Episode 6

Time: Same day of Last episode, Evening

Location:  Office of Restless Style

Harmony sat at her desk watching the young man leave.  She had just interviewed him for the position at Restless Style.  He was intelligent and seemed to understand the importance of using the appointment books.  And of course he got points for that.  Working a job and a half was finally starting to take its toll on her.  Although she was getting more than enough sleep and taking her vitamins, she felt tired still.  She was hungry because she hadn’t eaten anything since her lunch with Devon. She also had a head ache.  And to top it off, her feet were hurting from wearing these darn heels all day.  She was supposed to have dinner with Tucker tonight but at this rate she didn’t think she would be able to make it.  She looked at the clock and realized that her last appointment was running late.  It was a shame really because that lady was the one she was banking on hiring.  Her phone rang.   It was probably her next interviewee calling to reschedule. 

“Hello”

“Darlin” Her pulse raced as she sat up straighter at the sound of his voice.

“Tucker” she said breathlessly.

“The one and only.  Just confirming for tonight.”

“Well.”

“Come on.  I know you’re not going to cancel on me.”  He said playfully.  But there was a certain something in his tone that let her know he was serious.

“I’m sorry.  But I am still at Restless Style interviewing for my old position.  I had one more person to speak with but it seems that they are running late.”

“Well, maybe they won’t show.”

“Maybe not.  But I am really tired.”

“Tired?  You know, I am beginning to think that you are afraid to spend time with me.”

“Ha.  Please.  Why should I be afraid of you,” she said.

“You tell me why I can’t see you tonight then.  The real reason.”  The real reason what the she told Devon that she would not get involved with Tucker.  And just from hearing his voice over the phone she was getting excited.  It wasn’t that she was afraid.  She was just cautious.  It was preventive measures.

“Alright.  But first tell me why it’s so important to you that I do.” She hoped by putting him on the defensive, she could distract him.

“You know why”, he said.  His voice even deeper than before.

“I am going to need you to spell it out for me.” She challenged him.  Knowing Tucker he would tell her exactly what she doesn’t need to hear.  That he wanted her.  She just didn’t know if she would able to say no if he pursued her.

Before he could do so, the elevator door opened and a young woman walked off. 

“I am here to see Harmony” she said.

“I will be with you in one moment.  I need to finish this call.”

“Hey” she whispered. “I have to go.  The lady just arrived.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Okay.” And hung up the phone without allowing Tucker a word.

Location:  Donna Logan Barber’s house in LA

Donna stood in her closet wondering what to wear to her husband’s going away party.  No, ex-husband, she corrected herself.  She needed to look her best in hopes that it would give her confidence.  Something she needed very badly tonight.  She didn’t know how she would get through the night without bursting into tears.  She knew that there would be quite a few people there including her son with Justin and their granddaughter. She still couldn’t believe he was leaving. Part of her wanted to beg him to stay.  But the other part knew it was in his best interest to go.   She had to put on a good face for her family. If her sisters knew how hurt she really was, they would endlessly hover over her.  She just couldn’t handle all that attention. 

She decided on her favorite red dress. It was fitted and the hem line finished at the knee.  The dress had one shoulder strap that was ruffled while the other should was bare.  It was a dress in which she always felt good.  And she knew Justin had always liked her in it too. She took the dress off the hanger and headed to the bathroom to get dressed so that she could say goodbye to her husband. 

Location:  Chancellor Mansion

Chloe wondered where Billy was.  He was supposed to be here an hour ago so that they could finalize plans for the party tomorrow. She really didn’t need him to do it but he had insisted that he wanted to be involved.  So she had relented and accepted his help. But of course now he was flaking out. Men. Do what they want when they want.  Whatever.

It took everything in her not to call Billy and tell him off.  She would let this go.  She refused to play a harpy with him anymore.  Regardless of how much he deserved to be told off.  She was not going to do it.  He had made a habit of making her out to be the bad guy for speaking the truth and this was one time would not play that role.

She looked up to see Jill walk into the living room.

“Hey Chloe.”

