Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story


- Text Size +
Story Notes:

This is my first attempt at fanfiction. Thanks to Blacktop50 for issueing me the challenge to write this.  Thanks to Harold Finch and Grace Luvr to being my beta and jumping in on the last three chapters.  Any errors are mine after it was betaed.

 Here's the disclaimer. I own nothing that has to do with Person of Interest...except my disappointment at Carter's death ;-) All these characters belong to CBS and Nolan.





Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


He was glad that they had finally found John. But the ease with which they found him reinforced what he'd speculated had happened but really hoped hadn't. Looking at the remnant of the man in front of him, he now knew his speculations, though correct, didn't.... no - couldn't really encompass the agony John was experiencing. The losses in his own past however reminded him of how horribly devastating losing someone you love could be. As he approached John his mind was racing with thoughts and questions. He quickly recaptured some stray feelings and stored them away for reflection at a later time. His focus was on John.


They hadn't spoken to John since..., he sighed thinking about the tragedy that happened that night. Though he was just beginning to truly understand the depths of what Detective Carter meant to John, he had to let John know what she meant to him, as well as what she had done for him - that he missed her so dearly too. He had grown to have such respect for her. She seemed to him the embodiment of her name. Jocelyn: courageous, honest, determined, original, believes in the law, beautiful - such beauty! Her impact on his life had been curiously unexpected especially after their rocky start. He'd contemplated it a lot since her unfortunate death. How could you go from wanting someone out of your life to seriously wondering, now that they were gone, how your life was ever going to be the same without them in it?


The closer they got to John more signs of his ruination became evident. The weather had finally turned cold but John had no overcoat on nor gloves or hat. John was wearing what he had come to think of as John's uniform - black suit, white button down shirt, black shoes, but only one shoe still adorned his feet. His hair was a rat's nest filled with mud and some substance that he'd rather not think about. There was blood on John's hands, on his shirt over the gunshot wound to his side, on his socks and on what he could see of his face. He was unshaven, unwashed and thoroughly undone. His uniform had so many rips and tares it looked as if he had been fighting real demons the past couple of weeks instead of just the ones inside himself. John's wretched state pulled him towards him. As he got closer he could see that John's inner demons and grief were tearing him apart. For her, he had to give John something that he could use in that fight. He was going to tell John about his Detective Carter.

He approached John very cautiously, the way you might approach a fatally wounded, but still very lethal, creature. As he got closer he could see that John was holding something in his slightly damaged left hand. Never touching his face, just below his nose but close enough to breath in its scent, John had a strangle hold on a white cashmere scarf. Elias could tell that John knew he was there by the almost infinitesimal incline of his head in his direction. When he got as close as he felt was reasonable he could see John trembling. He feared that John had been outside in his poor condition too long and was now suffering from exposure. He took one more step and spoke to John.


"Hello John." He was sure that he heard him but John didn't acknowledge him. "I....." Even though he had been thinking about what he would say to him since they had located him an hour ago, he was now at a loss for words. What do you say to the walking dead? He found himself stammering. "I, I can't tell you....."


John spoke then, a hollow dry, wretchedly empty sound...almost a whisper. "What do you want Elias?"


"You've been missing for most of two weeks John. Mr. Wren and Detective Fusco have, to say the least, left no stone unturned in their efforts to locate you. You may find it strange but I too was....worried about you."


Since his first run-in with John, Elias had taken an interest in him. Later, after kidnapping the Carter kid and John's rescue of the kid, Elias had also become interested in the kid's mother. Detective Carter had been no more than a minor irritation that he had planned on swatting, until that is, John issued his warning to everyone concerning her. When he took that sympathy flower arrangement to her desk to scare her Elias had no idea that he was really taking his life in his hands. That was before he knew what she truly meant to the man in the suit. Since her erstwhile rescue of him Elias started looking at the woman, Jocelyn Carter. She obviously was a unique woman if she had such a fascinatingly dangerous and talented monster like John willing to start a war with everyone to protect her and her son.


