LOVE IS NEVER GONE

The Year: 2014

Chapter 1

A.J. Quartermaine released a deep breath and rubbed his sweaty palms together as he observed the modest, two-story house on the corner of Arch and Spruce Streets in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He tried to tell himself the humidity of the hot summer day was causing him to perspire, but he knew better. He'd had a feeling of unease and restlessness since receiving her letter.

Now, staring at the light blue house with dark blue trim, a well-kept lawn and a hedge that seemed to divide the property line, he wondered if he'd made the right choice. He questioned, for what seemed like the hundredth time, whether or not he'd read her letter correctly. She did want him to visit, didn't she?

Before climbing the four concrete steps which would lead him to her door, he pulled the envelope from his jacket pocket and read the address on the return label one more time to make sure he had the right house: 2501 Arch Street. He had the right address. But did he have the right to show up so unexpectedly?

He pulled the letter from the envelope, read her handwritten words one more time, and told himself she was expecting him. True, he hadn't called her first, but that was because she had not provided a phone number, only an address. He could have called information to find out if she was listed, but he took her not providing a phone number to mean she wanted to see him. Bolstered once more by his own deductive reasoning, faulty though it may be, he returned the letter to its envelope and the envelope to his pocket, released one more deep breath, and then, before any more doubts could assail his already overworked and overwrought mind, he rang the doorbell. Anxiety and a sense of dread filled every ounce of his body, but somewhere, deep down, he knew excitement waited to make itself known. If only the letter he possessed meant what he thought, no make that hoped, it might.

At least ten different greetings swam through his mind as he waited for someone, anyone, to arrive. When the door, painted the same light blue as the rest of the outside of the house, was finally pulled back, all thought left his brain. His mouth turned to cotton. He could utter no sound.

"Yes?" an attractive young female, with flawless skin the color of caramel, asked. "May I help you?"

A.J. did not recognize the face or the voice, but he would know those eyes anywhere. They mirrored his own. Was it possible? Could it be? Was this the reason she had written him a letter?

The teen-ager, who looked to be about sixteen, waited for her guest to identify himself.

"May I help you?" she asked again, starting to sound bored when no words were forthcoming from A.J.

"I-I'm sorry. I-I'm here to see Keesha Ward. Is she available?"

"May I tell her who you are?"

"Yes. Please do. My name is A.J. Quarter-"

A.J. had no sooner started to say his last name when the door slammed shut in his stunned face.

Chapter 2

"Julianna," said a weak female voice from a room near the back of the house that had been converted into a bedroom, "who was at the door?"

"Just a neighbor asking how you were feeling," Julianna said, unwilling to tell her mother the truth.

She approached Keesha's bedroom and stepped inside.

"I said you were resting."

Keesha nodded. Julianna crossed to her mother's bed and fluffed her pillows.

"Are you comfortable, Mama? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine," she assured her anxious daughter. "If you want to go out with your friends, go ahead. I want you to enjoy your summer. I plan to read for a little bit, and then I'm going to rest."

"I don't want to leave you. I'll be upstairs in my room. If you need anything, let me know. My door will be open, so I can hear you."

"That's fine. I have everything I need."

If that were true, Julianna thought as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom, then why did you contact A.J. Quartermaine and tell him to come here?

*~*

Julianna's four-poster bed, covered with a vibrant patchwork quilt Keesha had made for her when she turned thirteen, greeted her as she entered the spacious bedroom. The light pink curtains, which matched what color one could see of the picture-covered walls, danced as a mild breeze cooled the area. Passing shelves filled with her favorite books and stuffed animals, she reached the padded window seat and lifted the lid to retrieve her favorite pen and her jonquil-covered journal. Her best friend Shelly, knowing that jonquils were her favorite flower, had given her the diary last Christmas. Since her birthday fell so close to Christmas, December 29th to be exact, Shelly had also given her matching stationery as a birthday present. Julianna used the stationery once in a while, but she wrote in her cherished journal every day, sometimes more than once.

With her slender legs crossed, she positioned a cushion pillow behind her back so she could lean against the wall and write. The breeze refreshed her. She opened her journal and with pen in hand, she poured her thoughts onto the waiting pages.

He showed up today, she began. Why did Mama have to contact him? Why now? Why ever?

Julianna ceased writing and took a moment to stare reflectively out the window. It was the first time she'd ever seen his face. At various times, her mother had wanted to show her a picture or two, but Julianna always refused. Keesha never pushed. She knew where her mother kept the photos, but she'd never even wanted so much as to take a peek. And now she had seen him. She knew his face. She'd heard his husky voice. She knew what he looked and sounded like. He would never be just a name to her again. It was as though his face and his voice were burned in her mind. She hated it, but one look at him told her what she'd always known to be true. She had his eyes. Everyone commented on how pretty her thick-lashed hazel eyes were, especially against her darker skin tone. Should she thank him for giving her what a lot of people considered to be her best feature? She laughed bitterly, but she knew she couldn't deny the truth any longer. Today, for the first time, she had seen her father in person. And she couldn't have been ruder.

He is rather handsome, though, she reluctantly acknowledged in her journal. But that doesn't mean he's a good person. He's not. I know he's not. I wish Mama had never contacted him. I know I shouldn't have slammed the door in his face, but I don't want him coming any closer. He's not going to leave us alone, she acknowledged, feeling a mix of sadness and anger. I just know he's going to try again. What am I going to do? How can I keep him away from us?

Julianna had no sooner written the words than the phone rang. She grabbed it on the first ring, afraid it would be him. Thankful her mother hadn't asked for the cordless phone to be brought into her room, Julianna said a hushed "hello."

"May I speak to Keesha Ward, please?"

She recognized the voice. She knew who it was. Without saying another word, she hung up and prayed he wouldn't call again.

*~*

From his hotel room in the center of town, A.J. stared at the phone in dismay. The young girl who had shut the door in his face had just hung up in his ear.

After A.J. had recovered from the door-slamming incident, he'd returned to his hotel room at the Hilton. Even though Keesha had not given him her phone number, he took a chance she might be in the directory. He'd found a K&J Ward listed with no address and decided to call. Recognizing the teen-ager's voice, he knew he had the right number. The fact that she slammed the phone down much the same way she had the door confirmed it for him.

Keesha wanted to see him or so A.J. believed. Sitting on the bed in his hotel room, he vowed he would not give up until he'd at least had a chance to talk to her. He had to know if that young lady was indeed his daughter. And if she was, he would not leave Philadelphia until he knew why he had been kept from her for the past fifteen years!

Chapter 3

Keesha waited until her daughter returned downstairs before asking about the earlier phone call.

"It was the wrong number," Julianna said, as she handed her mother a glass of water and two pills.

After swallowing her medication, Keesha asked what she had planned for the evening.

"Nothing. I made vegetable soup and a green salad with Jell-O for dessert. I'll bring you a tray, and then I'll eat."

"Julianna," Keesha said, reaching out to hold her daughter's hand, "I don't want you to spend all your time taking care of me. I can walk to the kitchen, and I can eat dinner at the table."

"No. After your last trip to the Emergency Room, Dr. Williams said you have to have absolute bed rest. I don't mind taking care of you."

For a split second, Keesha saw something flash in her daughter's eyes. The look so reminded her of A.J. She also sensed the tension in her daughter as she held her hand. Julianna was hiding something. Keesha always knew when her daughter was distressed.

"Okay," she agreed. "I'll eat my dinner here, provided you join me. Let's not eat alone."

Julianna's sweet smile never failed to make her mother smile, no matter how badly she felt.

"I'll bring dinner soon," she promised. "You rest."

"When you come back," Keesha called out because her daughter had already left the room, "bring the cordless phone with you so we can answer it in here. I may even be up for a game of Scrabble."

Julianna pretended not to hear the part about the phone. There was no way she was giving her mother direct access to A.J. Quartermaine, should he dare try to call again.

*~*

As A.J. ate dinner alone in his hotel room with the TV turned on for background noise, he let his mind wander back to May 1998. That was the last time he had seen or spoken to Keesha. They had resumed their romantic relationship and had been together for a few months when an urgent call about her father's failing health had sent her to Philadelphia. They'd promised to keep in touch, but his life got complicated as soon as she left.

Believing he was the biological father of Michael, the son of the late Carly Corinthos, A.J. had done everything in his power to try to find out for sure. He was also reeling from the fact that Carly had drugged him, left him in an alley, and tried to make it seem as though he had started drinking again. Things really became tangled when his brother, Jason Morgan, got involved. Carly claimed Jason was the boy's father. A.J. had been stunned.

When the truth, or what A.J. thought was the truth at the time, finally came out, there wasn't time to think about Keesha. A.J. wanted his son with him. He and Carly tried marriage, but as with most everything in his life back then, it ended in disaster.

While A.J. continued to struggle with his very real problem of alcoholism, his ex-wife had taken up with the resident mobster, Sonny Corinthos. Sonny blackmailed A.J. into giving up total custody of his child. He spent the next few years hell bent on revenge, which ended up costing him dearly and making his life more miserable than it already was. Again, Keesha did not enter his mind.

Thinking he had found the ultimate revenge on his nemesis, A.J. became romantically involved with Sonny's half-sister, Courtney Mathews-Morgan. Somewhere along the line, he actually developed deep feelings for the young blonde, but once again, his brother Jason, who could do no wrong in his family's eyes, ended up with his ex-wife.

The next few years saw A.J. trying to come to grips with what had become of his life. He'd finally made strides by getting the help he knew he needed, and his life had meaning once again. He'd been about to hire a high-priced New York lawyer to fight Carly and Sonny for joint custody of a much older and more aware Michael when tragedy struck. The limousine Carly and Sonny had been riding in exploded. Sonny was killed instantly; Carly managed to hang on for a few days before her ultimate demise. The bedside confession she made to her mother changed a lot of people's lives forever, especially her son's. Michael Corinthos was really Tony Jones' son. Once Jason knew that Carly had signed a written confession, he told the affected parties, excluding Michael, how he had switched the test results at Carly's urging.

If A.J. hadn't been in a good place in his life, he knew her confession would've sent him into a tailspin. Even on her deathbed, she made sure A.J. knew the only reason she said he was the boy's father was because she knew she would always win against him since he was such a pathetic loser.

Once Sonny and Carly were gone, Jason and Courtney began to receive more and more death threats. They finally went into hiding. To this day, A.J. didn't know where they were. He had to admit they were becoming nothing more than a faded memory.

He finally managed, with a lot of help from some good people, to put much of the past with all its hurts and disappointments behind him and had moved on with his life.

Now, as he sat in the darkening room with a half-eaten steak on his plate, he wondered how different these past years might have been if, somewhere along the way, he had thought to contact Keesha. He also wondered what had caused her to be silent all these years if, indeed, the young lady he'd had contact with was his daughter.

*~*

After they'd each won a game of Scrabble, Julianna could tell her mother wanted to sleep.

"I'm going to say goodnight," she said to Keesha. "I'll be in the living room watching TV. I won't have it loud."

She kissed her mother's cheek and started to turn off her bedside lamp when Keesha stopped her.

"I want to read for a little bit. I'll turn out the light later."

Julianna nodded and after wishing her mother a restful sleep, she left the room.

Once Keesha knew she was alone, she opened her nightstand drawer and pulled out the first draft of the letter she had written to A.J. She looked at the date and realized that he'd had plenty of time to receive it. The unexpected visitor at the door and the mysterious phone call Julianna had briskly taken care of made Keesha suspicious. While she knew she hadn't given A.J. her phone number, she had no doubt he could've found it in the directory or by calling information. She knew her daughter did not want to talk about her biological father, but Keesha needed and wanted to see him. After reading the letter one more time, she returned it to the drawer for safekeeping.

With some difficulty, she managed to lay on her right side. She reached up and turned off the light. As she tried to get comfortable to go to sleep, only one thought occupied her mind.

My time is running out, A.J., and it's imperative that I talk to you.

Chapter 4

"Good morning, Mama," Julianna said as she walked into her mother’s room and pulled the shade halfway up the window to let in the early morning sunlight. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. Did you?"

Julianna turned to face her mother and nodded.

"I can make pancakes if you want."

"I think I’ll just have cereal and herbal tea. I need you to go to the store for me later."

"Okay. Let me go prepare your breakfast."

Julianna left the room, wondering how she could prevent A.J. from calling while she was out of the house. Short of unplugging the phones, Julianna was at a loss as to what to do.

About to put the breakfast items on a tray to bring to Keesha’s room, Julianna was surprised to find her mother standing behind her.

"Mama! I didn’t hear you."

"Sorry, sweetie. I needed to get out of bed."

"But do you feel okay? Sit down."

She pulled out a chair and helped her mother to sit down. She placed the bowl of cereal and cup of hot tea on the table.

"Sit with me and eat," Keesha said.

Julianna grabbed an apple from the refrigerator and sat next to her mother.

"Is everything okay?" Keesha asked.

"Yes, Mama. Why?"

"Last night while we were playing Scrabble, you seemed agitated like something was troubling you. I also noticed you frowned a lot. When I came in here, you were frowning again. Is something wrong, Julianna? If there is, I want you to tell me."

"No," she said, not ready to tell her mother about A.J.’s visit and phone call or to ask her why she had contacted him after all this time. "I’m just concerned about you."

Keesha gently squeezed her daughter’s hand. "I’m feeling better."

"I’m so happy to hear that, but what about the next..."

Julianna stopped. She knew how serious her mother’s illness was. They’d discussed it, but that didn’t mean she was ready to accept the inevitable.

"The next what?" Keesha pressed, wanting her daughter to discuss her fears with her. "You know you can talk to me about anything, Julianna. I want you to."

She nodded but didn’t say any more. Instead, she bit into her apple and took her time chewing.

"I understand you may not be ready to voice your concerns, but please don’t withdraw from me," Keesha continued. "I want you to confide in me. Okay?"

"Yes, Mama," she said, once she had swallowed. "I just...I need to sort out my thoughts. That’s all."

Keesha knew it was more than that, but she respected her daughter’s words and didn’t venture further.

"I made a list of things I need at the store."

"I was thinking about that. I can ask Shelly to go to the store for me. She won’t mind."

"No, Julianna." Keesha’s voice was firm. "I want you to go to the store. You need to get out, get some fresh air. I’ll be fine."

"What if I ask Shelly to stay with you while I’m gone?"

"Honey, I don’t need anyone to stay with me. And just to prove it to you, my doubting darling daughter, I will rinse the dishes while you go get ready. Go on. While you’re out, why don’t you stop at ‘Carla’s Fashion Boutique’ and see if you like any of her new outfits. Take your time. I’ll be fine."

Julianna realized her mother would not let her get out of going to the store, but there was no way she was making any unnecessary stops, even though that meant passing up a chance to peek into her favorite clothing store.

*~*

Sitting on her bed, Keesha shook her head and sighed. Getting her daughter out of the house had zapped most of what little energy she had. But she needed to have the house to herself. An idea had come to her in the middle of the night, and she knew she had to act on it. Reaching for the cordless phone she had insisted Julianna bring to her, she punched in the numbers for information and when the operator answered, Keesha asked for the phone number of the Hilton Hotel. She jotted the numbers down and thanked the woman.

Keesha knew the Hilton Hotel wasn’t too far from her house. If it had been A.J. at the door yesterday, maybe he was staying there? If he wasn’t at the Hilton, she would try the next hotel and the next one until she’d exhausted them all. She thought about waiting for the phone or the doorbell to ring again, but she couldn’t be certain it would happen. She needed to take action. Now.

Please let him be staying at this hotel, she prayed silently, as she punched in the numbers she had written down.

"Hilton Hotel. How may I help you?"

"Is there an A.J. Quartermaine registered there?"

"One moment. Let me check."

She could hear the sound of typing on a keyboard while she hoped for the best.

"Yes, there is. Would you like me to ring his room?"

"Yes!" Keesha said, relief evident in her voice. "Please do."

Now to cross the next hurdle: would he be there?

Her question was answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

Keesha’s heart skipped a beat when she heard his voice.

"A.J."

It was a statement, not a question.

"Keesha?!" A.J. sounded incredulous. "Is this really you?"

"Yes," she said, relieved to have finally made the connection. "It’s me."

"How did you know I’m staying here?"

"I didn’t. I took a chance."

"I received your letter and came as soon as I could. I’ve tried to contact you several times."

"I thought so."

"Keesha, I have to know. The young girl who answered the door and the phone. Is she...is she your daughter? Is she...*our* daughter?"

"Yes," Keesha answered, her grip on the receiver tightening. "We need to talk, A.J. Soon."

"I agree," A.J. said, his mind racing with questions he wanted answers to.

NOW.

"I’ll talk to Julianna when she comes back from the store. I’ll make her understand why I contacted you after all this time. I’ll call you later today to come over."

"Her name is Julianna. I like that. Very pretty."

"Julianna Mae Ward," Keesha said, her heart and her voice filled with love.

"I have a lot of questions, Keesha."

"I know. I have answers for you, A.J. I do."

"I’m staying by this phone. Please call me. Soon."

"I will. I have to go now. I’m spent."

He’d noticed her labored breathing and that her voice had grown weak.

"Keesha, are you ill?"

"Yes, A.J., I am."

He struggled with his next question, but he had to ask. He had to know what he was dealing with so he could prepare himself to the best of his ability for what might lie ahead.

"Keesha, are you...are you...dying?"

"Yes," she answered, her voice breaking. "And I don’t know how much time I have left."

Chapter 5

Julianna returned and was surprised to find her mother sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea.

"You should be resting in bed," she gently admonished.

"I have been. I got up a few minutes ago. After you put the groceries away, we need to have a serious talk."

Julianna recognized her mother’s set jaw and grim expression and swallowed her contradictory words. She knew, as fragile as her mother seemed lately, a fierce determination still remained. She feared "the talk" had something to do with A.J. Quartermaine and her behavior towards him, but she didn’t voice those concerns. She simply acknowledged her mother’s request with a nod.

Julianna willed herself to remain calm as she told Keesha she was ready. Taking a seat next to her mother, she waited anxiously for her to begin. Keesha took a moment to brush her daughter’s ebony locks away from her attractive face and gave her a wan smile.

"I know this isn’t going to be easy for you to hear, baby girl, but the time has come, and we must talk about it. You know I’ve contacted your father. He’s been here, hasn’t he? He’s tried to call, too. Isn’t that the truth, Julianna?"

Julianna felt the heat rising to her cheeks as her lies were so methodically exposed by her mother. She did not dare continue in her deception.

"Yes, Mama," she admitted ruefully. Then she rushed on. "But we don’t need him. We don’t!"

"*I* need him," Keesha stated. "Don’t you see, sweetheart. I need to explain everything to him, and I need to see you and your father together. I’ve put this off for far too long. It has to happen, Julianna. It will happen."

"What if I don’t want to meet him?" she asked, tears of frustration and a sense of loss filling her eyes. "He never cared about us. He never tried to contact you! Why, Mama? Why do we have to let him into our lives? Cousin Justus and Dara will take care of me if it comes to that. You told me that! And they confirmed it!"

"I know we all talked about that situation, but you need more than Justus and Dara. You need your father, baby. And he needs you, too."

She squeezed her daughter’s hands, her heart breaking at the anguish she saw on her lovely face.

"Honey, you know why I need to do this. I’m not doing this to hurt you. I’m not. Cousin Justus talked to you about this not so very long ago. I’m not getting any better. We both know what’s going to happen. A.J. is your father. It’s time, way past time, that the two of you got to know one another. This has to be done, Julianna."

"But Mama..."

Keesha shook her head.

"This is happening, Julianna. No more slamming doors in his face or hanging up on him when he calls."

The fifteen year old, who looked so much younger at that moment, turned her head away. Her mother knew everything.

"Yes, I know what you did, and I know why you did it, but it won’t happen again. A.J. is coming here tonight after supper. I expect you to be on your best behavior."

She whipped her head around to stare at her mother. "Tonight?! But that’s too soon!!" she cried.

"No, Julianna," Keesha said, her voice filled with sadness and regret. "This meeting is happening fourteen years too late. I won’t put it off another day."

*~*

After helping her mother get ready for A.J.’s visit, Julianna withdrew into the privacy of her room while Keesha rested.

With fear and anxiety gripping her from every side, she couldn’t sit still long enough to write in her journal, even though she had a million thoughts swimming through her mind that she wanted to get down on paper. Instead of writing, she turned on her computer and Web cam.

"Please be there," she hoped out loud.

She heard his voice through her speakers and despite how badly she felt, a small smile managed to ease some of the tension from her face.

"Hello, Michael."

"Hey, Jule. How’s it goin’?"

He was the only one she allowed to call her Jule. She didn’t know why, except that she liked the way he said the name. It sounded, to her, as though he were calling her a "jewel."

"Lousy," she admitted.

He could see her scowl and told her to talk to him.

"He’s coming here," she said, without preamble. "Tonight. I hate this, Michael. I really hate this!"

She never identified her father by name, but whenever she said "he," Michael knew she was talking about her father. They’d had an agreement from the very beginning that they wouldn’t share their last names, places of residence or phone numbers. They wanted to keep things as simple as possible. Somehow, it worked for them.

The teen-ager, with the reddish-brown hair and pale complexion, saw Julianna jump up from her chair and begin to pace the room as though she were looking for a way out. Which, he concluded, she probably was.

"No escaping out the window," he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

His efforts were rewarded with her sticking her tongue out at him.

"O-kay. Talk to me, Jule," he encouraged.

"He’s coming, Michael. My father is coming here. Mere hours from now he will be in this house. How can I be civil to him? How?!"

"Remember when I told you about my situation? Look how many fathers I’ve had. At least your mom didn’t subject you to a bunch of different guys and tell you to call them ‘uncle’ or ‘daddy.’ Your mom wants you to know your true father, Jule. Is that *so* bad?"

"I don’t know," she answered and sniffled, hating it when her friend made sense. "I’m scared about what this means. I’m looking at the big picture, and I don’t like what it’s showing me."

"You mean about your mom’s declining health?"

"Yeah. I won’t go with him, and he can’t make me!"

"Whoa, Jule. You are getting way ahead of yourself. I think your mom just wants the two of you to meet. Get to know one another. I highly doubt your mom is ready to give you up or to give up on herself. Didn’t you tell me she’s a fighter? And a brave one at that?"

"Yes, but you should see her, Michael. She’s so frail. I know her liver is getting worse. I can see it."

"Then you know what, Jule? You need to help make this meeting go well. I’m sure your mother is agonizing over this. Help her. Okay?"

"For being sixteen and male, how did you get to be so wise?"

Michael laughed. She loved hearing it.

"First of all, I’m almost seventeen."

"Not until December 29th. Don’t forget we share the same birth date. You’re just a year older."

"I’d never forget that. Isn’t that one of the reasons we decided to chat?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice softening. "It was. Along with the fact that we have only one parent."

"That’s right. You know my story, Jule. I lost my mom and every dad or uncle I thought I had. I live with my grandmother, but I’ve gotten to know my dad, my *real* dad, and he’s an okay guy. If you give your father a chance, I bet you’ll find out he’s okay, too."

"Promise me one thing?" she asked, knowing she had to sign off to prepare dinner.

He gave her a crooked grin. "What?"

"Be here late tonight. I have a feeling I’m going to need you."

"I’ll be here," he assured her. "I wish I could give you a hug. Know I’ll be thinking of you, Jule."

"Thank you," she said, and pressed two fingers against the camera to give him a cyber kiss.

Chapter 6

With her stomach in knots, Julianna took two bites of her tuna salad and declared she couldn't eat any more. She covered the bowl and placed it on a shelf in the refrigerator. Keesha fared little better with her vegetable soup. She glanced at the wall clock and realized A.J. would be there in less than an hour.

"Do we have anything to serve A.J. when he arrives?" Keesha asked.

"I made a tray with ham, cheese and crackers.  I also cut up some raw vegetables. There are some brownies left, too, that I baked yesterday."

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you for doing all this work, sweetheart. I appreciate it. I guess we should put on a pot of coffee."

"Okay. There's iced tea, too, if he drinks that."

"Sounds like we're ready."

Not really, Julianna wanted to say, but kept the thought to herself.

"I'd like us to talk in the living room," Keesha continued. "I'm going to use my walker and head that way."

Julianna nodded and watched to make sure her mother was steady on her feet before she began to measure the coffee grounds.

*~*

Taking her time, Keesha shuffled down the long, narrow, carpeted hallway to the front of the house, where the living room was located. Once she entered, she stopped to look around at her modest but comfortable furnishings. At one time, when she was healthier, this room had been her favorite. As she moved to her recliner, she recalled, with fondness, the evenings she had sat near the window and watched her young daughter play with her friends in the front yard. When Julianna got older, she entertained her mother by playing the piano and singing. The music, and her daughter's melodious voice, had allowed Keesha to recall sweet memories of her grandmother, Mary Mae.

Keesha had also spent many hours in her favorite chair with her feet propped up after a long day at the hospital, watching television, reading a good book, or just letting her mind wander.

Those were the times she let herself think about A.J., she realized now, as she tried to get comfortable in her chair, and had wondered whether or not she'd made the right decision in not telling him about his daughter. She had called him, several times, and each time she tried and failed to reach him because of one reason or another, her resolve grew stronger that she was better off not involving him in her life or the life of her daughter. But as she soon learned, fate had a way of stepping in and taking control. Her illness was definite proof of that.

Her daughter's appearance in the room broke Keesha's reverie. She placed the serving tray onto the glass-topped coffee table and then turned on the two lamps that sat on either side of the light blue sofa. Even though there was still daylight, Julianna also turned on the porch light.

"Thank you, baby."

Julianna nodded. Taking a seat on the edge of the sofa, she jumped up every time an automobile whizzed by. When she heard a car slow down and saw that it was parked in front of their house, she peeked through the curtain and knew it was A.J.

"He's here," she said, her voice solemn.

"Open the door for him, please."

"Yes, Mama."

With nervous energy, Julianna opened the door and waited for A.J. to make his appearance. When she saw him climbing the few steps, she gasped in surprise. He carried two beautiful bouquets: one of pink roses and one of yellow jonquils.

"Hello," she greeted somberly when he reached her.

"Hello, Julianna?"

He said it as a question, as if he wasn't sure he should call her by her name.

"Please come in," she said politely, if not stiffly, moving to one side so he could enter. "My mother is in the living room."

A.J. stepped where Julianna motioned. Keesha saw the gorgeous flowers before she actually saw him. But A.J. had a clear view of Keesha. He'd tried to steel himself for what she might look like, but nothing could have prepared him for how bad she looked. His heart lurched, and any cross words or accusations he might have thrown at her melted away. Never heavy to begin with, she was sickly thin. Her face was drawn; the vibrant brown eyes he remembered nearly vacant. Yet, when she indicated for him to enter the room, he did see life in her, and for that he was grateful.

"Hello, A.J.," she said, well aware that he had been taking inventory of her appearance.

Her voice was softer, weaker, but still managed to get his attention.

"Hello, Keesha," he returned.

"The flowers are beautiful," she said. "Thank you. We'll leave them in here to enjoy while we talk."

Taking her cue from her mother, Julianna arranged the two bouquets to sit on top of the black Steinway piano. She wanted to ask A.J. how he knew jonquils were her favorite flower, but one look at her mother's face, and she had her answer. He'd asked about her favorite things, Julianna realized, or her mother had told him. She vowed not to be affected.

"Sit down on the couch," Keesha said.

Her instructions included both of them.

Julianna let A.J. sit first, and then she purposely chose the opposite end. She sat perched on the edge, ready for a quick escape if need be, although with her mother's watchful eye on her, she knew she wouldn't be going far.

"Are you hungry?" Keesha asked. "If so, help yourself."

"No, thank you. I ate dinner at the hotel."

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Julianna asked.

"Sure," A.J. said, turning to look at his daughter since she'd spoken directly to him. "That would be nice. Thank you."

She asked because his answer gave her a chance to leave the room. Keesha told her to bring everything in the living room, and they would help themselves.

"I look pretty bad, don't I?" Keesha finally asked.

A.J. had not stopped frowning since he'd laid eyes on her. He shook his head.

"I told myself you're not well, but Keesha..."

"I know," she said. "But you, on the other hand, look wonderful."

She appraised him and nodded approvingly.

"I see some gray in your hair and a few more lines around your eyes, but other than that, you look good."

"Thank you. May I...may I ask what happened to make you sick?"

"Let's talk about that later. Right now, I'd like us to concentrate on Julianna."

A.J. nodded. "She doesn't like me much, does she?"

"She's holding some things against you," Keesha admitted. "If you could tell us about your life and the choices you've made these past years, maybe she'll begin to see you in a new light."

"Does she...does she know about my past? About what I am?"

"You mean, do I know you're an alcoholic?" Julianna challenged, returning to the room just as A.J. voiced his question.

She added the Sterling silver tray with its contents to the coffee table and then turned to face her father.

"Yes, A.J.," she said, fire blazing in her hazel eyes, "I know what you are. And it's just one of the many, many reasons I begged my mother not to involve you in our lives. We don't need you!"

"Julianna!" Keesha severely admonished.

"I'm sorry, Mama, but he asked the question!"

"Can you let him explain about that? I told you he's sober now."

"How would you know? You're not with him day in and day out. You don't know that he's not drinking."

"If you had read any of the articles I've kept for you, Julianna, you would know the path your father's life has taken these past ten years. Please, A.J. Tell us about it."

"I am an alcoholic, Julianna. Actually, I'm a recovering alcoholic. As your mother indicated, I've been sober for eleven years. Years ago, I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, while under the influence of alcohol and while I was on the so-called wagon, but when I finally decided to get help, really get help, I became involved in a wonderful program. It literally changed my life."

"What happened?" Julianna asked, not wanting to be interested but realizing she was.

She had returned to her seat.

Encouraged by her question and the fact she was actually looking at him, A.J. happily continued.

"The program is in Manhattan. I moved there and have lived there ever since. 'Changes' is the name of the program, and it's a non-profit organization. When I saw how well 'Changes' worked and had been sober for a while, I started to think about expanding on its mission. With the help of a lot of good people, we developed a company called 'Goals, Achievements and Successes.' It's a program that gives people an opportunity once they've taken back control of their lives, no matter what they've been addicted to. There's a chapter in New York City and one in Port Charles. We're actually looking to set up a chapter here in Philadelphia."

"I think the work you're doing is wonderful, A.J. You make the newspapers and some magazines quite often. I've saved all the articles, Julianna, if you would like to read them."

"It's nice that you're helping all these people," she said, an anger building inside of her that she didn't know how to squelch, "but how is it you never thought to find out how my mother was doing?!"

Before A.J. could answer, Julianna ran from the room. With Keesha's permission, A.J. left in search of his daughter.

Unfamiliar with his surroundings, he walked down the long hallway and heard muffled sounds. He followed them and found Julianna with her back to him, sobbing quietly as she rinsed the dishes at the kitchen sink.

"Julianna?" he said her name tentatively.

She didn't turn to look at him, but when she spoke, she sounded tired and drained. "Go away. Please. Just go away."

"I don't think that's what your mother wants, and it's certainly not what I want. I know a bouquet of flowers and some measly explanation from me are not going to make the past fifteen years right, but we have to start somewhere, don't we?"

"Why?" she asked, wiping her eyes and then turning to look at him. "Are my mother and I your next challenge? Will you get written up in some newspaper or national magazine if you do something heroic for us? Spare me. Don't you get that I don't want anything to do with you?! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

With fresh tears spilling down her cheeks, she rushed past him and ran towards the living room.

"Can we not talk any more tonight?" she asked Keesha. "Please."

"All right," she conceded. "I am getting tired. But I'm going to ask A.J. to spend the night on the sofa. There's so much more we need to discuss."

"You and A.J. talk tomorrow. Without me."

"That's not possible. What we need to discuss is your future, Julianna."

"I know my future, Mama," she said as A.J. stood at the doorway, uncertain whether or not he should enter. "If I lose you, I'm going with Cousin Justus and Dara. I'm not going with him, Mama. I won't! And no one can make me! No one!"

Chapter 7

A.J. spent most of the night lying wide awake on the sofa. He had no idea how to reach his daughter, and he still needed to find out what was wrong with Keesha. As the room began to lighten with the dawn of a new day, he heard rustling further down the hall, from the kitchen he believed, and decided to investigate. He discovered Keesha standing at the stove, with her walker, heating a kettle.

"Good morning. Need some help?" he asked.

She turned and offered him a seat at the table.

"Good morning to you. I felt like drinking a cup of tea. Care for one?"

"Sure. I can do that if you'd like."

"I need to do as much as I can for myself."

"I understand."

"Did you sleep?"

"Not much," he admitted. "How about you?"

"I did, but then again, I have medication that helps me."

"Is it too early for you to talk about your illness?"

Keesha nodded. "Later, A.J. Let's enjoy the quiet of the new day as we sip our tea."

A.J. carried the cups to the table and helped Keesha into her chair before taking the seat next to her.

"Can we talk about Julianna?" he asked, after they'd savored the lemon-flavored brew.

"Of course."

"She mentioned Justus and Dara. Do they know everything?"

Keesha nodded. "Justus is my lawyer and my confidante. Dara is my confidante, too. It helps that they're married. It just makes things easier. Everything is spelled out in my Will, A.J. My stipulation is that you not be kept from Julianna nor she from you, but primary custody of Julianna will go to Justus and Dara. I had to protect my daughter. She needs to be with people she knows, trusts and loves when I'm...no longer...around."

Keesha looked away as unwanted tears filled her eyes.

"I understand," A.J. said, placing a gentle hand on Keesha's forearm.

Grateful she didn't recoil from his touch, he continued. "I know you didn't have to include me at all. I have no excuse for never contacting you."

"You were drinking," she said, turning to look at him. But there was no accusation in her eyes. "I know that, A.J., because I called. Several times. I wouldn't have allowed you into my life or that of my daughter's had you continued to drink. Justus told me about your marriage to Carly and your marriage to Courtney whatever her last name is."

"Morgan," A.J. supplied.

When Keesha looked at him in surprise, he nodded.

"Yes, as in Jason."

The irony of that fact did not escape either of them.

"Regardless," she continued, "once I knew about those marriages, keeping Julianna from you became easier and easier. I had just about given up on you completely when I started seeing your name in the newspaper. I asked Justus to keep track of you again, and he confirmed your remarkable turnaround to me. I still had my doubts, but when I read about the wonderful outreach program you had started and the results it was producing, some of my hope returned. But by then, Julianna was old enough to voice an opinion on the matter of her father. And her opinion was that she wanted nothing whatsoever to do with you. I honored her wish until I got sick."

"How did you get sick, Keesha?"

She sighed as she stared into her tea cup. She knew, sooner or later, she had to talk about herself.

"My father died shortly after I arrived here. I mourned his loss deeply but, of course, I also discovered I had a new life growing inside me. I realized I had a chance to start over. To do or to be whatever I wanted. I felt a sense of freedom. As I said, I did try to contact you, but never succeeded in actually telling you who I was. I started to believe that was for the best. I mapped out a course for my life. I decided, after the birth of Julianna, that I wanted to be a nurse. I was fortunate. I was able to take a lot of the beginning courses at home, so I could be with my baby. At the college, I discovered there were other single moms doing the same thing I was. We networked to help each other study, to baby-sit our kids while we worked, or to just give one another a break if we needed it. With a lot of hard work, I made it through nursing school with my certificate.

"I loved the career I had chosen until I became infected by a drug user who fought with us in the hospital. My doctors thought they had caught it and treated it in time, but when I started not to feel well a few months ago, they ran more tests and discovered the infection had spread to my liver. They tried to treat it with drugs, but when I failed to improve, they informed me I'm now a candidate for a liver transplant. I'm on the waiting list for a donor, but so far..."

"Wow, Keesha, I am so very sorry to hear this. I can't even begin to imagine what you and Julianna have been going through. But you know what? I have a lot of connections with various medical groups and organizations. Why don't you let me make a few phone calls to see if I can find a donor or at least get you moved up higher on the list?"

"I appreciate what you're saying and what you're trying to do, but it's more complicated than that, A.J. I'm still undergoing tests. My doctors haven't given up on the medication I'm taking. It's a relatively new drug, but it has helped others like me."

"That's fine, Keesha, but why not have all the help you can get? Later on, when the office in NYC is open, I'm going to call a few people who work for me. I just want to make some inquiries. Will you at least let me do that much? Please?"

"Okay," she acquiesced because she didn't have the energy to fight him. "But you have to know that my doctors *must* be involved in anything you may want to do."

"I understand. I have a great staff. A few names you would recognize from Port Charles work with me. I know they'll want to do this."

"Please, A.J. Do not tell anybody this is for me. You have to promise me that."

"I promise. I won't mention your name. I just want to help you and Julianna if I can."

Unbeknownst to Keesha and A.J., Julianna heard a good portion of their conversation when she noiselessly descended the staircase. She had to grudgingly admit that A.J. sounded as though he cared. His concern for their welfare, especially her mother's, seemed genuine. Doubts about how she'd been treating him began to surface. Could she have misjudged him? Was he here because he truly cared about them? Was he trying to make amends for not being there for her mother when she'd needed him? Did he really want to help them with no ulterior motive, no need for recognition and fame? Did he just want to get to know her as his daughter? And the most important question, as far as Julianna was concerned, was would A.J. really be able to play a part in helping to keep her mother alive?

Chapter 8

Julianna retreated to her room without being seen or heard. She crossed to the window seat but didn't reach for her diary. Instead, she sat down, leaned her head against the wall, and closed her eyes to listen to the sparrows chirping merrily while she let the conversation she'd just heard play in her mind.

She hugged her middle and tried to make sense of it all, but confusion reigned. She needed to talk to someone. Moving to sit at her computer, she flipped the switches to turn on her computer and Web cam. Moments later, she found herself saying a subdued "hello" to Michael.

"Hey," he said, turning so he could see her. "I waited for you last night."

"Sorry. I was so agitated, I spent half the night typing out my thoughts on my computer. I didn't go online. I didn't feel like talking."

"It didn't go well?"

"I tried, but I couldn't be as civil as I know my mom wanted me to be. Michael?"

"Yeah, Jule?"

"Tell me what you experienced, what you felt when your mom died. You never talk about it."

"Are you sure you wanna hear?"

"Yes. I need to know what to expect or at least what I may experience should my mom...well, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Should I be brutally honest?"

"Please."

"Okay, here goes. It's horrible, Jule. If your mom should lose her battle, it'll be one of the worst experiences of your life. You're gonna feel like shit. Probably for a very long time."

"How did you cope?" she asked, her mood darkening. "How did you survive the loss of your family?"

"I almost didn't. I got into some bad stuff after my mom and step-father died because I didn't care. I saw a lot as a kid about the way some adults handle bad situations in their lives, and I thought the way you let out your anger was by having tantrums, throwing objects, yelling at everyone around you until they did what you wanted them to do. I think I broke every vase, every glass, every dish in my grandmother's house. I yelled and screamed constantly. I didn't know what a normal tone of voice was. I had so much anger and resentment in me, Jule. I loved my mom, but she and I were not as close as I know you are to your mom. Let's just say, we had issues. Unresolved issues, unfortunately.

"My grandmother helped me, even when I didn't want to be helped. I had horrendous nightmares. My grandmother held me and stayed with me. She wouldn't let me go even when I told her I wanted to be alone. She kept telling me how much she loved me. She didn't give up on me. Neither did my dad. I didn't know it at the time, or much care, but I had a support system. They came to me because I certainly had no plans to go to any of them. I did what I wanted to do. I didn't care what they said or did unless they tried to stop me. Then I got angry. My family, and even some of my friends, saw the path I was taking, and they did everything they could, short of tying me up in my room so I couldn't leave the house to buy drugs, to help me. They encouraged me, Jule. They spent time with me, even though I hated hearing the things they had to say. They told me I could make it through the darkest period of my life. I guess, even for someone as dumb or as stubborn as me, their words began to sink in. I started to reach out more to them and not to the drugs I had been taking. I had to test what they were telling me. I had to know if they would really be there for me the way they'd said they would be. I had to have something to believe in. I'd been numb for a long time, Jule. I'd numbed myself because it was the only way I knew how to get through the day. But as time went on, I slowly let myself feel again. I hated it because I didn't like a lot of what I was feeling, but I knew it meant I was alive.

"It's not easy, Jule, and if, by some unfortunate twist of fate, you have to go through it, don't let anyone push you in your grieving. Only you know how you feel. No one else does. I learned that from a man who, believe me, knows what he's talking about."

"You sound very courageous and mature to me," she said. "I know it's been less than four years since you lost your parents. I admire you. I'm glad you're my friend, Michael."

"I'm kinda glad we hooked up, too."

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Yep."

"I know you said you had a parade of fathers and uncles in your life. Did they do DNA testing on this father? Is he really your father?"

"Yes, he is. The true records were found from my birth, but we also did more testing. He is my father."

"Did you accept him right away? Did you feel any anger or resentment?"

"Nah. I could've been mad at my mother, but what good would it have done? After my mother's death, I got to know the man she claimed was my biological father but who she never let into my life. You know what I discovered? He's an okay guy. He helped me. He's the one I was talking about earlier who taught me a few things about not denying your feelings. When I first found out who my real father was, I didn't let myself think about him. I didn't know him, and finding out he was my father came at a time when I couldn't have cared less. But, over time, we managed to get to know one another, and at least we have a relationship. He's in my life, Jule, and I'm grateful and happy he is."

"My father seems sincere in wanting to help my mom. I'm so confused, Michael. I keep thinking things would be better if he just left us alone, but now...now I'm not so sure. My mom seemed really happy to see him. She asked him to stay over last night. She wants to talk more. I don't understand it. Why doesn't my mom care that he never called her? He obviously didn't think about her all these years. Is it fair that he just gets to waltz back into her life, and my life, and take over? I don't like this, and yet, I get the feeling he's not a bad guy. What should I do?"

"Just my opinion, 'kay?"

She nodded.

"I think you need to let him be there for you guys. Especially for your mom. She probably doesn't have time to feel resentment over the past, Jule. She's fighting for her life. I bet he feels pretty guilty."

"He doesn't act like it," she said, some of her unresolved anger coming through.

"Okay, so even if he doesn't feel guilty, at least he wants to help. Why would you not let him or not want him to?"

"You make me sound like a selfish brat. I hate this, Michael. But I can't help what I feel, can I?"

"Hey, you're the one who likes to analyze everything down to the last minute detail. Why do *you* think you feel that way? And you called yourself a selfish brat. I didn't."

"Sometimes I hate you, you know that?"

He laughed. "Yeah, Jule. I know. I gotta go. Catch you later?"

"Sure. Bye, Michael. Thanks."

"Anytime."

*~*

Still feeling overwhelmed, Julianna returned downstairs and saw A.J. sitting at the kitchen table, her mother's laptop in front of him.

"Good morning," he said when he saw her.

"Hi."

"Your mom is sleeping."

"I know. I just looked in her room. Did you eat?"

"Your mother and I had toast and tea. She told me where her computer was and that she wanted me to use it to check my e-mails."

She nodded and pulled a bottled water from the fridge. Positioning herself against the counter, she observed him as he worked.

"Your business must keep you very busy."

He stopped typing and turned to look at her.

"It does, but I love it. It doesn't feel like a job to me, most of the time."

"Do you have to work long hours?"

"Sometimes. It depends what we have going on. Would you like to see our Web site? I can show you what it looks like."

"Maybe some other time." Part of her felt guilty about wanting to keep her distance from him, but another part of her felt she had to in order to keep her sanity. "I have a computer in my room." She gave in to the pull to offer him an explanation. "I can see it there."

A.J. nodded. A few awkward moments passed with neither of them saying anything.

"I get the feeling you want to say something to me. Am I right, Julianna?"

"No," she said, a sudden need to leave the room enveloping her. "I'm going to see if the mail has been delivered."

She knew it was too early for the mail, but she needed space, so she stepped outside for some fresh air. She realized she didn't have to worry about her mother being alone in the house because she wasn't. Her father was there, and she knew he would help Keesha if she needed it. The thought struck her again. He would help them. They were no longer alone. Her mother had someone else in her life who seemed to care about her. Who would probably do things for her if she asked. The more she thought about A.J., the more real he became to her. For better or for worse and through no wish of her own, he was now a part of their lives, and she was going to have to get used to him. After all this time, the father she'd never wanted to know was a very real and commanding presence in her life.

She took a few minutes to walk around the block before she returned to the house. When she did, she heard A.J., in the kitchen, talking to someone. The words he spoke caught her attention. She stopped in her tracks to listen.

"I need you to work with me on this, Skye. Yes, this is part of the reason why I came to Philadelphia. No, I can't tell you who this is for, but I need you and a few others, maybe Elizabeth and Emily, to search our databases for doctors' names, hospitals, organizations, anything you can find out regarding liver transplants. I have access to my e-mail. Send me names, phones numbers, good contacts I can call. I need this information as quickly as possible. I know we have other projects going on, but I am making this a number one priority. Pass that along to anyone you recruit to help. If anyone there has questions about this or wants confirmation that I have issued this directive, tell them to call me on my cell or send me an e-mail. I'll answer them as soon as I can. I'm counting on you, Skye. I need this information ASAP. Keep in touch, okay. Thanks."

Julianna leaned against the wall in the hallway and closed her eyes. Her father had kept his promise. He'd told her mother he would call his office and he had. He had his staff gathering information for him at this very moment. He sounded so authoritative, so in control, so in charge of the situation. She never believed her father was that kind of man. From the little she knew and what she had schooled herself to believe, she'd formed a very negative opinion of him. She saw him as a weakling, a coward, a man who couldn't, or wouldn't, face up to his responsibilities. But, somehow, listening to him just now, she saw a man very different than the one she had built up in her mind. She saw a man who was not unreasonable but who expected his requests to be fulfilled. She imagined the workers in his office complying as swiftly as they could with his request, not because they feared him but because they respected him. What did that say about her? she asked herself. She knew she had shown her father little or no respect. Guilt consumed her as she realized she never planned to give him a chance. Never wanted to. She'd wanted to forget he existed. But now, now that he was following through with what he'd told her mother he would do, how could she continue to treat him as if he didn't matter to her? And yet, she knew, deep down, she was nowhere near ready to accept him as her father. And even if he managed, somehow, to help save her mother's life, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to call him "Dad."

Chapter 9

Julianna bypassed A.J. without letting him know she'd heard his conversation and walked into her mother's room.

"Hello, Mama," she said, pleased to see her mother had awakened from her nap.

"Hello. Did you sleep late? I thought I'd see you earlier."

"I stayed upstairs for awhile, but when I came down before, you were sleeping."

"A.J. and I had an early morning conversation over tea and toast. Have you seen him?"

"Yes, I saw him. I think he's in the kitchen. Do you want me to get him?"

"No. He said he needed to do some work. He was going to get his laptop from the hotel room. I told him to use mine."

"He is."

Keesha patted her mattress; Julianna sat down.

"You seem happier this morning, Mama. You like having him here, don't you?"

"I'm relieved that he knows the truth and that he wants to be here. You didn't stay in your room because of him, did you?"

"Partly," she admitted, "but it's not because I was avoiding him. I just...I didn't sleep well, and I needed some time to myself."

Keesha nodded in understanding.

"How long will he be staying?"

"I'm not sure. Why don't you ask him?"

Her daughter shook her head. "I don't want to. But I was thinking that now we have someone else to help you. I know Lisa comes three times a week to help out, but this feels different."

"Because he's your father?" Keesha inquired.

Julianna shrugged. "Maybe. I'm not sure. I just know things have changed."

Keesha brushed a strand of hair from her daughter's face.

"This could be positive if you'd give it a chance. I know you've been carrying a heavy burden, and you know I appreciate everything you do for me."

"I know."

"But you're right. A.J. is here. Why don't you take advantage of that? Call Shelly and go to the mall or see a movie. Take a break, sweetheart. I'll be fine."

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not. I'll talk to A.J. He knows how much you do for me, Julianna. I'm sure he won't mind staying with me."

"If it's really okay, then I would like to go out."

"It's fine, sweetheart. Go. Have a good time. Take all the time you need."

"Thanks, Mama. I love you. I'll have my phone with me. Call me if you need anything. Okay?"

"I will. Enjoy. Don't worry about me."

After Julianna left the room, A.J. knocked softly on Keesha's open door.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Julianna is taking a much-needed and much-deserved break. You don't mind staying with me, do you?"

"No. In fact, I just finished checking my e-mails. I'm waiting for a phone call, but my cell is on. Is there anything in particular you'd like to do?"

"Yes. Please ask Julianna to bring down one of the boxes from my room upstairs. She'll know which ones I'm talking about."