“Hey”

“Where’s Billy.  I thought he was supposed to be here helping you.”

“Well, you know Billy.”

“Yes I do.  But he knows how important this party is to Delia. Something important must have come up.”

“Maybe.  But he still could have called and said something.”

At that moment, Nina came into the room.

“Hi.” Nina said. Jill rolled her eyes at the greeting and began pouring herself a drink.

“Hey Nina.”

“How’s the party planning? Need some help. I’d be more than overjoyed to help out tomorrow.”

“Thanks.  That would be great.” Chloe said out loud. 

“Of course. It’s a big day for Delia.”  Nina said with a huge smile.

“At least someone understands that” Chloe said under her breath.

“Why the hell are you so happy Nina” Jill asked Nina abruptly.

“Well,  I wanted it to be a surprise but Chance is coming home.”

“He is?” Jill said astonished. “I thought he had his heart set on re-enlisting.”

“He did.  But apparently he couldn’t get a medical clearance.  They told him no.”  Nina said with glee.

“Oh no.  He’ll be crushed” Chloe said. She knew how much being a soldier had meant to Chance.  He had seemed so unfulfilled the last time he tried being a civilian.  Even a job as cop didn’t help that.

“It’s for the best Chloe,” Nina said. “And when he gets here please don’t start in on him about that mess with Heather.”

“I had no intention of reliving that.  Thank you” Chloe said aloud.  “How dare Nina tell her what she could say,” she thought.  She really had no intention of discussing that time in her life again.  She had been engaged to Chance after her marriage to Billy ended.  But he had cheated on her with Heather Stevens, the DA.  Heather had recently left town in disgrace over some photos of her and Adam Newman in Restless Style. Good riddance. In her opinion, if Heather was not such a tramp, she wouldn’t have gotten caught with her panties down.

“Ha. That’s a first, ” Jill said astonished.

“What does that mean,” Chloe asked.

“Come on Chloe.  When have you ever missed out on a self pity party?” Jill said.

“You’re one to talk Jill.” Nina said.

“Ladies” Kay said as she walked in.  “Stop this bickering. I can’t deal with it right now.”

“I spoke to Chance.  He is coming home,” Nina said.

“That’s great news” said Kay with a knowing smile.

“Oh my god. I know that look. What did you do?  How is it that you decide you want Chance to come home then, like magic, he appears.” Jill said.

“What are you accusing me of?  I can’t control the military” Kay said as she looked from Jill and narrowed her eyes at Nina.

“I hope you haven’t taking my grandsons’ dream from him all because you have it in your head that he should be here.”

“I thank you not to make such accusation. And please don’t do so in Chance’s hearing when he arrives.” Kay said pointing her finger.

Jill scoffed and turned back around towards the bar to make herself another drink.

“Where is Harmony?” Kay asked.  “She is usually here by now.”

“Well she is obviously not in any of our purses,” Jill said.

“Oh grow up Jill,” said Nina. “I think she said that she had to do some interviews for her position at Restless Style.”

“What.  She is still working there after that blog piece that came out?” Chloe said shocked.

 “Maybe she doesn’t know,” Nina said. “I know I didn’t tell her.”

“Well someone should” Chloe said.  No one should be the last the know anything that pertained to their life.  She would make a point of telling her so.  Of course, she hadn’t mentioned it to Tucker either. Well, she really didn’t have a chance yet.

“I don’t know what Billy was thinking. I am really going to have a talk with him about this.  It’s not just Harmony, but Ashley too.  How could he draw attention to her like that?” Jill said.

“Well, it’s just gossip. I don’t think it is that big of a deal.  Tucker is used to being in the rags.  And Harmony should get used to it as well. It’s not like he had pictures of them on a nude beach making out or anything.  A few lines about a divorce and chemistry between two people are nothing,” Chloe said.  And in her opinion it was nothing. 

At that moment Esther came in to announce dinner.

Location:  Neil Winter’s Apartment

Neil walked into his apartment after the long day at work.  Things had been going well at Bell.  One of their biggest hurdles with John Jacobs had been overcome thanks to Justin.  Now he just wanted to hold his son and unwind. 

