Now

Carter stood on Allison’s porch and stared at the brass knocker. He’d been there many times before only this time felt different. It was that blank look in her eyes that made him pause---that cold edge to her voice when she’d pushed him away. He wasn’t sure he could face again. But he knew he had to. They still hadn’t heard from Henry and he sure as hell wasn’t about to got to Stark with anything. Allison was the only person he could trust right now. But still he didn’t move.

Carter’s phone vibrated on his hip and he jumped in surprise. The small stack of papers slipped from his hands and he lowered himself to his knees as he wedged the phone between his ear and shoulder. “Carter,” he barked, snatching the paper before they could blow away in the wind.

“You---didn’t ---bring---ice cream.”

Carter sighed. “I’m sorry Faith---I got held up.”

“It’s---okay---I’ll---wait.”

He frowned. She was out of breath and he could hear the rhythmic squeak of mattress springs groaning under the weight of a leaping ten year old. “Are you---are you jumping on my bed?”

There was a loud squeak and then a thump, like the sound of his headboard banging against the wall. “No,” she said.

“Look, ask Zoë to order a pizza and you two sit tight till I get there alright?”

“Are you with Allison?”

Carter looked up at the house and shrugged. “Ah---sorta.”

“Oh, you’re gonna help her remember right? Did you bring flowers---girls like flowers.”

“She’s not a girl and no---this is work related.” Faith groaned into the phone and Carter frowned. “What?”

“Sheriff Carter she’s never gonna remember if you don’t help her.”

“It’s a lot more complicated than that Faith---there’s some weird, scientific hoodoo going on. “

“That’s just an excuse---you’re afraid to try.”

“I am not,” Carter exclaimed. “Something zapped Allison’s brain and I have no idea how it happened. How is that making an excuse?”

“Memories are like water---it can be snow, or vapor or rain but it’s always there. You just don’t see it sometimes.”

Carter paused. “Okay, is that supposed to mean something?”

“It means you should have brought flowers.”

Carter looked up as Allison’s porch was illuminated in a flood of bright light. He blinked when she opened the door and stared at him in surprise. “Carter? What are you doing here?”

“Gotta go,” Carter said into the receiver. He snapped the phone closed, stuffed into his waistband as he held up the print outs and wondered why the hell he didn’t think to pick up her favorite lilies on the way over. “Hey Allison---I found something over and Global that might help with all of this---you mind if I come in?”

Allison paused and stepped back with a gesture towards her living room. “Of course not---please.” He walked past her with a quick glance at her profile. Her face was bare of makeup and he could see the familiar smattering of freckles across her nose. Carter turned away and smiled as he walked into the living room. Maybe Faith was right---maybe Allison’s memories were still there, like water vapor, just hiding beneath the surface. If that was true, if she really could remember with a little prodding, well hell—he’d do everything in his power to pull them out again.

Then

He couldn’t decide how to do it.

The first time with Abby, he’d done it on the fly after a night of a few too many beers and a sudden conviction that if he didn’t pop the question he could very well spend his life alone. But this was different. It was Allison---the woman he was pretty sure classified as the love of his life. You didn’t just suggest something like marriage over a Bud to the love of your life. You made plans—put on a production and got down on one knee. It all meant something---every word, every look was something she’d remember and tell your kids over and over when you both were middle aged and nostalgic.

And that memory was up to him---so he had to get it right. The only problem was that Carter had always been the guy who’d screw up a kid’s pajama party if left to his own devices. He’d finally broken down and told Zoë, eliciting stunned silence, a minute of sulky mourning for the official death knell in her parental reunion fantasies, and then an immediate order to find Vincent and ask him to prepare the most romantic dinner he’s ever made in his life.

Carter hesitated---the truth was half the stuff at Café Diem scared the hell out of him. But when Zoe asked if he’d rather make Allison suffer through his cooking before he asked her to suffer through it the rest of her life, he’d agreed without hesitation.

Some things are just better left for after the honeymoon.

