When My Back's Against the Wall

By:  Sherry

*ring, ring, ring*

God no, not yet. I swear I just lad down.

*ring, ring, ring*

Tina shifted in her empty queen size bed and covered her ears.

*ring, ring, ring*

She rolled over and eyed the clock on her nightstand and it read 1:15 am. She had just closed her eyes. She puts the pillow over her head to muffle her scream. "For cryin' out fuckin' loud!"

*ring, ring, rin-*

On the last ring Tina threw her cover back and snatched the phone off the night stand. She moved her hair out of her face and sighed. Then said "Hello" in her most calm and relaxed voice.

*nothing*

This has been going on for to long. Random people calling at all time of night and early morning and then not say shit! Tina was pissed. "You listen to me!...I know your still on the got damn phone because I can hear your dumb ass breathin'!....Stop callin my fuckin' house if you're not gonna say shit!...Chris ain't here, okay!...Me and my daughter is tryna sleep....If you're tryna find out if he's gota gurl. This is his wifey that's bitchin' your ass out!".....*click*......"You gonna call my house and hang up on me!".

Tina slammed the phone down and jumped back in bed.

*ring, rin-*

"Fuck!" Tina grabbed the phone. “I told you not to call my house!...Hell!...are you that dum-!"

"Tina?...Something wrong?"

She covered her mouth and dropped her hand. "I'm so sorry Mama Joyce."

"What's goin' on baby?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"Who's callin' now?"

"That’s just it. They never say anything."....Tears pricked the back of her eyes. She took a deep breath and blew it out very slowly...."Maybe he's stepin' out again."

"I seriously doubt that baby....I know your tryin' not to cry I can't hear it in your voice. You listen to me; Chris knows you’re the best thing that’s happened to him and Mya...He wouldn't screw up again. Trust me I know my son. He's tryna do right by you and his daughter."

Tina wiped a stray tear away. "Thanks for sayin' that."

"It's just the truth baby...Have you ever thought that"...she paused...."that maybe it's Mya's birth mother."

"I don't think so. We haven't talked to her or seen her in over a year. I don't see why she would suddenly pop back up."

"Your probably right...that’s best for Mya.... Anyway I know it’s late....Well I was callin' because I haven't heard from my son in a few days and that makes me nervous. How's he doin?"

"I'm worried to he hasn't called me today. I always tell him if he can't come home to at least call and check in so I don't worry myself into an early grave. But you know your son. He gets out there in them streets and loses his damn mind."

“I pray to God every night to protect him. I just wish he would stop huslin'....but I know he's been doin' that for to long know to get out. I swear sometimes I look at him and see his father starin' back."

"Mya's been askin' to see you."

"How's my granbaby?

She smiled proudly. "Wonderful...She's mama's angel.  I have a few scheduled afternoon appointments at the shop so I'm gonna take her with me. We'll stop by your house after okay?"

That would be wonderful. I'm lookin forward to it baby...I'm not gonna keep you any longer. I love you have a goodnight."

"Goodnight Mama Joyce. Love you to."

*click*

Tina rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. After 30 minutes of tossing and turn she had to except the fact that she was wide awake now. She was getting thirsty, so she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. As she was pouring her a glass of water she heard the sound of little feet coming down the stairs. She smiled to herself. She knew her three year old was hiding on the other side of the kitchen door. "Mya come on out baby."

Mya stuck her finger in her mouth and peaked around the kitchen door like she had been caught doing something wrong. Tina knelt down and opened her arms out. "I'm not mad your awake okay baby girl. I know mama was loud on the phone."...Mya ran to her and Tina scooped her up..."How about me and you go sit and watch cartoons until we fall asleep?"

Mya snuggled into the bend of her neck. "Okay mommy."

****

Chris slowly turned the front door knob of his five bedroom house. It was half past four and he didn't want to wake the house up. Mostly because he knew he was in trouble for not checking in. He had been on the grind for days. All he wanted to do was kiss his baby girl goodnight and curl up in bed with the love of his life. Every second he spent running the streets he missed his home life. But he did this for them. He would do anything for them.

Chris eased his way in and was on his way up the stairs when he spotted his two favorite women on the couch. Tina was curled up in to a little ball with her arm protectively wrapped around Mya. It was the most beautiful sight. That made his next move hard. He didn't want to wake them but it was just to damn cold to let them sleep on the couch.

Chris slowly lifted Tina's arm to get to Mya. He picked her up and carried her up the stairs to her bedroom at the end of the hall. He tucked her in and kissed her on the head then returned for Tina. He wasn't surprised to find her awake and rubbing her eyes with her curly unruly reddish auburn hair all over her head. Damn she was sexy as hell. Chris sat beside her and she laid her head down in his lap. Chris started running his fingers through her hair.

She yawned. "Why didn't you wake me." she said in a low sleepy voice.

"I just got here bae."

"Oh, what time is it?"

"Almost five."

There was a long pause. Chris could tell Tina was conflicted with something. He kissed her forehead and tried to kiss her lips but she turned away. Chris furrowed his brow in confusion. "What’s wrong bae?"

Tina sat up and turned towards Chris. "Why didn't you call Chris?"

Chris ran his hand down his face. "Not this shit again...I've had a long ass day. I just wanted to come home and relax with my gurl. Not come home and hear nothin' but bitchin'!"

"Poor baby"....she replied sarcastically..."You been gone for two fuckin' days Chris without so much as a phone call or even a text message tellin me your not alone lying dead in a fuckin ditch God only knows where at!...Your saying you had along day!...What about me Chris?....I been here stuck in this house tryna explain to your daughter why "daddy" hasn't come home and why "mama's so sad."

