Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story


- Text Size +

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


Un-betaed

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

 

Days in the Lives of Jethro Gibbs and Family

 

 

Chapter 37               In these walls

 

(Just a bit of departure from the usual.  Jethro is a ‘man’s man’ but with deep emotional barriers.  But what does he actually feel deep, deep down inside when he allows himself to open up, if not to another person, but to himself?  He may not voice it but it’s there.)

 

 

I feel you in these walls.  Everywhere I turn, in every nook and cranny, in every inch, in every molecule of air, you are there to taunt me.  Your absence leaves a vacuum that nothing can fill.  No amount of work, chiseling, beer, whiskey, no nothing, fills the void.  I’m here but you are not.  What did I do to cause you to leave?  I thought that you loved me.  You said that you did.  I closed myself away for so long to avoid pain like this, but you made me open up and allow you in and now look at me, alone again.  

 

I hate you.  No, I love you.  I hate myself for loving you so much.  Come back to me please.  I’ll do whatever you want me to do.  Just tell me what I have to do to have you back in my life.  I despise myself for being so weak.  I’ve never groveled before for anything, especially not for a woman.  That was one area where I didn’t have any trouble acquiring company but then you happened.  I’m like a ‘sick puppy’ without you, wanting to have you near me.  Will you ever return?  Will I ever have your love again?  

 

If anyone knew the length to which I would go to have you, they would boot me out of the ‘tough guy club’.  I don’t care.  My heart knows that it is empty without you.  Why is it that a man is perceived weak if he loves with his whole heart?  What’s the use of having a heart if you can’t use it?  Aren’t relationships about two people loving each other as no one else loves them.  I love you like I’ve never loved before and that takes nothing from any other loves that I have had before in my life.  How can I say that?  Because it’s true.  You are unique and I am unique when I am with you.  We each bring out in each other things that no one else can elicit.  Neither of us is perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but ‘I am my best self, my truest self when I am with you’. (excerpt from Sanditon, PBS series, season 1 episode 7, Sidney Parker says to Charlotte Heywood)

 

I love you, want you and miss you.  I impatiently wait for your return.

 

Some of my love,

(You’ll have to return to get the rest of my love)

 

Jethro

 

A/N:  Okay don’t all yell at the same time.  Jethro and Margie have not split up.  Marjorie’s away on assignment and Jethro just felt like voicing his feelings.  He may or may not have ever given this letter to Margie but his feelings are evident.  Thnx for reading.












Enter the security code shown below:
Note: You may submit either a rating or a review or both.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.