watched Layla leave and giggled as Darius snuggled closer to her. “John, have a seat.” She ordered as she noticed him still standing.

John glanced at Evangeline who looked at her cousin then smiled politely at John. “Actually, I need to go too.” She slid to the edge of her seat and motioned to stand.

“Come on, cuz.” Yvonne whined. “Take a break. Sit down…”

“Actually, if you have a moment…” John gently touched her stomach to stop her then quickly pulled his hand away as though the touch burnt him. “Sorry.” He whispered as they shared a glance. “A moment…” He pleaded. “That’s all.”

Evangeline glanced at John then at Yvonne and Darius who were paying close attention to the encounter. She sighed then nodded in the direction behind John.

John followed her over to the corner. He kept his eyes focused on her body until she stopped. When she turned and faced him, he started speaking before she could.

“Last night…I…I want to…” John sighed when he saw irritation on her face. “Evangeline, we need to talk about last night. I want to talk about last night.”

“John.” Evangeline laughed slightly shaking her head. She made up in her mind she wasn’t going to go this route again with him. “We have nothing to talk about. I said all I had to say last night.”

“What about the kiss?” He whispered looking over his shoulder. She was sure he was looking for Carlotta, Cris’s mom.

“The kiss said nothing to me.” Evangeline challenged. “I understand words. I need words…Excuse me.”

John stepped aside as Evangeline walked by. He heard her say good-bye to Yvonne and Darius. When he finally turned around, he glanced at his friend and her cousin staring at him. He wasn’t sure why, but he looked over at the diner’s counter. He wasn’t surprised to see Carlotta glaring at him. He sighed, walked over to his friend, and mumbled he had to get back to the station.

“My boy got it bad.” Darius chuckled as he pulled out his Blackberry and pushed a button. “I tell you like I told your daddy. You Williamson girls are poison.”

“What?” Yvonne slapped his arm teasingly then glanced over at the counter at Carlotta. She didn’t miss the glare the Hispanic lady gave John before he left. She made a mental note to talk to the woman. “So, baby, tell me about John McBain.”

Three Days Later ~ The Police station

Darius tapped on John’s office door and waited for a reply.

“It’s open.” John answered not looking up from his computer monitor. “What’s up?”

Darius watched as his friend pecked like a beginner on his computer keyboard. He smiled when he noticed John’s eyes looking at the keyboard instead of the screen. He stood in the middle of the office for a few minutes before John offered his full attention.

“Hey Darius,” John smiled as he leaned back in his chair. “Have a seat man.”

“John, we don’t have time.” Darius pointed towards the door with one hand and glanced at his watch. “We should have been at the bridal shop five minutes ago.”

“Explain to me again, why we are picking out the bride maids dresses?” John frowned at the thought. “I thought that was the job of the bride to be.”

“Traditionally, it is.” Darius grinned. “But, since I gave the ultimatum, I have some of the duties.”

“Well, I didn’t give any ultimatums.” John returned to his typing. “I don’t like them.”

“Come on man! You’re the best man.” His old time friend begged at first then remembered he had a piece of bait. “Okay. I’ll go watch Evangeline and Layla try on dresses and make a decision on my own.”

“Evangeline is going to be there?” John stopped pecking again. When he saw Darius grinning, he knew he had been baited. “You know you can be a jackass at times.”

“Looks who’s talking.” Darius laughed as John stood and headed towards the door.


Doris’s Bridal Shop

Evangeline glanced at her slim gold Cartier watch that was a gift from Todd for her birthday. Darius should have been here ten minutes ago. She was about to say something to Yvonne when her cell phone started ringing. She looked at her cousin and sister as she fished her phone out of her purse. Pulling it out, she flipped it open without looking at the caller ID.

“Evangeline Williamson…Hey, Cristian…How is training going?”

Layla and Yvonne rolled there eyes as Evangeline walked away from them talking and acting like a schoolgirl. Evangeline ignored them as she smiled into the phone.

“I’m here with Layla and Yvonne at Doris’s Bridal shop. We’re shopping for the maid of honor and bride maids dresses.” She giggled and blushed. “Cristian, you know we can’t do anything until after your fight…I don’t want you getting weak. I’m glad I’m all you need…We leave the day after tomorrow. The wedding will be a week from then…I’m counting on you to be there…If Vincent can’t make it, I won’t be disappointed…Layla will get over it…No, I don’t think John is coming early. Maybe, he’ll be there a day or two before.”

Evangeline heard the bell from the entry door and gazed towards it. She was shocked to see John with Darius.

“Yes, Cris…I’m still here.” Her eyes locked with John’s as he and Darius walked over to her cousin and Layla. “Darius just arrived, so I have to go try on dresses…Okay…Okay…Me too…Sorry, I love you.”

Evangeline closed her phone and sauntered over to join the group.

“Hello, Darius - John.” She looked John up and down and offered a questioning glaze. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, Vangie.” Yvonne supplied smiling. “I didn’t tell you. Darius is in charge of picking out the bride maids dresses.”

Evangeline glared at her cousin wondering what she was up to.

“And, since John is the best man, he’ll be helping.” Yvonne turned to Darius. “I’m going. You better pick the right dress.”

“Going?” Evangeline grabbed her arm gently as she wondered what was going on. “Where are you going?”

“Okay. Evangeline.” Yvonne turned to her and Layla who was standing behind her big sister. “Since Darius gave me the ultimatum, I figured he should help out. He will be in charge of picking out the dresses…and some other things.” She turned back to her soon to be husband and John. “Some things he may delegate to his best man. Arrivederci!”

Layla studied John as he looked at Evangeline. She rolled her eyes then gently pulled on her sister’s arm. “Let’s get this over with Van.”

Darius glanced between Evangeline and John as the ladies walked to the dressing room.

“Man, your first game plan better be to get back into little sis’s favor again.” Darius chuckled. “You must have messed up bad.”

“Darius, maybe this wasn’t a good idea.” John started to turn.

“Hey!” Darius grabbed his arm and turned serious. “The John McBain I knew and the one Caitlin loved didn’t run. So, why are you running man? What are you afraid of?”

“Darius…things change.” John glanced in the direction the Williamson sisters disappeared into. “Evangeline deserves so much more than what I can offer.”

“JD, I saw you with Caitlin and you offered her the world.” Darius tone and expression remained serious. “Now, I see the way you look at Evangeline…and from someone who saw you look at Caitlin…Man, I hate to say it, but it exceeds what you had with her.”

John gaped at his old friend and guilt flooded his face.

“John, Caitlin is gone.” Darius saddened. “We both lost something wonderful when she left this earth, but she would have wanted you to be happy.”

John glanced down at his feet and listened.

“I didn’t have to meet Evangeline to know she was something special.” He chuckled again. “Man, she was the first woman you hit the sheets with since you lost Caitlin. I knew you were a goner when you told me.”

John smiled sheepishly.

“I see you are still in love with her every time you look at her.” John looked up at his friend. “You are an excellent poker player, but you are trying to bottle up something that needs to be set free…It’s bigger than you. It’s love.”

“Okay. Gentlemen.” Evangeline announced strolling out of the dressing room wearing a flame color full length Matte Satin bridesmaids dress off the shoulders with a silver crystal pin above her heart. “We have dress number one and one.”

She glanced back at Layla who was following her wearing a flame full length Matte Satin as well, but hers had a chiffon bodice.

John was breathless as he welcomed the mesmerizing beauty of his ex.

Evangeline smiled at Darius as he whistled in appreciation. She turned around and modeled her gown, as Layla started singing isn’t she beautiful. Her expression changed when she glanced at John, and their eyes locked.

Evangeline’s mind went blank, and she felt the strong connection between them. His eyes the color of the sky seemed to reveal every thought in his mind right then. And, she gasped at the emotion she read in them.

“Are you okay?” Layla and Darius rushed to her side as she and John turned from one another.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” She tried convincing them as she laboriously struggled to breathe. “I need…I need…to sit down.”

“Okay.” Layla glared over her shoulder at John for a second then ushered her sister to a near by chair. “I’ll go see if I can’t get you some water.”

“No, I’m fine, Layla.” Evangeline closed her eyes and silently prayed as she touched her mouth. She was losing her mind. John was not in love with her. He was in love with Natalie. He is with Natalie. She inhaled with her eyes still closed. And, I’m with Cristian. I’m with Cristian.

“Evangeline, are you okay?” Evangeline smiled then titled her head upwards as she thought she heard her boyfriend’s voice.

“Besides from the fact I’m hearing Cristian’s voice.” She lowered her head and opened her eyes. “Yes…Cristian?”

Cristian stood facing John as he looked past his girlfriend’s ex with concern written over his face. John looked on as his sometime rival and friend went to the side of the woman he loved.

“Hey Tiger,” Cristian cupped her face. “Are you okay?”

“Cris, if you call me Tiger one more time in public, you won’t have to worry about training for your title fight.” Evangeline teased as she placed her hands on his waist. “I’m gonna do you in myself.”

“Okay, my princess.” Cristian laughed and kissed her before she could retaliate.

“What are you doing here?” Evangeline pushed him away playfully as she wondered. She glanced over his shoulder and quickly felt guilty about feeling happy about Cristian’s surprised visit. She halfway listened as Cris told her he had a two-hour break before his sparing match. Her attention was on John and Darius as they stood over by the check out counter with the salesperson whispering and glancing over in her direction.

God, she thought. When did I become so paranoid and self-centered? John and Darius had other things to talk about than her and Cristian. They were probably discussing the bride maid dresses.

“What?” Evangeline snapped her head up and clipped at Layla.

“Cristian is talking to you.” Layla informed her big sister offering a scolding glance.

“I’m sorry, Babe. What were you saying?” Evangeline smiled weakly as she shared glances between her current and ex boyfriend.

“So, who’s the lucky lady to play the honor of the maid?” Cristian asked glancing over his shoulder.

“We both are?” Evangeline answered distracted. What could they be whispering about? When she felt Cristian’s body tense under her hold, she quickly focused on him. “I’m sorry Babe…I…I am just curious to which dress they like.”

“Well, since you are both maids…Excuse me. Since you are both the maid of honor,” Darius walked over followed by John. “We decided that you two should have two different style dresses.”

Both Evangeline and Layla gave Darius their attention as he continued.

“Flame is the color because your cousin sets me on flames every time I see her.” He continued as both girls giggled. He glanced at Cristian and offered him a smile. “And, I think I will go with style 2017 for the other two bride maids, 3001 for the junior maid, and 23001 for the flower girl.”

Darius offered both ladies a smile then extended his hand to Cristian. “I’m the lucky man, Darius Tate.”

“Cristian…Vega.” Cristian shook his hand and looked at John. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Darius turned to the ladies again. “Now, if you ladies will go change, our salesperson for today will make arrangement to ship the dresses to Mr. and Mrs. Williamson’s house. And, I would like to take everyone out to eat. I heard the Palace was a wonderful place.”

“Thanks man, but I can’t.” Cristian stepped closer to Evangeline. “I need to run a few errands, Babe.”

“Okay.” Evangeline smiled and kissed him softly. “I know you have a lot to do…” She turned to Darius. “I actually need to decline too. If I’m going to take two weeks off for the wedding, I need to rearrange my schedule.”

Evangeline glanced over Cristian’s shoulder at John then said another goodbye to Cristian. Layla watched her sister as she went to the dressing room to change.


Llanview Mall – Victoria’s Secret - Three hours later


Evangeline, Layla, and Yvonne were looking around the store.

“Okay. Can one of you explain to me why I’m here watching you shop for lingerie?” Evangeline questioned as Yvonne examined an ivory satin chemise set. “When I should be at my office working?”

“Vangie, chill!” Yvonne ordered. “In view of the fact that I didn’t give you guys…gals enough time to plan a bridal shower for me. Think of this as my bridal shower…So, you two can start shopping, I were a small.”

Evangeline couldn’t help but smile when her cousin glanced over her shoulder and looked at her backside.

“Make that a medium with my butt.” Yvonne winked as she continued to look through the chemise collection.

“I’m all game.” Layla started glancing through the racks too. “While I’m here, I can get something for me too.”

“See heifer, you are always thinking about yourself.” Yvonne teased as she watched Evangeline look around the store as though she missed placed something. “Come on Vangie.”

Evangeline looked up and sighed at her cousin then joined the girls in shopping.

Evangeline noticed a yellow lace babydoll piece. She took it off the rack and her mind instantly went to a conversation she had with Michael McBain.

Michael: I know you still have feelings for my brother. I know you're worried about him. This will be the wakeup call he needs.
Evangeline: John is in a very dark place right now, and you're talking about legally shutting him out of your life. That could make things worse.

Michael: Well, he took a pretty big hit when you broke up with him.

Evangeline: No, no, Natalie leaving him -- that's when things really changed.

Michael: Don't sell yourself short.

Evangeline: I'm not selling myself short, believe me. But John made his choice.

Michael: Ok, I don't want to speak for my brother, but he loves you, even if he can't say the words.

Evangeline: It doesn't matter anymore.

Michael: It does. He's been hurt, more than you know, and the wounds -- they go deep.

Evangeline: You don't think I know that, Michael? I lived with those wounds. I loved him in spite of those wounds. But it wasn't enough and it never will be, so John and I -- we're through. I still love him, but we're not getting back together and I'm just trying to figure out a way to be friends.

Michael: Well, good luck with that.

Evangeline: I didn't say that it's working. Yeah, I tried to talk him into going to therapy and, you know what, maybe if it came from you, he would listen.

Michael: Tried. He shut me down.

Evangeline: Look, if you really want me to change your will, I will take care of it. But you shouldn't do it to coerce John into changing his ways. The only person that can exorcise John's demons is John himself. Evangeline snapped out of her thought, glanced over her shoulder, and saw Layla and Yvonne looking at the clearance rack. She placed the babydoll back on the rack and strode over to the perfume display. She pretended to smell the samples as she thought about another conversation with a good friend of hers, Dr. Phil Jamison.

Phil: Evangeline, you're beautiful and smart and your heart is so amazingly kind. It's a shame to waste all that on someone who's in love with someone else.

Evangeline: I didn't mention any names.

Phil: You didn't have to. Maybe I'm not the guy. But someone's going to come along who's going to change your mind, get you to love again. Evangeline remembered Layla had witnessed the scene between them. Her little sister had interrupted and voiced her opinion.

Layla: How about you go and get her a drink? A martini, three olives?

Evangeline: Dirty would be great.

Layla: Make it dirty! Thanks. I could kill John Mc Bain.

Evangeline: It's not his fault, Layla, it's mine. I changed for him. He couldn't change for me.

Layla: He's always going to have his little secrets, isn't he?
“Are you thinking about how John took your breath away?” Yvonne walked up behind her and whispered in her ear.

“What?” Evangeline jumped and placed the sample bottle she was holding back on the display.

“Darius told me John was mesmerized by the sight of you in your dress.” Yvonne smiled as she studied her cousin. “You still have feelings for him…don’t you?”

“Feelings for whom?” Layla walked over and jumped into the conversation. Looking at Evangeline’s expression, her sister automatically knew whom Yvonne was asking about. “Yvonne, Vangie is in a healthy relationship with Cristian Vega. She doesn’t have time to think about secret holding, emotionally challenged, no courage John McBain.”

“Okay you two.” Evangeline held up her hands as she glanced around the store. “I’m going to make this simple for the both of you. We don’t need to talk about John McBain, because he’s in a relationship with Natalie Buchanan.”

“No, he’s not.” Yvonne smirked.

“What?” Evangeline and Layla said in unison.

“Natalie wouldn’t break up with John.” Evangeline glanced at Layla then focused on her cousin. “John is all she ever wanted…and she is all he ever wanted.”

“Well, he has a helluva way of showing it.” Yvonne ignored her baby cousin’s glare. “Apparently, John has been holding onto the love you had for him since you broke up with him…The man called out your name in his sleep, and he’s been hiding memories of your relationship under his bed.”

“Is that the same bed he has been sharing with Natalie?” Layla commented sarcastically wondering why Yvonne was trying to push John on Evangeline.

Evangeline recalled the items she saw on John’s bed and diary she read when she went by his apartment. Before she could help it, her mind went to the intense glaze he gave her at the bridal shop. “I…I have…I have to go.”

Yvonne and Layla watched as Evangeline rushed out of the store.

“What is your problem?” Layla turned to her cousin and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Evangeline has a good thing with Cristian. Why are you trying to confuse her?”

“She’s not in love with Cristian.” Yvonne challenged, but she was sure her cousin already knew. “But, you already knew that. Evangeline deserves love…and I think John loves her.”

“He loves her so much he can’t say the words…He loves her so much he has been flaunting the woman who broke them up in her face for the past year…He loves her so much…”

“Okay Lay, I get it. You’re not a big fan of John McBain, but believe me when I tell you; Natalie got what she gave ten folds. The man called out Evangeline’s name in his bed and the red headed bitch was there. Now, if that’s not a bitch, I don’t know what is.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that. How do you know all of this?” Layla questioned as her cousin smiled.

“This is going to take awhile.” Yvonne’s smiled even wider. “Let’s go to the Palace and get a few martinis and talk.”

Evangeline walked into Angel Square motel. She had to talk to him. She couldn’t believe and wouldn’t believe her cousin until she talked to him. She allowed her mind to recall all the visual encounters she witness that would support her cousin’s story. Something wasn’t right with John as of late, and she was starting to get a little worried.

She glanced over at the reception desk and no one was there. It wasn’t surprising because waiting around was never a Balsom’s trait. She glanced over her shoulder, started chewing on the inside of her left cheek, and headed towards the stairs.

There was nothing wrong with her wanting to check on her friend. John McBain was and always will be her friend. As she climbed the stairs, she reasoned if it was Nora, Todd, Antonio, Michael, Marcie, Adriana, Bo…hell the list was long, but the point is she would do the same thing for them. Just because it was John and Natalie doesn’t mean she’s trying to insinuate herself into their relationship. She wasn’t doing that, and she wouldn’t. Natalie did that on more than one occasion with her when she was with John, and she didn’t plan on returning the favor.

Stopping at the top of the stairs, she stared down the hall. What was she doing? She couldn’t do this. This was none of her business. She’s with Cristian and right now she had too much on her plate. Cristian is training for his first title fight, and she has to support him. Her cousin is getting married in less than a week, and she is one of the maids of honor. She doesn’t have time to deal with John and Natalie’s dysfunctional relationship.

Evangeline turned and gasped when she felt two strong arms embrace her small waist. Her breathing quickened and heart started to race. She closed her eyes, said a quick silent prayer, and opened them to find Michael McBain smiling at her.

“Slow down!” Michael gently pushed her back and helped her keep her balance. “There’s no fire.”

Evangeline smiled as she stepped back. She debated with herself whether or not she should talk to him. She finally decided she was being silly. John was her friend.

“Michael, I came to see you.” When he offered her a puzzled look, he continued. “I’m worried about John.”

“E, if this is about my brother,” Michael started to walk pass her. “We should take this inside.”

Evangeline continued to smile as she followed him down the hall.

Rodi’s

“So, what are you going to do about Evangeline?” Darius asked then sipped from his iced tea.

John nursed his beer and ignored the question.

“Come on man.” Darius said turning slightly to the man sitting beside him. “I’m not going to let you ruin Yvonne’s special day.”

John glanced at his friend and took another sip of his drink. Looking into the brown liquid, he finally informed. “You don’t have to worry about me spoiling anything.”

“Anyone with eyes can see you are still in love with the woman.” When John remained quiet, Darius decided to take another approach. “John, I see the way you look at Evangeline. You didn’t even look at Caitlin that way.”

“Darius, leave Caitlin out of this…Don’t compare them.” John warned and down his drink. “Besides, the woman is in a relationship.”

“Yeah, I know, and if I recall, you took his wife from him?” Darius challenged as he studied his friend. “So, taking his girlfriend should be a piece of cake.”

John glared at his friend and remained quiet.

“Sorry, man.” Darius apologized quickly. He knew mentally pushing his friend against the wall wasn’t a way to get him to open up. “That was a cheap shot. But, I loved Caitlin just as much as you did…but in a different way. If you are feeling guilty because you realized your love for Evangeline is more than what you felt for Cait…don’t!”

“You don’t know what you are talking about.” John barked and ordered another drink.

“I hit it right on the nail.” Darius chuckled to himself as he shook his head. “Yvonne told me you and Evangeline broke up because you couldn’t tell her you loved her. And, I couldn’t believe it. When WE lost Caitlin, I prayed one day someone will break through the walls you put up. The first time you mentioned her name before you even told me you hooked up, I knew it would be her. I heard it in your voice. I was angry at first then I thought about how long you cherished and protected Caitlin’s memory. I knew Evangeline had to be something…someone special…amazing…I remember when I saw you a few months after you two hooked up, you had this renewing peace about you. You were alive again…Man, you were in love. Before Evangeline, I couldn’t remember the last time I saw a stupid grin on your ugly mug or heard it in your voice. I was blown away when you told me you two broke up.” Darius looked away from his friend. “I felt your lost.”

John sat quietly as he listened to his friend.

“John, if you let Evangeline walk away because you feel guilty for loving her more than Caitlin,” Darius turned his attention back to the Irish man beside him. “You made the biggest mistake of your life. I don’t agree with what you did with the Natalie…”

“Darius, you don’t have a clue to what is going on with my life.” John rolled his eyes at his friend then signaled for the bartender. “Hey Rick, give us two burgers well done with everything and loaded fries on the side.”

“Rick, please change that order to two chef salads with Italian dressing.” Darius interjected. He knew John was eyeing him. “Man, we have less than a week before my wedding. You need to start watching your diet…Starting tomorrow, we start going to the gym and running.”

“Yes, Mommy.” John replied sarcastically. “Can I have some crackers with my salad?”

“It’s may I.” Darius winked at his old friend as they shared a laugh.


Michael & Marcie’s Apartment

“E, I don’t know why you always sell yourself short when it comes to John and his feelings for you.” Michael questioned bewildered. For Evangeline Williamson to be as brilliant as she is when it came to his brother, she was completely clueless.

“Michael, I can see where you will get confused about how John feels, and whom he’s feeling it for…I mean. I even told him looking at him and Natalie; I didn’t think he was capable of loving anyone.” She explained when the younger McBain frowned. “While I was at the diner waiting for the decision on Todd’s case, John came in, and we talked. He was trying to cheer me up with a joke.”

Michael nodded his head.

“Michael, I told John I didn’t think he was capable of loving anyone.” She frowned. “I was wrong. John loves Natalie.”

“What if you are wrong about that E?” Michael studied her, as she looked confused. He continued. “What if you are really the woman John wants?”

Evangeline opened and closed her mouth twice. Turning she focused on the remote control. She wanted to focus on anything except Michael’s question.

“Evangeline?” He probed.

“Michael, John loves Natalie.” She snapped as she turned to face him. “Natalie loves John.”

“Well, you’re half right.” He sighed and closed the distanced between them. “E, I’m your friend no matter what your relationship is with my brother. I know how it feels to be confused about your emotions over someone.”

Evangeline started to inform Michael she wasn’t confused, but he persisted on his point.

“When you and my brother were together, I never saw so much life in him – E, John was alive again. He was complete…I hadn’t seen him like that…since before our father died.”

“Mich…” She started, but he cut her short.

“Don’t over analyze John’s need to be Natalie’s hero.” He smiled at her weakly. “My brother knows how to play the part of the hero…He wasn’t given the chance to play the role of anything else when he was a kid.”

Evangeline allowed the words that John had once spoken flood her mind. “Natalie just needs more. She wants someone to protect her. She wants someone to take care of her.”

“John is still John.” Michael’s words broke into her thoughts. “I tried to warn Natalie about getting involved with him, but she wouldn’t listen. John is very closed off, and he has a lot of boundaries.”

“Who are you telling?” Evangeline laughed softly as she agreed.

“John has been hurt a lot E.” She watched as he scratched his head. “His wounds go deep. Since our father’s death, John has had this search and rescue mission thing. He feels he failed with Caitlin, so he couldn’t with Natalie.”

“Michael, John feels more than search and rescue for Natalie.” Evangeline turned not wanting her friend to see the hurt from her admission. “He just can’t express himself with words.”

“Not while he’s awake anyway.” Michael murmured.

“What?” Evangeline spun around hearing his words. Her cousin’s statement rushed back into her mind. ‘Apparently, John has been holding onto the love you had for him since you broke up with him…The man called out your name in his sleep, and he’s being hiding memories of your relationship under his bed.’

“Michael,” She sighed and closed her eyes. “When I saw you and John at Rodi’s…” She chewed on her bottom lip for a second before continuing. “I-I was concerned about John, and I went to talk to him. W-when…when I went to his room, the door was open. I figured he or Natalie was inside, but they weren’t.”

The younger McBain remained quiet as she continued.

“I n-noticed…some familiar things…on the bed caught my eye.” Evangeline studied him and saw revelation in his eyes. Michael knew about the memorabilia John kept of their relationship. John must have told him. “Why would John keep memories of our relationship in his room?...A room that Natalie spends a lot of time there alone.”

“I told you. Don’t sell yourself short.” Michael smiled weakly as she faced him. “John never stopped loving you.”

“But, he’s with Natalie.” She stammered over the words.

“No, he was with Natalie.” He confessed. “John called it quits. He didn’t want to live a lie anymore…He wants to be happy.”

“I’m with Cristian…now.” Evangeline stated not missing his meaning. “He loves me.”

“Of course, he does. A man would have to be crazy not to love you.” His gaze went down to her abdomen. “Cris seemed real excited about the baby.”

“I’m not pregnant.” Evangeline informed. She was sure John had told him about her suspicion. John didn’t open up to a lot of people, but he always confided in his little brother. “I should go. I’ve taken up too much of your time.”

“Don’t be silly. I always have time for you.” He pulled her into a hug. “I just want you and my brother to be happy.”

Evangeline relaxed in his arms until he asked her if she was happy. She slowly pulled away and stared into his eyes.

Rex’s apartment

While Rex was opening the door, Natalie stormed into his apartment yelling, “That bitch! I hate her!”

Rex looked out in the hallway then back at his sister clueless. He watched as she tossed her purse on the sofa and turned around to him. “I need a drink…something strong.”

“Okay.” Rex closed the door. “Are you going to tell me what is going on, Nattie or do I have to guess?”

“I just came from seeing Cristian at Rourke’s. I wanted to watch him practice for his big fight. You know, show my support as his friend.” Natalie rolled her eyes as she thought about her ex husband. “He tells me he can’t be my friend like that. It’s okay if we run into each other, but we can’t be buddies and hanging and comforting each other.”

Rex nodded his head in agreement. “That’s probably wise Nattie.”

“Why? Friends aren’t strangers!” Natalie couldn’t believe her brother. “What Cristian is proposing will make us associates…strangers. If I don’t see him, I don’t have a chance in winning him back.”

“Would that be a bad thing?” Rex questioned studying her. “You need to focus on yourself. I mean…you and John just called it quits.”

“John called it quits.” She whispered then started searching his apartment for some alcohol. “And, I see now that he was right to do so, because now, I know I am still in love with Cristian. Cristian is my soul mate. He’s the one I should be with.”

“Natalie, Cristian is in a relationship with Evangeline.” Rex watched as she discovered a bottle of Jack Daniels in the kitchen cabinet. “And, looking at them together, he’s very much in love with her, and she him.”

“If they are so in love,” Natalie challenged. “Why is he telling me we can’t be friends? You want to know why? He’s pacifying that selfish insecure bitch,” Natalie continued as she grabbed a glass and poured herself a drink. “He even went as far to say he loved her more than anything or anyone he’d ever loved in his life…Which if it was true would include me.”

Rex stared at her as she laughed the idea off.

“We all know Cristian loved me more than life.” She downed the strong liquid in one gulp and after she recovered from the burn of it going down, she poured herself another. “I know Cris still loves me.”

“Natalie, he loved you.” Rex tried, but she cut him off. “Past tense.”

