Jason

“Alright” I sighed and clasped my hands together; smiling at the sight of the new young men I had brought aboard for my new project. “Before I start assigning you all official jobs, I’d like to formally introduce myself”

Nearly seventeen years after Keyshia and I got married, a huge change in my life had happened. Now, of course, things certainly happened in between. Drastic things, actually. But around the time our daughter was getting ready to graduate high school, my story became something that I felt needed to be told again. 

In front of me stood twenty young men of varying races, all within the ages of sixteen to twenty. All of them were in my hotel to serve the same simple purpose: to take care of their households. About a year ago, something came to me in my sleep telling me to start this program. It was a random idea. Just basically guiding me to form something along the lines of hiring young men in high-risk communities (more specifically, men of color). Not only that, but to also give them a bona fide career boost. The morning after the idea came to me, I hopped out of bed and excitedly began my research. 

First, I compiled a list of who exactly I wanted to help and what sort of incentives I needed to put out there to conjure up my perfect pool of applicants. Secondly, I gathered a team of youth counselors from these communities, marketing professionals, a few pastors, and even local educators that could help give me pointers on how I could execute this in a way that would make history. In this day and age, many celebrities are out there looking for philanthropic opportunities and ways to give back…but I really wanted to make an impact. I had more money than ever. The hotel business was booming. I had hundreds of properties spread across six continents and I had reached the goal of having one in each borough along with having several in South America as well. Needless to say, I grew very proud myself. 

My father and I learned to compromise at some point—just as a quick recap on what went down after the whole “disowning me” ordeal. After getting back in my mother’s good graces, he became a new man. Shit was unreal. Jack Jameson was the happiest I’d ever seen him! Alessandra certainly put him through the wringer in order for them to even consider a potential relationship and I was proud of her for doing that. At the time, he barely deserved to be in the same room as her. But that’s a story for another day. 

Point of the matter is…he and I learned how to become business partners again. And once my old man turned fifty-five, he completely retired…leaving me as the CEO and sole-proprietor owner of Jameson Suites. Over the years, I learned to take the stress off of me by hiring an entourage as well as other managerial positions. Only thing I was left with was pulling all the strings behind-the-scenes. I handled very controlled public appearances, certain financial decisions, and most importantly…international business. 

All in all, Jameson Suites had hit its peak. Billions a year came in as revenue and my company’s net worth was more than I could possibly ask for. Ever since I graduated Harvard Business School and started truly following in my elders’ shadows, I knew it was important to give back. My father, grandfather, great-grand, and so on could careless about where they were giving back and who the money was going to; as long as it was documented and publicized. i, on the other hand, put money into hundreds of charities. Even ones that were barely heard of. As an anonymous donor, of course. 

How could the world possibly become a better place if the unhealthy cycle of wealth distribution was never broken?

“I am Jason Jameson, as I’m sure all of you already know…and I am your new employer. Forget whatever you’ve seen on TV about me, please. As your boss, I am all about business and doing what it takes to succeed. Any questions before I explain how we’re going to do this?”  

A pause ensued. These boys were as nervous as can be. Standing in front of me was a great honor to them it seemed. One word, they probably thought, would screw this opportunity up for them. 

“Uh..” One of them, a tall hispanic guy, began to speak. “Mr. Jameson, I know I applied for this job but it never said anything about what we’re supposed to be doing. I just was desperate to take care of my family, man.” 

Scratching my freshly shaven face, I smiled a little. “Yes. All of you applied for a vague job opening I posted a few months ago. I kept it vague so that I knew I had all of your best interests at heart. Each and every one of you that applied did not care about what the work entailed, just that it paid and was guaranteed financially stability. To me, that is admirable and it tells me a lot. It shows me that I did good in selecting hard-working individuals.”

The next thirty minutes or so was spent telling them about the different jobs they’ll be doing. I made sure to select young men that had good heads on their shoulders. Men that knew the value of hard work whether it was academic or job-related. I picked them based off of their resilience, tenacity, and selflessness. Once my team started to sift through the thousands of applicants, I had to become super fucking picky to narrow it down to who I truly needed to work for me. I wanted nothing more than for this program to succeed. It would open so many eyes around the country. I hoped that it would inspire other businesses to give kids in high-risk communities a try. 

The scholarship program I had simply wasn’t enough. I wanted to be more proactive. 

All of these ideas of giving back to the community not only came from something within but also from my beautiful ex-wife. Yes, you heard that right. Keyshia and I are divorced. Temporarily, I hope…but that is my current status with her. Once again, a long story. 

After explaining to my new group of protégées what they’ll be doing (security detail, working in some of the front lobbies at different properties, and even handling corporate affairs), I got my personal tailor to fit them for suits. Following that, I held them for another few minutes to lecture them. What I had to say next was the most important thing they needed to hear that day. 