A.J.'s voice carried to Julianna's room. She walked into her mother's old room and retrieved one of the lighter boxes. She knew what her mother wanted to do. She wanted A.J. to see pictures of her as she was growing up. She also had lots of DVDs that she was sure her mother would mention to A.J. She supposed he had a right to see what he had missed, but she was very relieved she didn't have to be around to hear her mother reminisce. Especially not with her father.

*~*

After Julianna left the house, Keesha invited A.J. to pull up a chair so he could sit next to her bed.

"I thought you might like to see Julianna through the years," she said, opening the first photo album and placing it across her lap. "If you want any of the pictures, they're yours, A.J."

She guided him through the photo album. She shared some funny anecdotes and some serious ones as she turned page after page of wonderful memories.

"Julianna looks very happy in these pictures," A.J. said. "I know it's because you've done such a fantastic job raising her."

"She's been my life," Keesha admitted, as she closed the cover of the album. "I thought about you a lot during the years, A.J."

Pangs of guilt assaulted his insides at Keesha's gently spoken words.

"I know you didn't think about me," she said, without a trace of malice. "And I also know if it weren't for Julianna, you wouldn't be here. I just want you to know I'm okay with that."

"Keesha, I didn't know about Julianna when I received your letter, but I came. I came because you wrote that you needed me."

"I wanted you and Julianna to get to know each other. I know she's not being very cooperative but give her time. She's very passionate and she cares deeply. She also hurts deeply, too. It wasn't until her friends at school began asking her about her father that she questioned me. She asked me if I'd seen you since I left Port Charles, and I told her no. Then she asked me if I'd heard from you since I left. I wasn't going to lie to my child, A.J. I felt she was old enough to understand, so I began to spoon feed her bits of information about you. She listened in the beginning, but then she began to tune me out. Eventually, she asked me not to mention your name ever again. Her impression was that you didn't care about us, so she was certainly not going to waste any of her time thinking about you."

The truth hurt, but A.J. knew he had to hear it. He also knew he had to continue to try to reach his daughter.

"Was there...was there ever anyone in your life that she did think of as her father or step-father?"

"I've had a few relationships, only one serious. Once I began working at the hospital, I dated a doctor or an intern here and there. Mostly to attend social functions that the hospital was sponsoring."

"What about the *one* serious relationship?" A.J. asked, his eyes twinkling.

Keesha laughed. "I was engaged to a man who was a schoolteacher. Julianna was mortified. She really liked him, but she said she didn't want her mother to be married to one of her teachers. She said the kids would never let her forget it. I told her we planned to wait until she was no longer going to the school where he taught. That appeased her. Somewhat."

"So what happened?"

"He took a sabbatical from teaching and went to Europe to study. I couldn't go with him, and when he came back, well, let's just say things were never the same between us. Eventually, we parted ways. I don't think Julianna was too upset that her mother didn't marry him."

"What about you? Do you regret not marrying him?"

"No, not really. I'm not sure how well he would've coped with my illness. I think, in the end, things work out the way they're supposed to."

She looked at A.J. Their eyes locked, and then A.J. reached to clasp Keesha's soft hand in between both of his.

"Your getting sick is one thing that should never have happened," he said, his voice thick with emotion.

"But if I hadn't gotten sick, A.J., you wouldn't be here."

The ringing of his cell phone broke the moment.

"I have to take this."

She nodded.

He left her room and spoke from the kitchen. Skye Chandler-Cudahy told him to check his e-mail in an hour. They'd found some useful information, as well as two contacts who would be willing to talk to him.

"Thanks, Skye. I knew you'd come through for me. You're the best."

"Any idea when you might return to the office?" she asked, although she'd assured him, when they'd talked earlier, that things were running smoothly without him.

"No. I'm in Philadelphia for the foreseeable future. But you and the others know how to reach me."

"That we do. Let me know if you need anything else."

"I will. Thanks again. Tell the others I really appreciate their help and their quickness in getting this information to me. You wonderful people may have just played a major role in saving someone's life."

Chapter 10

That evening, when Julianna returned, she found Keesha and A.J. in her mother’s room, laughing while they watched a DVD of her when she was nine years old.

"Mama!" she cried, indignation consuming her when she saw which DVD it was. "No fair! You told me you got rid of that."

Keesha stopped the machine and composed herself.

"I’m sorry, baby. But it’s so funny. I just had to show it to A.J."

"So now you know I’m the world’s worst softball player," she said, her voice glum as she turned away from her father.

"I didn’t think you were that bad," he offered.

"Are you kidding?" she exclaimed, his words forcing her to look at him. "Did you not pay attention to what you were watching? The coach *made* me bat until I hit at least one ball. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice how bright and sunny it was when I started and how night was falling when the coach finally gave up."

"I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration," Keesha said.

"Well, that’s what it felt like to me. Mama, can we *please* destroy that DVD?"

"But you looked soooo adorable in your blue and gold uniform," Keesha protested.

Julianna rolled her eyes; Keesha and A.J. shared a laugh.

"Julianna," A.J. said, "if it makes you feel any better, there are a lot worse things you could fail at. Believe me."

The tone of his voice caught her attention. She saw the look of compassion and understanding in his eyes and, without her wanting it to, the ice around her heart melted just a little bit more.

She nodded her thanks and turned her attention to her mother.

"Because you showed A.J. that DVD, I’m not going to tell you what I brought for you."

"Oh, please tell me. You know I love it when you surprise me."

"Okay," she relented, never able to stay cross with her mother for long. "I brought some of your favorite ice cream."

"Mocha almond fudge?" Keesha squealed in delight.

Her daughter nodded and smiled. She couldn’t help but notice that her mother’s eyes were brighter than they had been in weeks. "Would you like a bowl?"

"Yes! Don’t make me wait."

"Mocha almond fudge." A.J. said the words with fondness. "Could I tell you a story about your mom and mocha almond fudge."

"A.J.," Keesha warned, "don’t you dare!"

"I wanna hear," Julianna said. "Mama, you showed A.J. one of my most embarrassing moments. As payback, I get to hear a story about you."

"Well..." Keesha said, knowing she couldn’t argue with her daughter’s logic.

She just hoped A.J. knew what he was doing.

"Go ahead, A.J.," Julianna said, taking a seat on the end of her mother’s bed. "Tell me."

Keesha shook her head but didn’t try to stop him, even though she would wonder later if she should have.

"This happened many years ago," he began, pleased he had his daughter’s full attention for the first time. "Your mom had come to the Quartermaine mansion to visit. After we’d been playing tennis for a while, your mother said she was hungry. We returned to the main house, and Keesha announced she wanted some mocha almond fudge ice cream. I told her I would call Cook in the kitchen and let her know what we wanted. Well, your mother thought that was absurd. She said she was perfectly capable of scooping ice cream into a dish. I told her she didn’t understand. In our house, you didn't just *walk* into the kitchen, unannounced, to serve yourself. It was forbidden."

"Isn’t that ridiculous?" Keesha asked her daughter.

"Kinda," she agreed. "Why couldn’t you go into your own kitchen?"

"Your mother found out why," A.J. teased, a grin spreading across his handsome features at the memory.

Keesha wanted to crawl under her covers.

"What happened?" Julianna asked, her voice animated. "Don’t keep me in suspense!"

"Your mother, who told me I just didn’t want her to have any ice cream, marched boldly into our kitchen in search of mocha almond fudge. I waited for the inevitable yells, the sounds of pots and pans crashing to the floor, and I was not disappointed."

"Mama, what did you do?"

"I invaded Cook’s territory," she said, looking sheepish.

"Major mistake," A.J. said. "I tried to warn her, but she wouldn’t listen."

"What did this Cook person do?" Julianna asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"She ordered me out of *her* kitchen. Can you believe that? When I tried to reason with her..."

"Keesha," A.J. interrupted, "I told you. You don’t try to reason with a 300-pound woman, who has flaming red hair, and is chasing you around the house with a frying pan aimed at your head!"

"Mama, she didn’t!"

The image that sprang into Julianna’s mind horrified her and almost made her laugh at the same time.

"She did. She told me never to come back into her kitchen again. Ever! I ran for my life when she grabbed that heavy skillet."

"Then what happened?" Julianna asked, clearly interested in the outcome of this tale.

"Your mom made it to the back of the house. I thought I saw a flash of someone in white running by the rose garden. I raced to see if I could help, and I’ll never forget what your mother did."

"What did you do?" Julianna asked.

"A.J., please," Keesha begged, fearing that time had caused him to forget the outcome. "Everything turned out fine, sweetheart."

"But, Mama, I wanna hear what you did. How did you escape?"

"I’ll tell you what your mother did," A.J. said.

Keesha tried to warn him not to go any further, but he was too engrossed in the story and too pleased that he’d finally been able to share something with his daughter, that he didn’t heed her advice.

"To escape Cook," A.J. said, his eyes dancing, "your mother jumped, I kid you not, fully clothed, into our Olympic size swimming pool."

"Mama, you didn’t!"

Julianna couldn’t help but to laugh as she pictured her mother diving head first into a swimming pool, wearing her tennis outfit.

"Guilty as charged," she admitted. "Shoes and all."

"Did Cook relent or did you have to spend hours in the pool avoiding her wrath?"

Julianna giggled at the thought.

What happened after that came back to A.J. with a vengeance. He suddenly realized why Keesha had been silently advising him not to continue with the saga. He swiftly made the decision to finish the story. He’d brought them to this point. He knew he owed it to his daughter, and to Keesha, to tell what happened.

"My brother Jason rescued your mother. He saved the day, not to mention your mother from Cook’s frying pan."

"But I thought you were on your way to save my mom?"

"I got there too late," A.J. admitted. "When I arrived at the pool, your mother was safely in Jason’s arms. Soaking wet, and more than a little embarrassed, but safe, nonetheless."

"Jason just happened to be there," Keesha said, trying to downplay his part in her rescue. "It was no big deal. I was fine."

How many times, over the years, had A.J. heard those words: Jason just happened to be there?

"Mama," Julianna asked because she’d heard Jason’s name in conversations her mother would have, but his role in her mother’s life was never fully explained, "what is the story with Jason?"

"Sweetheart, talking about Jason will have to wait for another time. I want my ice cream!"

"But, Mama, I’ve heard his name. You have talked about him. Why won’t you tell me about him?"

"Because he’s in the past, and my relationship with Jason has no bearing on what’s going on now."

"Keesha," A.J. said, his voice quiet, "that’s not exactly true."

"See?" Julianna said. "I know something went on with Jason. I’d like to know about him. He is my uncle, right?"

"Yes, baby, but he’s not part of our lives. He’s not part of A.J.’s life. I think we need to table this discussion. Who else wants ice cream?"

"Keesha," A.J. said, knowing he had started Julianna’s questions and realizing Keesha had never shared the details of the accident he had caused with their daughter. He wanted the truth about Jason to be told. "If it’s okay with you, I think our daughter should be told about Jason and how I changed his life and his relationship with you forever."

Chapter 11

After Julianna had served each of them a dish of ice cream, she returned to her seat and told them she wanted to hear about Jason.

"A.J., you don’t have to do this," Keesha said. "I can talk to Julianna about Jason some other time."

"No, Keesha," he said, his resolve firm. "I think she should hear what happened from me."

"What’s the big mystery?" she asked, definitely intrigued.

"Jason Quartermaine," A.J. began, "was everything I wasn’t. We couldn’t have been more different if we’d tried."

"They’re half brothers," Keesha clarified, trying to help A.J.

"True," A.J. said, "but it was more than that. I developed my drinking habit pretty early in life. I had the spoiled rich kid routine down to a science."

"A.J.," Keesha gently admonished, "you’re not giving yourself a fair shake."

"I’m being honest," he said. "Yes, there were other factors involved, family was a major one, but still, the choices I made were my own, and I had to live with the consequences. I didn’t do too well in that department for a long time," he went on to explain to his daughter.

"So Jason is the good son," Julianna deducted.

"Oh, yes. Even to this day, as far as I know, although the family hasn’t seen him in a very long time."

"Why haven’t they?" she asked.

"Because one night, while I’d been heavily under the influence of alcohol, I did a very stupid thing which changed my brother’s life forever. By extension, it also changed your mother’s life forever, too."

"What did you do?"

"I got behind the wheel of my car."

"Oh, no!"

"Yes, I did. Jason jumped in the passenger seat."

"Why would he do that? He knew you had been drinking?"

"Yes. He thought he could stop me or save me, but he couldn’t. I took off, with him still in the car, and ended up crashing."

Julianna’s hand flew to her mouth.

"My brother suffered severe brain damage. He’d been studying to be a doctor, to follow in our father’s footsteps, but of course that dream came to a crashing halt. No pun intended."

"Your family must have been devastated."

"Oh, they were. They most definitely were."

"But it was an accident," she said. "You didn’t mean to do it, right?"

"To hurt my brother? No, I didn’t. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was I had harmed him. He had no memory of Jason Quartermaine, so he gave himself a new identity. He became known as Jason Morgan, which he is, as far as I know, to this day."

"How did that affect you, Mama?"

"Jason Quartermaine and I had been together prior to that fateful night. Afterwards, he didn’t remember who I was."

"Mama, that must have been horrible for you!"

"It was," she acknowledged. "But after a time, when I realized he wasn’t going to regain his memory, I got over it and moved on with my life."

"To A.J.," Julianna said, shaking her head. "The one who had caused you to lose the man you loved."

"Baby, you said it yourself earlier. It was an accident. And Jason had no business being in that car."

"So you forgave A.J. just like that?!" she asked, her voice incredulous as she snapped two fingers together. "Why would you take up with him, knowing he had a drinking problem. Mama, it could have been *you* in that car!"

"Julianna, I know this is a lot for you to hear," Keesha said, "but I would prefer if you would concentrate on the present. I really wish you would read an article or two. Your father truly has turned his life around. He talks about his struggles in some of the interviews. He’s not hiding any of this from you. What happened to Jason is unfortunate, yes, but it can’t be undone. Jason has gone on with his life. Would you have wanted your father to never have moved on? I saw how he suffered because of what happened. I witnessed the way his family treated him. Let me tell you, sweetheart, he has paid for that accident. Jason Morgan, who chose a much different life than the one he had, has done some very horrible things, yet, at least while I was living in Port Charles, he was still considered the golden boy. I got involved with A.J. again because I was attracted to him. Yes, Julianna, that’s right. I liked him, and then I fell in love with him. Did I approve of everything he did? No. And I would call him on it. But I enjoyed being with him."

"I loved your mother, too, Julianna, very much."

"But you never once thought about her after she left Port Charles. I sure hope no one ever loves *me* the way you loved my mother."

"Just like Jason that night, Julianna," Keesha said, trying desperately to help her daughter understand, "I made a choice, too. I chose to be with A.J. and to give myself to him, and I don’t regret that decision because it brought you into my life. Was I disappointed that he didn’t keep in touch? Of course I was. Was I distraught when I learned he was drinking again? Yes, very much so. Would I have kept him out of your life and mine? In a heartbeat. But that was fifteen years ago. A lot of things have changed, baby, and now is the right time, in my view, for your father to be in your life. Did I think this was going to be easy? No way. I knew how strongly you felt about your father not being in your life. But do I regret that he’s here? No, because he has shown me he cares about us, wants to be with us, help us, and most importantly, Julianna, he has shown me that we can trust him. One day, baby girl, you are going to understand what I’m saying. It is my fervent wish and prayer that I am still alive to see that day because I know, when you finally realize that you have *your* father in your life and decide to accept, and yes love him, for who he is, it’s going to be one of the happiest and most cherished days of your life and your parents’ lives.

"Your father is right there, Julianna. Don’t you see, sweetheart, that he’s been willing to put himself on the line for you. He wants you to question him, he wants to help erase your doubts, your fears, he wants to open up to you, but he also wants you to open up to him. He wants to be here for us. Can you let him? If not for yourself or your father, then for me? Please?"

Julianna had tears in her eyes by the time her mother finished her impassioned and heartfelt speech.

"Mama, you know how much I love you and how I would do anything for you, but you seem to have unconditional trust in A.J. and unconditional forgiveness towards him. I don’t. I’m sorry, A.J.," she said, turning to look at her father, "but I don’t see you as worthy of forgiveness. I think my mother should be livid with you for abandoning her, but that’s not the kind of person she is. You single-handedly ruined her relationship with Jason. Who knows what would have happened? Yes, maybe they wouldn’t be together to this day, but that choice was taken from her. By you and your stupid drinking problem! Who knows what else you have destroyed with your drinking, not only for my mother, but also for other people. My mother thinks you have paid, but I’m not convinced that’s true. I think my mother has been way too easy on you. My mother is tired. I think you should go now."

"Yes," A.J. said, rising from his chair. "I think you’re right. I have some things to take care of in the morning," he said to Keesha, "but I’ll call to see how you’re doing."

"I’d like that," Keesha said. "I’m sorry this turned into such a rough night for you."

"I value what our daughter has to say," he said, his eyes encompassing both Keesha and Julianna. "Like you, Keesha, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. If you never accept me, Julianna, I will learn to live with your decision. Goodnight. I’ll call you tomorrow."

"Julianna, please walk your father to the door. I’m going to say goodnight, too."

"Goodnight, Mama," Julianna said, her voice subdued. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

*~*

Julianna and A.J. walked silently down the long corridor to the front of the house where she turned on the porch light and unlocked the door.

"May I tell you something?" A.J. asked.

Julianna nodded.

"Tomorrow morning I’m meeting with two consultants who may be able to help me with your mother’s pending liver transplant."

"Does my mother know?"

"No. I thought it best not to tell her until I know for sure what these gentlemen may be able to do. Once I know what I’m dealing with, I want to tell your mother. I’d like for her and me to meet with her doctors if there’s something that can be done that isn’t already being done or considered."

"That sounds like a good plan," Julianna acknowledged.

"You’re welcome to be as involved as you would like. I don’t want to leave you out of anything."

"I want to be there if you meet with Mama’s doctors."

"That’s fine. I’ll let you know the latest when I call tomorrow."

Julianna nodded again. A.J. opened the door and stepped out into the warm, breezy night.

"Goodnight," he said, and then turned to descend the steps.

"A.J.?" his daughter said, causing him to cease walking.

"Yes?"

She swallowed hard before speaking. "I...I know my mother appreciates everything you’re doing for her."

He nodded. "I know she does, too."

He had taken another step when his daughter’s voice stopped him again.

"A.J.?"

He turned and waited to hear what she had to say.

She fumbled with the doorknob as she spoke. "Instead of...instead of calling, why don’t you...you know...come by to tell us what you found out. I...I can make us something tasty for lunch. Okay?"

"Okay," he said, his voice not revealing anything of what he was feeling. "I’ll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. And A.J.?"

"Yes?"

"Drive safely, okay?"

He allowed her a small smile. "I will. I promise."

Chapter 12

Thankful he had thought to pack a couple of business suits along with his causal clothes, A.J., wearing a light gray suit with a matching color tie, stepped off the elevator into the hotel lobby. He saw two gentlemen standing off to the side and approached them.

"Phillip Connors?" he asked, looking from one distinguished-looking man to the other.

"Yes," a tall man with salt and pepper hair responded. "A.J. Quartermaine?"

"Yes."

They shook hands, and then Phillip introduced A.J. to his business partner, Daniel Rodriguez.

"Pleased to meet both of you," A.J. said, after shaking hands with the dark-haired Daniel. "Why don’t we go into the hotel restaurant to talk? I’ll buy you breakfast."

After coffee had been served and the waitress had taken their orders, they got down to business.

"One of your associates, Skye Chandler-Cudahy, contacted us and said you’re looking for some information about a liver transplant for someone."

"That’s correct. The person lives here in Philadelphia and is on a waiting list. But the doctors are also trying out a new drug. I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, but I would like to learn as much as I can about this process, and I’d also like to know if there’s anything I may be able to do or that you or someone you may know who deals with this type of illness and surgery may be able to do."

Daniel spoke up. "I can tell you that it’s a very straightforward process. If the person is on the waiting list, the doctors on the case will be notified when a liver that matches this person’s information becomes available. At that point, the doctors will tell your friend what needs to be done. We can tell you that one of the major factors is that the person has to be ready to go where the liver is. Depending where this person is on the list, if other candidates for the liver are not in a position to have the surgery, they are bypassed to the next name on the list. There is a very short window of opportunity once a liver does become available, but the medical people do try to help in any way they can. People can be ahead of your friend on the list, but if there is a mismatch of any kind with the size or the blood type or their availability, they won’t be getting that particular liver."

"Also," Phillip added, "were you aware that General Hospital in Port Charles is now capable of doing liver transplants?"

"No," A.J. admitted, "I wasn’t aware of that. I never thought about this until just a few days ago."

"You might want to check with them. You can contact the administrative director, Nikolas Cassadine, for information. Ask him if you can consult with their chief of staff, Dr. Ellen Burgess-Harmon. She is the one responsible for having General Hospital become one of the few hospitals in the area that can perform this type of surgery. She and Nikolas will be advised of any livers which may become available."

"That’s fantastic," A.J. said. "Thank you very much for sharing this information with me."

"It’s our pleasure," Daniel said. "Your organization has helped us many times as we try to make more people aware of the programs that are available in their areas and to get the younger people to start thinking more about the effects drinking and taking drugs will have on their health. We’re happy to assist you any time, A.J. I hope you know that."

"I do. And believe me, this morning, you have helped me immeasurably."

*~*

As soon as A.J. returned to his hotel room, he got on the phone and shortly thereafter, he heard Nikolas Cassadine’s voice in his ear.

"Nikolas! This is A.J. Quartermaine."

"A.J.?! Wow, it’s been a long time."

"Yes, it has. How are you?"

"Fine. I guess I don’t have to ask how you’re doing. I see your name in print all the time. I think it’s great."

"Thanks."

"Is this a business call? Do you have a program or a service you want to offer to us?"

"No, it’s actually a personal business call if that makes sense."

Nikolas chuckled. "No, that doesn’t make sense. Explain, please."

A.J. laughed, too. "Yes, I guess I’d better."

He relayed the details of Keesha’s condition, without mentioning her name, and also what he had learned earlier that morning.

"Is it possible to meet with Dr. Burgess-Harmon? After we consult with my friend’s doctors, of course."

"I’m sure Ellen would be more than happy to meet with you. Let me give you her direct number, and once you’ve worked out the details there, call her. I’m positive something can be arranged. She is very proud of her program and the fact that GH is able to assist in keeping even more people alive."

"Thanks very much, Nikolas. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. I’ll be in touch soon."

"Good. If things work out, it sounds as though you might be making an appearance here. You’d better stop by my office to say ‘hello’."

"I will," he assured him. "I definitely will. Thanks again."

"No problem. Good luck. I hope everything works out for your friend."

"Me, too, Nikolas. Me, too."

*~*

Julianna greeted A.J. cordially when he arrived that afternoon.

"Mama had a bad night," she informed him, as soon as he stepped inside. "Michelle, the home care nurse, just left."

"What did she say?" A.J. asked, concerned. "Do we need to do something for your mother?"

"No. Michelle talked to Dr. Williams. He told her to increase Mama’s medication. She’s resting now."

"Did you or your mother talk to the doctor?"

"No. He’ll probably call later to find out how Mama’s doing. A.J.?" she said, as they began to walk towards Keesha’s room.

"Yes?"

"Mama was happy when I told her you were coming. I know you’re helping her. I need to learn to keep how I feel about you to myself."

"I don’t think that’s the answer. I think we both just have to remember to put your mother’s needs above our own."

Julianna nodded as they entered the room. She hung back while A.J. approached the bed.

"Are you feeling better?"

"A little."

"Can we get you anything or do anything for you?"

"Michelle said she was going to call Dr. Williams with an update. She said he might prescribe a stronger medication for me."

"I’ll call his office, Mama," Julianna volunteered. "If he did call in a prescription, I can pick it up."

"Thank you, sweetheart. I’d appreciate that."

Julianna left the room. Keesha reached for A.J.’s hand and squeezed it.

"Last night’s pain terrified me," she confided. "It reminded me how close to the end I really am."

"Keesha, don’t," he said, reaching out to gently stroke her hair and her face. "Do you think maybe your pain was caused by our conversation? Julianna and I agreed not to cause you any stress."

"I got sick, A.J., because I’m not well. My body chose a very effective way to remind me of that fact."

Julianna returned and found her parents sharing a very close and tender moment. She witnessed her father wiping a tear from her mother’s cheek with the pad of this thumb. She heard her mother asking A.J. to hold her, for just a little while, and she watched, with mist-filled eyes, as her father gently enveloped her mother into his strong arms. He seemed to treat her as if she were a precious gift he was afraid would break. Unable to look away, she observed, mesmerized, as her mother laid her head on A.J.’s shoulder and allowed him to offer her the comfort and solace she so obviously needed.

"For however long you need," she heard her father say, "let me be your strength, Keesha. Please let me do this for you."

Julianna silently retreated from the room. She acknowledged her mother needed this time alone with A.J. She left the house to go pick up the medication, believing they wouldn’t even realize she had gone.

*~*

When A.J. heard Keesha’s quiet sobs against his chest, his heart ached for all that he knew Keesha had been shouldering and had been carrying. Alone.

"Go ahead, sweetheart," he whispered against her neck. "Let it out. Let it all out. It’s okay. I’m here for you, Keesha. I’m here."

She continued to cry softly, and he continued to comfort her as best he could.

"Tell me what else you need," he said, when her tears had stopped.

"Hold me closer," she instructed. "Let me feel your warmth, A.J."

He did as she asked. He whispered soothing words in her ear and lovingly massaged her back. Keesha closed her eyes and let his nearness and his words console her. She finally let herself relax completely in his arms. She felt safe. She felt protected. She felt as though she could keep the demons that threatened to possess her at bay. Her head began to clear, and the pain in her body began to ease.

"Thank you," she said, in no hurry to leave his wonderful embrace.

"Keesha, I will do this and more for you anytime you want me to."

She lifted her head and gazed into his worried hazel eyes.

"My time is running out, A.J., and I have a few more things I want to share with you. May I?"

"Certainly, but only if you feel strong enough. I don’t want you to overdo it."

"I feel better," she said.

She leaned back against the propped up pillows but continued to hold A.J.’s hand.

"What do you want to tell me?" he asked, caressing the inside of her wrist with his smooth fingers.

"It’s about Julianna."

"I’m listening."

"As you’ve probably noticed, jewelry is one of our daughter’s main weaknesses. Chocolate is another, but we won’t get into that."

"Noooo," he said and chuckled, glad the mood had lightened a bit. "I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve seen one, maybe even two fingers, that didn’t have a ring on it."

"That child," Keesha said, shaking her head. "She even wears toe rings and must have at least fifty bracelets. I swear sometimes she wears them all. On one wrist!"

A.J. laughed. "At least her jewelry is very tasteful."

"She’s worn jewelry since she was about three. She used to go into my room. She knew exactly where my jewelry box was. She would dress up and be so proud of herself. I couldn’t help but laugh at how she would look sometimes. I have pictures of her in one of the albums upstairs. I’d like you to see them."

"I will," he promised. "I’d love to see what she looked like."

"Because she loves jewelry so much, I decided to purchase a few necklaces, bracelets, rings, and earrings as gifts for her to commemorate special occasions in her life. I also bought cards to go along with each gift, and I’ve written letters to her. The jewelry, cards, and letters are in the bottom drawer of my dresser upstairs. Justus and Dara know about it. In fact, Dara was kind enough to pick up the items I’d selected from a jewelry catalog, and she has my list of when to give Julianna certain items. I want you to know about this, too. Again, everything is included in my Will, but I don’t want Julianna to know. I want my gifts to be surprises for her. Doing this was my way of being able to give to her after I’m gone. She’ll know that I was always thinking about her and that I wanted to be a part of every milestone event in her life. I never want her to forget me, A.J."

"Sweetheart, she won’t. Julianna will never forget you. Never!"

"I think about the things in her life I won’t be a part of, and my heart shatters. The way I felt last night, I don’t think I’m going to make it to see her turn sixteen. I may not even make it through the summer."

Keesha’s voice broke, and she reached for a tissue to dry her eyes.

"Don’t think that way, Keesha. I believe you have every reason to hope for the future."

"Why?" she asked, trying to pull herself together.

"I found out a few things this morning that encouraged me. Do you feel up to hearing about them?"

Keesha nodded.

"Julianna should be a part of this. Would you mind if I go get her?"

"No. If she’s not in the kitchen or the living room, she’s probably upstairs in her room."

"I’ll be right back."

A few minutes later, a concerned A.J. returned to Keesha’s room.

"I looked everywhere I could think of," he said, "but I couldn’t find our daughter. Keesha, I think she’s gone."

Chapter 13

When Julianna arrived at the drugstore to pick up her mother's prescription, she stopped at the magazine rack to check out the latest fashion and teen magazines. As she scanned the various covers, a national periodical that advertised an interview with her father caught her eye. On impulse, she grabbed the publication and headed for the counter to pay for her items.

Once outside, she decided to walk a few blocks to a nearby park. She stopped at one of the vendor carts and purchased a diet soda and a bag of hot buttered popcorn. Spotting an oak tree that offered refuge from the blazing sun, she plopped herself down on the dry grass.

After taking a gulp of the refreshing beverage and munching on a handful of popcorn, she bent her legs at the knees and spread the magazine across her jean-clad thighs. She thumbed through the magazine until she reached her father's interview and was treated to a full-page color photo of him. She stared at his picture for a long moment, her mother's words echoing in her mind.

"Your father is right here," she heard her mother say. "Talk to him, Julianna. Ask him whatever questions you want."

Julianna shook her head as if to free herself from her mother's words and began to read the accompanying interview. What she learned astounded her. A.J. had talked openly to the interviewer about his days as an active alcoholic. He mentioned how he had been to rehab three times and how it wasn't until he'd attended "Changes" that any real, lasting progress had taken place in his life. The descriptions of his hospitalizations and the treatments he'd undergone made her physically ill. He talked about going through detox and how his own family had had to tie him down in the hospital bed several times. He talked candidly about how terrifying withdrawal is. The article depicted a man who said he felt as though he were going to die and sometimes wished he had.

The positive spin on the very graphic and detailed interview was that he got to talk about the company he had founded and the strides they were making towards helping others, especially teens, to understand that there was a better answer than drinking and taking drugs.

The article concluded with A.J. proclaiming that people do have a choice and that his program seeks to help them stay on the right course.

When Julianna finished reading the intense article, she leaned her head back against the tall oak and closed her eyes. She tried to imagine what her father must have gone through and knew she couldn't fathom an ordeal such as the one he'd described. The images that flashed in her mind of what his life must have been like back then made her shiver despite the 80 degree weather. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and turned back to the page that contained the photo of A.J.

Would anyone, looking at you now, she thought, believe what you have endured? I have to talk to you.

Once her decision had been made, she ran, not walked, all the way home.

*~*

A.J. and Keesha breathed a collective sigh of relief when they heard Julianna come through the front door. A.J. stood at the end of the hallway.

"How come you left without telling us?" he asked, before he noticed her labored breathing as she reached him. "Why are you out of breath?"

"I...ran...all the way...home."

She leaned against the wall to slow down her heart rate and to catch her breath.

"Why?" A.J. asked, thinking the worst. "Was someone after you?"

She shook her head.

A.J. let her calm down so she could answer him.

"I need...to talk...to you."

"Okay."

"In the kitchen," she said.

"All right, but visit with your mother first."

Julianna, her breathing returning to normal, nodded and entered her mother's room.

"I'm sorry if I worried you," she said.

"You didn't," Keesha assured her daughter. "I thought you probably went to pick up my prescription. I told A.J. you knew he was here."

"Before I left, you two seemed to be sharing...a moment," she said, looking uncomfortable. "I didn't want to interrupt. I thought I'd be back before you noticed I was gone."

"I understand."

"At the drugstore, there...there was a magazine that caught my attention. It has an interview with A.J. I bought it, Mama, and I read it. I...I'd like to talk to him about it. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay. Go ahead. A.J. wants to talk to us, too, about something he found out about my condition, but right now, I'm ready to take a nap. When I wake up, the three of us will talk."

"Okay. I'll tell A.J. Sleep well, Mama. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thank you."

Julianna pulled the covers tighter around her mother's body and kissed her cheek. Keesha reached to hold her daughter's hand.

"I'm glad you read that magazine."

Julianna smiled. "Me, too."

*~*

When Julianna entered the kitchen, she saw that A.J. had poured them each a tall glass of lemonade and had placed a few homemade chocolate chip cookies on a plate.

"Thank you," she said, taking a seat across from him. "You're getting to know your way around this kitchen."

A.J. nodded and smiled. "I guess I am. You sounded serious. I thought this might take a while. What do you want to talk about?"

"This," Julianna said, placing the publication on the table and turning it to the interview with A.J. "I saw this at the drugstore, and I bought it. I read the entire article. A.J., is what you say in here true?"

"Mind if I glance through the article?" he asked. "I want to make sure I wasn't misquoted."

She nodded and pushed the magazine towards him. While he quickly read it, she drank some of her lemonade and ate a cookie.

"Yes," he said, looking at her after he'd finished reading the interview. "It's true. Why?"

"Because it's horrible!" she exclaimed. "Your own family had you tied down in a hospital bed! That's just cruel!"

"Maybe," he said, "but it was also necessary."

"Why? If you're already in a hospital bed with railings, I presume, why would you have to be tied down?"

"Because of the threat a person heavily intoxicated is to himself or herself and others. Railings wouldn't have kept me in that bed if that's not where I wanted to be."

"But your own family ordered you to be tied to the bed? Why? Why did it have to be them? There must have been other medical personnel who could have looked after you. Did they want to see you strapped down? Did they take some kind of perverse pleasure in treating you like an animal? Is that why? Were they that angry with you? I don't understand, A.J. Help me to understand."

"Sweetheart, I put my family through a lot of agony when I was drinking. Both of my parents are doctors. My father was the chief of staff. I kept messing up. Big time. When they would have to admit me to the hospital, they would have to tie me down. It's standard procedure for a person who is at risk to harm himself or others."

Julianna, in obvious distress, shook her head. "I couldn't imagine ever having to do that to someone. Especially not someone in my family. I can't imagine you having to be strapped to a hospital bed. It sounds like something out of a horror movie."

"That's what it felt like during those demonic times, Julianna. I felt as if I was in a horror movie, and I had been cast as the lead monster."

"Is that why you said...I mean, did you...were you...did you really want to...die? Why would you say that, A.J.? Were you really that miserable that you...that you would have rather been...dead?"

Julianna's voice caught on the last word. She jumped up from her chair, almost knocking it over, and turned away from her father as tears of heartfelt anguish filled her eyes. A.J. stood and crossed to stand behind her. He wanted to touch her, to hold her, but he didn't know if she would flee. Instead he spoke softly.

"Too much alcohol distorts your thinking, your feelings. It blurs the line between reality and fiction. When I was drinking, Julianna, I didn't care about anything or anybody. All I wanted was that next fix. I had to have a drink, no matter what the cost, to myself or to others. I led a miserable life, and yes, sweetheart, sometimes I did believe I would be better off, and everybody else would be, too, if I were no longer around. But once I came out of my alcohol-induced stupor, then I would begin to feel better about myself and my life until something would happen that I would use as an excuse to start drinking again. It's a vicious circle, Julianna, and I don't wish it on anybody."

She turned and stared at her father.

"You talk so clinically about all of this, and yet, what's printed on those pages is your life. How...how can you put yourself on the line like that? How can you be so open about the things you did when you were drinking? Don't you fear ridicule or that people won't want to be associated with you? You must have shocked the man who interviewed you."

"I probably did. I hope I shock more than him, Julianna. If I can't be honest about what I went through, then I can't help anybody. People have to know there's hope. I want people to read what I went through to know they are not alone and to know that someone else has been where they are and has survived and even thrived. I want people, kids especially, who may think drinking is no big deal to read the truth from someone who's been through it. Drinking is advertised as being glamorous. It's supposed to make you popular and fun-loving, but it doesn't, Julianna. The trail of ugliness it leaves in its wake when too much alcohol is consumed is brutal."

"Does your family care about you now that you're sober?"

"For a lot of reasons, Julianna, I'm not in touch with my family. I haven't been since I moved to Manhattan. It just works better for all of us."

"But they know about this, right? They know what you've accomplished and what you're doing, don't they?"

A.J. shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

"But that's terrible! How can you not know what they think, what they feel, whether or not they care about you?"

"Because in order to get sober, I had to make some very difficult choices. My family disowned me. To them, I was never going to get any better. I left Port Charles a broken man. I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was going to go, but my family said they wanted nothing more to do with me, and I knew they meant it. It's true that you have to hit rock bottom. I did."

"You mean you could've ended up, maybe in a gutter somewhere, all alone?"

The thought sent chills down Julianna's spine. She would have never wanted that to happen!

"That could've happened, but for a man who was passing out pamphlets on a street corner."

"About 'Changes'?" she asked.

"Yes. I had nothing, except the clothes on my back when I went to them. They give you shelter, at first, and then, once the alcohol is out of your system, they tell you some very hard, cold facts about what your life has become."

"What made you stick with them? Didn't you want a drink?"

"Julianna, all I wanted was a drink."

"So how did they help you? How did you not drink?"

"I went to a lot of meetings. I still go to AA meetings. I worked with my counselor. I had no family or friends, to speak of, but the people at 'Changes' convinced me I could still have a productive life. They were right."

Julianna shook her head at her own stubbornness. "I was wrong not to have read any of those articles about you. Mama is right, A.J. It took reading about your life for myself to see how far you've come. I realize I could have and should have asked you questions instead of just assuming that your life had been easy. I understand now that it hasn't been easy at all."

"I'm glad you took the time to read that article, and I'm pleased you wanted to ask me these questions. I want you to ask me anything, Julianna. Otherwise, I know you'll continue to have doubts, and I don't want that."

She nodded.

His winsome smile managed to chip away more of the ice that had gathered around her heart. She decided it was time to make him an offer, too.

"I want to tell you something, A.J."

"I'm listening."

"It goes both ways. I want you to feel free to ask me about my life, too. I think it's only fair."

"I have so many questions I want to ask you. It might take all night."

"That's okay," she said, realizing she wanted to spend more time with A.J. "If Mama is still asleep, let's continue to talk."

Chapter 14

Keesha's piercing cry of pain ended any further conversation. A.J. and Julianna raced to her room and gasped at what they saw. Drenched in perspiration and yet shivering uncontrollably, Keesha told them her pain had returned in full force. A.J. wasted no time calling 911.

"The paramedics are on their way," he informed them when he returned to the room.

"So...co-cold," Keesha whispered, her teeth chattering.

"It's the fever, Mama. Help is on the way."

A few minutes later, A.J. heard the wail of the siren and headed for the front door to show the EMTs to Keesha's room.

One immediately began to examine her while another set up the machine to take an EKG.

"Her temperature's 104," the first one announced. "Get an IV going, stat," he told his younger partner.

"Do you know what happened?" the first one asked A.J. and Julianna.

"She wasn't feeling well last night and this morning," A.J. answered. "She has a diseased liver. The home care nurse gave her some medication."

"Can you show me her medications?"

"I'll get them for you," Julianna said.

She returned with her mother's medicine bottles and handed them to the paramedic. He jotted down all the information and gave them back to her. He saw that Keesha almost convulsed in the bed.

"I'm going to give her something that will relieve the pain, and then we'll get her to the hospital. She has an infection somewhere in her body. If it attacks her liver..."

He let the remainder of his sentence hang in the air when he saw Julianna's eyes widen in alarm.

"Why don't you wait outside?" he advised them. "We're going to get your mother to the hospital as quickly as we can."

"Come on, Julianna," A.J. said. "We need to let them tend to your mother."

As soon as they stepped outside, the paramedic closed the door.

"This can't be it," Julianna said, shaking her head. "Dr. Williams warned us about possible infections and how dangerous they were because of Mama's weakened immune system, but this can't be it, A.J. That infection, whatever it is, can't be in Mama's liver. It can't be! It just can't!"

Another cry of pain sent Julianna to her mother's door. A.J. had to restrain her.

"I want to be in there, A.J.! Mama needs me! Mama needs us!!"

"I know you want to be in there, but you can't, sweetheart. Not right now."

"But Mama is in pain! Don't you care?!"

"Of course I care, but we have to let the EMTs do their job. Right now, we'd only be in the way."

"I feel so helpless. I want Mama to know she's not alone."

"She knows, Julianna. Your mother knows we're not going to leave her."

She nodded but didn't say anything. When she heard the click of the door opening, she knew she had to be strong for her mother, who was being wheeled out of the room on a stretcher.

"I'm going with you in the ambulance, Mama," Julianna announced. "I'll be with you. I'm not going to leave you."

"I'm sorry, miss," the younger paramedic said, "but we're going to be monitoring and continuing to work on your mother in the ambulance. Your presence would hinder us."

"I'll take you, Julianna," A.J. said.

The EMTs continued to wheel Keesha down the hallway as they spoke. Julianna followed her out to the ambulance and told her mother that she loved her and that they would be at the hospital soon to be with her.

*~*

"We need to pack some things," Julianna said.

Nervous energy made her scurry around Keesha's room.

"I'll help," A.J. said. "Tell me what she needs."

"Mama likes to have her Bible with her. It's in the nightstand drawer. She also keeps a list of her medications in there. We should bring that, too. I'll pack everything else. I know what she needs."

A.J. walked to the nightstand and opened the drawer. He saw the blue leather-bound Bible lying in the drawer. He withdrew it and placed it on the mattress. He unfolded several pieces of paper, thinking he might find the list of medications. What he saw lying in the back of the drawer surprised him. Along with various papers, Keesha had kept a photograph. It was a picture of her and A.J., taken in front of the Quartermaine Christmas tree in 1997. A.J. stared at it in wonder. He planned to return it to her, but for just a little while, he wanted to keep it. He tucked it into his shirt pocket and continued to look for the medication list.

"Do we have everything?" he asked his daughter a few minutes later, when he saw her zipping up the overnight bag.

"I think so."

Julianna, who had been racing to get the items packed into the bag, took a moment to glance around the room. When her eyes fell on her mother's empty bed, her chest became heavy. She suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"Mama's really sick," she said, speaking as if to herself. "She's in so much pain. This is what Dr. Williams said would happen. He tried to prepare us for this, but now that it's actually happening..."

Her voice shook as she began to tremble with fear. She tried to stop the tears, but they came anyway. Without realizing what she was doing, she reached out for her father. A.J. embraced her lovingly and whispered words of comfort and encouragement. She buried her face in the fabric of his shirt and allowed herself to be consoled by him. A.J. gave her all the time she needed.

"Thank you," she said, when she had calmed down. "I...I guess you can tell I'm feeling overwhelmed."

"We both are," he assured her. "But I'll be here for you and your mother, Julianna. I want you to know that."

"I do," she said and offered him a weak smile.

She grabbed the strap of the overnight bag.

"We need to get to the hospital," she said, not wanting to give herself a chance to think about what had just taken place.

*~*

Once they arrived and found out that Dr. Williams was examining Keesha, they took a seat in the waiting room and filled out the required forms.

"When can we see her?" Julianna asked the nurse on duty when she returned the clipboard, pen and completed forms.

"Dr. Williams knows you're here. He'll talk to you soon. Just take a seat in the waiting room, please."

"What did the nurse say?" A.J. asked.

"She said Dr. Williams knows we're here, and he'll see us soon."

"And Justus? What did he say?"

Julianna had called him on her cell phone from A.J.'s car.

"He said he and Dara will be here by tonight."

A.J. nodded.

As the minutes slowly ticked by, Julianna and A.J. became lost in their own thoughts. Julianna jumped up when she saw Dr. Williams approaching them.

"Is my mother okay?" she asked, as soon as he reached them.

"She's asleep," he informed them.

"What's the diagnosis?" A.J. asked.

"Keesha does have an infection. The good news is it has not spread to her liver. The bad news is she is not strong enough right now to undergo surgery should a liver become available."

"When can we see her, Doctor?" Julianna asked.

"I'm keeping her in the ER for a while longer to monitor her condition. Later on, she'll be moved to ICU. You'll each be able to visit her for ten minutes. She needs her rest and antibiotics. I'll let you know when she's been moved."

"Thank you," A.J. said.

A.J. and Julianna returned to their seats in the waiting room.

"That's good the infection isn't in her liver," Julianna said.

A.J. agreed.

"But I know Mama's getting weaker," she added. "That's why she's so sick. If Mama doesn't get better, then she won't be able to have the operation, which means Mama will..."

Her voice trailed off. She couldn't bring herself to say the word.

Encouraged that she had turned to him earlier, A.J. tentatively placed his arm around her shoulders and was heartened when, instead of pulling away as he feared she might, she laid her head on his shoulder.

"We need more time," she said, her voice filled with sadness. "Mama has to recover from this. She has to!"

Julianna closed her eyes, wanting to block out everything. A.J. held her and let her rest, hoping she was drawing some comfort from him.

*~*

Two hours later, A.J. saw Dr. Williams heading their way. He gently tapped Julianna's arm to wake her up. Groggy and disoriented, it took her a few seconds to remember where she was. She stood up when the doctor arrived.

"Keesha has been moved to ICU," he told them. "You can go to the fifth floor. One visitor at a time for ten minutes only."

"Okay. Thank you, Dr. Williams."

They rode the elevator to the fifth floor and then approached the nurses' station.

"We'd like to see Keesha Ward," A.J. said.

The nurse checked her computer and then nodded.

"Who wants to go first?"

"Her daughter would," A.J. said.

"Okay. Follow me, please."

Julianna smiled gratefully at A.J. and then followed the nurse into Keesha's room. Her mother had been in the hospital before, but this was the first time she'd been in ICU. Julianna tried not to freak when she saw how many machines were hooked up to her mother. She took a seat next to the bed and gently held Keesha's warm hand in her own. Her mother seemed to be breathing normally. Julianna knew that was a good sign.

"I know you need your rest, Mama, so I don't want to disturb you. I just hope you can feel my presence and all the love I'm sending your way. I know you're going to get better. I have to believe that, and I do."

Julianna tenderly caressed her mother's hand as she watched her sleep.

"We brought a few things from home that I know you like to have with you. I'll unpack them and I'll tell the nurse so she knows what you have."

Julianna made quick work of the few items she had packed, and then she carefully placed her mother's cherished Bible on top of the table next to her bed.

"I know you will appreciate seeing that when you wake up. I hope you're resting comfortably. I'm sorry you've been in such pain. Feel better, Mama. I love you so much."

Julianna stood over her mother and stroked Keesha's hair with her fingers. She entwined her fingers with her mother's and pressed them together.

"I hope you can feel that, Mama. I'm here with you. Always."

The nurse entered the room. Julianna nodded, knowing it meant her time was up.

"A.J. is going to visit you. Justus and Dara are arriving tonight. I'll visit you again, Mama, as soon as they let me. I love you."

Julianna kissed her mother's cheek and then exited the room.

*~*

"Please do me a favor?" Julianna asked A.J. before he entered Keesha's room.

"What do you need?"

"Will you...will you read Mama the Twenty-Third Psalm before you leave? It's her favorite one, and I think she would really like to hear you recite it to her. I left her Bible on the table next to her bed."

"Sure," he said, familiar with the Psalm. "I can do that."

"Thank you."

A.J. walked into Keesha's room and was immediately reminded just how sick she was. She looked like a waif lying in the bed. But her face was not contorted in pain for which he was thankful. She seemed to be at peace.

He sat where Julianna had and held her hand in his. He also brushed the hair from her forehead.

"Like Julianna, I am hoping we have more time together. I know just how strong you are, sweetheart, and I know you can rebound from this. There is a liver out there for you, Keesha. I believe that with everything I am. We just have to get you well so you can receive it. I know you need to rest, so I'm not going to say too much. Just know I am here and that I will be with you and our daughter for as long as you need me. You are one incredible lady, Keesha Ward, and I know you have more time left on this Earth."

He spent the next few minutes watching her sleep and holding her hand, and then his eyes traveled to the Bible sitting on her table.

"Julianna asked me to read you the Twenty-Third Psalm," he said, picking up the Book. "I don't have much practice at this, as you probably know, but as soon as I locate the Psalm, I'll read it to you. I hope this brings you comfort, Keesha."

He found the Psalm and after clearing his throat, he began to recite the words of the beloved and probably most well-known Psalm out loud. When he finished, he reverently closed the Bible and returned it to the table. He reached for Keesha's hand once more.

"I know with the way you've been feeling, you probably would rather be beside those still waters, sweetheart, and I know you fear no evil. I also know that you believe you will be going to a better place when you leave this Earth. Call me selfish, Keesha, but I don't want you going there for a long, long time. Sleep, sweetheart. And when you feel better, come back to us. Because we need you. So very, very much."