“No, Rex. I let E-Evangeline steal John from me.” She looked at him with teary eyes. “I can’t let her win with Cristian too.”

“Nattie, she’s with Cristian – and he’s not leaving her for you.” Rex watched as a tear rolled down his sister’s left cheek. “I don’t want you to get hurt again, Natalie. You chose John over Cristian, and Cristian moved on. Evangeline is a great woman.”

“Yeah,” Natalie rolled her eyes. “And what am I, Rex?”

“You are a woman who needs to find out who she is without John…or Cristian.”

“What? I’m supposed to leave town like every other Buchanan when things get rough.” Natalie poured herself another drink. “I can call Joey and Kevin up and ask if they have room for me in London.”

When Rex didn’t reply, she stopped laughing and looked up at him. “You seriously think I should leave Llanview?”

“Nattie, I don’t think you can stay in Llanview and move on from John and Cristian.” Rex answered honestly. “I think if you stayed here your competitive nature will take over at one point or another. If everything you said about McBain is true, he’s going to try and get Evangeline back.”

“Why would you say that?” Natalie lowered her eyes trying to hide the hurt.

“Because I would if I loved her that much.”

“Maybe, I should warn Cristian.” She tried.

“Come on. We both know your only motive for doing that is to destroy his relationship.” Rex stated. “You once told me you wanted to do the right thing. Here’s your chance.”

Natalie placed her glass on the counter and walked over to her brother with opened arms. Rex gladly embraced her. “I’m going to miss you.” She whispered in his ear.

“Why don’t you stay here tonight?” Rex pulled back and studied her. “We can hang out like old times.”

Natalie smiled weakly and nodded her head. She knew her brother was right. It was time to take care of Natalie Buchanan. She also knew John McBain and Cristian Vega were both in love with Evangeline Williamson. She couldn’t deny it.

“Hold the elevator please.” Evangeline raced over to her apartment elevator not seeing whom she yelled out at but seeing the Caucasian male’s hand that obliged, she was thankful. “Thank you.” She offered as she stepped in, pushed the button for her floor, and opened the folder she was holding. She didn’t look up or back to offer the man a smile or any conversation like she was custom. Her attention was on the sheet music for her cousin’s wedding. Yvonne asked her to sing a solo at the wedding.

She wasn’t sure what she was going to sing. She could go with an Aretha Franklin song. Yvonne has always loved her songs. Anita Baker was one of her favorites too. Her cousin also mentioned one of Darius’s grooms men could sing, so she contacted him and they decided to do a duet. He had faxed over some additional sheet music for her to look over. He had some wonderful suggestions for the bride and groom.

Evangeline glanced up and frowned when her nostril recognized a familiar scent. She knew that cologne very well. She has only smelled that cologne on one man. Her eyes slowly glanced over her left shoulder, and she was surprised to see John standing behind her.

John was the man she asked to hold the elevator for her? Why hadn’t he said anything? What was he doing here? She was about to ask him when the bell from the elevator doors caught her attention. She glanced at him, stepped out of the elevator, and looked back at him.

“A-are you following me?” She questioned confused.

“I held the elevator for you.” He reminded her with a smile. “I live in the building now.”

The ringing of her cell phone grabbed her attention and pulled her out of her shock. “Evangeline Williamson.” She answered not checking her caller ID or taking her eyes off John. “Cris…”

John offered her a smile as he pushed the close button for the elevator doors. He was surprised when he heard her ask Cristian if she could call him back. As the elevator doors started to close, they both reached out to stop them.

They stood there in silence staring at each other as the doors opened again.

“I knew you moved.” Evangeline offered breaking the silent. “But, I didn’t think…”

“Yeah.” John glanced from his shoes to her face. “I needed a change of s-scenario…I-I’m w-working on a fresh start.”

She stood speechless.

“I guess…I guess I should let you go…so you can call Vega back.” He offered her a weak smile and started to push the close button again, but her words stopped him.

“I’m sorry to hear about you and Natalie.”

“Word travels fast.” John teased trying to read her expression.

“Small town.” Evangeline offered then supplied. “If you ever want to talk…or need a cup of sugar…” She didn’t finish her sentence but pointed to her apartment door.

“I might take you up on that offer one day.” John pushed the close button and looked up.

Evangeline watched as the elevator doors closed, and John avoided looking at her. Was he trying to change his life for her? NO, he knew she was in a relationship with Cristian. She allowed Michael’s question to come back to her. Was she happy with Cristian

Evangeline groaned as she heard the music from her alarm radio. She slowly allowed the words to the song to sink into her mind. She quickly recognized Cassandra Wilson’s voice and her version of “Time After Time”. Her thoughts surrounded her feelings for John and his for her.

She was curious to why he moved into her building complex. Why did he keep those memorabilia of their relationship? He had to have known Natalie would find them…one day. Maybe, he wanted Natalie to find them, but why. No, John doesn’t play games. Sometimes, John doesn’t think ahead. He lives for the moment except for when it comes to his job. Her mind went back to the song as thoughts of Cristian wrapped around her. She knew she cared for Cristian, but she wasn’t in love with him. She didn’t know why she wouldn’t or couldn’t give him her whole heart. John McBain name was whispered in her mind. Tears started to form in her eyes as she stared up at the ceiling. When the hot tears started rolling out of her eyes, she didn’t stop them from falling into her ears.

God, what have I gotten myself into? I buried my feelings for John and fooled myself into believing I was over him. Now, I have Cristian in my life, and I know he loves me completely and unconditionally. Cris has been and is so good to me. How can I crush him?

The tears fell more rapidly as she thought about her life. After a few seconds, she turned and buried her face into her pillow and cried. She knew what her heart wanted to do. She knew what she had to do to answer Michael’s question. She knew what she had to do to be happy.

I don’t know if I can break Cristian’s heart for my happiness. She thought. Natalie broke his heart because she thought John would make her happy. I won’t be another selfish woman in his life. Besides, I have been down that road with John. He couldn’t say he loved me. She felt he did because of his actions, but she needed to hear the words. He couldn’t give her the words. He won’t give her the words. Cristian gives her the words everyday.

Evangeline sat up and shook her head. She has made up her mind. She reached over, turned her radio clock off, and wiped her wet cheeks. “I’m not going to hurt Cristian.”

As she started to climb out of her bed, her landline phone started ringing. Not bothering to check the caller ID, she picked up the phone and answered. “Hello.”

“Evangeline, it’s me John.” When she didn’t respond, he continued. “I-I was wondering if we could have breakfast together.”

“Sure, I think we need to talk.” Evangeline decided. She has made up her mind, and she wanted to make things clear to John. “How about meeting me at Hallowed Grounds…” She glanced at her clock. “In an hour.”

“Okay.” John whispered and waited for the phone to go dead.


Hallowed Grounds

Evangeline sauntered in the coffee shop and scanned the room. She quickly spotted John in a corner booth reading a paper and drinking something. He probably ordered his usual coffee black. She smiled when she remembered he joked about only adding cream at lunch and cream and sugar for dinner. She squared her shoulders and told herself again she could do this. She started to walk towards him, but she stopped abruptly when his sky blue eyes left the paper and darted to her. Immediately, they revealed the pleasure from seeing her. She inhaled and slowly exhaled as she continued towards him. The closer she got the softer his expression became. When she stopped completely in front of him, his eyes were glowing and he was offering her a signature McBain smile. He looked so goofy and like a teenager in love.

“Stop looking at me like that.” She ordered and glanced around the room. Anyone looking on and knew she was with Cristian would think they were lovers. His glaze was one of admiration, adoration, love…and lust. She remembered a time she got lost in that glaze. John always felt you could say a lot without talking, so his eyes were the source for his emotions and thoughts. But, even with that, you only saw what he wanted to reveal. Now, anyone looking at him didn’t have to use their imagination to see where his thoughts and emotions were.

“Like what?” John questioned titling his head and biting his bottom lip, but he didn’t change his expression.

“Like that.” She sat down across from him, pointed at his face, and lowered her voice. “I’m with Cristian.” She gestured between them with her right hand. “You and I are friends.”

John watched as she touched her head and struggled with her confusion. He could see the turmoil on her face…actually in her whole body language.

“I’m sorry.” He leaned forward and whispered. “I didn’t mean to disrespect your relationship.”

Evangeline ran her hand through her hair. She sighed and studied him.

“This is unexplored territory for me. I – I…E-Evangeline…I miss you.” He confessed searching into her eyes. “I’m not trying to confuse you or disrespect your relationship with Cristian.”

“Then what do you call it John?” She gesticulated with her hand and decided to handle this “lawyer like” as both John and Cristian accused her of doing with other situations. She wouldn’t let her heart be apart of this. She was going to use her head. “If telling a woman in a COMMITTED relationship that you miss her, isn’t disrespectful and confusing what is? I mean.” She continued needing to vent and express her feelings about how he allowed Natalie to come between them. “We can use “US” as an example.”

John listened as he silently cursed himself for opening up this can of worms.

“Did you share with me all the times Natalie kissed you or confessed her feelings for you? Knowing Natalie, I’m sure she did it on more than the occasions you shared with me. Don’t you think that confused you and disrespected your relationship with me.” When he didn’t answer, she knew he agreed, and she became angry at knowing that he didn’t tell her about all the times. Her anger didn’t last but a second. John tried to be very honest with her, so she decided to return the favor now. Hitting the table with her right index finger, she hoped he would get her point finally. “John, you always tried to be honest with me…I appreciate and appreciated that. So, I’m going to be honest with you. I’m not going to disrespect my relationship with what ifs or I haves.”

His only respond was a slight nod.

“I’m committed to Cristian, and he’s committed to me.” She stood.

“Are you happy?” He asked before he could stop himself. It was out there, so he decided to continue. “I see how you look at him, and it’s not like how you use to look at me. I’m wondering if you are really happy or giving everyone what they expect of Evangeline Williamson.”

”I don’t make comparison.” Evangeline answered with one of his signature replies seeing the challenge in his eyes. “And, as far as your latter statement, I don’t have to wonder when it comes to Cristian. He tells me how he feels daily, so I am very happy.”

Her eyes locked with his as he stood and towered over her.

“I asked you before why are the damn words so important to you.” He knew her last statement was a dig towards him, and he didn’t like it. She didn’t belong with Cristian Vega. Before he walked away, he asked. “Have you found the answer yet?”

Evangeline glared at the back of his head until he disappeared out of the door. When he was gone, she sat back down in the seat she had occupied only a few minutes earlier.

“Damn you John McBain.” She whispered as fresh tears formed in her eyes. She inhaled and forced them to stay in place as she closed her eyes. After exhaling, she stood and left.


Rourke’s

Evangeline strolled into the gym and scanned the small area for Cristian. Spotting him at the heavy bag, she studied him as she moved closer. She smiled knowing how focused he was when he trained. She could stand there for fifteen to twenty minutes without him noticing.

Before she could stop herself, her mind went to John’s question. “Why are the words so damn important?” Because she’s a woman, she answered in her mind. Then, her thoughts trailed off to a conversation she had with her Mother.

Lisa: John was awfully quiet on the way over here.

Evangeline: Well, what do you expect after the way this family treated him? I'm embarrassed, mom. I'm surprised he's still here at all.

Lisa: Well, honey, our family -- well, you know they speak their minds.

Evangeline: Why don't you just speak yours? You don't approve.

Lisa: Oh, wait a minute. It is not at all like that.

Evangeline: Look, he's not Dennis, ok? I mean, he doesn't walk around trying to charm everybody. He's not really a big talker. He keeps things inside. But, he's a great guy, mom.

Lisa: He reminds me of somebody else.

Evangeline: Who?

Lisa: Your father.

Evangeline: I don't see the connection.

Lisa: Well, you didn't know him the way that I did. Nobody did. Your dad kept a lot of things inside, too, sweetie.

Evangeline: Dad was just subdued.

Lisa: Uh-uh. Let's face it, your father had a lot of trouble expressing himself. He loved you so much, and you have no idea how proud he was of you.

Evangeline: Yeah. Yeah, I remember my valedictory speech. He was so proud of me that he patted me on the back and said, "good luck."

Lisa: Yes, but you did not see what I saw. You did not see him wipe that tear from his eye with his sleeve while you were up there on that stage. John doesn't express himself. You said so yourself, right? Maybe your relationship with him -- maybe you're trying to take care of some unfinished business, trying to get him to open up the way you couldn't get your father to.

“Hey Babe.” Cristian greeted and kissed her on the lips. “I wasn’t expecting you.” “What…” Evangeline jumped and stepped back. “Cris, I’m sorry.” She composed herself while he laughed at her expense.
“I’m sorry.” He kissed her again. “I shouldn’t have startled you. I knew you were deep in thought. I’ve been staring at you for the last five minutes.”

She studied him while she chewed on her bottom lip. “So, what got you deep in thought?” He arched his right eyebrow for a second then asked with a smile. “Were you thinking of our wedding day?”

“No.” She answered flatly and realized her tone was more harsh than necessary. “I mean…I-I” She ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled. “I was thinking about a conversation I had with my mother. I think…she implied…I’m concerned…”

“Hey, I was just teasing you. I know you think it’s too soon for us to be thinking about marriage.”

Cristian cupped her face still wearing his boxing gloves. His bare hands are huge and made her face seem extremely small when he cupped it, and now with the gloves on, they seemed to swallow her face. “Hey, I have an idea.”

She silently watched and forced her mind not to focus of the strong sweat smell from his gloves. She was relieved when he lowered his hands and placed them at his sides.

“Why don’t you take some additional time off and after the wedding stay and visit with your Mom.” He smiled when he observed a shine in her eyes and frowned when it disappeared.

“I would love to do that Cristian, but if I did, I would miss your first title fight.” She offered him a weak smile.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. If you are worried about your Mom, your mind won’t be with me anyway. Besides, I know how important family is to you.” He grabbed her right hand and placed it over his heart. “And, as long as you are in here, you are with me.”

“You are so wonderful. It would be nice to visit with my Mother some.” She stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you for putting me first.”

“Well, I decided to put you first where Natalie is concerned too.” Cristian locked eyes with her. “I told her I couldn’t be her friend.”
“Cris…”

“I know I didn’t have to, but I don’t want anything coming between us. I love you.” His smile faded when she didn’t return the words, but instead her eyes started to water. “I…I wanted you to know.”
“Thank you.”

Evangeline said not knowing what else to say. The silent was broken when her cell phone started ringing. She smiled weakly then fished it out of her purse. Checking the caller ID, she looked at him. “I need to take this.”

“Okay.” Cristian nodded confuse as he watched her open her razor phone.

“Evangeline Williamson…Hi, Morris, I’ve been expecting your call…Yes, I got the sheet music you faxed over to me. I’ve been practicing…

Darius has booked Capricorn for a couple of hours, so we will be rehearsing there…Okay…Okay…Well, tell Darius and Yvonne I will meet you all there in thirty minutes…

Again the night of the wedding rehearsal sounds perfect to me…Okay. Okay…I think, they did a wonderful job on the selection too…Okay…See you then.”

She closed her cell phone and offered her lover an apologetic smile. “I have to go. That was Morris, one of Darius’s friends. He’s going to do a duet with me, and he’s on a tight schedule.”

“No problem…I’ll see you when I get finish.” He stated. “Oh…I can’t. I promised Vincent I will take care of something…and it will probably take all night.”

“Okay…I need to pack tonight anyway. Yvonne and I are leaving tomorrow.” Cristian just nodded. “Hey, I don’t need any extra time with my Mom, so after the wedding I’ll come home with you.”

“I’ll be fine Evangeline.” Cristian offered her a smile. “I’m being a big kid…besides, I’ll have you for the rest of my life…Right?”

“Cris, I will always be your little Tiger.” She kissed him on the cheek again, turned, and walked off before he could kiss her on the lips. She knew he was watching her as she left.

Later that night at Evangeline’s Apartment

Evangeline was packing and singing along with the CD she was playing. She was practicing the solo her cousin wanted her to sing at the wedding rehearsal dinner. Yvonne wants to surprise Darius with the sweet lyrics of Selena’s “Dreaming of You”.

Evangeline thought it was silly at first, but her mind quickly changed as she listened to and learned the words of the song. It was a very beautiful song.

Actually, all the songs they had chosen were beautiful. For the processional Darius wants Morris to sing Jaheim’s “Forever”. For the unity candle lighting, they agreed on Morris and her singing Beyonce and Marc Anothony’s, “After All Is Said and Done.” And for the recessional, instead of her singing another solo, Layla will sing Shania Twain’s “From This Moment On.”

Focusing back on the song playing in her apartment, she couldn’t help thinking about John. As she folded another shirt and sang in sync with the track, she allowed the song to get really personal. She knew she should force herself to stop, but thoughts of him were flooding her mind. She couldn’t believe how strong they were. She closed her eyes and allowed the words to take life. “Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight, Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight, And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be Then here in my room, Dreaming about you and me”

The knocking on the door finally snapped her out of her aydreaming. She placed the pants she was folding on the couch and walked to the door. She assumed it was Layla or Yvonne, so she didn’t bother asking whom it was. They were notorious for losing their keys. When the door was completely opened and revealed John, she wished she hadn’t assumed.

Their eyes were locked as Selena sang, “I just wanna hold you close, But so far, all I have are dreams of you, So, I wait for the day and the courage to say, How much I love you (Yes, I do)”

Evangeline saw the emotions in John’s eyes and stepped back. “I-I t-thought…I thought you were Layla or Yvonne.” She turned and covered her chest then mouth. The same raw emotions she saw at the bridal shop was in his eyes now. She was trying to think but her mind was on overload with Selena’s lyrics and John’s intense eyes. She could still feel him staring at her. She rushed over to the couch to find the remote control for her stereo system. Once she found it, she pointed it towards the system and ended the music. She exhaled, gained her composure, and turned slowly to face her ex-lover.

“What can I do for you John?” She asked not in a very cordial tone. “It’s late.”

“I thought Layla moved out.” John asked innocently.

“John, I’m sure you didn’t come here to find out about Layla’s living arrangements.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at him. “What do you want?”

John shoved his hands into his pockets and closed his eyes as he silently prayed for courage. He didn’t want to mess this up. He called his father’s old partner, Pete earlier, and the retired cop was able to offer him some words of wisdom. He also informed him that his father would have found the nearest Catholic church and talked to the priest. He wasn’t ready for that, but he knew good advice when he heard it. And, right now, Evangeline was the closest thing to the saints for him.

“Why are…” Evangeline started. She was tired and didn’t feel like dealing with John and his non-verbalizing incapability.

“I’m sorry.” He cut her off as he opened up his eyes and stared into her shocked ones. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“What?” She asked her surprise quickly turning into confusion.

“May I come in?” He asked realizing he was still standing in the doorway and in earshot of anyone walking in the hall.

“Yes.” Evangeline watched as he stepped in and closed the door behind him.

“I messed up with you…” He started.

“John, please.” She threw her right hand up to stop him. “All this has been said.”

“No.” He said directly. “I never took ownership of hurting you or misleading Natalie. I should have stopped it along time ago, and I didn’t because I was a coward. You were…are the most wonderful thing I’ve seen in all my life.”

Evangeline turned, walked over to her opened suitcase, and listened.

“You were right earlier…at Hallowed Grounds. I used Natalie to drive you away. I felt…feel you deserve better than me.” When she glanced up, he continued. “I want to see myself the way you see me…I do…I want to offer you everything that I have inside…I’m not sure how.”

Evangeline studied him quietly as he looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

“I’m not trying to disrespect your relationship with Vega. I just…I just want…I-I want to talk…you know…with a friend.” He sighed again then looked at her. “I’m so screwed up. I want to get help…I tried five times to call Dr. Crosby today, but something won’t let me dial the damn numbers.” When he saw her look away, he cursed himself. “I see you are busy, so I will let you go.”

John turned and started for the door.

“No, John.” Evangeline sighed then continued. “I offered…I told you if you ever needed to talk.”

“I’m not good at it.” He mumbled.

“You don’t want to be good at it.” She countered. “It’s really not that hard John. You open your mouth and let words come out…it’s easy.”

“When I’m around you, the right words never seem to come out.” He confessed. “It seems I…I always say the wrong thing.”

“I don’t think so.” Evangeline revealed as she gestured for him to sit on the couch. “You just make it complicated…That’s you…I guess…you wouldn’t be John McBain if you didn’t”

“Yeah.” John stared at the couch, looked at her, and sighed. “Hey, it’s getting late. Let me take a rain check…again.”

“Okay.” Evangeline slowly started walking towards the door. She stopped in front of him and ran her hand through her hair.

They stood quiet for a few seconds and stared into each other eyes. They both searched for answers to unspoken questions between them.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered as he gently caressed her left cheek with the back of his right hand.

She gasped remembering the words she read in his diary. Why did she need to hear the words? She silently asked herself. She saw it in his eyes when he looked at her. He showed it in his actions. Why did she need John McBain to say the words?

“I have to finish packing.” She walked passed him to the door and opened it.

John inhaled and exhaled then turned around and walked out the door. Before she closed it behind him, he looked back into her confused eyes. He knew she still loved him, but she wasn’t going to take the chance of falling hard again. Next time around, he would have to give her everything he had inside of him. He wondered if she had changed her mind about marriage, and before he realized it, he had asked her.

“I-I haven’t…I haven’t really thought about it.” She stuttered shocked by his question.

“See you later.”

“Okay.” Evangeline watched as her ex walked away from her door and to the elevator.

Evangeline groaned as she heard the music from her alarm radio. She slowly allowed the words to the song to sink into her mind. She quickly recognized Cassandra Wilson’s voice and her version of “Time After Time”. Her thoughts surrounded her feelings for John and his for her.

She was curious to why he moved into her building complex. Why did he keep those memorabilia of their relationship? He had to have known Natalie would find them…one day. Maybe, he wanted Natalie to find them, but why. No, John doesn’t play games. Sometimes, John doesn’t think ahead. He lives for the moment except for when it comes to his job. Her mind went back to the song as thoughts of Cristian wrapped around her. She knew she cared for Cristian, but she wasn’t in love with him. She didn’t know why she wouldn’t or couldn’t give him her whole heart. John McBain name was whispered in her mind. Tears started to form in her eyes as she stared up at the ceiling. When the hot tears started rolling out of her eyes, she didn’t stop them from falling into her ears.

God, what have I gotten myself into? I buried my feelings for John and fooled myself into believing I was over him. Now, I have Cristian in my life, and I know he loves me completely and unconditionally. Cris has been and is so good to me. How can I crush him?

The tears fell more rapidly as she thought about her life. After a few seconds, she turned and buried her face into her pillow and cried. She knew what her heart wanted to do. She knew what she had to do to answer Michael’s question. She knew what she had to do to be happy.

I don’t know if I can break Cristian’s heart for my happiness. She thought. Natalie broke his heart because she thought John would make her happy. I won’t be another selfish woman in his life. Besides, I have been down that road with John. He couldn’t say he loved me. She felt he did because of his actions, but she needed to hear the words. He couldn’t give her the words. He won’t give her the words. Cristian gives her the words everyday.

Evangeline sat up and shook her head. She has made up her mind. She reached over, turned her radio clock off, and wiped her wet cheeks. “I’m not going to hurt Cristian.”

As she started to climb out of her bed, her landline phone started ringing. Not bothering to check the caller ID, she picked up the phone and answered. “Hello.”

“Evangeline, it’s me John.” When she didn’t respond, he continued. “I-I was wondering if we could have breakfast together.”

“Sure, I think we need to talk.” Evangeline decided. She has made up her mind, and she wanted to make things clear to John. “How about meeting me at Hallowed Grounds…” She glanced at her clock. “In an hour.”

“Okay.” John whispered and waited for the phone to go dead.


Hallowed Grounds

Evangeline sauntered in the coffee shop and scanned the room. She quickly spotted John in a corner booth reading a paper and drinking something. He probably ordered his usual coffee black. She smiled when she remembered he joked about only adding cream at lunch and cream and sugar for dinner. She squared her shoulders and told herself again she could do this. She started to walk towards him, but she stopped abruptly when his sky blue eyes left the paper and darted to her. Immediately, they revealed the pleasure from seeing her. She inhaled and slowly exhaled as she continued towards him. The closer she got the softer his expression became. When she stopped completely in front of him, his eyes were glowing and he was offering her a signature McBain smile. He looked so goofy and like a teenager in love.

“Stop looking at me like that.” She ordered and glanced around the room. Anyone looking on and knew she was with Cristian would think they were lovers. His glaze was one of admiration, adoration, love…and lust. She remembered a time she got lost in that glaze. John always felt you could say a lot without talking, so his eyes were the source for his emotions and thoughts. But, even with that, you only saw what he wanted to reveal. Now, anyone looking at him didn’t have to use their imagination to see where his thoughts and emotions were.

“Like what?” John questioned titling his head and biting his bottom lip, but he didn’t change his expression.

“Like that.” She sat down across from him, pointed at his face, and lowered her voice. “I’m with Cristian.” She gestured between them with her right hand. “You and I are friends.”

John watched as she touched her head and struggled with her confusion. He could see the turmoil on her face…actually in her whole body language.

“I’m sorry.” He leaned forward and whispered. “I didn’t mean to disrespect your relationship.”

Evangeline ran her hand through her hair. She sighed and studied him.

“This is unexplored territory for me. I – I…E-Evangeline…I miss you.” He confessed searching into her eyes. “I’m not trying to confuse you or disrespect your relationship with Cristian.”

“Then what do you call it John?” She gesticulated with her hand and decided to handle this “lawyer like” as both John and Cristian accused her of doing with other situations. She wouldn’t let her heart be apart of this. She was going to use her head. “If telling a woman in a COMMITTED relationship that you miss her, isn’t disrespectful and confusing what is? I mean.” She continued needing to vent and express her feelings about how he allowed Natalie to come between them. “We can use “US” as an example.”

John listened as he silently cursed himself for opening up this can of worms.

“Did you share with me all the times Natalie kissed you or confessed her feelings for you? Knowing Natalie, I’m sure she did it on more than the occasions you shared with me. Don’t you think that confused you and disrespected your relationship with me.” When he didn’t answer, she knew he agreed, and she became angry at knowing that he didn’t tell her about all the times. Her anger didn’t last but a second. John tried to be very honest with her, so she decided to return the favor now. Hitting the table with her right index finger, she hoped he would get her point finally. “John, you always tried to be honest with me…I appreciate and appreciated that. So, I’m going to be honest with you. I’m not going to disrespect my relationship with what ifs or I haves.”

His only respond was a slight nod.

“I’m committed to Cristian, and he’s committed to me.” She stood.

“Are you happy?” He asked before he could stop himself. It was out there, so he decided to continue. “I see how you look at him, and it’s not like how you use to look at me. I’m wondering if you are really happy or giving everyone what they expect of Evangeline Williamson.”

”I don’t make comparison.” Evangeline answered with one of his signature replies seeing the challenge in his eyes. “And, as far as your latter statement, I don’t have to wonder when it comes to Cristian. He tells me how he feels daily, so I am very happy.”

Her eyes locked with his as he stood and towered over her.

“I asked you before why are the damn words so important to you.” He knew her last statement was a dig towards him, and he didn’t like it. She didn’t belong with Cristian Vega. Before he walked away, he asked. “Have you found the answer yet?”

Evangeline glared at the back of his head until he disappeared out of the door. When he was gone, she sat back down in the seat she had occupied only a few minutes earlier.

“Damn you John McBain.” She whispered as fresh tears formed in her eyes. She inhaled and forced them to stay in place as she closed her eyes. After exhaling, she stood and left.


Rourke’s

Evangeline strolled into the gym and scanned the small area for Cristian. Spotting him at the heavy bag, she studied him as she moved closer. She smiled knowing how focused he was when he trained. She could stand there for fifteen to twenty minutes without him noticing.

