Oreo. Wanna-be. Traitor.

All names I have been called at one time or another. Of course, these are some of the nice names. The reason for the names? It is really simple actually. I do not fit the narrow scope of what being an African American woman supposedly means. I do not act "ratchet" or "ghetto." (Which is not a bad thing in itself there is just a time and a place for everything.) I usually use proper English and grammar and have been told by almost everyone that I sound like a white girl. I personally think I sound like I have some common sense but it is whatever. I listen to all kinds of music I just prefer not to be cursed out or told all I am good for is sex. Sorry if that offends anyone but I am not sorry about the way I feel.

Do not get me started on men and dating. For all the men out there just because I choose to not only date black men does not mean I have an identity crisis. All it means is that I am open to dating anyone I feel with a connection to. Second, just because I date outside my race does not mean I am not attracted Black men. Definitely not true, that would be like saying just because I like chicken means I do not like steak and vice versa. Variety is the spice of life and I am not going to miss enjoy it because it upsets other people. If I lived like that, let us just say life would be really boring and depressed.

It took me years to come to terms with the fact that I do not society's expectations and to be okay with that. In all honest it was not until I met my best friends. But now that I have accepted who I am, I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel bad about it. So for the people who think they have the right to tell me how to live my life. I have two words for you.

FUCK OFF.

This Oreo is proud of who she is and nothing is going to changes that.

Where do I stand?

In this so-called war of light skin vs dark skin where do I stand? As a brown-skinned woman, I find myself asking this question. I cannot really relate to the struggles that dark-skinned women face in a society and culture that seems to go out of their way to those that are darker feel like they are not enough. However by the same token, I cannot really relate to the struggle of light-skinned women face from the same society that makes them feel like they are not black enough because of their skin tone. As a brown-skinned woman, I find I identify with aspects of both sides: I see the media tendency to place lighter skinned women on a pedestal while at the same time demonizing those who are darker. Think about it in the majority of the rap and r&b videos. The lighter skinned women portray all the positive qualities in the videos and darker skinned women portray the negative qualities. At the same time because I am on the lighter side of brown and my hair is not the normal texture that is associated with black women I have been asked on more than a few occasions if I am mixed with something as if my hair texture and slightly lighter tone makes me less black. While I can relate to both sides at the same time, I relate to neither.

When discussions on colorism in the black community take place, there is always representation for those who are dark and those who are light. Rarely, however, in the conversation are those who are neither very light nor very dark. Although we do not face the exact same issues as those who can definitively call themselves as light or dark, we face problems often ignored or glossed over. As a brown-skinned woman, I have the benefit of not having my quote blackness questioned. Which I am grateful for believe me. However, every so often when people go I am team Dark skin or team Light skin, I do not often hear team brown skin. Of course, right after this thought pops in my head I think shut up stupid why is there even a team light skin or team dark skin, we are all Black.

Which makes me wonder why skin tone even matters in the first place? What is so special or even important about light or dark if in the eyes of mainstream media we are all seen the same way? Why continue with the nonsense when it does nothing to benefit our people but instead brings us down and makes us look at each other side-eye and crazy. Shouldn't we be focused on improving ourselves as a people and not focused on the differences between us?

But damn it why can't someone acknowledge me and my issues too?