Chapter 15

"Are you hungry?" A.J. asked Julianna once they had driven away from the hospital. "Should we stop somewhere to eat?"

"I can cook something at the house," she said without enthusiasm.

"I don't want you to have to do that. Do you like Chinese food? We can get take-out if you want."

"Sure. That's fine."

She directed A.J. to the nearest Chinese restaurant and stayed in the car after telling him what she wanted. When he returned, she was sound asleep. He didn't wake her until they arrived at the house.

"I don't feel like eating," she said. "I just want to go upstairs."

"All right. When you're hungry, the food will be here."

She nodded and then left A.J. alone in the kitchen.

He ate some of the food and then put the remainder in the refrigerator. He'd bought extra in case Justus and Dara were hungry when they arrived.

He returned to his seat at the kitchen table and thought about their impending arrival. It had been a long time since he'd seen either of them. He hadn't wanted to ask Keesha, but he assumed they wouldn't be too tolerant of him. He'd managed, through his own choices as well as those of other people's, to avoid having much contact with anyone from Port Charles. He realized that was probably about to change.

Thinking about Port Charles led him to pull the picture from his pocket. He took the time to study it more closely and realized he and Keesha looked happy, even though his world had just been turned upside down because Carly had announced that Jason was the father of her unborn baby.

Looking at the picture, he was reminded of how unwavering and committed Keesha had been in her support of him. She had been the only one on his side. Even Robin Scorpio had kept Jason and Carly's secret for far too long, and only when she realized her relationship with Jason was over, did she tell A.J. what she had believed to be the truth at that time.

"Why *didn't* I ever call you?"

He spoke softly to the picture as he touched Keesha's face.

Hearing Julianna's footsteps on the stairs, he returned the picture to his pocket and waited for her to enter.

"Did you sleep?" he asked.

"A little," she said, sliding onto a chair. "Mostly, I wrote in my journal."

"You keep a diary," he said. "That's nice."

"I like to write down my thoughts while they're fresh in my mind," she elaborated.

A.J. nodded. "How long have you kept a journal?"

"Mama gave me my first one when I was ten. She said she was tired of seeing me writing on napkins and scraps of paper."

Julianna chuckled at the memory of her mother shaking her head at her daughter's writing habits.

"Sounds like maybe you're going to be a writer."

"Not stories," she clarified. "But I do write poems, and I'm starting to learn how to write my own songs."

"Really?" A.J. said.

Julianna could tell he was impressed.

"I'm not very good," she admitted, "but I want to learn the craft. It's fun."

"Has your mother ever seen any of your songs?"

"A few. Mama thinks it's great that I want to become a songwriter, but she loves it when I play the piano and sing. Those are some of her favorite and our most special times."

"I would love to hear you play and sing some time, too," A.J. ventured. "I'd like to see the songs you've written, too, *if* you ever want to share them with me."

"I keep my songs pretty much to myself," she said. "My best friend Shelly doesn't even know I've written any. I know they're not that good, but they're very private to me."

"I understand."

"But," she offered, truly not wanting to hurt him, "I will play the piano and sing a song for you some time. When I'm in a better mood. Okay?"

"That would be wonderful," A.J. said and smiled. "Whenever you feel like it, Julianna. No pressure."

"No pressure," she repeated.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat?"

"Well," she said, realizing her stomach was growling. "Maybe I will have some chow mein."

A.J. warmed a dish of chicken chow mein in the microwave and sat with her while she ate.

"Can we call the hospital after I've eaten?" she asked. "I want to find out how Mama's doing and when we can see her again."

"Of course. You call while I clean up."

"A.J., you don't have to wait on me. I can rinse my dishes."

"I know, but I want to."

"Where do you live in Manhattan?" she suddenly asked.

"I live in a penthouse apartment on Park Avenue overlooking Central Park."

"Ritzy area," Julianna said.

She seemed amused more than anything.

A.J. shrugged and then gave her a small smile. "You could say that."

"Mama and I always planned to go to Manhattan to stay for the weekend, but we never made it."

"You should still plan on it. I believe your mother is going to get better and is going to get a new liver. And just think. Now you and your mother will have a place to stay."

"With you?" she asked, trying to wrap her mind around *that* concept.

"Of course. You're welcome any time, Julianna, and so is your mother."

"A.J., I have to be honest. I haven't thought much about the future. I know you're here now, but down the road? I don't view you as my father, and I don't think I ever will. I see you as someone who is just making a stop in my life at this particular time. I don't mean to hurt you, really I don't, but when you start talking about the future, well, frankly, it scares me because all I care about is that my mother survives."

"I guess I got carried away with the idea that you would want to see where I lived. I understand it's not a priority in your life."

"I just think we need to take things one day at a time. We don't know what's going to happen with Mama, and that's where my concern is."

"You're right. Let's just concentrate on Keesha getting well."

*~*

When Julianna called ICU, the nurse on duty told her there had been no change in her mother's condition.

"When can we see her again?"

"Tomorrow morning. Dr. Williams left instructions that you can visit her in the morning for ten minutes and in the afternoon for ten minutes."

"Okay. Thank you."

As soon as Julianna relayed the message to A.J., the doorbell rang. Julianna answered it, and seconds later heartfelt hugs ensued.

"I'm so glad you're here," Julianna gushed. "I know Mama appreciates it, too."

"Is your father here?" Justus asked.

Julianna nodded. "He's in the kitchen."

"How's your mother doing?" Dara asked, as they headed in that direction.

"I just called the hospital. The nurse said she's the same. She has an infection, but it hasn't gone to her liver, thank goodness. She's in ICU."

"She's never been in ICU before," Dara said, alarmed.

"I know." Julianna frowned. "Mama is really sick. I'm so afraid she's not going to make it."

Dara and Justus shared a concerned look before Dara took Julianna into her arms and hugged her again.

"We have to stay positive," she said to the young girl. "Keep the faith, baby girl. Okay?"

"I've been trying to," Julianna said. "I'm so glad you guys are here."

"And we're going to stay for as long as you and your mother need us," Justus said.

They reached the kitchen and saw A.J.

"Hello, A.J.," Justus said, keeping his voice neutral.

"Hi, Justus, Dara. It's been a long time."

"Hi, A.J.," Dara said, following her husband's lead.

"Sit down," Julianna said. "We have Chinese food, if you would like some, or I can cook you something."

"We're fine," Dara assured her. "We ate on the way here."

"Can we get you something to drink?" A.J. offered.

"Maybe later," Justus said. "Right now, we want to hear about Keesha."

Julianna told them what had happened.

"What is her doctor saying?" Dara asked.

"He said the infection isn't in her liver but that Mama couldn't undergo surgery if a liver became available because she's too weak."

"I'd like to talk to Dr. Williams tomorrow," Justus said.

"I want to go to the hospital in the morning," Julianna said. "The nurse said we can visit for ten minutes. Maybe he'll be there?"

"Maybe. If not, I'll call his office."

A.J. saw an opening and decided to take it. "Before Keesha got sick, I was trying to find out as much as I could about liver transplants. I never got a chance to mention this to Keesha or Julianna, for that matter, but General Hospital in Port Charles has the capability to perform liver transplants. I realize Keesha couldn't have one done now, but I'm believing she's going to pull through this."

"We all are," Dara said.

"So if the opportunity presents itself, maybe we could mention this to Dr. Williams, too, just so he's aware of another possible avenue?"

"I guess it wouldn't hurt. He never mentioned GH to us when we talked about Keesha being on the list for a new liver."

"Mama would have to go to Port Charles if she were to have the surgery?"

"That's one of the possibilities," Justus said, "but it does make sense."

"Keesha asked me not to mention her name, but I've talked with Nikolas Cassadine. He was very helpful. I was going to try to set up a meeting with Dr. Ellen Burgess-Harmon, the chief of staff, if Keesha said she wanted to proceed, but with her getting sick..."

"That changed everything," Dara said.

A.J. nodded.

"Maybe we should still mention it to her doctor," Justus decided. "The more options the better at this point."

"That's how I was viewing it, too," A.J. said.

"Is there anything you need, Julianna?" Dara asked.

She shook her head. "Just for Mama to get well."

Dara nodded, smiled and tenderly brushed Julianna's hair with her fingers.

"We got a suite at a nearby hotel," she said. "You're welcome to stay with us, Julianna."

"Thank you, but I think I'll stay here."

"A.J., where have you been staying?" Justus asked.

"I have a room at the Hilton, but I've stayed here a couple of nights, too."

When Justus' eyebrows shot up, A.J. quickly explained.

"I slept on the couch in the living room."

"Where are you staying tonight?" Justus wanted to know.

"I hadn't thought about it," A.J. admitted. "If Julianna wants to be alone, I could go back to the hotel."

"You don't have to," Julianna spoke up. Her words surprised Justus and Dara. "I'd like it if A.J. stayed here."

"Is that really what you want, Julianna?" Justus asked.

"Yes," she said. "Plus, I think Mama would be happy knowing that A.J. was here. Mama has enjoyed having A.J. here. I can tell. It's okay with me if he stays. We can keep each other company."

"If you're sure..." Justus said, still perplexed by Julianna's decision but not wanting to cause trouble.

"I'm sure."

"Well," Dara said, "it's been a long day for us. If you don't need anything, we're going to head for the hotel."

"I'm fine," Julianna said, rising from the chair to give each of them a hug and a kiss. "Thank you so much for being here. I love you."

"We love you, too, baby girl," Dara said. "We'll call you in the morning to find out what time you want to go to the hospital."

"Okay."

They said goodnight to A.J. and then Julianna walked them to the door.

"We'll talk more tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded.

"I almost forgot," Dara said.

She pulled out a business card from the hotel and handed it to Julianna.

"There's the phone number. We're in Room 515. If you need anything at all, you call us. We don't care what time it is. Got that?"

"I got it. Thank you so much."

"We love you," Justus said, enveloping her into his muscled arms. "We're going to take good care of you and your mother."

"I know."

They said their good-byes. Once the car had pulled away, Julianna locked up the front door and then returned to the kitchen.

"They're very protective of me," she said, by way of explanation.

"I think it's great," A.J. said.

"They only want what's best for me."

"I saw that. Believe it or not, Julianna, I want what's best for you, too."

"I know," she said, "that's why I told them it was okay if you stayed here."

"Is that really what you want?"

"Yes. If it wasn't, I would have said so."

"Okay. I just wanted to be sure."

"I knew this was going to be awkward, but they are my family, A.J. They're Mama's family, too. I know Justus is your cousin," she added. "Mama explained the relationship to me, but he will go along with what I want as long as he knows I won't be hurt. Maybe you and Justus can work out your differences."

"Maybe," A.J. said, although he didn't feel hopeful at that moment.

"He only wants to see Mama and me happy. That's all he's ever wanted."

A.J. nodded. "I'm grateful for him and Dara. Truly I am."

Julianna smirked. "You don't look very grateful, but what about this? How about if I play a song on the piano for you? I might even sing."

"Do you feel up to it?"

"Yes. Music helps me to relax. C'mon," she said, walking out of the kitchen. "Let's go into the living room."

While A.J. sat across from her so he could watch her fingers as they flew across the keys, she turned on a few lights, and then she lifted the top of the piano bench and removed some sheet music. She placed in on the holder in front of her, got comfortable on the bench, and began to warm up her nimble fingers and her voice. When she felt confident, she turned to her father.

"This is one of my mother's favorite songs," she said, her voice suddenly quiet. "I think I'm beginning to understand why."

She began to play and sing. Her lilting voice amazed A.J. He couldn't believe what a lovely singing voice his own daughter possessed. She sang with passion. She sang with feeling. If A.J. closed his eyes, he could almost see Keesha's grandmother, Mary Mae. The strength, conviction and the purity of Julianna's voice mesmerized A.J. When he finally realized what a beautiful singer his daughter was, the song was almost half over. It was then that the words hit him, and suddenly, he knew why Julianna had said it was one of her mother's favorite songs and that she was beginning to understand why. He realized it epitomized everything Keesha stood for and believed in. He couldn't help but to believe that Keesha thought about him when she heard the song. He listened carefully as Julianna sang the song one more time. Just for him.

*~*
Kiss today goodbye,
The sweetness and the sorrow
Wish me luck, the same to you
But I can't regret
What I did for love, what I did for love
*~*
Look my eyes are dry
The gift was ours to borrow
It's as if we always knew,
And I won't forget what I did for love,
What I did for love
*~*
Gone,
Love is never gone
As we travel on,
Love's what we'll remember
*~*
Kiss today goodbye,
And point me t'ward tomorrow.
We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for
Love

*~*

When Julianna had finished the song, she closed the cover on the piano keys and turned to look at her father. The tears in his eyes surprised her.

"That was absolutely beautiful, Julianna. You have a wonderful voice. Thank you for sharing your gift with me."

Emotional herself, she nodded and stood to go to her room. She was exhausted and hoped sleep would come. At the doorway, she stopped and looked at her father.

"Can I tell you something, A.J.?"

"Yes."

"Mama loved you, and I'm beginning to think she still does. Why didn't you ever think about her?"

Julianna left A.J. wondering if those words were going to haunt him for the rest of his life. Alone in the room and with the lyrics to the song his daughter had so brilliantly sang still swimming in his head, he pulled the picture from his pocket and stared at it for the longest time. He could draw only one conclusion.

"I have to be the biggest idiot who was ever born."

(Song credit: "What I Did For Love" - from the musical "A Chorus Line")

Chapter 16

A.J. woke to the smell of French Roast coffee. He entered the kitchen and saw his daughter at the stove, cooking what looked to be a ham and cheese omelet.

"Good morning," he said.

"Mornin’," she returned. "There’s coffee if you want a cup."

"I do," he said, opening the cupboard to retrieve a mug. "That omelet looks and smells delicious. How long have you known how to cook?"

"Several years," she replied as she served the breakfast. "I love to cook. Mama and I enjoy baking, too."

They sat at the table and ate their food.

"I bet you are a fast-food junkie," she said and laughed.

"No," A.J. defended. "Not really. I do eat out a lot, that’s true, but I try to eat healthy."

"Maybe you should have someone like that Cook person to make your meals."

A.J. shook his head. "One Cook in my lifetime is enough for me."

"I’m surprised kitchens don’t terrify you."

He laughed. "I think they did for a while."

"So you don’t have anyone who cooks for you?"

A.J. shook his head.

"How about a live-in maid or a cleaning lady?"

"I have neither. I am proud to say I take care of my own apartment. I even do windows."

Julianna laughed. A.J. loved hearing the sweet sound.

"I actually don’t mind cleaning," he continued. "It’s therapeutic. I can take out my aggressions on the vacuum cleaner."

"Do you have a lot? Of aggressions, I mean."

"No. I have a few, now and then, but compared to twelve years ago, I live a pretty normal life."

"Are you a loner?" she asked, her eyes peering at him over her glass of orange juice.

"If you mean am I alone, the answer is yes. But I have managed to form a few good friendships. I socialize. I also have business functions I have to attend. I keep very busy."

"So you’re alone but not lonely."

"May I be honest with you?"

She nodded.

"Until I came here, I didn’t think I was lonely. But now that I know I have a daughter, I’ll never look at my life the same way again. I love you, Julianna. I know you may never love me, and I can respect that, but please believe me when I tell you that there will never be a day or even an hour that goes by when I won’t wonder what you are doing and if you’re all right."

"But, A.J...." she said, unprepared for this declaration from him.

He cut her off. His tone was firm. "It’s my right as a father to care about you and to wonder how you are. No one can take that away from me. No one."

*~*

Julianna thought about her father’s impassioned words while she got ready to go to the hospital. She realized she liked knowing that A.J. would always care about her and want the best for her. It comforted her to know she had someone else on her side, looking out for her best interests. She had no doubt that A.J. was in her corner and probably always would be.

When Julianna came downstairs, she was surprised to see that Dara and Justus had arrived. After they hugged, Dara told her they would be taking her to the hospital to see her mother, and then they were treating her to a nice, leisurely lunch.

Julianna thanked them, and then she glanced at A.J. He saw the puzzled look on her face and was quick to reassure her.

"It’s okay, Julianna. I’m going to head back to the hotel. I need to return a few business calls and check my e-mail. If your mother is awake, please tell her I'm thinking of her, and I hope she's feeling better. I’ll visit her tonight."

"All right."

The disappointment she felt that he wouldn't be accompanying them amazed her. She started to walk towards the front door with Justus and Dara when she abruptly turned around and ran back to her father. She gave him a quick hug.

"I’m going to miss you," she said, surprising herself even as she knew the words were true.

A.J.’s heart soared, but he didn’t let his happiness show.

"I’m going to miss you, too," he told her, "but it’s only fair that Dara and Justus get some alone time with you."

She nodded and said good-bye, only after he assured her that he would see her later.

*~*

After A.J. had showered and dressed in his hotel room, he used his cell phone to call Skye.

"A.J.!" she said, happy to hear from him. "What’s going on?"

"I’m still in Philadelphia and will probably be here even longer than I originally thought."

"Is everything okay?" she asked, immediately concerned.

"Not really, but I’m hoping for the best."

"I’m sorry to hear that," she said sincerely.

"Thanks. Bring me up to date. What’s the latest?"

Skye began to fill him in on the deadlines they’d met, new ones that had been issued, and the budget projections for various programs. When he asked what calls he needed to return, she ran down the list of names and phones numbers. After she had to repeat one name and number four times, she stopped.

"A.J., are you even listening to me?"

"Yes, I am. I just want to make sure I have the right information. Tell it to me again."

"You’re distracted," she declared and wouldn’t give him anymore messages.

"I’m not distracted," he retorted. "My pen ran out of ink. That’s all."

"Yeah, right," she said and snickered. "It’s a woman, isn’t it, A.J.? Whatever this is you’re doing in Philly involves a woman, doesn’t it?"

"Skye, please, I told you I can’t talk about it."

"Because it involves a woman," she insisted. "C’mon, A.J. We’ve shared a lot over the years. You can confide in me. You know I’m trustworthy."

"Where’s your husband?" he asked, exasperated. "I need those messages, Skye!"

"All right, all right," she said, knowing how far to push him. "You obviously are not paying attention, so I will send them to you via e-mail. Okay?"

"Yes, that will be fine. Any other pressing issues I should be aware of?"

"Not that I can think of. If something comes up, I’ll be in touch."

"Sounds good."

"I didn’t mean to push, A.J., but I am concerned."

"I know. You care about me. I care about you, too. And you’re right. This situation does involve a woman, but it’s not what you think."

"If you do need to talk, I’m here."

"Thanks. I'll be able to tell you about this some day, just not right now. I appreciate your concern. I know you guys are doing a great job. Give my best to everyone there and don’t forget to send me those messages!"

Skye laughed. "Yes, sir, Mr. Quartermaine, sir! I’m typing an e-mail to you as we speak. See how multi-talented I am."

A.J. rolled his eyes, but he had to laugh. "Good-bye, my dearest Skye."

"Bye, sweetie. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will. You take care, too, and give my best to Tom."

*~*

Later that afternoon, A.J. was surprised when he heard a knock on his hotel room door. Not expecting a maid or room service, he looked through the peephole and was pleased to see Julianna’s face. He opened the door and welcomed her, Dara and Justus into his room.

"How’s Keesha?" he immediately asked.

"Mama’s better, A.J.!" Julianna gushed. "Her fever broke, and Dr. Williams said the medicine is working. Isn’t that great news?!"

"It sure is."

"Her liver was unaffected by this illness," Justus said. "If Keesha continues to improve, they’ll move her out of ICU tomorrow."

"That’s excellent. Was she awake? Did you get to talk to her?"

"That’s the only bad part," Julianna said. "Mama was sleeping, but the doctor said she needed it, so we didn’t disturb her. Maybe she’ll be awake tonight! You’re still going to the hospital, right?"

"Yes, I was planning to."

"We were going to take Julianna grocery shopping," Dara said, "and then head back to the hospital. Afterwards, we thought we’d go to dinner. You’re more than welcome to join us, A.J."

"Yes," Justus affirmed. "It’s no problem if you would like to come with us."

"If you’re sure I’m not intruding..."

"You’re not," Dara confirmed.

"Then I would like to," A.J. said.

Julianna’s smile was all the encouragement A.J. needed to know he had made the right decision.

Chapter 17

An awake and somewhat alert Keesha greeted her daughter when she entered the room.

"Mama! I'm so happy you're awake. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

Julianna gently hugged her mother before taking a seat.

"Dr. Williams said you'll be out of ICU tomorrow."

"I heard that, too, from one of the nurses."

"Maybe you'll be able to come home soon."

"I hope so. Have you been staying at the house by yourself?"

Julianna shook her head. "A.J. stayed with me last night. Dara and Justus are here, too."

"How's that going?" Keesha asked, her brow furrowing.

Her daughter shrugged. "Not too bad, considering. We're all going to dinner after we leave here."

Keesha couldn't hide her surprise.

"You are our main concern, Mama."

*~*

Julianna's words were confirmed by Dara and Justus when they each spent a few minutes with her. Dara assured her dearest friend that Justus and A.J. were on their best behavior, for her sake and the sake of her daughter.

"You're not going to fight with A.J., right?" Keesha asked Justus, when it was his turn to visit.

Justus laughed. "There will be no fighting."

"I'm serious," she said, with a spurt of energy that surprised them both. "You know how I feel, Justus. I need you to respect my wishes."

"I do, Keesha. Besides, he doesn't seem to be causing any trouble. He actually appears to be helping."

"Don't sound so shocked."

"But I am. I have to be honest, don't I?"

"I suppose. I just want things to be calm for Julianna's sake."

"They are. You don't have to worry, Keesha. We all want the same thing: for you to get better."

*~*

A.J. smiled when he entered Keesha's room and saw that she was feeling better. At her request, he reassured her that everything was fine on the home front.

"Julianna played the piano and sang for me last night."

Again, Keesha couldn't hide her surprise.

"She did? A.J., that's wonderful. She must be feeling comfortable around you. She doesn't sing for just anybody. I think she really likes you."

"We have been getting to know each other better. She's asking me questions and letting me ask her questions."

"She told me she read a magazine that had an interview with you. I think it must have made a huge impact on her."

"We talked about it. What she read bothered her."

"What did the article say?"

"The guy wanted me to talk candidly about my alcoholism and what I went through, so I did. I think some of the images and scenes I described disturbed Julianna a lot, but they were all true, and I told her that."

"It seems to have brought her closer to you and for that, I'm grateful."

"Me, too. I love her, Keesha. I know she may never love me, but I cannot imagine her not being in my life. When I found out that Michael wasn't my son, I gave up hope of ever becoming a father. I just figured it wasn't meant to be, and that the world would probably be better off if I didn't father any children."

"That sounds like the old A.J. talking," Keesha gently admonished.

"Yeah, I know, but I can't help it. He surfaces every once in a while. Finding out about Julianna has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. When she answered the door that first time, somehow I knew she was mine, even though I had no confirmation. I just knew Julianna was my daughter. Thank you, Keesha, for allowing me into her life."

"I didn't know what to expect," Keesha admitted. "I struggled with my guilt for so many years, but I told myself I was doing the right thing. You had moved on, and I needed to do the same. When Justus told me about what happened to Sonny and Carly and how the rumor around town was that you were not Michael's father, I figured you would be devastated. I wondered if news like that would make you start drinking again. I was happy for you, A.J., when Justus told me you seemed to be taking the truth in stride. But I still didn't know if I should bring you into Julianna's life. When I got sick, then I knew I had to."

"I've come to terms with your reasons, Keesha. I wish I could've been a part of Julianna's life earlier, but I know I wasn't in a good place for a long time. I wouldn't have wanted her to have witnessed that part of my life. I'm sorry it took you getting sick to give me this chance, but I am grateful for every moment I have. With both of you."

"I have a confession to make. One thing I never told Julianna about was Michael. I thought it would only add to her resentment of you. But now I think it would help her to understand you even more if you told her about Michael. She would see that you have always wanted to be a father, and she'll know, without a doubt, that she is the one who has made that possible for you. What do you think, A.J.? I think Julianna should know about Michael. Don't you?"

Chapter 18

Julianna and A.J. left Dara and Justus after agreeing to meet at the hospital the following morning. Justus said that since Keesha was feeling better, maybe they could talk to her doctor about her liver transplant.

"What about you, Julianna?" A.J. asked when they arrived at the house. "Do you want me to stay tonight or go back to my hotel?"

"Would you mind staying with me?" she asked.

"Of course not."

Once they were inside, Julianna told A.J. she needed to do a few things in her room.

"That's fine. I need to check my e-mails."

After entering her room and turning on a light, she started up her computer and the Web cam. She realized it had been a couple of days since she'd chatted with Michael. She smiled when she saw him and said "hello."

"Hey, stranger," he responded. "I thought maybe you ran away or somethin'."

"No, I'm still here. Mama had to go to the hospital. She was in ICU, but she's feeling better."

"I'm sorry she's sick, but I'm glad she's feeling better."

"Me, too. I hope she can come home soon."

"So you have the house all to yourself?"

"Nah. My father is staying here. Two of my cousins are here, too, but they're at a hotel."

"Are things going okay with you and your father?"

"Yeah, they are. I never thought I would say this, Michael, but I like him. A lot."

"Really?" he asked, teasing her by sounding shocked.

"Yes, really," she said and giggled. "Why do I think you're not surprised to hear me say that?"

"Cause you don't look miserable, Jule. I'm sure you've already won him over. What do you think it's gonna take for him to completely win you over?"

"You think he's gonna be able to do that to me?"

"Yep, I do. Face it, Jule. You are not unhappy. If you didn't like your father or didn't want to be around him, it would show. Tell me what you guys have been doing."

"Talking mostly," she admitted. "I thought my father was a jerk," she continued, her voice growing quiet, "but he's not, Michael. He's really not. I had a distorted view of him, mostly because I didn't want to like him, and he's shown me different sides of his personality. He really cares about Mama. I still don't know why he never contacted her, but I'm trying to live in the present, the way Mama asked me to. He's here now, and that seems to be enough for my mother. It's beginning to be enough for me, too."

"Wow, Jule, I am impressed. I remember our previous conversations about our parents. We both had so much bitterness and resentment. I never thought you would give your father a fair chance. You never fail to amaze me, lady."

Julianna smiled shyly at his compliment.

"I didn't know I amaze you," she said.

"Are you kidding?" He almost shrieked. "You always amaze me, Jule. You know you're too damn smart for your own good. Tell me more about your father."

"Well, you said you never thought I would give him a chance, and to be honest, I never thought I would either. I didn't want to. I hated that he was here, that he just showed up and expected to be accepted into our lives, but I realized last night that wasn't what he expected at all. I could see he just wants to be a part of our lives, whatever part we allow him. My cousins are not too fond of him because of how he treated Mama, and I could tell he was uncomfortable around them last night because of how they feel about him. He wanted to make things easy for me. He graciously stepped aside and let them have their time with me. He didn't make demands. I'm really starting to admire him. I thought he was coasting through his life while Mama fought for everything she has, but I know now how wrong that thinking was. He's overcome a lot of personal battles."

"You know what, Jule?"

"What?"

"Forget my earlier question. I think he already *has* won you over."

"In some ways, yes," she acknowledged, "but Michael, I don't think of him as my father and I haven't addressed him as my father. I don't know if I can do that. That part doesn't feel right to me."

"But in every way that counts, Jule, isn't he doing what a father is supposed to do?"

*~*

After she finished talking with Michael, Julianna sat on her bed and wrote in her journal. Michael had given her a lot to think about.

He's so wise, she wrote. I love talking with him. He gives me such great advice and a different perspective. I can't believe he's only sixteen, but I guess you grow up fast when you witness murders and kidnappings and bombs exploding. Last year, we wished each other a Happy Birthday. This year, I would like to give him a present, but since we haven't exchanged addresses, I have no idea where to send his gift. But that doesn't mean I can't work on one.

She began to jot down a few lines of a poem that came to her mind. She thought maybe she could write a song for him that would show him just how much he meant to her and record it somehow. She stopped writing and let the images for the song form in her mind. Michael's smiling, compassionate face popped into her head.

I really like him, she wrote a few minutes later when she had gathered her thoughts for the song she wanted to write. I hope we can meet in person some day. I want to ask him about possible girlfriends, but I can't make myself. This was part of our agreement. What we didn't know about the other wouldn't cloud our friendship. But, for me, I think this is turning into more than a friendship.

I'm really starting to like him, she reiterated to her journal. I wonder if he spends any of his free time thinking about me?

*~*

After chatting with Julianna, Michael called his father, on a whim, and asked if they could meet.

"Sure. Do you want to come to my place or meet somewhere?"

"Your place is fine. I'll let Grandma know. I'll be there in a few."

When Dr. Tony Jones learned that his ex-wife Bobbie had been granted full custody of Michael, he found a house in the same neighborhood so he could be close to his son. He wanted them to be able to spend time together so they could get to know each other and bond.

Tony wasn't without sympathy for A.J.'s plight, but he felt he had come full circle since he originally thought, and Carly had led him to believe, that he was Michael's father.

When Michael arrived at Tony's house, a combination pizza was waiting for him.

"I knew you would order a pizza," he said and laughed. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome. You sounded like you had something on your mind. I thought reinforcements were in order."

"I do. You know me so well."

Tony wasn't sure that was true, but he appreciated every compliment Michael gave him.

They sat down on the sofa, and after eating three slices of pizza and chugging a can of soda, Michael was ready to talk.

"I have a friend, who's a girl, but she's not my girlfriend," Michael began.

Tony couldn't hide his smile.

"Dad!" Michael said and blushed. "Don't look at me like that!"

"Sorry. Go ahead. You have a friend who's a girl..."

"Yes, but she's not my girlfriend. We talk a lot and share ideas. We have a lot in common, and I think she's great. But we've never, you know..."

"Dated?" Tony guessed.

"Yeah. We have an unusual relationship, but it works for us. Or, at least, it used to work."

"But now it doesn't because you want to ask her out."

"Well, I don't really know how she feels about me, other than I know she's my friend. How do guys know, Dad? I mean, would there be signs? Could I be missing something? Or does she just not like me that way?"

"What about you?" his father asked. "Have you been giving her any signals? Do you think she knows how you feel about her? You need to make the first move, Michael. If you like this girl, you need to let her know."

"She's younger than me, but only by a year. To the day. We share the same birth date. But she's so smart and funny and kind. I love talking with her. We can spend hours together, and we never run out of things to say."

"She sounds very special."

"She is, Dad. Man, is she ever special."

"Then what are you waiting for? Ask her to go on a date."

"There are a couple of complications," Michael admitted.

He knew he was about to break one of his and Julianna's rules, but he really wanted his father's advice.

"Tell me what they are," Tony encouraged. "Maybe I can help."

"One of them is a rule between her and me, so if I tell you, Dad, you have to promise me you won't tell anybody. Not even Grandma. Please. Swear to me you will keep my confidence."

"Michael, you're scaring me."

"Please, Dad. Promise. It's nothing bad, I swear, but I need to know what I'm about to tell you will stay between us."

"As long as you promise you're not doing anything illegal, I'll keep your secret."

"It's not illegal, Dad. It's just that, well, we haven't actually met. We talk via the computer, the Web cam. We see each other, all the time, but when we first started chatting, we decided to keep things simple between us. I don't know her last name, where she lives, or any of her friends' and relatives' names. The same thing applies to her about me."

"In a way, I think you guys were wise to set the boundaries for chatting on the Internet, but now, it may come back to haunt you. You don't know anything about her. I think, if you really want to get to know her on another level, you're going to have to change your rules. What if she's halfway across the world?"

"I doubt she is because we chat all the time. I think she's in the same time zone as me."

"But what I'm saying is that you don't know that for sure."

"You're right. I don't."

"Would she be upset if you wanted to modify some things about your online relationship?"

"I don't know. I guess I can ask her. She's under a lot of stress right now so I think I better wait. The last thing I want to do is freak her out."

"I can tell you really like this girl, Michael. Your eyes lit up while you were talking about her. I hope this is something you can make work, son, but I think you better find out more about her."

Michael nodded. "There's one other thing. It doesn't bother me in the least, but I want to get your perspective. She told me, right up front, she's biracial. She's beautiful, Dad. Her skin is the color of caramel, and her eyes. Dad, her eyes hypnotize me. They are absolutely gorgeous. The fact that she's biracial shouldn't be a problem, right? If I like her and I find out she likes me, that's all that matters, right?"

"That's all that should matter, son, but we both know that's not always the case."

"Yeah, I guess so, but I don't care. I really want to give this a chance. I keep thinking what it would be like if we met in person. I want that chance, as long as she feels the same way. If she does and we hit it off, then I don't care what anybody thinks or says. I know she's a good person, and that's all that matters to me."

Chapter 19

When the foursome arrived at the hospital the next morning, they learned that Keesha had been moved to a regular room. Julianna visited first, followed by Dara and Justus, and then A.J.

"You're looking better and better," he marveled.

"I'm feeling much better. Now I just want to go home."

A.J. nodded in understanding.

"Justus mentioned about us talking to my doctor regarding my liver transplant. He said GH is doing them?"

"Yes. We never got to discuss it, but the contacts I met with told me GH has the capability, and when I talked to Nikolas Cassadine, he confirmed it. I didn't mention your name, but I explained the situation to him. He said GH could accommodate you."

"What does that mean for the hospital in Manhattan that Dr. Williams is associated with? This all seems so weird."

"The decision is yours, Keesha, but at least you would be in familiar surroundings, and it would give you another option. I think the hospital in Manhattan would still be a choice, too."

"That's what Justus said, too. He liked the idea of including GH since he and Dara live there, but I don't know..."

"Do you want to talk to your doctor about it?"

"I guess we should," she decided. "Wow, Port Charles. I never thought I would ever go back there, but if it's a viable option, I know I can't rule it out."

Dr. Williams' arrival ended their conversation. After he examined Keesha, she told him she and her family would like to talk to him about her liver transplant. He said he had some time right then, and he called the others into the room.

Justus explained about General Hospital being able to perform liver transplants and asked for the doctor's advice.

"It's imperative that we explore every avenue," he said. "Knowing that another hospital would be available to Keesha helps her chances. I have to admit that the hospital I am associated with in Manhattan has Keesha on a waiting list to be admitted for the transplant in addition to being on the list for a new liver. There just are not that many livers that become available."

"I believe," A.J. spoke up, "General Hospital would be able to accommodate her immediately if a liver became available and she was a match."

"That's good to know," Dr. Williams said. "I can tell you, however, that at this moment, Keesha is not strong enough to travel and certainly not strong enough to withstand the operation. Having said that, I don't mind calling General Hospital and talking to the one in charge. If we can work something out and the person is aware that Keesha is a candidate, I have no problem with her going to Port Charles if she is strong enough. What do you think, Keesha? Should I call General Hospital and let them know you would like to be considered as a candidate?"

All eyes turned to Keesha, who still was not comfortable with the idea of traveling to Port Charles. But, she reasoned, what choice did she have?

"Yes," she finally said. "I think I shouldn't pass up this opportunity."

"Very well. Give me the name and the number of who I need to talk to, and I will let that person know Keesha's decision. I'll let you know what I find out."

Once Dr. Williams had left the room, Dara approached her friend's bedside.

"I think you made the right decision, girlfriend. Manhattan is a crazy place. Who knows if you would even be admitted to the hospital if they told you they have a liver? I think GH will take good care of you."

"I hope you're right," she said, her doubts lingering. "I wanted this done privately, but I don't think that's possible in Port Charles."

*~*

When Dr. Williams checked on Keesha that afternoon, he told her he had talked to Dr. Ellen Burgess-Harmon, who said she would add Keesha's name to their list.

"I told her about your latest infection and the overall condition of your health," he continued. "She had a suggestion that I think you should consider."

"What did she say?"

"She said that, if you wanted, she would be agreeable to taking over as your primary physician through your transplant procedure. She suggested that once you were stronger and able to travel, it might be a good idea to move to Port Charles temporarily so that you would already be there if and when a liver became available. How do you feel about that?"

"Scared," Keesha said. "I know you, Doctor. You've been treating me since day one. While I'm sure Dr. Burgess-Harmon is excellent, I don't know her. I like my home, too. I really don't want to live in a hotel for who knows how long. What if a liver doesn't become available for months? I have to come back here. This is my home. This is where my daughter goes to school. We have no promises that I will ever have the operation, do we?"

"No, Keesha, I'm afraid we don't. But I think you need to look at this from a more positive angle. If one does become available from anywhere, you're there. The liver will be waiting for you. And as long as your health is stable, Dr. Burgess-Harmon can perform the surgery immediately. It can make a big difference."

"Do you think I should transfer my care to another physician?"

"Dr. Burgess-Harmon and I talked at length. She has a handle on your situation. Once you sign a release, I can send her your file. She would have access to the same information I've been working from. And I told her I'm available to consult."

"Going to Port Charles for surgery is one thing, but to move there, in the hopes that I will get a new liver, I don't know, Doctor. I just don't know how well I would do in that situation."

"Think about it," he advised. "You don't have to make a decision right this moment. Talk it over with your family. If you want to talk to Dr. Burgess-Harmon, she's available by phone. She also said she would be available for a video conference if you'd like to talk to her that way. You do have options, Keesha. I want to stress that as much as I can. This decision is yours. You need to do what will make you feel comfortable."

"I understand. Thank you, Dr. Williams. I appreciate everything you've done for me. I'll let you know what I decide."

"Sounds good. In the meantime, I can tell you that you're going to be released from here tomorrow."

"That's wonderful. Thank you."

"But you know the rules. You have to take it easy and get plenty of rest."

"I have been doing that, I promise I have."

"I believe you have, but I have to keep stressing it. If you're too weak, Keesha, no one is going to be able to perform surgery on you. And I definitely want you to have a transplant if that choice becomes available."

"Thank you. You know I want that, too."

He nodded. "Think about what I've said and talk to your family. I know they care about you and want only the best for you."

*~*

A week later, after much discussion with Dr. Williams, Dr. Burgess-Harmon, Julianna, Justus, Dara and A.J., Keesha made her decision. As soon as Dr. Williams gave her the okay, she and Julianna would be moving to Port Charles and staying with Dara and Justus until, hopefully soon, she would have the new liver she so desperately needed.

Chapter 20

"Tell me, honestly, Julianna, how you feel about this move to Port Charles," Keesha said to her daughter, a day after the decision had been made, as they chatted in Keesha's bedroom.

"Mama, I want to do what's best for you. If that means living in Port Charles for a while, I can do that. It'll be nice to be with Dara and Justus. Are you unhappy with your decision?"

"No, I just wish I felt better about it. There's so much we need to do."

"I've already started taking care of a few things," she said. "A.J. has been helping me."

"You know you're too efficient for your own good."

Julianna laughed, and Keesha couldn't help but smile. Then her expression turned serious.

"Let's just hope this will all have been worth it in the end."

*~*

That night, after her mother had gone to sleep and A.J. had left to go to the hotel, Julianna and Michael chatted.

"You disappeared again," he said, relieved when he'd seen her face. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I've been busy with my mother. I have some news for you."

"Tell me."

"I'm not sure when, but probably soon, we're going to be leaving here."

"What? Why? Where are you going?"

"Another doctor is taking over my mother's care, and we'll be moving to that town. I won't have access like I have here, but we can e-mail. I'll miss seeing you and talking with you, Michael."

"Julianna," he said, not willing to lose this precious connection in his life, "I know we said no names and places, but this is different. I'd like to know where you're going to be. I understand your mother's health comes first, but I'm really going to miss you. I don't want you to forget about me."

Julianna's sweet smile made Michael realize just how much he was going to miss seeing her lovely face and hearing her soft voice.

"I will never forget you, Michael," she assured him.

"Well, with moving to a new town, anything is possible. Jule, tell me where you're going. Please?"

"You're adorable when you beg," she teased. "It's a small town in upstate New York. I bet you've never heard of it."

"Try me. Believe it or not, I am familiar with upstate New York."

"Okay, how about this? Mama and I will soon be living in a town called Port Charles."

Michael almost fell off his chair.

"Port Charles?" he repeated, wanting to make sure he had heard correctly and was not hallucinating that she had said that name.

"Yes. See, I knew you wouldn't have heard of it. I guess I should look it up on the Internet to see what it has to offer."

"Um, Jule," he said, having recovered enough from the shock to speak, "you don't have to do that."

"Why? Oh, because it's probably too small to even be listed?"

"No, it's there, but you have an even better source than the Internet for this one."

"I do?"

"Yes," he said, taking a deep breath, "me."

"You? What do you mean, Michael? Are you an expert on small towns or something or just an expert at knowing things about Port Charles?"

"Considering I've lived in Port Charles all my life, you could say I am somewhat of an expert, yes."

Now it was Julianna who almost fell off her chair.

"Michael, you don't!"

"Julianna, I do!"

"But Michael...how...what...how is this possible?"

"Like they say, Jule, it's a small world."

"But...but...this changes everything!" she cried.

"What do you mean? Talk to me."

"I can't," she said, feeling herself growing numb. "This is too weird. If I had known...Michael, you probably know my family. You...you probably know my father!"

"Not if you don't want to tell me who they are. The same rules can apply."

But she was shaking her head. "I don't believe they can. Michael, this is...this is...so strange. I...I don't know what to say."

"Please say that you'll still be my friend."

She started thinking about what it would be like not to have Michael in her life, even as just an Internet pal, and she knew she couldn't do it. But at the same time, she wasn't ready to have all her secrets spilled to someone who more than likely knew her cousin, her mother's friends, her father, and possibly even her mother.

"I want to continue to be your friend, Michael."

She heard his sigh of relief.

"Thank you," he said.

She knew that he meant it.

"What should we do?" she asked. "How do we make this work?"

"I have an idea, Jule. Please think about it before you say 'yes' or 'no'."

"What's your idea?"

"Would it be so bad if, after you arrive in Port Charles, we make plans to meet?"

Chapter 21

Michael wants us to meet, Julianna wrote in her journal later that night when she couldn't sleep. I can't believe he lives in Port Charles. How strange is that? It wasn't until recently that I realized I do want to meet him in person, but in Port Charles? Diary, I have no idea what to do.

*~*

Julianna didn't have time to think about Michael or much else in the days that followed. She began to organize things for their move to the new town. A.J. had taken Keesha to her doctor's appointment. If Dr. Williams said she could travel, Dr. Burgess-Harmon was prepared to accept her as a patient.

Dara and Justus had returned to their home and told them their house was ready for their arrival.

The one thing Julianna wasn't certain about was where A.J. fit into their plans. She couldn't know that A.J. and Keesha were discussing that very issue.

*~*

"I plan to travel with you and Julianna to Port Charles," A.J. said to Keesha.

They had stopped at a nearby diner for a quick lunch after her appointment. Dr. Williams had given her the go ahead to travel.

"I appreciate that," Keesha said. "I know it's probably the last place you want to visit, too."

A.J. couldn't deny the truth but didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

"I'll make the best of it. I just hope a lot of the old ghosts have disappeared. How about you? Are you feeling more comfortable with your decision?"

"A little. I like the idea that we'll be with Dara and Justus. I think I'm more concerned about the hospital. People I know still work there, A.J. I don't want everybody to know my business."

"Dr. Burgess-Harmon has to guarantee you patient confidentiality, right?"

"Yes, but she can't do anything if someone sees me."

"But they don't have to know why you're there."

Keesha shook her head. "Either your memory is gone or you're just choosing not to remember. Rumors and gossip, A.J. What about those?"

"Yeah," he said, realizing Keesha had a valid point. "I guess I wasn't thinking."

She reached for his hand and held it in hers.

"The fact that I'm scared half out of my mind about the whole surgery thing isn't helping. I felt somewhat reassured with Dr. Williams. But now...it's like I found out about my condition all over again. I just wish it were over, one way or the other."

"Well, you know which way we are all rooting for, Keesha. You're going to have people who love you around you at all times."

"What about you, A.J.?" she asked, staring into his eyes. "Where will you be?"

"I...I'm not sure, Keesha. I know I can't stay in Port Charles indefinitely. It's not my home."

He saw something, maybe sadness, cloud her eyes. He quickly amended his statement.

"But if you need and want me to be there, I'm sure I can work something out."

"You've been putting your life on hold for me," she said. "I can't ask you to continue doing that when I have no guarantee of anything."

"I don't mind in the least," he assured her. "Keesha, I wasn't there for you for fifteen years. This is the least I can do."

"I just want you to know how much it means to me to have you here now. I am terrified, A.J., but when I look at you, somehow, things don't seem quite so scary."

"I want to make things as easy as possible for you and Julianna. I know that's what you need, Keesha, and it's what I want to do. For you and for our daughter."

*~*

Ten days later, with everything having been taken care of in Philadelphia, Keesha, Julianna, and A.J. arrived in Port Charles. Keesha felt as though she had gone back in time. Excitement and a bit of nervousness about the unknown and her mother's future consumed Julianna. A.J. hoped things would go smoothly and that a liver would be found for Keesha. Soon.

Dara and Justus welcomed all three into their home.

"This is lovely," Keesha said as Dara gave her and Julianna the grand tour of their two-story house in the middle of town.

Justus and A.J. remained in the living room.

"Keesha seems on edge," Justus said.

"She is. She knows this is probably it, Justus. How long can she stay here if no liver is found? Yet, she knows what her ultimate fate will be if one isn't."

"I would give anything for Keesha not to have to be going through this. Have you thought about the irony of this situation, A.J.?"

"You mean about Keesha being the one to need a new liver?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I have thought about it. I don't want her to be going through this any more than you do."

"I'm going to take her and Julianna to GH tomorrow."

"Okay."

"What about you? I can't imagine you want to spend too much time in this town."

"I don't," A.J. admitted, "but I will if Keesha and my daughter need me to."

"Are you at the PC Hotel?"

A.J. nodded.

"What about Skye and Tom?" he asked. "Can't you stay with them?"

"I can, but I don't want to. Keesha wants things low key. I haven't mentioned this to anyone. I know it's not going to stay a secret, but I want to make this as stress free for Keesha and Julianna as I can."

Justus nodded. "That's what Dara and I want, too."

The men stopped speaking when the women returned to the room.

"Do you like your rooms?" Justus asked Keesha and Julianna.

"Yes!" Julianna said. "Mine is very nice and decorated so pretty."

"Mine is great, too," Keesha assured them.

"We planned a light meal," Dara said. "A.J., you're welcome to join us."

"Thank you, Dara, but I think I'd better check in at the hotel. I have some things I need to do for work, too. Enjoy your meal and your evening," he said, his eyes darting from Keesha to his daughter.

"I'll call you tomorrow?" Keesha said.

"I look forward to it."

Dara and Justus started to walk him to the door when Julianna stopped them. She gave A.J. a big hug and thanked him for all he had done.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," he said, touched by the gratitude he saw in her eyes. "You have fun and take good care of your mother."

"I will."

A.J. waved to them and then sped off, heading in the direction of the hotel. As he took in the familiar sights, his insides began to churn. The closer he got to the hotel, the worse he felt. By the time he had pulled into the hotel parking garage, he couldn't help but feel he had made the biggest mistake by returning to the town that had never been kind to him.

Chapter 22

And so it begins, Keesha thought. Early the next morning, she and Julianna had no sooner stepped off the elevator onto the Second Floor at General Hospital than Bobbie saw them and did a triple take before rushing to greet them.

"Keesha! It's been way too many years. How are you?"

Keesha and Julianna had seen the concerned look on Bobbie's face at Keesha's appearance and her use of a walker when she'd first approached them.

"I'm okay," was all Keesha said and Bobbie didn't press.

"Is this your daughter?" Bobbie asked.

She smiled warmly at Julianna.

"Yes. Julianna, this is Bobbie."

"Nice to meet you," Julianna said.

"Same here. You are a lovely young lady."

"Thank you."

Keesha desired to move on but didn't want to be impolite. "How have you been? I...I heard about Carly and Sonny. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," Bobbie said, her eyes revealing the depth of her pain. "It's been a very difficult time. Having Michael with me is helping. Both of us, I think."

Julianna's interest piqued when she heard the name "Michael." Keesha glanced at her daughter and was surprised to see that she seemed to perk up at hearing Bobbie mention Michael. Keesha wondered if A.J. had talked to her. She didn't think he had because he hadn't said anything to her. And neither had Julianna.

"Julianna," Keesha explained, "Bobbie is Michael's grandmother. Her daughter Carly, Michael's mother, was killed, along with her husband, in a very tragic way."

Julianna nodded and offered her condolences. The story sounded way too familiar. The Michael she knew and Bobbie's grandson had to be the same person. She was sure of it.

"How is Lucas?" Keesha asked. "Lucas is Bobbie's son," Keesha explained to her daughter.