“This opportunity I am giving you is once in a lifetime, young men. My team and I, for the past year, have worked long hours putting things in place to get you here. Please take that into consideration if you somehow find yourselves in a position that would bring trouble into your lives.”

 I took a breath of air to take the time to gauge their reactions. They patiently stood there, quiet, taking all of this in. I’m sure they’ll open up eventually. 

“With that being said, I also want to remind you that you all signed confidentiality agreements before you walked into my office. So me saying what I have to say next will never leave this room. Understood?” 

A collective “yes and yes sir” filled the room. 

“Okay. Perfect…” My next move was to take my phone out of my pant pocket and text Sydney, my teenage daughter. I quickly sent a message to her telling her to meet me in my office. 

A minute of silence passed before she casually strolled in. Took her a second before she realized that she walked in on something important. 

“Uh…hey dad” 

Jarrell 

All the shit Jameson was throwing at us was definitely overwhelming but in the same breath…perfectly doable. With the right training. Homie was literally, hands-down, providing us with everything. For him pulling me out of the situation I was in and giving me an opportunity for redemption, I truly felt like I owed him my life. Getting recruited for this job was like hitting the fucking jackpot! I hit gold with this one! All I had to do was follow his rules and work as hard as I possibly could. 

My grandmother told me at least a hundred times not to screw this up before I showed up to the first interview. You can only imagine how many times she’s said it now that I actually have the job. Being that I was the sole breadwinner for the house, I was always put under so much stress. At wits end, I even considered dropping out of high school. That’s when I saw the ad for this opening. 

Long story short, I put all of my focus and energy into being a good candidate. So much that I was able to land it and hopefully stop my grandma’s house in the Bronx from being foreclosed on. 

This job was gonna be a piece of cake, I thought, until his daughter walked in. I went from not knowing she even existed to being on some love at first sight type of shit. That girl had to be, without a doubt, the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid my eyes on. And judging by how I saw the rest of the guys looking at her, I wasn’t the only one who felt like that. 

At some point, I had to physically force myself to focus my attention back on Mr. Jameson. 

“Everyone” he began speaking again. “I’d like to introduce you to my daughter, Sydney Jameson. I’ve managed to keep her out of the public eye as my daughter since she was born so if any of this gets out…not only will you be fired, but legal action will be aggressively taken against you.” 

I could practically hear the big ass gulps everyone took. My guy wasn’t fucking around with his kid…but it still, for some reason, didn’t stop me from checking her out. I found it impossible to ignore baby girl’s beauty. 

Sydney stood pretty tall for a chick, closer to her dad’s height I’d say….so maybe 5’10 or 5’11. Her flawless skin was a darker olive tone with honey undertones. Long black hair full of loose curls sprouted from her scalp in no particular direction, stretching all the way past her shoulders. Her face was kind and soft, very welcoming. She had an average build, maybe a little athletic. Shorty had legs for days.

Nervously, she quickly smiled and waved at everyone. I could tell she didn’t expect to walk in on her dad holding a meeting of some sort. 

“My daughter is one hundred percent off limits. I don’t want any of you making passes at her, looking at her with lustful glances, bothering her, trying to be her friend…any of that. The only one of you that will be approved to have basic interaction with her is whoever I assign for her security detail.”

Holy shit. He really wasn’t fucking around.

“I personally have nothing against any of you but I am saying this to avoid fraternization accusations. Once again, and I hope I am making myself clear because this will be the last time I say this…interacting with my daughter is prohibited. No if, ands, or buts about it. Is this understood?” He sternly asked. 

A few of us nodded our heads…the rest shakily said “yes” out loud. 

JARRELL THOMPSON

JASON JAMESON

SYDNEY JAMESON

KEYSHIA JAMESON

Keyshia 

After Sydney was out the door to go to school, I began reflecting on the estranged relationship between Jason and I. Every day, without fail, my heart broke all over again. I hated living without him being present in my life. Of course he took care of me like he promised (although I refused the assistance) and he made sure Sydney got whatever her heart desired…but that wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to mend things. 

The first ten years of our marriage was solid as a rock. No relationship is perfect, but ours damn near was. Especially when you take into account all of the stuff we’d been through. After living in Brazil for five years, we were sort of forced to move back to my hometown of New York City. 

Because I had devastatingly lost two children to miscarriages, Jason felt more comfortable going back home to figure out what the hell was going on with me. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. Carrying children was never going to be the same for me again. As if that weren’t bad enough, Jason and I were stubborn about having kids. We wanted more! So we kept trying..and trying…and trying. Up until I was on my fourth miscarriage. I couldn’t do it anymore. Each one tore me to pieces and I was tired of it by the time we were eleven years into our marriage. Jason had gotten busier with work, meaning I got just as busy. Adoption became an option but it had went on the back burner for a while.

