oOo

    Danny walked absentmindedly through her living room, stretching her neck and body while flipping on light switches even though she still moved with her eyes closed to the early morning hour,still reluctant to having dragged herself from bed. Her feet needed no help from her eyes as she was led by the mental map of her apartment.

     In her kitchen, she had gotten her ritual cup of coffee ready and brewing as the smell filled the air. Going to her living room, she peeked at the digital clock on her DVD player, turning to her 5'oclock news, and throwing the remote back on her couch carelessly.

   "What the fuck?"

    Jumping back and tripping over her coffee table, Danny screamed until all of the color was pulled from her face as the unexpected sound of Roddrick grunting surprised her.

    "Why are you throwing shit?" She groaned as she sat up, rubbing the back of her head. She sat on all fours, sniffing the air before the familiar urge hit her like a truck and sent her flying to the bathroom.

     "Why the hell are you in my house? Asking me why I'm throwing my shit-you know you could have killed me? Boom! Your best friend dead of a heart attack because you just show up out of the blue!" Danny took deep breaths as she tried to regain her composure with her cheek pressed to her carpet before going to drag Roddrick out of the bathroom for some answers.

    "You said that your key was for emergencies-"Cringing from the sound of retching, Danny cracked the door open only to be stopped by Roddrick's extended foot. "And this was one."

     Smacking her teeth, Danny slapped her hand against the door." You came all the way over here just to throw up in my bathroom?" She squealed, pinching her nose." You're gonna have to give me back that key because obviously you are abusing the privilege."

     Danny muttered under her breath as Roddrick swung open the door.

    "Hey, where's your mouth wash?" She asked groggily as Danny's head retracted from the smell of vomit. She gagged as she made her way to her personal bathroom, hurrying back to give it to her friend who was in dire need of some oral cleansing.

    "Oh my God. I don't think I've ever smelled your breath before. My image of you is forever tainted." She stuck her tongue out still mimicking her disgust as Roddrick rolled her eyes, throwing her head back and gurgling.

   "This is a special situation. That stank ass coffee you made did this to me." Roddrick's hands were splayed on the counter as she used one to indicate her current state.

    "Coffee is the best smell-"

   "It smells like 10 skunks went off in here!"

    "It smells like your ass should go home then!" Danny swatted out her hand, delivering a sharp slap to Roddrick's backside, making her jump. "Though you insulted my coffee, disrespected my toilet, and interrupted my morning routine, I am still courteous enough to offer you a cup of the retched beverage."   Danny walked back through her home, twirling her arms for dramatic effect as she went back to her kitchen.

    Roddrick soon followed, stretching her body to get rid of the hidden aches from sleeping on Danny's small couch.

    "After that little episode, I think I'll pass on your offer."  With a quick hop, Roddrick placed herself on the kitchen counter, yawning as she watched her friend move around the space.

    "Mind telling me what's the real reason you showed up on my couch? You know this isn't a free shelter. I may have to start charging you." Leaning back and sipping her coffee, she raised a devious eyebrow.

    "You act like I stay here enough to pay rent. This is like, what, the first time I've done this?" Roddrick laughed as she browsed through a small fruit basket, choosing a few mandarins as she began to unpeel them.

    "Look, if I let it go once, you'll get used to it. Got to set the rules early." Stealing the first piece Roddrick managed to free from the bunch, Danny popped it in her mouth as she made a sour face.

    "You and your mom?" She said knowingly.

    Sighing, Roddrick looked to the ceiling as she shook her head.

    "Damn, girl. You act like you're 15 not almost 25. You two have been dueling it out for a while now."

     "I know, I know. It's some stupid shit honestly."

     "Yeah, got you out here running away from home." Danny snickered. "She ground you? Take away your phone?"

    "She made me take a pregnancy test."

     Danny choked on her drink as she looked bewilderedly at Roddrick." Why would she think that? You need to get some dick first before--- oh my God." She stopped midsentence remembering the encounter with Milo at her studio.

     "He got you pregnant?" She nearly slammed down her mug, sloshing coffee all over Roddrick as she came and stood before her.

    "Hey!" Roddrick exclaimed as she wiped at the new stains.