"He's fine," Bobbie said. "He's attending NYU, but he's here for the summer. He's mostly with his Dad, but we're spending time together. It's nice."

"How is Tony?"

"He's doing well," Bobbie answered, deciding not to venture into the subject of A.J. not being Michael's father. She assumed Keesha and A.J. weren't in contact, but the more she looked at Julianna, the more she couldn't help but wonder if A.J. were her father. She could see some resemblance, especially around the young girl's eyes. "You might run into him. He's around. Well, I should get back to work. It's wonderful to see you again. You take care. I enjoyed meeting you, Julianna. If you're going to be in town for a while, let's get together for lunch. I may even be able to persuade Michael to join us."

Julianna's heart lurched at Bobbie's suggestion. Would that be how her and Michael's paths would cross? She hadn't stopped thinking about his suggestion to meet since he'd mentioned it, but she had no idea how she actually wanted it to happen.

Keesha said she would be in touch, and then she and Julianna headed to Dr. Burgess-Harmon's office while Bobbie walked towards the nurses' station.

*~*

The knock on the door caused Nikolas to look up, in surprise, from the mounds of paperwork piled on his desk. He blinked twice to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"A.J.! Come in, come in."

"I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"You're not. It's been too long since we've seen each other. Have a seat. Can I get you anything?"

"No, thanks."

After they shook hands, A.J. sat down in a black leather swivel guest chair across from Nikolas' large and somewhat disheveled oak desk.

"How do you like being the hospital administrator?"

"There's so much paperwork as you can see," Nik lamented. "But, overall, it's satisfying. How about you? You must deal with a lot of paperwork, too."

"I do, but since I generate most of it..."

Nik laughed, and then his expression turned serious.

"Ellen talked to me."

A.J. nodded. "I figured she would have to. That's why I'm here. Keesha and I talked, and I told her I wanted to make certain things would be as stress free and smooth running for her as they can be."

"I was shocked and saddened when Ellen told me. How is Keesha doing?"

"She's hanging in there. Keesha is one amazing woman. I know she will be fine if a liver can be found for her. Soon."

"We're going to do everything we can for her," Nikolas assured A.J.

"I believe that you will. Thank you."

"Does it seem strange to be here?"

"Very," A.J. admitted. "Almost surreal."

Nik sat back in his black leather chair, looking thoughtful. "Planning any reunions while you're here?"

"I don't know," A.J. answered honestly.

"I can't imagine that your family wouldn't be thrilled to see you."

A.J. shrugged. "Maybe. I haven't let myself think about it. I live by the code of taking one day at a time. That's especially true in this situation. But speaking of family, how are Gia and the children?"

Nikolas' dark eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as he handed A.J. a framed portrait of his family that he proudly displayed on his desk.

"They're my sanity," he acknowledged.

A.J. studied the picture for a few moments. The daughter had Nikolas' strong features while the son looked more like Gia. "Your family is beautiful," he told Nik, with sincerity in his voice.

"Thank you."

"How old are Sonya and Nikolas, Jr.?"

Nik looked at A.J. in surprise. "You've been keeping in touch with someone."

"Emily tells me some of what's going on, just not about our family, unless I specifically ask. I know her and Zander's twins are close to your children."

"That's true. So are Liz and Lucky's children. To answer your question, Sonya is seven and Nikolas is nine."

"Very nice. You should be proud."

"I am. Gia and I both are."

As A.J. handed the silver frame back to Nikolas, he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever have a portrait of his family. The temptation to tell Nikolas about Julianna was strong, but A.J. decided against it. He didn't feel the time was right.

"How is Stefan?" he asked instead.

"He's fine. He took Alexis and Ned's daughter, Kristina, to visit Greece for a few weeks."

"Do you see much of them?" A.J. couldn't help but ask.

Nik nodded. "We're close, and I'm happy about that. Gia is pretty much running L&B Records. Brooke Lynn is helping her. Lesley Lu wants to get involved, too."

"Good for them," A.J. said sincerely. "I know Ned must be ecstatic to be running ELQ the way he wants to."

"He is," Nik confirmed, "but I believe he misses you."

"No way," A.J. said.

His chuckle didn't hold much mirth.

Nik shrugged. "People and situations change in eleven years."

"How true that is," he said, taking a moment to reflect on his own life.

"Maybe you'll be able to make peace with some things and some people while you're here."

"Maybe. But my main concern is taking care of Keesha."

"I understand. We're going to do everything we possibly can for her."

"That gives me hope, Nikolas. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Tell Keesha I plan to see her."

"I will."

"And I'd like to see you again. Perhaps in a social situation such as dinner at the house with Gia and the children?"

"I'll see how it goes."

"I understand."

*~*

Ellen put Keesha and Julianna at ease the minute they walked into her plush office.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, after she had done a preliminary examination.

"Today, I feel pretty good."

"Traveling to Port Charles wasn't too much for you?"

"No, it wasn't bad."

"Excellent. I am thoroughly familiar with your file, so I'm ready for any questions you may have."

"My main concern is staying healthy enough so I can have the operation if a liver becomes available."

"I understand that concern. I'm going to give you a prescription to help your immune system. I'd like to see you weekly so that I can closely monitor your vital signs and any symptoms you may have which might indicate there's an infection somewhere in your body."

Keesha nodded.

"Other than that, I think you should continue to do what you have been. Eat sensibly, get plenty of rest, don't do anything strenuous."

"My mother knows how to do all those things well."

Ellen's dimples emerged when she offered Julianna a gentle smile.

"And I know you help her."

"I try."

"I have a great support system," Keesha said. "My daughter is at the top of the list."

"That's great to hear," Ellen said. "It's what you need."

She wrote out the prescription and handed it to Keesha.

"You can have that filled here at the pharmacy and start taking the pills tomorrow."

"Okay. Thank you."

"I'd like to see you next week at the same time."

Julianna wrote down the appointment.

"We'll be here," Keesha said.

"If you think of anything you want to ask me, don't hesitate to call."

Ellen gave Keesha and Julianna her business card.

"Thank you," Keesha said as she and her daughter stood to leave.

"You're welcome. I'll let Dr. Williams know we had our first consult."

"Okay."

"Remember you can call me any time. I'll see you next week."

*~*

Since Dara and Justus needed to be at the courthouse, A.J. met Keesha and Julianna when they exited Ellen's office.

"How did it go?" he asked, his voice anxious.

"Very well," Keesha said, relieved the first meeting was over.

"You like your doctor?"

Both Keesha and Julianna nodded.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that."

"We need to stop at the pharmacy to get a prescription filled."

As the trio walked towards the elevator bank, Monica Quartermaine rounded the corner and caught a glimpse of someone she believed could be her son. Stunned that it might indeed be A.J., she tried to call out to him before he stepped into the elevator, but her voice failed her. Watching the doors close, she could only stare and wonder if that had actually been her estranged son. And if it had been, what was he doing at General Hospital with a woman and a young girl?

Chapter 23

Bobbie saw a dazed Monica leaning against the wall near the elevators. She approached her and asked if she was all right.

"Yes," Monica said, shaking her head as if to clear it. "I just saw the strangest thing."

"What?"

"I could have sworn I saw A.J. get into this elevator with a woman and a young girl. Alan's right. It must be time for a vacation."

"Weelll," Bobbie said, "I do have some news for you."

"What? You saw A.J., too?!"

"No, but I did see someone from the past earlier."

"Who?" Monica demanded, her nerves frazzled.

"Keesha. And she was with her lovely teen-age daughter."

"Keesha! That's who A.J. was with. Unless my eyes are playing tricks on me, but it makes sense now. What are they doing here? Are they together?"

Bobbie shook her head. "I wish I could tell you more, but Keesha wasn't very forthcoming, and I didn't want to push. A.J.'s name never came up, but I can tell you that Keesha did not look well. If you saw her daughter, Monica, I believe you would definitely see a resemblance to your son."

"Are you serious?" Monica asked, her eyes wide with curiosity and wonder.

"I am."

Monica looked once more to the elevator. She thought about chasing after them but realized how futile that would be.

"He's kept his distance this long," she told Bobbie. "I wonder if he plans to contact us at all?"

*~*

After A.J. dropped Keesha and Julianna off at Dara and Justus' house, he returned to his hotel room and after checking his e-mail, he telephoned Skye.

"Can you get away for lunch?" he asked.

"Sure. Where are you?"

"In my hotel room. I'll order room service. It'll be here by the time you arrive. What do you want?"

"Order me a Chef's salad and an iced tea. I'm on my way."

*~*

At his grandmother's house, Michael was pleasantly surprised when Lucas arrived for a visit.

"How's it goin'?" Michael asked, after handing Lucas a soda and popping open a can for himself.

They sat in Michael's room.

"Great. I heard from Dad that you went to him for advice about a girl?"

"Yeah."

"Talk to me."

"I feel kinda silly now. I'm not even sure she wants to meet me."

"Details, bro, I need details."

"You really wanna hear this?"

"Yes!"

"Okay. Well, after I went through all that crazy stuff when my mom died, I spent a lot of time online. I found this one Web site that catered to teen-agers who have only one parent. There was a quiz you could take to see how well you matched up with others. Several people were recommended to me based on my answers, but only one of them really clicked with me."

"This girl you now want to meet," Lucas guessed.

"Yeah. We became fast friends. It's been so incredible. She's going through a lot of heavy stuff now, but when we first started chatting, she was there for me. I want to be there for her, but I don't really know how to do it. We were fine when we were e-mailing and chatting with our Web cams, but I found out that she moved here because of her mother's illness. Is that wild or what?"

"Very wild. How come you don't know more about her if you guys are such good friends?"

"We wanted it that way. We were just going to be cyber pals, with no strings attached. But I've fallen for her, Lucas. I can't help it. She's funny, she's intelligent, she has a great heart, and she's beautiful. I really want to meet her."

"But she doesn't want to?"

"I'm not sure. She freaked out when I told her I live in Port Charles. We can't communicate by Web cam while she's here, but we said we'd e-mail."

"You haven't heard from her?"

Michael shook his head.

"Why don't you send her a note?" Lucas suggested. "Let her know you're thinking about her and her mom. Maybe mention a neutral place where the two of you can meet."

"Like where?"

"How about the restaurant near the PCU campus? I doubt you would run into people you know."

"Yeah," Michael said, his mood brightening. "Thanks, Lucas. That's a great idea."

"But if she turns you down or gives you the brush off," he warned, "I don't think you should push. Let her set the pace. Hopefully, she'll keep in touch with you, but if she doesn't..."

"I know," Michael said, feeling dejected again. "I think that's why I haven't written to her. If she doesn't respond, then I'll know for sure she's not interested."

"Or she could just be really busy settling into a new place. Don't write her off too quickly, okay?"

"I won't. I'll send her an e-mail tonight after I think about what I want to say. Thanks for helping me!"

Lucas smiled. "Any time."

*~*

"I wondered when I was going to hear from you," Skye said to A.J. after they shared an affectionate embrace.

"Things have been a little hectic," he said as he led her to the table where the food had been arranged.

"Are you finally going to tell me what's going on?" she asked, after taking a bite of her salad and a swallow of her beverage.

"Yes."

She waited intently for him to begin.

"Should I drop the bombshell on you or would you rather have all the particulars first?"

"Considering the way I just dropped into your life unannounced with a major chip on my shoulder, I think you owe me a bombshell. Go ahead. I can handle it."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I'm sure."

"A few weeks ago, I found out I have a fifteen-year-old daughter."

Skye almost choked on her iced tea. When A.J. tried to help her, she waved him off. After composing herself, she stared at him, a hundred questions swimming through her mind.

"You have a fifteen-year-old daughter whom you knew nothing about until a few weeks ago?!"

"That's right."

"Okay," she said, pushing away her meal. "Now I need, no, I *demand* the particulars."

"Keesha Ward, a woman I was involved with here in Port Charles, left town in 1998 to care for her ailing father. She found out she was pregnant..."

"With your child," Skye said, wanting to make sure she was following every detail.

"Yes, with my daughter. Julianna."

"And you just happened to find this out, how?"

"Keesha wrote and asked me to come to Philadelphia. She said she had something very important to tell me."

"And this something very important was the news that you have a daughter?!"

"Yes."

"You mean to tell me you had no contact with this woman for fifteen years?"

"No, I didn't."

"And she never thought to contact you?"

"She did contact me or at least she tried to, but she knew I had started drinking again. She also knew about my subsequent marriages to Carly and Courtney."

"Incredible. Absolutely incredible. Why did she decide to contact you now?"

"Because she is very sick, and she wanted my daughter and me to meet while she was still alive."

"She's dying?" Skye asked, her voice low and serious.

A.J. nodded. Some things began to make sense to Skye.

"The liver transplant information," she said. "Keesha needs a new liver."

"Yes, she does."

"And now you've brought her here to GH?"

"Their program is very good."

"What about your daughter, A.J.? I can't believe I just spoke that sentence. What kind of a relationship have you been able to form with her?"

"A very tenuous one at best," he admitted.

"Does she acknowledge you at all?"

"As someone who is trying to help her mother, yes. As her father, no."

"Give her time, A.J. I can relate to how hard it is to come into your father's life or have him come into yours so unexpectedly."

"I plan to give her all the time she needs. I just don't know if there will ever be enough time. Sometimes, I think she's ready to accept me into her life, and then other times, I tell myself it's never going to happen. She resents me, Skye, because of the fact I never contacted Keesha after she left town. Julianna has a very valid reason for not wanting me in her life, and I have to respect that."

"Why didn't you ever call Keesha? You must have cared for her."

"I did," A.J. asserted. "I still do. Keesha was one of the best things that ever happened to me."

"So you just let her walk away and never looked back?"

"Yeah," A.J. said, his voice filled with sadness and regret. "That's exactly what I did."

"Why? Why would you do that? Tell me, A.J. I want to know. I need to know."

"Because I wanted to drink. Drinking meant more to me at that time than anything."

"Not Michael."

"Don't you see the irony in this situation, Skye? I couldn't have Michael so I drank because of the rotten deal I thought life had given me. If I had just thought beyond the bottle, for once, beyond my own selfish needs, beyond my stupid plans for revenge, I might have been a part of Keesha's life and our daughter's life way before now. But I never stopped to think. I never took the time to think about the one woman who had stood by me and supported me the way no one else had. I just wanted to be miserable and wallow in self-pity, and I was and I did."

"Have you explained any of this to Julianna?"

"Some. She came to me with questions, and I gladly answered them. That's when I thought we were growing closer, but I still see the doubt and the uncertainty in her eyes. I believe she wants to trust me and on some level wants to accept me, but she's wary, and I don't blame her."

"It sounds like you just need to keep the lines of communication open. Something will happen that will make her see you as her father. I'd love to meet her, A.J. I still can't believe you have a daughter. After all you went through with Carly and Sonny, I'm thrilled you have a child of your own. I'd love to meet Keesha, too."

"Thanks. I'm not sure I deserve to have a child, but Keesha has done an amazing job of raising her. If the time is ever right, I would love for you to meet her and Keesha."

*~*

For the remainder of the afternoon, Michael thought about the e-mail he would write to Julianna, so when he went online that evening, he was surprised to see that Julianna had sent him one. She apologized for not writing sooner and told him what had been happening since they'd arrived in Port Charles. Her last sentence filled him with hope. She wrote that she wanted to meet him and since he was the resident, asked him to choose the time and the place.

Chapter 24

When Dara returned home from work, she found Keesha sitting on the patio, sipping lemonade while enjoying the early evening breeze.

"Where are Justus and Julianna?" Dara asked, after taking a seat and pouring herself a tall, cool glass of the refreshing beverage.

"Justus had to run a few errands, and Julianna went with him. They mentioned stopping at the grocery store. Julianna wanted to buy a few things so she could cook dinner."

"That child does not have to cook for us," Dara said. "I'll call Justus and tell him to pick something up from the Grille."

Dara returned a few minutes later and said that dinner was taken care of.

"Julianna loves to cook," Keesha reminded her best friend with a smile.

"I know, but I want her to relax as much as she can. I know this has not been easy on her."

"No, it hasn't," Keesha said and sighed. "She's been such a wonderful daughter. Sometimes, I can't believe how lucky I am."

"Luck has nothing to do with this," Dara declared. "Julianna is an exceptional girl because you raised her that way. Justus and I know how hard being a single parent has been for you, especially now, but you never wavered in your commitment and your love for your daughter. Julianna knows how much you love her, and that love and your strength are getting her through this."

"You and Justus being there for us has helped tremendously," Keesha said. "Especially since I know how much heartache you two have had to endure."

Dara took a moment to reflect on Keesha's words before she spoke. "I will admit that third miscarriage almost did me in. Almost did in our marriage. I was so depressed and so sick after it happened. I wasn't sure I would ever recover or feel normal again, whatever that is."

"I remember Justus calling to give me the sad news. I couldn't believe it. He was sooo worried about you, Dara, and he was grieving as well. I wish I could've done more."

"You were there for us, Keesha. You always have been. I've been wanting to tell you some news, but the time hasn't seemed right."

"I hope this is good news."

"It is," Dara said, her voice growing in excitement. "Justus and I have decided to adopt."

"Dara, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you and my cousin. I wondered if that would be an option, but I knew you had to heal, physically and emotionally, from the miscarriages."

"You're right. I did have to heal. I told Justus I couldn't let myself get pregnant again. He totally understood. So a couple of weeks ago, we went to an adoption agency. We'll probably go to a few more. We also know an attorney who handles private adoptions, but we're not sure yet how we want to accomplish our goal. We just know we want to give a child, or maybe two, a good home."

Even in her weakened state, Keesha beamed. "I can't think of two people who deserve to be parents more than you and Justus. You don't know how happy this news makes me. My heart is filled with joy and love just thinking about the two of you becoming parents."

"We were honored and overwhelmed when you said you wanted Julianna to be with us. That's really when we start talking seriously about adoption. If I could have a daughter just like Julianna, I would be in heaven."

"You're so sweet," Keesha said.

"And I'm serious," Dara said, arching one eyebrow. "Has A.J. realized just how wonderful his daughter is, thanks to her mother's tireless work?"

"He does," Keesha said. "He loves her, Dara. He told me that, and I can also see it. I'm just wondering what it's going to take for Julianna to realize that she has a father who loves her and wants to be in her life."

*~*

Monica and Alan were eating a late dinner when she decided to broach the subject of A.J. and Keesha.

"You'll never guess who Bobbie talked to at the hospital today."

"Who?" Alan asked, mildly interested.

Being semi-retired, he didn't follow hospital gossip.

"Keesha."

"Really?" he said, showing some interest. "Is she living here?"

"Bobbie didn't know. Keesha didn't offer much in the way of explaining why she was at the hospital."

"That sounds like the Keesha I remember."

"Bobbie did meet her daughter, though."

"How wonderful that Keesha married and has a child. How old is her daughter?"

"Bobbie didn't say specifically, but she's a teen-ager. No mention of a husband, though."

"Doesn't mean she's not married."

"That's true. I believe I saw Keesha, too."

"You didn't get to talk to her?"

"No. She was walking away from me. But Alan, it was the strangest thing."

"What was?"

"I could have sworn I saw her walking with A.J.!"

"A.J., our son, A.J.?" Alan asked, his voice disbelieving.

"Yes!"

"And you didn't say anything, Monica?"

"I couldn't. I was so shocked, when I went to speak, no words would come out of my mouth."

Alan leaned in closer to his wife. "Do you really believe A.J. is here, in Port Charles, with Keesha and her daughter?"

Monica nodded emphatically. "I truly do."

"I wish there was some way we could confirm this news. I know Skye won't tell us anything."

"Neither will Justus nor Dara."

"I wish Bobbie or Tony had seen him."

"Me, too."

"We could hire someone to check it out for us."

"No, Alan. I want A.J. to contact us on his own. If he finds out we've been prying into his business, it's just going to make things worse. Don't you think, at some point, if he really is here, he'll *want* to see us?"

*~*

After the others had gone to bed for the night, Julianna used the computer in the den to check her e-mail. With excitement and a small amount of fear coursing through her, she opened the e-mail from Michael and quickly scanned it. She laughed at his humor and hit the "reply" button.

"You are so funny," she typed. "I miss seeing you. Meeting at the 'Chow Time' cafe sounds good. Thanks for the directions. Thanks for your cell phone number, too. Michael, I'm excited, nervous, anxious and a little scared to actually meet you. I hope you understand. If I can't make it, I'll call you on your cell phone. If you don't hear from me, that means I plan to be at the cafe near the university at 1:00 p.m. tomorrow. Goodnight."

And then she wrote a postscript.

"Just in case you need to call me, here is my cell phone number."

She typed in the number, read the e-mail one more time, and then hit "send," with the strongest feeling that nothing would be the same once she met her cyber pal, Michael.

Chapter 25

"Wow, I'm popular today," Emily said when she heard A.J.'s voice in her ear.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"Do you really wanna know?"

"Yes. You sound excited. What's going on?"

"I heard you've been spotted in Port Charles. Is it true you're here?"

"Who told you that?" A.J. asked, thinking and hoping Skye wouldn't have said anything.

"Mom," Emily responded, knowing her answer would shock A.J.

She wasn't disappointed.

"I haven't seen Mom!" he retorted. "I haven't contacted her at all."

"I know, and she's very upset about that. Mom is almost one hundred percent sure she saw you at the hospital yesterday, possibly with Keesha and a teen-aged girl, but Mom is looking for confirmation. Are you here, A.J.? I know Keesha is because Bobbie spoke to her."

That stunned A.J., too. Keesha hadn't mentioned talking to Bobbie. The feeling that he was beginning to lose control over a very guarded situation unsettled him.

"Please, Em, I don't want you to say anything to anyone."

"So you are here," she surmised. "A.J., what's going on?"

"I really don't want to talk about it. Especially over the phone."

"Can I at least tell Zander?"

"If he promises not to tell anyone."

"He won't. Are we going to see you while you're here? And Keesha? Are you *with* Keesha? If you are, you have a lot of explaining to do."

"I am, but it's not what you think. That's why I'm calling, Em. I wanted to let you know I'm not at the Manhattan office. Vincent is handling the day-to-day operation for me."

"Okay. That's good to know. I've received several e-mails from him."

"I'm reachable, though, by e-mail and cell phone."

"That's good to know, too. A.J., I hope everything is all right. Can you at least assure me of that?"

"Things are as well as they can be. I want to see you, Em, I really do. I'd love to see Zander and the twins, too, but I have some things I need to take care of that are demanding my attention."

"I understand," Emily said. "Please, A.J. Don't leave town without at least visiting me. I know we talk a lot, but it's not the same. I'd like to see you. If I can help, I want to. Okay?"

"Okay. I appreciate that."

"What about Mom? She and Dad are not going to rest until they know for sure it was you she saw."

"I'm thinking about it," was all A.J. would commit to. "I just don't know if I'm ready, or ever will be ready, to see them."

*~*

Julianna hated lying to her mother, but she wasn't ready to tell her about Michael, especially after her conversation with Bobbie at the hospital. She was afraid Keesha wouldn't let her meet Michael, and this was something she wanted to do while she still had the courage. So that her reason for leaving Dara and Keesha alone wouldn't be a total lie, Julianna stopped by the mall Justus had shown her the previous day and looked around before following Michael's directions to get to the cafe near the university.

By the time she arrived, giant butterflies had taken up residence in the pit of her stomach. She felt flushed and out of breath. The summer heat wasn't helping. She wanted to find shade, but she also wanted to stay close to the restaurant. If Michael didn't show up soon...

She never got to complete that thought. Michael had arrived. She watched as he quickly made his way to her. She saw him pause as he drew nearer, and then she smiled as he sprinted to close the distance between them. With each step he took, Julianna’s heart beat faster. Even though she knew what he looked like, she didn't realize how tall he would be or that he would be so much better looking in person. His auburn hair needed to be combed, but she actually liked the disheveled look on him. His faded blue jeans and white t-shirt outlined his very fit physique. She found herself moving in his direction to help close the gap.

When they finally stood face to face, neither one spoke. Julianna because she wanted to take in every detail of his appearance, and Michael because he was awestruck. He knew how lovely Julianna was, but to actually be standing in front of her amazed him. He wanted to pinch himself to make sure this was real. She looked regal, like a princess. He saw her beautiful gold-flecked hazel eyes assessing him, and he wondered what she was thinking. He wanted to reach out and brush a stray dark curl from her cheek, but he knew he couldn’t. He saw her looking at him expectantly, her eyes trying to read what he was thinking. When Michael still didn’t speak, she broke the ice by offering him a shy smile and saying "hello."

"Hi," he finally said, finding his voice. "I'm sorry I've just been staring, but you look incredible. The scent you're wearing is incredible, too."

Julianna beamed at his compliments. After changing clothes three times, she had finally decided to wear black jeans and a short-sleeve turquoise top. She accessorized her outfit with a turquoise necklace, bracelet and earrings. After applying eye shadow and blush to her smooth, flawless skin, she added berry lip color, and at the last second, decided to dab a bit of her mother's favorite, and most expensive, perfume on her pulse points.

"Thank you," she said. "I'm guilty of staring at you, too. I feel like I know you so well, and yet, at the same time, you seem like a stranger to me."

"I kinda feel that way, too," Michael admitted.

His boyish grin disarmed her, and she found herself very attracted to his charm.

"Shall we head inside the cafe?" he asked.

"You know what. I honestly don't think I could eat a thing. Would you mind if we didn't go to the restaurant?"

He grinned again, and she found herself relaxing. A little.

"I guess it wouldn’t hurt me to miss one meal."

She laughed, and the melodious sound thrilled Michael.

"C'mon," he said, encouraged by her smile. "How 'bout if we head to park and just sit and talk? If you get hungry, food vendors are everywhere."

"I'd like that," she said. "Thanks for understanding."

"No problem."

They strolled leisurely towards the park. Halfway there, Michael reached for Julianna's hand. She nodded and allowed him to entwine his warm fingers with hers. His touch sent tingles of excitement and pleasure coursing through her.

"You seem a lot more reserved in person than you do online," Michael commented.

"Remember how I would hardly talk when we first met online? I’m sorta shy. I have to get to know a person before I open up. I liked that you were so gregarious and upfront about things. You were the one who kept our connection alive in the early days."

"Is that what I was?" Michael asked and laughed. "I thought I was a pest. I didn't think you wanted to talk to me, but I really wanted to talk to you. I didn't want you to disappear on me."

"I was too captivated by you not to continue talking to you online. I'd never met anyone with such refreshing honesty. I enjoyed your sense of humor, too. I was amazed you could find a reason to laugh at all when you finally confided in me about your home life. I still don't know how you survived, Michael."

They had reached the park. Michael found a spot where they would have some shade and privacy. They sat on the dark green grass and faced each other.

"I don't know how I survived either," he admitted. "I'm just thankful those days are behind me. So tell me how you like living in Port Charles. Don’t I live in *the* most exciting town?"

Michael rolled his expressive brown eyes; Julianna grinned and shook her head. "You make me laugh. I’m not sure what kind of a town you live in, but it’s been rather exciting since I’ve been here. Michael, I believe I met your grandmother yesterday."

"You did? How? Where?"

"At the hospital. I went with my mother. She had an appointment with her new doctor. Your grandmother, Bobbie is her first name?"

Michael nodded.

"She recognized my mother. We were introduced. They talked for a little bit."

"How incredible. What did my grandmother say? What did your mother say?"

"Not too much, but my mom did offer her condolences about your mom and her husband. I think your grandmother appreciated my mom acknowledging your mom’s death. I wonder if they knew each other? I didn’t think to ask my mom."

Michael lowered his head and ran his fingers through the dry grass. "My mom didn’t have many friends," he admitted. "If your mom and my mom had known each other, chances are, they weren’t friends."

Julianna reached out to still Michael’s hands.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad."

He watched her tapered brown fingers touching his light-colored skin and felt the gentleness and generosity of her spirit. He hoped that if they got to know each other better, he wouldn’t do something to scare her away.

He looked at her and gave her assurance. "You didn’t. The images are always with me, Jule. Once your life has been shattered the way mine was, it’s hard, sometimes, to have any kind of hope. I’d hate for the same thing to happen to you. Tell me how your mom is doing."

"My mom is okay. She seems to be adjusting well to being back in Port Charles."

"Now that you know who my grandmother is, would you care to tell me your mom’s name?"

"Sure. My mom’s name is Keesha Ward."

"So, you’re Julianna Ward?"

"Yes. Julianna Mae Ward. The middle name is for my maternal grandmother."

"I’ve heard the name Keesha," Michael said, "but I don’t know who she is."

Julianna nodded. "You haven’t told me your last name."

Michael gave her a crooked grin. "I bet you wouldn’t have believed me if I had told you this online."

"What?"

"Would you believe Michael Jones?"

He shook his head; Julianna laughed.

"You’re right. I would have thought that was definitely a made-up name."

"How ordinary, huh?" Michael said. "But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my share of last names because I have."

"Because of your mom’s deception?" Julianna asked, her voice quiet.

"Yeah, and the fact that she was married to Sonny Corinthos."

"So at one time you were Michael Corinthos? Sounds way more exciting than Jones," she admitted.

"And my life was way more exciting then, too, not to mention dangerous."

"How could so many things happen to you at the same time?"

"It’s because my mom lived a lie," Michael said. "It still hurts to talk about it, Jule, but we’ve always had intense conversations, right?"

She nodded. That statement was very true.

"Well, I was always destined to be a ‘Jones,’ I guess, but somewhere in the middle of my mother’s pregnancy, so I’ve been told, she decided to name someone else as my father. For the first year or so of my life, I was known as Michael Morgan."

"Morgan?" Julianna questioned. Hadn’t she heard that name? "I think I know that name."

"I’m not surprised. Jason Morgan was very well known in this town. I'm sure your mother knew him."

Julianna’s eyes widened in shock. "Your mother named Jason Morgan as your father?!"

The same Jason who used to be a Quartermaine who was involved with her mother at one point and was her father's half brother? Was it even possible? But didn't he change his name to Morgan? Why couldn't she remember the details?

"Yes."

"Why? Why would she want someone else to be your father? And why Jason Morgan?"

Michael snickered. "My mother liked things to be complicated. The more complicated, the better."

"Why did she give up on that charade?"

Michael shrugged. "I’ve heard various things, but the one that makes the most sense to me, as I consider my mother’s point of view and not my own, please understand, is that she panicked. My mother was very good at coming up with schemes and plans, but her follow through, well, let’s just say it didn’t always work."

"So she had a plan for your life?"

"Yes. But the plan wasn’t just for my life. That would’ve been too easy. My understanding is that my mom had a plan for my life and her life and Jason’s life. The problem was her scheme involved destroying someone’s else life to make this all possible. And to make my real father a non-factor."

"You’re kidding?! Michael, I hope that plan failed, too."

"In some ways it did," he said, his voice filled with repulsion as the memories of what he’d been told his mother had tried to do flooded his mind, "but I’m sorry to say, in some ways, my mother’s plan succeeded. Way too well."

"Your mother was actually able to ruin someone’s else life? How is that possible?"

"When someone was in my mother’s way of what she wanted, she could make your life miserable. I witnessed that, unfortunately."

"How could your mother do that to somebody? How could your mother do that to you, Michael?"

"I don’t understand it either, Jule, but it happened. For more than half my life, I was led to believe that a bad man, a *very* bad man by the name of A.J. Quartermaine was my father. And now, Jule, even though he’s not my father, he’s someone I’ve really come to like and respect. My mom would be having a fit if she knew how things had turned out after her death. Life is funny that way, don’t you think?"

Chapter 26

Julianna did not hear anything else Michael said once he spoke the name "A.J. Quartermaine." Michael finally caught on to the fact that Julianna's mind was miles away.

"Jule? Jule, what's wrong?"

"That name," she finally said, her eyes still glazed. "Repeat that name."

"What name?"

"The one you said you thought was your father. Michael, say his name again!"

"A.J.?" he asked, confused. "Is that who you mean?"

Julianna nodded. "A.J. Quartermaine. That's what you said. Right?"

"Yes, that's what I said. Why is his name so important to you? Do you know him? Does your mother?"

Julianna laughed, but it was one of hysteria, not humor.

"Do I know him?!" she practically shrieked. "Michael, you may have thought A.J. was your father for a good portion of your life, but guess what? He *is* my father!"

Stunned by her declaration, Michael could only stare at his friend as she tried to make sense out of something that made absolutely no sense at all.

"How? How is that possible?"

Julianna looked at him with disdain.

"Okay, I know *how*," he amended, "but I mean, Jule, this...this is major. This is...this is..."

"Too weird and crazy for words," she finished for him.

"Yeah," Michael agreed sadly. "I guess it is."

"Please, Michael," Julianna pleaded, not knowing what else to do, "you're my friend, right?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then you have to tell me everything. I need to know what happened in this town, between my father and your mother, almost seventeen years ago. Please. Tell me."

"I only know bits and pieces."

"Tell me what you know. Please!"

"Let me ask you a question first."

"Okay."

"You said you were getting to know your father in Philadelphia, right?"

"Yes."

"And that he's here with you now, correct?"

She nodded.

"Then I think you should go to him, Jule, and find out the true story. Every detail. I don't want to say the wrong thing and mislead you. I would rather you hear the whole story from the one who knows everything that went down."

"I can't," she said, shaking her head defiantly.

"Why not?" he asked, but his tone was gentle.

"I don't trust him enough," she said, looking at Michael with tears in her eyes. "I trust you, Michael. I know you'll tell me the truth as you know it."

Michael reached for her hands and squeezed them. "But I don't know everything that happened, Jule. Your father does."

"I'm scared," she said, looking at their joined hands.

"Of what?" he asked, wishing he could hold her.

"Of my father. Of our relationship. Of what this all means. I knew he hurt my mother. I knew it! I was right not to trust him in the beginning. I was right to try to keep him out of our lives. How could he be with my mother and your mother at the same time? My mother must have believed he could have been your father. That's probably one of the reasons why Mama left this town and why it was so easy for my father to dismiss her!"

"This is exactly why you need to talk to your father. You don't know if any of that is true, Jule. Please. Talk to A.J. Why would he lie to you? You're his daughter."

"As if that means anything," she scoffed, knowing she was probably being unreasonable but not caring at that moment. "I wish he'd stayed out of our lives!"

"I don't think you mean that," Michael challenged.

"Yes, I do!"

"Jule, you were beginning to like your father. You can't tell me you weren't."

"I was, and every time I let him get a little close to me, I end up regretting it. Not this time," she said, pulling her hands away from Michael. Ready for battle, she stood up and brushed the grass off of her jeans. "I will go to him, Michael, and I will tell him exactly what I think of him!"

With determined steps, she marched towards the nearest park exit. Michael dashed to catch up with her. He knew anger and adrenaline fueled her steps.

"Julianna, wait," he said, standing in front of her.

"Get out of my way, Michael. You're right. I need to settle this with my father once and for all."

"I know you’re going to do this," Michael said, seeing the tenacity in her eyes. "Please let me go with you."

"You like him, Michael. Right now, I don’t. You may not like what I’m going to say to him, and I won’t like it if you try to defend him."

"It’s not my place to defend him. I want to be there for you, Jule. My big mouth is what started this. Wouldn’t you like to have a friend with you?"

"Is that what you’ll be?" she asked, her tone wary and uncertain.

"Yes. Absolutely. Jule, I hate that I’ve done this to you."

But she was shaking her head. "You didn’t do anything. My father did. I’m off to his hotel room. I want to know everything that happened. If you come with me, you’re doing it at your own risk."

"It’s a risk I’m willing to take."

*~*

The harsh raps on his door startled A.J. who was on the phone.

"Skye, I have to go. Someone's at my door."

A.J. ended the call and walked to the door. Peering through the peephole to see who had knocked, he was surprised to see Julianna. Someone was with her, but he couldn't see enough to determine who it might be. When he opened the door and saw who was waiting on the other side, his face turned as white as the walls of his hotel room.

"We need to talk," Julianna said, striding purposefully into his room.

Michael followed.

A.J. closed the door and his eyes. He asked himself when he was ever going to learn to listen to Keesha. He turned around, hoping he had been dreaming that Julianna and Michael had just walked into his room, but he knew it was real. They were both looking at him, their expressions far too serious for their young ages.

"I know you have questions about seeing us together," Julianna began, "but I need to have my say first."

A.J. agreed.

"I know some things about your relationship with Michael," she began, her voice shaking. "I want you to tell me everything."

"That could take a while," A.J. said, his insides churning. "Why don't we sit down?"

Julianna sat on the divan; Michael sat next to her. A.J. pulled up a chair and sat close to his daughter.

"Tell me about your relationship with Michael's deceased mother."

A.J. had to give his daughter credit. She had the ability to get to the heart of the matter, much the same way her mother did.

"Carly, Michael's deceased mother, and I started out as friends and lovers and ended up bitter enemies."

"Were you with her and my mother at the same time?" demanded Julianna.

"No, Julianna, I wasn't. Your mother and I were not together. I had been drinking heavily the night I thought I might have fathered Michael."

"But you and Carly were together?"

"No, not really. I hate having to tell you all this, Julianna."

"I want to hear it. I don't care how sordid it is. I want the truth."

"Carly was with Michael's father. They'd had a fight. She came to the bar looking for Jason and found me instead."

"That's disgusting!" Julianna cried.

"I know, but that's how it happened. Carly ended up pregnant. She told me Tony was the father, and I had no reason to doubt her until she started playing games with me."

"What kinds of games?"

"After that night, I went back on the wagon. I'd had a blackout. I didn't remember what had happened, and it scared me. I was really trying to get my act together. Your mother was helping me."

"How could my mother have ever been involved with someone like you?!"

She jumped up from the sofa and walked to the bay window. She looked out, unseeing, at the clear blue sky. Thoughts of her mother and A.J. and Carly repulsed her. Her mother was a better person than that. Why had she wanted to be with him?

"I've asked myself that same question many times," A.J. said, standing a few feet behind her. "Keesha was, and I hope still is, my friend. She's the best, Julianna. You don't think I know she deserved someone much, much better than me."

"Why did you get involved with her again?" she asked, keeping her back to her father. "I would've thought you would have been busy with Michael's mother."

"I wanted to be a father to my child, if it turned out I was indeed Michael's father, but Carly and I were adversaries at that point. After that drunken night, I made the statement that if I fell off the wagon one more time, I would go into rehab somewhere far away from Port Charles. When Carly thought I could be the father of her baby, she drugged me, Julianna, left me in an alley for my family to find me, and made me believe I had started drinking again. I was on my way to a rehab clinic when your mother began helping me sort out the details about that night. She helped me, Julianna. She was the one who put the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out Carly's scheme. I hadn't taken a drink. My family was ready to write me off, again. I tried to tell them that my sobriety was still intact, but the damage had already been done. My mother believed me, but I was still viewed as a drunken loser. Your mother was the only true ally I had, Julianna."

"And we know how well you treat your friends," Julianna said snidely, still keeping her back to A.J.

"I know how bad this sounds, but I was fighting for my rights as a possible father to Michael, and Keesha was helping me. We were friends, Julianna, and friendship turned to love."

She whirled around to face her father. "For about all of five minutes! Was it really because my grandfather was sick that Mama left town or was it because of you?!"

"We were together when your mother left here, Julianna. She said she needed to return to Philadelphia because her father was ill. She didn't plan to be away long."

"What did you do as soon as my mother was gone? Hook up with Michael's mom again? Or were you already on to someone new?"

"No, I wasn't with anyone, Julianna. I was trying to get my life together. I was learning to live with the fact that Jason was Michael's father. Yes, I did some horrible things that your mother knew about. She didn't like that I was so obsessed with Michael, but Keesha was still my friend. She got me through some of my darkest days. I'll never forget that, Julianna. I loved your mother. I wish you could believe at least that much."

"Why? Because the evidence of your love is so overwhelming?!"

"Our love produced you," A.J. said quietly.

Julianna turned away from her father. Michael saw that her shoulders were shaking, and he believed she was quietly sobbing. He had remained silent, as he'd promised her he would, but when he thought she might be crying, he moved to place his hands on her shoulders and gently massaged them.

"It's me," he whispered. "It's okay, Jule. It's okay."

"None of this makes much sense," A.J. said. "I know that, Julianna. For the next several years, things did not get better. They got progressively worse. I had to make a decision. I had to get away from this town. If I hadn't, I don't believe I would be standing here today, talking to you."

"Why did you continue to drink?" she asked, even though she didn't really want to know the answer to that question.

"Because I was miserable," A.J. admitted. "I lived down to everyone's expectations of me. I know now that their opinions shouldn't have mattered, but back then, Julianna, I placed way too much emphasis on what my family thought of me. And I continued to fight for Michael because Carly told me I was his father. I believed her. I wanted to *be* Michael's father. I would have tried to be in your life, too, Julianna, if I had known of your existence."

"You would have never gotten me," she said, her tone icy. "I would have never chosen you over my mother! Never!"

"I wouldn't have asked you to," A.J. said. "But I would have wanted to be in your life."

"You wouldn't have even cared that I existed," she accused, turning to face her father once more. "You were too wrapped up worrying about Michael and getting revenge. You think my mother would have let me anywhere near you while you were drinking?! My mother would have never done that!"

"I know that. We talked about that. But, Julianna, I swear to you I haven't had a drink in eleven years. I hit rock bottom, and I knew I had to make changes in my life. I was on the path to total destruction. I would've died. I know that."

"You let Carly and your family bring you to that point?"

"Yes, I did. I'm not proud of any of this, Julianna, but it's the truth. I led a very self-destructive life. I couldn't run the family business the way my grandfather wanted me to. I couldn't be a part of Michael's life because his mother married a mobster who made sure my life was a living hell. I wanted revenge so badly I could taste it. I married Sonny's sister, mostly out of spite, and when I went too far with that plan, I lost her to Jason. I thought I was losing my mind, Julianna, and I decided there had to be something better out there. Somewhere. Anywhere. Just not in this town.

"I found the help I needed, and I started making decisions for myself. My failures were my failures, but my successes were my successes, too. I saw many things through a different perspective, a different mind set. I had peace within myself for the very first time. I wish I could describe this to you so you would understand my transition, but I'm not sure I can. All I can tell you, Julianna, is I did some really horrible things, and I had some very horrible and humiliating things done to me. I survived, and I'm here today, ready and willing to have whatever part of your life you want to give me. Am I asking for too much?"

When Julianna didn't answer, A.J. continued. He had to find a way to reach her. He just had to.

"Your mother told me to tell you about Michael. I still don't listen very well. Keesha was right about this, and she's been right about so many things. I didn't tell you because I didn't know how to. I really want you to see me as the person I am today. I'm not blotting out my mistakes or trying to minimize them, but I have made changes in my life. Real changes, Julianna. Changes that, I hope, have made me a better person and that will make me a better father to you. Should I even try any more or have you already written me off as someone who you will never allow to be your father?"

"I don't know," Julianna said, her voice and body trembling. "How many more bombshells are going to be dropped on me?"

"None, I hope. The secrets are out. Yes, there's more I could tell you about what I did and what was done to me, but what I've told you, Julianna, are the lowlights of a very bad time in my life. I'm not that person any more, at least I haven't been in a long time. I struggle every day not to take a drink, but I take care of myself and I do what I know I need to do to get me through each day, one day at a time. It's worked for me, and my goal is for my program to continue to work for me. Will you ever be able to give me a chance?"

"I was giving you a chance," Julianna said, "and then I find out about you and Michael's mom!"

"I should have told you, Julianna. That was my mistake, and I apologize for not telling you. But I had no way of knowing you and Michael knew each other."

"I realize that. I thought you were going to faint when you opened up the door and saw us standing there."

"I almost did."

"A.J., I know none of us is perfect, but I love my mother so much that I can't bear the thought of all that she must have gone through in the names of friendship and love. I can't understand why you would put someone you say you loved through all that turmoil."

"I did it because I was a self-centered jerk. I was. I can admit that now because I've been through enough counseling to know what to call my behavior. I excelled at "Jerk 101," along with "Downtrodden 101," but I had some great people who got me started on a different, and much better, path."

A.J. breathed an inward sigh of relief when he saw his daughter crack a smile.

"You like those terms I used to describe myself, I can tell."

Julianna shook her head. "I don't know what to think anymore," she admitted.

Michael had ceased massaging her shoulders and stood next to her.

"Before today, I think you were willing to give me a chance," A.J. said.

"I was."

She glanced at Michael who was looking at her with hope on his face.

"And I guess I still am," she said grudgingly. "But only because of my mother."

"I understand."

"Can I talk to Julianna alone for a minute?" Michael asked.

A.J. looked to his daughter who nodded.

"I'll be in the bedroom. Knock on the door when you're through."

Michael waited until he'd heard the click of the door closing, and then he turned to look at Julianna.

"I know I said I wouldn't defend the guy, but Julianna, I have to tell you that there was a lot more he could've said in his own defense. I believe he's really trying to be the father he thinks you want him to be."

"How can he do that when *I* don't even know what kind of a father I want him to be?"

"That's just it. He's playing it very safe because he's not sure, at all, where he stands with you."

"Good. I want him to be guessing about that."

"Why, Julianna? What has he done to you since coming into your life except not be upfront about his past?"

"Isn't that enough?"

"No," Michael said, shaking his head. "I don't think it is. I believe he would've told you everything. Eventually. I think he needs some encouragement, Julianna. And he needs to receive it from you."

"Encouragement for what?" she asked, puzzled.

"Encouragement that you and he will have some kind of a relationship at some point in your life."

"I'm not ready to give him that kind of encouragement," she said, digging in her heels.

"I know you're not, and I'm not saying it has to be today. But you know what would be nice?"

"What?"

"If you gave him a hug when we leave here."

"I've hugged him before," she said, uncomfortable with Michael's suggestion.

"Then it should be easy to do it again," he said and grinned.

In spite of her mood, she found herself smiling.

"C'mon," he cajoled. "You know you wanna. Let's leave here on a somewhat positive note. Okay?"

"Is that what we're doing? Leaving?"

"Unless you want to go a few more rounds."

"No," she said, "I don't. Not today."

"Can I tell him to come out?"

"Sure," she said, lifting her shoulders in a shrug. "Why not."

"Your enthusiasm overwhelms me."

"Go get A.J."

"Yes, Ma'am."

When A.J. returned to the main room of his suite, he waited expectantly for Julianna to speak.

"Michael and I are going to leave," she said.

"Okay. I still would like to know how the two of you know each other."

"We'll tell you," Michael said. "Another time."

"I'm going to talk to my mother, too," Julianna said. "Mama doesn't know that Michael and I are friends."

"Your mother doesn't know you were coming here today?"

"No. I had no intention of coming here until I found out about your relationship with Michael. I wanted Michael to tell me everything, but he said I needed to hear it from you. He was right. I did need to hear this in your words. I'm not cold-hearted, A.J. I saw the pain in your eyes. I can tell that you've suffered, but it also sounds like you made some of the people around you suffer, too. Especially my mother. That's what I can't get past. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"I keep telling myself that when you voice these concerns, they're valid, and I respect them. You know, when I was born, my father didn't believe I was his son. Consequently, there was always something off about our relationship. I knew I had disappointed him many times. When I was trying my best to stay sober, he told me it didn't matter to him. That basically I didn't matter to him. It was just the way he felt. He said his love for Jason came more naturally to him than any love he may have felt for me. That's one of the main reasons I fought so hard for Michael, and why I tried to make things easy for him when he was born. Because I didn't want him to ever doubt that his father loved him. I don't want you to doubt it either, Julianna. I know these words are coming almost sixteen years too late, but I'm speaking from my heart. I love you, Julianna, as your father. I always will. I've never had any reservations that I could love you and care for you from the moment I found out you were my daughter. I wouldn't wish my father's words on anyone. I fought to be somebody in my own family, to be accepted for who I was, flaws and all, but it was never meant to be. I just want you to know that you will always have a place in my life. I will never shut you out, and I will try my best to always be there for you. I mean that, Julianna. I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

Before A.J. had finished speaking, his daughter was in his arms. He held her and stroked the back of her hair as she clung to him, his heartfelt words still running through her mind.

"You're my daughter," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "and nothing is ever going to change that. Please, Julianna. Someway, someday, please find it in your heart to let me be your father."

Chapter 27

"I'm not ready to go home," Julianna said to Michael once they had left A.J.'s hotel room.

"Are you hungry?"

"No. My stomach is upset, and I have a headache. Can we go somewhere so I can get something to drink? I'd like to take some aspirin."

"There's a store down the street."

After Julianna took her aspirin, she and Michael resumed walking.

"I should call my mom," she said, pulling her cell phone from her purse.

Dara answered and told her Keesha was sleeping. Julianna told her she would be home soon.