Before she could stop herself, her mind went to John’s question. “Why are the words so damn important?” Because she’s a woman, she answered in her mind. Then, her thoughts trailed off to a conversation she had with her Mother.

Lisa: John was awfully quiet on the way over here.

Evangeline: Well, what do you expect after the way this family treated him? I'm embarrassed, mom. I'm surprised he's still here at all.

Lisa: Well, honey, our family -- well, you know they speak their minds.

Evangeline: Why don't you just speak yours? You don't approve.

Lisa: Oh, wait a minute. It is not at all like that.

Evangeline: Look, he's not Dennis, ok? I mean, he doesn't walk around trying to charm everybody. He's not really a big talker. He keeps things inside. But, he's a great guy, mom.

Lisa: He reminds me of somebody else.

Evangeline: Who?

Lisa: Your father.

Evangeline: I don't see the connection.

Lisa: Well, you didn't know him the way that I did. Nobody did. Your dad kept a lot of things inside, too, sweetie.

Evangeline: Dad was just subdued.

Lisa: Uh-uh. Let's face it, your father had a lot of trouble expressing himself. He loved you so much, and you have no idea how proud he was of you.

Evangeline: Yeah. Yeah, I remember my valedictory speech. He was so proud of me that he patted me on the back and said, "good luck."

Lisa: Yes, but you did not see what I saw. You did not see him wipe that tear from his eye with his sleeve while you were up there on that stage. John doesn't express himself. You said so yourself, right? Maybe your relationship with him -- maybe you're trying to take care of some unfinished business, trying to get him to open up the way you couldn't get your father to.

“Hey Babe.” Cristian greeted and kissed her on the lips. “I wasn’t expecting you.” “What…” Evangeline jumped and stepped back. “Cris, I’m sorry.” She composed herself while he laughed at her expense.
“I’m sorry.” He kissed her again. “I shouldn’t have startled you. I knew you were deep in thought. I’ve been staring at you for the last five minutes.”

She studied him while she chewed on her bottom lip. “So, what got you deep in thought?” He arched his right eyebrow for a second then asked with a smile. “Were you thinking of our wedding day?”

“No.” She answered flatly and realized her tone was more harsh than necessary. “I mean…I-I” She ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled. “I was thinking about a conversation I had with my mother. I think…she implied…I’m concerned…”

“Hey, I was just teasing you. I know you think it’s too soon for us to be thinking about marriage.”

Cristian cupped her face still wearing his boxing gloves. His bare hands are huge and made her face seem extremely small when he cupped it, and now with the gloves on, they seemed to swallow her face. “Hey, I have an idea.”

She silently watched and forced her mind not to focus of the strong sweat smell from his gloves. She was relieved when he lowered his hands and placed them at his sides.

“Why don’t you take some additional time off and after the wedding stay and visit with your Mom.” He smiled when he observed a shine in her eyes and frowned when it disappeared.

“I would love to do that Cristian, but if I did, I would miss your first title fight.” She offered him a weak smile.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. If you are worried about your Mom, your mind won’t be with me anyway. Besides, I know how important family is to you.” He grabbed her right hand and placed it over his heart. “And, as long as you are in here, you are with me.”

“You are so wonderful. It would be nice to visit with my Mother some.” She stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you for putting me first.”

“Well, I decided to put you first where Natalie is concerned too.” Cristian locked eyes with her. “I told her I couldn’t be her friend.”
“Cris…”

“I know I didn’t have to, but I don’t want anything coming between us. I love you.” His smile faded when she didn’t return the words, but instead her eyes started to water. “I…I wanted you to know.”
“Thank you.”

Evangeline said not knowing what else to say. The silent was broken when her cell phone started ringing. She smiled weakly then fished it out of her purse. Checking the caller ID, she looked at him. “I need to take this.”

“Okay.” Cristian nodded confuse as he watched her open her razor phone.

“Evangeline Williamson…Hi, Morris, I’ve been expecting your call…Yes, I got the sheet music you faxed over to me. I’ve been practicing…

Darius has booked Capricorn for a couple of hours, so we will be rehearsing there…Okay…Okay…Well, tell Darius and Yvonne I will meet you all there in thirty minutes…

Again the night of the wedding rehearsal sounds perfect to me…Okay. Okay…I think, they did a wonderful job on the selection too…Okay…See you then.”

She closed her cell phone and offered her lover an apologetic smile. “I have to go. That was Morris, one of Darius’s friends. He’s going to do a duet with me, and he’s on a tight schedule.”

“No problem…I’ll see you when I get finish.” He stated. “Oh…I can’t. I promised Vincent I will take care of something…and it will probably take all night.”

“Okay…I need to pack tonight anyway. Yvonne and I are leaving tomorrow.” Cristian just nodded. “Hey, I don’t need any extra time with my Mom, so after the wedding I’ll come home with you.”

“I’ll be fine Evangeline.” Cristian offered her a smile. “I’m being a big kid…besides, I’ll have you for the rest of my life…Right?”

“Cris, I will always be your little Tiger.” She kissed him on the cheek again, turned, and walked off before he could kiss her on the lips. She knew he was watching her as she left.

Later that night at Evangeline’s Apartment

Evangeline was packing and singing along with the CD she was playing. She was practicing the solo her cousin wanted her to sing at the wedding rehearsal dinner. Yvonne wants to surprise Darius with the sweet lyrics of Selena’s “Dreaming of You”.

Evangeline thought it was silly at first, but her mind quickly changed as she listened to and learned the words of the song. It was a very beautiful song.

Actually, all the songs they had chosen were beautiful. For the processional Darius wants Morris to sing Jaheim’s “Forever”. For the unity candle lighting, they agreed on Morris and her singing Beyonce and Marc Anothony’s, “After All Is Said and Done.” And for the recessional, instead of her singing another solo, Layla will sing Shania Twain’s “From This Moment On.”

Focusing back on the song playing in her apartment, she couldn’t help thinking about John. As she folded another shirt and sang in sync with the track, she allowed the song to get really personal. She knew she should force herself to stop, but thoughts of him were flooding her mind. She couldn’t believe how strong they were. She closed her eyes and allowed the words to take life. “Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight, Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight, And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be Then here in my room, Dreaming about you and me”

The knocking on the door finally snapped her out of her aydreaming. She placed the pants she was folding on the couch and walked to the door. She assumed it was Layla or Yvonne, so she didn’t bother asking whom it was. They were notorious for losing their keys. When the door was completely opened and revealed John, she wished she hadn’t assumed.

Their eyes were locked as Selena sang, “I just wanna hold you close, But so far, all I have are dreams of you, So, I wait for the day and the courage to say, How much I love you (Yes, I do)”

Evangeline saw the emotions in John’s eyes and stepped back. “I-I t-thought…I thought you were Layla or Yvonne.” She turned and covered her chest then mouth. The same raw emotions she saw at the bridal shop was in his eyes now. She was trying to think but her mind was on overload with Selena’s lyrics and John’s intense eyes. She could still feel him staring at her. She rushed over to the couch to find the remote control for her stereo system. Once she found it, she pointed it towards the system and ended the music. She exhaled, gained her composure, and turned slowly to face her ex-lover.

“What can I do for you John?” She asked not in a very cordial tone. “It’s late.”

“I thought Layla moved out.” John asked innocently.

“John, I’m sure you didn’t come here to find out about Layla’s living arrangements.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at him. “What do you want?”

John shoved his hands into his pockets and closed his eyes as he silently prayed for courage. He didn’t want to mess this up. He called his father’s old partner, Pete earlier, and the retired cop was able to offer him some words of wisdom. He also informed him that his father would have found the nearest Catholic church and talked to the priest. He wasn’t ready for that, but he knew good advice when he heard it. And, right now, Evangeline was the closest thing to the saints for him.

“Why are…” Evangeline started. She was tired and didn’t feel like dealing with John and his non-verbalizing incapability.

“I’m sorry.” He cut her off as he opened up his eyes and stared into her shocked ones. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“What?” She asked her surprise quickly turning into confusion.

“May I come in?” He asked realizing he was still standing in the doorway and in earshot of anyone walking in the hall.

“Yes.” Evangeline watched as he stepped in and closed the door behind him.

“I messed up with you…” He started.

“John, please.” She threw her right hand up to stop him. “All this has been said.”

“No.” He said directly. “I never took ownership of hurting you or misleading Natalie. I should have stopped it along time ago, and I didn’t because I was a coward. You were…are the most wonderful thing I’ve seen in all my life.”

Evangeline turned, walked over to her opened suitcase, and listened.

“You were right earlier…at Hallowed Grounds. I used Natalie to drive you away. I felt…feel you deserve better than me.” When she glanced up, he continued. “I want to see myself the way you see me…I do…I want to offer you everything that I have inside…I’m not sure how.”

Evangeline studied him quietly as he looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

“I’m not trying to disrespect your relationship with Vega. I just…I just want…I-I want to talk…you know…with a friend.” He sighed again then looked at her. “I’m so screwed up. I want to get help…I tried five times to call Dr. Crosby today, but something won’t let me dial the damn numbers.” When he saw her look away, he cursed himself. “I see you are busy, so I will let you go.”

John turned and started for the door.

“No, John.” Evangeline sighed then continued. “I offered…I told you if you ever needed to talk.”

“I’m not good at it.” He mumbled.

“You don’t want to be good at it.” She countered. “It’s really not that hard John. You open your mouth and let words come out…it’s easy.”

“When I’m around you, the right words never seem to come out.” He confessed. “It seems I…I always say the wrong thing.”

“I don’t think so.” Evangeline revealed as she gestured for him to sit on the couch. “You just make it complicated…That’s you…I guess…you wouldn’t be John McBain if you didn’t”

“Yeah.” John stared at the couch, looked at her, and sighed. “Hey, it’s getting late. Let me take a rain check…again.”

“Okay.” Evangeline slowly started walking towards the door. She stopped in front of him and ran her hand through her hair.

They stood quiet for a few seconds and stared into each other eyes. They both searched for answers to unspoken questions between them.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered as he gently caressed her left cheek with the back of his right hand.

She gasped remembering the words she read in his diary. Why did she need to hear the words? She silently asked herself. She saw it in his eyes when he looked at her. He showed it in his actions. Why did she need John McBain to say the words?

“I have to finish packing.” She walked passed him to the door and opened it.

John inhaled and exhaled then turned around and walked out the door. Before she closed it behind him, he looked back into her confused eyes. He knew she still loved him, but she wasn’t going to take the chance of falling hard again. Next time around, he would have to give her everything he had inside of him. He wondered if she had changed her mind about marriage, and before he realized it, he had asked her.

“I-I haven’t…I haven’t really thought about it.” She stuttered shocked by his question.

“See you later.”

“Okay.” Evangeline watched as her ex walked away from her door and to the elevator.

Evangeline was sitting on her Mother’s porch swing reminiscing over the last 24 hours. Darius Tate went all out to make sure her cousin had a fairy tale wedding. She smiled as she allowed her fingers to trace the outline of the paper plate she was holding. She had grabbed a slice of the five-tiered traditional white wedding cake overlaid with a gold-leaf design and embellished with clusters of sugar flowers and berries. The roses on the cake were the same color as her flaming maid of honor gown. She also took a slice of the groom’s cake. Which was a two-tiered chocolate and vanilla cake topped with rolled chocolate fondant.

The wedding party started the unforgettable day at a full service aesthetics day spa. The partners at Darius’s law firm paid for the place for the full day. Everyone, male and female, who took part of the wedding party, was pampered. The first part of the morning Darius and Yvonne paired together to start their journal for a total body relaxation and rejuvenation with a Swedish massage. Which made all the other guys want to pair off with a bridesmaid. John and Evangeline found themselves sharing the experience together. And, she was very uncomforting warranting her masseuse to mention several times that she needed to relax. She couldn’t help notice her sister didn’t have a problem being partner with Morris.

For the Milk and Honey Body treatment, Mothers and daughters shared in the moment together while the father of the bride, groom, and the groom’s party bonded. Yvonne was sure her father was going to drive all the males away. Clay Williamson could be overly protective, and it drove all the females in his life crazy.

Three hours before the wedding Yvonne, Evangeline, and Layla were separated from the rest of the wedding party to be pampered by four women apiece. The ladies were indulged in a royal treatment. Each lady had her own personal stylist, manicurist, pedicurist, and a person to do their facial. Yvonne told the girls that she and Darius wanted this to feel like their special day as well.

John was the only person from the entire wedding party who refused to partake of the manicure, pedicure, and facial experience. So, to pass time while he waited on the others, he enjoyed another Swedish massage since he really didn’t enjoy the first one. Both he and Evangeline were uncomfortable being paired together and for different reasons. Also, he enjoyed a light lunch and movie.

Evangeline smiled when she recalled the comments of the flower girls and junior bridesmaids. She was checking on the girls and making sure they were behaving. They surely didn’t know she was listening because they were boasting on how they couldn’t wait to tell their friends of the celebrity treatment they were receiving. She knew their mothers wouldn’t approve, but she related to how they felt.

This was turning out to be a miraculous day. She found herself wondering if her own wedding would be like this. No, John would never make that much fuss. She quickly rebuked the thought and wondered why she hadn’t thought about Cristian. After that moment, she avoided John when she could, because she didn’t want to appear antsy in his presence.

She started to run her hand through her hair, but she stopped when she touched the top of her head. Yvonne decided to have her wear a half up half down modern Bohemian style. The relaxed bouncing corkscrew curls were pulled into a high ponytail with loose ends that fell freely from the sparkling cincher. The style was very flattering. As was Layla’s who her cousin chose a beach casual style for. Her smile widened as she remembered how beautiful her baby sister looked with her long wavy jet-black hair pulled loosely back from her face. One day, Layla would make a beautiful bride herself.

Yvonne succeeded in making both Williamson sisters feel like princesses today, but she was truly the vision of a Queen. The wedding was like a fairy tale. It was filled with so much beauty, love, and magic. On more than one occasion she found herself staring uneasily into John’s sapphire eyes. And, every time, they went to an unspoken intimate, supernatural place. When he finally asked her to dance, she feared being in his arms and politely declined. Her focus afterwards remained on her baby cousin and sister.

Yvonne was a vision with her off the shoulder satin a-line custom made wedding gown. Every detail of the dress revealed her cousin’s eye for detail, fashion, and creativity down to the chapel train. For her hair she went with an up-do and gleaming tiara to finish it off.

Darius had an exquisite Tiffany Voile three row necklace and bracelet sent to her private spa room they dressed in. He had included a note that said; “Your Mother said she was giving you her pearl earrings for something old. Here is your something new to go along with it. You are priceless. I can’t wait to start my life with you. I love you my Queen, Darius.”

Evangeline was sure the jewelry was more for Uncle Clay benefit than Yvonne. From the couple of weeks she has spent with the bride and groom, they were deeply in love. If Darius had gotten her cousin a Cracker Jacks necklace, she would have worn it with the same pride. It was a miracle that Darius broke through Yvonne’s fear of marriage. Yvonne felt just as…if not more strongly about how a paper commitment ruins things.

When Evangeline heard Layla and her Mother yelling in the house. She glanced over her shoulder to see Layla walking to the kitchen and her mother on her heels. She shook her head and escaped back into her thoughts.

For something blue Layla presented her cousin with a blue and white lace and satin garter that she made. It was lovely and their cousin loved it. She especially loved how her baby cousin added a rhinestone heart pendant and blue and white ribbon bows. For something borrowed, Evangeline lent her a gold beaded and heart anklet that her late father gave her. She knew her cousin saw her father as more than just an uncle. He was like a second father to her.

Evangeline thoughts went to the reception. Everything was beautiful and decorated for a King and Queen’s unity, but the most memorable for her was when John McBain stood and demanded everyone’s attention. She was taken aback when he announced he had a poem rather than the traditional toast in honor of the bride and groom. He joked that he wasn’t big on speeches, but it was a duty he couldn’t get out of. The crowd laughed when he confessed he even tried to pay one of the other guys to give it. She was the only one who didn’t join in. She knew how much he hated public speaking especially ones of a personal nature. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. A part of her was angry that he put himself out there for her cousin and his friend, but he wouldn’t for her. She was doubly surprised when he didn’t pull out a piece of paper instead he recited the poem by memory. He stared at her as though he was speaking the meaning of the words to her.

During his recital, Evangeline wondered again what a wedding with John would be like. He wouldn’t want a big wedding like this or would he. She never thought he would recite a poem, but here he was doing it. Was John finally trying to change? Was this about him or was this just out of loyalty for his old friend? John was very big on loyalty. For the first time she wondered how John was with Caitlin. This poem revealed how he cherished and valued the commitment and importance of marriage. His eyes revealed that he did want to get married, even though, he once told her he wasn’t ready for it. She was being silly. Anyone presence today would entertain the thought of marriage. She was even moved by the emotions filling the room. After today, neither she nor John would be thinking about marriage.

When she heard a car pull up, her mind quickly snapped out of recent past events. She blinked a couple of times when she noticed it was John getting out of the car. She questioned in her mind what he was doing there. She thought he was headed back to Llanview. Standing, she placed her wrapped cake on the bench and stepped to the edge of the porch. She glanced over her shoulders before asking him why he was here. She could faintly hear her Mother and Layla still arguing, so she knew they wouldn’t be interrupted.

“I’m doing my final duty as best man.” He replied handing her three boxes. Two were rectangular shape while the third was square. “The square one is for you from me…” He paused waiting for a reaction. When he didn’t get one, he continued. “The other two is from Darius…One for you and on for Layla. They are thank you gifts.”

“Why would you get me a gift?” She asked softly studying him intently.

“I read in the Best Man Handbook that it was customary for him to give the Maid of Honor a gift.” John teased offering his signature goofy smile. She still had a puzzle expression on her face.

“There is no Best Man Handbook.” Evangeline replied seriously then asked again. “Why are you giving me a gift?”

“It’s not the end of the world, Evangeline.” He offered and gestured with his hands. “It didn’t cost me anything…and I think it’s something I owe you…I need for you to know some things…”

“I’m with Cristian.” She whispered as she looked down at the square box and wondered what John could have given her. She allowed his recent words to replay in her mind.

“I know. I know.” John said irritated. He sighed and asked what he had been wondering all night. “What happened to him? I thought he was supposed to be coming to the wedding.”

Evangeline glared at him and squared her shoulders. “Not that it’s any of your business, but he and Vincent got a flat tire. When they finally got it fixed, they got stuck in traffic because of a car accident.”

John nodded his head and she continued.

“They wouldn’t have made it in time for the wedding, and Cristian wasn’t going to be able to stay for the reception anyway because of his training. So, I told him not to worry about it, and I will see him in a week.” She regretted her last statement as soon as it came out.

“A week?” He questioned with concern. “Is everything okay?”

Evangeline didn’t answer but simply stared at him.

“Is everything okay with your Mom?” John observed her as she remained quiet and stared at him. “You’re confused…you’re questioning if you really love Cristian, and you’re taking time for yourself.”

Evangeline gasped at him hitting her emotions right on the nail, but she quickly gained her composure. “I know I love Cristian.” She stated with a gesture using her right index finger.

“But, you’re not in love with him.” He didn’t dare smile on the outside, but he was glowing on the inside.

“My feelings for Cristian are none of your business.” She stated sternly.

“What about your feelings for me?” John decided to test the waters. “Are those any of my business?”

“I…I…” Before she could finish, her mother was at the door informing her that Cristian was on the phone. “Thank you Mother…please let him know I will be right there.”

Evangeline was speechless when her mother invited John inside. Before the wedding, the last time Lisa Williamson saw John Mc Bain, she was far from cordial.

“Thank you Mrs. Williamson.” John’s eyes remained on his ex’s face even though she refused to look at him. “But, I must be going. I have a plane to catch.”

“Oh, business or pleasure.” Lisa asked genuinely. “Silly of me to ask. Evangeline has always said you were a workaholic.”

Lisa didn’t miss the tension between the two adults. “John, you really should take some vacation time. Being a workaholic isn’t healthy for anyone. I tell Cookie…Evangeline that all the time.” Evangeline smiled at her Mom when she wrapped her arms around her. “And, she finally listened. She’s taking a week off to spend some time with me.”

“Well, Ma’am, this trip just happens to be on a personal nature.” Both Evangeline and Lisa turned their attention to the man before them. John didn’t wait for them to ask what he meant. “I’m going to help my grandfather who is ill in Dublin…my brother, Michael is there now, so I’m going to go and relieve him.”

Evangeline searched John’s eyes as he said his next words. “I’m not needed in Llanview right now, but I will know when to come back home.”

John glanced at the square box she was holding then politely said his goodbye. Evangeline’s eyes automatically followed the direction of his.

“Have a safe trip John.” Lisa said ignoring the last exchange between her daughter and John. “Cristian is waiting for you, honey.”

“What?” Evangeline puzzled study her Mom.

“Cristian is on the phone waiting for you.” Lisa glanced out at John pulling out of the driveway as she turned her daughter towards the door.

Later that night

Lisa walked into the living room to find Evangeline sitting at the piano fingering the gift box John dropped off. Both of her daughters opened up Darius’s thank you gift in the kitchen earlier. He had gotten them gold and diamond watches with 3Ws engraved on the back. He included a note saying that he got Yvonne one too because they will always be the three Williamson blessings of the world.

“Has Layla made it home?” Lisa asked straightening a couple of pictures above the fireplace.

Startled, Evangeline slightly pushed the gift box and turned on the bench. “Yes, she called ten minutes ago.”

Lisa watched as her daughter turned back around towards the piano and started playing Selena Dreaming of You. She couldn’t stop the proud parental smile that took over her face as she walked over to join her daughter.

“I remember the day your father said he was going to get you a piano.” Lisa stood beside the piano and watched her daughter. “He took a second job for months and put us on a tight budget to get this piano for you.”

“I’m sorry, Mom.” Evangeline stopped playing and pushed some hair behind her ear. “You and Daddy made so many sacrifices for me and Layla. You two have shown me many times how important it is to put your happiness and dreams on hold for the one you love …I’m sorry…”

“Please Cookie.” Lisa walked over to the other side of the bench and sat beside her daughter. “Your father and I didn’t put our happiness and dreams on hold for you and Layla. You two were our happiness and dreams…I’m still praying your sister finds her calling, but I’m thankful if we took a part in making you a success.”

“Took a part.” Evangeline chuckled returning her mother’s hug. “If it wasn’t for you and Daddy, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

“Your father was very proud of you.” Lisa said caressing her daughter’s shiny black hair. “I’m very proud of you.”

“Mom.” Evangeline started as she pulled away and turned to her only living parent. “Dad was so subdued how did you know he loved you…us?”

Lisa looked at her daughter and smiled. “I knew James. No one knew him like I did.”

“How do you know Dad did all the things he did out of love and not obligation?” Evangeline wondered and finally had the courage to ask. She couldn’t remember the last time her father said he loved her. “Mom, how did you know Dad loved us? I can’t recall the last time he said the words…how do you know he didn’t make sacrifices out of duty…and not love.”

“Because I knew James better than anyone…even his brothers, sisters and Mom didn’t know him like I did.” Lisa stood and walked over to a picture of James Ernest Williamson. “Your father held a lot of things in…except when he prayed…But, I could always tell what he was thinking and feeling without him saying a word…Evangeline, your father loved us more than anything in this world.”

Lisa glanced back at her daughter when she didn’t reply to the last statement. “So…the wedding turned out beautifully.”

“Yes.” Evangeline answered glancing at the box on top of the piano.

“What did John give you?” Lisa turned and focused on her daughter who offered her a puzzled expression. “The gift.” Her mother pointed to the box. “What did John give you?”

“I…I…” Evangeline’s cell phone started ringing. “That could be Cristian.” She hopped off the bench. “I need to talk to him.”

“Okay.” Lisa watched her daughter pick her cell phone up from the coffee table and walked out of the room. She glanced over her at the gift then over her shoulders. Something serious was going on with her Cookie. Her daughter wasn’t sticking around just to visit. She was running but from what?


Four days later

Evangeline was in her room at her Mother’s house packing up things. She was taping up a box when Lisa walked in.

“Cookie, I wish you wouldn’t do this.” Her mother protested as she entered the room with her hands on her hips. “When you come to visit, I want you to have a comfortable place to stay.”

“Mom, you can turn this room into a sewing room, a library…or an exercise room.” Evangeline glanced around her room and gestured with her hands. “I’m tired of visiting and seeing a shrine to my childhood…I’m not that same girl.”

“Cookie, I know, but you and Layla don’t come and visit as often, so I just like the memories.” Lisa picked up the container of tennis balls on the bed. “You know, I haven’t beat you in tennis since you were…what…fifteen or sixteen?”

Evangeline smiled then pretended to be distracted my searching for something. She knew her mother was going to bring up her two wins yesterday on the tennis courts at some point. “I haven’t played in awhile.” She reasoned still pretending to be focused on finding what she was looking for. “My game is a little rusty…that’s all.”

Lisa studied her daughter. Evangeline was at her dresser looking through drawers. She finally took the contents out of the second one and placed them in a near box.

“Sweetheart, you are in wonderful shape…and, if you didn’t play for ten years, you will still be ten times better at the game than me. You have mastered the kick serve and backhand overhead.” Lisa continued when her daughter didn’t acknowledge her statement. “If you didn’t choose law, you could have been the Serena or Venus Williams of the tennis world.”

“I doubt that very seriously, Mom.” Evangeline laughed slightly as she took more items out of her drawer. A statement John had made when they first got together flashed into her mind. He had said she was like the Serena Williams of law. She quickly pushed the memory out of her head. “You and Dad had me believing I could do anything and everything.”

“Cookie, it wasn’t just your father and me who said you could have your pick of careers. From your ballet instructor to your tennis instructor everyone said you could go to the top with your skills…secretively, I know your father was very happy when law won out.”

Evangeline offered her mom a huge smile as she turned to face her. “Yeah, I remember the shine in his eyes after I told him I wanted to be a lawyer. He never said anything, but I knew he wanted me to be a lawyer more than anything.”

“See, your father didn’t have to say words for you to know what he was feeling…since you were a little child you always wanted the approval of your father.” Lisa frowned as she studied her daughter. “I have always wanted to ask. Was law what you really wanted to do Cook…Evangeline?” She corrected seeing her eldest roll her eyes. “Was law for you or just to please your father?”

Evangeline shrugged and walked over to her desk. “Mom, I love being a lawyer…I love winning. I don’t see myself doing anything else…except…” She chewed on her bottom lip for a second before continuing. “Being a mother.”

“Mother?” Lisa questioned surprised. “I’m surprised…Cookie, are you pregnant? Is that why you haven’t been eating and sleeping…and so unfocused?”

Evangeline tried to answer her mother, but Lisa wouldn’t let her get a word in. She watched as her mother placed the tennis balls on the desk and started pacing. She couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m not ready to be a grandmother.” Her mother quickly switched gears onto another issue that made Evangeline frown. “You’re not married…and this man you are supposed to be involved with…Cristian Vega. You barely talk about him with me. Everything I know about him I have found out from Layla…Oh, Baby, this can’t be happening now. I’ve been questioning if Cristian is right for you.”

Lisa didn’t notice her daughter astonishment, so she continued on her thoughts.

“I know after your accident you told me you had fallen in love again…Layla confirms that Cristian is sensitive and treats you like a queen…But, I have been wondering for months now if this is really what you want, and it really doesn’t have anything to do with him not making the wedding…or him not having a real career.”

“Mom, say what you really feel…As far as him not making the wedding, he got a flat tire. And, he’s a boxer…and painter. Those are his careers that is what he loves…what Mom?” Evangeline snapped, getting defensive. “You said you wanted a man for me that will love me the way I deserve to be loved. You wanted a man to love me back…” She ran both of her hands through her hair not ready to deal with this. She didn’t want her mother’s opinion on her love life. “You are the one who told me if a man can’t tell me that he loves me, there is a problem…Cristian tells me every day…several times a day.”

