Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, or uncertainty; without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.
She smiled as she mentally replayed their night together. He kissed her face and shared some stories of his childhood. She took it as his way of reciprocating. The stories he'd told her about his upbringing. How old he was when he'd gone to live with his grandparents. How it felt when he lost his tonsils. Then he read to her in that dark and steady timbre until she fell asleep.
That following morning they showered together and had some breakfast that Bea made, while he watched her with bedroom eyes. They'd gotten dressed with a little effort. She fixed his crooked tie. He'd thanked her, and then given her a peck on the lips. They took the lift downstairs. He held the car door open for her; all the things that couples do with one another.He dropped her off, wanting to walk her to her door, but Bea refused. She kissed him once and told him to have a good day. Just as she got out of the car, he grabbed her arm and kissed her again, pouring a heady dose of passion into their kiss. Their kiss ended with Lucas holding eyes with her and gave her that hundred-watt smile that always drove her to the brink of insanity. He relinquished his hold on her when his phone rang. Bea took the opportunity to escape before she was caught in an act of indecent exposure. She took care to sway her hips a little bit more than usual. She found herself inwardly smiling at the feeling of those eyes dancing across her as she walked into her complex.
She was welcomed home by Nikko holding a fussy baby. Nikko entrusted the whining infant into her arms and proceeded to demand the events of the previous night. The fussing baby quieted after she rocked him for awhile. His tiny thumb was inside his mouth as he turned his face toward her. She stared down at him and watched his chest rise and fall. Her fingers traced the tiny convolutions of his ear, wiped away the line of dribble from his mouth.
This was her nephew. She felt cheated. She wanted to cry. She wanted to spend the rest of the day holding him. She felt gypped when Nikko took the sleeping infant from her arms and took him to the guest room were she assumed Julia was. She sat down at the table, her eyes staring out the window as Nikko reentered the kitchen.
He sat a mug in front of her filled with hot chocolate. He stared at her hard for a second noticing she had yet to touch the mug. That wasn't like her she loved hot chocolate. "Boire votre chocolat chaud, Amie et dites-moi c e que vous derange?"
She told Nikko about the day she'd run from Lucas' apartment all the way up to last night. Nikko looked Bea straight in the eye wondering where in the hell his best friend had gone. He mentally counted the days he had left before he went into surgery. Five days before he had to face his sister, he’d just started to improve himself. George finally moved back in. He was making major changes to his person; he’d even started a new line and taking night classes in wig making.
"When are you going to tell Lucas about your 'Run bitch, run syndrome'?" Nikko asked with his head cradled by smooth polished hands. His sea green orbs entranced as he watched the steam waft up into the air, pool into a small mist, converging and contorting for a brief second then slowly dissipate into the air. "Dr. L says: 'You can't have a strong partnership if you don't trust each other.' And I must say it is the smartest thing I've heard her say."
"Regarde-moi, Amie you have changed so much and it worries me." Nikko's voice was octaves lower than usual. "What's going on?"
His eyes pierced her, waiting for an answer he wouldn't like, as he drank some of his Earl Grey tea. Bea sat across from him cradling a mug of hot chocolate. She was still wearing the clothes from the day before minus her bra--she'd lost that somewhere in Lucas' room. He held her as she spoke of childhood memories--some good, some bad, and others just fucked up. She felt so light last night she'd let Lucas see a part of her she didn't share with anyone. She came home that morning feeling so good, so alive. She was walking on clouds.
"Nothing happened to me, I just don't think Lucas really wants this.” She swept a hand over her body and scoffed at the back of her throat. She shook her head and tried to paste together the right words. "How have you looked at me Nikko? I mean, he’s the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me. I look at myself in the mirror and I hate myself because I'll never be a size 6 or even a 12. However, beyond that, he still wants me and I can't help but fall more and more in love with him. I can't go through heartbreak, not with him."
"Hold the phones! Did you just say in love?" Nikko was staring at her as one would a stranger. He didn’t know the woman in front of him--this was not his Bea. Irate sea green eyes bore into confused brown; Nikko threw his mug into the kitchen wall. Bea fidgeted in her seat trying to paste together her response.
"That’s a new paint job." She tried to bring some humor into the situation. Nikko didn't laugh and Bea swallowed her nervous laughter. Nikko's eyes narrowed and his jaw was clenched."I don't know who you are I don't know what the fuck you're doing Bea, but so help me, God! I will beat yo ass so hard all your future kids will feel it in their future kids' uterus. I don't know when you became the fucking poster child for self-loathing but you need to fix what has you in knots because life is going on with or without you and you don't even fight against it. No, you just float in and out like a damn specter. Fix this before it consumes you."
Nikko ran tapered fingers through his flaxen tresses and sighed. He wanted to be angry with her. He wanted to demand that the Bea he knew wake up. Get rid of the self-loathing imposter who stood in her place. She'd promised him that those days were well behind her.
"Nikko, I'm just so afraid that this is a trick. That Lucas is in some way using me. When I'm with him, I feel so safe and protected. Did I tell you he wants me to meet his family? He even went as far as to give me closet space and a dresser draw. I don't know what I'm doing, he just seems too good to be true."
"Go see her."
"I can't."
"You can't or you won't?"
Chapter End Notes:
It's not much but i've been writing and I should have somthing for you next week if not sooner.