Anyways, Alessandra had already beat us to New York once we decided to move back. His mother admittedly fell back under Jack’s spell so it made the move that much easier. Sydney loved her vovó and didn’t want anything less than to see her everyday. 

No more than a month of being back in the states, not only did Jason and his father work out their differences…Jack and Alessandra got married. I could not believe it. I still thought she was too good for him and it was baffling that she allowed herself to be another one of Jack’s wives. I couldn’t hate too much though— they looked ridiculously happy and stupidly in love. She managed to turn Jack Jameson into someone I’d never met before. He was no longer Jack “The Asshole” Jameson. He was a tolerant, charismatic, generous businessman who was ready to retire and leave everything to his trustworthy son. 

Jack even asked Jason at some point to start training our daughter on the ins and outs of the hospitality business; insinuating that he was okay with Syd running things some day. I didn’t mind him teaching her some things since it was basically in her blood to do something along those lines. I had already stripped her of being a child heiress. Her and Jason needed to bond and him showing her the works wouldn’t hurt. 

As far as privacy and being seen out in public goes, that continued being a feat for us. Jason wanted to take Sydney out to the park and other places a father would normally take their daughter…as well as vacations. It may seem absurd but the only way I felt comfortable with him doing that was if he told everyone that she was his goddaughter when questioned about it. Which, of course, bought up a huge fight when I first suggested it. He claimed that I was ashamed of him and that it didn’t feel right..

But he eventually did it. 

Thinking back on all of this stuff saddened me. I was the reason things ended. I was an awful wife who made life so much harder than it needed to be. Instead of going on “family” vacations, I stayed behind. Instead of going with them to the park, I stayed behind. So on, and so forth. It was crazy!! I hated myself for that. 

Once Sydney was in middle school, things took a slow turn for the worst. 

_____________________________________________________________________

*****The day that started the gradual decline was the night I agreed to go with Jason to a black and white gala that was being hosted by another A-list celebrity****

 I remember him showing up to my Manhattan townhome with a gorgeous white lace dress and a pair of designer pumps that were to die for.  

God, how could I forget that cheeky smile when he saw how over it I was. Without officially inviting him in, he ecstatically walked past me into the home and continued smiling at me as he held up the outfit. Dressed in a casual pair of light blue jeans and a tan henley tee, Jason easily fit in with the rest of of the pedestrians on the street.

“Jason…”

“Baby you haven’t gone to an event with me since my dad’s retirement party. So I think you owe me this. C’mon..we’ll have loads of fun” he tried to convince me before I had the chance to protest. 

“Where’s Sydney?” It was the summertime and she usually spent the whole summer living at his condo whenever he wasn’t working. Of course she liked his place better. 

“With Bernie..she’s in good hands” he quickly replied, referring to our babysitter. “So what do ya say??”

I looked at his sexy little smirk with an unenthusiastic facial expression. He knew I’d give in after a few seconds but I still liked to make him sweat. 

“Ughhhh..ok! But you already know the rules.”

And by rules I meant: no getting drunk, no taking tons of pictures together, no obvious public displays of affection, no mentions of our private life, and no loving stares from across the room. 

“Yeah yeah…now start getting ready. I’m way too anxious to see you in this dress” Jason grinned.

Before I took the dress from him, I leaned in and placed a nice lengthy kiss on his awaiting lips. “It’s hard to resist you Jason”

He pulled me back as I started to retreat, grabbing me into a more sensual kiss. Which, in turn, forced him to gently place the expensive dress’ garment bag on the foyer table. Jason wrapped his arm around my lower back and pulled me even closer to him. 

Next thing I know, he picked me up and carefully walked with me into the neighboring living room area. 

First my soft v-neck shirt was skillfully taken off and tossed to the side…then my comfy grey Soffe shorts. They found themselves on the hardwood floor next to the couch after Jason finally laid me down and positioned himself on top of me.

Of course one thing led to another and we made hot, passionate, sweaty love for the next thirty minutes or so. Like I stated before, it was hard resisting this man. And it was also nice to have time to ourselves without our sweetheart of an eleven-year-old being anywhere near us. 

The next hour was spent getting ready. It didn’t really take much of an effort for Jason to be fully ready. After countless events, he’d drop by my house afterwards…leaving plenty of suits and tuxedos behind. As any other great assistant would do, I dry-cleaned all of them out of habit; meaning there was a black tuxedo readily available for him in his closet. 