Evangeline grabbed a blow pop out of the bag she had on her desk. She brought a bag when they went shopping after church.

Lisa watched as her daughter opened the lollipop and started licking on it. She smiled inside knowing since childhood that was her child’s way of silently stating she didn’t want to talk about something. She slowly walked over to her oldest child and took the candy from her. She knew this was a big elephant in the room, and she wasn’t going to let her daughter hide from it anymore.

“Cookie, talk to me.” Lisa pleaded. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Mom, you can relax. I’m not pregnant.” Evangeline couldn’t stop the weak smile from creeping onto her face when her mother exhaled with relief. She knew Lisa Williamson wasn’t ready to be a grandmother no more than she was ready to be a mother. “I was late, but my doctor told me I had physically over worked my body. I was training with Cristian and working out on my own too. I’m fine, and my visitor has come and left town.”

Lisa didn’t smile at her daughter’s joke about her monthly cycle. Instead, she embraced and studied her child as she continued to wonder what Evangeline wasn’t telling her.

“Your pregnant scare forced you to realize your true feelings for Cristian?” Evangeline tried to break from her mother’s hold. Lisa didn’t let her go but continued to study her intently. “Well, since you want to quote me, please quote me completely. I said, “As long as my baby is in love with a man who loves her back, that is all I care about. You only gave me half of that statement…you’re not in love with Cristian.”

“Can we just drop this please?” Evangeline stepped out of her mother’s hold and this time Lisa let her go. “I only have three more days before I have to leave, and I have a lot more stuff to pack.”

“Evangeline Ella Williamson, you can pack up this whole house, and it’s still not going to change the truth.” Lisa sighed. “I knew there was something.”

“How is that Mom?” Evangeline asked in a sarcastic tone. “What has big mouth Yvonne and Layla been telling you.”

“I don’t need Layla or Yvonne to tell me when my baby isn’t happy.” Lisa challenged with a glare. Evangeline knew that look and knew she crossed the line with her Mother. “All I need are eyes and ears…you and Cristian have been together for months now.” Lisa walked over to the bed. “Not once did you mention bringing him home, inviting me to visit, expressing you can’t wait for me to meet him or initiating a conversation that included him. Those things alone told me you didn’t think I would approve of him Cookie.”

Evangeline didn’t answer but simply stared at her mother.

“And, I’m not saying you need my approval because you know I will be happy as long as you are…but I wonder if you don’t have your own approval. I’m wondering if you are happy or just settling for the words.”

“I don’t want to hurt Cristian, Mom.” Lisa observed her daughter as she walked over to the window. Evangeline was hugging herself as she stare aimlessly out the window.

“James had some standards for you girls that I thought were a little high.” Lisa waited until her daughter glanced back and their eyes locked. “But, one standard I thank him for teaching you and Layla was never settle. James didn’t raise you to be second…we didn’t raise you to settle.”

Evangeline turned her attention back to the window. Lisa walked over and hugged her daughter from the back.

“Baby, for once take care of Cookie.” Lisa whispered in her child’s ear. “Search your heart and do what is going to please you and make you happy.”

Lisa felt a tear on her hand that was in front of her daughter’s body.

“I am sure Cristian is a wonderful guy, but we can’t force our hearts to feel something.” Lisa kissed her on the back of the head. “You have always been driven by our expectations and dreams for you. Now, I think you need to decide what Evangeline wants…not what someone else expects or wants, but Evangeline.”

Evangeline remained quiet.

“How about I make us some herbal tea?” Lisa didn’t move until Evangeline nodded. “We can have tea and talk about my arts and craft room. You can help me pick out the pictures I’m going to use for Yvonne’s wedding scrapbook.”

“Arts and craft room…Scrapbooks.” Evangeline smiled at her mom. “Mom, I think Layla, Von, and I would rather you have a shrine to my childhood. If you start a scrapbook collection, no one will ever get out of this house with you bragging on us.”

“Cookie, you know, everyone loves my scrapbooks…and I don’t brag too much on you girls. I also have crocheting and needle point projects I can show.”

Evangeline looked around her room then at her Mom. “Okay, if you say so…how about I save the family from Lisa Williamson’s bragging on her ladies, and we turn this room into my guest room. I don’t want the trophies and memorabilia of my childhood…How about a nice decorated room?”

“That sounds like a wonderful compromise.” Lisa walked over and hugged her daughter. “Baby, for once in your life, think about yourself and make you happy.”

Evangeline didn’t say anything but hugged her mother tighter.

*** Spanish phrases were translated using AltaVista Babel Fish Translation. Please excuse if it’s not translated correctly. Thank you.

Cristian’s Loft ~ A Week Later

Knock! Knock!

Knock! Knock!

“Cristian, it’s me Evangeline.” Evangeline stood outside of Cristian’s door and waited patiently for him to answer.

“Hey, Babe.” Cristian greeted as he opened the door. “Why didn’t you use your key?” He kissed her briefly on the lips then presented her with a sexy smile. “I have missed you.”

Evangeline glanced up and down her lover’s bare chest as he stood in front of her wearing only a pair of blue jeans. She has been home a week and have made several excuses to why she couldn’t see him. She realized earlier after talking to her best friend, Nora that she couldn’t postpone breaking up with him any longer.

She found herself staring at his well-defined and muscular abs. Her body heated from the sight. God help me. Evangeline focus! She chastised herself. The last thing she needed was to end up in bed with him. That was one reason she avoided seeing him. She couldn’t deny she loved him or was attracted to him. She just wasn’t in love with him, and she wanted that. She broke up with John because she thought he wasn’t in love with her. She realized what she wanted and didn’t settle for less. She could do this. She had to do this. She offered a weak smile as she walked away from him.

“Why you look so down?” Cristian questioned concern showing on his face as he closed the door. “Did something happen with one of your cases?”

“No, Cristian.” She studied him as she ran her hand through her hair. Her eyes started to water as she accepted the fact she had to end things with him. Her heart was breaking as she thought about destroying his, but she had to do what was right for them. Letting him think they had a future would hurt him more in the long run. “I need to talk to you.”

“You sound serious.” Cristian grabbed his shirt and glanced pass her. “I was actually working on a surprise for you?”

She glimpsed over her shoulder curious to what he was looking at. She turned around completely when she noticed a canvas on his easel mostly covered. She suddenly detected the smell of fresh paint.

“You’re painting something for me?” She inquired as he bypassed her and pressed the white sheet completely down.

“Yeah, I wanted to show you how much I missed you.” He supplied as he turned around and stood protectively in front of it with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “And show you how much you mean to me.”

“Cristian?” She whispered taken aback as she ran her hand through her hair again. She placed her hand on her chest as she wondered how she was going to do this. “I don’t deserve this…I don’t deserve you.”

Evangeline turned and slightly pinched her bottom lip together as she pondered how selfish she was being. She saw the love in his eyes. She wasn’t sure if she could crush him as Natalie did or as John did to her.

“Evangeline, you deserve more than a worthless painting.” He protested walking up behind her. “You deserve the best of everything. That is why I’m going to do everything in my power to be a success. I’m actually glad now that Vincent Jones is my manager. He is working on another title fight for me already.”

“Cristian, you are a wonderful artist. Your paintings will start selling again.” She turned towards him, and he wrapped his arms around her. She knew he felt her tense by the hurt that flashed in his eyes. She forced her body to relax. “I promise…I believe in you.”

“You want to see.” He quickly asked when she started to push out of his embrace.

Evangeline glanced over his shoulder and offered a child like smile as she nodded yes.

“I love you.” Cristian confessed then turned to unveil his new creation.

Evangeline felt another twig of guilt while she watched him remove the white sheet. His work left her breathless as usual as she admired the inspiration. His painting was very detailed except two young children playing in the yard. She glanced at Cristian who was watching her intently then focused back on the painting. The couple sitting on the porch was definitely them. Their characteristics were very distinguished. She allowed her eyes to shift to the two small images. He used a profile angle for the children; however, by observing the picture you could tell they were biracial and one of each sex. The little girl had long curly hair that was in a single ponytail while the boy had short curly hair.

“Well…” Cristian prompted scrutinizing her reaction. “You like it…say something.”

She couldn’t stop the tears from falling down her cheeks, as her words seemed to be trapped in her throat. She glanced between the canvas and him several times while she remained silent.

“This is the first time I remember you being speechless in our relationship.” He teased feeling anxious. “For once I need you to be lawyer like. I need to know what you are thinking.”

Evangeline stared at Cristian for a second as tears continued to flow down her cheeks. She didn’t know how she was going to do this. It was more than obvious in the picture he saw marriage and kids with her. Cristian wanted marriage and children with her, and even though she wanted them one day too, she didn’t see this reality with him.

“I’m sorry…” She finally stammered with her voice cracking. “I’m so sorry, Cristian.” With each word, her heart ached. “I never planned on hurting you. I don’t want to hurt you. When I realized, I thought if I gave it time…if I wanted it bad enough.”

“Evangeline, you’re not making any sense.” Cristian’s brown eyes revealed his fear and acknowledgement although he spoke those words. “What are you saying?”

“It’s not fair to you…or me.” Evangeline sighed as she wiped both of her cheeks and turned from him. He waited silently as she continued. “I’m not sure how to do this…I don’t…”

“Do what?” Cristian asked uneasy. He stared at the back of her head then glanced at the picture. “You don’t like the portrait?”

“Cristian, I love the picture.” She turned around, wiped her cheek again, and pointed to the canvas. “You are an amazing artist. Look at me in your painting.” She stared at the couple in the picture focusing more on her image. “I’m not the woman on that canvas…you made me look like a woman in…”

“In love.” He finished understanding her meaning and feeling his world ending. “You’re saying you’re not in love with me.”

“I’m sorry.” Fresh tears started to run down her cheeks. “I love you, and I never meant to hurt you…” She wiped her nose with her left hand and sniffed. “It wasn’t until recently…I realized I felt this way.”

“McBain?” Cristian shoved his hands into his jean pockets as he glared at her.

“No.” She answered knowing his full meaning. “John doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

“So, you want me to believe you are ending things with me just because you realized you don’t love me…Whatever!” He felt his anger rising. “You know. I though you of all people would tell me the truth and not give me a bunch of bull.”

“Cristian, I am telling you the truth.” Evangeline wiped her cheeks again as she started to get defensive. Why was he calling her a liar? She was trying to be honest and fair to him. She was hurting inside from the pain she was causing him, and now, she felt foolish. “Why would I lie, Cris?”

“Natalie came to see me before she left town.” He stood in front of her and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “She warned me about McBain…told me he broke up with her because he was still in love with you.”

“Cristian, I’m not going to dignify anything Natalie says with an answer.” Evangeline informed sternly. “I’m standing here in front of you telling you how I feel because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“And breaking up with me won’t hurt me?” Cristian stormed passed her and headed towards the stairs. She watched as he ran up the stairs taking them two at a time.

“God help me.” She prayed as she looked towards the ceiling and fresh tears formed in her eyes.

After thirty minutes of debating, Evangeline decided not to leave things like this with him. She walked upstairs and found him sitting on the top step that leads into his bedroom. He glanced back for a second and she saw the redness of his eyes. She froze when realized he had been crying. God help me. She asked again silently as she started crying again. She knew she didn’t owe him an explanation, but she was going to give him one. She walked over and sat down beside him on the step.

“I don’t want to be remembered as the woman who tore your life into tiny little pieces.” Evangeline whispered breaking the silence and studying his profile. “I love you Cristian, but I’m not in love with you.”

He focused on the floor and swallowed hard.

“You’re a fine man…inside and out…I want to give you everything…I wish I felt the same way you did…”

“But, you can’t forced your heart to do something it doesn’t want to?” Cristian supplied and finally met her glaze. “Do you still love McBain?”

“Cris, I will always love both of you for different reasons, but this isn’t about you or John…really.” She stood and walked into his bedroom more. “I need to figure out some things about myself. I spent the majority of my life pleasing and meeting other people’s expectations…I’ve kinda lost sight of my own wants.”

“You want McBain?” Cristian asked and continued when she gave him a “Have you been listening to me look?” “I knew McBain was still in love with you. I saw it everything I saw him looking at you. I felt sorry for Natalie, but I knew you weren’t going to leave me for him…I was wrong.”

“I’m not going back to John.” Evangeline informed believing she was telling the truth. John hasn’t told her how she felt, and she wasn’t getting back involved with John until he could verbalize his feelings to her. “I’m going to focus on me…And, I’m going to take my Mom and sister on a cruise for a week. Then, I think I will take a month off and travel with my Mom. She has always wanted to go to France and Italy.”

“You take a month off.” He snickered. “I would love to see you do that.”

“Well, you will soon.” She smiled, but it disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“You won’t.” Cristian sighed and stood. She watched as he moved towards her. After he stepped into her personal space, he gently caressed her left cheek. “I will always be your friend, because we were friends before we were lovers.”

Evangeline eyes filled with fresh tears.

“I just fell in love…and you didn’t.” He stopped a tear with his thumb before it reached her cheek.


“Cristian Javier Vega, I do love you.” She sniffed as she watched him fight his emotions. “You have been wonderful to me, and you don’t deserve this.”

“Shhh…” He covered her mouth with right index finger. “Evangeline, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my life. So, if that means letting you go…for your happiness…I will.”

Tears ran down both of their cheeks as their eyes locked, and they said silent goodbyes. She knew he wouldn’t go back to Natalie, and he knew if John ever got himself together, she would give him a second chance. They had a connection were words weren’t needed.

“So, how about…” He glanced over at the bed. “You know…one last time…for the road.”

“Tan, no sucediendo.” She laughed as she told him, “So, not happening.” in Spanish. She wiped her cheeks dry then added, “But, I will give you a hug” in Spanish. “Pero, le daré un abrazo.”

“Tuve que intentar.” He answered, “I had to try.” in Spanish as he embraced her.

In each other’s arms, they felt a new beginning; even though, they were ending a love affair.

Two weeks later
“Cristian, I had a wonderful time on the cruise.” Evangeline informed talking on her Mother’s cordless phone. “Since Layla was there, I have plenty of pictures to send to you. I will upload them on my laptop later tonight and send them. Speaking of Layla, she tells me Vincent has started you training for another fight. Isn’t it too soon?”

She was lying on her bed and listening to his updates of Vincent’s new venture for his boxing career. She was happy to hear excitement and hope in his voice. She really thought he would take their break-up bad. A part of her is disappointed he could move on so easily and questioned if he really loved her. She didn’t allow those thoughts to linger long though. They were meant to be friends and nothing more. She knew that now.

“Cris, hold on. Someone is beeping in…. Hello…Hello Vincent…No, Layla hasn’t left yet…Why didn’t you call her on her cell phone…Okay, hold on. I have Cris on the other line.” Evangeline sat up on her bed as she pressed the flash button again to click back over to her first call. “Cristian, I’m going to let you go. Vincent is on the other line, and he wants to talk to Layla…According to him, she’s not answering her cell phone.” She stood and giggled as she thought back to her and Layla’s teenage years. They constantly fought over the phone and who was on it the longest. “Thank you for watching my place while we were on the cruise. Layla can take over when she gets back…Thank you…Mom is so excited about this trip…Okay…Okay…You too…Take care Cristian.”

Evangeline smiled when Cristian called her tiger before he hung up. He was a good man, and she prayed God sends someone wonderful into his life. She clicked back over and told Vincent to hold on again while she went to find Layla. She walked across the hall and peeked into her sister’s room and didn’t see her. She looked back into the hallway, and she realized she hadn’t heard her Mother or sibling since she got on the phone with Cristian. She glanced at her watch and noted that was almost an hour ago. Which for those two Williamson was very uncommon.

“Vincent, I will have Layla call you back.” She informed after placing the cordless back to her ear. Something in her gut was warning her that she wasn’t going to like what she saw when she found her little sister.

“Layla Anisa Williamson, I’m going to kill you!” Evangeline screamed at her sister when she found her in the den sitting on the couch reading John’s diary. She glanced at the coffee table and saw the square box John had given her. It was empty with another long suede jewelry box beside it. She gasped when she recognized his Mother’s pearls.

“Okay, Vange.” Layla started as she slowly placed the journal on the couch beside her and stood as her sister glared at her. “Don’t over react.”

Evangeline cocked her head as she watched the younger Williamson cautiously move from her spot. She stared angrily as Layla reached for a piece of paper beside the pearls.

“Sis, I know I was wrong for reading your letter from John, but…I’m glad I did.” Layla was safely standing behind the couch as she studied her sister. “I couldn’t believe how wrong I was about this guy.”

Evangeline started counting down from twenty as she controlled her temper at her sister’s nosiness. That was the one thing she hated most about her sibling. Every time Layla read her diaries or rummaged through her personal belongings, Evangeline turned into a person unrecognizable to her parents and herself. She focused on the words coming out of her sister’s mouth and couldn’t believe the audacity she had to be reading John’s letter out loud…to her.

Evangeline,

On the night of the Woman of the Year Award ceremony, you told me I should give these to someone I am in love with. I told you that night I gave them to you, but you wouldn’t believe I was in love with you. Now, I’m trying again. The pearls belong with you. Not just because you make them look beautiful, but because I’m in love with you. I have been since we attached those strings.

With all that I have inside,

John

“Vange, if John told you to keep the pearls, “ Layla held the paper to her side and gawked at the older Williamson as though she had two heads. “He was saying he was in love with you. What did you need girl! A sign?”

“Layla, how dare you!” Evangeline barked at her. “You had no right.”

“I had every right.” Layla snapped back. “I have been hating John McBain for you, and the man is hopeless in love with you…I thought he was the idiot. It turns out my sister is the idiot.”

Uncharacteristically and in rage, Evangeline flung the cordless phone in her sister’s direction. Layla ducked and popped back up with her mouth opened.

“You have lost…” Layla screamed but was interrupted by their Mother.

“Evangeline, Layla, what is going on in here?” Lisa asked walking into the room. She surveyed the room and quickly accessed what was occurring. “Oh, Layla, I told you to take Evangeline her gift. Why did you open it?” She chastised in a low disappointed tone.

“Because she is incapable of minding her own business.” Evangeline growled and moved towards her sister. She was startled when Layla hastily put the letter down and picked up the journal. “She has had that disease since she was six years old.”

“Mom, listen to this.” Layla flipped through pages in the journal searching for an entry; she apparently read earlier.

“Layla, stop invading your sister’s privacy this instant.” Lisa demanded trying to make her tone sound stern and not curious. She wanted to know just as bad as her youngest daughter.

“Mom, listen. October 06, 2004. Never have I felt like this before in my life. Evangeline is intoxicating and mesmerizing. I have never met anyone like her. Yesterday, she left a message on my answering machine saying she wanted more. I would make her mine in a heartbeat if I knew she would say yes. Instead, I went Kabbalah on her and tied a piece of string around her sexy slim wrist. When I asked her how it felt…” Layla jumped when she felt the journal snatched out of her hands. “Hey!”

“Layla, you had no right.” Evangeline pointed in her sister’s face as she held the journal and resisted slapping her. She didn’t understand why she was so furious with her sister. This was a typical Layla move. She inhaled, exhaled, and stared into her sister’s beautiful face. She wasn’t angry with her sister, but at the fact she now had to deal with her feelings for John. She felt as long as the gift box stayed closed, her feelings for John stayed where she was comfortable and in control.

“Vange, I had every right.” Layla stepped to her sister and prayed her gut was leading her right. She came to the same realization her big sister came to about her sibling’s feelings. “You’re not angry because I read your private letter or John’s diary. You’re angry because now you have to face your feelings for the man.”

“You are unbelievable,” Evangeline shook her head as she examined her sister and didn’t see a trace of remorse on her face. “Layla.”

“John loves you.” Layla confronted cutting her off. “He’s in love with you. Now, I understand all the weird stares and uneasiness around you. The man is in love with you and can’t have you.”

“Layla, I know this is going to be hard for you to do, BUT STAY OUT OF IT!” Evangeline spun around and stormed out of the room.

Lisa and Layla stared at each other then watched as Evangeline marched back into the room. She went to the coffee table and grabbed the pearls and empty gift boxes

“Vange?” Layla started, but Evangeline snapped her head up.

“Out of it Layla.” She ordered again to her little sister.

“I just wanted to give you the letter that went with the journal.” Layla smiled weakly as she pointed to a piece of paper on top of the piano.

Evangeline straightened her back and walked over to the piano to retreat the letter. Her mother and sister remained quiet until she left. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs when she heard her mother ask what all did she read in the journal. She sighed and smiled knowingly; those two had more in common than they were willing to admit.

Three hours later

Knock! Knock!

“Can your little nosy sister come in?” Layla peeked in the room and watched Evangeline lying on her bed. She noticed her sister was reading the journal. She stepped into the room when Evangeline didn’t reply. “I couldn’t leave with my big sister mad at me.”

Evangeline continued to ignore her sibling as she sat on the bed.

“Vange, I’m sorry.” Evangeline looked at her sister for the first time since she appeared in her room. This was a first. Layla has never apologized for invading her privacy. “Okay, I’m not really sorry about invading your privacy…I’m sorry that it upset you.”

The older Williamson rolled her eyes at her sibling then turned her attention back to the journal.

“What are you going to do about John?” Layla persisted.

Evangeline sighed then pushed herself up on the bed. She glared at her sister for a minute, ran her hand through her hair, and glanced at the opened door.

“Mom, you can come in now.” Evangeline watched as her Mom appeared into her room. She laughed inside knowing the only time these two had a united front is when they were involved in her personal affairs. She sighed again. “I knew about the journal.”

Neither Lisa nor Layla spoke as Evangeline explained how she stumbled across the journal. Both Williamson’s girls revealed entries they read about John McBain, his relationship with Natalie, and his undying feelings for the eldest Williamson child. Lisa was puzzled by the facts other than why John saved Natalie first in the Love Center. Her baby and Natalie were both tied to burning poles, and John saved Natalie first. Honestly, even though he saved her baby’s life, her dislike for him started then.

“Cookie, what are you going to do?” Lisa wondered studying her eldest child.

“Mom, I don’t have a clue.” Evangeline glanced at the pearls she placed on top of her dresser. “I don’t have a clue.”

“Vange, John left a number and address for you to contact him.” Layla searched her sister’s face. “Why don’t you call him?”

“Because I still need the words.” Evangeline carefully slid off her bed and moved between her sister and her Mom. They watched as she walked over to the window. “Damnit!…I still need John to say the words to me. I don’t want to read them on a piece of paper.”

Two months later, Evangeline walked out of her apartment and headed towards the elevator. She pushed the down button then pulled her long hair up and placed it in a ponytail. She had finally gotten back into her morning routine of running, and she was feeling great. She was about to begin stretching while she waited when the elevator doors open. Not paying attention, she walked in and ran into John.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized to the other occupant and looked up to see John. “What are you doing here…Never mind…I forgot you live here now.” She turned embarrassed that she questioned him. It wasn’t about her. If the elevator doors hadn’t already closed: she would have stepped out and taken the stairs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to question you. I know you hate to be…I didn’t know you were back in town…Not that I’ve been looking for you.” She rolled her eyes and wondered if this torture was going to end.

“It’s okay.” He whispered in his husky voice. “I have been back for a week. I haven’t seen you either…and I have been looking.”

“You just finished the night shift?” She looked over her shoulder deciding to ignore his last statement.
She noted that he still had his insomnia problem. There were only two reasons John McBain would be up at this time of morning. He couldn’t sleep or he hadn’t been to sleep.

“I haven’t worked overnight in months.” He stated in a matter of fact tone as he stared into her eyes. “I’m actually walking the dog…if it wasn’t for this little K-9 here, I would still be sleeping like a baby.”

Dog? Evangeline turned around again and looked down his long muscular arm to the leash then to the little white Labrador retriever with champagne shading.

John watched her kneel and call the puppy to her. He wasn’t surprised when the dog happily and playfully ran over to her. He smiled realizing the dog must be starved for attention. He would have to work hard in the area of caretaker. He has never had a pet before. Mikey was the one who begged for the pets and was forced to care for and love them.

“When did you get this cutie?” She asked rubbing the animal underneath his chin and behind his ears. “She is so cute. You look like a Cinnamon or Honey. Did he give you a cute name to fit your cute little self?”

“She is a he…” John corrected now embarrassed for the name he gave the dog. “And, his name is Chance.”

“Chance? Who names a dog chance?” Evangeline glanced up and searched John’s eyes for a second. She instantly understood why he named the dog, Chance. There was a chance he wasn’t going to keep him. Typical McBain. She focused back on the puppy. Before she would have found it cute, now, she was a little irritated by it. She didn’t have time to think much about it because she realized little Chance was going to the bathroom on the elevator floor.

“Chance!” John rebuked and pulled on his leash slightly too strong. “Damnit!”

Evangeline stood and watched as her ex stared at the puddle of dog pee. He glanced from the puddle to the puppy. Apparently, Chance knew his master was upset over the accident and retreated to the corner. The puppy sat patiently with a concerned expression as he glanced from his puddle to his owner. After about a few seconds, the dog titled his head and stared at John. When his master sighed, Chance stood back up on all fours and wagged his tail excited.

Evangeline couldn’t help but giggle. She wasn’t sure how John was going to react because his initial flare of anger concerned her. But, like anything new with John McBain, he needed time to adjust. When his expression softened as he stared down at the pup, she knew Chance was going to be in good hands with the lieutenant.

“You laughing at me?” John questioned with his signature goofy smile. “You find this humorous?”

“No…No, of course not.” She answered as she watched him bend down and pick up Chance, so the dog wouldn’t walk in the pee.

“You see her laughing at us, Chance?” The puppy answered him with a lick on the face and a wiggle in his arms.

The elevator doors opened, and they both stopped laughing. She stared at him for a second and realized she wasn’t ready for this…whatever this was to be over. “How is your grandfather?” She asked before she thought about it.

“He’s much better.” He smiled and stared at her loving. “He’s a tough old wise man.”

Evangeline looked at him and wondered what wisdom the older McBain had offered to his grandson. Instead of satisfying her curiosity, she offered to help clean up Chance’s accident. He watched as she pushed the close button and faced him.

Evangeline placed a hand on John’s arm and rubbed the puppy’s head. She didn’t think much of the action; until she realized John had not responded to her offer. She glanced up and noticed his crystal blue eyes were focused on something else. Following the direction, she realized he was staring at her hand on his arm. Looking back at him, she found him staring at her face. His eyes centered on her lips and like a magnet she found herself slowly moving towards him. Inches away from kissing, Chance decided to steal his prize and licked her lips instead.

Evangeline quickly stepped back, wiped her lips, and grimaced. Looking at the puppy, she started smiling seeing the shine in his beautiful brown eyes. She chewed on her bottom lip and glanced back up at John. She smiled weakly when she saw the disappointment in his eyes. Her attention went back to the happy little pup. She guessed, she should be thankful for the interruption. Kissing John now probably wasn’t a good idea. She didn’t want to give him any false hope.

“McBain, I hope you are feeding Chance more than just coffee.” She decided to break the silent.

“I give him crackers too.” He mused still feeling disappointed over the missed opportunity.

Before either one of them could say another word, the elevator doors opened on her floor. He glanced up, and they both realized she pushed his floor and not hers.

“Stay here.” He ordered. “I’ll go get something to clean Chance’s little mishap up.”

“Okay.” She agreed as she watched him glance at the elevator pad. He glanced over the buttons until he saw one that would prevent it from closing without any assistant.

Evangeline watched as he walked down the corridors and wondered what his apartment looked like. John wasn’t one for decoration or settling in. She smiled as she wondered if he even had furniture.

John wasn’t sure how he was going to play things, but he knew he felt complete from the short time he had been in her presence. He had to make a move now to get her back. He glanced down at the puppy he was holding who was looking back at the elevator.

“Hey, she’s mine.” He informed the puppy who glanced up then looked back down the hall.

After several minutes, Evangeline looked at her watch and realized it was taking John a minute to get some paper towels. She finally decided to walk down to his apartment. She left the elevator doors open.

