I was almost done with the seventeenth chapter when I heard the shrill sounds of crying. Amarie had been waking up in the middle of the night lately with ear piercing cries in the middle of the night, but lately it had become increasingly worse. Each doctor I took her to reassured me she was just cranky and going through growing pains. I just couldn’t help but feel like I was in over my head.

I jumped out of my seat and rushed down to the end of the hall to the nursery. Walking over to her crib I picked Amarie up, cradling her in my arms; but like always she fought me.

“Please Amarie.” I pleaded with her. It was always moments like this that made me feel inadequate, reminding me that I wasn’t her mother. It was silly, because I’ve been with her since she had been born; she knew no other person as her mother. It was just my insecurities mirrored on to her.

“I know I am not what you want Amarie but please bear with me.” I said out loud.

She replied with more cries. A year of living with me and she still wasn’t settling down. To be truthful, I wasn’t use to her; a year ago I was just my sister’s personal assistant. Traveling across the globe, partying with the hottest people, and cleaning up the mess that was my sister Natalie’s life. Then Natalie became pregnant with Amarie, changing all of our lives forever.

I felt the tears begin to well in my eyes. Maybe it was because I had never had to work so hard? I was so used to taking the easy way out, but that was not an option when it came to this precious little girl. I had to learn to be an adult, which meant no crying in the middle of a nursery. I went to pick up her stuffed bear but she tossed it down, I had just fed her, and I had no clue what the problem was.

I heard the sounds of someone walking down the hardwood floor towards the nursery. A minute later, Tye was standing in the door way; sans his shirt and his pajama bottoms. I averted my eyes from his muscular bare chest and tried valiantly to look him only in the eyes.

“Sorry.”

He used the heel of his palm to rub his eye. “Give me the chipmunk.”

Honestly, Tye was a godsend. His decision to stick by me was detrimental to our relationship and a hindrance. He held her in his arms, smoothed down her hair and softly hummed to her. I watched them together with envy as she laid her head on his chest and calmed down. Soon she was drifting off to sleep while suckling her thumb. She had the longest lashes that touched her cheeks, her sandy colored curls and delicate nose remind me of her father so much that it took everything I had to hold back the tears.

“You okay Aubrey?” Tye asked me with Amarie still on his chest.

“I’m fine. I’ll go make some coffee for us.” I went over and kissed Amarie’s forehead before I ventured downstairs, dodging boxes marked with Tye’s name on them.

Once there, I put on a pot and waited for it to heat up. Red numbers on the microwave flashed 3:00 am. I hadn’t had any sleep tonight and my emotions were at their breaking point, in three days it would be Amarie’s second birthday; I had a book I needed to get to my publisher, and I was going through a break-up.

When it rains it pours.

Tye’s hand landed on my left shoulder as if the gesture would prevent me from breaking down. I was losing the most important person in my life at the most crucial time in my life. He gently massaged me, easing some of the tension out of my shoulder but it didn’t ease my heartache.

Tye placed his chin on the top of my head, pulling my body against his. “Everything will be alright Aubrey.” Silence hung between us for a while as I tried to reign in my misery

“No it won’t.” My voice involuntarily squeaked as I spoke. I felt like Amarie was losing another major influence in her life. “I wish we could make it work for her sake.”

“Then we wouldn’t be happy. You were never really happy with me in the first place.” He said softly. My heart sank from his honest words. I couldn’t respond back, what would I say? I couldn’t tell him he was wrong because he wasn’t. I couldn’t reassure him and there was no way I was apologizing. I had no regrets about what I did in the past, because even good people do bad things. Yet, I appreciated him so much and Amarie loved him. I truly couldn’t imagine life without him.

I touched his hand that was holding my waist. “I’m going to miss you.”

He inhaled sharply. “I’m going to miss you too Aubrey.”

I didn’t know what to say, instead I moved myself away from his embrace and reached for the cabinet above the oven to take out coffee mugs. Trying to inject some humor into this situation, I smiled at him.

“Don’t forget about us when that perfect girl comes along who loves you with her heart and soul. Remember me and Amarie were here first.” I cupped his cheek into my hand. Even as I smiled it still hurt to let him go.