Being the perfect man he is, he summoned our makeup artist at the last minute and gave her a healthy tip for her services. Since I was wearing white, I went for a very soft look with nude glossy lips and barely noticeable lash definition. Natalie doubled as a hair stylist so putting my hair up into an elegant updo with tousled bangs wasn’t too much to ask for from her. The both of us cleaned up so nicely that I couldn’t help but to wonder how great of a couple we’d be if I actually wanted to be about that celebrity life.  

I stared in the full length mirror at my final look with a grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s. 

“You look drop-dead gorgeous” Jason said, voicing my own thoughts. He came up behind me smelling divine and making eye contact with me through the mirror. “I need you to know that I’m going to be spending the rest of my night holding myself back from ripping this dress right off of you.”

“Ditto, baby” He looked like a model straight off the cover of GQ with that tux on and freshly shaven face. Careful not to mess up any of my makeup, Jason softly placed a kiss on the back of my neck; inhaling my Dior perfume in the same breath. With a quick groan, he backed away from me and started heading towards the door. Keys in hand. But before he did that, he playfully slapped and grabbed my ass…making me yelp and shoo him away. 

Thankfully there weren’t too many people out there on the sidewalk so our transition from the house to the awaiting town car was effortless.

Arriving to the event center was another story. As soon as we pulled up, there were so many flashes from cameras that I found it hard to see exactly where we were. 

“Alright…you know the drill. I’ll go out there, show my face on the red carpet for a little bit, then I’ll meet you at the bar in fifteen minutes. Okay?” Jason turned to me to see how I felt about that, knowing full well he wanted me to go out on the carpet with him. 

I nervously squeezed his hand and breathed in a deep breath. “Yeah, sounds great.”

“Look at me” he took ahold of my chin and guided my head towards him. “We’re gonna have fun tonight. After the red carpet, no one gives a shit who you are, who you came with..any of that. Everyone is here for a good time.”

“If you say so, Jason.” 

“Alright, my beautiful wife. I love you” he reassured, placing a quick peck on my lips afterwards. In a matter of less than thirty seconds, our driver had came around to open Jason’s door and he was gone. Just like that. 

Once Gerard got back in the car, he obediently drove to the side entrance of the building and opened the door for me. One of the employees who— no doubt, spoke to Jason—met me almost immediately. The short middle-eastern woman confirmed my identity; then she grabbed my hand and led me into the building. 

Oh man, the setting was perfectly extravagant. Dimly lit chandeliers dangled from the highly-arched ceilings. Jazz music caressed my eardrums with its relaxing tones and chords. I peeped the pianist, harpist, and saxophonist from the corner of my eye doing their best to provide a great musical setting. Caterers smoothly walked around with their white tuxedos and dresses, making sure each guest was satisfied with their hors d’oeuvres. 

High profile celebrities and other well-known millionaires walked around, socializing and mingling in the process. While taking all of these surreal sites in, I made my way over to the rather large bar area and waited for Jason. I didn’t see him yet, letting me know he was probably still caught up with the paparazzi. Only thing left to do was to sit down and order something. Didn’t want to look too suspicious. 

After sitting down on the velvet coated barstool, I placed my clutch purse in front of me and got the bartender’s attention. She quickly took my order of a dirty martini and got back to making the drinks of other guests that got there before me. 

It wasn’t too long after I sat down that I heard the voice of another female calling my name. 

And what do you know? Alyssa Cambridge, ex-girlfriend of Jason, stood not even ten inches from me. I thought I’d never see her again. By now, she should be a washed up Victoria’s Secret model at her age. 

“Alyssa?”

“Yeah…wow, us running into each other is so crazy to me. I was just thinking about Jason not too long ago” she said. I couldn’t really tell if she was being shady or not but I wondered what the hell she was thinking about Jason for. Their relationship barely survived its first month!

Alyssa looked okay for her age. She still looked to be a size four but other than that, she looked pretty basic. She chose to wear a long black below-the-knee silk dress to this event. It was tight and hugged whatever curves she think she had. 

“How is he?” She interrupted my thoughts and sat beside me on an open stool.

“He’s doing great” Jason suddenly appeared, answering for me. I looked up at him and nearly broke my own rule of showcasing a loving gaze. Jason never failed to always be right on time for me. 

“Jason!” Alyssa exclaimed. “My god, I thought I’d never see you again! May I?” 

The nerve of her to ask me can she hug my husband, I thought as the bartender sat my drink in front of me. If I didn’t think she was being shady before, I definitely thought so now. 

“I don’t own him” I shrugged, displaying a fake ass smile and taking a sip of the delicious martini. 

It was like I could barely get my sentence out before she threw herself into Jason’s arms. Although he was caught off guard, he gave her a pity pat on the back. He certainly looked annoyed by her. 

Alyssa could see that she wasn’t very welcome in our presence so she took her cocktail and excused herself soon after. Jason sat beside me, slowly easing his wandering hand down the length of my thigh. 