After his attempt to remove Det. Carter from his life by using that inept CI Bottle Cap to shoot her, Elias and everyone else received the warning from John about what he would do to him and anyone who tried to hurt her again. That's when Elias became very sure that, if he was extremely careful, he could use her as possible leverage to control John if needed. He'd seen John work and knew what he was capable of. So he had no doubt that John, being the monster that he is, would coldly and efficiently do exactly what he said if she was hurt - "...put them all in the ground." Elias just didn't think her death would put John there too. But Elias could see that right now, John was at the edge of a very deep and icy abyss. He had that proverbial "one foot in the grave" look and it wouldn't take much to make him slip and fall all the way in.


There it was again, that hollow sound. A small mirthless laugh was forced from John that ended in a sob. John spun and advanced on Elias so quickly that Elias was forced back three or four steps before he realized John had stopped moving. Elias' bodyguard, Tony Marconi had moved in front of Elias and drawn his gun when John had started his advance. It was now pointed at John's head. When Elias realized that John was not going to move any further he had Marconi put his gun down and give them space. Tony, aka Scarface, reluctantly lowered his weapon and moved back, but didn't holster it.


Elias could fully see John's face now. It too was bruised, cut, and bloodied. In the dirt caking John's face Elias could clearly see streaks down his face from the tears which had been falling the entire time they had been speaking. He realized then that John had not been trembling from exposure when he first found him, but that he had been crying. Seeing John so devastated and openly grieving knocked Elias a bit off center. He didn't understand how someone like John could change and become what he was looking at now - such a broken and possibly irredeemable man. He used a softer tone when he started to speak.


"John I just wanted you to know how sorry I am that..."


John raised his head and let loose what Elias thought might be a laugh but it was ragged at the edges and full of an approaching madness.


"You're sorry!? About what?" John's voice began to rise. "You should be overjoyed because, now you have everything you really wanted. HR is gone, the Russians are on the way out and soon the city will be yours to run as you please." He was almost screaming at Elias now. His body was shaking from anger, grief and hate that had suddenly surged through him. "That bothersome cop, that extraordinary woman is no longer a problem for you. Aren't you happy?" Breathing hard from his tirade, with a quiver in his voice John continued. "You're sorry, what, because you're not the one who pulled the trigger? Or that you couldn't be there to see her die, shot down in the street like the dog you thought she was? What great fun you missed Elias, not being able to watch her die in my arms." As John whispered those last words he crumpled to his knees as quiet sobs wracked his body again. "Soon you can dance on both our graves."


"How could John think that he had still wanted her out of his life?", Elias thought. Elias had grown quite fond of Det. Carter and was truly going to miss her. He knew that she didn't feel the same way about him but that was ok. On that cold night under a starless sky when he went to meet his death at the hands of HR, her rescue of Elias had changed what he thought and felt about the Detective. In fact he was very unhappy that she was no longer a ‘worrisome' problem for him. Her death had left a space in his life and heart that he hadn't even known she had filled. After what she had done for him how could John think that.... Oh. John didn't know. John wasn't aware that she had rescued him from certain death that night. She had become his saving grace and angel even if she had despised him. So Det. Carter must not have told John about their....arrangement. Now that was a conversation he would have loved to hear.


"Oh....Oh no John" Elias said quietly as he took three steps toward him. "I found you so I could tell you what Det. Carter had become to me; had done for me. I have....had, grown quite fond of our Detective." John's head shot up at Elias' last words.


"Our. Don't say that." John growled. "She's not Harold's, she's not Fusco's, and she's not the NYPD's. And she sure as hell will never be yours. She's mine, mine and Taylor's, just us...ours. If you ever say that again, I will kill you where you stand."

Just to appease John he capitulated by telling him, "I understand John. I won't say it again. But John please listen to me now. Detective Carter wouldn't want..."


"Listen. To you!", John snarled. "What can you tell me about what Joss would want? Do you know how terrified she was when you kidnapped and threatened her child? You made her walk away from me because you forced me to choose to save yet another child's life over another person's so you could get what you wanted. You tried to kill her you piece of scum.", he spat out. "You're a monster and her name will never come from your mouth again. "


Elias is transfixed by the murderous rage that's sprung to life in John's eyes. John's current condition had caused Elias to forget about John's abilities and the unexpected speed with which he charges has Elias rooted to the spot. Elias heard the shot before he could react then saw John fall and lay still.












Enter the security code shown below:
Note: You may submit either a rating or a review or both.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.