“Hey Sophia,” he said as he walked into the door. Maybe she wasn’t home he thought.  Or maybe she was in the shower and didn’t hear him call her name.

He went into the nursery and didn’t find Moses in his crib.  So they obviously wasn’t home.  He would give them about 30 more minutes before he called to check up on them.  In meantime, he decided he might as well get comfortable and start dinner.

He walked into his closet and noticed one side totally empty. All Sophia’s clothes were gone. He ran out of his room and back into the nursery.  He opened the drawers and Moses clothes were gone too.

He was shocked.  He grabbed his phone and dialed Sophia’s number who answered on the first ring.

“Neil” she sounded nervous.

“Sophia. Where are you?” He said calmly.  Although he wanted to yell at the top of his lungs, it wouldn’t get him anywhere.

“I am back at my own apartment.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to do this over the phone.  I had planned on being there when you got home from work but time got away from me.  I’m sorry.”

“Okay.  I will come over.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Neil was livid.  How dare she take his son and move out.

Location:  Office of Restless Style

Tucker couldn’t believe that Harmony had the nerve to hang the phone up in is face after canceling their date.  She obviously was accustomed to dealing with weak men.  Men who let a few no’s stand in the way of what they wanted.  That was not him.  He didn’t get where he was today by allowing people to walk all over him.  Not even Harmony and her tight, rounded, perfect ass. So, he had told his driver to bring him to Restless Style. Harmony seemed good at saying no over the phone.  The question was would she be able to say no to his face.  He doubted it.  But knowing her she just might.  She was just as strong willed as their son.

Tucker had thought to stop off at Devon’s studio on the way up but changed his mind since he had already spoken to him today.  Besides, he didn’t want the inquisition about Harmony or his intentions.  At the moment, they were good.  But he knew himself very well.  His attraction to Harmony could turn those intentions bad very quickly. 

The elevator doors opened just as Harmony was shaking hands with the young lady she was interviewing.  They both looked towards him when they heard the door open.  The lady gave a small smile but Harmony did not smile at all.  She frowned and her eyes narrowed.  Even from this distance he noticed the slight flaring of her nostrils as she took a deep breath.  She was annoyed. “good” he thought to himself. “at least now I am not the only one.”

“Thank you for coming.  I will have to speak with Billy Abbot about the candidates. You should hear something from him in a couple of days.”

“Thank you Miss Hamilton.” The other lady said as she walked off.  She looked him in the eye and smiled again as she walked past him. 

When the elevator door closed Harmony gave him her full attention. “I can’t believe you just showed up here.” She said as she raised both hands shoulder high with the palms up.

“You didn’t think that I would give up that easily.”  She needed to learn that she couldn’t just blow him off.  He was not that kind of guy.

“ Mick, I can’t spar with you right now. My day has been way too long. Besides, I am too tired to drive all over town.“

“I tell you what.  We will leave your car here and you can ride with me.  I will have your car delivered to you tonight. Besides, you had obviously planned on going.  You’re already dressed for it.” He said with smirk as he let his eyes roam from her face to her feet and back up.  She was wearing a form fitting maroon dress that stopped just at her knee.  It had a v-cut neckline that showed off her ample cleavage with rhinestones on each shoulder.  She was also wearing a pair of nude colored platform stilletoes that made her at least 5 inches taller.  Her brown curls were parted on one side and hanging prettily.  She looked very sexy.

“I am not dressed to go out.  I wore this to work.  I had planned on changing clothes.”  If she wore that to work he wondered what she had planned to wear out.  And who was she dressing like this for in her office anyway.  He had already warned her about Winters once.  He would not do so again. 

“We can eat in at home.  My private chef will cook whatever you want.”

Her eyes lit up with that. So he continued, “Let me just give him a call with your request.  Tell me what you want”

“How about stuffed bell peppers.  I love those.”

“Stuffed bell peppers it is.”  He called his chef to put in the request.

“All right sweetheart, let’s go.”