“So tomorrow night’s the big night, huh Sheriff?” Vincent smiled as he slid a white piece of paper in Carter’s direction. They sat at the front counter of the restaurant and Carter sipped his coffee as he glanced down at the neatly typed menu.

“Yes it is, and I can’t wait—“Carter frowned. “What’s a white truffle,” he asked looking up at Vincent.

Vincent’s forehead wrinkled for a brief moment then faded into a broad smile. “It’s only the most decadent, most luxurious and sought after edible fruiting body of the subterranean ascomycete fungi from the Piedmont regions of Italy.”

Carter stared at Vincent. “Uh huh.”

“They retail for $1,300 a pound.”

Carter looked down at the menu. “Riiiight.”

Vincent rolled his eyes and sighed. “They’re mushrooms.”

“Ah!” Carter pointed at Vincent and smiled. “Mushrooms, got it. Can I substitute spinach instead?”

“Okay, that’s it,” Vincent grabbed the menu from Carter’s hands. “Out.”

“What?” Carter rose to his feet. “Seriously, you’re kicking me out?”

“Absolutely---and don’t’ come back until tomorrow night.”

“Oh come on Vincent,” Carter said. “Where am I supposed to get coffee?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care. But if I see your face even once before this dinner, you’ll be dining on goose liver pate and haggis.”

Carter paused. “Right.” He frowned and shook his head. “What’s haggis?”

“Out!”

Now


Carter watched Allison frown over the print outs in silence. Honestly, he’d forgotten what was on the things the minute she opened the door. Allison’s hair was pulled back from her face in a low ponytail and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the soft skin on the curve of her neck. It conjured up all types of memories, most of which would probably make her blush and stutter with embarrassment.

Which would be sexy as hell.

“It looks like Dr. Porter was studying the affect on electronic pulses on certain regions of the brain. Particularly those associated with long and short term memory function.” Allison shuffled the papers and Carter struggled to focus on her words.

“Right,” he said. “Which would be---“He paused for a beat trying to pick up her train of thought. “Bad?”

“I’m not sure it’s bad or good to be honest,” she said with a sigh. “It’s good if we can find him and he can stop whatever’s going on around town. Bad if he can’t.”

“What if he’s the one that caused it---zapped your brain or whatever?” Allison looked up at Carter with clear irritation. “Sorry,” he said. “Your brain probably wasn’t zapped. Most likely it was---“Carter swallowed, looking up at the ceiling for inspiration. “Tickled---with electricity.”

“Oh shut up Jack,’ Allison said, rising to her feet. Carter looked at her, trying and failing to hide his smile. She frowned and shook her head. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Carter said. “You uh---you just called me Jack. You always call me Jack when you’re mad---”

“Stop it okay,” she snapped. “Stop talking to me about things I don’t remember. It’s bad enough the whole town’s losing their mind but I don’t need you---“

“No!” Allison froze at the sound of Kevin’s terrified voice. Carter rose to his feet as she moved towards the stairs. Allison stopped when he tried to follow.

“Carter, where are you going?”

“To check on Kevin.”

“I can take care of my own son,” she snapped. Carter frowned in confusion.

“Look, he’s obviously having a nightmare. Kevin knows me he---“

“God, would you cut it out,” Allison yelled. “Stop butting into my life like you belong here. I don’t know what happened before, or what relationship you think you have with my son but there is no way I’m letting you up those stairs. I cant’ deal with this Carter---not tonight.” Allison took a deep breath and gave him a stern glare. “I think you should leave now---I’ll call you in the morning about Dr. Porter’s research.” Carter didn’t speak as she turned around and disappeared upstairs. Her words cut him deep and he almost spun around and slammed the door on the way out. But instead he sat down and waited.

And waited.

Pushed the print outs around on the coffee table.

Picked them up and frowned at the word apraxia.

Put them down again.

And waited.

Allison walked down the stairs and took a deep breath when he rose from the chair. “Carter look---I’m sorr—“

“You don’t believe me,” Carter interrupted. Allison took the last few steps until she stood facing him in the living room, her arms crossed over her chest like a shield. “I mean,” Carter pointed at her. “On some level in that big brain of yours you know something’s wrong----but you don’t really believe you loved me do you?”

