A baby...

Responding to Winona the night before had not been an option, his tongue seized, his mouth went dry, and he only wanted to ask how. He knew the particulars, hell he had been an expert in sex education, since the age fourteen, and Beth Hargrove's expert lips on his very thankful thirteen year old erection.

The real how and why came down to now, what made them any better equipped to be parents or husband and wife when they had failed miserably the first time around. So instead of saying a word, he simply walked away and locked himself in the bathroom. Long after the house was quiet and the first rays of dawn began to break he escaped from his hiding place and ran right into the petite frame of Rachel Brooks.

She was happy and that shit pissed him off.

No one deserved her share of romance, love, adoration, and affection more than Rachel Brooks. He still wasn't clear on the whole ex-husband thing and what happened, but he knew the man did a number on her and made it harder than hell for another fucker to crack her hardened exterior. Unfortunately the hat wearing marshal had reminded her of the man and because of that he always felt like he was fighting a losing battle. Tim on the other hand was rose scented fresh air and apparently the bastard had a few tricks up his sleeve because while Raylan was hiding from Winona, he had to find a few moments taking care of the tent in his pants from the moaning he heard drifting from the walls of Rachel's bedroom. Even now he could see fresh passion marks on her skin and fingerprints that belonged to another man. Pure anger made Raylan want to rush into her bedroom and put an end to Tim and their farce of a relationship, but her eyes were warm, soft, and peaceful for the first time in weeks. He couldn't take that away from her.

"Coffee?"

Raylan willingly left his depressing thoughts at the sound of her voice, "I'd kill for your coffee right now," He hoped she caught on to the subtext and based on the fullness of her smile he was sure that she had. No he wouldn't take her happiness at the moment but he would remind her how good they were together both on and off assignment.

Rachel shook her head and motioned for him to follow her. She moved from the hall, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. Out of habit he checked their surroundings. Peeking around corners and chasing shadows away before his fingers lifted the blinds to count the number of unmarked cars guarding the perimeter.

Raylan watched silently as she went through the motions, retrieving the beans from the cabinet, pausing to inhale the aroma, before grinding them, and moving on to the next step. She didn't ask how he took his coffee because she remembered it clearly; she spooned sugar, poured cream, and slid the mug across the counter. It was perfection.

"Talk Givens."

That voice was his Rachel. Not the one who shared a bed with Tim, but the one who broke him down the first night she ever kissed his lips.

How had he messed things up so badly?

As much as he wanted to be near her, every action had forced them further apart. Gutterson made her happy and that knowledge picked at the scab on the wound she'd inflicted upon his heart. For all the hang ups both men possessed, Tim had been willing to move past his, learn from his tumultuous past, and build a semblance of a relationship with the beautiful woman staring at him now.

"Do you want this, the man that kisses your ass, or do you want me?"

Raylan was selfish and he was sure it was a trait he'd never outgrow. He should have left well enough alone. He was going to be a dad, she had just been shot, and her fucking ass kissing boy toy was in a sex induced coma in her bed, but when had Raylan ever done what he was supposed to. Never, so he pushed her. If this was his last chance, then he was going to take it. He saw her hesitate as she slipped back into her role of good girlfriend and respectable friend.

"Before you tell me to stop or don't, does he make you feel the way I do?"

Raylan stood, moving around the island, filling her space with him. He knew he looked awful, unshaven and eyes red from lack of sleep, but he needed to let her know how he still felt.

"Do you know how I felt when I thought," His hands slid up her bare arms and rested on her shoulders, "If anything had of happened to you," He took a breath as his fingers trailed along her neck, "Tell me right now you don't want me Rachel and I'll leave you alone, hell, I'll watch you make a fool of yourself with Tim, I'll forget how my name sounds on your lips," His face moved closer to hers, "Just before you come." He closed his eyes, "I'll walk away from everything I feel and let you have your future with Tim."

She was silent, but her eyes never left his.

"Is that what you want," He licked his lips, "Tell me what you want?"

She lifted her body up on her tip toes, her mouth meeting his, but hesitating in guilt ridden kiss. He closed the gap, careful not to grip her shoulder too tightly, but dead set on relaying with every fiber of his being that he wasn't going down without a fight. The kiss went on longer than it should have a battle of wills and tangled tongues.

They were both fighting for dominance in the moment of intimacy and in the end Raylan was the clear winner, breaking the kiss and declaring without a thought, "I had you first and I am sure as hell not ready to let you go."

Rachel stood visibly shaken by what had occurred. He took a few steps back, creating a safe distance between them, and she moved closer. Her arms were wrapped around her body, and ever so often the tips of her fingers would drift to the lips he had just thoroughly kissed.

"Raylan..."

His cell buzzed, interrupting her thought, "Hold on...just a sec..."

Raylan's finger hesitated above the button. He recognized his father's number. He greeted his caller with silence. The man on the other end slowly began to unravel into tears and incoherent babbling. However there was one thing he understood, he had to get to Harlan, his aunt Helen had been gunned down in her home.

He threw the phone across the room, signaling the end of the call.

Raylan's knees buckled. Winona and Rachel held special places in his heart, however Helen, she meant more to him than words could express. She had tried to protect him, forming a shaky truce with Mags Bennett on his behalf, and he'd done his best to destroy it, with his smart assed comments, and half cocked attacks. Rachel's shooting had been a warning he was sure of it, but Helen's death was a promise of what was to come. He'd stop it before things went further. He'd end the battle before it could even begin.

Rachel grabbed his arm but he shook her off.

"Raylan don't do anything stupid."

He wanted to say he wouldn't but that would be a lie, so he said nothing. He kissed her, grabbed his jacket, hat, and ran out the front door.