She had opened her mouth to call out for him while she pushed his door open, and she heard him say Natalie’s name. She wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but she didn’t want to interrupt either.

“Natalie, I think you should call your Uncle…I can’t help you solve your problems.” Evangeline watched as he placed Chance on the microfiber plush fabric sofa beside him. The puppy jumped off the couch and headed straight for her. Her attention was half on John’s conversation and half on checking out his apartment. She speculated if Marcie or his Mom helped him furniture the place. “Natalie, our relationship did mean something to me, but I can’t be that man anymore…yes, she does have a lot to do with it…us being friends never worked out for me…or for you if you are honest with yourself. It’s not healthy…I will jump through hoops if that is what it takes…It’s none of your business if I’m seeing Dr. Crosby again. How did you find that out anyway?”

Evangeline snapped her head in his direction when she heard he was seeing Dr. Crosby again. She didn’t know Bo ordered for him to see the police psychiatrist again.

“Bottom line Natalie. Us being friends didn’t work. Call your Uncle Bo or perhaps you can call on someone else in your family. I can’t help you…Okay I won’t…Bye Natalie…Why? Because now, I don’t think you can honestly be just friends, and I care enough not to hurt you again…Yes, I love her…That’s none of your business, but if she gives me a second chance, I’m not going to put her through that anymore. Evangeline will know where my heart is. She deserves that and more…I’m not trying to hurt you.”

John sighed and turned to see what Chance was doing. When his eyes came in contact with Evangeline’s, he smiled and held up his finger gesturing for a minute.

Evangeline noticed that he wasn’t upset that she was in the room and heard his conversation. She also noted he didn’t seem uneasy about it either. He almost seemed pleased.

“Natalie, I’m sorry, but I have company and need to go…my life is none of your business…I’m not trying to be mean. You won’t let me be polite. Call your Uncle Bo…then I will tell him about our little conversation. Either way, I’m not playing these little games with you. I only need to be there for one person now.”

John ended his phone conversation and offered her an apologetic smile.

“Sorry.” They said in unison.

“What are you sorry for?” He smiled looking at her adoringly.

“I-I wasn’t…I didn’t mean…I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop on your private phone conversation.”

He shrugged and glanced over at the phone. “Please, don’t apology. I’m a open book for you.” He saw the doubt in her eyes from his statement. He wished he knew how to change it. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting. I came in to get the paper towels and the phone rang…I thought it could be Michael or my Mom.”

Evangeline glanced at the phone as so did he. That was a new one. Before he would have said, he thought it could have been the station.

“You know Natalie.” She simply nodded to his statement. “Hold on one minute. Let me go clean the elevator, and I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” Evangeline said in a small voice. She should leave, but she wasn’t ready. Not yet. Not after hearing him tell Natalie she was more important.

“Make yourself at home.” He said starting for the door. “Hey?”

She looked at him and asked what.

“I mean it. Make yourself at home…okay.” He smiled and disappeared.

While John was cleaning the elevator, Evangeline decided to really take note of his new place. It wasn’t a bachelor décor, but something about it whispered his essence. She stepped over to the built in shelves and smiled when she saw the books of poetry. McBain was coming out of the closet. She glanced down at her feet and saw Chance looking up at her.

She realized the puppy has been by her side since he hopped down off the couch. Cute.

“You didn’t take him as a poetry reader either.” She smiled and turned her attention back to the shelf. He had a few law enforcement books and manuals. Walking further down, she noticed his CD and cassette collections of his favorite Blues singers and Jazz musicians.

“Would you like a tour?” His husky voice asked from behind her. She closed her eyes and composed herself before turning around.

Once she was facing him and looking him directly into his eyes, she knew she had to get out of there.

“I-I should go.” She whispered glancing from his lips and eyes.

“It won’t take long.” He commented taking in her Flowers in Springtime scent. He closed his eyes for a second then found himself copying her actions by looking at her lips and eyes. “It’s only a two bedroom apartment.”

Evangeline was about to lean in and kiss him until she realized he said a two bedroom. A reality hit her that shocked the hell out of her. She pushed passed him so she could think and breathe. Exhaling she walked over to the couch then turned back to him to start her inquisition as he would say. She hated the need she had to figure out John McBain. It always left her feeling like a failure.

“Why would you go from a one room hotel place to a spacious two bedroom apartment. If I didn’t know better McBain, I would say you were getting ready for a family.” She joked semi-impressed with his decision. She looked at him when he didn’t say anything. She read his expression and realized her joke was right on the money. She gasped when she saw that not only was she on the money, but this upgrade was for her benefit. She couldn’t believe how easy John was becoming to read. He was slowly losing the title of closed off and emotionally challenge with her. He was turning into the man she always knew he could be. Pushing some hair behind her ear, she chewed on the inside of her left cheek. “You got the two bedrooms for me.” Her eyes went to the floor as she gathered her thoughts. Why would he need a two bedroom for her? What could he possibly been…Her eyes shot up at him. “You got the two bedrooms because you…you thought I was pregnant.”

With a sheepish smile, John walked pass her and offered her something to drink.

“John, you got the second room for a nursery.” She grabbed his arm preventing him from leaving. “Why? I was with Cristian.”

John’s eyes automatically went to her hand where she touched him. He felt the heat from the gentle connection and wondered if she did too. Slowly moving his eyes up her arm, his glaze finally fixed on hers. Instantly, he knew she felt it too. And, instantly, he knew he had a future with her. He just had to take the leap. He had to trust in what they had.

“I never stopped wanting you.” And with his eyes he added “Or loving you”. “I-I prayed…I pray you’ll…give me another chance.”

Evangeline studied him for a moment. God, she loved him. Before she knew it, all her feelings for him engulfed her, and she pulled him into a passionate kiss.

John quickly matched her kiss and pulled her closer to him by grabbing the back of her head. He missed how good she felt in his arms. He missed this. He missed her. As usual their kiss rapidly escalated to the next level, and he demanded himself not to go there yet. It was too soon. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as she buried her hands into his hair. God, this woman was intoxicating. He loved the feel, taste, and smell of her. Feeling his body betray his brain, he broke the kiss.

“E-Evange…Evangeline.” He gently grabbed her by the arms and forced them apart. “Wait.”

Evangeline looked at him confused and rejected. She stepped back and ran her hand through her hair. Grabbing her chest with her free hand, she cursed herself silently. She didn’t mean to kiss him, but the thought of him willing to raise another man’s baby because of his feelings for her was overwhelming. Then again, the action would have been typical McBain. He was always ready to step up and take care of things…even if it wasn’t his responsibility. He was always ready to carry the cross.

“You don’t want me?” She asked questioning why he would stop what was happening.

“Try a harder one, Hon.” He chuckled running his hand over his flushed face. “As long as I have breath in my body, I’m going to always want you…I would love nothing more than to taste you…feel you…lose myself in you right now.”

Evangeline blushed as she stared at him and saw the truth in his words. She knew it would have been explosive and wondered why he stopped them. She felt deep down inside that it would have been like no other sexual experience they had shared together. That she was sure of. And, she knew he was too.

“I told you before we were going to do things differently this time.” She examined as he looked up at the ceiling. She smiled when she realized he was still fighting for control over his hormones, desires, and need. “I want you to know that it’s more than just sex. This time Evangeline…I promise to give you everything I have inside of me.”

She started to speak, but she couldn’t. She wanted him more in this moment than she ever wanted him. Seeing the reaction of his confession in her eyes, he smiled then asked if she was going on her run still. Still not being able to speak, she shook her head no. He asked if he could show her something. She nodded and watched as he disappeared in one of the back rooms then reappeared seconds later.

“Have a seat Williamson.” John headed for the couch and took a seat. At her hesitation, he patted the space beside him. “Don’t fear.” He pointed to Chance who followed her motion. “You have a bodyguard…guard dog.”

Evangeline smiled as she sat beside John and little Chance sat at the heel of her feet between them.
She glanced at the book on his lap. She frowned when she thought it was a photo album.

“Okay Cookie. You asked to see more pictures.” He smiled when he recognized her inquiring glaze. “So, I asked my Mom for some more photos. She was floored with that request, and I had to tell her about you…don’t make any plans for Thanksgiving.” He teased, and she looked at him frightened almost.

“What?” She asked studying him not sure if he was serious or not. “Why would your Mom want to meet me? W-we’re not – we’re not together.”

“Come on, Evangeline.” Johns held in a laugh as he titled his head. “I mean. My Mom heard wonderful things about you from Mikey, Marcie, and me.” He was about to mention the necklace, but he quickly changed his mind not wanting her to give them back again. “She’s been curious for awhile.”

“John…J-John…” When he burst out laughing, she realized he was making fun of her and hit him playfully on the chest.

“Mom was curious, but I told her I wanted to decorate the new place.” He glanced at her as he watched her relax. “She’ll be coming for a visit soon though…I would like for you two to meet.”

“Maybe.” She looked at him then the photo album. He smiled knowing she was getting impatient. He also noticed the mix feelings she had about meeting his Mom.

“Williamson, there are some rules we need to go over before you get to look at these pictures.” He looked at her and saw the irritation in her eyes that she was trying to mask. “Rule one. No laughing. Rule two. No saying I was cute…Rule three. No laughing.” He studied her face and feigned seriousness. “Can you handle that Counselor?”

“I forgot rule one and three.” She mocked his expression as he opened the book. Sitting besides him and sharing this moment, she felt the same way she did when he gave her his Mother’s pearl.

“Rule one and three, no laughing.” He placed the book in her lap. “Two, no you were so cute.”

Evangeline smiled as her hand moved over the first black and white picture that had “John Tighe McBain at two days old. Born March 9, 1971, in Dublin, Ireland” written in fine cursive. He was a precious little baby boy. His eyes were closed and his little hands were in a fist resting on each side of his little head. He looked so peaceful, free, and wrinkled.

“John, you were so…” She glanced up at him and stifled a laugh, as she remembered his rules. “Irish…you look so Irish. Dublin? I didn’t know you were born in Ireland.”

“Yeah. In my Grandparent’s house.” He informed knowing she was going to break his rules pretty soon. “Dad and Mom were visiting…I was actually early.”

“Couldn’t wait to play sheriff, huh?” She ribbed as she turned the page to reveal more black and white pictures. The first was him at six months in a christening gown and bonnet and on the opposite page two pictures of him at 9 months wrapped in a fleece blanket. The top one was his mother holding him and the second was his father.

John studied her as she became lost in the pictures and read his Mother’s footnotes. She turned a few more pages to see him at four years old holding his seven month old brother Michael Thomas McBain. She smiled when she noted the seriousness in his crystal blue eyes in the color picture. She could see at the tender age how important protecting Michael was. He decided to start giving commentaries on pictures, so he could be apart of the moment. He wanted to show her that he was ready to dissect himself for her. She remained quiet only offering questioning glazes as she turned the pages. He noticed she stopped and leaned in close at one picture in particular.

“Oh, I remember her.” John pointed to a girl in the picture beside Michael. “Carla Davis. She was Mike’s first crush.” He chuckled and sat back as Evangeline continued to study the picture. “He asked me for advice on how to impress her.” He laughed harder as he remembered what he told his little brother. “I told him to give her a lizard.”

“No you didn’t.” Evangeline snapped her head in his direction disgusted.

“Yes, I did.” John continued to laugh. “He told Pop, and I got my behind fired up. It was worth it though. My butt was sore, but I laughed for days.”

“So, who is this girl standing beside you?” She looked at the picture and thought the girl was too young to be his first crush, but she asked him anyway. “Was she your first crush?”

“My cousin Shannon.” He answered looking at the picture then focusing on her face. “I had my first crush late…very, very late in life”

“Really.” She sat back taking an interest in this story. “Do tell?”

“Well, she was someone who was mesmerizing, controlling, and intoxicating.” He said glazing into her dark chocolate eyes.

“Wow, McBain.” Evangeline turned her attention back to the photo album trying to hide her smidgen of jealous. She got beautiful while this “woman” got mesmerizing and intoxicating. “I see you are getting better with words.”

“I’m learning.” He said watching her and holding in a laugh. “I actually ended up falling for her…and hard.”

“Caitlin?” Evangeline wondered, as she looked back at him with wide eyes. She frowned when he shook his head no and continued explaining.

“No this was after Caitlin.” He continued to study her and found it cute that she was finally the clueless one. “This one actually ended up capturing my heart. My crush quickly turned into something deeper. It was like nothing I had ever experienced in my life…she was like no one I have ever met.”

Natalie? She questioned with her eyes and was pleased when he shook his head to her unspoken question.

“She is breathtaking, captivating, invigorating, smart, elegant, sexy…oh, so sexy.” She watched, as his eyes slowly sweep over her. She shifted in her seat feeling exposed in a sense. “She has the most beautiful skin you have ever seen. Her eyes are like a dark chocolate magnetic force.” He touched her hair. “Her hair is so shiny and soft. You want to play with it all day long.” His eyes traveled to her lips. “Her lips are delicious, and you want to taste them all night long.”

Instead of his normal off guard kiss, he slowly moved his head towards hers. She closed her eyes as his lips covered hers and kissed her tenderly. His kiss turned more fervent by the second. He cupped her face and adoringly caressed her left cheek with his thumb.

Evangeline was shocked when he cursed and called out the puppy’s name. Following John’s actions, she looked down and started laughing. Chance was biting his master’s ankle.

“I don’t think Chance like me kissing on you.” John watched as Chance looked up then rose up on his two hind legs and rested his front ones against her legs. She picked him up and placed him on her lap. “Hey, you remember our talk?”

She glanced at John surprised that he was talking to the animal like it was a human being. McBain was definitely changing before her. A question popped into her mind and as Chance licked her hands, she pondered whether or not she was going to ask. She sighed then decided to test the waters.

“So, Bo made you go back to Dr. Crosby?” She studied him as she glanced at her then the dog. She saw the hesitation then submission in his expression.

“No.” He answered standing. “I did it voluntarily.”

“Oh.” She replied waiting for more. When he walked over to his bookshelves and didn’t offer more, she knew he wouldn’t.

“Hey. Can you take the day off?” He spun around and smiled.

“I-I guess…” She placed Chance on the couch and pushed some hair behind her left ear. “Why?”

“ You said you wanted to learn about John McBain the little boy.” He baited and saw the interest in her eyes. She was hooked. “I was thinking…we play a little hooky and head up to AC.”

John watched as she calculated his intentions. She wanted to go, but she also knew him opening up would weaken her defense. Her heart wanted to give him a second chance, but her mind was telling her to hold off. Ironic. First go round he listened to his head and not his heart. Now, she was doing the same, but she had reason for her caution. She was afraid of coming up empty if she decided to trust him again with her heart.

“I can show you were the play grounds use to be before the casinos came and replace them.”

“The steel pier?” She recalled from a previous conversation they had over two years ago. Wow. She surprised herself that she still remembered.

“Yeah…I can take you to Asbury Park and get you a cheese steak.” He titled his head as he smiled at her. “Side order of vinegar fries…we could listen to some Springsteen.”

“Okay, McBain.” She stood and Chance hopped off the couch and followed her. “We can do the park, cheese steak, and fries…but, I’m not…NOT spending my hooky day listening to Springsteen.”

“Okay.” He smiled as he conceded. “How about you go get change, and I’ll pick you up in about an hour.”

“Okay.” Evangeline agreed. She bent down, patted Chance on the head, and said good-bye.




Three Weeks Later



“So, Evangeline,” Nora started standing beside her friend. “Tell me how you got John to attend an opera?”

“It was his idea.” Evangeline laughed wondering the same thing. “We have been doing so many wonderful things together…I guess he figured he wanted to add this to the list.”

“Are you two back together?” Nora inquired curious. She had seen them at the Palace once or twice. One time John even had on shorts and was holding a tennis racket. They shared lunch together on numerous occasions. And it seemed every time she called her best friend, she was placed on hold because John was on the other line.

“No. We are just doing what people do.” Evangeline chewed on her bottom lip wondering how many other people thought the same thing in Llanview. “You know…keeping it simple.”

“Evangeline, you got tough guy McBain in a pair of shorts.” Nora faced her putting on her attorney stance. “Are you trying to tell me you aren’t sleeping with John again?”

Evangeline laughed as she looked at her friend. It was hard for her to believe too. They had some close encounters, but John always stopped it before they went to the next level. Accept for that one time, when he said he just had to taste her. She was so pissed off that he wouldn’t go any further; she kicked him out of her condo. “John and I are just friends, Nora…we are enjoying each others’ company while we live life.”

“You don’t want to be back with him?” Nora studied her friend. “Honestly?”

“Nora, I do, but…I’m enjoying watching John live…finally.” She looked pass her friend and saw the topic of their discussion standing in front of the theater door with Bo Buchanan. “If we are meant to be together, it will happen.” She started towards the men with Nora right behind her.



“So, you are really trying to impress Evangeline with the new John McBain.” Bo stated as they waited patiently for the ladies to return from the restrooms. Neither one noticed the women were returning.

“I’m just introducing new experiences into my life.” John answered and wondered what Evangeline’s thoughts were on the subject. He smiled remembering the joy and shock on her face when he invited her.

“Well, this will either be your first or your last.” Bo snickered stopping. “Gabrielle hated it. She learned to appreciate it for me, but it wasn’t something she enjoyed.”

John laughed and wondered about Nora. “And Nora?”

“Nora loves everything about the opera. It has become apart of her soul.” Bo shifted placing his hands in his pockets as he thought about the mother of his son.

“Well, lets hope I can at least appreciate it.” John checked his watched then looked through the open doors of the stage. He followed his friend and boss’s actions and placed his hands in his pant pockets. “And, I hope I don’t fall asleep.” He added smiling weakly at Bo.

“That wouldn’t be good…Hey, John. Thanks for telling me about Natalie’s problem.” Bo studied John’s reaction and wasn’t surprised when he didn’t see any emotions. “I’m glad you’re not letting my niece come between you and Evangeline this time.”

“I’ll never jeopardy my relationship with Evangeline again.” John spoke with confident.

Evangeline and Nora were now in earshot of the gentlemen. Nora stopped and scanned her best friend’s face.

Evangeline chewed on her bottom lip for a second as she processed John’s words. She wasn’t sure what to think of his statement. His words pleased, frightened, and saddened her all at the same time. She cleared her throat to alert the men of their presence.

John glanced up at her smiling and quickly offering her his hand.

Nora and Bo watched as the young couple walked into the room hand and hand like lovers.




A Week Later – Monday Night




“John, I can’t believe you jumped into the dock’s water after my football.” She chuckled into the phone.

“Well, I paid good money for that ball at the game. I should have known your throwing would be like your boy, McNabb.” He sniffed into the phone then smiled when he remembered her calling out for him in fear. “I’m not sure what I was thinking. I’ll send you my therapy bill for the next three sessions.”

Evangeline went quiet. She was taken aback that he was joking about his therapy and wondered if he was ready to talk to her about them.

“You were right.” He sighed answering her unasked question. They have been doing that a lot lately. He knew her and she knew him. Their connection was so much stronger now since they were really communicating. Sometimes, it was scary. They didn’t need words a lot of the time, but he offered them to her to let her know he was committed. He was going to move heaven and earth for her this time. “I went through a lot over the past few years. I needed to talk to someone.”

“What made you realize that?” She asked feeling more comfortable with his willingness to talk. “Natalie?”

“Some.” He answered honestly then explained. “I hurt her really bad because I could…or wouldn’t dissect myself for you. I destroyed my relationship with you, and you were all I ever wanted…I hope she finds love again, but I tried to tell her I wasn’t the man for her…I wasn’t her soulmate.”

“I know what you mean.” Evangeline confessed thinking about Cristian. “I kinda messed things up getting involved with Cristian…I thought it was what I wanted…what I needed.”

John was the one who went quiet now. He wanted to ask her about the baby so many times, but he never mustered the courage.

“I was terrified when I thought I was pregnant, but it opened my eyes.” She answered his unspoken question. “Cristian is a wonderful man. I love him, but I wasn’t in love with him. I want him to be happy. He deserves to be happy. He was there for me when I needed someone and didn’t want to admit it to myself.”

“Yeah.” He said thinking about how good it was to have her in his life even if they weren’t together…yet. He missed his friend. Unknowingly, he interrupted her thoughts and added, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“Thank you for saying that. It means a lot.” She was silent for a moment then she thought about something Nora had said a couple of years ago. “John, have you thought about having kids?”

“Me.” He asked surprised and knew she was asking because of them. “Yeah…one day…but, I think marriage should come first.” He tossed the topic out there wondering if her feelings had changed.

They were silent for a moment.

“At Yvonne’s wedding I thought about my own wedding.” She supplied knowing he’ll understand her breakthrough with the idea. “I was surprised that I even entertained the thought.”

“Me too.” He admitted then quickly clarified. “I thought about it too…I wouldn’t want a really big one…but I think I can do a church wedding. You know, close family and friends.”

“Yeah.” Was her simple answer to his declaration. Feeling a peace about their conversation, she decided to call it a night. “Well, I’m going to let you get some sleep…it’s nice to know you are finally sleeping through the night.”

“Thanks.” He murmured his disappointment of the end of their conversation. He suddenly perked up. “I really enjoyed your company at the game.”

“Thank you for inviting me.” She smiled knowing he could have taken Bo, Antonio, or Michael to the Philadelphia Eagles and Washington Redskins game. “I can’t believe the Eagles lost.”

“Oh, you were very vocal during the game. I’m sure the team heard every suggestion you had.” He laughed knowing she had only been an Eagles’ fan for less than three years. At one point, he thought she was going to go down and assist the coach. “I was very impressed that you had everything down pack.”

“McBain, I just want you to know I’ve been studying up on my Football for Fools and often times Cris would watch the games with me.” She laughed into the phone. “But, somehow I don’t think Cris was that into the games he just did it for me…I am no longer fuzzy on clipping or encroachment.”

“Yeah, I noticed tonight. You could have been doing the play by play.” He encouraged.

“Well, I’ll hold off on that.” She was silent for a moment. “Well…goodnight.”

“Goodnight Evangeline.” He paused then called her name again. She answered and he added, “Today was wonderful.”

Evangeline hung up her phone and walked over to her bed. She picked up the football John rescued for her and considered the possibilities.



Saturday Night



John opened the door and greeted a smiling Evangeline.

“McBain, have I got a movie for you.” She walked in holding up a DVD case. “This movie has great reviews and a high body count.”

When he didn’t reply, she turned around to see him pointing at the TV and DVD player. “I got Casablanca figuring you had a rough week and needed to cry.” He teased.

“Well, since you packed up your mask and cape,” She smirked at him. “I figured you needed something to satisfy the hero within.”

“Funny.” He grabbed the movie and opened the case. “300. I heard about this movie. Some of the guys at the station have watched it…they say it’s pretty graphic and bloody.”

“Just like you like them.” She studied him as he offered her a smile and changed the disc in the DVD player. “So, where is the popcorn?”

“Kitchen.” He glanced over at Chance who was already on Evangeline’s heel. He couldn’t blame the K-9 for falling for the beautiful lady. He was falling deeper himself. He wasn’t sure how she would feel about it, but he knew he was ready to take that leap. He just prayed she was too. “I’ll get it.”

“No.” She held up her hand. “Let me.”

John watched as she went towards the kitchen followed by man’s best friend. When she returned with the bowl of popcorn, she settled on the couch beside him. Chance had stood up on his hind legs as usual begging to be picked up. When his master said a firm no, he sat down between their heels.

While the ending credits were rolling, John held Evangeline in his arms as she cried. Half way through the movie, he invited her to lie against him, and she accepted. He watched as she lifted herself slightly off his chest and looked up at him. He unconsciously wiped the single tear that was rolling down her left cheek.

“Let me guess, Counselor.” He cupped her cheek as he glazed into her dark chocolate eyes. “The 300 were supposed to return home and live happily ever after.”

She smiled weakly as he pulled her face towards him. He covered her lips with a desire to consume her.
His kiss was intense and short. She frowned at him when he stopped the kiss.

“What’s wrong, John?” She questioned as she watched him stand and walk over to the TV and DVD player. She was getting every frustrated with his little tease routine. “Did I just miss something?”

“No.” He turned placing the movie on top of the DVD player then ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He glanced between her and the phone for a second. “Evangeline, I’m in love with you.” He confessed and glazed directly at her. “I want more than just to make love to you. I want all of you. I want all of us…I want the whole ball of strings not just one.”

Evangeline gaped at him until she realized he was dead serious and wasn’t backing down. She should have been happy that he finally declared his love. However, she always wondered how she would feel once this moment happened. Was John implying he wanted marriage with her as well? God, why did he want to talk about this now? She glanced down at the front of his pants and saw evidence of his physical state for her right now. Why couldn’t they just live in the moment? She finally decided that she didn’t need to hear the words from him. She saw his love in his eyes and actions daily. A part of her was content with what they had right now. It was safe for her. She chewed on her bottom lip as she slowly rose from the couch and avoided his glaze. She ran her right hand through her hair as she thought about how to respond. She couldn’t give him a second chance with her heart, so she decided to approach the one thing she knew wouldn’t hurt him too much.

“John, you know how I feel about marriage.” She finally turned to him and couldn’t read his expression. “And, I’m really not sure how I feel about children…I was terrified when I thought I was pregnant with Cristian’s baby.”

“What if you were pregnant with our child?” He inquired determined not to let her run from the best thing that has happened to the both of them. He wanted her and only her. If he had to spend the rest of his life waiting for her, he would for fill that destiny. “How would you feel if you were pregnant with my child, Evangeline?”

Evangeline opened and closed her mouth then looked up to the ceiling and said a silent prayer. She wasn’t ready to bare her soul to him. She wasn’t ready to let down the invisible wall that was around her heart for protection. “John, how could I give that question any justice? We aren’t even dating.”

“Okay.” He turned and left the room.

She looked down at Chance who was right at her heel and frowned as the dog glanced in the direction his master disappeared in. She smiled when John returned with a black and gray wool varsity jacket with set-in leather sleeves. He walked over to her and stopped in front of her. Her smile widened as she examined the jacket. He had Johnny Mac on the right chest area and LPD in big letters on the left. On the right arm she noticed a football player holding a ball and on the left side she noticed 04.

“Cookie, will you do me the honor of wearing my varsity jacket.” John asked holding the jacket open for her to step into it. “I’m ready to take that leap and give you all I have inside of me…you get 100% of McBain.”

“I can’t believe you actually took the time to have a jacket made for me.” Evangeline couldn’t help the tears that started to flow down her cheeks. As she held John’s glaze, she saw determination in his eyes. He was going to breakthrough to her heart again.

“John, I’m sorry. I see you are trying,” Her glaze went to the floor as she paused and said a silent prayer. She told herself she could do this and looked him directly in the eyes. She finished her train of thought. “I see you have changed. But, nothing has changed for me. I’ve read your journal and I have a clearer understanding on why you did what you did. Maybe, if I would have known before, it would have been easier for me to understand why it was hard for you to say the words.” She looked at him and wanted to stop, but she forced herself to continue. “In our relationship, you were honest with me, and that meant the world to me. Neither one of us offered that to Cristian or Natalie and we hurt two people that cared deeply for us.”

John just stared as she spoke.

“I’m so happy you finally can say those words to me…I’m not trying to play games with your emotions, but I won’t lie to you…you are the only man I want, but I don’t know how to let down the wall I have up to protect my heart.” She wiped away a tear. “When we broke up, I felt like someone ripped my heart out and I didn’t know how to survive…I never felt that before…and I can’t allow myself to feel that again.”

“I know I hurt you, but…” He stopped feeling all his hope departing from him as he lowered the jacket. He stared into her eyes and finally after a few minutes, he saw all the pain he caused her lingering in the distance. She was good at putting up a front, but the pain was there…haunting him…haunting them. He lowered his eyes to the floor.