"Do you want to head for the house?" Michael asked.

"I guess we should. I have to face my mother some time and tell her about my talk with A.J. If she's awake, would you like to meet her?"

"I'd love to."

"I bet you know who were staying with."

"Let me guess. Are you with Justus and Dara?"

Julianna nodded.

"When you said your last name was 'Ward,' I had a feeling. I don't know them that well, but, man, can Dara sing."

"You've heard her?"

"Yeah. There's a place called 'The Outback' that's really neat. I guess I shouldn't hang out there because I'm underage, but I don't drink. My cousins are there some times. Their parents own the place. It's fun. Maybe you'd like to go some time?" he ventured.

"I don't know."

Michael heard the lack of enthusiasm in her voice and didn't press.

"Is your headache easing up?"

"Not really. Michael, I have to know. How did you accept all those different fathers into your life? I don't get it."

He knew her mind was still on her conversation with A.J. He wanted to help her if he could.

"I didn't have much choice. My mother chose my fathers for me. I didn't really know any different until I would hear my mother and Sonny arguing, sometimes, about Jason and A.J. Jason was always a presence in my life. He's the one I was the closest to. I never got to see A.J., so I didn't think about him, and I didn't even know my real dad existed until the accident."

"Sonny thought A.J. was your father?"

"He did. I don't think my mother ever told him about my dad. Remember when your father said there was more he could have told you about his life back then?"

Julianna nodded.

"I can fill you in on some things if you want me to."

"Do I really want to hear more?" she asked and sighed.

"It's up to you, Jule."

"Go ahead," she said, sounding drained. "You might as well tell me."

"Well, according to what my grandmother told me, by the time Sonny entered the picture, my mom and I were living with A.J. at the Quartermaine mansion. He and my mom had married."

"I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but your mom did some strange things, Michael. Why would she marry the man she knew wasn't your father? It certainly didn't seem as though she ever loved A.J. Didn't my father say they ended up bitter enemies?"

"Yeah, he said that because they were. I'm not really sure why my mother married your father, but I know nothing good came out of it. The reason Sonny remained in our lives is because my mom was pregnant with his child. I've heard that she tried to pass off the baby as your father's. But when that failed, Sonny basically took control of my mother's life. That's when we left A.J. and moved in with Sonny."

"And you were how old then?" Julianna asked, her head pounding.

She wondered how much more she could stand to hear.

"I was about 2-1/2 years old."

"And you were already on to your third father?!"

"Yeah. I know it's crazy, Jule, but I didn't really know what was going on. The one person I knew the best was Jason. He was always around."

"I don't get why your mother didn't just marry him."

Michael chuckled. "My grandmother said the same thing. I think it had more to do with Jason, but whatever. It doesn't really matter now."

"No, I suppose it doesn't. Was my father still living here when your mother died?"

Michael shook his head. "He was already living in Manhattan."

"Then how did you and he become friends?"

"A few weeks after the funeral, when things had started to somewhat calm down, my dad told me he had talked to A.J. He suggested we go visit him."

"Were you with your dad?"

"No. I was with my grandmother and my brother."

"We really haven't told each other a lot about ourselves, have we? I didn't know you have a brother."

They found themselves strolling through the park.

"We're taking the long way to your house. Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

"Until I knew who my real father was, I didn't know I had a brother either."

"So this wasn't your mother's child?"

"No. My mom lost that baby."

He chose not to tell her that it was due to an altercation with a drunken A.J. on the staircase at the Quartermaine mansion.

"So your dad has another son?"

"Yes. This is going to get even weirder, Jule, but my dad and my grandmother were once married."

"I don't even want to know the details about that."

"Well, they adopted Lucas. They lost a daughter before I was born. Her name was B.J. My cousin Maxie has her heart."

"Now that's tragic," Julianna said, "but I can relate to that. I mean, in order for my mother to get a new liver, I know it means someone else will have to die. I hate that thought, but if my mother doesn't get a new liver then she will die. That's so sad, Michael. I feel bad for your grandmother. She's lost two children. I feel bad for your father, too, but some of this other stuff is just too out there for me. I don't know what I would have done if my mother hadn't kept things structured for me."

"That's what my dad and my grandmother tried to do for me, but my grandmother was grieving. I'm ashamed to say this, but I took advantage of that fact. Big time. I'm surprised she didn't kick me out of her house."

"Your grandmother loves you, Michael. She knew you were hurting, too. Did she go with you and your dad when to went to visit A.J. in Manhattan?"

"No. Jason wanted to go, but my dad said 'no way.' At the time, I was very upset, and I told him if Jason didn't go, then I didn't want to go. My dad was strict, but he was right. Jason didn't need to be there. Plus, he was a marked man, and my father wanted to make sure I was as far away from him as I could be."

A sobering thought suddenly occurred to Julianna.

"Are you safe, Michael? Is it okay for you to be walking around like this?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Those guys got who they wanted, for the most part. The fact that Jason hasn't been seen around here in a few years has cooled their interest in this town."

"What happened?"

"It was all mob- and territory-related. I don't know the particulars, and I told my dad and my grandmother that I don't want to know. I have enough images in my mind without adding more."

"What happened when you went to Manhattan?"

"I can tell you that A.J. was devastated when my dad told him what had taken place in the hospital with my mom's deathbed confession. But my dad was prepared. He was able to answer all of A.J.'s questions, and he produced every bit of evidence A.J. asked for. In the end, your father had to accept the truth. That doesn't mean it was easy for him because I know it wasn't. He offered for us to stay with him for a few days. Unfortunately, he sometimes witnessed me at my worst. I didn't really want to be with my dad, Jule. I wanted Jason. He was the one I felt the most comfortable with. I know now how much that must have upset your father. I was also having terrifying nightmares. I still have them," he added quietly.

"I would be shocked if you didn't," Julianna said, empathy present in her voice.

"A.J. tried to talk to me, to counsel me, but I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I didn't want to hear what anyone had to say. Not then. The pain and my grief were too fresh. I really didn't know what was going to happen to me. When my dad and I got back to Port Charles, they made me go to counseling. I hated it. I just wanted to be left alone. I refused to talk. The summer after I turned fourteen, my dad called A.J. and told him about my drug and behavioral habits. He asked A.J. to help me. I agreed to go to Manhattan because I thought it would be cool to see what damage I could do there with no parental control. A.J. wouldn't let me. I lived with him, Jule, and he placed me in one of the newer programs he had just started for teen-agers who were grieving and who were on drugs and/or drinking. He called it 'The Michael' program."

"How can you smile when you say that?" Julianna asked, her tone serious.

"Sometimes you just have to laugh. I knew I was a mess; A.J. knew I was a mess, but that summer I lived with him changed my life. He spent a lot of time with me, whether I wanted him to or not. He didn't care. He was just there for me. I knew I was getting special treatment, but you know what? I loved it. He was tough on me, and so were my counselors, but he and I had a lot of fun, too. He took me places, he showed me all around Manhattan, we went to baseball games, he listened to me when I really needed to talk. He knew I hadn't completely kicked the drug habit, but he told me, in no uncertain terms, what would happen to me if he found drugs in his penthouse. You talked about structure. That's what your father gave me. Before the end of that summer, I had come to respect him. Grudgingly, but I really did respect and like him. As a person. When I was getting ready to return here, he told me it was up to me. I had to be the one to say I didn't need the drugs anymore. The only thing he made me promise was that I would continue to go to therapy and attend NA meetings. I told him I would, and I did, Jule. By the time my fifteen birthday arrived, I was happy to say I was drug free. Your father called me that day, and we had a great talk. He always calls me on my birthday. I'll never forget that summer I spent with him, Jule. He helped me so much."

"When you talk about my father like that, I ask myself why I'm so reluctant to give him a chance. But then when I think about the other stuff he's done..."

"I know it's hard, but sometimes, you just gotta let the bad things go, or at least not dwell on them so much."

"I guess," she said, but Michael could tell he had not been able to convince her.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked as they reached Dara and Justus' house.

"Not really."

"If you'd rather I didn't go inside, I understand."

"Maybe another time would be better."

"No problem. Will you call me or send me an e-mail?"

"Yeah. I'll be in touch."

"If I don't hear from you, I'm going to have to be a pest again."

Julianna offered him a weak smile. "You've never been a pest," she assured him. "You're my friend, Michael. And I'm very glad you are."

Chapter 28

Julianna woke up late the next morning. Dara and Justus had already left for work when she entered the kitchen to cook breakfast for Keesha and herself. When she carried the tray into her mother's bedroom, Keesha asked her if she was feeling better.

"Yes," she said but her voice belied her answer.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened?"

Julianna nodded as she sat on her mother's bed and spread strawberry jam on a piece of wheat toast.

"I didn't tell you everything I had planned yesterday," she began. "Mama, I've been chatting with someone online who I found out lives in this town. His name is Michael."

"Michael?" Keesha repeated, her dark eyes scrutinizing her daughter's face.

Of course, there was more than one Michael in any town, even Port Charles. However...

"Yes. And it's the Michael you're probably thinking it might be. Mama, I know pretty much everything, I think."

Keesha let her fork clatter onto the plate.

"Who told you everything?"

Her tone demanded an immediate answer.

"A.J. and Michael. Mama, I had no idea until Michael and I met and started talking. I never knew any of his history when we chatted online. I freaked out when he told me. I wanted him to tell me the story because I'm sorry, but I trust him more than A.J., but he said I needed to go to my father. So we did. Michael and I confronted A.J. in his hotel room yesterday."

Keesha let her head fall back against the pillows as she closed her eyes and tried to absorb her daughter's words.

"I'm dazed at your revelation. You and Michael showing up unexpectedly at A.J.'s hotel room must have almost given him a heart attack. Your father must have been astounded," she whispered.

"He did almost faint at the sight of us," Julianna admitted.

Keesha took a moment to try to put herself in A.J.'s position. She inwardly cringed as she thought about what he might have endured.

"I hope you let him talk once he recovered from the shock," she said, when she finally opened her eyes. "And I also hope you gave him the courtesy of listening very carefully."

"I did. I wanted to know the truth. But I...I couldn't stomach a lot of what I was hearing. Mama, I have to ask you. Why did you ever get involved with A.J.? Why would you want to be with someone like him? I don't understand."

Their food almost untouched and forgotten, mother and daughter stared at each other for a long moment before Keesha attempted to answer Julianna's questions.

"I need to establish something here," she told her daughter. "Whatever you may think of your father, he is not a monster. When we were much younger, we had a lot of good times together. We were friends. The drinking and how much it ended up costing A.J. bothered me. I'm not going to lie about that. But there is so much more to your father than the fact he is a recovering alcoholic. We loved each other once upon a time. Circumstances intervened, and we both made choices, but I don't regret the time I spent with him. I need you to understand that. There is a lot of good in your father, Julianna. A lot of good."

"Were you and Michael's mother friends?"

"No," Keesha answered without hesitation. "When Carly first came to town, I thought maybe we could be friends, but I quickly changed my mind. I'm sorry she's dead, but I'm not going to canonize her. She was a very unhappy woman who caused a lot of trouble for a lot of people. She made your father's life hell. I hope he told you that."

"I sorta knew that was the case. Did A.J. love Carly?"

"He had feelings for her. He probably did love her. But she didn't love him. She wanted him out of her life. Permanently."

"A.J. said you helped him figure out Carly's schemes."

"I did and, Julianna, I would've kept on helping A.J. if I had stayed in Port Charles. Carly viciously taunted him about Michael. She used that poor baby as a pawn in her lies and her schemes. I had absolutely no reason to doubt him when he said if Michael was his son, he wanted to be a father to him. I was ready to help him gain custody of Michael. I felt that strongly about how Carly had used and abused your father. He tried to be a friend to her. She treated him horribly. I was on his side one hundred percent, and I don't regret anything I did during that time. His persistence when it came to Michael made me struggle that much more with the decision I had made not to tell him about you. Julianna, the last sixteen years have not been easy ones for me. But watching you grow up is what has made my life worthwhile."

"Mama, you made the right choice. A.J. ended up marrying Carly!"

Keesha closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she spoke patiently. "I know he did. And it ended in disaster. Not for Carly, but for your father. He lost Michael, who he thought was his son. I admit that knowing he had married Carly and that he had Michael with him made my decision easier. I believed I'd made the right choice based on what I knew, but I also realized A.J. had a right to know about you."

"He told me about his own situation when he was born. He said he didn't want Michael to suffer the way he has throughout his life. He said he wouldn't have wanted me to suffer either."

"A.J. has not had an easy life, Julianna. Can you at least acknowledge that much?"

"But he hurt you. That's what I can't forgive. I'm sorry, but I can't. You didn't deserve to be so callously tossed aside once you left Port Charles. A.J. should have thought about you, Mama!"

Keesha reached for her daughter's hand and clasped their fingers together. "Julianna, I need to tell you something. A.J. did not hurt me. Jason was the one who broke my heart, baby girl, not your father."

Julianna's hazel eyes clouded with confusion.

"I don't understand."

"I'm trying to tell you, sweetheart. A.J. and I were friends. Yes, there was an attraction there, more so on his part than mine in the early days, but the one I fell hard for was Jason. We were together, and we were in love. We were young, but we knew what we were doing. He was my first lover, Julianna. I wanted to spend my life with him."

"But then he got into the accident with A.J."

"That's right. He had no memory of me. I could've lived with that, but he took it too far. He dismissed me as if I meant absolutely nothing to him. I realize he didn't know who I was, but he didn't have to be so cruel. He never tried to find out who I was, the very important part I played in his life, what we had meant to each other. He woke up a different man, and he broke my heart. He wasted no time getting involved with a friend of mine, Robin Scorpio. I could've lived with that, too, if I'd had some closure, but Jason never gave me that. Your father was the one who was there for me, Julianna. He helped me just as much as I helped him. I came to love him, but I was also very protective of my heart. A.J. knew that and respected my needs. When he stopped drinking, we reconnected on a very deep level. We were older, we'd both been through a lot, and we were ready for some happiness and love.

"I'll give you an example. One day I'll never forget was my birthday in 1998. I'd had a horrible day. I'd had arguments with people at the hospital, I'd had a heated run-in with Jason about some things that were going on that I didn't approve of. By the time I finally left work, all I wanted to do was climb under my covers and forget it was my birthday. I lived in a room above a popular diner named 'Kelly's,' and I couldn't figure out why it had closed so early in the evening. When I walked in, Julianna, I saw what your father had done for me. He had rented the entire restaurant for just the two of us. So we could celebrate my birthday. Together. By ourselves. With no outside interference. Beautiful decorations hung everywhere, music was playing, and when he stepped into the dining area from the kitchen, my heart soared. I couldn't stop smiling. He amazed me. I had no idea he was going to acknowledge my birthday in any way. And then to make it so special. He knew how to please me, Julianna. We talked, we laughed, we toasted. He even poured me a glass of champagne with no problem, and then he poured himself a non-alcoholic beverage. We ate, we danced, and we kissed. He was trying, really trying, to put a lot of bad things behind him. He said he was ready to make a fresh start. With me. He wanted us to try again. I wanted it, Julianna. I wanted it so much. I was so ready to be with him. I'd been wanting to be with him, but I wasn't going to compete with Carly because, frankly, she was not worth it. Her name never came up. We just talked about us and our future. It was one of the most beautiful and special birthdays I'd ever had. I fell in love with your father that night, Julianna. I wanted to be with him. Only him."

"Thinking about that night is making you happy. I can tell. Mama, are you still in love with A.J.?"

Keesha considered her words before she answered.

"I care about him a lot," she said. "So much time has passed, and we haven't been together. But when I started reading about how wonderfully he was doing, I wanted to see him, Julianna. I wanted to tell him, in person, that the A.J. I've been reading about is the one I always believed he could be."

"You had more faith in him than he had in himself, didn't you?"

"I guess I did. I'm very happy for him, Julianna. I still need to see my fondest wish come true, however. Someday, baby girl, I want *you* to be happy and proud that A.J. Quartermaine, Jr., is your father. Am I getting any closer to having that wish come true?"

*~*

Bobbie didn't have to be at the hospital until early afternoon, allowing her and Michael to spend some quality time together.

"You were busy yesterday," she said to her grandson as they ate waffles at the kitchen table. "I didn't see you at all."

"I know. Sorry 'bout that."

"Were you with your father or Lucas?"

"No. Grandma, I have something to tell you."

Bobbie prayed it wouldn't be something bad.

"Go ahead," she said, her voice wary.

"I know that you met Keesha and Julianna Ward at the hospital the other day."

Surprise registered on Bobbie's face.

"How would you know something like that?" she asked. "And how do you even know who they are?"

"Grandma, I've been talking with Julianna online for over a year. But I never knew who she was, and she didn't know who I was. We finally met yesterday."

"That's amazing," Bobbie said. "How could you not know who she was?"

"We decided to keep things simple between us," Michael explained, "so we didn't talk about our families. It just seemed like an easy thing to do."

"I was going to invite you to join us for lunch if Keesha called me. I told her I'd like to see them again. I thought about you when I met Julianna. She seems like a lovely girl. Is she?"

"Oh, yeah, Grandma, she is. She definitely is."

"Wow. You and Keesha Ward's daughter are friends. I didn't even know she had a daughter until I saw her at the hospital. Are they living here?"

"They're staying with Justus and Dara, but it's just temporary. Grandma, if I tell you a couple of really important things, will you promise me that you won't say anything to anyone. Not even Dad or Lucas. And especially not Jerry Jacks. Please?"

"Of course. I *can* keep a secret, Michael."

"I know. I just want to make sure that I don't blow this for Julianna and Keesha. Grandma, Keesha is here in Port Charles because she needs a liver transplant. They're hoping she'll be able to have one at GH."

"How awful," Bobbie said, concerned. "Keesha didn't look that well when I saw her, but she didn't say anything, so I didn't ask any questions. She and Julianna must be going out of their minds with worry."

"They are worried, but Grandma, for the most part, Julianna has it together. I haven't met Keesha, but I know she's got to be a great lady."

"She is. Is Keesha married? I've been thinking about that since I saw her."

"No, she isn't. That's the other secret I wanted to share with you. Julianna and I shocked each other yesterday when we started talking. Grandma, Julianna's father is A.J. Quartermaine."

Bobbie sank back in her chair. "You know, I had a feeling that was a strong possibility. Oh my. Is he here, Michael? Is A.J. in Port Charles?"

Michael nodded. "We saw him yesterday. Julianna has so many questions and fears. I really feel bad for her."

"You two must have shocked that poor man into next week!"

"We did. I was the one who opened my big mouth and mentioned his name. Julianna demanded answers from me, but I thought she should get them from her father."

"Julianna knows about your mother?" Bobbie asked, her voice low.

"Yes, Grandma, she does. But A.J. was cool. He didn't diss Mama that much at all. He wants to be in Julianna's life."

"She doesn't want that?"

"Not in the same way A.J. does."

"I wonder what Keesha thinks of all this."

"Julianna was going to talk to her. When we left A.J.'s hotel room, she asked me if I would like to meet her mom. I said I would, but when we reached the house, Julianna was out of it. So, I told her I would meet Keesha some other time. I hope I hear from her soon."

"You really like this girl, don't you?"

Michael gave her his boyish grin. "I do, Grandma. I like her a lot."

"Was A.J. happy to see you after the shock wore off?"

Michael smiled. "Yeah, he was. We didn't talk when Julianna was there because I told her I wouldn't defend A.J., even though I had to bite my tongue several times while they were talking. But after I left Julianna, I went back to see him. He wanted to know how we met, so I told him."

"You know what this means, don't you?"

"Well, I think a lot of stuff is going on, but what are you referring to?"

"Monica and Alan. Michael, they have a granddaughter. Do you think they'll ever get to meet her?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Do you realize how incredible this all is?"

"Yeah, I do. I could hardly sleep last night. I'm sure Julianna was the same way."

At that moment, their conversation was interrupted by the ringing of Michael's cell phone. He hoped it was Julianna, and it was.

"Hey," he said, moving away from his grandmother so he could have a little privacy. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she said. "I told Mama everything this morning."

"I was just telling my grandmother about it. I told her she had to keep the news to herself. She promised me she would."

"Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm sure my mother and A.J. appreciate it, too."

"How did your mom take the news?"

"Pretty well. She explained her feelings to me. My mother really cares about A.J., and I know you do, too, Michael. Maybe I just need to spend more time with him."

"That sounds like a good idea. Are you going to see him today?"

"Maybe later. I haven't talked to him. Michael, I'd like to see you. Can we get together?"

"Sure. You tell me when."

"Can you believe I haven't really eaten anything since yesterday morning. I tried to eat breakfast today, but once my mom and I started talking, the food was pretty much forgotten."

"I know a fun place we could go to for lunch. Would you like me to come get you? Maybe I could meet your mom."

"I'll have to ask her if it's okay to leave her alone for a while, but yeah, Michael, why don't you come by? I would like you to meet my mom. She remembers when you were baby. I know she'd like to see you again."

"Great. I'll be there in a couple of hours."

"Sounds good."

"Jule?"

"Yeah?"

"Call A.J. Okay? I know hearing from you would make his day."

Chapter 29

Julianna was still thinking about Michael's suggestion when A.J. arrived unexpectedly at the house. She ushered him into the living room.

"I'll tell Mama you're here."

"I hope it's okay that I didn’t call first. I wanted to see how you and Keesha were doing."

"It's fine. Do you want coffee?"

"No, thanks."

Julianna left the room to help her mother get ready to visit with A.J. As soon as A.J. saw Keesha, he rose from his chair and assisted her into the most comfortable chair in the room.

"You look good," he told her.

Keesha gave him a warm smile. "Thanks. I've been feeling better. I think the medication Dr. Burgess-Harmon gave me is helping."

He returned her smile. "Excellent. Have you heard anything from her?"

"No. I have another appointment next week."

"You didn't tell me you talked to Bobbie," he gently chided.

"I know. I wasn't sure if I should tell you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. My mother *thinks* she saw us at the hospital."

"Who told you that?" Keesha asked.

"Emily. I called to tell her I wasn't in Manhattan. She told me that my mom asked if I was here."

"Are you going to visit your family?"

"I don't know. Emily asked me the same question."

"Who is Emily?" Julianna asked.

"Emily is my younger sister," A.J. explained. "My parents adopted her when her mother died from breast cancer. My mom, your grandmother, battled breast cancer, too, and she became friends with Emily's mom."

Julianna nodded.

"A.J.," Keesha said, "could Julianna meet Emily? I think it would be nice for her to know some of her relatives."

A.J. looked at his daughter. "Do you want to meet my family, Julianna? If you say 'yes,' then I will get in touch with them."

"You would do that for me?" she asked, truly touched.

"Yes, I would. The only one who knows about you is one of my best friends, Skye. I would love for both of you to meet her and her husband, Tom. We're all recovering alcoholics, and we have a lot in common. Skye and Tom have pretty much taken over managing the Port Charles office. I trust both of them implicitly. Emily knows about you, Keesha, because Bobbie told my mom she talked with you. They know you have a teen-age daughter, but they don't know I'm the father. Julianna, if you want to meet my family, I'd like the part about my being your father to remain a secret. For now. Until they’ve had a chance to meet you."

"I understand."

"Julianna, honey," Keesha asked, "what do you think?"

"I don't know," she said. "You haven't had a relationship with your family in a long time, A.J."

"No, I haven't, but that doesn't mean you automatically get shut out of their lives or that they get shut out of yours. If you're curious about them, then I think you should meet."

"Do I have to decide right now?"

"No, of course not," Keesha said.

"Okay. Then I'd like to think about it. I'll let you know, A.J."

"That's fine."

"We should tell you that Michael will be here soon," Keesha said. "I heard about your surprise visitors yesterday. I'm amazed you didn't pass out from shock."

"I'm amazed I didn't faint, too. I thought I was dreaming when the two of them walked into my suite. We had a very intense and emotional conversation. I don't know if Julianna told you the details, but that's one of the reasons I stopped by. I wanted to make sure she was okay."

"I'm better," Julianna said. "I'm still trying to understand all that you told me, but at least my head isn't pounding anymore."

The doorbell chime interrupted their conversation.

"That's probably Michael," Julianna said. "I'll be right back."

When she opened the door and saw Michael's friendly face, she breathed an audible sigh of relief.

"I'm so glad you're here. Come in. A.J. is visiting with us."

"You called him!" Michael said, pleased.

"No. He showed up before I could. He wanted to see how Mama and I were doing. They're in the living room. It's this way. Mama can't wait to see you."

They crossed the carpeted hallway and entered the living room. Michael said "hi" to A.J. and then he let Julianna introduce him to her mother. Michael saw her frailty, but he also saw her beauty and her strength.

"Mama, this is Michael."

"It's been such a long time," Keesha said, shaking her head in wonder. "You weren't even talking the last time I saw you."

"And now I never shut up," Michael said and laughed.

Taking in his appearance, Keesha’s face lit up and tears sprang to her eyes.

"Michael, you look wonderful!"

"Thank you. I've heard a lot about you, Ms. Ward. I'm so happy to finally meet you or would that be meet you again?"

"Please call me Keesha. I saw your grandmother the other day. I know she's been through a lot, but she looks good. I was sorry to hear about your mother and Sonny."

"Thank you. It's been a rough few years. I told Julianna how much A.J. has helped me. His program really works. At least it did for me."

"I think it's fantastic," she said. "I'm sorry you ended up having to go there, but I'm thrilled A.J. was able to help you."

"It wasn't just me," A.J. said.

"There were other counselors," Michael said, "and meetings that I had to attend, but A.J. was the one I spent the most time with. He helped me, and I'll never forget that."

Keesha reached for A.J.'s hand and clasped it in her own. She looked at him and smiled.

"I knew you would find a way to help people, A.J. I just knew it."

"Yes, A.J.," Julianna concurred. "I think what you're doing for people who are where you've been is wonderful. I'm not just saying that because Michael is my friend, and you've helped him. I...I've been reading more of the articles and interviews from the magazines. Mama asked me earlier if I would be willing to acknowledge that you haven't had an easy life. I am willing to acknowledge that. Because my mother loves me so much, I can't imagine what it must be like to feel unloved and unwanted, but you turned your life around, A.J. You took a horrible situation and made something positive out of it. I hope I have inherited that trait. I think it's a great one."

"Thank you, Julianna," A.J. said, his voice thick with emotion. "You don't know what it means to me to hear you say that."

"I think I do," she said, her voice filled with emotion, too.

A.J. had to admit that his daughter never ceased to amaze him. She never failed to amaze Keesha either. Michael reached for her hand and tenderly squeezed it.

"Mama, is it okay if Michael and I go out for a while?"

"Yes."

"I'll stay with your mother," A.J. offered.

"Where are you going?" Keesha asked.

"I thought we'd go some place nearby for lunch."

"Sounds good. I don't think Julianna has eaten much the last couple of days."

"I thought I might introduce her to some friends and cousins. Is that okay?"

"That's fine," Keesha said. "It'll be nice for you to meet new people, Julianna."

"May I ask one favor?" A.J. interjected.

Michael nodded.

"Please don't tell anyone I'm your father."

"I understand," Julianna said. "I won't say anything."

"Michael, it was such a treat to see you again," Keesha said and smiled.

She held out her arms and Michael gave her a hug.

"Please tell your family I said 'hello'."

"I will. My grandmother said to say 'hi', too."

"Enjoy yourselves," A.J. said.

"We will."

After Julianna and Michael left, A.J. and Keesha looked at each other and shook their heads.

"There hasn't been a dull moment since we arrived," Keesha said.

"Tell me about it," A.J. agreed.

Keesha reached for his hand once more.

"It seems you handled yourself very well when Michael and Julianna showed up at the hotel."

"I didn't have much choice. All I kept thinking was why hadn’t I listened to you. I should've told Julianna about Michael."

"Well, she knows now, and I think she's going to be okay with it. I really do."

"I can't believe they're friends!"

"I couldn't believe it either. When she said the name 'Michael,' I just could not let my mind go there. But he seems like a nice enough young man. I can see your influence in him, A.J. I really can."

When A.J. started to protest, Keesha hushed him.

"Will you *please* let me give you a compliment? Just one? That's all I'm asking for, A.J."

"I appreciate it, Keesha, I do, but I don't want to take away what Michael has done to get his life back on track. He's in a much better place, but I still worry about him."

"Why?"

"Because there are residual effects from what he went through. How can there not be? That boy has not had a normal life in any sense of the word."

"Do you think he's going to go back to drugs?" she asked, concerned.

"No. I think if that were going to happen, it already would have. What I look for are signs that he still has unresolved anger and resentment. One never knows when or how that may manifest itself."

"Julianna's safe with him, isn't she?" Keesha demanded to know.

"Yes, I believe she is. I just can't help wondering, and to a lesser extent worrying, about just how close those two have become."

*~*

While walking to the restaurant Michael had chosen, Julianna filled him in on her conversations with her mother and with A.J.

"My father totally surprised me this morning," she said. "Michael, can you believe he offered to get in touch with his family if I decide I want to meet them?"

"Wow, Jule, that's fantastic!"

"He mentioned a few names. Skye and her husband Tom and Emily, who is my father's sister."

"I know Emily. She's always been an aunt to me. You'll like her, Jule. I definitely think you should meet her. Of course, I think you should meet your grandparents, too."

"Do you know them? What are they like?"

"They're nice people. I know bad things have gone down between them and A.J., but I can't imagine they wouldn't be ecstatic to meet you. My grandmother asked me about that this morning. I told her I didn't know if they would ever meet you."

"What if things don't go well for my father? I would hate it if I caused more problems."

"I don't think you could ever cause problems for anyone, Jule. I think they will love you on sight."

"Is it fair of me to put my father in that position?"

"A.J. offered. Maybe you should just make sure he's really okay with it. If he is, I say go for it."

They'd reached the diner. The neon sign caught Julianna’s attention, and she looked up at it. She couldn't believe her eyes.

"'Kelly's'?" she squealed. "This is 'Kelly's"?!"

"I knew it was popular, but c'mon, Jule. There's no way you've heard of this restaurant."

"I have so," she said. She stuck her tongue out at him which made him laugh. "Mama told me about it this morning. She lived here. Well, in a room above the diner, I guess. Do you think I could see the upstairs? Are there still rooms up there?"

"As far as I know. Let's go in and find out, shall we?"

As soon as they stepped inside the small but bustling diner, people began waving and calling out to Michael. Julianna was a bit taken aback at how popular he was.

"Let me introduce you to some friends of mine, and then we'll ask about going upstairs."

"Okay."

Michael escorted Julianna to Brooke Lynn and Lesley Lu's table.

"Michael!" Lesley Lu greeted. "Sweetie, how are you?"

"Fine. I'd like to introduce you to a good friend of mine. Brooke Lynn Ashton and Lesley Lu Spencer, this is Julianna Ward."

"Ward?" Brooke Lynn asked. "As in Justus and Dara Ward?"

"Justus is a relative," Michael said. "Julianna is Keesha's daughter."

"Keesha!" Brooke Lynn exclaimed. "I know about Keesha. Hello, Julianna. Nice to meet you."

"Hi," she said, staying close to Michael. "It's nice to meet both of you."

"Lesley Lu is my cousin on my mom's side, and Brooke Lynn is her best friend and one of my good friends, too, even though they're older than me."

"Not that much older!" Lesley Lu protested. "Hi, Julianna. It's nice to meet you."

Julianna and Michael chatted with the two brunettes for a few minutes, and then he told them they were going to eat.

"I'll introduce you to another cousin and his wife. Lucky Spencer is Lesley Lu's older brother. Liz is his wife. They have the cutest kids."

"Hey, Mikey," Lucky said.

"You know I hate that name," Michael grumbled.

"Be nice, Lucky," Liz teased. "He has a young lady with him."

"That's why I came here. I wanted to introduce you. Lucky and Liz Spencer, this is Julianna Ward. She's Keesha's daughter."

"Keesha! Oh wow," Liz said. "She hasn't been around here in years. Are you living here?"

"For the time being."

"Is Keesha here?" Lucky asked.

"Yes, she is."

"I hope we can see her," Liz said.

"Maybe you will," Michael said, speaking for Julianna.

"Well, it was very nice meeting you, Julianna," Lucky said.

"Yes," Liz echoed. "Very nice. Tell your mom we said 'hi', okay?"

"I will. Thank you. It was nice meeting both of you, too."

"Stay outta trouble, Mikey," Lucky teased.

"Shut up," Michael said, but then he laughed, too.

"Let's ask Serena Baldwin, one of the waitresses who happens to be my friend, if we can go upstairs."

Michael introduced the cheerful blonde to Julianna who told them they could take a quick tour of the upstairs.

"But don’t disturb anyone," she cautioned.

"We won’t. Thanks, Serena."

Julianna looked at the staircase and began to imagine her mother having to climb those stairs every single day. She thought about their small but cozy house in Philadelphia and felt a pang of homesickness. She wondered if they would ever live in that house again. My mother has come so far and has accomplished so much, she thought, as they ascended the stairs. Thinking of how much her mother had managed to do on her own made her love and respect Keesha that much more.

She and Michael looked around at the small rooms.

"I wonder which one was my mother’s? I’ll have to tell her we came here. I’d like to know which room was hers."

"I know a lot of residents have lived in these rooms."

"I’m proud that we have our own house in Philadelphia," Julianna said as they descended. "I was just wondering if we’re ever going to move back there."

"Would it be self-centered of me if I said I hope you and your mother stay here?"

"That’s sweet, Michael, but Port Charles doesn’t feel like home."

"You have to give it more time, Jule. Can I tell you something?" he asked as they sat at a table and ordered hamburgers and French fries.

"Sure."

"Brooke Lynn? The one I introduced you to earlier?"

Julianna nodded.

"She’s your cousin."

"Really?"

"Yes. Her father and A.J. are cousins. You could get to know her. Become friends with her and Lesley Lu. You could hang out with some of my cousins. We could have a blast."

"I can’t forget why we’re here, Michael. My mother is still my first priority."

"Of course she is. I didn’t mean to minimize that. I’m sorry."

"No, it’s okay. A part of me would like to do all those things, but I just don’t know."

"I think you need to take A.J. up on his offer, Jule. I think you need to meet your grandparents. Maybe some things will make more sense to you if you meet them."

"I’ve been thinking about my father’s offer. I just don’t think I have the right to put him through that kind of stress."

Their food arrived. Julianna was hungry, but it seemed as though other concerns always took precedence over eating.

"You are going to eat, aren’t you?" Michael asked.

"Yeah. After I call my mom."

Keesha answered the phone and after a brief conversation with her daughter, she handed the receiver to A.J.

"It’s Julianna. She wants to talk to you."

"Hey."

"Hi, A.J. I’ve been thinking about what you said at the house."

"About meeting my family?"

"Yes. A.J., are you sure it won’t be too much for you?"

"Yes, Julianna, I’m sure."

"Then I would like to meet your side of the family."

Chapter 30

"What did Julianna say?" Keesha asked when the call ended.

"She said she wants to meet my family."

"A.J., that's wonderful."

Now that their daughter had voiced her desire, an uneasiness enveloped A.J. He stood from the chair and ran his fingers through his hair while he paced the room.

"I’m not quite sure what it means," he admitted. "I’m in touch with Emily, but I haven’t seen her or my parents since I left eleven years ago. Not even my grandparents’ deaths could bring me back to this town. I just couldn’t do it, Keesha. But finding out I have a daughter has changed everything. Now *I* have a family, too, more or less. And I don’t want to keep our daughter from her relatives if she wants to meet them."

"A.J.," Keesha said, taking her time as she rose from her chair. She sensed his struggle and wanted to be near him. "I think Julianna can help you. Maybe she can be the bridge that reconnects you to your family. I believe in my heart she’s doing this for you. I want to be a part of this, too. There is no reason you have to face your family alone. You’ve been there for Julianna and me. Now it’s our turn to be there for you."

Their eyes met and held, and an understanding passed between them. Needing to feel connected, A.J. framed Keesha’s heart-shaped face between the palms of his hands and rested his forehead on hers.

"You would do that for me?" he asked in a whisper.

Wanting him to feel her touch, she trailed his cheek with the pad of her index finger. "Yes, A.J., I would," she said, her voice soft.

"I have absolutely no idea what to expect from my parents."

"I know. But whatever happens, you will be all right."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because it’s who you are. Your parents are the ones who are in for a major surprise. They are going to take one look at you and know you are not the same son who left this town. You’re strong and you’re capable, and I have every belief you will know what to say and how to say it the minute you see them."

He brushed the pads of his thumbs against her soft cheeks. "If you knew how much I’m already dreading this, you wouldn’t have so much confidence in me."

"Yes, I would," she insisted, trying not to be distracted by his gentle caresses against her skin. "But A.J., none of this has to happen today or tomorrow. You take as much time as you need."

"Time is one luxury I don’t believe we have."

"For this," she said, continuing to enjoy his touch as he moved to smooth her brow and then her hair, "we do."

As the conversation ceased, both realized how close their mouths were and how much they wanted to kiss. After a beat, they spoke at the same time.

"A.J."

"Keesha."

"You go first," she said, her eyes never leaving his handsome face.

A.J. continued to cradle her head as he voiced the only thought which consumed him. "Is it wrong that all I want to do at this moment is kiss you?"

"I want the same thing," she said, placing her hands on top of his to draw his mouth closer to hers.

Filled with anticipation and a yearning she didn’t realize existed, Keesha leaned forward, inclined her head and then closed her eyes to savor the moment when A.J. gently brushed, nipped, teased and finally claimed her soft lips with his. As soon as she tasted him, she returned his kiss with a passion that stunned them both. Running her fingers through his thick hair, she realized she hungered for him. Her appetite had been whetted. Desire consumed her and grew. She needed to be closer to him, to feel him, to touch him. She shivered with delight when he parted her lips and slipped his tongue inside her mouth, teasing and tantalizing her tongue while she continued to enjoy the taste and the feel of him as he thoroughly explored her mouth. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held him close, wanting to feel him against her. Every inch of him. She parted her legs to allow A.J. to sidle against her. Letting all other thoughts and concerns go, she fully experienced the thrill of having his lips on hers once more as they continued to share and explore and pleasure each other with their first kiss in almost sixteen years. He could still cause her knees to go weak and her pulse to race. He knew just where to touch her and how to excite her, igniting the fire in her belly she thought had long been extinguished. Pulling him even closer, she deftly slid her warm hands underneath his shirt and ran her palms along the corded muscles of his back as she enjoyed every second that their tongues tangled and danced.

They stared at each other when the kiss finally ended, both thirsting for more. A.J. whispered her name reverently and a bit breathlessly as he continued to hold her in his strong arms. They fit together perfectly.

"I know," she said. She whispered her words while trying to get her heartbeat under control. "Time hasn’t changed everything."

After a few moments of reflective silence, A.J. spoke.

"What would our daughter say if she saw us?"

"I would hope she would understand. I told her you were not the one who hurt me this last time. Do you remember the night of my birthday when you told me you wanted us to be together again?"

"Yes, I do," A.J. said, his voice low and serious. "I meant every word I said that night."

"I know you did," she said, brushing his dark hair. She needed more of him. She didn't know if she would ever be ready to let him go. "I wanted it, too, A.J. I fell in love with you all over again that night. You made it so easy for me to love you. I didn’t want to leave Port Charles. I wanted to stay. I wanted to be with you."

"Keesha, I let so many people and things come between us. I don’t know what would have happened if you had stayed or if I had called but, somehow, we always seem to end up back in each other’s lives. That has to mean something, doesn’t it?"

"I think it does, too. I have to tell you, A.J. I’ve never needed you more than I need you now. I’m so thankful you’re back in my life and in Julianna’s."

"I’m not going anywhere," he assured her.

She closed her eyes as she let his words sink in. He took the opportunity to place feather light kisses on either of her eyelids.

"I know," she said, opening her eyes as tears of joy welled. "And hearing you say that fills me with happiness and a contentment I haven’t known in a long time. Kiss me again, A.J. Please. I need you. So much."

Wanting nothing more than to oblige the lovely lady he held protectively in his arms, he angled his head and soon had covered her mouth with his. He picked up where the first kiss left off, but with an urgency he hadn't realized he possessed until he tasted her warm softness once more. He couldn't get enough of her, and he smiled to himself when he felt her pulling him closer. With her insides tingling from pure pleasure at A.J.'s full cooperation, she took control of the kiss, making sure he knew just how much she wanted and needed him. A.J. did know, and he found himself holding her in his arms long after their second searing kiss had ended. Nestled against the steady rise and fall of his sturdy chest and feeling protected and cherished, Keesha knew there was no place else she would rather be.

*~*

"Zander!" Emily called out as soon as she arrived home from work. "I have exciting news for you!"

Zander darted in from the kitchen, where he had been preparing a snack for their five-year-old twins, Brianna and Brian, to greet his wife.

"What?" he asked, his dark eyes taking in her flushed face. "What’s the big news? Are you pregnant?"

She laughed and gave him a big hug and kiss. "No, silly. I wouldn’t tell you *that* kind of news by screaming in the hallway."

"Then what’s up?" he asked as they walked into the kitchen.

Emily immediately opened the freezer door to see what she could prepare for dinner. She wanted the meal to be a special one.

"We’re having company for dinner."

"Is that all?" he asked and shook his head. "Oh, wait a minute. Is it the Queen? I hope not because I think my tux is at the cleaners."

Emily turned and stroked her husband’s handsome face as he grinned. "You don’t even own a tux. And it’s not the Queen."

"Em, honey, are you going to tell me or are we going to play ‘guess who’s coming to dinner’? I was fixing a snack for our children."

"I see that," she said, looking at the counter. She popped a grape into her mouth.

Crossing his arms in front of him, Zander leaned against the counter and waited for her to tell him who was coming for dinner.

"I’m sorry," she said and kissed him again. "I’m just really excited. A.J. is coming for dinner!"

"A.J.?" Zander said, pushing himself away from the counter. "A.J., as in your brother A.J.?"

"The same one," she confirmed. "Isn’t it fantastic?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess, but why? I mean, it’s not that he’s not welcome here, but isn’t this sudden?"

"Very. I couldn’t believe it when he called me and asked if he could see us tonight. I don’t know what it’s all about, but I told him to come for dinner. He’ll be here in an hour. Zander, help me figure out what to cook!"

*~*

A.J., dressed in black, looked at the picture Keesha had given him of her and Julianna one more time before he rang the doorbell to Emily and Zander’s house. This is it, he told himself as he waited to be admitted. Once he shared his news with them, he knew the next step would be to tell his parents. One thing at a time, he reminded himself. A moment later, he came face to face with his sister who pulled him into a loving embrace the second he stepped inside her house and had put down the shopping bag he held in his hand.

"A.J.," she said, staring at him. "I can’t believe you’re actually in our home. Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this meeting? Every time I talk to you on the phone, I hang up wondering if you would ever come back here. I’m so glad to see you."

The pert brunette hugged him again and then let Zander say "hello." The two men shook hands. Emily led A.J. into the family room, where Brianna and Brian waited anxiously to meet the uncle they had only heard about but had never seen.

"Hello," A.J. said, kneeling down to greet his nephew and his niece.

Brian walked right up to him; Brianna held back.

"You two are so adorable and look just like your parents! May I have a hug?"

Brian giggled when A.J. hugged and tickled him. Brianna, who loved hugs, ran into her uncle’s arms the second he turned his attention to her. A.J. felt a pang of sadness as he realized he would never know what it would have felt like to hold his own daughter when she was that age. He quickly pushed the thought from his mind as he concentrated on the present.

"There’s a shopping bag near the front door," he told them with a wink. "I think there may be something in there for each of you."

"Oh boy!" they squealed in unison, clapping their hands in glee.

The twins disappeared before A.J. could straighten up. Zander laughed.

"You definitely got their attention."

"A.J., that was so sweet of you, but you didn’t have to bring them presents."

"I wanted to," he said. "I haven’t been a very good uncle."

"Yes, you have," Emily said. "You always remember their birthdays and Christmas."

"Yes, but they don’t know who I am."

"Now they do," Zander said. "Have a seat, A.J. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Club soda if you have it."

"We do. Em, how about you?"

"Club soda for me, too."

"I’ll be right back."

A.J. and Emily sat on the sofa. She kept staring at her brother as if she expected him to evaporate any moment.

"You look so healthy and happy," she said.

"Thanks. So do you. I’m very glad you are working at the Port Charles center."

"It just seemed like a natural fit with all I’ve been through. Those kids, and the adults, need our help, A.J. I’m proud to be a part of what you are doing. I wish you would visit our center some time."

"Maybe down the road. Right now, I can’t. But I know Skye and Tom are doing a wonderful job. I have every faith in them."

"They are managing it very well. I really like working for them. So does everyone else."

"I love hearing that," he said and smiled.

Zander returned with their drinks and took a seat across from the sofa.

"Welcome to our home," he said, and they toasted.

"I’ll show you the rest of the place after we eat," Emily said.

"I’ll enjoy seeing it," he assured them.

"Mommy, Mommy! Look what Unca A.J. gave me!"

Brianna squealed with delight as she ran to her mother and showed her the bright pink box containing a Barbie doll and two outfits.

"Ooo, Bri, how nice!" Emily gushed. "What do you say, sweetheart?"

"Thank you, Unca A.J.," Brianna said.

Her shyness gone, Brianna climbed onto his lap and wrapped her small arms around his neck. "She’s so pretty!"

"You’re welcome," he said, overcome with emotion at how loving his niece was. "I'm happy you like her."

Brianna contented herself on A.J.’s lap as she watched her father open the box for her. Zander handed his darling daughter her Barbie. With a big smile on her face, she showed the doll to A.J. and then played with it while she remained on his lap.

Brian had opened his box by himself and raced in soon afterward to thank his uncle for the neat set of cars.

"I love these," he said. "How'd ya know?"

"I took a chance," A.J. said. "I liked cars when I was your age, so I figured you probably did, too."

It helped that he remembered how much Michael had enjoyed playing with cars.

Emily moved over so Brian could sit next to his uncle.

"Thank you!"

"You’re very welcome," A.J. said, kissing the top of his nephew’s dark hair.

As they sat in the family room, A.J. began to realize he was doing the right thing. He knew Julianna should know her family. This meeting gave him hope.

*~*

Once Brian and Brianna had been tucked in for the night, the adults moved to the living room so they could talk. A.J. pulled the picture from his shirt pocket and held it in his hands.

"I have something to show you," he said to the loving couple. "After you see it, I’ll explain."

Curious, Emily took the photograph A.J. held out and scrutinized it closely.

"It’s Keesha," she finally said.

"Yes, it is."

"Is that her daughter?" Emily asked as she handed the photo to her husband for him to look at. "The one who was at the hospital? My goodness, she's beautiful."

"That is Julianna," A.J. said, with a catch in his voice. "She is Keesha’s daughter."

They looked at him anxiously as they waited for the rest of his explanation.

"Julianna is also my daughter."

"A.J.!" his sister exclaimed, reaching for the photo once more. "What?! Are you serious?"

"I’m very serious."

"She’s your daughter?" Zander asked, as if needing confirmation.

"Yes, she is. I just found out a few weeks ago."

"What?!" Emily cried. "No way. A.J., if you had a daughter with Keesha, she would’ve told you long before now. I know she would have."

"If things had been different, I agree. Keesha would have told me. She did try to contact me, but I didn’t exactly make it easy for her. Julianna is my daughter, Em. But I didn’t know about her until recently."

"Why did Keesha choose to tell you now?" Zander asked, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his brother-in-law had a child. A teen-ager at that.

"Keesha is very sick," A.J. said, his voice subdued. "She wanted me to know I had a daughter before her life ended."

"A.J.," Emily said, shocked, "what’s wrong with Keesha?"

"She needs a liver transplant. That’s why we’re here in Port Charles."

"Is she going to have one?" Zander asked.

"We hope so, but nothing’s come through. Yet."

"Poor Keesha," Emily said, looking at the picture once more. "Poor Julianna. Poor you!"

Emily looked at her brother. She now saw how worried and concerned he was.

"What have you been doing since you found out?" Zander asked.

"Supporting Keesha mostly. And trying to get to know my daughter."

"Julianna," Emily said. "How...how does she feel about you?"

"She hasn’t accepted me as her father," he sadly admitted. "But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up."

"Good for you," Emily said.

"She knows and appreciates that I’m trying to help her mother."

"That’s a start," Zander said.

A.J. nodded. "I agree. Just today, Julianna told me that she wants to meet my family."

"That’s wonderful!" Emily said. "You know we want to support all of you any way we can. It'll be great to see Keesha again and meet Julianna."

"Thanks, Em. I'm glad to hear you say that because I have a big favor to ask both of you."

"Ask," his younger sibling encouraged.

