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Don’t Take it for Granted

Chapter 4

“Can we try to do that?”  

My question lingers in the air and I wait for a response from Jethro. This has to seem to him like some horrible nightmare because it certainly feels like one to me. It seems like hours before he responds.

“Alexis I am willing to do whatever I have to do in order to alleviate this situation.  Although the doctors say that you should regain all of your memories on your own within 72 hours, there is no harm in our trying to lessen that recovery time frame.  Believe me when I say that I am not trying to add any more stress to the situation but we have always been honest with each other and I see no reason why we should stop even in this current matter.  The thought of you forgetting me hurts me more than I can express and to think that I may have done something to you to cause you to forget me cuts me to the core.”

“Jethro, that is your name right, my Dad told me that your name is Jethro?”

“You really don’t even remember my name?”

Before I can answer, Dad comes down with Richard and Nicole.  They rush to hug their father and tell him that they are going to spend the weekend with their grandparents.  They kiss and hug him again and then come to kiss and hug me.  The three of them leave and Jethro returns to sit on the sofa.  He hangs his head down in to his hands and takes a deep sigh.  I feel so bad for him.

“Jethro?”  I call his name but he doesn’t answer.  I sit next to him but do not touch him.  I don’t know if he will welcome my touch so I just sit and wait.

“Alexis this is hard for me to understand, no let me rephrase that.  I understand because something similar happened to me years ago.  This is hard for me to feel.  Alexis you are the light in my life.  You are the spark of warmth in my life.  To realize that you don’t know me, don’t remember what we mean to each other is just a lot to process.  You don’t even know my name.  That hurts.”

“I am sorry Jethro.  I want to remember you.  I want to remember all that we are to each other. Knowing me the way that I do I know that you must be someone really special for me to be involved with you. I have kept myself to myself for years in hopes of finding that special someone and for me to have married you tells me that you are that special someone but I don’t remember you or us. This is tearing me up inside too. So let’s do what my psychiatrist friend recommends.  Share with me the things that make us Alexis and Jethro.”

“Well first of all I call you Margie, short for Marjorie.  When we first met you told me to call you Margie and you called me Ace.”

“Why would I call you Ace when that is not your name?”

“Well we met under some unusual circumstances and you suggested it was safer for the both of us not to know each other’s real names.”

“Yes that sounds like something that I would say.  Dad told me that you work for Naval Criminal Investigative Service.  Have we worked together on any cases?”

“Yes we have but not for a long time. Years ago you shared your international contact information with my director and me and we have used them more than relying on your direct contact.  That saves you from a charge of favoritism just because I’m your husband.”

“Again that sounds like something I would do. So what do we do for fun, you and I?”

“Together or individually?”

“Both.”

“Well as you can see from the basement I enjoy woodworking.  You enjoy cooking and dancing.”

“Do you and I often dance together or do I have to dance alone?”

“Around the house we dance together all of the time.  Once in a while you and I go out for an evening of dinner and dancing.  You go out dancing with friends once every other month and it’s usually the same weekend that the twins spend with their grandparents.”

“Speaking of parents, do your parents and I get along?”

“My mother died when I was a teenager but you met my dad and you two got along well.  He died a few years ago.  I was an only child so the children and you are my only family. Well I do have friends who are like family to me but you know what I mean.”

“Yes I do know what you mean.  So how long have we known each other and how long have we been married?”

“We met over 30 years ago and married 8 years ago.”

“Dad told me that you have been married 4 other times and that your first wife and child died.  I’m sorry to hear that.  I won’t ask about the other marriages because that’s in the past and none of my business.  Why did you marry me?”

“I married you because I fell in love with you and wanted you in my life.  When we first met all of those years ago you saved my life without knowing anything about me other than I was injured and needing care.  Years later we met again and got to know each other and fell in love, married, had children and now here we are.”

I sit and listen to Jethro talk and try to process what he is saying.  I can tell that it is difficult for him to share this with me by the hesitation and strain in his voice.  It makes me feel bad to be the cause of this discomfort in him.  Then his stomach growls and cuts the tension in the air.  I smile and say, “Sounds like someone is hungry.  Come on let me prepare a plate for you.”

He sits at the dining room table while I prepare a plate for him.  He eats and I sit silently and just watch him.  I know it’s probably a bit disconcerting to him for me to watch him eat but I observe him to familiarize myself with him.  He is a very handsome man and I love that gray hair and those sparkling blue eyes.  There is pain in those eyes.  I see it when he looks at me and I don’t look away.  This pains me also because even though I don’t know him, it pains me to cause him pain.

“Do you want any dessert?”

“No thank you, I’m fine.  May I have a beer though?”

“Sure.”  I go to the kitchen to get a beer for him.  I had set the food out for him with a glass of water. I don’t drink alcoholic beverages so I didn’t think to bring anything other than water.

He finishes dinner and says that he wants to take a shower.  He leaves and goes upstairs.  I then remember that we have not settled on sleeping arrangements.  While he’s in the shower I go upstairs and prepare the guest room for me and take some of my clothes from the master bedroom to the guest room.  I would not dare ask him to sleep in the guest room.  This is his home and I would not dare ask him to leave his master bedroom when I am the odd person in this house now. While setting my things up in the guest room I look up and see him in the doorway.  I left the door open on purpose just in case he came looking for me.