“I checked in on Sydney…Bernie set up a movie night sleepover thing for her and her friends. So she’ll be busy until tomorrow morning.” 

“Sounds good” I nodded. “You look really handsome, Jason. Thanks for bringing me. No one seems to care we’re here together. I love it.”

“Told you” he smirked. He then took my hand and playfully did one of those Pepé Le Pew moves where he kissed all the way from my hand up to my neck. Laughing out loud, I flirtatiously pushed him away. 

“Wanna dance?” 

Of course I did. In the rare instance that Jason and I could openly be a couple, my heart was filled with joy. I was in no way ashamed of him, our relationship, or our little family. I loved him and Sydney more than myself. God I hated hurting them with my anxieties and fears. In a perfect world, I’d woman the fuck up and tell the world the truth! 

Jason took my hand in his and guided me towards the ballroom. Another, more lively, jazz ensemble played an upbeat song that had the couples on the dance floor dancing with lots of pep in their steps. I followed Jason to the middle of the floor and started moving along to the beat. Halfway into the song, a colleague of his spotted him and basically stole him from me. Tended to happen whenever we came to these kinds of events. As if he were on cue, Jason mouthed “i’ll be back” before being dragged over to the other side of the room.

In the meantime, I awkwardly stood there with folded arms. But after five minutes of turning down dance requests, I found myself grabbing a fluke of champagne from a waiter. About to walk over to an empty table to seat myself, a familiar voice appearance once again.

“Alone?” 

I gave Alyssa a look of annoyance. “For a few minutes, yes.”

She followed me over to the empty table I spotted and sat down without an invitation. 

“Suuuure. I’ve been to plenty of these events with different men and let me tell you, Keyshia, they all do the same thing. He doesn’t mean to, but Jason is as high-profile as they come. Everyone wants the chance to talk to him. So he’ll probably be gone for a bit if we’re being honest with ourselves.” She glanced at him talking on the other side of the beautifully decorated room.

“What do you want Alyssa?”

“I don’t want anything except to let bygones be bygones between us. I mean, it’s clear that you don’t like me for some reason…when in reality I should be the one not liking you.”

“Excuse me??” I was taken aback. Seriously girl?

“And before you bite my head off…please hear me out. When I was dating Jason, I kidded myself into believing that I wasn’t just a rebound. Man, he was such a nice guy. I knew he didn’t intentionally want to hurt me, but he broke my heart believe it or not. He never confirmed it, Keyshia, but I could tell he was in love with you. Especially after seeing you in his apartment that night. I went home crying my eyeballs out. It hit me like a ton of bricks knowing that me and him could never have a future.”

Hearing her side of the story was…unexpected. All I saw her as was not only a rebound…but a roadblock in our story. Now knowing that she had actual feelings for him and felt like that was hard to hear. Damn.

“I never told anyone about you guys’ relationship by the way. I liked the two of you. You never did anything malicious towards me and I’m a good enough person to not do that type of exposure. Also, your story is not mines to tell.” She looked down at the huge ring on my finger, making me self-consciously cover it up. “Congrats on your marriage. Your daughter is beautiful.”

Speechless, the only words I could mutter out of my mouth were “thank you”. 

“No problem, girl.” She smiled. “Now that that’s out of the way, I’m extending an invite to get you loosened up and to have some fucking fun for once. Sitting here waiting for him to come over is boring. Me and a bunch of other girls are gonna make use of the open bar and then head to an afterparty once we’re done.”

“Oh…” I focused my attention on Jason chatting it all the way up with yet another douche in a suit. “I don’t know”

“When was the last time you truly had fun?” Alyssa pressed. 

Biting my lip, I took a few seconds to come up with a decision. “Yeah, ok. Alright. But I’m leaving whenever I want to. Don’t even bother trying to stop me. This was supposed to be a night reserved for me and him.”

“Understood…now, let’s go!” 

An hour into “having some fucking fun for once”, I was shocked to say the least. What I saw before me was the craziest shit I’d seen in a while. Jason always invited me to these parties, but I never really came of course. And when I did, I stuck by his side. We were like an old married couple…but guess what? We stayed out of trouble. 

I may have been drunk as hell, but certainly not drunk enough to partake in the activities unfolding in front of my eyes. 

“Keyshia! This one’s for you!!” Alyssa all but screamed over the loud rap music blasting in the nightclub she took me to. We had met up with a few of her “friends” as soon as we walked in the place. They were seated behind red velvet burgundy VIP ropes; hooting and hollering like a bunch of chicks attending a bachelorette’s party. 