"I would like it very much if Julianna could meet you guys first. And since I don’t feel as though time is my friend, I’m hoping this meeting can take place soon."

Chapter 31

Dara woke up early Saturday morning and decided to cook breakfast before Julianna beat her to it. She loved Keesha's daughter and wanted her to have a break from feeling like she had to run the household. She had never known such a mature and responsible fifteen year old. She thought about herself at fifteen and had to chuckle at the vast difference. But she understood it was overwhelming love for her mother that drove Julianna. Dara had nothing but admiration for the young girl.

As Dara cinched her maroon velour robe around her waist, she looked at her husband, who was still in dreamland. If we are fortunate enough to adopt, she told him silently, I pray we do as good a job raising our child or children as Keesha has done raising Julianna. She placed a soft kiss on her husband's cheek and whispered "I love you" before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

A surprise awaited Dara when she entered. Keesha, dressed in jeans and a print top, stood at the counter, without her walker, stirring pancake batter. The smell of freshly brewed coffee enticed her.

"What is this?" Dara asked in amazement, standing next to her friend.

"Good morning," Keesha said.

Her chocolate eyes twinkled when she smiled.

"Okay, girlfriend, you need to spill. That same goofy smile was on your face last night when I came home from work and all through dinner. And now, you are absolutely glowing. What is going on around here?"

"Pour yourself a cup of coffee, and I'll tell you."

The two sat at the kitchen table. Keesha took a sip of tea and then laughed when Dara arched one dark eyebrow as she waited impatiently for the details.

"This is crazy," Keesha said. "I know it is."

But she couldn't stop smiling.

"I feel like a schoolgirl."

"Because?" her friend asked, waiting for more.

Keesha gripped her mug with both hands as she spoke.

"A.J. came to see Julianna and me yesterday, and then we were alone for a while. Dara, our visit was...magical. I didn't realize it until yesterday, at least not fully, but I still have deep feelings for him. I just...I want to be with him. I told you, it's crazy. But he's awakened something in me I thought I had buried a long time ago."

"But, Keesha, is it wise to let yourself feel this way?"

"I'm sure it isn't," she said, staring at the amber liquid in her cup. "But I can't help what I feel. Or more to the point, I don't want to *change* what I feel."

"What about A.J.?" Dara asked. "What about Julianna?"

"A.J. was the one who asked me if it was wrong to feel the way he did. I told him it wasn't because I felt the same way. He also asked about what Julianna would think. I said I hoped she would understand."

"I'm happy for you," Dara said. "Please don't misunderstand me, Keesha. I know you and A.J. were once in love. I know that because of Julianna. But I also know what you're dealing with. Won't things get too complicated? For you?"

"I don't believe so. No one knows better than I do what I'm facing," Keesha said, her voice subdued. "And that's why yesterday was so special to me, and that's also why I want to spend as much time as I am physically able to with A.J. And my daughter. I want to live the rest of my life, Dara. And I want to share as much of it as I can with A.J."

Dara squeezed her friend's hand. "I understand, girlfriend. Believe me, I do."

*~*

A.J. called later that morning and spoke to Keesha and Julianna.

"If you would like to meet Emily and Zander and their kids, we have an invitation for dinner. Tonight."

"So soon?" Keesha asked. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes. I visited them last night. Emily was great. Zander was a little cool towards me, but I understand. We never were what you would call friends. Their children are adorable. I think we'll have a nice time. What do you think? How are you feeling?"

"I feel pretty good," Keesha said.

"I don't want to cause you any stress," A.J. insisted.

"You're not. If Julianna wants to go, I say we plan to have dinner with Emily and Zander and their children. Tonight."

*~*

After writing in her journal that afternoon, Julianna called Michael on his cell phone.

"Hey," he said, happy to hear her voice. "Where are you?"

"At home. How about you?"

"I'm at my dad's."

"You must be busy. Call me later."

"No, it's fine. I'm here by myself. My dad's working, but Lucas is supposed to come by. We talked about going to see a movie. You sound weird, Jule. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I wanted you to know that I'm going to meet my aunt Emily and her family tonight. My mom, A.J. and I are going to their house for dinner."

"That is so awesome!" he said.

She could tell he was happy.

"You will like Emily. I guarantee it. Zander's pretty cool, too. And their kids are great. Bri is shy, but once she gets to know you, she'll follow you everywhere and ask you a million questions. About everything. Are you excited?"

"A little. Mostly, I'm nervous."

"Don't be nervous, Jule. Emily's the best. She'll love you. I know she will."

"I wish you were going to be there."

"You'll be fine," Michael encouraged. "I'm so happy for you that you get to meet Emily and her family. I'll be around, though, and I'll have my cell phone with me. If you need to talk, call me. Okay?"

"I will. Thanks, Michael. Thanks for being there for me."

"You're welcome. Call me when you get home, if you're not too tired. I want to hear all about it."

"I will. I'll probably be wired. Don't be surprised if you hear from me while we're still at Emily's."

"No problem. If you need to talk, Jule, for whatever reason, I want you to call me. Any time."

*~*

Looking very handsome wearing gray slacks, a white shirt, and a gray dinner jacket, A.J. arrived to pick up Keesha and Julianna. Keesha had opted to wear a mauve-colored dress while Julianna chose to wear a jean skirt with a white gauze top. She accessorized with gold hoop earrings and several gold bracelets. Both had curled their dark tresses.

"You both look lovely," A.J. complimented, his eyes shining brightly as he took in the appearances of Keesha and his daughter.

A.J. held Keesha's hands in his and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

The intimate gesture did not escape Julianna's questioning eyes.

"You look very nice, too," Keesha said.

The smile she had worn since A.J.'s previous visit grew wider. She couldn't help it. She enjoyed being around him.

"Are we leaving now?" Julianna asked.

"Whenever you're ready," A.J. said. "If Dara and Justus are here, I'd like to say 'hello'."

"They went out to dinner," Keesha explained. "They said to tell you 'hi'. I think we're ready."

"I am," Julianna said. "I just have to get the cake that I baked. I hope they all like chocolate."

"I know Emily does," A.J. said and laughed. "I'm sure the others do, too, especially the kids. Making dessert was so thoughtful of you, Julianna."

"Mama said she wanted to bring something to them, so I offered to bake."

A.J. carried the cake container to the car, and then he came back and assisted Keesha. Julianna followed. Once they had settled in, A.J. drove off. A little while later, they had arrived on Emily and Zander's doorstep.

Emily had been anticipating this dinner since the arrangements had been made the previous night, but when she opened the door to welcome them, she couldn't quite believe that A.J., Keesha, and Julianna were standing on her front porch, waiting to be escorted into her home.

It wasn't until they had been seated in the living room and the introductions had been made that Emily believed they were in her house.

"Keesha, it's been so long. I'm having trouble with the concept that you are actually here. Please forgive me for staring. It's just so good to see you again. You, too, Julianna. I honestly don't mean to stare, but my gosh, you are one beautiful young lady."

"Thank you," Julianna said demurely.

She liked Emily on sight, and she thought Zander was very nice, not to mention *very* good looking. She approved of her aunt's taste in men. As Michael had predicted, Brianna stayed close to her mother and didn't venture near them, except to give her uncle A.J. a hug when she first saw him. Brian, Mr. Curiosity, as Zander nicknamed him, walked right up to Keesha and let her give him a big hug. When Julianna offered her hand to him so he could walk her into the living room, he took it without question.

"We know why you're here in Port Charles," Zander said. "A.J. told us about it last night. We were so sorry to hear the news, Keesha."

"Thank you. Every time the phone rings, I wonder if it's going to be my doctor calling from the hospital to tell me they have a liver. Sometimes, I hate to admit it, I'm relieved when it isn't."

Sitting next to each other on the couch, A.J. reached for Keesha's hand and held it in his. Julianna didn't miss that move either.

"Julianna," Emily said, turning to look at the young girl who sat next to her mother, "I would love to get to know you better. I hope you will come to think of me as your aunt. You are welcome in our home any time. Please feel free to call me any time, too. Okay?"

"Okay," Julianna said, liking Emily more and more. "Michael said you guys would be great, and I have to say you are."

"You know Michael?" Emily asked.

Julianna nodded. She had thought A.J. might have mentioned it, but now she realized he hadn't.

"I didn't tell you about that last night," A.J. said. "Go ahead, Julianna. Tell them how you and Michael met."

"Please do," Zander said. "We're definitely intrigued."

After Julianna related the details of how she and Michael had come to be friends, she told them she knew the history between Michael and A.J.

"He talks about you all the time," Emily said to A.J.

"I can vouch for that," Zander said with a laugh. "I think he wants to live with you again, A.J."

"I would welcome him any time," A.J. assured them. "But I think he's doing fine with his family right here in Port Charles."

*~*

"You made this cake?" Brianna asked Julianna, when dessert was served in the dining room a little while later.

"Yes, I did."

"It's good!" Brian said, chocolate frosting and vanilla ice cream covering the outline of his mouth and most of his hands.

"It's not good, it's great!" Brianna said, trying to outdo her brother.

During dinner, Bri had warmed up to their guests. She decided Keesha was friendly while Julianna was her new favorite person. Especially because they shared part of the same name.

Julianna smiled at the adorable dark-haired children who sat across from her. "I'm glad you like it."

"We do!" they said in unison, which made A.J. and Keesha laugh.

Julianna looked at her parents, who had not left each other's sides all evening. Mama looks so happy, she thought, as she ate a piece of her cake. So does, A.J., for that matter. When she saw A.J. steal another kiss when he thought no one was watching and then whisper something in her mother's ear that made her smile, Julianna knew a shift had occurred in their relationship. But she found she couldn't be upset about it because they both looked so happy.

"C'mon, you two," Zander said to his twins, when dessert had been consumed, "let's get you washed up and ready for bed."

"Not yet!" they both protested.

"You don't have to go to bed," Emily said. "But let Daddy clean you and put your jammies on. Okay?"

"Okay," they both agreed, reluctantly.

Emily laughed and shook her head as Zander carted them off. She rose and began to clear the table.

"I'll clean up," Julianna offered, standing as well to help her aunt.

"You will do no such thing," Emily said. "You are our guest. I just want to stack the dishes. Zander and I will rinse them later. A.J., you can help. I no longer consider you a guest."

"Gee, thanks, Em," he said and then grinned.

He didn't mind. While Julianna helped her mother get settled in the living room, A.J. and Emily cleared the table. When they were alone in the kitchen, she turned to her brother and asked him the question he had been dreading.

"I think this was a success," she said.

"I agree."

"So, A.J. When are you going to do it? When are you going to let Mom and Dad know that you and Keesha are the parents of that beautiful and sweet-natured young lady? And when do they get to see you and Keesha again and meet your wonderful daughter?"

Chapter 32

When Michael's cell phone rang well past midnight, he knew it was Julianna. Sitting on his bed, he said a cheery "hello."

"Am I calling too late?" Julianna asked, realizing he knew it would be her.

"Nope. I told you to call me any time."

"But you do need to sleep," she pointed out.

"Sleep is highly overrated," he said and laughed.

"Michael, how can you be so cheerful this late at night?"

"I'm not usually," he admitted. "But I had a good feeling about your visit with Emily and her family. Did it go well?"

"Yeah, it did," she said.

"But?" he asked, sensing she wanted to say more.

"Things were going well, very well actually, and then Emily asked my father when he was going to arrange for me to meet my grandparents. The evening sorta went downhill from there."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think A.J. is ready yet, and I guess Emily pushed too hard. She's offering to run interference, but I don't think that's what he wants."

"Maybe after he thinks about it, he'll realize it probably won't be as bad as he's imagining."

"That's just it, Michael. What if it is that bad? What if...what if it's worse?"

"You guys don't have to stick around, right?"

"Yeah," she said sadly, "but I think by then it would be too late. The damage would have already been done. There's another thing, too."

"What?"

"Something very strange is going on with my mom and A.J."

"Strange, like what?"

"Strange like they can't keep their hands off each other."

She sounded repulsed; Michael gave a hearty laugh.

"What?" she asked, feeling indignant. "What's so funny, Michael?"

"You," he said, trying to contain himself. "Jule, your parents obviously like each other. They did years ago. Why wouldn't they now?"

"I don't know, but I wish I didn't have to see it."

"I think it's great," Michael said.

"How can you say that?"

Now she really was annoyed with her overly positive-sounding friend.

"Did your mother look happy?" he asked. "Did A.J.?"

"Yeah," she grumbled, hating to have to admit the truth. "They did."

"That's why I think it's great. You know, Jule, my mom was never happy. Not really. She seemed to come to life only when Jason was around. She married Sonny. I suppose she loved him, in her own way. And I guess he loved her, too, in his own way, but I don't have many memories of happy family times. I'm not saying I wanted a sit-com type atmosphere, but some calmness and routine would have been nice. We always seemed to be in crisis mode and survival mode. I hated it. I had to go off to Sonny's island more times than I can remember to feel 'safe.' What a joke. I never felt 'safe.' Never. And I was hardly with my family. I was with Leticia, my nanny, who I sometimes thought was my real mother. I hated feeling scared and alone, Jule, wondering what was going to happen. I hated having to worry who was after Sonny and would they get him? Would they get my mom? Would they get Jason or his wife Courtney? Would they get me? One place I never want to see again is Puerto Rico. I hate even saying the name. Is it so wrong that your parents are finding themselves attracted to each other again? At least, Jule, your father and your mother seem to want to be together. I'm not trying to preach or lecture, but I think you should be thankful they found each other again. And that they're getting along so well. Can't you be happy for them? At least a little?"

*~*

After a sleepless night, A.J. called Skye to see if they could meet.

"Sure. Tom and I were thinking of going to the Grille for brunch. Join us?"

"If you and Tom wouldn't mind."

"Of course not. We probably should discuss some things about the office anyway."

"Okay. See you in a bit."

*~*

Dara and Justus lingered in bed on a lazy Sunday morning with the sun streaming into their room through the curtains.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing by trying to adopt?" Justus asked as he drew his wife closer to his side and began to caress her bare shoulder.

"Definitely. Why? Don't you?"

"I go back and forth," he admitted. "I want children, Dara, I do. But I'm just wondering if we should try to adopt a baby or a young child. Should we adopt a boy or a girl? Will we make good parents? Will the child be happy and feel loved in our home? Are we really ready for this?"

"That's way too many serious questions for a Sunday morning before I've had my coffee," Dara said.

She stroked his chest and tried to kiss away his worries, but he had one more he needed to voice.

"There's also the situation with Keesha," he said quietly.

Dara nestled closer and encouraged him to continue. She saw his brow furrowed in consternation and knew he had to get his concern out in the open.

"Tell me," she said, entwining her slender fingers with his much larger ones.

"Should Keesha not get a new liver and that causes her to die," he said, choking back his emotion, "Julianna becomes a part of our lives. I want nothing more than to see that she is with us, but it would change our dynamics, don't you think?"

"You're right, it would, although should something happen to Keesha, and I pray every night for her to get a new liver so she can live a long, healthy life, maybe it would be good for Julianna to have a younger child or children around her. Maybe it would help to ease the grieving process."

"You could be right. I admit I haven't thought about it in those terms. I've just been focusing on the huge void that is going to be in all of our lives should a liver not be found for Keesha. I can't imagine her not being around."

"I try not to let myself think about it," Dara admitted, "because it only makes me weepy, but you're right, baby. It is something we need to consider very carefully. Although with what I've seen lately, I think there's something else we need to start thinking about."

"What?" Justus asked, brushing the hair away from his wife's lovely face.

"The way A.J. and Keesha have been getting along the past few days, I think there's a very real possibility that Keesha would want A.J. to have the option of gaining full custody of Julianna should she succumb to her illness."

Justus had to admit that thought had never occurred to him. And now that it had, he knew he had to have a long, serious talk with his cousin.

*~*

"I heard great things about you two from Emily," A.J. said to Skye and Tom as they sat in a corner booth at the Port Charles Grille.

"A.J.! You saw Emily. How wonderful."

"Actually, the three of us, Keesha, Julianna and I had dinner at their house last night."

"Wow," Skye said and chuckled. "I wasn't expecting to hear that. How did it go?"

"It went well until..."

"Until what?" Tom asked, his sapphire eyes quizzing A.J.

A.J. cleared his throat. "Until Emily asked me when I was going to contact my parents."

Skye and Tom shared a knowing glance. Skye placed her hand on top of A.J.'s.

"You don't have to until you believe you can handle it."

A.J. frowned. "That means I'd never contact them, so I can't wait that long."

Skye glanced at her husband who encouraged her to state her offer to A.J.

"Would you like me to talk to them?" she asked. "You know I would, A.J. For you."

He smiled in humble appreciation. "Thanks. I really appreciate the offer, but I can't accept it."

"Why not?" Tom asked.

"Because my parents would accuse me of using Skye. I can hear the conversation now. I have to face them. On my own. Or what I'm trying to accomplish will mean absolutely nothing."

"But that doesn't mean you can't have help," Skye insisted.

"Yes, it does. Skye, you lived with them. You know how my family is. Maybe they have changed, but I can't take that chance. I know what I have to do. I'm just not ready to do it."

"What about Keesha and Julianna? They can help you, right?"

"Yes, and they want to, or at least Keesha does."

"You know, A.J.," Tom offered, "I think the more you stew about this, the more daunting it's going to become. I know, from Skye, how bad things were between you and your family when you left, but it has been eleven years. Surely some of that animosity has passed. Won't they be thrilled to know they have a granddaughter?"

A.J. looked at Skye. "What do you think? Remember how warm and fuzzy your welcome was when my father thought you were his daughter?"

Skye shuddered. Tom wrapped his arm protectively around his wife's shoulders. "Please, don't remind me," she said. "But A.J., you *are* their child. And Julianna *is* your daughter. There's no disputing those two facts."

A.J. stared at his water glass and gripped it so tightly he thought it would shatter. "I need to say this. I need to get this out of me before I explode. I haven't said this to anyone. I've barely given myself a chance to think about it. I keep trying and trying to push the thought from my mind, but it won't go away."

"What, A.J.?" Skye asked, forcing him to look at her. "What is it that has you so scared?"

He swallowed hard and then nodded. He knew he could tell them. He had to tell someone. His voice was quiet when he spoke. "When I finally do contact my parents and Julianna meets them, I keep thinking that my mom, and especially my dad, are going to be wishing that it were Jason who had come back and that they were being introduced to his daughter or son."

"Oh, A.J.," Skye said, tears filling her eyes at the thought of how one of her dearest friends had been torturing himself.

"I don't know what I would do if Julianna were to suffer at the hands of *my* family all because she has the misfortune of being my child and not Jason's."

Chapter 33

After Ellen had examined Keesha at her next appointment, she met with her and Julianna in her office.

"I noted an improvement in your condition from your last visit," Ellen said when they had all been seated. "The medicine I prescribed is helping. I hope you've noticed a difference, too."

"I have. I feel better now than I have in a long time."

"Good. That means you're getting stronger and will be able to withstand surgery. We need to keep you that way."

"Have you heard anything?" Keesha asked, her tone hesitant.

Ellen shook her head. "No, I haven't. But we could be sitting here talking, and the phone will ring with news about a liver becoming available. That's how quickly it happens."

Keesha and Julianna nodded.

"How are you holding up?" Ellen asked Julianna.

"I'm okay," she answered.

Ellen sat back in her black leather chair and steepled her fingers. "I've been thinking about something since your last visit," she finally said. "I know how difficult waiting can be. It's very stressful. So I would like to make a suggestion, and I hope you won't dismiss it lightly. If either of you ever needs to talk to someone, I can refer you."

"You mean like counseling?" Keesha asked.

"Yes. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is impartial. I'm thinking particularly of Julianna, who may benefit from knowing she has a professional she can confide in."

"I don't need to talk to anyone," Julianna stated, her voice firm.

Keesha gently squeezed her daughter's hand. "It's just a thought, sweetheart. I think I know what Dr. Burgess-Harmon means."

"I just wanted to give you another option," Ellen said.

Her dimpled smile softened her next words.

"You and your mom probably do a lot of talking, right? But, most likely, you don't want to say anything that will upset her. Keesha, I'm thinking you may feel the same way towards your daughter and maybe other relatives, too. A professional counselor's job is to listen to people talk about their desires, their fears, their struggles, their hopes. I just thought maybe it would be a relief if you knew you could talk to someone like that."

"I don't want to," Julianna said, adamantly shaking her head.

"We appreciate the suggestion," Keesha said, "but, for now, I think we're fine."

"Okay," Ellen said, not wanting to push. "Do you have any other questions?"

Keesha couldn't think of anything.

"Then I will see you at the same time in one week."

When Keesha and Julianna stood, Ellen spoke.

"If you aren't too tired, Nikolas Cassadine asked if you wouldn't mind stopping by to see him."

"I'd like that," Keesha said.

"Great. His is the corner office, down the corridor from mine. I'm glad you feel up to visiting him. He's been looking forward to seeing you."

*~*

Nikolas embraced Keesha the moment she stepped into his office.

"It's so good to see you," he said when they had pulled away. "I'm so sorry, though, for the reason you are here."

"Thanks. It's good to see you again, too."

"Is this lovely young lady your daughter?" Nikolas asked.

He and Julianna smiled at each other as Keesha introduced them.

One thing Julianna had to admit was that Port Charles had many fine looking men.

Nikolas seated both of them and then sat behind his desk.

"I wanted to say 'hello' and welcome back to Port Charles. I also wanted to make sure you're comfortable with Ellen. If you have any questions or concerns, please tell me."

"Everything is fine," Keesha assured him. "I like Ellen very much. Her care and manner have been terrific."

"Good. I'm always glad to hear that."

"How about you? Do you like being the administrator of GH?"

"It's hectic, but yes, I do enjoy it."

"Good for you. How are Stefan and Alexis?"

"They're fine. Stefan is in Greece right now with Alexis and Ned's daughter Kristina. I just talked to Alexis earlier. Everyone is doing well."

Keesha nodded. "A.J. told me that you're married and have two children. I think that's wonderful."

Nikolas couldn't keep the smile from his face as he handed Keesha the framed picture he had showed to A.J.

"My wife's name is Gia. My son's name is Nikolas, Jr., and my daughter's is Sonya."

"What a handsome family," Keesha gushed.

She handed the picture to her daughter.

"Thanks. It was great to see A.J. last week. It's hard for me to believe he's here."

Keesha gave a small laugh. "I think he doesn't quite believe either, but he's doing well."

"I would love for both of you to meet my family. A.J. knows Gia, but he hasn't seen my children. Whenever you feel up to it, I'd like to invite you and Julianna and A.J. to our house for dinner."

"Nikolas, that would be lovely. Thank you. I'll talk to A.J. about it. I would like to meet your wife and children."

"Excellent. I hope you'll come for dinner soon."

*~*

Hoping to be able to talk to his cousin, Justus didn't return to work once he had picked up Keesha and Julianna from the hospital. But as soon as they arrived home, Keesha announced she wanted to take a nap. Justus knew their talk would have to wait.

"Mama, since Justus is here, is it okay if I go out for a little while?"

"Sure. Are you meeting Michael?" Keesha asked and smiled.

Julianna blushed. "Yeah. He asked if I could meet him at the park."

"That sounds fine. Enjoy."

*~*

"You're very quiet," Michael commented to Julianna, after they had walked around the park.

"I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind."

"Didn't your mom's appointment go well?" he asked, concerned.

"It was okay, but Dr. Burgess-Harmon said something that really bothered me."

"What?"

"She offered professional counseling for my mom and me, but she said she was thinking especially for me. Why, Michael? Why would she suggest counseling?"

Michael shrugged. "I don't know, Jule. Maybe you seemed stressed to her? Maybe she just thought she should mention it."

"I think there was a very definite purpose to her mentioning it."

"Why do you think she brought it up?"

They were standing close together under a birch tree, which provided them much-needed shade.

"I think she recommended it because she knows my mother isn't going to make it."

"No, Jule," Michael said, instinctively reaching out to massage her bare arms with the palms of his hands, "I don't think that's the reason. Not at all."

"Then why else would she mention it?!" Julianna demanded. "She wants me to get used to the idea of 'talking to a professional' because just like they did with you, Michael, they're going to force me to go to grief counseling if my mother dies. But I won't go! I won't!"

Michael saw the tears welling in Julianna's beautiful eyes, and his heart grew heavy. Without either of them realizing what they were doing, Michael pulled her into his arms and held her close as she quietly sobbed against his chest.

"Shhh," he whispered as he stroked her hair. "It's okay, Jule. No one is going to make you go to counseling if you don't want to."

"They made you," she said. "And you said you hated it. I'll hate it, too. I know I will!"

She gulped as she tried to swallow her tears.

"My family forced me to go because they didn't know how to handle my anger. I didn't know how to handle my anger. I was on a very destructive path, Jule. You're not. I doubt anyone in your family would make you do something you didn't want to do."

"But you didn't know you were angry until you lost your mom and Sonny, right?" she asked, looking up at his compassionate face.

"That's true, but there had been signs. My grandmother knew."

"I can't think about my life without my mother in it," Julianna said, continuing to let Michael comfort her. "So how will I know how I'll react?"

"Can you see yourself throwing objects against the walls and breaking glass at every turn?"

Julianna shook her head. "No. I think I'll just be extremely sad and cry all the time."

"That's the difference," Michael said. "I had no sadness in me, Jule, and I couldn't or wouldn't cry. I just wanted to lash out at everyone around me, and I wanted to throw things. I wanted to hurt people. I wanted to hurt myself. That's why I was forced to seek professional help."

He pulled back and gazed into her wet, glistening eyes.

"I can't imagine you ever doing anything so destructive, to yourself or to anyone else."

"I can't picture you like that either, but if you say it happened, I have to believe you."

"Being on drugs didn't help. You don't have that worry either. You're going to be fine. I hope your mom does not die, Jule, but if she should, you will have a wonderful support system. I hope I'm included on that list."

"You," she said, losing some of her inhibition and stroking his auburn hair, "are right at the top of the list. How did I get so lucky to find a friend like you?"

Michael continued to gaze into her eyes. "I was just thinking the same thing."

Their hands stilled as they stared at each other. Making sure it was okay with Julianna, Michael brought his mouth closer to hers. When he saw a flicker of hesitation in her eyes, he drew back.

"Is it okay, Jule?" he asked, his voice barely audible. "Is it okay if I kiss you?"

"I've never been kissed," she admitted, her heart pounding against her ribs from excitement and a little bit of fear.

She wanted Michael to kiss her, but she didn't know what to expect if he did.

He grinned. "Then we'll call this a practice one. If I'm a lousy kisser, it won't count, and you can tell the next guy who wants to kiss you that you've never been kissed."

Despite her agitation, she had to smile. "You never fail to make me feel better. How do you do it?"

He shrugged and laughed. "What can I say? It's a gift."

She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I would like it very much if you would kiss me. For real."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Anticipation consumed Julianna at the thought of experiencing her first kiss. The fact that Michael would be the one only made it that much more special.

"Yes," she said, leaning in closer. "I want you to kiss me."

Michael cradled her face in his hands and slowly brought his lips to mesh with hers. She tasted sweet, like very ripe strawberries. He had experience, but never had a first kiss meant more to him. He drew her closer as she ran her fingers through his hair. He felt her stiffen in his arms when he parted her lips, and then he felt her relax when she realized he wouldn't do anything she didn't want.

Julianna knew Michael wouldn't push her, and he didn't. She felt safe in his arms and the feel of his warm, moist lips on hers made her body tingle. The reality of their first kiss was far better than anything she could have imagined. She didn't want it to end.

"Are you okay?" Michael asked, still framing her face with the palms of his hands when the kiss ended.

"I'm fine," Julianna said, still reeling from his nearness and the erratic beating of her heart.

She reached for his hand and pulled him with her to the ground. She sat with her back leaning against him. He draped one arm over her shoulder and clasped her fingers in his. As she sighed contentedly, he kissed the top of her hair.

"I really like you, Julianna," he said, hugging her closer.

"I really like you, too, Michael. This isn't too weird, right?"

"I don't think so."

She turned in his arms so she could look at him. "Your life has been a lot different than mine. But that's okay, isn't it?"

"I think so. I still have times, Jule, when I'm angry. But the episodes are few and farther between. I would never want to scare you."

"As long as you tell me what's going on, I don't think you'll scare me."

Their heads had been moving closer to each other until they were mere inches apart.

"I want to kiss you again," Michael said.

As soon as the words had been spoken, Julianna gladly obliged.

*~*

When Justus peeked in on Keesha a few hours later, he saw that she was awake.

"May I come in?" he asked from the doorway.

She nodded.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. The nap helped."

"Good."

He pulled the chair from the vanity table and straddled it next to her bed.

"I need to talk to you about something serious. Is now a good time?"

"Sure."

"Unless my guess is wrong, you and A.J. have been getting along lately."

Keesha smiled and lowered her eyes. "You're not wrong."

"He's been treating you well?"

"Very well. I'm enjoying spending time with him."

Justus nodded. "What about Julianna? Have her feelings changed?"

"I think they're in the process of changing," Keesha said. "She doesn't hate him, but she hasn't accepted him as her father. Yet."

"But you seem to think she will."

"I do. I don't know when or how it will happen, but I'm confident it will. She likes A.J. She's just not ready to acknowledge him as her father."

"If that should happen," Justus said, "what will you do?"

"What do you mean?"

Justus rubbed his forehead with his hand. "I *really* hate talking about this, but it's something I don't want to leave unresolved. If something should happen to you, Lil Bit, do you still want the stipulations in your Will to take place regarding custody of Julianna? Or will you be making a change if Julianna tells you she's accepted A.J. as her father?"

"I have to be honest, Justus. My fondest wish is that Julianna will accept A.J. as her father. I'm believing in my heart it will happen, but when it might, I have no idea. A.J. understands and respects the decisions I have made, especially regarding our daughter. He's not pushing for more than either of us is willing to give him. For now, I want my Will left the way it is. If something were to happen to me tonight or tomorrow, I know Julianna would want to be with you and Dara. And I know, as things stand right now, living with you and Dara is what would be best for her. But you have to promise me something, Justus."

"Anything," he said, moving closer to his cousin.

"If something should happen to me, please don't make things difficult for A.J. Please."

"I won't. If you say he understands and accepts the terms of your Will, then I believe you."

"But you can't keep him away from Julianna either. If she doesn't want to see him, that's one thing. But I want him to have as much access to her as he wants and needs. Promise me that you will accommodate him. Promise me that you won't purposely keep A.J. from seeing his daughter."

"I won't, Keesha," he said, his tone serious. "I promise you I won't."

*~*

Later that evening, A.J. dropped by unexpectedly. Keesha was happy to see him.

"How was your appointment?" he asked, after taking a seat on the edge of her mattress.

He'd had a mixed reaction when he asked about Julianna, and Keesha told him their daughter was having dinner with Michael at "Kelly's."

"It went well, although I think Ellen upset Julianna. I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it."

"Why? What did Ellen say?"

"She suggested we may want to go to counseling. Especially Julianna. Our daughter was not happy about that idea."

A.J. frowned. "Do you know why Ellen suggested it?"

"Mostly because of the stress we've been under."

"Do you think it would be a good idea for you or Julianna to seek professional help?"

"No," Keesha said, reaching out to hold A.J.'s hand. "I don't want counseling, and I know Julianna doesn't either. We're fine, A.J., and we will continue to be okay."

He nodded, accepting her wishes. "Did you see anybody you knew at the hospital?"

Keesha smiled. "Yes, but it was on purpose."

"Who did you talk to?"

"Nikolas. He looks wonderful. He invited Julianna, you and me to have dinner with him and his family. I'd like to go."

"I would, too. Let me know when you think you'll be up to it, and I'll call him."

"Maybe this weekend. How about Saturday night?"

"If you're sure."

"I think I'll be okay. I'll just make sure I rest a lot that day. Mention Saturday to him and see if that would work."

"I'll call him tomorrow." After a slight pause, A.J. spoke. "Keesha, there's something else I need to talk to you about."

By the tone of his voice and the tightening of his hold on her hand, she knew the topic would be a serious one.

"What is it?" she asked, brushing the hair away from his forehead.

"I've made a decision about contacting my parents. Keesha, I need to do it as soon as possible."

Chapter 34

"Emily! What a nice surprise."

Monica kissed her daughter's cheek and then offered her a seat. Emily had decided to visit her mom in her office at the hospital.

"It's good to see you," she continued. "How are Zander and the twins?"

"Everyone's fine. How about you and Dad?"

"We're doing well. Your father is getting restless, though. We'll probably take a vacation soon."

Emily smiled her approval. "Good for you guys."

"So what's new with you? Are you still enjoying your job?"

Emily's brown eyes lit up. "I love it," she gushed. "I recently had my mid-year evaluation with Skye and Tom, and they said if I was interested, they would recommend me to go through their program to become a counselor. I told them I'd have to think about it and discuss it with Zander, but if it's at all possible, I've pretty much decided I'd like to do it. It's so rewarding to work with the teen-agers at the Center. Being a counselor would give me a chance to work with them one-on-one or in small groups."

"Sounds very worthwhile. Your father and I are proud of you. I hope you know that. Paige would be proud of you, too."

Emily's expression turned somber. "I do know that. Mom, do you and Dad realize there's another sibling you should be *very* proud of?"

Monica clasped her hands together on her desk blotter and sat up straighter in her high-back chair.

"You're talking about A.J."

"Yes," the brunette said. "That's exactly who I'm talking about."

Monica nodded. "I want to be proud of him, Em, but he hasn't given us a chance to *be* proud of him. He lit into all of us that fateful night, over Courtney and Jason, no less, and then he stormed out of the house and out of our lives. Do you know how many nights I worried myself sick and cried myself to sleep wondering if he were dead or alive? He never called, Em. He left, and it was as though we never existed."

"He left because Dad threw him out of the house. What was he supposed to do?" Emily insisted. "And besides, not long after, you knew he was all right."

"Sure. Because he finally got in touch with you and Skye. I'm his mother, Em, and I stood up for him many, many times. I tried to reason with everyone that night. I pleaded with A.J. to get help, but I didn't tell him to leave. I didn't automatically take my husband's side when he told our son to leave. But your brother was drinking again. It got to be too much. After he cooled off, he should have had the decency to at least call *me*."

Emily couldn't argue with her mother's reasoning because she knew how devastated she would be if her children were to ever disappear from her life without a trace. But she also prayed she would never treat her children the way the Quartermaines had treated A.J.

"Is A.J. out of chances as far as you're concerned?"

"I didn't say that," Monica defended. "But A.J. certainly doesn't seem interested in a possible reconciliation. His silence all these years is proof positive of that."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

Monica narrowed her gaze. "What does that mean?"

Emily steeled herself for her mother's reaction.

"A.J.'s back in Port Charles. And he wants to see you and Dad."

*~*

"A.J.," Keesha admonished, "stand still. You are a nervous wreck!"

In her bedroom, Keesha tried to help him with his tie. He had arrived a few minutes earlier to take her and Julianna to the Quartermaine mansion for what he hoped would be a clearing of the air and a fresh start for everyone.

"Tell me something I don't know!" he snapped, and then immediately apologized.

She pushed his hands away so she could straighten his dark blue tie and shirt collar.

"A.J., you can't let your parents do this to you. You've come too far to backtrack. Answer me honestly. Are you craving alcohol?"

"No," he said, clasping her hands in his after she'd finished with his shirt and tie. "I promise you I don't want a drink. I don't. I did go to three AA meetings today, I'm constantly reciting the Serenity Prayer in my mind, and I've got my sponsor's phone number ready on my cell phone, but I don't want a drink, Keesha. I just want this to be over."

"I know you do," she said in a sympathetic voice.

A soft knock on the door interrupted their conversation.

"Do I look presentable?" Julianna asked, stepping into the room.

"You look beautiful," A.J. said, his fatherly pride showing.

Julianna had chosen to wear a pastel print skirt with a magenta short-sleeve top. She wore a gold necklace and one gold bracelet. Her mahogany curls cascaded about her shoulders.

"Your father's right," Keesha said. "You look lovely, sweetheart."

"Are you okay, A.J.?" Julianna asked. "You look a little pale."

"I'll be fine," he said and offered her a warm smile.

"I'm ready whenever you are," she said, and then left them alone.

A.J. wiped his sweaty palms on a towel in Keesha's bathroom and cursed himself for letting this meeting get to him. He kept telling himself everything would be okay. When he returned to the bedroom, Keesha had finished putting on her make-up.

"You look lovely, too," he told her, coming to stand behind her at the vanity table.

He placed his, for the moment, dry hands on her shoulders and gently squeezed them.

Keesha, dressed in a white linen pantsuit, smiled at him in the mirror.

"Have I told you how very thankful I am that you and Julianna are going to be with me?"

"Yes," she said, turning to look at him. "But I wouldn't mind hearing it again."

"Keesha."

He said her name almost as a reverent sigh. She rose from the chair and stepped into his waiting arms.

"I wouldn't even be doing this if it weren't for you. And Julianna. I have absolutely no idea what to expect from my parents, but knowing you and our daughter are going to be with me, I know I can do this. And I know I can be successful."

"I know you can, too," she said. "But how about some reassurance?"

"I won't turn it down," he said.

She embraced him and told him she had every confidence in him.

"Just keep your cool," she advised. "Don't let them rattle you."

"I'll try to remember that," he said and smiled.

"Remember this, too," she said.

Keesha pulled A.J. closer and initiated a searing, passionate kiss that left them both dazed when it was over.

"I'll definitely remember that," he said, his voice husky with a growing desire he knew he would, unfortunately, have to find a way to quell. Eventually.

Because with a fire having been ignited by Keesha's kiss, A.J. couldn't resist the temptation to draw her into his arms and kiss her again, slowly, teasingly and oh so thoroughly, and then wait with a smile on his face as she gathered herself and reapplied her plum-colored lipstick.

"It's now or never," he said when he knew there was no further reason to delay the inevitable.

*~*

Julianna couldn't help but be impressed when A.J. drove onto the sprawling grounds of the estate and navigated the car along the stretch of winding pavement that led to the main driveway. A.J. couldn't help but notice that his late grandmother's rose bushes were still kept neat and tidy. Keesha had trouble believing they were actually minutes away from entering the Quartermaine mansion.

A.J. parked the car and killed the engine. He used a towel he had brought to wipe his hands and his face. Keesha reached over to give his thigh a loving squeeze. Julianna waited anxiously to exit the vehicle.

AJ. looked out the car window to inspect the rambling house he had once called home. Not that many happy memories came flooding back, even though the mansion hadn't changed much in eleven years. He sensed Keesha's watchful eyes on him and turned his attention to her and to Julianna, who was sitting in the back seat. He pasted on a brave smile.

"Are we ready?" he asked.

"Are *you* ready?" Keesha asked, sincerely wanting to know.

A.J. nodded. "I am. I'm ready to get this over with."

*~*

Reginald was very businesslike towards A.J. when he opened the door and ushered the Quartermaines' guests into the marble-floored foyer, but his expression softened when he saw Keesha and especially Julianna. A.J. thought there might have even been a hint of a smile on his face.

He escorted them into the living room and told them to make themselves comfortable.

"Comfortable?" A.J. said and gave a bitter laugh. "Yeah, right."

"A.J.," Keesha quietly chided.

"I'm okay," he whispered.

He held out his hand to show her he wasn't shaking. But when his eyes spotted the crystal decanters displaying several kinds of liquor, he quickly looked away and began to silently recite the Serenity Prayer once more.

Keesha noticed that Julianna had crossed the room to look at the family photographs proudly displayed on a round, lace-covered table near the fireplace.

"I met her the other day at 'Kelly's,'" Julianna told her mother.

"Oh my, is that Brooke Lynn?" Keesha asked. "Wow, she's so grown up. She's your cousin, Julianna."

"That's what Michael told me. She was with someone named Lesley Lu."

"I'd love to see her, too," Keesha said. "I forgot to ask Nikolas about her. She's his younger sister."

"They both seemed very nice."

Keesha's ever-perceptive eyes fell to the 8x10 silver framed photograph of Jason and, she assumed, Courtney. She tried to picture the woman with A.J., but somehow, she couldn't. When A.J. approached the table a few moments later, Julianna wore a frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She looked at her father with sadness. "I...I don't see your picture, A.J."

He laughed sardonically. "Why am I not surprised?"

Julianna thought it was very unfair; A.J. told her he was okay with it.

A moment later, the trio heard a click and turned as a group to face the double oak doors. They held their collective breaths as the doors opened wider and Monica and Alan, looking older but still attractive, stepped into the room. The tension grew. They all stared at each other, but no one spoke until Keesha covertly nudged A.J., who finally took a step forward. After clearing his throat, he attempted to speak.

"Mom. Dad. I know it's been a long time."

"Too long," Monica said, wondering if she was doing the right thing by restraining herself from running to her only son and embracing him with all her might.

She felt she needed to give him more time even as she longed to tell him how wonderful she thought he looked.

A.J. did not let his father’s stony expression deter him.

"I know there are many things you probably want to discuss, but first, I need to tell you the main reason I'm here. The *only* reason I'm back in Port Charles for that matter."

A.J. motioned for Keesha and Julianna to stand on either side of him. He placed his arms around their backs.

"Mom, Dad," he said, trying unsuccessfully to keep his voice steady, "I want...I want you to meet Keesha's and my daughter, Julianna Mae Ward."

"Your...daughter?" Alan inquired, his tone skeptical.

Tears of joy gathered in Monica's eyes.

"Yes," Julianna spoke up. "I am A.J.'s daughter."

"A.J., this is wonderful!" Monica exclaimed. "Julianna, hello! I'm so happy to meet you."

But Alan had a different take.

"If Julianna is your daughter, how come her last name isn't Quartermaine?"

"I can explain that," A.J. said. "It's true that Julianna is my daughter, but I didn't find out until recently."

Alan snickered. "See, A.J. Keesha knew better, too, than to let you be a part of your child's life."

"Alan!" Monica scolded.

"Whoa, wait a minute," Keesha said. "Yes, it's true that A.J. didn't know about Julianna until recently, but there were many factors involved in my decision. I know A.J. has gotten his act together. I want him to be a part of Julianna's life."

"I'm the reason my mother didn't tell A.J. sooner," Julianna said, her voice soft and subdued.

"You call him A.J.?" Alan questioned. "You don't refer to him as your father? Oh, this is priceless."

"We're in the process of getting to know one another," A.J. said. "I'm okay with Julianna not readily accepting me as her father."

"Because you didn't have anything to do with her upbringing anyway," Alan said dismissively.

"But now that A.J. knows he has a daughter," Keesha said, quickly growing exasperated, "he's willing to do whatever he can to be a good father to Julianna."

"Are the three of you together?" Monica asked.

"Not in the strictest sense," A.J. replied. "Keesha and Julianna are staying with Dara and Justus. I'm at the Port Charles Hotel. But we've been spending a lot of time together."

"And still your daughter refuses to acknowledge you as her father," Alan said, shaking his head in disgust. "Can't you do anything right, A.J.?"

"I'm trying," A.J. said, his patience growing thin. "Julianna has a lot going on right now. It's okay that I'm not her first priority."

"Alan," Monica chided her husband, "have you listened to one thing your son has said? He's okay with this situation. He's accepting it the way he should be. Why can't you give him the benefit of the doubt? Just this one time?"

"Benefit of the doubt about what?" Alan asked. "I think Keesha's actions, and Julianna's, speak volumes. Just because A.J. is no longer drinking doesn't mean he automatically gets to be Julianna's father. I applaud Keesha's decision. I'm sure she made the right one."

A.J. gave up. He thought he had a real chance to make a connection with his parents, but he realized his father held a grudge against him a mile long.

"It's comforting for me to know you're getting so much pleasure out of the fact I was kept from my daughter for almost sixteen years," he said, his voice filled with sarcasm. "Maybe it will also please you to know that I came here because Julianna wanted to meet you. That's right. She wanted to meet *my* family. Well, Julianna, you've met them. What do you think?"

"A.J., that's not fair," Monica protested. "I want Julianna to give us a chance. I want to get to know her."

"I have a question for you," Julianna said, speaking more to Monica than to Alan.

"Of course," Monica said. "Ask me anything."

"Why don't you have a picture of my father on your family photograph table?"

"Julianna," Keesha cautioned, afraid her daughter was about to cross a line.

"I'll answer that," Alan said. "The reason is simple, Julianna. For the past eleven years, we haven't had a son."

"I left because you ordered me to!" A.J. yelled.

Any restraint he thought he had was gone.

"You told me I was no longer welcome in your home. You told me to get help and to get a life. That’s exactly what I did."

"I told you to leave because you were causing nothing but trouble for this family," Alan said. "You couldn't even be civil to your brother and his wife."

"You mean the wife he stole from me! Jason never cared about this family, but the minute he could flaunt his relationship with my ex-wife in my face, he chooses to start coming around? And nobody questions him?! Yes, I had too much to drink that night and I should have left, but not one of you ever saw the irony of the situation. When I was married to Courtney, you didn't want to be around her, but suddenly, she's Jason's wife, so that makes her special? Someone to be loved and respected? You know what? I'm not doing this. I'm not getting into all of this with you again. I have my own life now, and I am very happy. I have Keesha in my life again, and now I have a beautiful, sweet daughter who does not need to witness anymore of this. I tried. Dammit, don't ever tell me I didn't try. But this is not worth it. Mom, I'm sorry, but it's eleven years later. I'm older. I have my own things that I'm dealing with, and I will not go through this again. I won't. And I will not *let* you put Keesha and Julianna through any of this. Come on," he said, turning to look at Keesha and Julianna with determination in his eyes. "We're out of here."

"Not yet," Julianna said.

A.J. looked at her in surprise when she reached out to hold his hand.

"I need to say something," she said, tears gathering in her eyes. "I am the one who asked to meet you, and my father arranged this, even though he must have known this meeting wouldn't be a pleasant one. I'm guilty of not wanting my father in my life, but it was because I was scared. I was frightened of the man I thought he was. I was scared for my mother. I didn't want her to get hurt again. But ever since A.J. has come into our lives, he's brought us happiness. Mama has never smiled as much as she has these past few weeks. I've gotten to know my father, and I think he's wonderful. He makes me laugh, and he laughs at himself."

She turned her attention to her grandfather.

"You seem to want something from your son, but I don't think you're doing a very good job explaining what it is you think he owes you. He came here, wanting to see you, and talk to you, but that's not what you want. You just want him to feel guilty, all over again, for something that happened so many years ago."

She looked at both of her grandparents.

"When my father arrived at our house in Philadelphia, after my mother had written to him, he didn't make my mother pay for keeping me away from him for all these years. He didn't stress my mom out with questions and accusations about why he didn't know about me sooner. He came, ready to help us, and wanting to know me. On our terms, not his. My father has the biggest heart. He told me he loved me, unconditionally, because I was his daughter. He made no demands on me or on my mother. He just wanted to be in our lives. He told me he would never cut me out of his life or not be there for me. I took those words for granted because I wasn't ready to hear them, but now, after witnessing this scene, my father's words are precious to me. All he's ever asked of me is that I give him a chance."

She turned tear-filled hazel eyes towards her father.

"I'm ready to give you that chance, Daddy. I love you so much. I didn't realize how much I loved you until I saw how a father can so cruelly treat a child he can't or won't love. You told me that about your father, but I didn't truly believe it. Now, I do. I love you," she said, throwing her arms around a very shocked but ecstatic A.J. and giving him a giant hug. "And I thank you for loving me the way that you do."

Keesha let the tears fall freely from her eyes as she watched father and daughter come together for the very first time as parent and child. Her heart was ready to burst. She had never been prouder of her daughter, or of A.J., for that matter. It had taken Julianna a long time, but she had finally accepted her father into her heart and into her life. Keesha had never been happier.

Alan and Monica looked on in stunned silence.

"Thank you," A.J. said when father and daughter had gotten their emotions under control. "All I ever wanted was for you to accept me as your father."

Julianna nodded. "I know. And I do, Dad. I do accept you as my father. I love you."

Feeling as though he were walking on air, A.J. looked at his parents. He had no anger or regret in his heart, only sadness. "This didn't go as I had hoped it might, but I'll be in Port Charles for a while. Call me at the Port Charles Hotel if you want to talk. I'm not leaving this time because I've been thrown out. I'm leaving because my daughter has made me the happiest man alive, and I want to celebrate with *my* family. And the irony of this is: I have you to thank for helping make this happen for me. Thanks. Dad."

Chapter 35

"So how did it go?" Dara asked as soon as Keesha and Julianna arrived at the house.

Justus was curious, too.

"It was...interesting," Keesha said. "Monica seemed too reserved; Alan was unbelievable."