“Okay”

Location:  Marcus Barber’s car

Marcus held his girlfriend Dayzee King’s hand as he drove to out to his aunt’s house for a going away party for his dad. He noticed that every now and again she would look in the back seat to check on his daughter Rosie.  He knew how lucky he was to have someone like Dayzee in his life.  She accepted Rosie in a way that some women would never do.  He often times thought that she wished she was Rosie’s mother.  But that titled belonged to Amber Moore.  She wasn’t a bad person like people made her out to be.  She really was just misunderstood.

“So do you think your mom with be here,” Dayzee asked.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t see?”

“I don’t know.  I just get the feeling sometimes that she is having a hard time with the divorce.”

“Nah.  She’s fine.  They parted as friends.”

“Or so they want us all to believe.  I am not sure I buy that story they gave as their reason for the divorce. They felt like more friends that husband and wife.”

“Well, it’s possible.  Look at me and Amber.  We’re friends.”

“Uhm Marcus.  Amber would give anything to be with you. She just knows that she doesn’t have a prayer in hell of making that happen.”

“So what are you saying?  That my mom still wants to be with my dad.”

“I don’t know. It’s just a vibe I get from them both.  They seem so tortured.”

“Uhm hum. Well. Speaking of tortured. Do you know if Thomas is going to be here tonight.” Thomas Forrester was Dayzee’s ex-boyfriend.  And Marcus could tell that he still wanted her.  But there was no way that was going to happen.

“No.  You know I don’t talk to him unless I see him at Dayzee’s.” 

That was the answer he wanted to here.  He smiled at her as he kissed the back of her hand.

“So,  how do you feel about your father moving to Genoa City.  I know it has to bother you.”

“I am really going to miss him, you know.  But I think this is good for him.  Besides, it gives me somewhere to go visit.  I have cousins there which I haven’t seen since they visited to meet me when Justin found out I was his son.  We talk on the phone and e-mail but it’s not the same.”

“Yeah. I have cousins that I don’t get to see too.  I miss them.”

“Well, maybe when I go out to visit my dad, I will take you with me so that you can see your cousins.”

“That would be nice.”

Location:  Victoria and Billy Abbot’s House

Billy loved Victoria but she just didn’t understand him.  He couldn’t believe that he was being forced to explain to her again about Phyllis’ blog.

“Vikki. Listen.  It’s not like it was a negative piece. It was just stating facts.”

“Billy, did you ask Ashley’s permission to tell her business.”

“No” Of course he had not being that he didn’t even know anything about it until after the fact. “But in my defense, I didn’t write the piece.”

“Why would you hire Phyllis back?  You know she’s a loose cannon.”

“The same reason your brother is back with her.  She’s good at what she does.”

Victoria narrowed her eyes.

“That probably wasn’t the smartest thing to say” he thought.

“Listen Vikki,” he said putting his arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. “Phyllis has contacts that I don’t have.  She can get the dirt better than any else I know.  And she is not afraid of the back lash from publishing it either.  I won’t be able to find that in just anyone.”

Just as she was about to respond his phone rang.  He answered it at the same time the doorbell rang.

“Hello,” he said as Vikki walked towards the door.

“Billy. Where are you?” Jill said through line.

“At home ma,” he said as Vikki opened the door.

“Why. Chloe is waiting on you….” His attention drifted from the phone to the door as he heard a familiar voice say “Hi. Is Billy home?”

He walked to the door as Jill continued to talk “…You really need to get it together Billy. “ He had no idea what she had said before that. When he made it to Vikki’s side his heart dropped. “Mom, let me call you back. Bye,” he said and hung up the phone. “What the hell are you doing here?” This woman was the person who set him up when he had left town over losing Lucy.  He had been in a prison for months before he was found.

“Liam. I see you haven’t forgotten about me,” the woman at the door said.

“Stay away from me and my family. Now get off my porch.” Billy reached for the door to close it. Before he could, she opened her coat to reveal a very noticeable baby bump.  His heart dropped.

Location:  Sophia Winter’s Apartment

Sophia heard the doorbell ring and knew it was Neil.  She had debated for the last couple of weeks on what to do about her relationship with Neil.  She cared for him and wanted to make a home for Moses but she deserved more than this.  She wanted a marriage and not a friendship. 