    "What the hell are you going to do? Are you keeping it? Does he know?" Danny reached to lift up Roddrick's shirt, but her hands were pushed away as Roddrick held it closer to her body.

    "I am not pregnant!" Grabbing Danny's face, she brought it close."I. Am. Not. Pregnant."

    "Then why-how do you know for sure? I mean you did say you just met the guy. It only takes a few seconds to get the deed done. Did you even use protection? Jesus, Roddrick..." Danny seemed to be more than disturbed by the thought of Roddrick getting knocked up by some kid off the street as her face contorted with her thoughts.

    "Why aren't you freaking out?" Danny finally took note of Roddrick's calm demeanor as she sat watching, still eating her mandarin.

   "Because I already said my piece. You obviously didn't even hear me."

    "But it's possible..."

     "Look, three out of three pregnancy tests proved that I am indeed not having a baby. No need to worry about anything." She watched as Danny finally took a deep breath before shaking her head.

    "Well, good then because I don't think I'm ready for that kind of responsibility just yet." Danny joked, widening her eyes.

    "Amen to that." Roddrick slid from the cabinet, turning to Danny with a more serious look on her face."But I am ready for a certain responsibility. You're cousin still setting people up with places to stay?"

   "Places to stay? Like what, an apartment?"

    "I need to find something soon. It's-it's something that's long overdue."

    Danny looked at her for a long hard minute, with her hands on her hips." You know Manny doesn't have anything for you. All of his connections are in shit holes."

    "Anything is better than nothing, Danny."

    "You can come stay with me if you'd like." She suggested.

    "The point of this is to be on my own. I'm trying to start setting things in motion." Roddrick's eyes fell to her feet as she scratched her head." I don't think I can live up under others for too much longer. So, please could you call him?"

   "Rodd... I don't think."

    "Fine, I'll just have to call him up myself. He was trying to get at me before, he might be able to find me a nice and cozy little place."

    "That would be the last place he would find you. " Danny said rolling her eyes." Okay, I'll call him, but if he says he can show you a place, then I come with you because he is a sneaky little bastard. You may end up pregnant for real behind his ass." Roddrick reached to ruffle Danny's bed head as she smiled.

    "You're always there for a girl."

    "Yes, I do great things. I know." Accepting the compliment, Danny rubbed her hands together." I'm going to go shower. I've got to go in to the studio for a few. You gonna stay here?"

    "Probably just a little while longer." Roddrick shrugged.

   "Make yourself at home then. But not too at home." Danny called as she made her way back to her bedroom. Heading back to the couch, Roddrick fell back on it as she began to watch the news. She didn't hear anything that was being said as she began to think out her situation.

    She had a good chunk of money saved from years of working. Had always kept it for a rainy day and for that, she was thankful.  There was a lot to think about and get done, especially if she wanted to be settled in sooner rather than later.

oOo

4 Days Later

     Roddrick and Danny walked up the sidewalk towards a less than stellar apartment complex. It wasn't anything too rough, but it was obvious that there were definitely better out there.

    "I mean, it's not all that bad. Look, it even has a decent park." Roddrick said to Danny whose lip was slightly snarled.

    "Yeah, full of bad ass kids. Look, look... over there being future criminals." She pointed out a group of kids circling the parking lot on bikes.

    "You better shut up before they come over here." Roddrick laughed as a couple of little boys stared them down. Speeding up, Danny took Roddrick by the elbow as they moved closer to a distant male figure.

    "Someone's been eating good." Danny teased as she came within earshot of Manny.

     "Danita," He laughed happily, pulling his younger cousin into a tight hug. His hair was neck length, holding little wave as it fluttered in the wind. Roddrick had always known that Danny's entire family was attractive, and to be in his mid-30s, Manny proved that it lasted with age. His stomach was a bit softer than it had been in his prime, his features a bit more soft and relaxed as well. It all gave him a grown man charm that was still stunning. When his deep set eyes turned to Roddrick, she caught a glimpse of the quick witted younger guy who used to make her blush as a teen.

    "Roddrick?" He asked amazed." I knew you were going to be a beautiful woman."

    "Easy tiger. You got a wife now, right?" Danny teased as she slapped the back of her hand to his chest.

     "Doesn't mean I can't appreciate  the beauty of others. And Roddrick here is an old friend."  Roddrick laughed as she gave him a hug.