All the anger left Chris's eyes and he tried to comfort Tina but she flinched.  "Tina what else is botherin' you?...why wont you let me touch you?"

"Who's callin the house?" she whispered

"What?"

A tear falls down her cheek. "Who's callin' the house? I know it ain't business because they don't use the house phone. So which one of your bitches is it?"

"Are you tryna say I'm fuckin' around on you?...Is that what you tryna say?"

Tears were rolling down her cheeks now. "Don't try to act all surprised because it wouldn't be the first time.  Mya's proof of that...Don't get it twisted I love her and treat her like she came from me and I would never wish her away...But, you know it almost killed me to find out you had been fuckin around on me and another woman was havin' your baby!...I refused to go through that again...I don't think I could handle it!" She dropped on the couch and sobbed.

Chris wrapped her in his arms and rocked her. "Calm down ma...I'm sorry okay....I've put you through a lot of shit and you stood by me...Look at me." They gazed into each others eyes and saw their souls reflecting back. "Believe me when I say I love you and Mya more then anything. I would never do anything to hurt you.  You're my family....I'm not cheatin' on you."

Tina saw the truth in his eyes. "Okay"

He smirked. "So give papa some suga."

Tina straddled his lap and passionately kissed him and he responded immediately. He forced his tongue past her bottom lip and she immediately accepted. Tina felt Chris's body responding. She felt his response poking her in the bottom whiched in creased the aching between her legs. A low moan slipped from her lips. Tina could play this game. She started grindin' and rotating in his lap. Chris groaned and she felt him grow harder. "You tease," he mumbled.

"You started it"

Chris starts kissing and nipping his way down her neck and collar bone causing her to throw her head back to give him better access. He eased his hands down her chest and began massaging her nipple until they were painfully hard. He playfully bit the tip of her nipple through the fabric of her shirt and she let out a loud moan. Chris quickly coverd her mouth and laughed.  "Maybe we should take this to the bedroom. I forgot how loud your ass is." They began kissing like they were each others life lines.  Chris picked Tina up, wrapped her legs around his waist and took her upstairs. It took them a while to reach their bedroom from bumping into everything. He placed Tina in the middle of the bed and looked down into her green eyes. "How did I get so lucky?" He lightly kissed her lips and continued down her neck. Two days without this woman was to damn long. He eagerly pulled her pj bottoms off and tossed them. He tried to gain control of himself. He didn't want to rush this. He kissed her stomach and traced the inside of her thong with his index finger. He ran his finger along the lips of her opening very slowly and found her wet and ready for him. Another moan left her lips. "Chris I love you but if you don't hurry the fuck up I'm gonna have to kill you!"

Chris chuckles. "Patients ma." He started to remove the throng and his cell rings. "Damn!"

"NO!...Don't answer it!"

Chris sighed. "You know I have to ma."....Chris flipped his phone open..."Shad your ass better be shot or some shit!...What the hell do you want nigga!" He yelled..."No I can't"....Chris looked at Tina and saw her roll over and put her pj bottoms back on. Chris gave her an I'm sorry look and continued talking... "That shit can't wait until tomorrow. I just got home!....I'm with Tina right now....yeah I know it’s already tomorrow Shad!...yeah!...yeah I'ma handle it!...I ain't dumb enough to send you alone....I'm on my way...Peace nigga!"

He Grabbed Tina and kissed the base of her neck. "Sorry bae, I gotta go...okay ma?" He turned to look in her eyes for reassurance that it was okay but he didn't get it.

Tina looked away and mumbled. "Okay baby."

I promise you I'll take care of this when I get back...aight, ma...I'm not gonna be gone long. A few hours at the most."

Tina knew a few hours meant at least a day or two. "Yeah whatever."

Chris pecked her lips and put his shirt back on. "I promise I'ma call you if it runs longer okay."

"Chris before you leave I need to talk to you about Mya."

Concern feeled his eyes. "What goin' on bae?"

"Relax...She's just at the age now where she's askin' a lot of questions about me and about her real mama."

"Like what?"

"Well she asked me why she doesn’t look like me. So I tried to explain to her in a way she could understand. But I ain't sure she got it...I made sure to tell her that her real mother loved her very much. Then she said that I was her mother and that I loved her very much did that mean I was gonna leave her also. That just broke my heart Chris....So I spent most of the day tryna make her believe that I would never leave her...I just don't know what to say or do!"

"I'm sorry I wasn't here...You did good bae."

"I gotta go into the shop today. Can you come by and take her to lunch so you can talk to her. I think it will do her and you some good to spend some time together. She needs to know your here for her whether I am or not."

"What do you mean...Whether you are or not...you ain't goin no where!"

Tina didn't even respond to that. "Are you gonna come?"

"Of course."

"You better...Also I'm gonna take her to see Miss Joyce...Oh! You need to go see your mama.......She's worried as hell over your sorry ass!"

Chris held his hands up like he was surrendering. "Aight bae...I'ma go see about her." He bent down and whispered in her ear "love you ma" then kissed her cheek and walked out.

Tina took a deep sigh. "Why do I love him?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris stopped at his daughter’s room and peaked in. Mya wad sleeping peacefully. He sat on the edge of her bed and kissed her forehead then whispered "I love you" and exits her room. He makes his way downstairs and exits the house. As he's shutting his car door his mind wondered to Tina. What do I really do for her? If I never had Mya would she still be with me?...Why does she love me?