Allison blinked and looked away. “That’s not it,” she said, her voice so low he could barely hear. Carter moved towards her frowning.

“Well then what is it?”

Allison met his eyes and he was struck by how vulnerable she looked in that moment. “All this time we’ve known each other and you never once---“She paused and took a deep breath. “Well, call me old fashioned but you never even ask me out on a date,” she said with a laugh. “After a while I just figured you weren’t interested so I gave up----hoping.” Allison gestured towards his chest. “And then this morning you barge into my office and kiss me like---“she met his gaze, her lips parted and he knew she was remembering their kiss. Carter’s hands were stuffed in his pockets, balled into fists so he wouldn’t grab her and pull her into his arms. “You kissed me like I always wanted you to,” she said. “It’s not that I don’t believe I loved you Carter.” She smiled. “I just can’t believe you fell in love with me---that you wanted to marry me.”

Carter stared at Allison, his gaze so intense she looked away. “You were wearing a red dress with these little ties on the shoulder on our first date,” Carter said. Allison looked at him and he moved closer. “Your hair was longer back then---and you wore it curly and kind of---wild.” He paused and smiled. “You looked so beautiful I could barely talk for the first fifteen minutes at dinner.” Allison laughed and he reached out and took her hand in his. “Our second date was the night after that one,” he said. “And our third was the night after that. For two weeks we didn’t go a single night without being together Allie.”

Carter shook his head and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Allison watched and he lifted her hand to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand with reverence and looked up at her. “Your favorite color is lilac because your mother made you a purple dress when you were five that was your favorite for years. Your least favorite subject in college was biology, but you took it because you had a crush on a power forward that was taking the same professor.” Carter smiled. “He flunked out and you aced it then turned pre-med.”

Allison’s eyes grew wider with every statement he made. Carter reached up and touched her face. “Your father died when he fell asleep at the wheel driving home from a bar----and you hated him for a long time for leaving you and your mother on your own. You’ve never been on a rollercoaster because you hate heights but want to climb Mount Everest someday.” Her breath quickened and he slipped his arms around her waist. “You’ve got thirteen freckles across your nose and your eyes turn this amazing shade of golden brown when you’re doing something you love.” Carter lowered his lips until they were a breath away from hers. “And when I kiss you,” Carter whispered. “You make the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard.”

He kissed her gently, careful not to frighten her away, but making damn sure she knew how much he wanted her. And God, he wanted her. Just holding her again, breathing her scent---it had him hard and ready in an instant. She had to feel it---had to know what kind of affect she had on him. Allison whimpered and moaned, then parted her lips like she had so many times before. He accepted her invitation, and plunged his tongue inside, teasing her mouth with soft flicks before tasting her completely. She’d been eating something sweet (Skittles most likely---she ate them when she was nervous) and he reveled in the flavor, taking his time to explore her mouth with slow longs strokes.

He felt her hands rest at the small of his back, then move up his spine and back down again. Allison pressed her hips against his legs and he smiled at her obvious impatience for more. He caressed the nape of her neck and leaned back to look down at her. “This spot,” he said, finding the small indention underneath her ear. “Makes you shiver when I kiss it---like this,” he said, pressing his lips against it. Allison gasped and then shivered when he flicked it with his tongue. She pulled at the shirt of his uniform, and slid her hands underneath to touch his bare skin. Carter let his hands drop to cup her behind and he nuzzled her neck as he spoke.

“I love everything about you Allison,” he said, pressing her against him. “Especially how it feels when I’m inside you.” She was still wearing her skirt from work and he pushed her back towards the couch as he gathered the fabric in his hands. It slid up inch by inch, revealing smooth brown thighs he’d spent hours between---reveling in the warmth of her body. He lowered her down to the oversized cushions, slid between her legs and ground against her. Allison moaned as she spread her legs wider, her skirt hiked up around her waist. Carter kissed her again as he unfastened the buttons of her blouse, slowly revealing the white lace of her bra.

