There are no excuses for this story. None at all.
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The first and only time Ronon kissed Teyla, they were in one of the gyms finishing up yet another high intensity workout.
Ronon looked at Teyla, saw the sweat glistening on golden skin, the heaving of her bosom and was overcome by...something.
Next thing he knew, he grasped her by the arms and hauled her into a kiss that seared and melted. Or should have if he did it right.
However, the only real searing and melting Ronon felt was the spreading pain in his man parts from where Teyla kneed him in the groin. He fell to the mats cupping his tender bits and it took long moments for the miasma that clouded his vision to clear.
When it did, he looked up to see Teyla standing over him with her arms folded.
"What were you thinking?" she asked in her "Earth people are way stupid but I humor them anyway" voice; the one Ronon secretly hated even as he envied her delivery.
"You," he gasped, getting to one knee even though he was still hurting. "Sweat. Bosom."
"And you decided to sample my charms?" Teyla shook her head. "Ronon, I would hazard to say you are like a brother, no, let me rephrase, a second cousin once removed and thus you are like family." She bent down and peered at him closely. "However, we are not so close that I would condone being manhandled."
"I figured that out." Ronon got to his feet. "Still, did you?" He gave a vague handwave between them and smiled hopefully. He could also have been showing her the signal for getting the check on P7X-592 but that was neither here nor there.
Teyla cocked her head and unleashed the eyebrow of deep skepticism. "No."
"Nothing?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
This time he was rewarded with a growl. "Ronon..."
He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay." As they gathered their belongings Ronon said, "um, Teyla, you won't tell everyone else about..." He let his voice drift off and Teyla smirked at him as she walked toward the door.
"Your indiscretion? Of course not."
"Thanks."
The door slid open and Teyla stood framed within the doorway. "If I did then you would have to answer to my lovers and I doubt if they would be so understanding." She swept away leaving a bemused Satedan in her wake.
Ronon vowed then never to test Teyla's patience again. He liked his man parts too much.