“But what John? You know I heard your conversation with Natalie, but what happens when the next Natalie comes around…or another demon buried deep down in you surface…what about me then?” She glanced away when she saw the hurt from her question in his eyes. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she had to protect her heart. He never intentionally wanted to hurt her, but it always managed to happen. She wasn’t going to make the mistake again to give him the opportunity to crush her. She inhaled then exhaled and asked him a final gut-punching question. “What guarantee can you give me that I won’t find myself in the same situation as I had before? Where you feel the need to play the hero? Where you will put another woman’s need ahead of mine?”

He looked back up with tears forming in his eyes.

“I still see the guilt you have from the pain you caused me.” She wiped her cheeks again. She tried to do this. She tried to let him in again completely. “Maybe, we both need to stop hurting each other.”

“Evangeline,” He tried his voice cracking. He sniffed forcing himself to control his emotions. “I want you…us because I love you. Me feeling like I owe you is because I didn’t cherish you when I had you. With every part of me, I want to be with you yesterday, today, and tomorrow…I do owe you, because you are the woman who saved me…but, it’s more than that. We are more than that.”

She watched as a tear rolled down his cheek. When he stepped forward, she stepped back.

“John, the only thing we can have is friendship.” She looked at him sadly. “I can’t handle anything more.”

“I can’t handle just being your friend.” He swallowed his pride. “I know when the shoe was on the other foot, I tried to convince you to continue being my friend…” He smiled weakly. “But, you’re so much stronger than I am…Evangeline, I want the strings and rings with you.”

“Then prove it.” She challenged him. After a minute of silence, she walked over to the couch for her purse and left him standing in the middle of the floor.

Disclaimer: The flowers I used may be out of season or not available for immediate purchase from a florist. Please over look this and love the gesture by John. Smile. Thank you.


John walked into Llanview's florist. His eyes scanned the shop at the same time the floral designer yelled from the back saying she would be with him in a moment. He decided to take the opportunity to look around. He noticed several arrangements on the counter and thought they were pretty, but he wasn't drawn to them. His eyes went to the glass refrigerators were other arrangements were, and he thought they were pretty too. He wasn't sure what he wanted, but he knew he wanted something special.

He wanted an arrangement that would confirm his need to be more than just a friend to Evangeline. When they were last together, he told her he couldn¡¦t handle just being her friend. He declared he wanted the strings and rings. She had boldly told him to prove it, and he meant to.

He fingered the note cards and read them silently to himself. He glanced in the direction the voice came from earlier and wondered what was taking so long. He didn't have all day.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he looked back at the note cards and noticed a magazine on the counter.

Floral Monthly. He mocked until a heading on the front caught his attention. The meaning of flowers.¡¨

John looked around to make sure he was still alone then picked up the magazine and turned to the page indicated on the front. Hmm. He thought as he read that the arbutus flower meant Thee only do I love¡¨. He scanned the list and started formulating an idea as he learned about the different meaning of flowers. CAMELLIA, WHITE: You're adorable. CARNATION, PINK: I'll never forget you. LILY, ORANGE: I burn for you. ROSE, RED: Love, passion, respect, courage, I love you, beauty, pure and lovely, prosperity.

Sorry, I took so long.¨ A short Hispanic woman walked into the room swiping her hands on her apron. I'm here by myself while my husband and son are out making deliveries, and I just received a big shipment of flowers.¨

John was so deep in thought. He didn't notice when she entered and spoke.

Excuse me sir.¨ She tried again in her deep accent.

Oh, sorry¡¨ John bashfully placed the magazine back on the counter.

How can I help you¨ The lady asked as she glanced at the magazine and smiled politely.

I want to order some flowers¨ John stated reaching for his wallet.

For the lady you are in love with.¨ She offered him a knowing smile.

John snapped his head up and looked at her puzzled. How did she know?

Anyone can look at you and tell you are in love, senor.¨ She laughed and stepped over to the register. Their eyes locked, and she knew this was going to be a big sell.

John offered her one of his signature goofy smiles as she offered him a wider smile. She grabbed her ordering pad and asked what kind of flowers he wanted. His glaze went to the floral magazine on the counter, and he pulled out his credit card. I think I will need my platinum card for this one.¨


Evangeline¡¦s office ¡V Several days later

Todd, will you please go and let me get back to work.¡¨ Evangeline insisted as he followed her into the front office of her practice. She took the messages her receptionist handed to her and didn¡¦t notice the ear-to-ear grin the young lady was sporting. ¡§Amy, could you please reschedule my appointment with Mr. Morris?¡¨

I will call him now.¡¨ Amy informed as she picked up the phone and focused on her task. ¡§And, Layla called and confirmed your dinner tonight with her at the Palace at seven.¡¨

Thanks Amy.¡¨ Evangeline turned to Todd who had become her shadow in the last few days.

Glancing through her messages, she smiled inside at her best male friend. She remembered once that she told him he was a rotten friend, but Todd Manning had come along way in stepping up in that department. Even though his style was overbearing, his behavior obsessive, and his advice verbally insulted two men she really cared about, his heart was in the right place. He wanted to be there for her¡Kliterally. But, today, she had to put a stop to it. Several straight days of Todd Manning was enough. She loved him dearly. He was helping keep her mind off John, but it was time for him to get back to his own job. For heavens sake, he was the publisher of the Sun one of Llanview¡¦s popular newspapers. She was sure he had something he could be doing other than babysitting her. And, she really had a lot of work to do. She couldn¡¦t play hooky with him anymore.

Todd, I really appreciate your persistence of being here for me, but I need to get some work done. I have two briefs I need to take care of, a few cases going to court soon, and I promised Layla I would look over a contract for her. So, I really, really need to get to work.¡¨
I'll help you¡ I'll read over Layla's contract for you.¡¨ Todd equipped as Evangeline pushed some hair behind her ear offering him an apologetic smile after his statement. When her receptionist snickered at him, he cut his eyes at her before turning his attention back to his best friend.

Todd, that is really sweet.¡¨ Evangeline controlled her own desire to laugh because she knew he was serious. It was sweet, and the side of him he only let a few people see. His offer was genuine and uncharacteristically of Todd Manning, which made it charming.

Well, if you won¡¦t let me look over the contract for you.¡¨ He interjected seeing a refusal of his offer on her face. ¡§I can do something else. I¡¦ve been in so much trouble with the law I¡¦m sure I can be of some help¡KYou know that. You handled all my brushes since you came to town¡Khow long has that been. Three, six¡Knine years.¡¨ He sported his signature confident smile that told her he wouldn¡¦t take no for an answer.

Yeah, you¡¦re her number one criminal client.¡¨ Amy ribbed writing something in a folder. ¡§That is why we make sure your birthday and Christmas cards are always original¡Kand, she has only had the practice here in Llanview for four years.¡¨

Don¡¦t you have some filing or something to do Ms. Kitty?¡¨ Todd said with sarcasm not liking either one of her comments. ¡§Take the rest of the day off.¡¨

Evangeline knew when Manning resulted to name calling and requesting people leave his presence it was time to isolate him from any other humanity. Okay, Todd, in my office¡KThanks Amy, and you can call it a day. Just send the phone to voice mail, and I will be fine.¡¨

Thank you Evangeline.¡¨ Amy said as she returned her boss¡¦s friend glaring stare for a second then started to straighten up her desk. Todd continued to glare for a few more seconds as Evangeline walked into her office. ¡§I¡¦ll see you tomorrow¡Khopefully alone.¡¨

Evangeline, why do you keep her?¡¨ Todd stated loud enough to be heard as he finally followed Evangeline into master office. ¡§My daughter, Starr could do a better job than her.¡¨

Todd enough is enough.¡¨ Evangeline¡¦s disapproving tone grabbed his attention.

Todd froze when he noticed the floral arrangements all around the room. ¡§I didn¡¦t do this.¡¨ He confessed wishing he had reading the confusion in her eyes and on her face. He wasn¡¦t sure what she was feeling now knowing he wasn¡¦t behind this. He couldn¡¦t believe his eyes as they started at the door and examined the rest of the room. There were numerous different kinds of flowers in quantities of a dozen invading her office. He watched as she strolled over and retrieved more than a few of the cards from them and read them.

Evangeline stared at the one arrangement of beautiful light pink roses in a rectangle glass vase. Her face was expressionless when she noticed the card without an envelope. She immediately recognized John¡¦s bold handwriting. The card simply read: Please Believe Me. Her eyes went to the next dozen of flowers, which was an identical arrangement. The card read: Perfect Happiness. Looking at the bouquet behind it, she noticed a dozen peach color roses in a vase with another note. Note: Desire.

Evangeline was spellbound as she pulled note cards from several flowers each in the quantity of a dozen. She observed the arrangements as she mindfully noted this was the first contact John has made with her since Saturday. Her attention went back to the flowers, and she realized the ones that were duplicated either had a card with a different meaning from the other same set or were without a card. Moss Rose (Confession of love), Arbutus (Thee only do I love), Astilbe (I'll still be waiting), White Chrysanthemum (Truth), Gardenia (You¡¦re lovely), Iris (Your friendship means so much to me), Orange Lily (I burn for you), Yellow Lily (I¡¦m walking on air), Forget-me-not (True Love), Gardenia (You¡¦re lovely), Purple Hyacinth (I am sorry), Yellow Iris (Passion).

Todd was doing his own exploration. Jonquil (Love me), White Lily (It¡¦s heavenly to be with you), Peach Rose (Admiration), White Chrysanthemum (Loyal love), Balsam (Ardent love), Red Camellia (You¡¦re a flame in my heart).

I was thinking your little Mexican was the idiot behind your miniature florist since he now have a few dineros after his big title fight. But, I see Chrysanthemum is spelled correct.¡¨ Todd ignored her glare as he held up the card from the flower for evidence. ¡§So, that means your comfortable living robot cop.¡¨ He surveyed the room again. ¡§He must have broken open his penny bank and took out a loan.¡¨

Todd, for the last time Cristian is¡K¡¨ She started only to have him join in unison as she finished. ¡§Puerto Rican.¡¨

Evangeline rolled her eyes as her friend smiled at her frustration with him.

I wonder where the courage-less toxic rental cop got this idea.¡¨ Todd questioned seeing her soften again as she looked at the flowers. ¡§We both know he don¡¦t have an original idea in that one track mind of his.¡¨

Todd please.¡¨ Evangeline moved to her desk and finally noticed five single flowers and a letter. For some reason, she knew those five single flowers: Fuschia, Light Pink Rose, Red Rose, Prim Rose, and Red Camellia would mean more to her than the other bundled ones.

Evangeline, please tell me you¡¦re not falling for this.¡¨ Todd questioned as he watched her pick up the letter and slowly opened it. ¡§McBain is never going to change. He¡¦s not worthy of being in the same city as you.¡¨

Todd, I¡¦m not about to talk about John with you.¡¨ She glanced at him then turned her complete attention to the letter after saying, ¡§You can¡¦t be objective about the topic.¡¨

I can be objective about any topic.¡¨ Todd lied as he wondered what John wrote in the letter.

Evangeline,

You once told me that I don¡¦t say things I don¡¦t mean. I know
you still believe I haven¡¦t changed, but I have. I¡¦m nothing with-
out you, and I don¡¦t have a problem verbalizing the fact. You once
told me to prove that you are all I have ever wanted. I¡¦m not sure
how to go about doing it, but I know I will spend the rest of my
life trying to figure it out until I get it right. I¡¦m not giving up on
us Evangeline. I told you once we were worth fighting for, and I
still believe we are.

I¡¦m not one to admit when I¡¦m wrong, but I was more than a fool
to let you get away. You¡¦re the best thing that has ever happened
in my life. I¡¦ve never had a woman who made me feel and think
the way you do. When I¡¦m with you, I¡¦m whole.


Todd watched as Evangeline walked over to her desk and sat down. He observed the expression on her face and wondered what was going on in that gorgeous mind of hers. He recalled a conversation he had with her once when she said she wanted success in her career, a family, and a soulmate. Even though she was in a relationship with Cristian Vega, she didn¡¦t claim to have the soulmate part. He watched as a tear rolled down her right cheek. Just as Blair was his soulmate, he knew John McBain was hers. He rolled his eyes at the thought of her giving McBain a second chance, but he knew she would. He saw it in her body language and expression. What was in that damn letter? He thought again and moved towards her desk.


I¡¦m sure three hundred sixty-five flowers in your office is overkill,
but I need for you to understand. I¡¦m committing all of me to you. Everything I have inside of me. I will show and tell you how I feel.
That¡¦s the reason for the flowers. I was originally only going to get
you a dozen roses. I saw a floral magazine that talked about flowers and their meanings, and I realized you deserved more than a dozen. You deserve any and everything that confirms how beautiful you are inside and out. I want a second chance to show you how beautiful you are to me and how much I love you. I will not rest until I can look into your eyes and see the reflection of my love in them.

Evangeline, I want you to trust me with your heart. I want you to
believe in us. I am ready to be the man in your life. I want to be
the man you wake up in the morning to start your day with, and the
man that makes you forget the rest of the world at night. I know in
my heart that you love me. I feel it when you touch me. I see it in
the way you look at me. Now, I need you to look at me and look into
my heart and trust in the love you see that I have for you.

Evangeline, you are my destiny. You are in my heart and every part
of my being. Now, I will explain the five flowers on your desk. The
prima rose is because I can¡¦t live without you. The red camellia is
because you¡¦re a flame in my heart. One that was ignited the
first day I met you in Angel Square as Agent McBain.

Evangeline smiled and wiped a tear off her cheek as she remembered him that day. He inquired about her martial status in an indirect way. His low husky voice played back in her mind as she remembered him saying Ms¡KWilliamson. She was a little intrigued by his pausing and waiting for direction technique. She didn¡¦t have a problem with him knowing it was Ms. In fact, she wanted him to know.

The fushica is for taste, and I¡¦ll explain that one in person.¡¨ Todd read out loud. ¡§I always knew McBain was a pervert.¡¨

Evangeline who had sat down in her desk chair at some point looked over her shoulder and noticed Todd was reading her letter too.

Todd!¡¨ She scolded moving the letter from his view. ¡§This is a personal letter.¡¨

It looks like pornography more than a love letter.¡¨ He commented stepping away from her not revealing an ounce of remorse for invading her privacy. ¡§It looks like something Blair would enjoy not a wholesome girl like yourself.¡¨

Evangeline shook her head as she finished the letter.

The light pink rose stands for please believe in me. I know I don¡¦t
have a right to ask, but I¡¦m proving to you I don¡¦t want to lose you.
Finally, but not least, the red rose. For every meaning it has because
I know you will never be second or settle for anything less than the
best. So, you have my love, passion, respect, courage, and so much
more.Evangeline, this is not about taking away the pain I caused you in the past. I wish I could but I know I can¡¦t. This is me knowing you are my destiny. I¡¦m ready to take that leap, hon. Actually, I have and I am waiting with open arms for you to join me. I promise to never hide or hold back my love for you ever again.

Love you with everything in me, John

She sniffed and wiped her right cheek again then folded the letter. She allowed her eyes to glance over the floral arrangements before locking eyes with Todd. She wasn¡¦t surprised he was the first to break the silence, but she was shocked by what he said.

Evangeline, you are the type of person who knows what you want.¡¨ Todd stated wondering why she was struggling with her heart. ¡§You told me once you wanted a family and soulmate to spend the rest of your life with.¡¨

He lowered his eyes briefly knowing for her he had to admit the truth. And¡Kif you ever tell anyone I admitted this, I will deny it and post some not so nice stuff about him in the Sun.¡¨ She frowned as she waited for him to continue. ¡§You and I both know John is your soulmate.¡¨

She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought about the letter in her hand, and the scent of the flowers filled her nostrils.

I'm not a fan of the guy, but you are the finest person I know. You¡¦re my best friend, and you know I want the best for you. McBain makes you happy, and I don¡¦t think he¡¦s stupid enough to screw up twice. He changed his priorities for you.¡¨ Todd studied her lovingly as he saw the internal turmoil in her eyes. And, if I'm wrong, well I can have him taken care of with one phone call.¡¨

She smiled shaking her head then buried her face in her palms as she wondered how John managed to get Todd Manning on his side. Evangeline knew Todd loved her and only wanted the best for her. And John loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She often wondered how two men with so much love in their heart for her could detested each other so much.

So, what about you and me?¡¨ He asked fiddling with her pencil cup on her desk.

What?¡¨ She snapped her head up and wondered what he was referring to now.

Vega had a problem¡K¡¨ He started and they locked eyes and she knew his full meaning.

John won¡¦t have a problem with our friendship.¡¨ She answered confidently. ¡§He knows when I commit I give 110%.¡¨ She smiled still seeing a little worry on her friend¡¦s expression. ¡§He also knows I won¡¦t let any man pick my friends for me.¡¨

Todd offered her a confident smile, but his smile quickly disappeared when she continued with her thought.

But, I won¡¦t let you goad him either like you did with Cristian.¡¨ She stood realizing she was emotionally and physically tired. More to the point, Todd wasn¡¦t going to let her get any work done anyway. She¡¦ll just take her work home. ¡§Todd, I¡¦m going home.¡¨

Okay. I¡¦ll come¡K¡¨ He started, but she quickly put her hand up.

No. You are going to the Sun.¡¨ She grabbed some folders and placed them in her briefcase. ¡§The penthouse, Llanfair, La Boulet, or anywhere else besides my condo.¡¨

Todd looked a little hurt, and she felt slightly guilty. He was just trying to be a good friend.

Hey.¡¨ She waited until he locked eyes with her again. ¡§You¡¦re getting pretty good at this friend thing.¡¨

I had an excellent role model.¡¨ He grinned and decided to concede and allow her the space she needed. He watched as she walked around to him.

Thanks for everything.¡¨ She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a firm hug. I'll pay for lunch tomorrow.



Sitting on her chaise Evangeline surfed the net on her laptop looking for some information for a case. An hour ago she was IMing her cousin Yvonne and was informed that the newlyweds were expecting her first child. She couldn¡¦t stop her mind from wondering what it would be like to start a family with John. His question haunted her, and she allowed herself to mediate on her feelings of having a child with him. She knew John loved children, and the thought of having his child made her feel even more connected to him. She allowed herself to process the fact that she wanted to have it all with John, but she wasn¡¦t ready to allow it to happen. Her IM noise indicator grabbed her attention letting her know she had a new IM. She glanced at the laptop screen.

JohnnyMac: Surprise SunshineESQ!

Evangeline gasped when she saw the screen name and wondered if it really could be John. But, how did he get her¡KYvonne. She was going to kill her cousin. Now, she was going to have to explain to him why her screen name was sunshine. Her IM indicator went off again.

JohnnyMac: Yvonne gave me your screen name. I hope it¡¦s okay. I was IMing Darius and she said you were online. She also told me to ask you about your screen name.

SunshineESQ: I¡¦m sure she did on all accounts. Okay with you having my screen name. Thanks for the flowers, John. They were beautiful. I was going to call later.

JohnnyMac: You¡¦re more than welcome and worthy. And, they can¡¦t touch your beauty. So?

Evangeline was smiling ear to ear. Wow! The man was definitely holding back on her before. John McBain undeniably had a way with words. Enjoying the feeling of his courtship, she IMed.

SunshineESQ: So, what?

JohnnyMac: I¡¦m curious about the screenname. Is this another secret I'll have to kiss out of you?

SunshineESQ: That only worked because I wanted it too. ļ

Evangeline couldn't believe John was actually indulging in chatting on the computer. She knew he was willing to verbalize himself now, but she didn¡¦t think he would even cover the cyber form. Her Johnny Mac has turned into something really good and wonderful.

JohnnyMac: I'm upstairs and up for the challenge. I just need the word from you.

She didn't reply. She just looked at the screen. He¡¦s giving her everything she want, but she still can¡¦t¡Kwon¡¦t bring herself to give him a second chance. Todd was right. She didn¡¦t believe he would hurt her again, but¡Kshe chewed on the inside of her left cheek as she wondered again what was holding her back.

JohnnyMac: Evangeline, I was teasing. I understand you are only offering me friendship, and I will take that if it means being in your life. I can't live without you.

JohnnyMac: I won't stop showing you the love I have inside for you, and I'm not giving up hope that we will be together in the end.

JohnnyMac: Are you still there?

Evangeline pushed some hair behind her ear, sniffed, and held back her tears, and typed her simple reply.

SunshineESQ: I'm here. I'm surprise you are into IMing.

JohnnyMac: I use it to keep in contact with my grandfather in Ireland. He won't talk on the phone, but he will spend hours on his computer. I find it crazy, but I enjoy communicating with him. He has given me a lot of advice.

JohnnyMac: You owe me an explanation for the screen name Williamson.

She smiled to herself then typed.

SunshineESQ: I'm not telling, but you will find your answer in the movie Harlem Nights, Lieutenant.

JohnnyMac: Harlem Nights?

SunshineESQ: Go rent the movie. My phone is ringing, so I have to go. Talk with you later.

JohnnyMac: Okay. Eight o'clock good for you?

SunshineESQ: I wasn't suggesting we watch it together.

JohnnyMac: I am. I'll bring Chinese and chocolate ice cream.

JohnnyMac: Or you can come over to my place. Chance misses you. I miss you.

JohnnyMac: Evangeline?

SunshineESQ: I'm here.

JohnnyMac: Is eight good?

SunshineESQ: John, I don¡¦t want to hurt you. Honestly, I don't think we should spend a large amount of time together. I don't think either one of us is ready for a lot of personal interaction. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.

JohnnyMac: What ever it takes?

SunshineESQ: Thanks again for the flowers...and the letter. Thank you for saying what you said in it.

JohnnyMac: Evangeline, I want to give you more than 365 flowers. And, the letter was just a beginning of offering you what is inside of me.

JohnnyMac: Okay. I'm going to rent that movie. May I call or IM you later.

SunshineESQ: I'm okay with that.

JohnnyMac: Bye. Cyber hug and kiss. Love you.

Evangeline stared at the last two words he typed. She placed her laptop at the foot of the chaise and stood. She was deep in thought about John and her feelings when the ringing of her cell phone grabbed her attention.



Rodi¡¦s ¡V two weeks later

Are you and John back together?¡¨ Nora questioned as she took her seat across from her best friend.

Nora, can we at least order before you start cross examining me?¡¨ Evangeline teased as her friend confirmed her suspicion on why she received a lunch invitation today. Nora was on a fact-finding mission. ¡§Besides, you are up to speed on my status with John. We are friends, but we are limiting our interactions to phone calls, emails, and texts.¡¨

Friends? Phone calls? Emails? Texts?¡¨ The local DA queried. ¡§Evangeline, John is not acting like you are just friends. He¡¦s acting like you are sleeping with him again. Bo says the guys at the station are calling him Goofy now.¡¨

Goofy?¡¨ Evangeline wondered as she looked over the menu.

Yeah.¡¨ Nora followed her actions with her own menu. ¡§I don¡¦t know what you are doing to him, but Bo says he walks around with a permanent smile plastered on his face now¡KHe hasn¡¦t barked an order at an officer in about two weeks¡KI saw him yesterday, and he actually seemed happy.¡¨

John McBain happy. That automatically means we¡¦re back together.¡¨ Evangeline giggled at her friend and Llanview Police Department¡¦s deduction.

Everyone knows the only time John was truly happy in his life was when you two were together.¡¨ Nora offered the waitress a polite smile as she walked up. And, I find it hard to believe his up beat mood is because of some emails, texts, and phone calls.¡¨

May I take your order?¡¨ The waitress arrived and interrupted with no apologies.

I'll have a chef salad with a water please.¡¨ Evangeline ordered not really feeling hungry. She watched her friend as she started to open her mouth to order then closed it when they heard the ringing of a cell phone.

Oh, it¡¦s mine.¡¨ Evangeline pushed some hair behind her ear as she checked the LCD screen and decided to let the call go to voicemail.

John?¡¨ Nora questioned as she studied her friend.

Evangeline watched the waitress walk away then looked at Nora.

Okay. I¡¦m curious.¡¨ Nora shifted in her chair to get more comfortable. It's obvious you two are't finish. I know Natalie was a problem.¡¨

Evangeline remained quiet as her friend analyzed her relationship.

But, according to Bo, John has definitely handled and cleared up any doubts where Natalie would be concerned. She is no longer apart of his life in any fashion or form¡¨

Evangeline still remained silent.

So, why aren¡¦t you willing to give him a second chance.¡¨ Nora gestured with her hands. ¡§For heaven sakes, the man went to the ballet and played tennis for you¡KI don¡¦t think John has ever been in a pair of shorts before then.¡¨

Evangeline started chewing on her bottom lip as Nora continued.

Honestly, I know you and I know you want this.¡¨ Nora frowned as she wondered what was holding the beautiful, intelligent defensive attorney back. Why won¡¦t you take him back and make both of you happy?¡¨

Nora, I know you mean well,¡¨ Evangeline sighed, glanced at the door, and fiddled with her napkin. John and I had bigger problems than Natalie.¡¨

What is his inabilities to say the words¡¨.¡¨ Nora sounded more like she was in the courtroom cross-examining a witness instead of Rodi's having lunch with a friend. ¡§Well, I know and have seen that he has given you the words¡¨ in every fashion and form. The man can't get enough of telling and showing you how much he loves you.¡¨

You don¡¦t understand Nora.¡¨ Evangeline tried and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she looked around the room.

Do you understand¡KOkay, alright. I don¡¦t understand then, help me.¡¨ Nora demanded. Evangeline, look at me, look at me!¡¨

Evangeline locked eyes with her comrade.

You love John. Why won¡¦t you give him a second chance?¡¨ Nora queried. ¡§You know. I rarely if ever admit I was wrong, but I was wrong about John.¡¨

Okay. I have one bacon cheeseburger with extra tomatoes and bacon with onions rings on the side.¡¨ The waitress interrupted placing Nora's order in front of her.

Evangeline was thankful for the interruption as she shifted in her seat and prepared herself to eat. She figured the arrival of their food would help her dodge her friends questioning. She wished she had answers for her girl, but she had been asking herself the same questions.

Twenty minutes without McBain¡¦s name being mentioned, Evangeline figured Nora had tabled her inquiries on John. They had talked about everything from the up coming award ceremony for Llanview¡¦s finest to some recent events in town. And, Evangeline was surprised and pleased that Nora didn¡¦t mention John¡¦s name when they were discussing the award ceremony.

So, are you going with Hugh to this award ceremony to make John jealous?¡¨ Nora checked her friend¡¦s reaction to the subject matter. ¡§You know, Bo got a table for the award¡¦s dinner again. He thought it would be nice for all of us to sit together.¡¨

Nora, I¡¦m going with Hugh¡Kbecause he asked me first.¡¨ Evangeline rolled her eyes at her friend as she wondered to herself why she thought her best friend would let it go. Nora could be like a dog with a bone sometimes. She smiled inside knowing she had the same trait at times. ¡§John understood¡Kunderstands. It's not like we are dating or anything.¡¨

I wonder how John is going to handle watching you and Hugh together all night.¡¨ Nora couldn¡¦t help but pondered the possible disaster if the Lieutenant couldn¡¦t handle it. You know, John hates seeing you with other men¡Kand I don¡¦t think he's a big fan of Hugh Hughes.¡¨

John is not the type of person to cause a scene, so I think Hugh will be safe.¡¨ Evangeline replied and ate some more of her salad as she contemplated her friend¡¦s scenario. She knew it would be torture for John to watch her with Hugh, and she was delighted over the fact. It wasn¡¦t like she was setting things up that way. Honestly, until now, she hadn¡¦t even thought about it.

Would it bother you if John was escorting someone else?¡¨ Nora baited.