    "It's great seeing you Manny. It's been a few years."

     "Wife and kids now, they take up all my time. Retired my Casanova days three years ago." Though he pretended as if it were a sacrifice, Roddrick could see the look of pure joy that just the thought of his family brought him. With his new wife came two of her own children from a previous marriage, and they now shared their very own son who was raised just like any other sibling with the others.

    "Want to see my boy Julian?" He said reaching for his phone and showing her pictures of the toddler."Kid is nuts. "

    "He looks so much like you. He's gorgeous." Roddrick awed.

   "Well of course, what else could you expect?"

    "Alright, alright. Nice little reunion here." Danny pestered as Manny smacked his teeth.

   "You know just how to bring down the mood, Danita." Putting his phone back and replacing his playful scowl with a smile, he ushered the ladies towards the stairs.

   "Now, I got to admit that I was shocked when Danny said you wanted me to find you a place. You should be going to some big deal complex with people who wear suits and ties." Removing a pair of keys from his pocket, Manny stopped on the fourth floor, strolling towards a door before inserting the keys .

   "I just wanted to find something small and that was enough for just me. Not trying to break myself while still having somewhere to lay my head." She came to a stop beside Danny as they waited for Manny to open the apartment.

   "A woman like you needs nice things, and this is the best I could get you on such short notice." When the door opened, Danny and Roddrick were both shocked to see that the inside definitely defied the outer appearance of the building.

    "Is that new carpet?" Danny said surprised as she rubbed the tip of her foot along the beige carpet.

     "Asked for a favor from some guys I knew. Put it down a couple of days ago. The person in here before had some stains in here so bad that I don't even want to know what they were." Turning on some lights, Manny began to walk them both through the place.

    It was a one bedroom one bath. The perfect size for Roddrick. She had low expectations before coming, and had accepted them, but was delighted to find that the apartment was in fact doable for her.

    "This place really isn't as bad as you may think, though I'm sure Danita here would disagree."

    Sneering up her nose, Danny gave an honest reply." It's alright."

   "Danny." Roddrick elbowed her.

    "What? I'm serious. I didn't think it would be but it actually is. "She explained. " I mean. I would actual come visit you here." She smirked.

    "Thank you for your approval you bougie bitch." Roddrick murmured against her cheek receiving a smack of the teeth in return.

    "Manny, I think I've seen what I need to see." Roddrick said assuredly.

    They took another sweep through the apartment, reaffirming Roddrick's decision to take it just before leaving to go talk over the tedious portion of apartment hunting.

    When they were back out on the street, Danny locked arms with Roddrick.

   "So, you're gonna do this, huh?" She looked to Roddrick, watching as she shook her head firmly.

   "I guess so." With a small smile, Roddrick felt that this had gone better than expected, leaving less room for her to be apprehensive or doubtful.

     Danny squealed as she shook Roddrick by the arm.

     "I have to admit, I feel like this is some milestone. You're finally getting out your mama's house and joining the rest of us in paying real bills."

     "I'm just jumping for joy." Roddrick felt a prickling sensation at the back of her neck. Turning around, she scanned the area around her. There were kids still playing, smokers taking a break on the steps-nothing out of the ordinary. Though she saw no one or nothing unusual, the feeling of being watched never left her as she climbed into the passenger seat of Danny's car.

    "Now, the next step is getting you a real vehicle. I can't with that raggedy ass bike of yours anymore." Danny started her car, pulling out right behind Manny as they followed him up to the front building of the complex.

    "One step at a time, huh?" Roddrick clipped her seat belt in, leaning her head against the headrest as she watched the balcony that would soon belong to her disappear from sight.

oOo

     Milo breezed past the woman who sat on the steps to his building as she puffed on a cigarette, completely absorbed into her smart phone as he made his way around her. His guitar case bobbed at his side as he made his way to his car. In the distance, he could see two leaving, recognizing the first one as Manny's, the guy who had given him a chance to have a place to stay.

    He rarely ever saw the guy, and figured that there must be potential renters looking for an apartment. He knew for sure that the one across the hall from him was vacant. Hell, he honestly barely saw any of the other neighbors unless it was in the dead of night returning from some bar or gig.