My eyes widened to the size of saucers when I looked down at the white powdery substance openly chopped up on the table. I mean, it was just sitting there. The bouncers in that joint clearly didn’t give two shits about drug usage. My eyes grew even wider when Alyssa’s crazy ass took the rolled up fifty dollar bill from the girl next to her and quickly bent down for a rather lengthy hit of the coke. 

“Goddamn that felt good!” she shrieked before directing her dilated pupils towards me. “Just one hit, Keyshia. It’ll make all of your anxieties and worries go away..” 

Stunned and too taken aback to speak, I managed to utter out a quick “no thanks”. I needed to get the hell out of there immediately. Before I had the chance to text Jason, Alyssa grabbed my hand and gave me a deep sincere apology for attempting to coerce me into taking drugs. I don’t know why I believed her, but I shrugged my shoulder and went back to sipping on my rum and coke. Alcohol was much safer than whatever they were doing although the high they were experiencing looked weirdly enticing…

Ten minutes later is when I felt it. 

I wanted to dance, no…I wanted to scream!! Or maybe punch someone? Hell, it felt like I could run ten miles and not even be tired. That’s how invigorating and energetic I felt. Everything moved in slow-motion. I think I saw surreal colors and images at some point??? There were moments where I seemed to have forgotten where I was. One second I was sitting in VIP, another I was on the dance floor with my hands on my knees; backing my ass up onto an unknown fella. I danced for what felt like hours with whoever I could find. I hadn’t felt so wild and free in years, my god. 

What the hell had gotten into me? I questioned a few times to myself throughout the night. Jason called my phone while I sipped on another one of those magic rum and cokes. He informed me that he was coming to pick me up as soon as possible, but I didn’t want to leave. I thought I was having the time of my life!

Around midnight, Jason, my beautiful knight in shining armor, showed up practically dragging me out of the club—or so it felt like. Once he had me in the town car safe and sound, I flirtatiously started placing kisses on whatever part of him I could get my hands on. My euphoric thoughts and feelings quickly transformed into the horniest I’d ever been. Jason was a good-looking man, but what my “drunk” eyes saw was the most beautiful man in the world. Who happened to be my husband. 

“Jason..” I slurred. “Ohhhh Jason, my fine ass husband. How was the rest of the event?”

He looked at me with eyes full of concern. “Baby…you’re drunk as fuck”.

“Yes yes. I know, but I want you…” I purred, maneuvering into a position that would allow me to give him a blowjob. All that needed to be done was for him to unzip the zipper to his slacks. “Let us end this night with a bang” 

I guess Jason figured I was coherent enough to initialize sex because the look I gave him caused his eyes to darken. He took a few seconds to caress my cheek before undoing his button and zipper. I hastily moved his hands aside and freed his dick on my own. As if I had an insatiable thirst for this man, I wasted no time getting down to business. I tried to start out slow and controlled but it quickly escalated into a sloppy top mixed with a handjob. Jason hadn’t got the works from me in a minute, so of course his reaction had heart eyes written all over it. He was squirming, groaning, and moaning so much that I thought the man was gonna magically combust. 

To stop himself from prematurely coming, Jason grabbed me and aggressively positioned me on top of him. I adjusted myself so that I was straddling the sides of his hips. 

Let’s just say he finally caved in and ripped that expensive ass dress right off of me. 

***************************** 

Next thing I remember was groggily waking up the next morning with a headache that pounded from every crevice of my skull. Jason rested peacefully beside me, occasionally letting out a soft snore. 

I sat myself up in the bed and stared into the open space trying to recollect. Any memory that came to me would help piece together that crazy ass night I had. Smoothing down my hair, I eventually got out of the bed and made my way into the bathroom to relieve myself. I also made sure to pop a few ibuprofen, hoping that it’d help to alleviate this damn headache.

Scrolling through text messages helped quite a bit. The first phone call I needed to make was to Alyssa. I wanted to know why I essentially blacked out after getting into the car with Jason. Even on my drunkest nights, I’ve never blacked out. 

She agreed to meet me at a coffee shop up the street from where I lived. On the way there, I began craving something but I couldn’t quite pinpoint what I wanted. Once I seated myself, I made sure to text Jason my location.

“Good morning, Keyshia. It’s good to see you again, love” Alyssa beamed. How could she look so radiant and awake while I looked and felt like complete shit? The girl even had the nerve to have on makeup and a cute outfit: ripped jeans and a nice dainty camisole. Her hair flowed freely past her shoulders.

I ignored her greeting and got right to the point once she was seated. “What happened last night? I felt out of control and I can barely remember what happened after I went home with Jason.” 

“What happened last night was you having an amazing time. You seemed to really enjoy yourself. You let loose! Is there a crime in that? Blacking out happens to the best of us.”