You¡Kyou are¡Kimpossible.¡¨ Evangeline crossed her legs and placed her hands in her lap and glared at the woman grinning across from her. She shook her head at the older woman and sucked her teeth as she realized only in the courtroom was she going to beat Nora Hanen. But, she knew John wouldn¡¦t take anyone else, because he only wanted to be with her. He learned from his mistake with Natalie, and she knew he wouldn¡¦t place another woman in that predicament. John wanted her, and he¡¦s not making any secrets about it. So, what was her problem? John¡KJohn said he probably won't attend Bo isn't making it mandatory.¡¨

I can change that if you want.¡¨ She smirked. And, you didn't answer my question.¡¨

You know like I know John hates formal events.¡¨ Evangeline shrugged as she reached for her water glass. ¡§He¡¦s always joking that he would rather have a root canal done without anesthesia.¡¨

So, it would bother you to see him with someone?¡¨ Nora raised her right eyebrow as she teasingly grilled Evangeline. I'm asking a direct question, and I feel I deserve a direct answer.¡¨

Evangeline wanted to say with confidence It wouldn't happen¡¨ instead she answered. If John had a date, I would be okay with it, but, John has already told me if he couldn't go with me he would be attending alone.¡¨

Watch out Hugh Hughes.¡¨ Nora laughed.



John¡¦s Apartment ¡V a week later

Thanks for having dinner with me.¡¨ John dried the last plate from dinner with the dishcloth he was holding then studied Evangeline. She had insisted on helping him do the dishes since he cooked.

I ran out of excuses.¡¨ She teased avoiding eye contact. He had asked her over for dinner every night since she went to the award ceremony with Hugh. The night turned out wonderfully; even though, she had to call both men on the carpet thirty minutes after John¡¦s arrival. She wasn¡¦t going to be in the middle of any pissing contest. For the rest of the night, both John and Hugh were respectful of the others position and her feelings. But, she had to be honest with herself. John was wearing her down with the attention he was showering her.

John glanced around the kitchen and noticed Chance was over in the corner sleeping on the floor vent. He smiled slightly then turned his attention to his guest. She had been abnormally quiet tonight. They have been talking non-stop for the last couple of weeks in almost every form of communication possible. He smiled as he thought about some of her texts and emails.

So, Sunshine, why are you so quiet tonight?¡¨ John teased knowing she wasn¡¦t going to give him a retort. The night she told him to go rent Harlem Nights for his answer on why she chose SunshineESQ as her screen name he did. A woman in the movie was described to have a treasure between her legs so good that if you threw it up in the air, it would turn into sunshine. He knew first hand Cookie could claim to be the original for that nickname. She had him turned out since the first night they were together, but he¡¦ll never tell her. He smiled for days agreeing with and using the nickname for her. It slightly bothered him when she confessed later that an old boyfriend whose name was Harlem ironically stole it from the movie for her. He was pleased reality took over his stupid male ego because he knew she wasn¡¦t a virgin. They both had their share of lovers, but he and Evangeline were soulmates. They were destined to be together. Hon, you want to talk about whatever got you deep in thought?¡¨

Evangeline smiled weakly then pulled the chain on the sink stopper. I was just thinking, I didn't know you knew how to cook.¡¨ She looked up into his mesmerizing blue eyes and saw love and patience. She also saw that he knew she was avoiding whatever she was brooding over.

Well, I didn¡¦t know I could cook either.¡¨ He commented shoving his hands into his pockets feeling the temptation to reach out and touch her increasing rapidly. I picked up a few things when I was taking care of my grandfathe He love eggs.¡¨

It was surprisingly delicious.¡¨ She ran her fingers through her hair and walked over to the island and leaned against it. ¡§I never had an Irish omelet. You have to give me the recipe.¡¨

Only if you let me¨ He waited until she looked at him with her dark chocolate eyes. He saw the curiosity in her eyes, as she remained silence as he continued. ¡§Make Denver omelet for you tomorrow.¡¨

Denver omelet.¡¨ Evangeline chewed on her bottom lip and wondered if she would be pushing her luck with allowing him to cook for her two days in a roll. Her heart was melting. She studied him for a minute and knew he was her destiny, but why couldn¡¦t she take the leap into this relationship. ¡§We will see?¡¨ She answered moving around to the other side of the island.

Okay.¡¨ John replied watching her. He vowed to himself to give her all the time she needed to accept that they were meant to be together. ¡§Would you like a glass of wine? I picked up a bottle from Nash's vineyard.¡¨

I've love a glass.¡¨ She responded watching him walk over to the refrigerator. But, I really should be going. I have a big day tomorrow.¡¨

All work and no play, Counselor.¡¨ John smiled at her as he read the desire in her eyes while he stood by the fridge. The last time those words were spoken between the two of them she had said them to him. And, he remembered like it was yesterday; even though, it has been over a year. How they played that day. It was magical like all their times together were. ¡§Are you sure? We could listen to some music, drink some wine, and look at the stars from the window.¡¨

Look at the stars.¡¨ Evangeline couldn't help laughing. McBain, I didn't know you had such an interest in astrology.¡¨

I don't¨ He admitted fighting the urge to reach out for her and touch her soft skin. ¡§My interest is solely in Evangeline Cookie¡¨ Williamson.¡¨

You are too much.¡¨ She laughed and started towards the front room. Thank you for tonight. I really had a good time.¡¨

You¡¦re welcome...only the best for you.¡¨ John spoke her Uncle¡¦s words to him. Evangeline looked into his eyes and felt overwhelmed by the love she saw in them. She quickly turned realizing she had to leave soon if she was going to leave at all.

Goodnight John.¡¨ She walked over to the door.

Let me walk you down.¡¨ He offered grabbing her purse that she was forgetting.

No.¡¨ Evangeline spun around and shook her head determined. There is no need. This is¡Kthis wasn¡¦t a date.¡¨ Seeing the pain in his eyes, she regretted her words. I'll be okay making it one flight down, John.¡¨ She reached for her purse making sure she didn't touch his hand. Thanks again for tonight.¡¨

John remained quiet as he watched her walk out his front door. He looked down at Chance and sighed.

I have one more hand, and I'm putting everything on the table with it.¡¨ He informed the dog then turned to go take his routine cold shower. He had found that the cold showers slightly helped pacify his desire for his true love. He prayed he could break through Evangeline¡¦s defensives soon, but if not, he¡¦ll wait a lifetime. It has been proven that what his body, soul, and mind needed was her and only her.



Evangeline walked into her apartment debating whether or not she did the right thing leaving John¡¦s apartment. She had to admit with every encounter they had a piece of her imagery wall was coming down. She yearned for him. He was still the only man who could take her into his arms and make her forget about everything else in the world. He was still the only man she wanted. Sighing, she tossed her purse on the couch and noticed something white fell to the floor. She walked over to it, picked it up, and tried to recognize the greeting card size envelope. She also tried to recall when she placed it inside her purse. Was she losing her mind?

When she opened the envelope she found two-pieces of paper and a CD. She was puzzled when she saw the familiar handwriting was John¡¦s. Still holding all the contents of the envelope, she opened the first letter and began reading.

Evangeline,

I remember you once told me to prove I didn¡¦t want to lose you. I am attempting to do that now. They say never too late, and I implore that is true. I hope after tonight, you no longer have a single doubt in your mind about how I feel for you and my commitment to you. I don¡¦t want to miss out on the best thing that has happened between the two of us. I know I said I will accept your offer of friendship, but you know all is fair in love. I vow never to give you less than every-
thing I have inside of me. There will never be another mystery on how I feel about you. Evangeline, you have forever been in my heart and thoughts since that first kiss at the Palace. You are my Lady in Red, and I¡¦m never going to let you go. You stood up in front of a
crowd in hopes to break through to my heart. I¡¦m offering you a poem straight from my heart. Please, bare with me. I have never verbalized my love in this fashion, but I hope you enjoy. Also, here¡¦s a CD especially for you. I will never think of torturing you with an attempt to sing, but you deserve nothing but the best yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Love, John

Evangeline didn¡¦t bother wiping the tears running down her cheek, because she figured there would be more. She opened the second sheet of paper to reveal a poem titled, ¡§Everything I Have Inside¡¨.

In the opening of the poem, John expressed his foolishness of letting a precious love slip through his life. There was no assumption that the writer regretted the mistakes of thinking with his mind and not with his heart. He said he did in plain English. He mentioned the mistakes he made on correcting his shortcomings and the penance he ordained for his life. He exposed a man who never felt good enough to a man who would always be the best for his love.

She finally wiped her right cheek as the words from his epic pierced her heart. She looked towards Heaven, inhaled, prayed for God to help her, exhaled, and continued reading.

John¡¦s poetry described his feelings and their love in an intoxicating, mesmerizing, and surviving manner. He had her attention as her eyes scanned over statements he had made in the past that he placed to make his meaning clear. She recalled when he said ¡§they were worth fighting for¡¨, what we had no one could ever take away¡¨, ¡§you¡¦re the woman I want to be with yesterday, today, and tomorrow¡¨, and ¡§even if I get torn apart again, you are worth it¡¨.

By the middle, he offered pleads for forgiveness and new beginnings. He summarized their possible future with five elegant and romanticized phrases. At the end, he presented her with promises of a whole new world if given the chance. He conveyed a declaration that he had never felt a love like theirs. He articulated on how he¡¦ll give anything to get her to take a chance again. He finished his poem with saying she was everything he ever wanted, and he was surrendering everything he had inside to her.

Evangeline sniffed, wiped her nose with her left index finger, and pushed her hair behind her left ear. The pull on her heart for this man was so great. She closed her eyes and prayed for strength as she looked at the CD in her hands. She walked over to her CD player and pushed the open/close button. Placing the CD insides, she noticed the writing on the CD. He titled the CD. It was the same as the poem. She appreciated even more the significance of the poem and CD. John McBain wasn¡¦t the type of man to do either¡Knot even for the woman he loved. She pressed play then ran both of her hands through her hair. She closed her eyes, and she felt the connection between herself and John at that moment like she never felt it before. As she listened to the CD, she knew which verses from the songs he desired to penetrate her heart. She willed herself to psychologically focus on the words.

Evangeline found herself slowly opening her heart as she allowed the tears to flow down her face as she continued to listen to the CD. He included Selena¡¦s ¡§Dreaming of You¡¨ and Jaheim¡¦s ¡§Forever¡¨. These two songs were sung at her cousin¡¦s wedding, which they were in the wedding party. These two songs gave her a moment to get control over her emotions; even though, the meanings were just as powerful as the others. In this moment, she thought about the sequences of the songs, and she could see John wondering what order to put the songs and why. She smiled as his choices confirmed his inexperience. The next songs were old school slow jams ¡§Weak¡¨ a cappella version by SWV and ¡§If This World Was Mine¡¨ by Luther Vandross and Cheryl Lynn. And, suddenly, the words of the songs took over her again. She didn't know she had moved from in front of the stereo, but she felt the wall behind her as she searched for a place to escape. Knowing her back was literally against the wall, she slide down the wall to the floor. She placed her hand over her mouth then her heart as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to surrender to the love she felt for John. Her free hand reached for something and landed on the carpet beside her. The lyrics from the songs continued to engulf her like a mystical force.

When American Idol contestant Katharine McPhee song ¡§My Destiny¡¨ started, Evangeline totally yielded to her feelings, and instead of hearing the woman who was actually singing the song, she heard the husky sexy voice of the man she was in love with affirming the words.

I have always dreamed of this
I'll admit that there was something I missed
Wonderin' if it is for real
Every mistake, every wrong turn
Every time I lost my way
Led me to this, moment of bliss, tonight

With you, finally I can break free
With you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned out to be

You were always by my side
That you believed in me was enough reason why
I didn't stop, didn't give up
Even if I sometimes lost hope
I did my best, and I am blessed
In life

With you, finally I can break free
With you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned to be

Can I get any higher
Tell me, does it get any stronger?
I owe it to you, that I made it through
I never could've done it, without you

With you, I can break free, yeah
With you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned out to be

[Oh, cause of you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned out to be
I've realized that it's my destiny

John opened the door to his condo wearing only pajama bottoms. He blinked several times as he focused on the image before him. When he recognized Evangeline standing before him, his heart started beating triple time. He wiped his mouth as he witnessed the tears streaming down her cheeks, and misinterpreted their meaning. He started to open his mouth, and she covered them with her own. He automatically buried one hand in her thick mane and used the other one to cup her face.

Within seconds, the kiss exploded into a hungry reclaiming of their souls. They both felt a completeness within themselves that was unexplainable. They moderately experienced this feeling earlier in their relationship after John had attached a string to her wrist and offered her a commitment. But this amazing occurrence was an unification of their entity. Both knew in this instant that they were each other¡¦s destiny.

“YES!” Evangeline shouted and jumped up before pointing eagerly at the monitor above her. “LOOK! LOOK!…YOU SEE MY TURKEY! YOU SEE MY TURKEY!”

“Vangie will you please quiet down. You’re causing a scene.” Layla demanded faking embarrassed by her sister’s outburst. She was actually more embarrassed by their score. This was their second game and John and Evangeline were beating the pants off her and Vincent. She rolled her eyes at Vincent. He was hitting an average of three to four pins the whole night. “Besides, it’s just a game.”

“Oh, Lay, you weren’t saying that in the car now were you….let me see. Vangie watch out because Vincent and I are going to wipe the floor with you and Irish boy.” Evangeline ribbed as she walked over to John and kissed him on the lips. “McBain, show me you can knock down a few pins.”

John wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his hands in her back jean pockets to pull her closer to him. He basked in the love that filled and completed him for Evangeline.

“What do I get if I knock them all down?” He inquired kissing her passionately for a second then looked into her shining dark chocolate eyes. Evangeline was so competitive, but apparently it is a family trait.

For Thanksgiving they decided to drive to Silver Springs, Maryland and have dinner with her family. And, for what he observed Evangeline and Layla Williamson received the competitive gene from both side of their parents’ families. He smiled inside at the hilarious memory of seeing first hand how competitive the Williamsons clan could be.

Then, his thoughts went to the private conversations he had with his woman’s mother, Lisa and uncle, Clay. Not only had he won the heart of his soul mate again, he also won the heart of her family. He couldn’t say again because he couldn’t think of a one that liked him before. But, he was the only one to blame for that. Evangeline’s family always wanted the best for her, and her father taught her not to settle. John was more than touched when Uncle Clay placed him in the best category while he made the toss at dinner. He silently prayed he’d never let this wonderful woman down again.

Evangeline’s moving brought him back to the present. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled devilishly at him as she acted as though she was going to kiss him. Her lips were right in front of his and he felt her breath as she said, “The question, Lieutenant, is what you won’t be getting if you don’t.”

John smiled as she stepped out of his hold and plopped down in the seat in front of their monitor. He watched as she quickly turned her attention to Vincent who was excited about something.

“What are you happy about Vincent?” Layla snapped rolling her neck and pointing down the lane. “You still have three pins standing down there.”

John watched as Evangeline glanced down the alley then sat back and crossed her arms in front of her chest to observe their competition. She knew her sister was frustrated by Vincent’s nonchalant attitude towards the game.

“Layla, for the first time tonight I didn’t get a gutter ball.” Vincent explained offering her his pearly whites.

“And, you didn’t get a strike, you idiot.” Layla rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I need a new partner…didn’t you say Nora and Mathew were coming.”

Evangeline laughed as she turned to her boyfriend. “Your turn, John.”

John walked over to retrieve his bowling ball.

“John wait.” Evangeline slide out of her seat and walked over to him.

“Evangeline, you can’t give him pointers.” Layla jumped out of her seat and placed her hand on her hip. “That’s cheating.”

“Calm down little sis.” The older Williamson smiled as John patiently waited for her reason in stopping him. “My man doesn’t need any pointers.” Her eyes flashed at Vincent who was sitting down looking around then back at her sister. “I just want to answer his question about what he gets if he knocks down all the pins on the first try.” She leaned in and whispered in her Irishman’s ear.

Layla glared at her sister as she noticed a wide grin appear on John’s face.

“I don’t know what she is telling him, but he is going to knock down all those pins.” Vincent commented standing as he studied the other’s man expression. “I’m going to get something to eat and drink…you want something Layla?”

“No.” Layla pouted as she continued to watch her sibling. The eldest Williamson finally ended her incentive with a fervent kiss.

Evangeline confidently walked back to her seat and noticed Vincent was gone.

“Where did Vincent go?” She whispered making sure she didn’t interrupt John’s concentration. When her sister didn’t answer, she glanced back at the lobby area and spotted Nora and Mathew walking in. She jumped up and waved making sure she didn’t make any distracting noise.

“YES!” John shouted, and Layla groaned as she looked down the alley to see he made a strike.

“Layla stop getting mad.” Evangeline ordered then tried to encourage her. “Next game I’ll play with my right hand.”

“Evangeline, that little scam won’t work with me.” Layla stood and glared at her sister. “I know Daddy taught you how to master all sports with both hands.”

“Even tennis?” John questioned remembering how she told him the same thing after he vowed never to play with her again. He was tired of getting beat to shame.

“Especially tennis.” Layla offered her sister a knowing smile then walked off to join Vincent.

“She’s just a sore loser…always have been.” Evangeline smiled at John as he started to question her about the switching of the hands theory she always offered him and anyone else who complained about losing against her. “I’m good with my hands…always have been.” Her eyes sweep over his body. “And, I’ll be good with them later on tonight.”

“Well, hey, you guys.” Nora greeted sitting her bowling ball bag on the counter. “What’s wrong with Layla?”

“She has the Williamson’s competitive gene.” John answered before Evangeline could say anything. “God help our child if she inherit that trait.”

Evangeline and Nora gasped in unison as they stared at John.

“What?” John smiled as he studied Evangeline then stepped over to kiss her fully on the lips. “I’m going to escape before you two get into your little competitive war. I think Hanens are in the same boat as Williamsons in that area…we’ll be in the arcade room.”

“Cool John.” Mathew excitedly followed his lead. “They have this cool game here called Space and Dungeon.”

“Space and Dungeon.” John mocked his excitement and kissed Evangeline again before following behind Mathew.

“Are you pregnant?” Nora questioned looking down at her stomach.

“No!” Evangeline protested shock. “Why would you ask that?”

“You do realize John McBain just made a public and open statement about having children with you.” Nora didn’t hide her surprise. “I mean I know the man changed…him playing tennis and going to the ballet proves that, but…DAMN! I didn’t think he would ever want to reproduce.”

“McBain wants more than kids.” Evangeline smiled and ignored her friend’s confused look.

Evangeline recalled a conversation she had with John not too long ago. She asked John if he wanted kids, and he told her he wanted marriage first. She watched as he handed Mathew some quarters for the pinball machine then looked up and mouthed “I love you” to her before giving the boy his complete attention. She knew he had marriage on his mind, and he was giving her time to accept the idea. Well, McBain, it’s already done. You have a guaranteed “Yes” when you’re ready.

For the rest of the night John and Mathew played video games in the Bowling Alley’s arcade room while Vincent and Layla enjoyed a friendly and loving game of pool. Every now and then the four of them heard Nora and Evangeline arguing in the lanes, but none of them had the courage to intervene. After four tying games John ordered his woman to call a truce, so they could go home. He was more than ready to call in his incentive for getting his final strike.


Evangeline’s apartment


“Vangie, come on gurl.” Layla yelled from her sister’s couch as she grabbed the remote from Vincent. “We won’t be here that long…Vangie, we’ve been waiting for ten minutes.”

“I’ll go get her.” John stepped towards the bedroom.

“The hell you will.” Vincent jumped up off the couch alarming everyone in the room. Layla watched as her man walked around the couch and stood in front of John. “The last time we sent you back to the room to get Evangeline I lost two hundred dollars on theatre tickets.”

“Yeah,” Michael joined. “Marcie, you remember when we had tickets to the Eagles and Cowboys game…we missed the first two quarters because you went to get E.”

“Hey, I gave you two hundred dollars.” John stated to Vincent then turned to his brother. “And, the Eagles lost anyway.”

Layla and Marcie laughed as Vincent and Michael glared at John who tried to fake innocent.

“You two are worst than newlyweds.” Vincent snapped remembering when he and Layla acted this way, and Rex and Adriana complained about them. He noted competitiveness wasn’t the only family trait the girls shared. “Layla or Marcie can go get Evangeline.”

“Vincent, no one needs to come and get me.” Evangeline walked out smelling like Flowers in Springtime. She walked eagerly into John’s embrace and gave him a kiss fully on the lips before turning to the other occupants. “So, where are we going tonight?”

“How about the Thalia?” Marcie suggested looking up at Michael. “I saw in the paper where they have a new classical there tonight.”

“No.” The younger Williamson asserted. “I’m not listening to those two make out for a whole movie again.”

“Whatever Layla!” Evangeline giggled and pointed her finger at her sister as John admired her Donna Karan pants and shirt she wore. “You’re exaggerating.”

“She’s right Layla.” Vincent supplied. “They started after the opening credits ended and stopped ten minutes before the ending credits started. So, it wasn’t the whole movie really.”

John laughed as Evangeline pretended to glare at her sister and her sister’s boyfriend.

“Okay. How about miniature golf?” Michael proposed but was quickly given a firm no in unison from John, Layla, and Vincent.

“We ain’t doing anything that involves competition with Evangeline.” Vincent stated sitting back down by Layla who started laughing at her sister.

“Hey!” Evangeline glanced at Vincent, her sister, then John. When John shrugged, she hit him teasingly on the chest and smiled when he tighten his embrace around her. “I’m not that bad.”

“Yes you are, hon.” John kissed her on the lips. “But you are still beautiful.”

“Please.” Layla waved her hand dismissing their show of affection. “How about dancing at Capricorn?”

“Come on Layla. You won’t have any fun there.” Marcie whined. “You work there. You know someone will ask you to do something.”

All six adults nodded their heads in silent agreement.

“How about we go to Bayberry Inn?” Evangeline recommended looking at everyone as John started to caress her back tenderly. “They have wonderful food.”

“I’m not hungry.” Layla replied taking the remote away from her boyfriend again.

“How about a game of Taboo?” John offered observing Evangeline. “We can team up as couples again.”

“No!” Came in unison from Michael and Marcie while “Hell no!” came in unison from Vincent and Layla.

“You two are unnaturally in sync.” Vincent complained turning on the television to the ESPN. “Layla didn’t talk to me for three days after our last game.”

Evangeline laughed as she witnessed her sister rolling her eyes at the comment.

“Yeah, I was in the dog house too.” Michael added. “For a week all I heard was why can’t you be more like John this or why can’t you be more like John that…or if it was John with Evangeline he would have gotten that…I could do without another repeat.”

Marcie playfully tap Michael’s arm. When the other two couples noticed John and Evangeline were quiet, they looked up to find them kissing and basking in their love.

“Okay. Rodi’s.” Michael decided pushing his brother intentionally forcing them to break the kiss. “We can play couple pool, eat, and listen to some music.”

“I can live with Rodi’s.” Layla caressed Vincent’s leg as she agreed. “We can do some dancing too.”

“Rodi’s it is.” John said kissing Evangeline briefly then saying he loved her.

Evangeline couldn’t help but glance at the other occupants in the room who were all moving towards the door. She knew they heard him, but no one acknowledged his words or seemed surprise by John’s confession of love. His laugh brought her attention back to him.

“Honey, I was the only fool blinded by my love for you.” He kissed her again. “Everyone else saw it as clear as day.”


First Saturday after the New Year


John walked into the living room of Evangeline’s condo to find her sitting on the couch watching Jeopardy. He smiled when he noticed the bowl of cereal in front of her. He leaned against the wall and silently admired her. She was wearing one of his LPD t-shirts, and since it covered her body to mid thigh, he wondered if she had on anything underneath it.

Evangeline was so focused on the show and her cereal she didn’t notice him. His smile broadened when his gorgeous lady answered the questions with the correct response. She popped some cereal in her mouth and waited for the next clue. After four correct responses, he pushed off the wall and headed towards her.

“Williamson, you broke house rules.” He stated.

She finally glanced in his direction and smiled.

“Hey you, how was your nap?” She asked focusing her attention back on the game show and answering with the wrong response. She frowned then popped some more cereal in her mouth.

“I would still be napping if my cuddling partner hadn’t left the bed.” He lifted her feet up that were crossed at her ankles and placed them on his lap when he sat down. Again, she answered a question giving the correct response. “You know the punishment for leaving the other in the bed, Evangeline.”

Hmm. Was her only reply, as the television remained her focal point. She answered another question and found out it was the wrong answer when the response was read because none of the contestants knew the answer.

“I see you are taking your crime lightly.” John caressed her bare calves parting her legs as he positioned himself between them. “Normally, since this is your first offense, I would go easy on you, but you aren’t taking your action serious.”

“J-john, you started snoring, so I couldn’t enjoy television in the bedroom. Besides, jeopardy is on the TIVO in here.” Evangeline giggled and kicked him playfully trying to stop his hands from traveling up her long toned legs. “We had a deal…you don’t try to seduce me why I’m watching Jeopardy…and I don’t try to seduce you while you are watching any sports.”

“We also had a deal not to leave the other in bed alone on Saturdays…and, I don’t snore, sweetheart.” John grabbed the bowl and placed it on the coffee table before lying on top of her and allowing his hands to explore underneath her shirt. “And, you know the punishment for your offense.”

“Stop John.” She demanded as his hands explored her body, and she tried to continue watching the game show. “You’re going to make me miss the daily double. And, all these topics are challenging to me.”

“Come on Vange…you can watch it later.” John tried to kiss the spot on her neck that he knew was a sure point of no return for her. “You have it recorded on the TIVO anyway.”

“John, stop.” Evangeline pushed against his chest as she adjusted so he couldn’t kiss her neck and had to move his hand. “I’m serious.”

He studied her serious expression and pondered his next course of action. He glanced at the television and smiled as he came up with his strategy.

“Okay, counselor.” He repositioned his body into a more comfort position between her legs and continued to caress her thigh. “Since you don’t want to pay for your crime…how about this. If I get the next three answers right…we make passionate love right now on this couch with you being the dominant one.”

Evangeline couldn’t help but laugh as she decided to humor him. She knew John was intelligent, but she wouldn’t call him a scholar or anything. John was her equal in every way physically and mentally, but they also had greater strength that accented the others intellect. His strength was his advanced street smarts while she was an excellent learned pupil.

“What do I get when you get the answers wrong?” She amused confident that she knew her man.

“When AND answers? Thanks for the support.” John noted giving her a hurt expression, which quickly turned into a mischievous one. His caressing of her thigh was turning into a seductive massage inching closer and closer to having his way with her. “WHEN I get the answers wrong,” He continued to mock her. “You get to make passionate love to me with me being the dominant one.”

“A win-win for you I see.” She glanced at the television then her eyes landed on his hands as his eyes remained on her face. She knew he was observing the affect he was having on her. Her body was getting hotter and hotter with each motion of his hand, but she was determined to have some fun with him first. He knew the rules they had when the other was indulged in tube. A luxury they rarely took advantage of. So what, she left him in bed. Television was different. “McBain, I accept your challenge, but you must answer six questions correctly, and in form of Jeopardy’s standard question format…” She glared at him smiling. “So, can you handle the who was? who is? what is? McBain.”

John glanced at the television then at his beautiful woman. He couldn’t wait to make her Mrs. John Tighe McBain, but he was waiting for one special day. Curving his lips up and looking back into her dark chocolate eyes, which were shining from her competitiveness, he grinned and asked her what the stakes were. He watched as her eyes went towards the ceiling as she pondered his question. When her glaze returned to him, he saw the mischievousness in her gaze.

“IF you get them all right, I’ll let you use your crime scene kit tonight.” Her smile widened when he started shaking his head no and removed his hand from its cozy spot.

“That’s a treat for you Ms. Williamson.” He sat up slightly remembering the last time they experimented with his kit. “You enjoyed that more than I did.”

“Okay.” She agreed pushing some hair behind her left ear and pondered the stakes again. Her eyes lit up as she looked back at him. “Okay…Okay…You get to play with the camera…a-and I’ll do the belly dancing thang.”