"It was horrible," Julianna spoke up. "If that's the kind of treatment my father endured all the time, then I can see why he hasn't been back in so long. I'm glad he got us out of there."

Dara saw spunk and anger spilling out of Julianna.

"Are you A.J.'s new champion?" she couldn't help but ask.

"He's my father," Julianna said, speaking in a lower voice. "And tonight made me realize how fortunate I am to have a father who just wants to love me. His father ridiculed him in front of us. My father didn't deserve that, not when he was doing this because I asked him to. I felt so bad for him."

"Sounds like you've softened where A.J. is concerned," Justus said, eyeing her with interest as he waited for an answer.

"I have," she said, looking from Justus to Dara. "I realized tonight that I love him. I'm happy he's my father. I didn't want to let myself feel anything for him, but I do."

"Are you sure it's not just pity?" Justus asked, needing to make certain of the young girl's feelings.

"No. If it were pity, I could almost understand what my grandfather was saying to him. He’s living in the past. I know the type of man my father is today. He's not at all how they described him. I think his father wanted him to grovel or something. My father didn't make any demands on Mama or me when he showed up in Philadelphia. The difference I saw between my father and his father shocked me. Mama and Michael kept asking me to give Daddy a chance, but I didn't want to because I thought if I did, then he would change and start making demands on me, too. But I realized tonight that's never what he wanted. All he wanted was to love me and to make sure I knew he loved me. He may not have the love of his parents, or at least his father, but my father will always have my love."

"Sweetheart," Keesha said, hugging her daughter, "I couldn't be prouder of you. Thank you, baby girl. I know your father is one happy man."

"I'm happy, too, despite our visit," Julianna said. "I hope you're happy."

"I am. I admit I'm still stunned by Alan's reaction to seeing A.J. after all this time, but I was very proud of A.J., too. He wasn’t arrogant or defensive. He didn't make any cutting remarks. He didn't play their game, but he didn't leave without offering an olive branch. They're welcome to contact him any time. I just don't think he'll be paying any more visits to the mansion. At least not any time soon."

"Mama, is it okay if I go to my room?"

"Of course, sweetheart. I know you must be tired."

"I am. I think I might call Michael, though, and Shelly, too. Is that all right?"

"It's fine. Just make sure you're not on the phone all night, okay?"

Julianna smiled. "Okay. I love all of you."

"We love you, too," Dara said, after Julianna hugged her mother.

The trio headed to the kitchen once Julianna had gone upstairs.

"You got your wish, girlfriend," Dara said as she poured tea into mugs.

"None for me, honey," Justus said. "I...I have an errand to run."

"Now?" Dara questioned.

"Yes. It's something I need to do. I shouldn't be long."

"You're not going to the Quartermaines, are you?" Keesha asked, ready to talk her cousin out of that idea.

"No," Justus said. "I'm not going to the Quartermaines. This is just something that I thought about and have to take care of. I'll see you soon."

"What do you suppose *that* was about?" Keesha asked.

"Keesha," Dara said, looking perplexed, "I have *no* idea."

*~*

The moment A.J. admitted Justus into his suite, he inquired if Keesha and Julianna were all right.

"They're fine," Justus assured an anxious A.J.

He pointed to the chair at the table.

"Go ahead," A.J. said.

Justus sat down at the glass-topped table; A.J. took a seat across from him.

"I heard things got dicey at the mansion."

"Of course they did," A.J. said.

He gave a small, bittersweet laugh.

"It would've been too easy if things had gone smoothly. Those types of visits are for the prodigal son, right? And we both know that's not me."

"A.J...."

"I'm fine with the outcome. Really I am. I don't need my parents' approval, and now I have a chance to build a solid relationship with my daughter. I'm happy. My happiness would be complete if Keesha could get a new liver. That's where my focus is. On Keesha and Julianna."

"I can see that," Justus said, gaining new respect for his cousin. "And that's why I'm here. I need to tell you something, and then I need to give you something."

A.J.'s gaze narrowed. "What do you have to tell me?"

"I hope you'll hear me out because what I have to say isn't easy but very necessary."

"I'm listening."

"Your family was sorely disappointed when you didn't come home for your grandmother's funeral. They thought sure Lila's death would have brought you back to Port Charles, and they knew Emily had told you she had passed on."

"Em did tell me," A.J. acknowledged. "And I struggled with guilt for a long time about my decision not to return. It was one of the hardest decisions I'd ever had to make. But I knew I wasn't strong enough. I knew the emotion and the sadness and the grief would be more than I could handle. I also couldn't handle the questions and the curious looks I'm sure I would have received. I wasn't ready to answer to anyone. I knew the whole scene would most likely have sent me back to the bottle, and I could not afford another slip. Especially in front of my family. If that makes me weak or a coward, then so be it. I loved my grandmother with all my heart. But my love for her wasn't going to be enough to get me through what I knew I would have to face."

Justus nodded. "Believe it or not, one family member understood that. And when he was dying, he begged me to find you so he could talk to you, Grandfather to Grandson."

Justus couldn't have shocked A.J. more.

"Grandfather wanted to see me?"

"Yes, A.J., he did."

"Why?" he asked, unable to believe that Edward would have understood his position. "To berate me for not being at Grandmother's funeral? And for not rushing to his side when I knew he was ill?"

Justus shook his head. "No, A.J. To tell you that he understood why you had to leave and why you had to stay away."

"Grandfather told you this?" A.J. asked, incredulous.

"Yes, he did. When he was in the hospital, he kept asking me to find you, to bring you to him. He said he had so much to tell you. He wanted to know how you were handling the news that Michael wasn't your son. I told him I couldn't bring you to him. He was so angry with me. Right after Edward had gone into the hospital, Keesha contacted me and told me she had been put on the waiting list for a new liver. She asked to see me. She said she needed to decide about Julianna and you. She said she also needed to finalize the papers for Dara and me to receive full custody of Julianna if she didn’t make it. I felt as though I were losing family all around me, so without telling anyone, I took a liberty that I hope you can forgive me for."

"What did you do?"

Instead of answering, Justus stood from the chair and walked to the bay window. He stared unseeingly at the view of the Port Charles skyline in the late afternoon sun. A.J. rose and moved to stand behind his cousin, listening intently to every word he spoke.

"I knew it was only a matter of time before you found out about Julianna. Keesha was determined that you learn about your daughter and that you meet her, and you know how Lil Bit can be when she's determined."

"Yes, I do."

"I couldn't bring you to Grandfather, and I couldn't convince him that you hadn't suffered a setback after learning that Michael wasn't your son, but I told him from everything I knew, you were doing fine with the news. Grandfather needed more. He needed a reason to hold on for just a little bit longer. I hope my decision helped him in some way to hold on and to also find a little peace where you were concerned."

"What did you do, Justus?" A.J. asked again.

He turned around and faced his cousin. "I told him about Julianna. And then I showed him pictures of her. I showed him pictures of Keesha, too, but I didn't tell him about her illness."

"Grandfather knew I had a daughter before he died?"

"Yes, A.J., he did. Like I said, I hope you won't be too upset with me. Keesha doesn't know what I did. If you want to tell her, it's up to you. I can tell you that Edward was beyond thrilled. He started bellowing at me that you had to know you had a daughter. That's when I knew he would be able to hold on for a little bit longer because there was something he had to do."

"What was that?" A.J. asked, still stunned that his grandfather had known about Julianna.

"He wanted to write this to you."

Justus produced a bulky, sealed white envelope from his shirt pocket and handed it to A.J.

"Edward asked me to give this to you if you ever returned to Port Charles and saw your parents. Since both of those events have occurred, I see no reason to continue holding on to it. It's for you, A.J. Grandfather wanted you to have it. I have no idea what he might have said to you. I've just been abiding by his wishes."

A.J. turned the envelope over in his hands. "I'll open it soon."

"If you need anything after you read the contents, let me know."

"Thanks. I will."

"I'll leave you alone. I didn't want too much time to go by before I gave that to you."

"I appreciate this, Justus. I really do."

"No problem."

A.J. walked him to the door.

"Justus," he said, when his cousin had stepped outside the suite.

He turned to look at A.J.

"I'm glad you told Grandfather about Julianna."

Justus smiled, nodded and left A.J. alone.

*~*

A.J. sat in the chair his cousin had vacated and stared, for several long moments, at the sealed envelope. He thought he would feel as though it were mocking him, but he didn’t. He felt his grandfather prodding him to open the envelope.

With trembling fingers, A.J. finally did. He pulled out several folded sheets of personalized beige stationery and straightened them on the table. He recognized his grandfather’s scrawl, and as he began to read the contents of the letter, it was as though Edward’s booming voice were present with him in the room.

"My Dearest A.J.," the letter began, "if you are reading this that means you have finally returned to Port Charles and have seen your parents. I know this to be true because Justus gave me his word he would not give you this letter until those two things had occurred.

"So much has happened in the years since you left our family and our home. Your darling grandmother has passed on, and I am writing this from a confounded contraption in General Hospital. I know I will never see my bedroom again, and I’ve made my peace with that. What I haven’t made peace with is what has happened to you.

"I cannot believe that Michael is not your son. Life dealt you many a cruel blow, A.J., and no one knows that more than I do. I know you probably just read that line and thought, no one was harder on you than I was. That’s true, A.J., but it was because I never wanted to see you give up. I loved it when you would want to fight for little Michael, who by the way, is no longer so little. Whatever you may think of me, I loved my family very much. And you were always a part of my family, despite the fallings out we had and the ones you had with your father, Jason and Ned. I tried to keep you in the game. I wanted you to compete with them, to show them what you were made of, but I also understand that alcohol had you in its grips and would not let you go.

"Your parents were very angry with you, young man, when you did not show up or call when your Grandmother passed away. But Lila and I had talked, and she said she didn’t expect you would show. She knew how hard it was for you to be around the family. She just wanted you to be happy, my son. She wanted you to finally have the peace and contentment that she knew you deserved. In the end, A.J., that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, too."

There was more to read, but A.J. needed to stop. He couldn’t believe this was the same grandfather who had hardly ever given him a break.

"I can’t believe you mellowed this much. And that I missed it."

He spoke his words to the letter he held in his hands.

After letting his grandfather’s words sink in, he resumed reading.

"One of my last wishes was that I would get to see you, but alas, it was not meant to be. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t kept up with the wonderful work you are doing. I wish I could give you a big hug. You have done exactly what we all said you could never do. I know I’ve been guilty of it, too, even when I wanted nothing more than to see you succeed. You made it hard for us to root for you sometimes, but I know your arrogant attitude and your 'I don’t-give-a-damn' mentality was to cover a lot of hurt and bitter disappointment. You made us all take notice, A.J., and you proved to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you most certainly did give a damn. I say bravo and that it’s about time."

A.J. allowed himself a smile.

"I’m staring at your picture that accompanied an interview you gave to a magazine that Justus brought me. You look healthy, my son. I’m damn proud of you, and I don’t care who knows it. Everyone in this hospital, who has been in my room, knows you are my grandson. They think I’m old and senile, so they humor me, but believe me, A.J., my faculties have never been sharper. I *know* what you have accomplished, and I know you had to leave your family in order to do it. I also know it couldn’t have been easy, but you finally managed to shut all of us up.

"If your parents were hard on you when you saw them, and I imagine they probably were, at least your father, anyway, don’t be hard on them, A.J. They’re still mourning the loss of four members of their family, six if you count Jason’s wife and Michael. We’ve had our share of problems, I am not going to deny you that, but since you are back in Port Charles, please, A.J., make peace with your family, and yes, I’m including Ned.

"Justus has just finished telling me about your daughter. Oh, how I want you to know her. I begged Justus to call Keesha so I could talk some sense into her, but he will not get involved in helping me find you or Keesha. He showed me pictures of Julianna and Keesha. She is absolutely beautiful, and she is your daughter, A.J. There is no mistaking that. I pray you two will find each other, and that you will be able to accept each other into your hearts and your lives. Don’t be a stubborn fool the way your father was. I’m asking you to accept your daughter into your life. There will always be time for questions. But you don’t know what the future holds. You have a chance, A.J., a chance for a real family. I can’t get Justus to do my bidding, but son, you had better find Keesha and your daughter. And if you’re lucky, maybe you and Keesha will find your way back to each other. It would do my heart good if I knew the three of you were a family. A real family. The way you could never be with Michael. Everyone deserves a family, A.J. We’ve all had a turn. Now it’s your turn. Go, A.J. Find them. Bring them into your life and into your heart. In the end, love is what matters. And believe me when I tell you, love is never gone."

The tears fell freely down A.J.’s cheeks when he had finished that portion of the letter. There was another note, but he couldn’t read it. All he wanted to do at that moment was to visit his grandmother and his grandfather.

"I owe you at least that much," he said, still believing his grandfather’s presence was with him in the suite.

*~*

A.J. arrived at the mausoleum and placed a bouquet of colorful roses on Lila’s crypt. He read the inscriptions and then said a silent prayer for each of them. Grateful to be alone, he spoke his thoughts out loud.

"I read your letter, Grandfather. Somehow, I think you know that, but I wanted to say it anyway. I will always cherish your words and the love I could feel as I was reading them. There were times when I thought you hated me," he said with a small laugh, "but never you, Grandmother. I knew you loved me in spite of the mess I always managed to make of my life. It was never in me, I guess, to be the Quartermaine everyone expected. In Manhattan, I am known as A.J. Quartermaine, but the name does not come with any preconceived notions. I guess that’s one of the major reasons I’ve done as well as I have.

"Yet, I know any success I may have achieved would not have been possible if I weren’t a part of this family, despite how much of an outcast I felt at times. When things got too heated for me, I headed for the bottle. I figured it was what everyone expected me to do, and I had no reason to try to live up to anything else. I never helped anybody, that’s for sure.

"The best thing Dad ever did was to throw me out. I’d already been cut off financially, but as long as I had one more scheme left in me, that wouldn’t have mattered. I couldn’t tell anybody how much it hurt me to see Jason and Courtney together because I thought no one truly cared about my feelings. I’m sorry, Grandmother, but I felt this about you, too, at the time. I know I got involved with Courtney for all the wrong reasons, as is my nature, but somewhere along the line, I did fall in love with her. But like everything else in my life at that time, I handled it very, very badly. I panicked, and I made a bunch of stupid decisions. So Jason came to her rescue. It took me a long time to get over that, but I did. I have. I hope they’re happy, wherever they are.

"I blew it big time when I never contacted Keesha after she left Port Charles. But, you see, the problem was I would’ve used her, and I would’ve hated myself for that. I can hear you now, Grandfather, and I’m so glad you can’t lecture me. Julianna is beautiful and sensitive and caring. She is her mother’s daughter. I just got lucky but, believe me, I know how fortunate I am. Keesha and Julianna make an awesome, unbeatable team, and I’m thankful they are on my side.

"I won’t blow this chance I’ve been given, Grandfather. I swear I won’t. I don’t know what’s going to happen to Keesha, but I am going to do everything within my power to make sure she lives a long, healthy and happy life if she is given that chance.

"I love both of you so much. I thought about you a lot after I left town, but I knew I had to keep my distance. It just had to be that way, for everyone’s sake. I know I caused a lot of hurt and a lot of disappointment. My only hope is that I’m helping others not to make the same mistakes I made.

"You’re absolutely right, Grandfather. Love is never gone. And as we travel on, love’s what we’ll remember. Julianna sang those words to me a few weeks ago. She has a lovely voice. I remember both of you, and I think of you often. I pray you’re resting in peace."

A.J. placed his hands against both crypts and bowed his head for a moment. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a strong hand gripping his right shoulder. He turned and looked into the eyes of his father.

"I think it’s time we had a long overdue talk," Alan said.

A.J. simply nodded.

Chapter 36

"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you at the mausoleum," Alan said.

Father and son had returned to A.J.'s hotel suite.

"You almost had to put your CPR skills to work," A.J. said.

"I'm sorry I spooked you. I heard some of what you were saying, and I instinctively reached out to touch you."

"It's the most contact we've had in eleven years."

Alan nodded as he took a seat on the divan. A.J. sat next to him. Now that he had a closer look at him, A.J. couldn't help but notice that his father had aged. His hair was mostly gray, and his worry lines had increased and deepened.

"After you left the house, your mother and I got into a huge fight. I needed to get away. I guess it was fate that led me to where you were."

A.J.'s eyes roamed to the papers that lay on the table.

"I was there because Justus gave me a letter that Grandfather had written to me before he died. I just...I needed to reach out to Grandfather and Grandmother."

"You know, A.J., your mother and I thought for sure you would come back or at least call us when you found out your grandmother had died. She never treated you badly. How could you not honor her life and her memory?"

"I did honor Grandmother's life. In my own way."

"But not with your family, A.J. You should have been at her funeral."

"Would you have let me, Dad?" A.J. asked pointedly.

At Alan’s perplexed look, A.J. continued. "I'm asking an honest question. If I had come back for Grandmother's services, would you have let me mourn like everyone else? Would you have allowed me my time of sorrow and grief or would you have jumped on me the minute you found the opportunity, the circumstances be damned?"

"Your mother and I, as well as other family members, especially your grandfather, would have had questions for you but, of course, we would have allowed you to grieve. What kind of a question is that?"

"A very valid one as far as I'm concerned. Let me ask you this. Why didn't you give me a chance to explain my situation to you when Keesha, Julianna and I were in your home? I had no sooner introduced you and Mom to my daughter than you had to start in with the derogatory remarks. Why, Dad? Am I still that easy of a target for you? You didn't want to listen to anything I had to say. You still don’t know why I’m even here. And I bet you don’t care. All you want is to make sure I know, once more, what a disappointment I am to the family."

"You are a disappointment, A.J. You could have and should have handled this whole situation very differently. Your mother and I should have met Julianna after we’d had a chance to talk to you. Alone. We couldn't talk about the issues between us with your daughter and Keesha present in the room."

"You didn't seem to have a problem letting my daughter know exactly what you think of me!"

A.J. jumped up from the sofa and began to pace the room.

"Is this how it's going to be every time our paths cross?" he demanded. "Are we never going to get past any of our issues to forge any kind of a relationship or at least a truce?"

"You tell me," Alan said, now standing. "You seem to be the one with all the answers these days."

A.J.'s eyes narrowed. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Oh, come on, A.J. You think I don't read newspapers and magazines. I know you've been interviewed by the best reporters out there."

"And that has what exactly to do with this conversation?"

"You're a big shot now. Isn't that what you've always wanted and what you thought the family was holding you back from? You have it all, A.J. And now you have a ready-made family to go along with your monumental success. Congratulations to you."

As A.J. took a moment to study his father, really study him, a light began to dawn. Was it possible his father was envious of him? But how could that be? And yet...

"I know I have no right to ask that you be happy for me," A.J. said, "but I would like to know why you sound so bitter. What is it I've done? Do you know how hard it is for me to hear you talk that way to me? How hard it’s always been to be on the receiving end of your wrath? It gets old, Dad. It gets very old very quickly."

"Do *you* know how hard it is to try to explain to people that your son, who is so successful helping other people, can't even find the time to be with his own family during their time of grief?!"

"You want to know why I didn't come back for Grandmother's funeral?"

"Yes, A.J.," Alan said, exasperated. "I damn well do want to know why. And why you couldn't even spare a moment for your own grandfather, too!"

A.J.'s eyes never left his father's face. "Right before Emily told me that grandmother had passed away, I'd had to go back for more help. I hadn't taken a drink, but I was thisclose to losing everything I had fought so hard for. When Emily told me that grandmother was ailing, I'd made arrangements to come here. I did. You can ask her. You can ask Skye. But I still harbored so much anger and resentment that when I thought about returning, it literally made me sick. My counselor admitted me, very discreetly, into the hospital so I could get the help I needed. I swear I never took that drink, but that didn't mean I didn't know how much I had let the family down. I knew you and Mom were expecting me. I know I should've been here. But it wasn't worth it to me if I started drinking again. That's all you and Mom and the others would have seen. I come home, after six years of sobriety and making it on my own, and in one or two days, I go right back to being the Quartermaine drunk? I couldn't do it, Dad. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do it."

"A.J.," Alan said, his tone softer, "we could've helped you. We would've helped you."

"You couldn't have helped me. If I had taken a drink, that would've been the end. There would have been no going back, and I would've given up. I almost had given up in Manhattan, but thank goodness I had the sense to call my counselor instead of heading for the nearest bar. I don't know what you feel towards me, Dad. I don't know if you want to throttle me or punish me in some way or if you can finally let some of this resentment go, but I can't play the games anymore. I can't. And more importantly, I won't."

"I feel as though you brought Julianna into our home to flaunt her in front of your mother and me, especially me. I was angry at the situation, and I took it out on you. I never should have done that. But you don't know the hell your mother and I went through all those years ago."

"What was I supposed to do? I'm pleading for an answer, Dad. Tell me what I should have done after you threw me out of the house in front of everyone, including Jason and Courtney. You don't think I was humiliated?"

"See, that's one of the problems I've always had. You get to feel put upon and upset and humiliated and all those other emotions, but you have never once stopped to think what your drunken behavior has caused your family to feel. Do you think Courtney enjoyed being taunted by you that night? Do you think Jason appreciated the accusations and insults you hurled at him? I'm not talking about right and wrong here, A.J., I'm talking about entitlement. It was fine when *you* decided to disrupt our lives with one of your liquored-up outbursts, but how dare we say or feel anything in return? It doesn't work like that. I'm sorry, but it doesn't."

"You're right. I know that now. Dad, I'm not excusing my behavior back then. I'm not. But what I'm asking of you now is what is it you want me to do? Do you want me to stay away? I can do that. Do you want me to call or come by? I can do that, too. But I refuse to play these useless mind games. I don't know what you're feeling or thinking. You're my father, but you're unreadable to me. What is it you want from me, Dad? Please, tell me."

"For starters, I want you to come to the house. Alone. And I want you to apologize to your mother for never having contacted her this whole time. And I want the apology to be a sincere one."

"I can do that," A.J. said. "I know I've hurt Mom. I’ll talk to her. But where does that leave you and me?"

"It leaves us still needing to work through some major issues. I was also going to demand that you visit your grandfather and your grandmother, but you accomplished that on your own. I want to hear you apologize to your mother, and I want you to listen carefully to what your mother has to say to you. This is it as far as I'm concerned, A.J. You are either going to be a part of this family and know that you have certain obligations, or you can just forget about us entirely, and we'll gladly do the same."

"Julianna thought you already had when she looked at the photograph table," A.J. said quietly.

"That was done for a reason," Alan said. "I wanted to shock you."

"I wasn't all that surprised to be honest," A.J. said. "But I was surprised Mom went along with it."

"Your mother didn't know I had done it until Julianna mentioned it."

"Do you really despise me that much?"

A.J. hated that he was letting his father get to him, but he didn't know how else he was supposed to feel.

"I'm disappointed in you, A.J. And I need you to understand the depth of that disappointment. My father wasn't an easy man to get along with either, and we had our share of problems, but we stood by each other and we fought our way through our battles."

"You wanted me to stay so you and I could fight?"

"No, A.J. I wanted you to stay because you are my son."

"Then why did you order me to leave?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"I wanted you out of the house for that night and possibly the next, but dammit, A.J., I didn't expect to go eleven years without seeing you!"

A.J. saw his father's face crumble, and he realized he had finally witnessed one moment of unveiled truth concerning his father's emotional state.

"You didn't really want things to change, did you?" A.J. asked, his voice low. "And you never thought I would be the one who would or could change them. Isn't that right, Dad?"

Alan pulled himself together and headed for the door without answering his son's question. "Tomorrow morning," Alan said, his hand on the doorknob. "I expect to see you at the house."

"I’ll be there," he said.

He even managed a small smile.

*~*

Ready to call it a night, A.J. heard a knock on his door. He looked out and saw Julianna. He opened the door and quickly ushered her in.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Yes. Everything’s fine."

A.J. gave her a stern look. "It’s late. Why aren’t you home?"

Julianna smiled. "It’s okay. Mama knows I’m here."

"How did you get here?"

"Michael and I went to see a movie. He walked me to the hotel. I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind taking me home?"

"Of course not. Sit down. Are you thirsty? Hungry?"

"No. The buttered popcorn tasted sooo good. So did the M&Ms that Michael and I shared. He was happy we finally got to eat some food. We never seem to eat when we're together."

"I still can’t believe you and Michael know each other."

"Isn’t it weird? That’s one of the reasons I came to see you. Michael and I were talking about the last time I was here. I came down on you pretty hard, Dad, and I wanted to apologize."

"Julianna, you have nothing to apologize for. You had every right to question me the way you did."

"I accused you of a lot of very bad things."

"And, unfortunately, many of them were true."

"I...I want you to know that when I told you that I love you and that I accept you as my father, I wasn’t putting on a show for your parents. I meant what I said."

"I never doubted it, sweetheart," he said, stroking her curly hair. "I’ve learned that you don’t say things unless you mean them and that you definitely mean what you say. You are sooo much like your mother, it scares me. But it gives me a lot of comfort, too."

Julianna laughed. "When Mama’s upset with me, she says I’m just like my father. That used to bother me, but now, if Mama should say that to me, I think it will make me happy."

A.J. laughed. "I think it will depend on why your mother is saying that. She knows my very bad traits, and I’m sure she’s hoping you haven’t inherited them."

"Have you noticed any of your characteristics, good or bad, in me?" Julianna asked, sincerely wanting to know.

"Well, there’s no mistaking your eyes."

"I know. People compliment me about my eyes. I used to hate it, but it’s something else I’m learning to appreciate."

"I’m happy to say I think you’ve inherited all of your mother’s wonderful traits. A little stubbornness, but between your mother and me, I think there was no way you could avoid that one."

"I know! When Mama accuses me of being stubborn, I tell her she’s stubborn, too, but she doesn’t listen to me. Mama blames that part of my nature on you."

A.J. smiled. "I’m not surprised. Your mother will always stand up for what she believes in. And if Keesha thinks I’m to blame, well, I’m afraid we can’t argue with her."

"Daddy," Julianna said, her voice breaking, "what are we going to do if Mama doesn’t get a new liver?"

A.J. saw his daughter’s eyes start to mist, and a second later, he was holding her in his arms. "I can’t stop thinking about it," she said, drawing strength from her father.

"I know, Julianna. I think about it all the time, too. We can’t give up hope, and we can’t let your mother see how worried we are."

"I try not to," Julianna said, "but sometimes it’s hard, especially when I know Mama isn’t feeling well."

"Is your mother not feeling well?" A.J. asked, alarmed.

"Mama said she needs to get more rest."

Julianna lifted her head and looked at her father.

"Mama wants to be with you more. Can you spend the day with us tomorrow?"

"Sure. I have one thing I need to do in the morning, but after that, I can come by. Would that work?"

"That would be nice," she said.

She wanted to smile but instead she yawned.

"C’mon, sweetheart. I’m taking you home."

*~*

When they arrived at Dara and Justus’ house, Julianna noticed her mother’s light was still on.

"Mama must be waiting up for me."

"I’d like to go inside with you. To make sure everything is all right."

Julianna nodded.

They entered the house and walked down the hallway towards the guest room Keesha was using. Julianna peeked in and saw that her mother was awake.

"Hi."

"Hey. How was the movie? And how was your visit with your father?"

"Both were great. We saw your light on so Dad asked if he could come in. He’s here."

Julianna hid a smile as she noticed her mother sitting up straighter in the bed and quickly finger combing her hair.

"Tell him to get in here."

Julianna turned and smiled at her father. "You heard Mama. She wants to see you."

"And I better not keep her waiting, right?"

Julianna giggled. Keesha wanted to know what was so funny. Father and daughter shared a knowing look, and then A.J. said goodnight to her.

"I can't believe you two are keeping secrets from me," Keesha accused A.J.

But there was no malice in her tone.

"Julianna and I did a little note comparing tonight, that’s all."

Keesha eyed him skeptically but didn’t press. A.J. laughed.

"Keesha, I can tell you right now that I will never, ever get tired of hearing our daughter call me ‘Dad.' I don’t think there’s a more wonderful word in the dictionary."

"I’m so happy for you," Keesha said. "I really am. Sit down," she said, motioning to the chaise lounge near her bed. "You look beat."

"I am," he admitted, leaning back and stretching out his legs. "It’s been a long day. How come you’re still awake? I hope you weren’t worried about Julianna."

"No," Keesha said, pretending to straighten the bed covers, "I knew she was with you. She called and told me."

"And?" A.J. asked.

He sat up and stilled her hands by covering them with his own.

"And what?" she asked, not looking at him.

"And why was your light still on, Ms. Ward?" he teased.

She gave him a sheepish look. "I did that on purpose," she admitted. "I was hoping it would get you inside so I could see you."

"Keesha Ward, you did not have to resort to such underhanded tactics."

He laughed when she looked properly chastised.

"You could’ve told our daughter you wanted to see me."

Keesha’s brow furrowed. "Julianna’s already giving me strange looks. I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire."

"She knows anyway. I’m here, aren’t I?"

Keesha gazed at him with adoring eyes. "Yes, you are here, A.J. And I have a big favor to ask you."

"Ask me anything," he said, leaning in closer while continuing to hold her hands.

"If you wouldn’t mind sleeping on that chaise lounge, could you stay with me tonight? Please?"

A.J. tenderly stroked Keesha’s satiny cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"I’d be happy to stay with you, sweetheart. There’s no other place I’d rather be."

As a comfortable silence filled the room, they found themselves inching closer to each other until their mouths finally came together for a kiss that spoke loudly and fervently of their awakened and renewed intensity for each other. A.J. held Keesha close as she arched forward to taste more of him when he began to probe her mouth with his tongue. He continued to savor the feel of being able to touch her, to caress her, to make her moan with pleasure as they both satisfied a need that was growing deeper.

When they finally broke apart, Keesha kept her arms draped around A.J.'s shoulders. She couldn't stop smiling. He made her happy. Very happy. He returned her smile and then cupped her chin with the palm of his hand while kissing her once more with an urgency he knew they both felt and could not and did not want to restrain.

"I could so easily get used to this," Keesha told him, her voice soft against his ear in the quiet of the night.

"I have news for you, Keesha," he whispered against her neck. "I already *am* used to this."

"I think I am, too," she said and grinned.

She reached for his hand and held it in her own as she laid her head back on her pillows and sighed contentedly after A.J. had delighted her with one more kiss and then assured her he would be there when she woke up in the morning.

She hadn't heard such comforting words in a very long time.

Chapter 37

A.J. awoke early the next morning, surprised to see Keesha sitting up in bed staring at him.

"Good morning," he said, tossing back the covers and moving to a sitting position on the makeshift bed.

"Morning," she returned, her voice soft.

"Were you watching me sleep?" he asked, a teasing glint in his eyes.

Keesha held up her right hand and smiled unabashedly. "Guilty as charged, Mr. Quartermaine. And may I say you looked absolutely adorable."

He laughed and then returned her smile. "You're in good spirits."

"I guess I am," she agreed. "I slept very well. Thank you for staying with me. I liked knowing you were here."

"I'm glad I could help," he said sincerely.

"Did you sleep okay?" she asked.

"I slept just fine. I was so tired I think I could've slept standing up."

He rose from the chaise lounge and stretched his muscles.

"All I need is a cup of strong coffee and a hot shower, and I'll be fully awake."

"I hope you're not rushing off."

"Unfortunately, I am," he said, his voice conveying his disappointment.

"Why?"

"I have to give a command performance at my parents' house."

"You talked to them?" Keesha asked, surprised.

"I went to visit my grandparents at the cemetery. Dad showed up. He almost scared me to death. Literally. We went back to the hotel and did some more talking. I'm not really sure what's going on, Keesha, but I need to try to make peace with my mom."

"What about your father?"

"I want to make peace with him, too, or at least come to some kind of a truce, but whether that will be possible, I have no idea."

"Come back here when you're through."

"I plan to. Julianna extended your invitation last night. I'd love to spend the day with you and our daughter."

"We'd love it, too," she assured him with a smile.

He hated leaving her, especially so early in the morning, but after giving her a lingering good-bye kiss, he told her he would see her soon.

*~*

After returning to his hotel room to freshen up, A.J. arrived at the mansion as scheduled. Reginald admitted and ushered him into the living room where the usual breakfast buffet awaited.

"Some things never change, hey, Reg," A.J. said and laughed.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Quartermaine."

Reginald rolled his eyes as he left the room.

A.J. shrugged and after pouring a cup of coffee, he helped himself to an apple danish. He had just taken a seat on the couch when his parents walked in.

"Good morning," he said, rising to greet them.

He warmly embraced his mother and nodded towards his father.

"I'm happy you're here, A.J.," Monica said, sitting next to him on the sofa.

Alan sat on the arm.

"I know you're upset with me, too," A.J. acknowledged. "I want to try to make things right between us. All of us."

"Even though your reason for returning to Port Charles wasn’t to see us?"

Monica couldn't keep the hurt from her voice.

"Yes. I admit I had serious reservations about contacting you and Dad, even though I was in town, but thanks to my daughter, we are in touch. You probably know Dad and I talked last night. We didn't come to any agreements but, Mom, I am deeply sorry that I never called you after I left. A lot of it was my stupid pride, but some of it was genuine anger, too. I honestly wasn't sure I could be civil to you, and especially to Dad, if I did call. And I didn't want to use any sort of a confrontation as an excuse to start drinking again. I was scared. I was afraid we would get into an argument and that would make me turn to alcohol. I was still struggling a lot with my newfound sobriety and, believe me, it wouldn't have taken much for me to fall off the wagon. I really wanted to change. For myself. Not for anybody else. That's why I didn't come back, and that's why I didn't call. I wish I could have been stronger, but I wasn't. Can you forgive me?"

"That's my goal, A.J. I want to be able to forgive you. Totally and completely. I understand what you're saying. I do. But you need to realize what your father and I went through after you left."

"Tell me," A.J. said, sincerely wanting to hear his mother's side of the events that had occurred.

"It's true I didn't stop your father from throwing you out of this house, but that didn't mean I agreed with his decision. If you remember correctly, you know I tried to get everyone to calm down that night and listen to reason. I wanted us to work out our differences, especially where Jason and Courtney were concerned. I was angry with Alan for a long time, especially when the days turned into weeks and we had no word from you. A.J., I tortured myself wondering where and how you were. I couldn't keep the thought at bay that maybe you were lying hurt somewhere unable to ask for help or even worse, that maybe you were...dead. It's a parent's worst nightmare, and now that you have a daughter, I hope you can appreciate the hell your father and I went through."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I really am. Those first few weeks, I wasn't thinking coherently, if at all. It wasn't until after I'd been through detox and had started to feel somewhat better that I realized I hadn't been in touch with anybody. I knew you must have been worried. The only ones I felt even remotely safe contacting were Skye and Emily. And even then, my counselor was with me when I made the phone calls, so that he could monitor my reaction."

"Shouldn't he have encouraged you to call your parents?" Alan asked.

A.J. looked at his father. "He said the decision was up to me, and I did what I could handle."

"You mean to tell me that in eleven years, you never felt ready to contact us?!" Alan asked, incensed.

A.J. stood and crossed to stand near the fireplace. "The honest answer is no, I didn't. Yesterday, before Keesha, Julianna and I came here, I went to three AA meetings. I can tell you the last time I'd had to do that. It was when I found out that Grandmother was ailing and wasn't going to make it."

"A.J.," Monica said, looking at her husband before she rose to stand in front of her son. "You didn't have to go through that time alone."

"Yes, I did. Hearing about Grandmother's failing health was the first major threat I had experienced to my sobriety. To come back here would have been suicide. I'm sorry, but I will believe that until my dying day. I was trying to do the best I knew how, and I was trying to make sure the Manhattan Center became a bona fide success. I put all my efforts and all my energy into making sure I didn't fail. My project was starting to get noticed and influential people wanted to get on board with my vision. I had no room for error, but one night, after learning about Grandmother, I almost slipped. I hadn't been feeling well since Emily had called with the news, and I thought vodka would help. Where that thought came from I have no idea, but it got a hold of me and wouldn't let go. Instead of drinking, I called my counselor. He came to my apartment, took one look at me, and made arrangements to have me admitted to a hospital."

"A.J!" Monica exclaimed.

"It worked out, Mom. I needed the help. I needed to break the cycle of thinking I wanted a drink. But after that episode, I had to put thoughts of you and Dad and the rest of the family out of my mind. I just couldn't let myself concentrate on anything other than what I was trying to accomplish. Seeing my vision become a reality, and a successful reality at that, became my sole focus in life. I wanted my idea to work. I wanted to help people. If that makes me a bastard in your eyes or Dad's eyes or anyone else's eyes, then so be it. But what I'm saying is the truth. I don't need to tell lies and make up stories anymore. I will not minimize or try to gloss over how much damage I did when I was drinking, but I will not allow anyone to make me wallow in my past mistakes, without acknowledging that I have changed. Because I have."

"Yes, A.J.," Monica said, able to admit the truth when she saw it. "I can tell that you've changed. A lot. I saw it yesterday, and I am not trying to undermine you in any way. I just want you to understand that in the process of you changing your life, you left us twisting in the wind. Your father and I did not deserve that. Not for that length of time. And even now, if it weren't for your daughter, you said you probably wouldn't have contacted us. Can you acknowledge how much that hurts, A.J.? Can you try to understand what your father and I have endured as we tried to cope with the real possibility we would never see you again?"

"Yes," A.J. said, thinking about the lost years with his own daughter, "I do understand. And I am very sorry I caused so much hurt and disappointment. To you and to Dad. I'm also sorry I was never able to find a way to contact you without thinking it would cost me too much. Am I forgiven?"

"Yes," Monica said, pulling her son into a tight hug. "I forgive you, A.J., and I want you to know I am very proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom," A.J. said, looking at his father.

Alan was still unreadable to him, but he thought he caught a glimpse of something other than disdain coming from him.

"Dad?" A.J. asked, when Monica had released him. "Is there any chance you can forgive me?"

"I can't deny that you have changed," Alan said. "And I don't doubt your sincerity, but I do have a question for you."

"Ask me."

"Do you plan to stay in our lives, and are we going to be allowed to be in Julianna's life?"

*~*

"You survived!" Keesha said, when A.J. and Julianna walked into her room.

"I did," he acknowledged with a smile.

"Was it bad?" Julianna asked.

"No," he said, looking from his daughter to Keesha. "It actually went pretty well. We have an open invitation to visit any time. Your grandparents would like to get to know you, Julianna. And there is the bonus of having access to the pool, the tennis courts, the hot tub, the sauna..."

"What about the kitchen?" Julianna asked and then giggled.

"Ah, you’ll have to ask your mother about that."

Keesha shook her head at both of them, but then she laughed, too.

"It’s up to you, Julianna," she said, "but I would think twice, three times, four times before I stepped foot in the Quartermaine kitchen."

"I can give you a guided tour," A.J. offered.

"I think I’d like that," Julianna said sincerely. "It’s such a nice day. Let’s sit outside on the patio. I’ve set up a pitcher of iced tea and slices of a lemon bundt cake I made."

"Sounds good to me," A.J. said, looking at Keesha.

"I’d like to sit outside, too," she said. "I need the fresh air."

*~*

"You are such a wonderful hostess," A.J. said to his daughter once they had been seated and served.

"Thank you."

"When Julianna was little, she used to have the best tea parties in the neighborhood, didn’t you, honey?"

"Mama," Julianna said, embarrassed.

"Tell me about them," A.J. encouraged his daughter. "Please."

"All right," she said, not looking directly at either parent. "When I was six, I started a tradition. Once a month, on a Saturday, I used to invite three friends over for a tea party. They could bring one stuffed animal or one doll, but they couldn’t bring both. Mama would help me set up the family room with a table and chairs and some decorations, usually balloons. I called it a tea party, but we usually drank some kind of fruit punch and ate cookies or cupcakes. And then we would play together. It was fun."

"Everyone couldn’t wait for their turn to be invited," Keesha added. "And Julianna usually baked the treat herself."

"With your help."

"It sounds like a wonderful time," A.J. said.

"Yeah," Julianna said, thinking back to how much fun she used to have and how much her mother had always helped and encouraged her, "it was. It really was."

"So you’ve been baking and cooking since you were six?" A.J. asked.

"With Mama helping me. I didn’t start doing any cooking on my own until Mama got sick. But I would bake sometimes when I got home from school and surprise Mama with dessert when she got home from work."

"You’re so thoughtful," A.J. said, squeezing his daughter’s hand.

"We had a pretty good routine," Keesha said. "We would do a lot of the cooking on the weekends. I was fortunate to have a Monday through Friday schedule, unless I was called in to cover someone’s shift at the hospital. Julianna would get dinner started when she came home from school. There wasn’t much for me to do by the time I got home."

"Do you miss working at the hospital?" A.J. asked Keesha.

"Not really. In the beginning, I did, but then I got so sick, I knew there was no way I could even think about going back, so I didn’t let myself dwell on what couldn’t be. I just wanted to feel better and get well."

A.J. nodded in understanding. "Do you two miss Philadelphia?"

"I do," Julianna said. "I mean, I like it here, but it’s not our home. I love our house. And I miss my friends."

"It’s been nice to come back here," Keesha said. "It hasn’t been as bad as I had feared. But like Julianna said, this isn’t our home. You must feel the same way, A.J. Especially staying at the hotel."

"I do miss Manhattan and my apartment," A.J. acknowledged. "But I’m not sorry I came here. Yet," he added with a small laugh.

"You just have to stay out of trouble, Mr. Quartermaine," Keesha teased.

A.J. laughed. "I’m trying my best, Ms. Ward."

Julianna couldn’t help but notice the looks her parents were giving each other. If I weren’t sitting here, she thought, I bet they’d be kissing. After several moments had passed without conversation, Julianna decided to break the silence.

"Michael invited us to a barbecue."

Keesha and A.J. stopped gazing at each other and turned their attention towards their daughter.

"He did?" A.J. asked.

Julianna nodded. "Well, actually, he’s invited, too. His cousins’ parents are having a barbecue, and they’ve invited us. That’s what Michael said."

"Which cousins?" A.J. asked.

"Maxie and Georgie. Mac and Felicia are having the party."

"How nice," Keesha said. "When is it?"

"Tomorrow night."

Keesha frowned. "I think I’m going to pass. I want to make sure I can make dinner at Nikolas and Gia’s the following night. What about you, A.J.?"

"I think I’m going to have to say ‘no,’ too. But if you want to go, Julianna, I think you should."

"I agree," Keesha said. "It’ll be fun for you, sweetheart."

"Michael said Dara and Justus were invited, too. If they go, you’ll be by yourself, Mama."

Keesha and A.J. shared a look.

"Don’t worry about your mother," A.J. said, his eyes twinkling. "I’ll make sure she is definitely not alone."

Chapter 38

"Tom and I are looking forward to meeting your daughter tonight," Skye said to A.J. as she and Emily helped him decorate the suite for his evening with Keesha.

"I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to introduce you," he said. "I'm glad you guys will be at the barbecue."

"Brianna can't wait to see Julianna," Emily said. "We wish you and Keesha were going."

"Spending the evening here will be less stressful, I hope," A.J. said. "But I'm glad Julianna will have family and friends watching out for her."

"She will," Skye assured him.

"Is it okay if people know she's your daughter?" Emily asked.

"Yes," A.J. said. "I think it's fine if she chooses to tell them."

"How does it feel," his sister asked, "to know that your daughter wants you in her life?"

"It's the best feeling," he said, beaming at both Emily and Skye.

Emily returned his smile.

"I know how devastated you were about Michael," she said. "Not just when you found out he wasn't your son, but ever since he was born. I also know I wasn't very supportive of you with regard to Michael when you were trying to be in his life."

"It's okay, Em," A.J. assured his sister. "I know you had your loyalties and your reasons. I'm the one who messed up. I didn't give anyone a reason to support me. I know that now."

"Well, I just want you to know that I do support you and Julianna. And Keesha. I think it's great you two have found each other again. And if these decorations are any indication..."

Emily and Skye looked around at the strategically placed candles, that for the moment were unlit, and bouquets of red, pink, yellow, and white roses that filled the room.

"I want to do something special for Keesha," A.J. said.

The two ladies winked and nodded at each other and then Emily looked at her watch.

"I hate to cut out on you guys, but I gotta go. Bri and Brian are at the mansion. I need to get them cleaned up in time for the barbecue."

"No problem," A.J. said. "Thanks for all your help."

"You're welcome," Emily said, giving her brother a hug. "If Brianna hasn't already told them, is it okay if I tell Mom and Dad that Julianna will be at Mac and Felicia's? Maybe they'll stop by."

"It's okay to tell them. I'll let Julianna know."

"Great." Emily couldn't help but grin. "Enjoy your evening with Keesha. See you later, Skye."

After Emily left, Skye continued working on the decorations while A.J. confirmed his dinner menu with the hotel chef.

"Even though I don't know her, I can see that Keesha is one lucky lady," Skye said approvingly.

"No, Skye," A.J. quickly corrected. "I'm the one who's *very* fortunate."

"Since you're okay with Emily telling Alan and Monica about Julianna being at the barbecue, I take it things went well?"

"They did. I'm okay with where we are right now. I think they are, too."

"What about the Jason factor?"

A.J.'s expression turned serious. "You know, Skye, I've decided not to dwell on him anymore. I was doing great in that department until I found out about Julianna. So many insecurities about being a parent, being a good father and comparing myself to Jason came flooding back to me. I had to stop and remind myself that I can't change the way anyone feels about my brother as opposed to me, so what's the point? Julianna is my daughter, and I love her. We're trying to build a relationship. One of my main problems when Michael was a baby was that I talked about him as if he were a possession. Something that was mine. That I could present as a trophy. It wasn't the way I felt, not deep down inside, but that's how I thought he needed to be viewed and how I needed to be viewed in order to gain my family's respect and support.

"I did not agree with the way Jason and Carly handled the situation, and I definitely did not agree with what Jason was doing, but I have to give him credit for two things. One, I know he loved Michael. That was the bottom line for him. Two, he saw Michael as a person, as a human being in his own right. I know everyone thought I wanted Michael just because Jason had him and then Sonny, but I believed he was my son, and I wanted to be in his life. I made so many mistakes, Skye. I don't want to make those same mistakes with Julianna."

"I doubt you will," Skye said, her voice soft.

"Maybe not, but I know I will make some because I'm human. But the one thing I will not stand for is her feeling second best to anyone because of my family. That is an absolute. My family can feel any way they care to about me, but when it comes to Julianna, I will not allow it. At all. Period."

Skye smiled at A.J. "Julianna is one young girl who I can tell is loved very much. By both her parents. I can't wait to tell her how terrific I think her father is."

*~*

"I'm a little nervous about tonight," Julianna admitted to her parents.

"Why?" Keesha asked.

"Because I won't know hardly anyone."

"Dara and Justus are going to be there," Keesha said.

"Emily and her family will be there, too," A.J. added. "Emily said Brianna is looking forward to seeing you. Skye plans to introduce herself and Tom to you. Your grandparents might be there, too."

"What about the people I don't know?" Julianna asked.

"I'm sure Michael will make you feel comfortable," Keesha said. "And I think his grandmother Bobbie will be there. She and Felicia are very good friends, at least they were."

"I think they still are," A.J. said.

Julianna frowned as she looked from her mother to her father.

"What is it, sweetheart?" A.J. asked.

"I...I wanted to ask you if it would be okay, like say Brooke Lynn is there, can I tell her that she and I are cousins? Can I say you're my father?"

"Yes," A.J. said and smiled at his daughter. "It's your call, Julianna. If you feel comfortable letting people know I'm your father, I'm fine with that. Does that sound okay, Keesha?"

"Yes," she agreed. "I think it would be good for you to tell those you feel comfortable with."

"I don't want it to be a big deal," Julianna rushed to tell them, "but I also don't want it to be something I'm hiding."

Both parents assured her they trusted her judgment. When Dara peeked in and said they were ready to leave, Keesha and A.J. wished their daughter a wonderful time and told her to have fun.

*~*

From his vantage point in the living room, Michael spotted Julianna the moment she arrived with Dara and Justus. He wasted no time crossing the room to greet her.

"Hey! I’m glad you made it."

"Hi, Michael," she said, her eyes darting across the room at all the unfamiliar faces.

"Looks like everyone who lives in PC is here," Justus said with a laugh.

"There are more people in the backyard, too," Michael told them.

"Shall we head outside?" Justus asked.

"Sure," Dara said.

"If it’s okay, I’ll introduce Julianna to some people in here, and then we can join you."

"Okay."

Dara and Justus were headed for the backyard when Mac saw them and said "hello." He gave Dara a kiss on her cheek and shook hands with Justus.

"I heard Keesha’s daughter was coming," Mac said. "I’d like to meet her."