   For the most part, things there were quiet as everyone kept to themselves. A part from the brats he's had to chase away from sitting on the hood and trunk of his car whenever they pleased, it was alright.

   Checking his watch, he saw that he had been pushing it as he rushed to a rehearsal for later on that evening. This would be one of his earlier shows, and one that his sister promised to attend.

     After hearing about the fall out between him and their mother, Lauren had pestered him to no end. She insisted on coming to his performance tonight even though he made it clear that it wasn't necessary. There was really no getting around it. She would do nothing more than report back to his mother about his current status.

   Good thing the venue tonight was a reputable and neighborhood friendly one. At least then Lauren could go back with a decent report.

    When he arrived, he took the memorized path towards the small stage in place for people like him. Here, they hosted various types of artists: spoken word, singers, rappers, just about everything. Compared to the other places he had been, this definitely proved to him that he was making progress and getting seen.

    Even with his talent proving to getting him places in life, he found that he felt stagnant and uninspired.  The reason was very clear to him, and it became one that bothered him more and more.

   If he played by his heart and feelings, he wouldn't be able to serenade the crowd with any uplifting and comforting sounds. If he sung the way he felt, he would only be able to leave a sense of angst and despair behind.

    Milo figured that for the next few hours, he could kill time by losing himself in his music. Ever since it became a part of his therapy to change, it has always helped.

    Except for now, it couldn't make its way into the crevices eaten away by thoughts of Roddrick. He still hadn't been able to fix what he had done wrong, so it seemed that nothing else could take the place of him making things right on his own. Not even music could do that, so he knew that what he was dealing with wouldn't be simple.

   Until he could do what was right, Milo didn't think anything would be as good as it should be.

oOo

     Lauren walked into the building filled with buzzing bodies enjoying the evening out. Many still wore their work clothes having taken a straight shot to the small club to unwind. The sight allowed her to release some of the apprehension she had been feeling the entire drive there. She was expecting to find Milo fucking around in places that he shouldn't be, and was ready to take him out the instance she sensed trouble. She tucked the short pieces of hair behind her ear as she looked around at the many faces for Milo.

    When their eyes met from a distance, she could nearly see the tick of Milo's jaw as he put on a guarded smile, one she knew didn't reach any further than face value.

     "Hey P.O., did you find the place okay?" His hands rested in his front pockets as Lauren's hands reached out to fix the collar of his shirt as she examined him like a caring older sister.

    "Yes, jokes galore Milo." She frowned as she looked at him." I'm here to see you play. I've never been able to, and I know how much this means to you."

    "And..." Tilting his head forward expectantly, he waited for her to tell the other half of the truth.

    "She's just worried, Milo. We all are and you know it." She sighed, rubbing at her forehead as she couldn't keep the other reason for her being there a secret.

     "It's better me than her."

      "Oh, I'm sure." He scoffed ready to turn away before Lauren stopped him.

     "Hey!" she said a little louder than she intended to. Furrowing her brow, she began to speak at a lower leveled tone." I am here to support you. I am here to do that now, Milo. I haven't always and I know I've sucked at being a sister for so long-"

     "Can we please not get into that right now?"

      "I'm not finished talking." She spat. "You can't just throw us away, Milo."

     "You suffocate me." He gritted out, taking a step closer just as Lauren did the same.

    "We love you. We are trying our best here."

     "Well, it's not really all that necessary at this point. I am more than okay now, I'm pass that point." He stared at her blankly, a part of him wanting to debunk her claim. It had taken so many fuck ups, so many years of his mistakes and near death to finally get this kind of attention out of his family, and quite frankly he would pass on it. He knew that the past was in the past, but sometimes it was hard to let it go if they kept living and treating him like the smallest thing could trigger a relapse to his old self.

     He wanted to live whatever time he had left without those things interfering. He finally wanted to be able to look to his family as just that and not some suffocating annoyance.

     The sounds of an announcer alerting the crowd of the next incoming act told Milo that he had ten minutes before he needed to be on. Looking to his sister, he reached down and grabbed her in to a hug that she returned with ten times the intensity.

     "I love you so much, Milo. Mom does too. We just want to make the best of what we have together. Don't keep trying to cut us off." She spoke into his ear before kissing his temple. Releasing him, the soft tears that lined her eyes glistened at him as she held up both of her thumbs.