“Are you serious? I’m almost thirty-five, Alyssa. It doesn’t happen to me. I know good and damn well watered-down rum and cokes won’t have me feeling like I’m on fire..”

“Well if you’re going to accuse me of doing something…I’d rather you be more direct about it” she continued to brightly smile.

 It looked so fake. 

“I know what I saw..” I squinted my eyes.

Alyssa stared at me, no doubt waiting for me to confess that I wanted more of that feeling. Maybe that’s what I was craving. And I knew it wasn’t going to go away. 

“Did you spike my drink?”

“Keyshia…honey” she giggled. “Spike is a strong word. I honestly just wanted to loosen you up. Judging by the looks of it, I accomplished my goal. I bet the sex was phenomenal.”

Once again, I was completely taken aback. What was I to say?? Hell yeah the sex was phenomenal. Jason and I barely had time to do anything nowadays…but that sex last night changed the game. We went for hours it felt—once I started regaining my memory. He had me in multiple positions..in multiple areas in the house once we got there. Damn. I’d kill for another night like that with him. 

“Fact of the matter is…” Alyssa continued speaking “..and I’ll get straight to the point…you’re going to want more. It may not be now, but it’ll be soon.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“The shit I gave you was premium! Look, I mean no harm. Girl—”

Sighing, I rolled my eyes and sat back in my seat. “I’m not your homie, Alyssa. You fucking drugged me. I could go to the police.”

“I know” she nervously resumed. “B-but hear me out. You won’t become addicted. Do you see me? I’m fine. Almost everyone in the entertainment industry has a vice. You know, to take the edge off.”

“I’m not in the entertainment industry”

“Yes…but you’re married to someone who is. Might’ve well be. It’s obvious you’ve been stressed, no?”

“Jason’s more stressed than I am and he doesn’t do this shit.”

“Ok? He’s a good man. His vice is you and you guys’ daughter—“

“Don’t talk about my kid” I warned through clenched teeth. 

She playfully threw her hands up in defense. “Alright, fine. All I’m saying is…the love that he outpours to his family is clearly enough for him. I guarantee you that just a small hit of my…for lack of better words…candy…will be just enough for you to enjoy your life like it should be enjoyed.” 

Half of me couldn’t believe I actually contemplated what she said, but the other half knew all too well that the bouts of depression I was experiencing on and off could finally be cured. Even if it were a temporary sensation. 

“This could be our little secret. Here.” Alyssa picked her purse up from the floor and dug through it. Seconds later, she fished out a small gold bag about the same size of a coin purse. She then slid it across the table over to me. “Just in case your craving comes back. It’s a sample…on me.”

She upped and left the coffee shop before I had the chance to reject her offer. 

The next fifteen minutes of my life was spent staring at that damn golden bag. Never would I have thought this would be a decision I’d have to make.

Hesitantly grabbing the baggie, I slipped it into my own purse and left the shop.  

**********************

Four years after the coffee shop exchange, Sydney was soon to be fifteen. Jason and I were fifteen years into our marriage; and by that point I had fallen hopelessly down the rabbit hole. The “controlled” addiction that Alyssa Cambridge had gotten me so easily wrapped into was only controlled for a little less than a year. At first everything was more than perfect. Suspiciously perfect, actually. Our sex life was amazing, passionate, and better than ever. I became supermom! As Syd grew older, she started to cling on to me more since I was the parent with the “normal” life. Not to mention, my performance at work was at an all time high. But of course it all was too good to be true. 

Things had suddenly taken a turn for the worst when Jason’s personal accountant snitched on me. He told him that I’d been taking large amounts of cash from the bank once a month—tracking it all the way back to when I was on my second year. I managed to get away with a quick lie, but I knew I needed to be more careful. Hiding a flourishing drug addiction was a true pain in the ass; especially when you had a teenaged daughter that relied on you being there for her whenever she needed you. 

While Jason was at work one day, the damndest thing happened. Sydney had came home from school and found me on the kitchen floor with the shit I tried so hard to hide from her caked up in my nose. I was seizing but it would be impossible for me to forget the sounds of her dropping her book bag on the floor, running over to me, and letting out the loudest blood-curdling scream I’d ever heard. Soon after, I saw complete and utter blackness. 

Waking up in a hospital bed God only knows how much time later…I felt like l got hit by a big ass tractor trailer. My mouth felt extremely dry, everything around me provided a ridiculous amount of sensory overload, and I just felt flat out awful. Like I’d just waken up from actual death. 

“Oh she’s up” I faintly heard from a distance. My eyes focused on the blurry sight of Jason hovering over me. Seconds later, I heard the tone of his phone ending a call. “Keyshia? Baby, it’s me.”

“Jason” I could barely get out. My voice sounded so hoarse and weak. “What’s going on? What happened?”