"She’s here," Dara told him. "Julianna is standing next to Michael. It looks like he’s introducing her to Maxie and Georgie."

"I’ll go introduce myself," Mac said. "Drinks and snacks are outside and so is Felicia."

Mac arrived just as Georgie was introducing Julianna to her fiancé Dillon.

"Nice to meet you," Dillon said.

"And I want to introduce myself," Mac said. "I’m Mac Scorpio, your host for this evening. My wife Felicia is outside. I know she’s looking forward to meeting you."

"Hi. I’m Julianna Ward."

"I’m so glad you could come. I’m sorry your mom and A.J. couldn’t make it."

"My mom has to take it easy. But they send their regards to everyone."

"A.J.?" Dillon spoke up. "As in A.J. Quartermaine?"

"That’s the one," Julianna answered.

"He’s here in Port Charles?"

"Yes. He’s here with my mom and me."

"Cool. I’ve heard of him, but we’ve never met. He’s my cousin."

Julianna looked at Michael who, with an overt nod, encouraged her to say whatever was on her mind.

"Well, then," she said quickly before she lost her nerve, "that means you and I are related, too."

*~*

Keesha’s eyes lit up with pleasure and excitement when A.J. escorted her into his suite and she saw how lovely it was decorated. She inhaled the sweet aroma of the roses and smiled.

"You did all this for me?"

"Well, I did have some help," A.J. confessed.

"But still. This was your idea?"

"Yes, it was."

"I love it, A.J. I really do."

Keesha helped him light the candles, and then they sat down on the divan. A.J. poured each of them a glass of sparkling cider and handed one to Keesha.

"I would like to propose a toast to you and to our daughter," A.J. said. "Thank you, Keesha, for raising Julianna to be so loving and caring and yet independent and strong, too. I see all of your amazing qualities in her, and I know that means she will be okay in this world."

"Don’t forget she’s inherited your amazing qualities, too."

A.J. laughed. "I don’t know what amazing qualities I have, but whatever they are, I hope those are the *only* ones she has inherited."

"I see a lot of you in her," Keesha insisted. "And as she got older, it was that much more difficult not to tell you she was your daughter. I wanted you to see her, A.J. I wanted you to know you had a daughter. But Julianna was so insistent that I not tell you, to the point of defiance. I would get upset with her, but when she would let her guard down, I saw how scared she was, and I would relent. I tried to find out why she was so fearful, but she would clam up. I couldn’t get a word out of her."

"It’s okay, Keesha. We’re in each other’s lives now. That’s all that matters."

"Do you think she’s doing okay at the barbecue? How do you think people will react if she does tell them you’re her father?"

"I believe our daughter is having a great time. I’m sure there will be gasps of shock and questions people will want to ask, but maybe some of them have suspected it, too."

"I wondered about that after seeing the questioning look on Bobbie’s face when she met us at the hospital."

"I have a confession to make. When I found out Julianna was my daughter, a lot of my old insecurities that I thought I had buried a long time ago, resurfaced. I began to question whether I would make a good father. I even questioned whether I deserved to be in her life. I wanted to get to know her, but I also wanted to shield her from having to deal with the fact that she was my daughter. Especially from my family."

"After all you’ve accomplished, A.J., why would you have those kinds of thoughts?"

"Because of Jason," he admitted honestly. "When Carly married me and then became pregnant by Sonny, everyone in my family knew the baby wasn’t mine. Do you know how that made me feel? Yes, part of it was because we lived with them and they saw our marriage for the sham it was, but another part of it, the bigger part, was that they *wanted* the baby Carly was carrying to be Jason’s, even though she was my wife."

"A.J., that’s horrible."

"But it’s also the truth. When we stepped into my parents’ home, I truly felt that they would be wishing it were Jason who had returned with Courtney and a child or two that they could fawn over. I feared how Julianna would be treated, and I vowed that she would never be considered second best by anybody, especially my family."

"You have to give Julianna the benefit of the doubt," Keesha said. "She’s smart, A.J., and she knows who she can trust. She can also take care of herself."

"I came to realize that very quickly, and that’s why I’m okay with her choosing to tell people she’s my daughter."

"Julianna loves you, A.J. I hope that’s enough for you."

"It is. Believe me, Keesha, knowing my daughter loves me and wants me to be in her life is more than I ever thought I would have. I will always be grateful to you and to our daughter. I hope you believe me. I don’t want you to feel guilty about *any* of the choices you have made."

Keesha nodded as she set her glass on the coffee table in front of her.

"I’m letting more and more of it go every day," she assured him. "I’m very grateful for the way things are working out. As much as Julianna was scared to have you in her life, I was just as frightened. You could’ve hated me, A.J., and you could’ve made our lives miserable. Thank you for being so understanding."

A.J. set his glass on the table and drew Keesha into the comfort of his strong arms. He kissed the top of her hair and then nestled her closer to him.

"I could never, ever hate you. You were the only friend I had when my world was crashing down around me. More than once. I will never forget all those times you were there for me. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me. But I also know I would’ve used you."

"I wouldn’t have let you use me. And believe *me* when I tell you that I have never needed you more than I do right now, and you are here for me. So neither one of us needs to feel guilty, okay?"

"Okay," A.J. agreed.

And then, by mutual agreement, they sealed their conversation with a slow, passionate, lingering kiss.

*~*

"Are you having a good time?" Skye asked Julianna.

She and Tom sat at one of the picnic tables with Julianna and Michael. Michael was enjoying his ribs; Julianna had taken several bites of her hamburger.

"Yes, I am. My father has told Mama and me about you and Tom. I’m glad we finally got to meet."

"We are, too," Skye assured the young girl. "You are every bit as lovely as your father told us you were."

Julianna lowered her eyes. "Thank you."

Just then, Brianna ran up to Julianna and began tugging on her arm.

"C’mon, Julianna. We’re gonna play hide and seek, and we want you to find us."

"Sweetie," Skye said, "Julianna hasn’t finished eating."

"Oh," Bri said, backing away. "Sorry."

"It’s okay," Julianna said, Brianna’s crestfallen face getting to her. "I’m full. I can eat more later."

"Really?" Brianna said, her dark eyes lighting up. "You’ll play with us?"

Julianna laughed. "Sure. Why not?"

Brianna grabbed her hand and began to race. "There’s about ten of us to find."

"Ten?!" Julianna exclaimed. "Michael! Help me!"

Skye and Tom laughed as Michael shook his head.

"I never get to finish a meal when I’m with her. What is up with that?"

*~*

"That was delicious," Keesha said, as A.J. poured her a cup of hot tea. "How did you know I’d been wanting filet mignon?"

"I didn’t, but when I saw it on the menu, I remembered how much you liked it. I checked the entire menu with Ellen, and she said you could eat the food I had selected and to enjoy it."

"I did. Every morsel, down to the last crumb of my New York style cheesecake. Thank you, A.J. This has been a perfect evening."

"You’re welcome. It’s been perfect for me, too."

"We’ve been having a great time keeping things light throughout dinner, but there is something serious I need to tell you."

"Go ahead."

"After talking with Julianna and Justus, I’ve added a codicil to my Will."

"Regarding me?"

Keesha nodded. "I’ve added a stipulation that if Julianna decides to be with you, at any time while she is still a minor, she will be allowed to live with you. Dara and Justus understand, and they won’t stand in her way."

"You know I would love to have our daughter with me, but what I really want, Keesha, is for you to pull through this."

"I know. But I have to make sure my affairs are in order, just in case."

A.J. nodded. "You amaze me, Keesha Ward. I’m very thankful I have this chance to be with you again."

"What did you think when you received my letter? You never told me."

"My first thought was that I was too shocked to think."

They shared a laugh.

"But once I realized the letter really was from you, memories like you wouldn’t believe came flooding back. I was truly overwhelmed. I remembered your passion for causes, and I thought, even hoped, that maybe you wanted to be a part of the Center I want to build in Philadelphia. When I arrived on your doorstep that day, that’s pretty much what I had on my mind. Plus, the whole idea of seeing you again after so many years did cause me to be a little apprehensive. But when that door opened, my life changed forever. And I knew you had sent me your letter for an entirely different reason."

"I’m so grateful you came to us, A.J."

"How could I not?" he asked, his voice husky with emotion. "You always gave to me, Keesha. You never took. How could I not honor the one request you ever made of me?"

"One request?" Keesha teased.

"Yes."

"Well, then, is it okay if I make another?"

"Make as many as your heart desires."

"Play some soft romantic music, A.J., and then dance with me. Please?"

*~*

"Julianna fits right in with everyone, doesn’t she?" Bobbie asked Monica as the two women helped Felicia clean up.

"It seems that way," Monica said, her voice wistful.

"What?" Bobbie asked. "I saw her talking to you and Alan earlier, so I just assumed..."

"No, she was fine with us. She’s such a darling girl. I just wish we could spend more time with her."

"What’s stopping you? Ask her out to lunch or to shop. Invite her over."

"I did, but I know Keesha is her first priority. She doesn’t want to commit to anything she might not be able to do."

"I know Keesha has a standing appointment with Ellen on Tuesday mornings. But other than that..."

"She said she would let me know. I think she wants to make sure Keesha is okay or that Keesha will be able to come."

"I think her reasons are legitimate. If she can do it, I bet she will spend more time with you."

"I hope you’re right. I really want to get to know my granddaughter. I think she’s a wonderful young girl."

"That’s the consensus," Emily said, joining the other ladies in the kitchen.

"Was there much talk about Julianna being A.J.’s daughter?" Monica asked, concern in her voice.

"Not that I heard. I think some people suspected."

"I started thinking that, too," Monica said.

"Mommy!" Brianna yelled, coming out of the family room. "You should hear Julianna. She’s singing to us!"

The adults converged on the family room and heard the dulcet tones coming from Julianna. She was entertaining the group of kids with songs she remembered when she was their ages. No one was more in awe of her talent than Michael.

"You’ve been holding out on me," he told her when they were alone.

"I didn’t mean to start singing," she confessed. "It just sorta came out when I heard the kids."

"You have a lovely voice," he complimented her.

"Thank you."

"You should talk to Brooke Lynn. It’s too bad she couldn’t be here. She might have signed you to a contract on the spot."

"I don’t want that!" Julianna said, horrified. "I sing purely for pleasure. It’s not what I want to do with my life."

"But if you have such a magnificent, God-given talent," Michael reasoned, "shouldn’t you share it with the world?"

*~*

"This has been wonderful," Keesha said.

She sighed contentedly as A.J. held her in his arms while they swayed to the soft jazzy beat of the music.

"I agree."

"But," she said, her tone conveying her disappointment, "I should be heading back to the house. I’m getting tired, and I want to make sure I can go to dinner tomorrow night."

"Then to the house you shall go."

They danced until the song ended, and then Keesha pulled back to look into A.J.’s compassionate eyes.

"One more request, if I may?"

"Of course you may."

"Stay with me again tonight?"

He smiled and cupped her face with his hands. "I’ll gladly grant you that request, Ms. Ward."

As Keesha continued to stare into his eyes, it took every ounce of her willpower not to tell him just how much she had fallen in love with him. Again. Or maybe still. It wouldn’t be fair, her mind cautioned, if she could never follow through after making such a declaration. But just because she determined not to utter the words at this particular time didn’t make them any less true. Would he ever know, she mused, and what would he do or say if she ever did get a chance to tell him?

Chapter 39

After spending most of the day with Julianna and Keesha, A.J. returned to the hotel to get ready for dinner at Nikolas and Gia's. About to leave the suite, he spotted Edward's letter on the counter. Folding the pages to return them to the envelope for safekeeping, A.J. remembered the one-page note he had not previously read. His eyes quickly scanned the familiar handwriting. After reading the words one more time slowly and deliberately, a perplexed and agitated A.J. stuffed the paper inside the envelope.

"*Why* did you have to do this, Grandfather?" he asked rhetorically and then sighed heavily. "You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?"

A.J. reached for his cell phone to call Keesha.

"I have to make a phone call before I pick up you and Julianna. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. You sound upset. Is everything all right?"

"Not really. Remember the letter I told you my grandfather wrote to me?"

"Yes."

"I was putting it away, and I found another note I had seen but hadn't bother to read. Well, I just read it. You will not believe what I have to do."

"What is Edward making you do, A.J.?"

"His note stipulates that I have to get in touch with Ned. He has some important information for me."

"Do you have to do that tonight?"

"Now that I know about the note, I want to take care of whatever this is right away. I hope you understand."

"I do. I just don't want your night to be ruined."

"It won't," he assured her. "This will be the briefest conversation on record. I plan to be with you and our daughter within the hour."

"Good luck, A.J.," Keesha said sincerely.

"Thanks. I *know* I'm gonna need it."

A.J. didn't have Ned's phone number, but he got it from a shocked Emily, who couldn't believe her brother was actually going to call Ned.

"I can't believe I'm about to do this either."

"What's it all about?"

"I wish I knew, Em. Grandfather set this up. I just want it to be over."

"Call me if you need me."

"Thanks."

After punching in the numbers, A.J. cleared his throat and wore a path in the plush beige carpet as he waited for Ned or Alexis to answer the phone. When he finally heard his cousin's voice, he almost hung up.

"Hello?" Ned said for the second time, sounding impatient.

"Ned, this is A.J."

Silence passed between the line as A.J. waited for a response.

"Let me guess," Ned said. "You read Grandfather's note."

"Yes, I did."

"I heard you were in town. I wondered whether I would actually hear from you."

"I don't know what this is all about, but I don't want anything hanging over my head where you're concerned. So if you'll kindly tell me what Grandfather is talking about in his note..."

"Calm down, Junior."

A.J. started to bristle at his cousin's dismissive tone and then caught himself. Ned would not upset him. A.J. would not allow him to.

"What did Grandfather do?" A.J. asked.

"Something very nice, actually, considering the circumstances," Ned said. "But this isn't something we can talk about on the phone. Alexis and I need to see you."

"Why you and Alexis? What does Alexis have to do with any of this?"

"She helped Grandfather with something he wanted to do. If you can come to the house, we'll explain everything."

"I have a dinner engagement. How long will this take?" A.J. asked, suspicious.

"Not that long. It's not going to cause you any pain."

Having to be in Ned and Alexis' presence didn't exactly fill A.J. with joy.

"Fine. Are you available now? Give me directions to your place, and I'll be there soon."

In less than fifteen minutes, A.J. had arrived at Ned and Alexis' house. Their reunion was an awkward one, even if he could admit that his cousin and Alexis looked happy and in love. Grateful the quips were kept to a minimum, A.J. followed Alexis into the dining room where he saw a manila folder with his name on it. She put on her glasses and sat next to him at the cherry wood table.

"I know you're in a hurry," she began, "but this won't take long."

Ned took a seat next to his wife. They glanced at each other; Alexis nodded.

"A.J.," Ned began, "Alexis and I, we...we know about Julianna."

"Grandfather told you?" A.J. asked, sounding incredulous.

Ned nodded.

"Why?" A.J.’s tone demanded an answer.

"Because he wanted to take care of his great-granddaughter," Alexis explained. "And you and Keesha, too."

"How was he going to take care of us? And why did he come to you? I thought Justus handled his affairs?"

"Most of them," Ned acknowledged. "But Grandfather was thrilled to learn you had a daughter, A.J. I think he wanted someone else in the family to know the news."

"So he chose to tell you?!" A.J. exclaimed.

"We haven’t said a word to anyone," Alexis assured a seething A.J.

"Let’s get this over with," A.J. said, his blood pressure rising. "What did Grandfather say to you?"

Alexis slid the file folder in front of A.J.

"Read it for yourself. It’s all there in black and white. Maybe you’ll understand better why Edward chose to confide in Ned and me."

After casting a suspicious glance in their direction, A.J. sat back in the chair and opened the file. It turned out his grandfather had several more surprises for him.

"Julianna has a trust fund?"

"Yes, she does," Alexis confirmed. "She will get what Edward stipulated to starting when she’s eighteen."

"Julianna has a position waiting for her at ELQ, too," Ned said, "if she wants it. You and your daughter also have a place on the Board of Directors if either of you wants it."

"I can’t believe this," A.J. said, truly stunned. "Grandfather took care of everything, right down to making monthly donations to my Centers and providing anything Keesha needs."

"Grandfather wanted to make sure you and your family were well taken care of."

"I’ll have to think about this," A.J. said, running his fingers through his hair. "I haven’t taken one penny of the family’s money in a very long time. Considering that Grandfather was the one who cut me off to begin with..."

"He was very proud of you in the end, A.J."

"I don’t know if Keesha will want any of this. I have to tell her about this."

"The money is there, A.J.," Alexis said. "It will always be there. It’s for your daughter, Keesha and you."

Dazed, A.J. nodded and rose from the chair. "I have to think about this," he said, realizing he was repeating himself but still too stunned to say anything more coherent. "I have to talk to Keesha."

"The donations to your Centers will begin the moment you give us the word," Ned said. "And if Keesha needs anything..."

"I’ll be in touch," A.J. said, walking towards the front door.

"A.J.," Alexis said, catching up to him. "For better or worse, we are family, and you and Ned both have daughters. Brooke Lynn is here. Wouldn’t it be nice for her and Julianna to get to know each other as family? And when Kristina gets back from Greece, we’d like to get together with you and Keesha and Julianna. Don’t you think it’s time for Ned’s daughters and your daughter to get to know each other?"

*~*

"A.J., why are you so preoccupied?" Keesha asked.

They stood in the hallway waiting for Julianna.

"I have to tell you about my conversation with Ned, but it’ll have to wait until later."

"Was it that bad?"

"No, it wasn’t bad, just...shocking."

"I can’t wait to hear about it."

As soon as Julianna joined them, A.J.’s cell phone rang.

"Excuse me," he said, recognizing the number. "It’s Vincent. I’d better take this call."

"Of course," Keesha said.

"Hey, Vincent. What’s goin’ on?"

"I hate to bother you, A.J., but we have a situation brewing here in NYC."

"What’s the problem?"

"It’s a public relations nightmare."

"Can’t the PR department handle it?"

"They’ve been trying, A.J., but I’m afraid this needs your immediate attention. Is there any way you can come to Manhattan tonight or tomorrow?"

"This weekend?" he asked, looking at Keesha and Julianna. "To be honest, I’d rather not. Why don’t you tell me what the problem is? Maybe I can handle it from here."

"It concerns you, A.J., that’s why we really need you to be here."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you don’t do some quick and major damage control, boss, a New York Times reporter is ready to print a story in next Sunday’s edition claiming that the reason you have been MIA at the Center lately is because you’re back in rehab. And that your family is covering for you in Port Charles."

"What?!" A.J. yelled and then caught himself. "Look, I can’t discuss this right now. Tell Carol and Charlie to fax me everything they have on this to the Port Charles Hotel. Send me everything you can via e-mail, too. Tell Carol to try to set up a conference call, a video one if possible, for tomorrow with this so-called reporter. I want to know what caused this person to target me. Is it a man or a woman?"

"It’s a woman, and she’s claiming every time she’s asked you for an interview, you’ve declined or been suddenly unavailable."

"Have the PR department send me everything they can on this person. Find out if those allegations are true, and if they are, why was I shielded from this person? This is the last thing I need, Vincent."

"I know, but the truth will win out, right? I mean, it has to."

"We can only hope."

*~*

"You’re going to be up all night, aren’t you?" Keesha asked A.J. as he drove them to Nikolas and Gia’s house.

"I hope not. I want to believe it’s just a misunderstanding that can be cleared up without too much time and effort on my part."

"Did you know that your PR department wasn’t telling you about all the interviews?" Julianna asked.

"My staff does a good job at keeping things reasonable for me. I know we don’t honor every request, but I don’t know why this particular reporter from the New York Times would be on their ‘grant no interviews’ list."

"And that’s why you’ll be up all night," Keesha said. "Because you have to get to the bottom of this, A.J. You cannot let *anyone* think for a moment you’ve been in rehab this whole time."

"I’ll take care of it," he said, squeezing her hand. "Believe me, I will."

*~*

"Your house is beautiful," Keesha gushed, after Nikolas and Gia and the children gave them the grand tour.

"Thank you," Gia said and smiled.

"It’s not Wyndemere," A.J. said, "but then again, I doubt you would want it to be, right?"

"What’s Wyndemere?" Julianna asked.

"Can we tell her, Papa?" Nikolas’ son asked his father.

"Yes, please, Papa," Sonya chimed in. "We have pictures and everything!"

Nikolas laughed. "Are you sure you want to know about Wyndemere?" he asked Julianna, his dark eyes teasing.

"Yes," she said and laughed. "It sounds intriguing."

"It is that," Gia said and shook her head.

"Come on," Sonya said, reaching for Julianna’s hand. "Nicky and I will tell you all about our grandfather’s home."

"And about our father’s horse Sheba, too!"

"Okay," Julianna said, letting the children lead her into their father’s den, where they knew they could sit on the floor near the fireplace and look at the photo albums as long as they didn’t disturb anything on his desk.

"They are so adorable," Keesha said.

"They’re very close to Stefan," Nikolas explained. "For which I’m grateful."

"So they spend a lot of time at Wyndemere?" A.J. asked.

"A fair amount," Gia said. "Enough so that they like talking about it, and it doesn’t spook them."

The adults had retreated to the living room and were making themselves comfortable.

"Keesha," Gia said, "I’m so happy I finally got to meet you. But I’m sorry about your illness."

"Thank you. It’s nice to meet you, too. Nikolas’ eyes just lit up when he talked about you and the children. I’m glad we could get together."

"And you," Gia said, turning her attention to A.J. "I can’t believe you didn’t keep in touch with us."

"I couldn’t, Gia. I’m sorry. I hope you understand."

"Yeah, I do," she said, her features softening into a smile. "Your daughter is so beautiful," she continued, directing her comment to Keesha and A.J. "Nikolas and I wondered how you were faring after the news about Sonny and Carly and then Michael’s paternity. We’re glad you came back, A.J., even if you don’t stay."

"Thanks."

"Even under the circumstances, Keesha, I hope you’re able to enjoy spending time with Dara and Justus," Nikolas said.

"I am. It’s been better than I thought it would be, but I have to be honest. Port Charles doesn’t feel like home. I miss Philadelphia. I hope to return to my house. One of these days."

"I talked to Ellen yesterday, but there’s no news, Keesha. I’m sorry."

"It’s not your fault, Nikolas. I understand it’s all about timing."

"Speaking of timing," Gia said, "I’d better check on dinner."

"I can help," Keesha offered.

"Thank you, but you sit there and relax. I have everything under control."

Just then the children came bursting into the living room, followed by Julianna, wanting to know if she could ride a horse with them some time.

"Do you ride, Julianna?" Nikolas asked.

"No, but Sonya said I could ride a calm horse."

"Starlight, Papa. Can’t Julianna ride her?"

"We have to get her used to the idea of being around horses first," he explained.

"Do you wanna?" Nicky asked, his dark eyes so much like his father’s pleading with her.

She smiled. "I’d like to try."

"After dinner," Nikolas said, "we’ll show Julianna the stables and the horses for just a little while."

"Then you come back and ride with us," Sonya said, clapping her hands together in delight.

"I’ll see if I can," Julianna said.

"C’mon," Nicky said, leading the charge. "We’ll show you pictures of Starlight. You’ll love her."

"That's great you're able to have horses on your property with enough room to ride. Maybe our daughter will become an equestrian," A.J. quipped.

Keesha laughed, but she couldn’t help but notice the worry on A.J.’s face. She wished there was something she could do to help him. Since she didn’t know what she could do to ease his stress, she squeezed his arm to let him know she was there for him. A.J. smiled to let her know he appreciated and understood the gesture.

*~*

Light conversation took place at the dining room table, which helped to keep the mood jovial.

"A little birdie told me you are a wonderful singer," Gia said to Julianna, halfway through the meal.

Julianna lowered her head in embarrassment.

"Was this little birdie at the barbecue last night?" Keesha asked.

Gia nodded and laughed.

"But seriously, I’d love to hear you sing."

"We would, too," Nicky and Sonya said in unison.

"No, please, don’t ask me," Julianna said. "I’m never singing in public again."

"Nikolas said you’re practically running L&B Records," A.J. said to Gia.

"I am, and I love every minute of it, except when I have to be away from my family."

"Do you travel much?" Keesha asked.

"More than I want to," Gia said. "But it’s exciting when we discover new talent."

"Brooke Lynn is learning more and more about the business," Nikolas said. "Gia’s going to have her do more of the traveling."

"Yes," Gia said. "I’m getting too old for this."

Nikolas laughed and affectionately rubbed his wife’s back.

"You’re not old," he said, giving her a kiss on her cheek.

"Some days I feel old," she said.

"I can relate to that," Keesha said, her voice more somber than she intended.

A.J. drew Keesha closer to him. She looked at him and smiled.

"What about you, Julianna?" Nikolas asked. "Do you think you’ll follow in your mother’s footsteps and become a nurse? I’ll make sure you have a job at GH if you do.  Or maybe you'll follow in your paternal grandparents' footsteps and become a doctor?"

"No way!" Julianna said, shaking her head in disgust.

The look of horror on her face made the adults laugh.

"Why so adamant?" Gia asked, her curiosity genuine.

"I admire my mother for becoming a nurse, but I don’t want anything to do with hospitals, doctors, Emergency Rooms, blood, needles. None of that gory stuff. My mother’s illness has just reinforced my distaste for anything to do with pain and sickness. I can’t stand any of it."

"And yet, you have to depend on all of that so your mother can get well," Gia said, understanding the irony of Julianna's feelings.

"Right. But once my mother is well, I never want to see a hospital again!"

"I understand," Nikolas said.

A.J. had a sudden flashback of Jason saying the same thing after the accident that had caused his brain damage and then another time after he had been shot. He didn’t allow himself to dwell on Jason’s words or how much his daughter had sounded like her uncle at that moment.

"Do you know what you might like to do for a career?" Gia asked.

"I want to work with children," Julianna said, looking at Nikolas and Sonya and smiling at them. "That much I do know."

"I think that’s wonderful," Gia said.

Nikolas quickly agreed.

"I can tell you that our children adore you," Gia said. "I can see it in their eyes."

"They are great kids," Julianna said, her voice wistful.

Nikolas and Sonya looked at each other and giggled.

"You hafta spend more time with us," Sonya declared.

"I’d like that," Julianna said, ruffling Nicky's dark hair with her slender fingers. "I’d like that very much."

*~*

After dinner, Gia stayed with Keesha and A.J. while Nikolas and the children escorted Julianna to the stables. They hadn’t been out there very long when the phone rang.

"Excuse me," Gia said.

"Of course."

She returned a moment later, looking concerned.

"I have to get Nikolas. That call is for him."

"Sure," A.J. said.

Gia raced to the stables and told her husband he had a phone call. A few minutes later, Nikolas hung up the phone and walked into the living room, looking very serious.

"What is it?" A.J. asked. "Is everything okay?"

"That was Ellen," Nik said. "She’s on her way to the hospital. A liver has just become available and, Keesha, you are the most likely candidate on the list to be a match."

Chapter 40

Keesha, A.J. and Julianna arrived at General Hospital in record time. Julianna had called Dara and Justus, who appeared shortly after with Keesha's bag. As soon as a baby-sitter could be arranged, Nikolas and Gia planned to be at the hospital.

Ellen greeted and led them to the room she had reserved for Keesha. Two nurses, two orderlies and a doctor, who was in a wheelchair, waited for them.

"This is Dr. Matt Harmon," Ellen said, unable to keep the pride from her voice. "He assists me with any liver transplant operation, and he just happens to be my husband."

"Hello," he greeted them.

"We're going to give you some privacy with Regina and Katie," Ellen said. "Then we need to run a few tests to see if you're a match."

"And if I am?" Keesha asked, finally voicing the question that had been plaguing her since Ellen's phone call.

"We get you ready for surgery," Ellen said. "I know that statement is over-simplified. I will answer all your questions once we know if you are a match, okay?"

Keesha nodded.

Ellen asked that the room be cleared except for the nurses. Julianna hugged and kissed her mother and told her she had a good feeling about all of this.

A.J. squeezed Keesha's hand and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Keesha reluctantly let go of his hand and watched him and their daughter leave the room.

A few minutes later, the orderlies wheeled Keesha to the lab for her tests. Julianna, A.J., Dara and Justus waited anxiously for her return. Nikolas and Gia caught up with them after Nikolas had spoken briefly to Ellen while the technician was working on Keesha.

"According to Ellen, everything is on track," Nik told them.

"Mama's going to be fine," Julianna said. "I don't know why I feel that way, but I do."

A.J. smiled at his daughter and told her to keep the positive thoughts flowing.

"Ellen asked me to tell you that you'll be able to stay with Keesha until she goes in to surgery if she's a match. We have a room set up for people who are waiting while the transplant surgery is taking place. It's equipped with long couches so you can sleep if you want to. There's a TV in there and all the snacks and beverages you want."

"That's pretty amazing," A.J. said. "I was expecting to have to sit on one of those hard plastic chairs for a few hours."

"Not for these kinds of operations. Ellen has thought of everything for this program."

*~*

Within the hour, the orderlies returned Keesha to her room. Julianna and A.J. stepped inside after Ellen told them they should know the results very soon.

"You rest, okay?" Ellen said, placing her hand on Keesha's shoulder.

She nodded.

"I still can't believe this is actually happening," Keesha said to her daughter and A.J., once they were alone. "I feel like I'm dreaming and any second I'll wake up in my bed."

"This is real, Mama," Julianna said, squeezing her hand. "You might be getting a new liver!"

Keesha looked at A.J., who noticed that idea didn't seem to be comforting her.

"I have so many questions," she finally said. "I thought I was prepared for this, but now I realize I'm not. The tests to determine if I'll be able to receive the liver were relatively simple, and yet, my life hangs in the balance. A big dose of reality hit me in the lab. This may be my only chance. What happens if it doesn't work?"

A.J. hated seeing Keesha torture herself when he knew she didn't have all the information she needed.

"Do you want me to get Ellen?" he asked. "I'll demand that she answer all your questions, whether or not you go in for surgery. You should know everything about what you're facing, Keesha. You shouldn't have to be guessing like this."

"No, it's okay," Keesha said. "I was just thinking out loud. I know Ellen will explain everything to me when the time is right."

*~*

Justus spotted Ellen walking briskly down the corridor holding a file folder in her hand. He thought he saw the beginnings of a smile on her face.

"You have the results?" Nikolas asked as soon as she got near enough to hear him.

"Yes."

She waved the file folder in the air.

"It's a go. I'm going to answer all of Keesha's questions and then get her ready for surgery. Matt is already preparing the operating room."

With broad smiles on their faces even as they knew there were risks involved, Dara and Justus hugged each other; Nikolas and Gia did the same.

"Keesha gets her second chance," Dara said to her husband, who continued to hold his wife in his arms.

"No one deserves it more," he said. "C'mon, Lil Bit. We know you can do this. We're all pulling for you."

*~*

Ellen entered Keesha's room and delivered the good news to her.

"Mama!" Julianna exclaimed. "The transplant is really going to happen!"

"That's wonderful news," A.J. said, looking at Keesha whose reaction concerned him very much.

"I'm going to answer all of your questions," Ellen said to Keesha, "and then the nurses will get you ready for surgery. You'll have some time to spend with your family in between. Okay?"

Keesha nodded.

Ellen pulled up a chair and sat next to her anxious patient's bed.

"Ask me whatever questions are on your mind."

"A while back, Dr. Williams mentioned that if I had a liver transplant, I'd have to be on anti-rejection medication immediately following the surgery."

"That's true. We get you started on that medication as soon as you come out of the operating room."

"How long do I have to take it?"

"In one form or another, you'll be on the medication the rest of your life."

"What...what if it doesn't work? What if my body rejects the new liver?"

"That could, and I should tell you, probably will happen. Your immune system won't recognize the new organ. It'll think it's a foreign body and will try to destroy it. That's why we start you on the medication as soon as the operation is over. Once the medication gets into your body, your immune system will realize what's happening and will accept the new liver. At least, that is always our hope and our goal."

"How long will I be in the hospital?"

"It varies, depending on how well and how soon you recover, but I would plan to be here at least two weeks following the surgery. Three weeks is not unreasonable, but hopefully, you will not have to be in the transplant recovery unit for that amount of time. That is where you will be taken after the surgery. Regina and Katie are two of my best nurses. They are very familiar with liver transplant operations, and they know how to monitor you and what to look for. You will have a nurse with you at all times the first few days of your recovery. There will be other nurses who will be with you. They all have experience in transplant surgery."

"Will my family be able to visit me?"

"Once you're coherent. You are going to be out of it for the first few days, Keesha, and we will be closely monitoring you. Your visitations will be very limited if they occur at all."

Keesha nodded. "I understand."

"The surgery itself will take anywhere from six to twelve hours, depending on how it goes once we get you on the operating table."

Keesha's body shuddered at the thought; Ellen immediately massaged her back to try to calm her.

"I know it's scary to hear the details of what you will be enduring, but this operation is your best chance of survival."

"I guess I'm having a hard time letting myself imagine that I will actually be in an operating room. Every time I've let myself think about having a transplant, I always stopped my mind before it could think about what I would have to endure. Hearing you talk about the operating room caused me to shiver. I've never let myself picture it, and now I'll be in there. Soon. I know that anything can happen on that table, too. I...I've been thinking about death a lot lately, for whatever reason. I'm afraid I'm not going to..." Keesha choked on the words but she had to get one of her utmost fears out in to the open. "I'm terrified I'm going to die on the operating table. What assurances can you give me that won't happen?"

"Mama!!" Julianna exclaimed, hating that her mother had been carrying around that horrible fear.

Now A.J. understood the terror he saw on Keesha's face at Nikolas' house and since she'd been in the hospital.

"It's a valid question, Julianna," Ellen explained. "I would question you not having that concern," she said, returning her attention to her patient. "You're right, Keesha. Anything can happen once you're on the operating table, but there are many things working in your favor. You have a top-notch medical team performing this surgery. I'm proud to say we know what we're doing and we have had successful transplant surgeries where the patients have gone on to live long, healthy, productive lives. You will be monitored at all times, at all times, while you are in the operating room and in the recovery unit. You will not be left alone, and the nurses will know how to take care of any need that may arise. This is what they are trained to do. The other biggest factor in your favor is you. You have managed to keep yourself as healthy as you could, under the circumstances, and I am pleased to say you are very strong right now and very ready to endure this operation. If I thought there was any weakness in your body or your mind that would hinder us or that would prevent you from having the best chance of survival, I would have bypassed you. Physically, you are in the best shape you can be. I also believe, despite the very normal fears and doubts you are expressing, you are mentally and emotionally ready as you ever will be to have this operation. Am I wrong? If I am, you need to tell me now."

"No," Keesha said, realizing she did want to have this operation, "you are not wrong. I do want this operation. I want this chance to have my life back and to be healthy again."

Ellen smiled and patted Keesha's arm. "That's what I thought, but I needed you to say it. Any other questions?"

"No. Let's get me prepared to receive a new liver."

"That's what I like to hear. I'm going to give Regina and Katie their instructions. They're going to take your vitals so we know everything is on track before we start, and then they'll start the sedation process. When they see that you are starting to relax but not going to sleep, they'll inform the anesthesiologist who will be in to talk with you. When he's answered any questions you may have, he'll complete your sedation, monitor you for a few minutes to make sure your heartbeat and breathing are normal, and then the orderlies will take you to the operating room."

"Will I see you again before I'm taken into surgery?"

"Yes. I'll be here with the anesthesiologist."

Keesha nodded and thanked Ellen for helping to put her at ease.

"No problem. Visit with your family while I get things organized."

"I'm guessing things will start to happen pretty fast," Keesha said, still not comfortable with what she was facing.

Uncertainty loomed before her and she didn't like it. Not one bit.

After A.J. left the room to give mother and daughter time alone, Julianna sat on the edge of Keesha's bed and held her hands. "Are you okay with this, Mama? I hate that you're scared."

"I'm okay," she tried to reassure her daughter. "I've just lived with this for so long. I let my mind go places it never should've been allowed to go."

"I love you so much," Julianna said, drawing her mother into a loving embrace. She never wanted to let her go. "I wish I could be with you in the operating room so I could tell you that everything will be okay. Because I believe it will be. I'm going to be sending you my positive, loving thoughts. Take my love for you with you into the operating room, okay? I'm always with you, Mama. Never forget that. Please."

"My beautiful daughter," Keesha said, hugging her tightly to her. "I don't want you to ever forget how very much you mean to me. I love you so much, Julianna. I want only the best for you. Never let anyone take away your dreams, baby girl. And always be true to yourself. I know there are great things in store for you, sweetheart, and I want you to experience every last one of them. Never, ever, ever forget how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You'll always be with me, Julianna. Wherever I am. You'll be there. I'll always watch over you. I promise you I will."

Keesha let Julianna's strength and love minister to her. Julianna allowed herself a few precious moments to bask in her mother's pure and genuine love for her. When they broke apart, Julianna dabbed at her mother's eyes with a tissue.

"You need one, too," Keesha said.

"I know. I'll be right back, Mama. I promise I will."

Julianna fled the room, needing fresh air.

Dara and Justus walked into Keesha's room to wish her the very best and to make sure she knew that they would be watching out for Julianna while A.J. went in search of his daughter. He found her outside, near the Emergency Room entrance, leaning back against the concrete wall.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

She turned to look at him and nodded.

"Why did you leave your mother's room so abruptly?"

"Hearing Mama talk about her fears made me realize this is really happening. This is it, Daddy. This is the chance we've prayed for, and yet, what if…what if it doesn't work?"

"Come here, sweetheart," he said, holding out his arms so he could hold her close to him. "You've been so positive throughout this ordeal. You need to keep that attitude, Julianna. This is when your mom needs our support the most. We have to will her to make it through the operation and to make sure her body accepts the new liver. We can't give up now. This is when we have to be at our strongest."

She nodded and looked at her father with love shining in her eyes. "When we first found out about Mama's condition, I never thought you would be a part of this," she admitted. "And now I can't imagine you not being with us. Go see her, Daddy. I know Mama wants to see you before she goes into surgery. I just want a few minutes alone, but I'm fine. Really. I am. I know everything is going to be fine. Tell Mama I love her. So very, very much."

*~*

After Justus and Dara shared heartfelt hugs and words of encouragement and love with Keesha, they left to allow A.J. a few minutes alone with her.

"Julianna is fine," he said as soon as he entered Keesha's room. "I don't want you to worry for one second about her, okay? She said to tell you she loves you very, very, very much."

Keesha nodded and motioned for A.J. to sit on her bed.

"Thank you for that," she said. "Justus and Dara have assured me they are going to keep a close eye on her. I know you're going to watch out for her, too, while I'm in surgery."

"And beyond," he said, taking her hand and intertwining it with his. "I'm going to take care of both of you."

She smiled. "That sounds nice."

Suddenly, her expression turned serious as she studied his handsome face. "A.J., I need to say something before they put me out, and I don't want you to stop me. I have to say this in case I don't make it. Don't," she said, when she knew he would protest her choice of words. "Please, honey. Let me say the words."

A.J. nodded even as he reminded himself they would have plenty of time for heartfelt, and hopefully lighthearted, conversations after her surgery.

"Even though I have not been feeling my best since you arrived, I have thoroughly enjoyed the time we've spent together. Thank you for all the special things you have done for me and Julianna since you've been here. I've loved each and every one of them. Having you here has made such a difference in my life and in Julianna's. Whenever I would imagine my future and dealing with the possibility that has been afforded to me now, I never allowed myself to think you might be a part of this. And yet, here you are. You have come to mean so much to me. Again. Or maybe still. I don't know. I go back and forth on that one. All I know is that you have made things so much easier for me and our daughter. I can never repay you for that, A.J. All I can do is thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope you know how very much you mean to me."

She stopped short of declaring her love for him only because she didn't honestly know what the future held. She hated the uncertainty, but she loved the hope she felt in her heart. She prayed A.J. could see beyond her words and know what was written on her heart. She had never loved him more.

"Hold me," she said, knowing that any moment they would tell her it was time to go to surgery.

She needed to feel his strong, protective arms around her one more time. She needed to draw from his strength and know that he understood what she had been trying to say.

Wordlessly, he gently held her in his loving arms, wishing they could freeze time so she would never leave him. He made a decision and when he spoke, it was as if he were whispering in her ear so only she could hear.

"I have something I need to say to you, too."

"What is it?" she asked, clinging tighter to him.

"These circumstances are not the way I would have imagined any possible reunion for us, but since this is the reality, I'm thankful I'm here and that you let me back into your life and Julianna's. I love you, Keesha Ward, and this time, I am not letting you go."

"You love me," she said.

Happiness consumed her even as the tears spilled down each cheek.

"With all my heart," he confirmed.

Keesha let the tears fall as she decided no other words needed to be spoken. She needed this release, and she knew A.J. understood. She rested in his arms, knowing that no matter what the future held, she could honestly say everything she had done she had done for love. And she could also freely and honestly admit she knew she had the love of a good man. Despite what she would soon be facing, she realized her world had never looked brighter.

Chapter 41

After sealing their conversation with a soulful kiss that made Keesha sigh with contentment, she tensed, for just a moment in A.J.'s arms, when she saw Regina and Katie enter the room, but then, knowing what was about to happen, she resigned herself to the inevitable. She reluctantly pulled away from A.J., who turned at the sound of Katie's voice.

"Sorry to interrupt," the petite, dark-haired Asian woman said, "but we need to take your vitals. Regina will be recording them for Dr. Burgess-Harmon."

Keesha nodded. A.J. was about to leave the room when Keesha asked Regina if he could stay. She looked to Katie who nodded her assent.

"You're going to sedate me after you take my vitals, right?" Keesha asked.

"That's right," Regina, a young nurse with skin the color of milk chocolate and red highlights in her neatly styled hair, answered.

"Then I know my daughter won't come near my room," she said with a small laugh.

"If the nurses will let me, I'll stay," A.J. offered.

"You can stay," Katie confirmed.

Half an hour later, Keesha's body began to feel very light and very relaxed.

"Is the medication taking effect?" Katie asked.

Keesha nodded.

"Good. I'll let Dr. Burgess-Harmon know."

Regina stayed with Keesha and checked her pulse while Katie informed Ellen that the sedation process had begun. Ellen entered the room with the anesthesiologist, a tall, handsome man with cat green eyes and graying temples.

"Keesha, this is Dr. Brad Lyons. He's your anesthesiologist."

"Nice to meet you, Keesha," he said.

He offered a kind smile to her and to A.J.

"You look very relaxed," he said.

"I am," Keesha confirmed.

"Excellent. I'm going to make sure the medicine is not having any adverse effects on you. Under my supervision, the nurses will give you one more dose that will put you completely out. I'll monitor you for a few minutes, and then the orderlies will wheel you into the OR. I will be with you at all times. You will never be awake while on the operating table, and you will feel no pain at any time during the operation."

Keesha nodded.

"Are you ready?" Ellen asked.

"May I see my daughter one more time before you put me out?"

"Of course," Ellen said.

A.J. escorted a visibly anxious Julianna into the room. She stood next to her mother's bed. Keesha reached for her hands and held them tightly in hers.

"I just had to see you one more time. Keep those positive thoughts flowing for me, baby girl. I love you, Julianna. With all my heart."

"I love you, too, Mama," she said, and kissed her mother's hands. "Take good care of my mother," she ordered the medical personnel in the room.

"We will," Ellen said, giving Julianna's shoulders a gentle squeeze.

"Come on, sweetheart," A.J said, placing his arm around his daughter's back. "We need to let them get your mother into surgery."

"We love you, Mama," Julianna said, after she and A.J. stopped at the doorway to look at Keesha one more time.

"Yes, we do," A.J. confirmed. "So very much."

Keesha waved to both of them as they left the room.

A few minutes later, her world went dark.

*~*

Julianna stayed by her father's side as Nikolas led the group to the waiting room that had been set up for them. As they settled in for the long wait, conversation was almost nil. Thoughts and hopes for Keesha occupied their thoughts.

After an hour had passed, one of the longest any of them could remember, A.J. motioned to Nikolas that he wanted to talk to him privately.

"I'll be right back, Julianna," he assured his daughter. "I just want to ask Nikolas a question."

*~*

"What's up?" Nik asked once they had stepped outside the room.

"I know the hospital has patient confidentiality laws, but will Keesha ever know whose liver she has?"

"No, she won't. At least, she won't learn that information from us. If Keesha wants to know about her liver donor, we can tell her only very minimal information."

The beep of Nikolas' Blackberry interrupted their conversation. He quickly scanned the text and frowned.

"I need to run to my office for a minute. I'll be right back. Something else has just come up."

A.J. nodded.

*~*

Nikolas entered his office and reached for the phone to dial the "212" area code phone number the answering service had given him.

"Vincent Martinez," a strong male voice said.

"Mr. Martinez, this is Nikolas Cassadine, administrator for General Hospital, returning your call. What can I do for you?"

"Mr. Cassadine, thank you for getting back to me so quickly. I'm the director for the Goals, Achievements and Successes Center in Manhattan. I work for A.J. Quartermaine, and I need your help."

"A.J. is here at the hospital. Do you need to talk to him?"

"Actually, I'd rather not bother him if I don't have to. My understanding is that very soon, probably as early as Monday morning, you are going to be served with a subpoena for A.J.'s medical records. Is there any way you can quash that legal document?"

"Yes," Nik answered without hesitation. "Medical records are private unless the person involved has signed a release. To my knowledge, A.J. has not signed any such release. I can take care of any subpoena that crosses my desk."

"Thank you, Mr. Cassadine. This is a big relief to me."

"No problem. Thank you for giving me warning about this situation. I am curious, though. If I may ask, who is interested in A.J.'s medical records? Does this person realize he hasn't lived here in eleven years?"

"Yes. There's a story brewing that the reason A.J. returned to Port Charles is because he started drinking again. A certain newspaper reporter believes his family hospitalized him at General Hospital and is keeping the truth from everyone. This vindictive person is determined to find some dirt on A.J. to discredit him. Why, I have no idea. But this situation is rapidly getting out of control. When I heard about the subpoena..."

"You can rest assured I will take care of it. You should tell this reporter to find some real news to write about."

Vincent sighed. "I'd like to tell her more than that."

"I can imagine," Nik empathized.

"Speaking of being curious, you mentioned A.J. being at the hospital. I hope everything's okay."

"Do you know about Keesha?"

"Yes, I do. Did something happen to her?"

"At this moment, she is undergoing her liver transplant."

"Oh, man. That's excellent. But I'm sure very nerve-wracking, too. I'll let A.J. get in touch with me when he can. Thanks for your help, Mr. Cassadine. I appreciate it very much."

"You're welcome. Since I believe we will be talking again, please call me Nikolas. Let me give you my private number, too."

Nikolas recited the phone number.

"Great. I got it. And, please, call me Vincent."

"Will do. I'll be in touch."

"Thanks again."

After hesitating for a few minutes, Nikolas made the difficult decision. He grabbed the receiver and quickly punched in the numbers from his Rolodex.

"Dr. Quartermaine? This is Nikolas at GH."

"Nikolas!" Alan said, his voice frantic. "I'm so glad you called. Bobbie just told us that Keesha is having her liver transplant operation. Monica and I tried to call A.J. on his cell, but, of course, if he's at the hospital, which I presume he is, the call wouldn't go through. We left him a message, but..."

"A.J. is here. I'm calling on another matter, actually, but yes, Keesha is in the OR and so far, things are going fine. Are you and Monica on your way here?"

"We'd like to be there, but we weren't sure if we should show up unannounced."

"I'm sure it's fine," Nikolas said. "When you arrive, though, I'd like to see you and your wife in my office first. There's an urgent matter I need to discuss with you."

"We're on our way."

*~*

"Do you think that text Nikolas got was about Mama, and he didn't want to say anything?" Julianna asked A.J., her voice anxious. "He's been gone for a while."

"I'm sure it wasn't," Gia rushed to assure a very concerned Julianna. "Do you want me to go to his office to find out what's going on?" she asked the others.

"No, it's okay," Justus said. "I'm sure Nikolas is always putting out fires. If something bad were going on with Keesha, I know he would be here."

Dara and A.J. nodded in agreement.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" A.J. suggested to his daughter. "I'd like to step outside for a minute and check my cell phone. Come with me?"

Julianna nodded. "Let's go to the patio. Please come get us if you hear any news," she urged Dara and Justus.

"We will, honey," Dara said. "Enjoy the fresh air."

*~*

As soon as A.J. and Julianna stepped onto the patio, the refreshing warm night air hit both of them.

"It's such a beautiful night," Julianna said, looking up at the hundreds of stars that seemed to be twinkling at her against the black velvet sky.