She opened the door and Neil walked in past her.

“Sophia” he said calmly but she knew he was extremely angry. 

“Neil. Hi. I know you must be shocked.”

“Hhhm.  Shocked is not the word I would use to describe how I am feeling.”

“Angry then.”

“Yes, I am very angry.  Imagine coming home to find that your wife has packed up herself and your child and left.”

“Okay. I get it.” She wanted to remain calm but his attitude was pissing her off.  It’s not like things between them were so great. “But you had to have seen this coming.”

“No I didn’t actually.  I thought we were getting along well.”

“Getting along well.” She thought.  Who uses words like that to describe the relations of newlyweds. “Yes Neil.  We do get along well. But that is the problem. Isn’t it,” she said.

“What do you mean,” Sophia.

“I mean that we are newlyweds.  But I feel more like we are friends.  And not even close friends at that.”

“I thought we had something good here.” Neil said.

Was he serious? This was not good.

“Neil.  Admit it. This is not how a marriage should be. You have been married before.  Tell me that this is what it felt like,” she begged.

“Sophia. Sweety,” he said.  “Every marriage is different. No two will ever be alike.”

“I know that.  But I am not comparing it to another marriage. I am comparing it to a standard.  There are certain things I expect. And I am not getting that.”

“Is this about sex? I know that we haven’t consummated…”

“No Neil” she cut him off. She didn’t want him to even think that she was some desperate woman acting out because her husband didn’t sleep with her.  Truth be told, it dawned on her that she didn’t want to sleep with Neil. “It’s not that. You and I are not just meant to be in that way.  I thought I would give it a try for Moses but it is not working.  And if you were honest with yourself, you would see it.”

“I don’t see it.  We are making a family for our son. Everything else is just noise to me.”

She needed to just lay it out there. “Neil, I want an annulment.”

“Why?”

“I just finished telling you why.”

“I don’t want that. I want to come home to my son every day.”

“Yeah. I know.  But do you want to come home to his mother.” She could tell that the question gave him pause. “Because I have found that I don’t want to come home to his father.” She couldn’t help herself.  At that moment the tears started to flow down her face.  How did her life get so messed up?

Neil being ever the gentleman, even in anger, wrapped his arms around her.  “Don’t cry please.”

“I’m sorry. You don’t know how much I agonized over this.  I would do anything for my son.  But I think we both deserve and opportunity to meet someone that we feel something more than affection for.”  She felt him sigh as she lay her head against his chest.

“Okay.  But we need to work out an arrangement.  I don’t like you two living all the way on the other side of town.”

“What do you suggest?”

“There is an apartment opening in my building.  Why don’t you two move over there and I can see Moses anytime I want.  And you can have your own space.”

“And the annulment” she asked.

“Let’s hold off on that for now.”

“No. Please. Let’s do it now.”  She needed to do it while she was still strong enough to walk away. 

“Okay”

“Thanks.”

 I will get the ball rolling. Now,” he said tipping her face up so that he could look into her eyes, “can I see my son before I go.”

“Of course you can.  You’re his father. You can see him whenever you want.  That will never change.” And she meant it.  She knew the sacrifice Neil was making in letting her walk away without taking her to court for custody.  

Location:  Tucker McCall’s Limousine

Harmony could not believe she was in Tucker’s car headed to his house to have dinner.  She had decided earlier that she was not going to go.  But when he showed up looking like someone out of Uptown Magazine and offered her a choice of whatever she wanted, how could she say no.  He was sitting next to her.  Not too close but she could still feel his body heat and smell his cologne.  He kept looking at her smiling.  Now she knew where Devon got that twinkle he gets in his eyes whenever he has his way.  Tucker was sporting it right now. 

“Do you generally get your way” she asked noticing his attire.

He was wearing a navy blue tailored suit. With a light blue dress shirt and blue and grey striped tie.  One thing she had noticed over the past couple of weeks is that Tucker really knew how to wear a suit.  He was just too gorgeous for words.