He bent closer to me, placing his hands on both sides of my face, warm tears leaking from his eyes and splashing onto my cold cheeks. “I thought I lost you.”

Almost immediately after he said that, my memories came crashing back to me. The thoughts of denying a potential overdose, Sydney’s terrified facial expression when she found me, the sight of being in and out of consciousness in the ambulance…

“Oh god” I began freaking out, barely able to speak still. “…I fucked up. Where’s Syd-“

I cut my own self off once I noticed that I was cuffed to the hospital bed by some type of restraints. Frustrated, I furrowed my brows and tried yanking at them to see if they’d come loose. “Jason, what the hell??” 

“You overdosed on cocaine, honey, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to nip this shit in the bud before it gets any worse. But that’s another talk for later on. You’re still weak and the main focus right now is to nurse you back to health.” 

With every word he spoke, my heart continuously dropped. Deeper and deeper. He looked concerned but also very tired and it looked like he was stressed the hell out. How long had I been out?

“Are the cuffs really necessary?” 

“Yes” he gulped, taking a step away from me. “I’m afraid it’s for your own safety. You’ve been restrained for a few days.”

“Days?”

“Yes…look, there’s no easy way to say this Keyshia. But once you’re discharged from the hospital…you’re going to be escorted and checked in to a rehabilitation center. It’ll be top of the line, discreet-“

“No” I quickly cut him off, growing angrier with each word he spoke. “Stop this nonsense, Jason. I’m fine.”

Even I knew that was a lie.

Jason scratched at his five o’clock shadow and shook his head. “…how could I not see the signs? You worked and lived with me nearly everyday for the past couple of months. How could I not see this? You’re my wife for chrissakes. ” 

Man.

The image of him desperately trying to put this on himself made me want to burst out in tears. But I was too weak. Too wrapped up in my own little world about happened. Too…out of it to realize that I needed help. The love of my life stood there looking as normal as can be on the verge of tears because of my wrongdoings. 

“It won’t happen again, baby. I promise. I’ve been going through a lot lately and I just wanted to feel good, Jason. Please, I swear to you” I began pleading. Rehab sounded like prison to me and I wanted no part of it. Help would be nice but I didn’t want to be locked up somewhere just to get it. 

He closed his eyes for a few seconds before he spoke his next few sentences. “ I am so terribly disappointed in you. Fuck! Why didn’t you come to me about this earlier?? We’ve always had an open door policy. Why did it have to come to this for us to talk about this shit??” 

I stared at him with wide eyes, completely speechless. Tears of overwhelming emotion cascaded down my face, pooling around my neck into my collarbones. “I’m so sorry” I whispered. “I didn’t expect it to get this far but I assure you I am not addicted”

My mind must have been fighting my heart in that moment because hearing my own words leave my mouth made me feel disgusted with myself. How could I try and defend myself after an overdose? What right did I have? 

I knew it was a lie—saying I wasn’t an addict—but I still said it. Nature of the beast I guess.

The step Jason took backwards was soon reversed when he moved back towards me. Once again, he bent down to my level and placed my tear-ridden cheeks into his hands. Instinctively, he used his thumbs to help get rid of the continuous flow of tears. “This hurts so much, my love. God this hurts. I’ve spent days crying and beating myself up for what I am about to tell you but I believe it’s the right thing to do.” 

My heart began to beat so fast that I could hardly conjure up enough air to breathe. 

“You’re not seeing Sydney until you’re a month in.”

“What?!” I exclaimed at the highest my voice could get. 

Jason gazed right into my eyes, making this so much harder to deal with. “She’s not doing too well after finding you like that, Keysh” he paused. “She thought you were dying. And she still thinks you’re dying. I cannot and I will not allow my kid to see you like this.” 

“She’s my kid too, Jason. You can’t not let me see my daughter. Surely I can explain this to her-“

“No. You have those two options.”

Pissed off, I aggressively pushed him away from me, turned my head to the side, and mumbled for him to “go fuck himself”. I started to cry very softly. I knew I needed the treatment but the thought of not seeing Sydney for at least a month bothered the shit out of me. The last memory she’d have of me for a month was seeing me fucking seized out on our kitchen floor with cocaine falling from my nose. I couldn’t have that! She deserved better than that! 

Jason sat down in the chair next to the bed and spoke very quietly and calmly. Whenever he did that, I knew that he was actually quite pissed off. And the only way for him to talk without losing his cool was to speak in a low voice. “That’s fine, babe. You can paint me as the villain all you want but this is not going to be the cause of our demise, dammit. We are going to work through this and get back on track. Sydney’s safety is my number one priority in life, alright? You know that. And you know deep down that you’re leaving me with no choice here. So what’ll it be?” 

****