He ran his hand over her chest, tracing the rough edge of the fabric before he dove underneath to find one hard, sensitive nipple. Carter’s eyes found hers as he stroked the tip and traced the raised outline of her areola. A soft sheen of sweat covered her skin and she writhed against him, gripping his hips with her thighs. He loved her like this---frantic with need---none of her usual careful control. Carter lowered his lips to flick his tongue over her nipple and she gasped, then cupped his head to hold him close to her breast. He tended to dusky brown tip with care, swirling his tongue around it before taking it deep into his mouth. Allison mumbled his name over and over and a few other choice words Carter had trouble understanding. Her movements against his body became more demanding, and he knew from past experience that she was close to taking over----pushing him on his back and having her way with him.

Which he seriously enjoyed on occasion.

But right now he was determined to keep control. Carter leaned up and unbuttoned his shirt as Allison shrugged her blouse from her shoulders. He reached down to grab her skirt and she lifted her hips to help him slide it down her legs. He ran his hands over the her underwear, a satiny white pair that he vaguely remembered removing in the back of his police Jeep once or twice, and paused to stroke her mound through the fabric. Allison bit down on her lower lips, her eyes fixed on his hand which kneaded and massaged her with steady strokes of his fingers. Carter traced the edge of the panties near her inner thigh before diving beneath and sliding his hand along her sex. She was so wet it made gooseflesh rise on his arms. His hands shook as he pulled the underwear down her hips, revealing the dark shadow of her mound. Carter’s eyes flicked up to find hers for a moment before he lowered his head to her tempting folds, sliding his tongue along the swollen lips until he found sensitive bundle of nerves he sought. He took her clit into his mouth and Allison cried out---not as loud as she did when she came but loud nevertheless.

“Shhh,” he whispered, deliberately mumbling against her sex. The vibrations make her squirm and pant and Carter smiled before taking her clit into his mouth again. He teased and suckled the small nub---swirling his tongue in small circles around it before taking it into his mouth once more. His hand drifted to her slit, stroking the opening before exploring the warm wet canal that beckoned---begging for him to sink deep inside. Allison began to tremble and he added another finger, thrusting them deep and pressing against her g-spot as he lapped at her clit. She turned her face to the side, grabbed a large pillow and smothered her scream as she came. Her body arched off the bed and Carter never paused, his tongue still working her while the orgasm flowed through her body.

When she finally collapsed he lifted his head with a broad grin. Allison looked at him, her face sweaty and flushed---her cheeks read with embarrassment. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t tell you I---“

“I know Allie,” he said, in the middle of a trail of kisses he began to leave up her stomach. “That’s why we always went to file room.” He reached up and brushed her hair back from her face, lowering his lips to her neck. “It’s sound proof,” he mumbled against her skin. Her hands were at his waist, pulling at the thick brown belt looped through his pants. Carter’s breath came out in a long hiss as she pulled down his zipper and pushed his pants and underwear down over his hips. He lifted his gaze to meet hers as Allison rubbed her sex against the tip of his cock. “I love you Allison,” he whispered.

Allison’s eyes glazed with tears and she touched his cheek. “I know.” He thrust deep inside her, gripping her hips and lifting her pelvis at an angle. She moaned as he hit her g-spot, over and over with steady, hard thrusts. He made love to her the way she wanted----no hesitation, no fast and slow bursts---just steady deep, hard strokes of his cock coupled with the constant friction of his body against her clit. She was already pulsing on his shaft---so close that he covered her mouth with his to swallow the scream that could come at any minute.

Allison gasped, bucked up against him and clawed at his shoulders as she was gripped in the first wave of her release. She screamed, a low guttural sound from deep in her chest that was so damn sexy he lost what little control he had left. He pumped inside her in erratic, frantic thrusts of his hips and then came suddenly, his muscles clenched with pleasure. Carter collapsed on top of her, careful not to crush her beneath his weight, and waited for his heart to stop racing like crazy in his chest. Their breathing began to slow and Carter let himself revel in familiar feeling of her skin against his for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.