“Belly dancing thang?” John leaned back into her and placed his hand back on her thigh offering his complete submission. “And, what do you get WHEN I get all the ANSWERS wrong?”

“WHEN…” She mocked smiling. “I get to use the crime scene kit tonight and get to be the cop.”

“You get to be the cop.” He repeated twice as he watched her smile and giggle. “If you are the cop that makes me…”

“The suspect.” She cupped his face and pulled him in for a passionate kiss that she broke quickly. “Can you handle being someone other than the copper?”

Evangeline watched as his clear blue eyes glanced over at the television then settled back on her eyes.

“You’re on.” He whispered before covering her lips with his and his hands sliped to that fimilar place. When she moaned her pleasure in how he decided to seal the deal, she frowned when he broke the kiss and turned his attention to the game show hosted by Alex Trebek.

When the contestant whom was defending the championship asked for Animal Quotes for $200, John titled his head, glanced at Evangeline, and listened as the question was read. JOHN DONNE CALLED IT “NATURE’S GREAT MASTERPIECE…THE ONLY HARMLESS GREAT THING; THE GIANT OF BEASTS.”

“What is the elephant?” John answered before the champion had a chance to. He didn’t want his beautiful counselor to have any excuse not to pay up when he won.

The champion answered with the same answer he supplied, and Trebek confirmed it was right. Evangeline shrugged and said, “That was an easy one.”

“It was.” John agreed smiling as the defender picked $400 from the same topic. MARK TWAIN SAID, “IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF THIS ANIMAL “IN THE FIGHT, IT’S THE SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN” THIS ANIMAL.

“What is a dog?” Again, John answered before the contestant did. He grinned when she glanced at the television, then him. He couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Another easy one.”

Evangeline nodded as she masked her developing intrigue. John ignored her as he focused back on the game show and answered two more questions correctly. The participator selected the topic A Time To Die for $800. AFTER A DECADES-LONG BATTLE TO RECLAIM HER THRONE, THIS FORMER QUEEN DIED NOV. 11, 1917 IN HONOLULU, HAWAII.

“Who is Liliuokalani?” John responded confident. When Evangeline confessed she didn’t know the answer to that one, he glanced at her then heard Alex tell the champion he was wrong. They both looked back at the television when Alex offered the other two opponents a chance to answer. Neither spoke. Alex supplied the answer that matched John’s.

Evangeline grabbed the remote and pressed the pause button. For a few seconds John continued to look at the still screen, but then he felt her glaze on him. He looked at her concerned at first, but he quickly read her reason in those striking chocolate eyes of hers.

“I haven’t watched this show, hon.” He chuckled and wasn’t offended by her thoughts. Most people would have thought the only way he could have answered the questions was if he watched the episode before hand. He knew she was going to be surprised. “Now, turn back on the show…I have one more question.”

When she didn’t comply, he looked back at her and saw she wasn’t convinced. He smiled then caressed her cheek loving as she gaped at him. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips as he grabbed the remote and pressed the play button.

The final question for him was Elvis for $800. ELVIS GAVE HIS PINK CADILLAC TO THIS WOMAN, HIS MOTHER; SHE LOVED RIDING IN IT BUT DIDN’T DRIVE.

“Who is Gladys?” John beamed and turned to Evangeline who was speechless. “And, I win, counselor.”

He captured her lips before she had a chance to think of anything else. She couldn’t believe John was still full of surprises. She allowed herself to dwell on it for a second before succumbing completely to his seduction.


January 19th Evangeline’s Birthday


“Evangeline Williamson.” Evangeline answered her cell phone as she stepped on the elevator of her condo complex and pushed the button for her floor. “Hey Yvi.” She greeted her cousin, Yvonne. “How are you…thank you…I’m having a wonderful birthday…John started early this morning with breakfast in bed. And, then, he came to my office with flowers and to take me to lunch…and for dinner he made reservations at Bayberry Inn. I’m headed to my apartment now to get ready.”

When the elevator doors opened, Evangeline stepped out and headed to her apartment. She continued her conversation with her cousin as she entered her home and disarmed her alarm. She looked over in the living room and smiled when she saw two-dozen red roses in vases and three balloons on the coffee table. Two of the balloons had Happy Birthday on them and one had I Love You. Walking over to admire them closely, she noticed two packages beside them.

As she continued to converse with her cousin, she picked one of the packages up and read the return address. It was from John’s mom. She smiled as she remembered how joyful John’s Mom was during her Christmas and New Year’s visit. Eve was more than thankful that Evangeline decided to give her son a second chance.

Evangeline glanced at the sender of the second package. Her eyes started tearing as she placed Eve’s package down and picked up the second one. Her heart filled with the happiness she felt of John’s family welcoming her unconditionally. She knew they weren’t going to be a problem, but she still couldn’t help being overwhelmed by their blessings.

“Yvi, I’m sorry.” She apologized when she realized her cousin was calling her name. “I just noticed a package John’s grandfather sent me…yeah, the one in Dublin.”

She answered her cousin trying to compose herself. She was being silly. She acted the same way when she received his Christmas present. She remembered how she insisted on calling to thank him, and John telling her they had to IM because he wouldn’t answer his phone. After four minutes of IMing, Grandpa McBain had requested they call, because he wanted to hear Evangeline’s voice.

Hearing a beep, she pulled the phone from her ear and looked at the caller ID. “Yvonne, it’s John. Let me talk to you later…thank you again…okay…love you.”

“Hey you.” Evangeline answered clicking over the call quickly after saying goodbye to her cousin.

“Hey back at you.” John’s husky voice traveled through the phone.

“Thanks for the flowers and balloons and for bringing my mail up.” She placed the package back on the coffee table.

“So, what did the old man send you?”

“John, I haven’t opened the package yet. I just saw it.” Evangeline laughed as she headed to her bedroom. She wasn’t sure if his jealousy was genuine or not. John has made several comments about his grandfather’s attention towards her.

“What have you been doing since you got home?” John questioned not realizing he was putting his foot in his mouth.

“How do you know how long I have been home?” Evangeline inquired with a laugh.

“I gave the door man twenty dollars to call me…you know, the old man has a crush on you, right.” He stated referring to his grandfather. “Him calling is evidence of that…he can’t call his grandsons, but he can call you because he has to hear your voice.”

“Now, McBain…aren’t you the one who says everyone falls for me.” She teased opening her bedroom door. “Besides, if you’re taking care of me I won’t have a need to look…ohimgod, John.”

“Is that taking care of you enough?” His smile could be heard through the phone.

Evangeline couldn’t stop the tears from escaping her eyes as she took in the sight before her. John had decorated her bedroom with various birthday party favors. Her ceiling was covered with Happy Birthday prismatic swirl decorations and balloons that were hanging from her ceiling. He had personalized banners on each of her walls. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVANGELINE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY COOKIE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY COUNSELOR! HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIAMSON! She smiled as she continued to look around. He did a wonderful job, and she couldn’t believe her eyes. She glanced at the bed and noticed he had one of her dresses spread out on top of her bed along with rose pedals. She gasped.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of putting out a dress for you to wear tonight…If you remember, you were wearing that dress the first time we kissed. My lady in red.” He finally spoke knowing the exact moment she saw the dress from her reaction. “I’ve been yours since that night.”

“J-john.” Was all Evangeline could manage.

“Honey, I would love to stay on the phone and just be with you…but, you have to get ready for your birthday dinner.” When he didn’t get a reply, he was a little alarmed. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“I’m more than okay.” Evangeline finally answered. “I love you.”

“I love you more…now get ready, so I can show you. I’ll be down at seven thirty to pick you up.” He laughed and disconnected the call.

Evangeline inhaled and exhaled then reached for her dress.


Later that night at Evangeline’s apartment


“I’m sorry.” Evangeline apologized to John as she caressed his bare back with her hands while he lay on top of her chest. This was one thing that had changed in their afterglow and sleeping habits. Before she would cuddle in his arms or lay against his chest while he held her, but since they reunited she was the one doing the holding. He said he loved to listen to her heartbeat.

“You’re apologizing for that?” He asked astound and chuckled as he slowly came off his high. He would never tell her, but that was the most incredible lovemaking he has ever experienced…including with her. “Believe me. There is no need to apologize for that.”

“John!” She chastised as she playfully hit him on the back. “I was talking about ruining your dinner plans…you went to a lot of trouble to make today special…we didn’t even make it to our dinner reservation.”

“I think the Bayberry will survive…but, I definitely had desert.” He moved up and captured her lips in a kiss that lasted for a few seconds. “It’s okay…if you are hungry I can make you an omelet.”

Evangeline chewed her bottom lip as her eyes scanned her bedroom. She couldn’t believe how wonderful she felt. This was the best birthday ever. He even topped the time three years ago when he gave her his mother’s pearls. She loved the way they made her feel but this.

Her eyes went over all the birthday decorations again, and she was still overwhelmed by her surrounding. To do all this from this morning, he had to take most of the day if not the whole day off to accomplish the scene before her. He gave her the perfect day.

“It’s not over.” He kissed her lips again then crawled out of the bed. “Where are my pants?”

“You want to get dress?” Evangeline wondered slightly confused as she came out of her thoughts and watched him look around for his pants. She covered herself with the sheet while her eyes focused on his naked muscular body. “I’m not hungry.”

“I’m not getting dressed.” He smiled lifting up his pants that were on the chaise across the room and pulled a box out of his back pocket. He glanced at her as he held the jewelry box.

Evangeline quickly noticed the box and felt disappointed because it was too big to be a ring box. She didn’t realize a big part of her was expecting him to propose on today. He had gone beyond the call of the duties of a woman’s man in making this day special for her. Attempting to hide her discontent, she lifted the sheet up to welcome him back into her bed praying he didn’t pick up on her disappointment.

John crawled back under the sheet alongside her smiling. He caught the disappointed gleam in her eyes after he retrieved the box before she recovered. So, Ms. Williamson was ready to say yes, he thought adjusting to a comfortable position in the bed.

The part of him that was use to taking the easy way out wanted to offer her heart’s desire right now. But, the part of him that commanded Evangeline Ella Williamson has nothing but the best from him won out. His need to make Evangeline his wife would have to wait a little bit longer.

“Have I ever told you the meaning of this tattoo?” He asked placing the box on his lap then rubbing the tattoo on his right bicep. He continued when she shook her head no and offered him big curious chocolate eyes with a tilted head. “Well, Ms. Williamson let me tell you the story behind the Claddagh.”

Evangeline listened attentively as he talked about the history of the Claddagh. The story was a romantic one concerning a heartsick, fisherman of Claddagh. She was captivated by the love the man had for his true love in his place of birth. She was drawn in by the tale when he spoke of how the man crafted a unique ring for his love.

Her eyes followed John’s long slender left index finger as he traced his tattoo explaining the meaning of each the heart, crown, and hands designed of the Claddagh.

“You see the heart symbolized the love he had and offered his beloved.” John explained in his husky voice. “The crown was for his loyalty, and the hands on each side of the heart were for friendship.”

“Oh, John.” Evangeline wiped a tear from her right cheek as she kissed him on the lips and thanked him for sharing that with her. “I never thought to ask.”

“Well…I’m telling you so you will understand your gift and more.” He picked up the jewelry box and handed it to her. “Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.”

Evangeline glanced at the box, looked at him, and took it with fresh tears flowing down her cheeks. She leisurely opened the box and felt her heart filling with love. She knew whatever was inside was going to overpower her feelings ten times more than when he gave her his mother’s pearls.

“I hope you like it.” He offered as he examined her face. “I had it handcrafted for you when I was in Ireland.”

“Ohmigod, J-john.” Evangeline had the box opened completely to reveal a gold and diamond Claddagh bangle. Unconscionably, she tossed the lid back onto his lap and reached for the 7.5-inch circumference bracelet. The remaining piece of the box dropped to her lap when she released it. “It’s beautiful.”

John watched as she admired her gift. He asked the jeweler to fill the perfectly formed heart and gentle hands with diamonds. The crown that was atop of the heart was gold like the rest of the bracelet. He also had him added an inch of diamonds on each side of the bracelet starting at the base of the hands.

“There is an inscription on the inside.” He whispered as he caressed her left cheek with his right index finger wiping away fresh tears. He watched quietly as she read the message.

“E, YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW. LOVE J” Evangeline placed her free hand on her chest and turned to him with more fresh tears. “I…I don’t know…what to…say.”

John smiled as she turned her eyes back to the bracelet.

“Thank you. Thank you.” She offered looking back at him.

“Let’s put this on your right wrist with the crown turned outwards.” He started to explain the three ways the Claddagh ring is worn and the meaning behind each one of them. The way he was placing the bracelet on her wrist now showed everyone who knew of the tale that she had a special commitment to someone. “How does it feel?”

John traced her wrist were the bracelet touched her skin.

“It feels amazing.” She captured his lips in a passionate kiss.

Both John and Evangeline were engulfed in the shift of their relationship as they expressed their love, friendship, and loyalty.


February 14, 2008 – Valentine’s Day


Evangeline rushed into Rodi’s and scanned the room for John. She barely noticed Antonio and Jessica in the far corner and a few police officers from the Llanview Department playing pool. She glanced at her watch and realized she wasn’t late like she thought. Actually, she had three minutes to spare before her dinner date with John.

Great! She thought heading to the bar. She could try to contact Assistant District Attorney, Hugh Hughes again. The jury selection for her new case started today, and they have only impaneled one juror all day. When she informed John of her new case and how she felt it was going to be an epic case, he supported her, but he also told her to remember to smell the roses every now and then. Both of them had the ability to get overly involved in their cases, so it was nice to have someone to support you but at the same time keep you grounded.

She closed her phone and cursed when she got Hugh’s voicemail. She was sure he had received the other three messages she left him. She started to dial Nora’s number. She was successful in entering four digits when someone who she was sure was John cleared their throat behind her.

“You are officially off duty now, Counselor.” John informed wrapping his left arm around her waist after she turned to greet him. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“John, it’s not Valentine’s Day…that’s to-morrow.” She replied then noticed the dozen red roses in his hand. She opened and shut her mouth when she scanned the room and noticed the decorations. Mack had Rodi’s set up for patrons who were ready to celebrate their love.

Déjà vu. Her eyes scanned the room again as she took the roses and kissed him again as a thank you. She smiled at him to cover up her embarrassment for forgetting. She quickly remembered their first Valentine’s together and how he forgot.

“John, I’m…sorry.” She turned and placed the flowers on the bar as she ignored the bell on the front door signaling other patrons entering. “I have been so into this case.” She sighed. “I completely forgot about Valentine’s Day.”

“It’s okay as long as I have your undivided attention starting now.” He kissed her then glanced around the room. “Hmm, seems like someone wanted the whole town here tonight. Let’s grab a table before they are all gone.”

Evangeline searched the room as John grabbed her flowers, turned and pointed to the table they sat at three years ago. She was surprised it was unoccupied since it was the closest to the bar. And, she finally noticed the bar seemed to be pack with a lot of familiar faces. Adriana, Rex, Antonio, Jessica, several off duty Llanview Police officers, her assistant, Amy, Marcie, Michael, and Roxy. As John pulled out her chair for her, she heard the bell again from the entry door. She glanced over at the door and was happy when she saw Bo and Nora entering.

“Nora! Good. I was calling her when you arrived.” Evangeline started to rise, but John pushed her gently back down into her seat. “What?”

“Off duty Counselor…it’s Valentine’s day.” He leaned down and covered her lips for a brief passionate kiss. “Lets just enjoy and celebrate our love.”

“Sorry…you’re right.” Evangeline conceded and offered the waitress a smile when she arrived to the table. Her smile and eyes widened as the waitress put a red LED ice wine bucket on the table with a bottle of layer cake shiraz beside the heart cascade centerpiece.

After taking his seat John locked eyes with Evangeline and smiled at her delight of his wine selection. Two weekends ago when they were in Maryland visiting her family, she ordered a glass at dinner and couldn’t stop praising the Australian anomaly.

John was the first to break their glaze when he noticed the waitress reaching for the bottle. She had already placed wine glasses in front of both of them, so the next thing would be to fill them.

“I’ll do that…Thank you.” John politely stated offering her his signature smile.

“Okay.” The waitress glanced over at the bar then returned John’s smile. “Let me know when you’re ready to order.”

Evangeline looked back at the bar and saw Mack staring and smiling at them. Before she turned her attention back to her date, she noticed the owner gestured to the stage. She glanced at John then scanned the room again to see more familiar faces have arrived. She was surprised to see Todd and Blair at Rodi’s for Valentine’s Day.

“Something isn’t right.” She glanced at the bottle of wine in the ice bucket then looked at John. “Did you do all this?”

“Do all what?” John tried to fake innocent.

“Almost all of Llanview is here tonight…Rodi’s doesn’t carry Layer Cake shiraz wine, so you had to have him special order it.”

“Counselor, do you ever let all of this go.” He teased gesturing with his hands as he remembered the first time he asked her that question. He received his first kiss from her; even though, it was a dare kiss. It was still worth calling her on the carpet for being an uptight lawyer who couldn’t let loose.

“McBain answer me.” She ordered pointing a finger at him trying her hardest not to laugh as she too remembered the dare kiss. “Why do you have Todd, Blair, Nora, Bo, Vicki and all of Llanview here when we both know they would normally be at The Palace on Valentine’s?”

“Well, the food is here.” John answered playfully.

“What?” Evangeline replied caught off guard by his answer. Her eyes followed his nod to the menu in front of her. She studied the plastic heart shape menu before picking it up and opening it. She gasped when she saw the menu had all her favorite foods from The Palace. She couldn’t believe her eyes as she looked over the dinner menu. She gasped as she ran her left hand through her hair and looked up at him. “John, you did this for me.”

“Nothing but the best for you,” He corrected and reached for her right hand. “I love you, Evangeline.”

“I love you too.” Evangeline confessed and leaned in to receive his kiss. After a brief passionate kiss, she glanced around the round to find everyone staring at them. She blushed, pushed some hair behind her left ear, and sat back in her seat. “Everyone is staring at us.”

“No…everyone is staring at you.” He teased. “They are mesmerized by your beauty as I am.”

“J-john.” She chewed on her bottom lip as she stared into his crystal blue eyes. “I can’t believe you went through all this trouble.”

“It’s no trouble when I’m showing you how much love I have inside for you.” He stated reaching for her hand again.

“I’m loving this Valentine’s.” Evangeline leaned in and kissed him. When she noticed movement behind him, she looked over at the stage and listened to Mack who announced they would have karaoke tonight. She turned her attention back to John. “You want a song tonight, Johnny Mac?”

“How about we do a duet?” John countered lacing their fingers together and pulling her out of her seat.

Evangeline opened and closed her mouth several times as the room burst into applauds. The LPD who were present started howling and shouting encouragement to John. After helping Evangeline on the stage and attempting to pick out a song, he shot a warning glare at his co-workers, and their group quieted down a little. Officer Murphy, Officer Stokes, Officer Greenly, Officer Prescott, Officer Sermihoff, and Detective Vega were not intimidated by John’s warning and continued their verbal taunt.

“John, you don’t have to do this.” Evangeline offered him an out hearing his colleagues’ gibe. She noticed this time the owner of Rodi’s had a monitor along with an actual karaoke machine. Three years ago they only had a microphone and the instrumental music from the jukebox. “Just the fact that you want to is enough for me.”

“You giving me an out because of those guys.” John stated pretending to look through the small list of song selections. He had coordinated everything with Mack, so he knew his selection was there. He was going through the motion for his beautiful lover’s sake and to give his colleagues a chance to have their fun.

“You know they will tease you for months.” She watched as he glanced over at his co-workers then shrugged. In the last couple of months she has heard John sing in the shower, and she knew the LPD staff would have a field day with him. Little did she know. John has been collecting discriminating evidence for the last couple of months on every LPD employee present.

“You’re worth it.” He assured as he glazed into her chocolate eyes and watched her face light up like a Christmas tree. “Besides, as long as we’re together nothing else matters…this looking for a song thing…it’s not working.”

Evangeline watched as he studied her for a second with his head tilted.

“How about we just stand on the edge of this thing and lets jump together.” His words were more of a statement than a question. Three years ago when he slipped and called her hon. She referenced they were on the edge of their relationship and ready to jump, but it was a leap he couldn’t take. He was more than ready to take any leap with her now.

She suspiciously studied his expression for a second then focused on his extended hand. As she placed her hand into his, her gaze traveled back to his face in time to catch him signaling to Mack to start the music. Still holding her hand, he handed her a wireless microphone with his free hand. Then, he picked up the second microphone and looked down at the monitor in front of them.

As the guys in the LPD calmed down, her attention went to the title and artist that appeared in white writing on the blue monitor screen.

“Jim Brickman. Destiny.” Evangeline glanced at John and saw in his eyes that this too was part of his plans. And, now, she finally knew where and why her CD disappeared. She smiled remembering how he even helped her look for it. She loved this song and actually confessed to him that she wanted it performed at her wedding. Curious, she stared into his eyes for her answer, but he smiled sweetly and nodded to the monitor.

“You lead, counselor.” He pointed to the screen as the music started.

Evangeline glanced at him then the screen as she missed the ooohhh, but she quickly jumped in singing in perfect harmony with her first verses. Her voice revealed how relaxed and confident she was in saying the words. Everyone in the room had heard her angelic voice at least once or twice already in the small town. Though she has proven she could more than carry a tune, her skills weren’t the focus of the audience.

What if I never knew
What if I never found you
I never had
This feeling in my heart

On his cue John picked up his part staring at his lover’s face instead of looking at the screen or audience.

How did this come to be
I don’t know how you found me
But from the moment I saw you
Deep inside my heart I knew

His performance was the complete opposite of hers. He was stiff in delivering his verses, and he was off key. He proved to know the words. But, you could tell he was slightly uncomfortable with his performance; though, you could hear the words were coming deep from his heart.

On his last verse Evangeline glanced at him and was surprised to find him watching her and not the screen. She smiled as she realized he made sure he was prepared for this. John McBain never ceased to amaze her. As the words flooded back into her remembrance, she didn’t bother to glance at the screen for the words to the chorus part they shared. She stared into her man’s crystal blue eyes and allowed her words to flow from her heart and fill the room.

Baby you’re my destiny
You and I were meant to be

As they both took turns declaring their love through this song, they became the only to people in the room. His left hand was entwined with her right, and their eyes were locked on each other. No one else mattered in the room.

When John delivered his next solo line “With all my heart and soul”, Evangeline felt so much love from his words that she was speechless. She couldn’t believe how much she loved this man who was singing off key to her. She was sure the audience felt tortured from his off tune singing, but she could see in his eyes how proud he was of himself. Even as she stood silence, he continued to sing. She smiled when he even sung her parts.

For the first time in her life, Evangeline was receiving clarity from the feelings that were gently engulfing her. She knew without a doubt she needed and wanted more than just success in her career. She wanted and needed a family and not just any family. She wanted this world with no one else but John Tighe McBain. As he continued to sing this song that expressed their mutual feelings, her eyes started watering as she thanked God for her soul mate that she would spend the rest of her life with.

Evangeline snapped out of her thoughts when she felt John releasing her hand. Her eyes focused completely on him as he slowly kneeled on one knee. His piercing blue eyes locked with hers, and she couldn’t look away. She wanted to glance at the audience, but they had a connection going on so strong she couldn’t break it. Her curiosity wasn’t strong enough for their love.

John placed his microphone on the floor then reached for Evangeline’s and did the same with hers. As he pulled out a small jewelry box from his pocket, he continued to stare into her dark chocolate eyes. Mack had changed the record to the instrumental version of the song and turned it down low.

As Evangeline watched him retrieve the ring from the box without taking his eyes off her, she couldn’t control her tears any more. A single tear ran down her right cheek as she stared into confident and assured azure colored eyes. His eyes were like a crystal ball, and she saw their destined future in them. It astounded her how connected they get with each breath.

“Evangeline Ella Williamson.” John started as he gently placed the ring at the tip of her left ring finger. “Will you complete my destiny and become Mrs. John Tighe McBain?”

Evangeline chewed on her bottom lip as she broke their glaze and watched the ring move slowly up her ring finger. She didn’t hear his words; because the beautiful exquisite Claddagh ring he was placing on her finger mesmerized her. It was as unique as their love.

“J-john…” She started as two more tears rolled down her cheek, one on each side. She focused on the position of the heart and crown. She remembered him explaining to her the meaning on how the ring was worn. When the ring was worn on the left hand with the crown nearest the fingernail, it meant the wearer was married. Everything registered completely in her mind, and she looked back into his eyes. She opened her mouth but nothing would come out. She cupped his face firmly and guided him up. Before he was completely standing, she covered his lips with hers.

John wrapped his arms around her small waist and lifted her from the stage as their kiss deepened. She wrapped her arms around his neck and communicated her answer to him. Everyone in the room started clapping and shouting congratulations. Reluctantly, he placed her back on her feet and broke the kiss.

Evangeline watched confused as he closed his eyes and exhaled while he regained his composure. When he opened his eyes and gazed at her, they both knew without a doubt they had found their soul mates.

“Counselor, you said a lot with that kiss.” He commented and winked at her. “But, I need you to say the words.”

“I would love to marry you.” She kissed him and repeated it again.

“Yeah.” He teased kissing her and pulling her closer again.

“Yeah.” Evangeline answered then pouted. As she admired her ring, she thought about her family. She didn’t mean to speak her feelings out loud, but she had. “I wish my Mom and Layla were here to see this.”

“Cookie, of course John invited us.” Lisa Williamson, her mother stated walking on the stage. “Now, let me see my baby’s engagement ring.”

“Mom?” Evangeline exclaimed and stepped out her fiancé’s embrace to greet her family members with a hug. “Uncle Clay…Toni…Brenda.” She greeted her two female cousins and paused when she saw her male cousin. “Henry? I’m surprise.”

“Cookie,” Henry started and embraced her. “I’m glad to finally see you are going to have everything your father ever wanted for you. Your father would be so proud.”

Evangeline was surprised that Dennis was the one to bring up her father. She accepted his embrace and smiled at him. She knew his statement was correct, and it warmed her heart.

“Vangie, Yvi is on the phone and want to shout at you. But, first,” Layla playfully pushed her male cousin aside and stepped in front of her sister. “I want to say congratulations, and I can’t wait to help plan your wedding.”

Evangeline laughed as she kissed her sister on the cheek and took the offered cell phone with her cousin, Yvonne Tate on the line.



Later that night at John’s apartment


John awoke to find Evangeline lying against his chest admiring her ring. He smiled seeing how she glowed with happiness. “Counselor, you have it wrong.” He waited till her dark chocolate eyes met his. “I should wake to find you watching me sleep not admiring your engagement ring.”

“Then, you should have awakened an hour ago.” She replied with sheer joy. She leaned up to kiss him then turned her attention back to the ring. She couldn’t get over how gorgeous and unique it was.

He took his right hand and caressed her left ring finger and the ring. He was glad she loved the gold Claddagh engagement ring with diamonds around the rim of the band and center of the heart.

“You know I searched stores online and off for the perfect engagement ring for you and couldn’t find one. So, I decided to have one hand crafted while I was in Ireland.” He confessed turning his attention to her face.

“Ireland? You didn’t go back to Ireland after we got back together…” Evangeline’s words trailed off as her eyes moved from the ring to lock with his sapphire eyes. “You…you bought an engagement ring for me when you were in Ireland…we weren’t even together.”

His eyes swept over her face in love as he ran his hand through her hair. He decided to answer her with a kiss, so he captured the back of her head and pulled her gently to him. Without resistance, she covered his lips and matched his kiss.

Author’s Note: I love this ring and it’s meaning. For the full history of the Claddagh Ring you can go to http://www.irishcelticjewels.com/store/pages.php?pageid=7 http://www.irishop.com/howtowearcladdagh.html

Lyrics to Destiny by Jim Brickman http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/jim_brickman/destiny.html