“Generally, yes.  Is that going to be a problem?” He said as he looked at her thoughtfully.

“Why would it be a problem for me?”

He raised an eyebrow and said with smirk “Because that means that unless we are of like minds, you probably won’t be getting yours very often.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh at that.  This man was so arrogant.  No wonder he and Ashley were divorcing.

“Is that why you and Ashley broke up?”

“No.  Ashley and I didn’t have a problem with that.  Before we made it official, I explained to her that I was set in my ways.  How I rolled is how I rolled.  She agreed to that.  So no, we never had those kinds of disagreements.”

Harmony hoped that she didn’t looks as astonished as she felt.  What woman agreed to that mess?  She knew she never would. “I see”.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that Ashley is a better woman than me” was the only way to respond.  She didn’t want to judge another woman.  Or talk bad about her in front of Tucker.  She hated when women did that.  It always just seemed so self serving.

“Meaning we will have a problem with that” he enquired.

“Uhm, no. We won’t. I don’t have to deal with you like that.  I am not your wife.” She said as she felt the car slow down.  She looked at Tucker and noticed him studying her.

“You’re right.  You’re not. But you are the mother of my child.   That is something far more important than just a wife.” He said calmly as he stared her in the eyes. 

That was not the answer she expected.  Before she could formulate a reply, the car stopped and the door was opened by the driver.  Tucker got out and reached his hand in to help her out.  She placed her hand in his and felt a shock go through her body.  His hand was warm and slightly rough against her palm.  She wondered how it would feel against the rest of her skin.  Back in the day, it had felt great to have him touch her finally.  As a virgin, she had held out as long as she could.  But curiosity and her love for Mick had gotten the best of her. 

When she stood, he didn’t release her hand as expected.  They headed for the front entrance of the building holding hands.  She was sure that if anyone saw them, they would think that they were an item.  She tugged slightly on her hand hoping Tucker would let it go.  But he only grasped it more firmly.

“Tucker please.   Someone might see us and misunderstand” She pleaded.

“Misunderstand what?”

“You’re still married and I don’t want to be branded as a home wrecker.  I am already being called a gold digger.”

“The divorce is final. So I am single and you are single.”

“But still. I don’t want Devon thinking something that is not true. Besides, what makes you think I am single?” she teased him. He was really assuming.  He did not know for sure.

He stopped in is tracks and she almost bumped into him, “What?” He said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes as he squeezed her hand unconsciously.

“I may not be single.”

“Are you single?”  She noticed him holding his breath.

“Yes”

He began walking again. He opened the front door to his house as he said, “I think you like messing with me”

“A little bit.  Your arrogance is just too much sometimes.”

“You’ll get used to it.” He said with a smile.

“Let me make this clear.  I will NEVER get used to it. “ 

“We’ll see. Now let’s eat.”

Location:  Bill and Katie Spencer’s Beach House

Bill and Justin arrived at the house with the party in full swing.  They had  a few loose ends to tie up at work due to Justin leaving tomorrow afternoon.

“Hey party people.  The man of honor has arrived,” Bill said as he walked through the door.

Justin followed him in with a smile on his face.  “Hey everybody,” he said as he walked in.

Everyone in the room clapped and began coming up to him one by one for congratulations.

His son Marcus came up last. “Pop, I am really going to miss you.” He said as he hugged him. “I am going to miss you too son.  Now you know that if ever you want to leave Forrester or want a change of scenery, there will always be a position for you at Bell. The family has already been asking me about you coming.  But I told them I wouldn’t pressure you.  That you were happy here.”

“Thanks Pop. But you just never know what the future hold so…”

“Yeah.  So is your mother here?” he asked his son.  He had discreetly looked around the room when he first arrived but didn’t see her.

“Oh yeah.  She is in the kitchen with Aunt Katie.”

“Oh okay.”

Justin decided to seek her out now and get it over with.  He didn’t want there to be tension in the air all night. But just as he was about to head that way he heard Bill start a toast.