Then


“So what’s this big surprise you’ve got planned for tomorrow night?” Allison smiled at Carter through the video phone and he wiggled his eyebrows in his best Groucho Marx imitation.

“Ah you can’t stand it can you? Not knowing what I’ve got planned—“

She rolled her eyes. “You know how I am Jack---I can’t even keep wrapped presents under my Christmas tree for more than two days without tearing them open.”

Carter frowned. “Aren’t the gifts under your tree for other people?”

Allison lifted her hand and nodded. “I rest my case.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be worth the wait, I promise,” Carter said. “Just make sure you show up at Café Diem around seven. Vincent’s already banned me from the place until then so I really need to get back on his good side.”

Allison smiled. “Oh don’t you worry---I’ll be here working into the wee hours of the night, so there’s not a damn thing that’ll stop me from making it to that restaurant on time.”

“Loud and clear beautiful,” Carter said. “I love you Allie.”

“I love you too Jack.” Allison turned off the phone and sat silent, smiling down at her desk. She glanced at her left hand, rubbed the bare skin on her ring finger, then shook her head and laughed. “Stop daydreaming Allison,” she said with a sigh. Allison glanced at the picture of her and Carter on her desk and smiled. “But maybe one day.”

Now

Carter opened his eyes slowly and was greeted with the back of Allison’s head. Her shoulders rose and fell with each breath, indicating she was still sound asleep. They’d moved to her bedroom sometime during the night---where he’d made love to her twice more before they both collapsed in an exhausted heap. His arm was wrapped around her waist and he moved to pulled her closer, but flinched as a dull ache at the base of his head blossomed across his skull.

Carter remembered the Advil Allison usually kept in her kitchen drawer, slid out of the bed, and grabbed his pants from the floor. He padded barefoot down the hall, his mind racing with all he had to do that day---including calling the florist like Allison asked him to and finalizing any leave he needed to take with the Marshal’s office. Carter groaned as he was gripped in another wave of pain, this one so intense his stomach rolled with nausea. “What the hell,” he whispered as he stumbled towards the kitchen.

Graduation---had he forgot to get Zoe a present yesterday?

“Sheriff Carter.”

Carter turned and squinted at the small figure standing near the large bay window in Allison’s kitchen. The sunlight hurt his eyes and he shaded them as he struggled to focus. Carter shook his head in confusion. “Faith?”

She stepped forward, her small face upturned to meet his eyes. “Did you make her remember?”

“Make who---what the hell are you doing here,” Carter asked. “How the hell did you get in?”

“She has to remember,” Faith said. “She loves you Jack.”

“Jack?” Carter turned at Allison’s voice. She wore thick blue robe which she belted at her waist and frowned at him, her eyes still foggy from sleep. “Who are you talking to?”

“Allison,” Carter said. He swallowed hard, his body breaking out in a cold sweat as another wave of pain attacked his skull. “Faith,” he said. “She’s---here.”

“Who?” Allison stepped forward and Carter rubbed his eyes and looked up at her again.

“Her,” he said, pointing to Faith. “I was talking to her.”

Allison stared at where he pointed and shook her head. “Carter there’s no one there.”

Carter looked at her and then at Faith who met his gaze with a blank expression. “She has to remember Jack,” she said. Carter turned to Allison, and his gaze drifted down to her left hand. He frowned, his voice hoarse as he spoke.

“Where’s your ring?”

Carter cried out as another wave of pain gripped him. The room started to spin and the floor shifted beneath his feet. He could hear Allison saying his name---but she sounded far away. Her face flashed in his mind like rapid clips from a movie---they came fast---so fast it hurt.

Carter felt the coolness of her kitchen floor tiles against his cheek and realized he was on the floor. He tried to speak but nothing came out. He couldn’t focus----so many thoughts in his head---too much to say---it was all too much.

Allison?