    "I'm going to steal a seat in the front. Good luck."

     Nodding his head, Milo said, " Thanks." He watched Lauren search for a seat as close to the stage as she could get. When she finally settled down, she waved back over to Milo, pointing towards the back so that he could go get ready.

       Doing so, he walked back, shaking out his arms and neck as he heard the announcer take the stage again. When applause rang out, he took a step out, facing the crowd with his trademark smile.

     "Hello, everyone. How are you doing tonight?" He spoke to the strangers as they answered in unison with head nods and simple replies.

     "First off, I want to say that I am beyond honor to be here tonight. This a very special night for me, and to be at Spin is like a milestone for me. I've been playing for a few years now, started out to ease some of the things I had been going through. To finally be able to take my struggles, hurt, and happiness and share it with others like you is very rewarding, and makes me grateful for this kind of opportunity." Milo wasn't able to bring out the joking side he usually channel during his introduction, never taking his eyes off of Lauren as he spoke.

    She sat with her hands clasped beneath her chin with a small smile.

    "And I'm even more grateful to have a loved one here-my sister-to hear me play for the first time." The crowd awed, and erupted into another small round of applause as they looked around for Lauren.

Say Judas came up to D.C.

He'd been down in Georgia for a while

He drove a 944

He bought with the soul

Of a blonde-headed kid

With a left-handed guitar

Now he's lookin' for me

Sign the dotted line please

For the fake 50's

Now Judas answer me

"Since I was the age to speak

Haven't you been listening?"

Salvation

...

Salvation

Salvation

I'm calling

Salvation

...

     Lauren watched as her brother's eyes closed, getting lost in the song he sung while his finger strummed full force at his guitar.

Well he came to town

Found the woman that I love

And he fucked her down

She told him where I live

Off of 9th in the alleyway

Where they say

They got the coke and the dope

Until you end up broken

"You should have let the smack get you" he said

"But now you've got to deal with me instead

I'm downstairs on the Motorola

You know I've got 3 golden bullets

And I'm shooting for your soul"

Salvation

Well I came down with my Martin blazin'

My voice

It was cutting him up

Now he's aiming

His first shot grazed my eye

I lost half of my sight

And my firstborn's life

The second shot grazed off my guitar moon

And it made my guitar kinda play out of tune

But I just kept playing

Like I had nothing to lose

He turned the third on himself

'Cause the bastard knew

Salvation I'm calling

Salvation

     By the time Milo had finished, the crowd had begun cheering, amazed and hungry for more of his guttural sound as their interest in him was peaked even more. He heard some men whistle and women fawn over him, eyeing him admirably.

     Lauren clapped enthusiastically as her smile revealed a look of awe at his voice. She nodded her head when he looked her way before finishing out the rest of his set after many words of encouragement.

oOo

     Milo stood over a couch in one of the waiting rooms, packing up his belongings when a pat on the back stirred him.

    "You can expect to be on that stage many more times in the future, my friend." The older man stood before him with his arms opened as he shook Milo's hand vigorously. "I can't remember the last time they've gotten that worked up over a performance, and believe me, we've had some great performances lately."

     "Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity." Milo became elated by the promise of a spot  in the club, but kept it under wraps beneath his cool demeanor.

    "I knew I made a good choice with you. Be ready for next week, I'll be calling you about some openings then." He pointed at Milo as he began back pedaling out the room to tend to other business elsewhere. When he left, in came Lauren who had been standing by the doorway and overheard the conversation.

   "I heard the good news. So what, you have a solid spot here?" She asked excitedly, mirroring the exact feeling he felt inside.

    "Seems that way." He finally smiled, letting out the breath he had been holding earlier. Lauren engulfed him in a hug as she told him how proud she was of what he was doing.

    "The last thing I thought you would be doing is singing. You really are great, Milo. I'm sorry I've ever missed this before." Reaching out to ruffle her hair, Milo shook his head.

    "It's nothing to start crying about." He said, hoping that the tears shaking visibly in her eyes stayed there.

   "I'm sorry, I'm just so happy for you. This is what I've been wanting for you."