“Thank you everyone for coming.  This is a bittersweet moment for me.  As you all know.  Justin has been my right hand since we graduated from college. He has been with me every step of the way at Spencer.  I know that I am sometimes a difficult boss and an even more difficult friend.  But he stuck with me.  And for that I am grateful. And now he is branching out on his own.  It would be selfish of me to not be happy for him.  And although I am a selfish man, I fathom myself at least a decent friend. So I will at least feign happiness.  So let’s raise our glasses to say goodbye to my boy. I am going to miss you man.”

“Same here,” Justin said. “ Same here.”

Justin took a sip of his champagne and turned once again towards the kitchen in an effort to talk to Donna.  He saw her standing in the doorway.  She had obviously come out during the toast. 

“She looked beautiful as usual,” he thought as he approached her.  He noticed the tears in her eyes as he got closer.  He couldn’t help but smile.  She was always so sentimental.

“Thank you for coming,” he said.

“As if I would miss it,” Donna said with a smile.

“Well, I didn’t know.  Things have been so difficult between us lately.”

“I’m sorry.  I know I am mostly to blame for that.”

“No, I think we both share the blame. Anyway, I am going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.  And I promise to e-mail you a picture at least once a day of our granddaughter.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”  One of the things he hated about this move was not seeing his little Rosie when he wanted. 

“Justin, I just want to tell you something before I lose my nerve.”

“Okay.  What is it?” He said curiously.  He needed to leave. He was dedicated to this new business venture. He just hoped that she didn’t say anything that would make him want to stay.

“Not here.  Let’s go into the bedroom for some privacy.” 

He followed her down the hallway and into the bedroom.  She walked in as he hovered in the doorway.  She turned and said, “I love you. I mean, I am still in love with you.  And I know it doesn’t change anything but I just wanted you to know.”

“I know that.  And I love you two Donna. But we obviously want different things.  Which I have finally made peace with.”

“It’s not that we want different things Justin.  It’s just that I am afraid.” She said as she started to cry.

He stepped into the room and stopped in front of her.  “This woman really knows how to push my buttons” Justin thought.  He reached out a hand and cupped her jaw.  “Hey, look at me,” he said.

She raised her eyes to meet his.  “Tell me what you are afraid of sweetheart,” he asked. 

“I am afraid of raising a child alone.  It’s the main reason that I haven’t had any more kids since Marcus. My dad abandoned us when we were young. You know that.”

“Yes I know that”, he said as he rubbed his thumb back and forth against the skin of her jaw.

“So what if you decide that you don’t want me.  Or that raising a child is not what you really want.”

He was shocked that Donna would think that he could walk away from her or their child. “Donna, do you really think that is the kind of man that I am?”

“No.  I don’t but this fear is beyond that. I was thinking that maybe I should see someone about it.”

“I agree that you should.”

“I don’t want you to think I am doing this to keep you tied to me or anything.  I just want you to understand that me not wanting to have a baby wasn’t just something I was telling you.  It’s deeper than that.”  Donna looked so vulnerable.  Justin wished he could take that look out of her eyes but he couldn’t.

“I wish I could make this better for you but I can’t.  And I can’t sit around waiting on it to get better.  I want more children.  Besides, we will be a plane ride away from each other. Unless-“

“No.  I couldn’t leave Marcus and Rosie.  Not now at least.  Maybe if Rosie was older.  You know they need me.”

“So do I,” he screamed in his head.  But he wouldn’t pressure her.  These were decisions she needed to make on her own.  “You know. We really need to talk some more before I leave.  But I don’t really think this is the place.  How about I come by your house later and we can finish,” he asked.  He really didn’t want this to be their last conversation before he left.

“No.  That’s not a good idea. I think we have said it all. I just wanted you to know that I wasn’t just saying no because I didn’t want your baby.”

He dropped his hand from her cheek and took a step back.  “Well.  Okay then.  I guess I will head back out. Bye.”

“Bye” She said and turned away from him. 

He wanted so badly to hold her again.  To chase away her demons.  But he couldn’t do that. Donna had already cost him so much in his life.  He refused to allow himself to lose out on the possibility of another child. So he turned and walked away.