Tye captured my wrist. “I would never forget about my girls.”

~~~

“Pip-pip- Pippa.” Amarie mumbled. My bulldog Pippa, barked back as Amarie said her name, which made Amarie squeal. Grabbing her small bowl of cheerios she banged it against the surface of her high-chair sending the cereal flying in the air and crashing on to the floor.

Pippa began to lick them up quickly and I had to shoo her away before grabbing my swifter to clean up the floor. Motherhood was certainly a full-time job.

I heard a key being placed in the lock at the front door. I didn’t have to turn round to know who it was, only two people had a key to my Brooklyn duplex. Kali entered, her hands filled with groceries. She blew her raven colored bangs out of her face as she sat them down on the kitchen counter.

Amarie clapped her hands excitedly. “Pippa!” She tossed her head back with laughter.

Kali turned to me. “Does it bother you that her first word is the dog’s name?” She questioned.

“Good morning to you sister, how has your day been?” I sarcastically replied.

Kali was my youngest sister and the one closest to me in age. Kali rolled her eyes at me and began taking the groceries out. There is a two year difference between the three of us but sometimes I feel like their mother.

“So what are we going to do for Chipmunk’s birthday?” Kali went over and picked up Amarie who began waving her arms toward me instantly.

I took her and placed her on my hip before smothering her face with kisses. “I wish you guys wouldn’t call my baby Chipmunk.”

If I hadn’t been staring at Kali I would have missed the slight rise of her brow. It stung a little as if she was questioning my words. Another hit to my already shaky confidence.

Kali smiled. “We can have a monkey theme birthday party! Oh I can see it! We can get a banana cake and everything.”

Kali’s head was already spinning with ideas. I wanted to make Amarie’s birthday special for her so she would know that she was loved by many people. “How about you plan it than Kali?”

Kali’s mouth opened slightly. “ Really?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Thank you Aubrey! Now you two go get dressed before we are late.”

I was hopping around trying to put on my panty hose while making bottles to take with me when my cell phone rang. “Why are you calling me when you’re right downstairs?” I asked.

Kali sighed. “You’re not going to like this. I totally forgot that today was the last day for you to grab Natalie’s things from the penthouse.”

My mouth twisted and I stopped all movement. The beautiful one million dollar Manhattan penthouse; an investment by Thomas. I remembered when he presented her with the key at dinner with my parents, he had so much pride in his eyes. Natalie smiled but I could tell it wasn’t genuine; while I had swallowed down the lump of jealousy that had formed in my throat.

“Why do I have to do it?” I groaned. It had also become my duty to clean up the mess of their relationship.

“Because I have to go get decorations, and plus I don’t want to.” Kali admitted. “I’ll take chipmunk with me so you can get it done faster.” She hung up before I could even respond.

I looked at Amarie who was wiggling her arms over her head. She didn’t have a care in the world. I wish I could have that feeling.

~~~

When the taxi stopped in front of the high rise building I didn’t want to get out. I could feel the driver’s eyes boring into me from the rearview mirror. “That will be eleven dollars and fifty cents.” He repeated.

With a huff I reached into my purse and pulled out a twenty. I didn’t ask for my change back, I just hopped out of the cab and slammed the door behind me. I had to face this one last thing and then I would wash my hands of this…drama.

My heels clicked across the expensive black marble floor. The door man nodded at me as I walked toward the elevator. I pushed the button for the top level of the high rise and watched the glowing numbers as they flashed above me. The elevator stopped and the silver doors opened to a place that clearly displayed opulence. The biggest and best money could buy; four bedrooms, three baths, not to mention a rooftop terrace and a gym.

I turned on the lights as I walked though, noticing all the lamps were tiffany designed. If Natalie invested half the money she spent on useless things like lamps into stock she’d be rich by now. I shook my head as I made it into the master bedroom. It was dark and as my hand searched for the light a familiar voice startled me.

“Hello?”

I froze as the loud beating of my heart rang loudly in my ears. I knew who it was but that didn’t calm my fears. I was not prepared for this. I was supposed to pick up a few of Natalie’s keepsakes and send them to her, not come face to face with the man she left.

Trent found the light switch faster than I could. He stood staring, penetrating me with his eyes. I swallowed hard, my fingers clutching the wall for support. It had been a while since we have seen each other. His classic chiseled features looked worn but still beautiful. He was no longer clean shaven; he now wore a full beard. He tilted his head as if he was confused.

“Aubrey?”

“Hi Trent.” My voice was shaking like a leaf in a category five hurricane.

We stood there just staring at each other before he advanced toward me with arms wide open. We embraced in a familiar but awkward hug.

“You look good.” He whispered in my ear. Standing closer to him now I noticed the blue-green flecks of his eyes and the small but noticeable cleft in his chin. Goosebumps covered my arms and a chill slithered up my spine.

“Thanks, it’s been a long time.” I commented.

“Damn near two years.” He said with a slight smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

“What are you doing here?” He asked stepping back and placing his hands in his pocket.

“Picking up a few things.” I faltered trying not to mention her name. Knowing it would make this already tense situation even more unbearable.

He just nodded his head slightly before we fell into silence again.

He leaned against a polished oak dresser. “How have you been Aubrey?”

“I’m surviving.” I was trying to keep my answer short and sweet. “How are you?” I politely asked.

He cleared his throat. “Good… Great.”

I looked around their bedroom. This place looked like paradise, but it wasn’t really it was a house but not a home. Unfortunately, there was no love here never would be because the two people deserted the place before giving it a chance.

Trent let out a loud huff. “This place is depressing.”

“It …it truly is.” I chuckled a little.

“I mean look at all this stuff, not one thing in here is even remotely mine.”

“Then why are you here?” I asked. His brows furrowed in confusion as he thought about it.

“Honestly, I don’t know Brey.” It had been a while since any one called me Brey it felt good to hear. It reminded me that once, we had been good friends before all of the drama that had happened; destroying a relationship that we had carefully built.

I decided to extend the olive branch. “Hey, want to catch up over a beer?”

A wide smile spread across his face. “Sure, why not.”