     "Well, I'm working towards it. You get why I don't need you and ma down my neck about everything? When I say I can handle some things on my own, I kinda mean it." Grabbing his things, he began leading Lauren from the room.

    "I know, I know..." She spoke from behind.

     When they made their way to the parking lot, Milo looked at his watch to see that it was just past 8.

     "How about we go grab something to eat?" He suggested, noting the surprise of inclusion on Lauren's face.

    "I know a restaurant that serves the best burgers." Digging for her keys, she went to her car as Milo did the same.

    "Let me guess, does the owner's name happen to be Talton?" He shut his trunk and walked over to her window, leaning against her car.

    "Oh no, no. Though it would be nice if you stopped by sometime soon and showed your brother in law some love. It's this other place. I use to go there in college when I felt fancy or got some old guy to pay my way." Cringing at her admittance, Milo stood, and went to his own car and followed her to the restaurant.

oOo

     Roddrick stood from behind the door separating the kitchen from the diners as her eyes landed on a familiar face. A sour taste entered her mouth as she watched the man look around anxiously, twirling his thumbs during the wait.

    Unfortunately he was seated in her section, and if she didn't get out there soon, someone would notice her hiding behind the door.

    Her steps were measured and loud as she walked towards his table. At first, she was determined to show him that she could careless that he was there and had no intentions of acknowledging their connection to one another.

    But when Brian's eyes met hers, she felt insecurity enter her again, and quickly went on the defense as she came to his table.

    "Roddrick-"

    "My name is Roddrick and I'll be your waitress tonight." The breathy sound of her name leaving his mouth disturbed her as she went for her writing pad, ready to take his order." Can I start you off with something to drink?"

    His eyes lingered on her turned away face before they looked over the rest of her.

     "I was hoping that I could come here and get a chance to talk to you Roddrick..." Brian spoke softly as her face hardened.

    "I am at work, sir. What would you like to drink?"

    "I know you hate me, I accept that. I owe you a lot of explanations, and I really hope that you would let me-"

    "We all want things we can't have. Now, are you here to order or harass me because I can have you removed immediately."The stern stare she gave him never wavered as an eyebrow rose. He remembered getting that look plenty of times before she fell into a fit of giggles or smiles, easing the seriousness she had always held.

   He knew he was going to be getting one of those now.

    "I'll take a water." He spoke hoarsely.

    "Would you like more time to decide on your meal?"

      "I'll have the pasta special." He answered quickly not even bothering to look at the menu. Pursing her lips, Roddrick put away her notepad, reaching for his menu.

    "I'll have that water out soon." She nodded before walking away.

oOo

     Milo sat unmoving in front of the restaurant Lauren brought him to.

    "Are you sure this is the place you wanted to go?" He asked her as she set the alarm to her car.

     "Of course it is, I brought us here didn't I?" Milo looked for the familiar bike lying against the side of the building, and saw that it was nowhere in sight. The sinking feeling could have been from disappointment or relief, he wasn't sure.

    "Me and Roddrick came here all of the time, I wonder if they'd remember my face now." She spoke absentmindedly, not seeing the stress that the name she called put on Milo as they entered the restaurant.

     There were a few couples ahead of them, and as the host told them that there would be a thirty minute wait, Milo had been subconsciously looking for all of the waiters as they moved around the room. He could hear his sister speaking to him, but wasn't listening.

    "Hey, did you hear me? I swear we haven't gotten a chance to talk much since the wedding and you're zoning out on me already." She nagged as she fixed her coat and jacket. Just when Milo thought he was in the clear, and would be able to relax, Lauren broke out into a gasp as she spotted Roddrick across the room.

    "Oh my God. I had no idea she worked here." She muttered to herself about different things for the next twenty minutes. As they moved up in the line, they were getting closer to the main dining room, and more visible as Roddrick spotted the short blonde after picking up the dishes from an empty table. She smiled brightly at the waving woman, and tried her best to do the same.

    "Fuck." Her face deadpanned once she saw Milo staring her way. When she watched one of the hosts move them closer and closer, she realized that they were headed for the table she had just cleared.

   Turning back and heading for the kitchen, she began to laugh. When she passed by a silent Brian who watched her pursuit, it began to carry a twinge of lunacy as she realized what was in store for her that tonight.