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Things best left forgotten

Chapter 7

Not a good time to take a rest because as soon as my memory returns I realize that I have so much work to do at my office.  My mother convinces me to wait until the morning but I compromise and agree not to go to my office until the morning but I do work on the files that I have at home.  I can tell that my mother wants to talk about what John said but I don’t, not now.  She showers and heads off to bed while I sit in my living room reading a file.  Of course my mind starts to wander no matter I hard I try to focus.  John loves me.  He said it in front of a room full of people.  Why didn’t he ever say it to me when it was just the two of us?  But he loves me. How can I sleep after hearing that?  It’s too late for us, isn’t it?  Enough of that I say and return to my work.

The next day my mother leaves for home and I head into my office.  My court schedule is clear until next week and I do not have any client meetings until Friday.  Today is Wednesday so I have time to catch up and it’s good that I only lost a day.  It’s amazing how quickly your life can change.  I forgot two years of my life in an instant.  I shudder to think about if I lost my memory forever. But I am so thankful that I didn’t.  I have to do something special for my friends who came to my rescue.  While I try to think of something I hear a knock at my door. I bid them to enter and a delivery person enters with a bouquet of flowers.  I sign for them and read the card, ‘we are so glad that you remember us so we will celebrate tonight at the Palace at 7:00 pm., your friends, Todd, Nora, Michael and John”.  I can’t believe that they are doing this.  Nora probably conned them in to doing this.  Well I never turn down a free meal so let me finish my work and get home to get ready.

Not wanting to arrive late I get there ten minutes early.  I see Nora and Todd and smile because they are standing as far away from each other as they can.  I approach and give them each a hug.  Thanking them both for the dinner we move into the restaurant.  Michael and John are already at the table.  Wanting to know I asked whose idea this was and everyone looked at Todd.

“What are you crazy?  Did you think I wouldn’t celebrate you getting your memory back?  I only have one friend in this world and if you forget me I have no one so of course I’m celebrating.”

I get up and go around the table to hug him and kiss his cheek.

“You are the best Todd Manning.”

“Don’t tell him that Evangeline it will go to his head” Nora says.

“I don’t care it’s the truth as are you all.”  So I go around the table and hug and kiss each of them on the cheek.

We order, eat and chat.  It is an enjoyable time.  As dinner ends we rise to go our separate ways and then John asks to speak with me.  The others continue toward the exit and John leads me to the patio.

“So what do you want to talk about John? If it is about the wrist thing I’m not ready to talk about that.”

“No it’s not about the wrist thing directly but it is indirectly.  I want you to know that I’ve decided to get therapy.  After your session last night I realized that counseling might help me to resolve the lingering issues that I have regarding the loss of my father and Caitlin.  This morning after I met with Nora about Christian Vega I called Dr. Jamison and spoke with him.  He recommended some places that might work for me.  With his assistance I’ve filed for medical leave and will enter treatment this Saturday.  It is an intensive twenty-four hours live-in facility just outside of Philadelphia.  I didn’t want to go to St. Anne’s, that’s just too close and will allow me no privacy.  I will be gone for at least a month.  When I return healthy may I come to you and ask for a second chance?”

“What will be different when you return John? We tried once so what makes you think a second time will be any different?”

“Because we both will be different.  I want a life with you Evangeline.”

“I won’t wait for you John.  What if you change your mind and I wait and then I have nothing.  I’m not saying that I’m going out looking for a man but if one comes my way and I’m interested then who knows what may happen.  I will not reject him just to wait for you.  That’s too much to ask.”

“All right then what about this?  When I return and you’re not involved with anyone will you at least consider giving me another chance?”

“Well when you put it that way then there is a possibility for that to happen.”

“I’ll take that then.  I probably won’t see you before I leave and they frown upon contact with the outside so I’ll see you when I return.”

In an effort to show John that I wish him well I hug him and tell him, ‘I wish you well John’.

/

My caseload is keeping me busy day and night.  I’m glad Thanksgiving is next week and I will take the week off to get some rest.  The last few months have been hard but I have enjoyed it and plus it served a purpose.  It kept me from thinking about John and did not allow me any social time so there was no new man in my life.  John will just love to hear that.  Since it’s been longer than one month since I saw John and I know he has not returned because I have been to the police station several times and Antonio is still filling in for him.  But one good thing has happened since John left.  Antonio did manage to get Christian released.  I’m just glad that he didn’t ask me to help with that case. I have not asked anything about Christian and Natalie and I have no plans to do so.  Natalie is someone best left forgotten and I intend to keep it that way.

Finally the Saturday before Thanksgiving and I have the week off.  Nora invites me for Thanksgiving dinner and I accept so I don’t have to cook but I will do something small because I want to have my own Thanksgiving alone in my apartment.  I have so much for which to be thankful.  My mom wants me to come home but I beg off and say that I will try to make it for Christmas instead.  She doesn’t like it but she acquiesces.  I make it to the store to buy what I need for the week and for my special celebration and make it back to my apartment before the snow starts.  Talk about perfect timing.  For tonight’s dinner I choose something light, baked salmon and a salad.  Sitting down I start my meal, as there’s a knock at the door. Going to the door I ask who it is. 

“Evangeline, it’s John.  May I come in?”

I rush to the door and swing it open.  Surprised to see him I just stare at him trying to determine if there is anything different about him and then I realize that he’s smiling and his eyes are clear and not shadowed as they usually are.

“What are you doing here John?  Are you just getting back to town?”

“Yes I am and I drove straight here.  I haven’t even been to my apartment.”

“Oh my goodness come in and have a seat. I was just sitting down for dinner.  Have you eaten, would you like to join me?”

“Sure I would.  Let me just wash my hands.”

He goes to the kitchen to wash his hands and I pull out another plate and fill it with food and place it on the table.  I’m so surprised I don’t know what else to say so I don’t say anything and just start eating.  He must realize that I’m tongue tied so he doesn’t say anything either and we eat without any dinner chat.  Finishing he takes the plates to the kitchen, washes, dries and puts them away.  I’m still sitting at the table dumbstruck and he takes my hand, pulls me up and leads me to the sofa.  We sit and look at each other.

“No questions?” John asks

“How did it go?  Are you all finished?  You look good.”

“Yes I’m all finished and everything went well.  How have you been? You look good too.”

“Thanks.  I’ve been swamped at work since you left.  I’m taking next week off to rest.  I’ve haven’t taken any time off from work in a long time and I’m looking forward to it.  Why did you stop here before going home aren’t you tired and plus it’s late.”

“I wanted to see you first.  At our last conversation I asked you a question and now I’m here for the answer.  Will you give me another chance with you?  I have not changed my mind Evie.  I love you and I want to make a life with you.”

How do I answer him without sounding harsh and do I really want to try again with John? I stand and look out of the window with my back to him.  He doesn’t say anything and I can only imagine how my hesitation is affecting him.  Why am I afraid to give him another chance?  Now that we both know what is at stake won’t we try harder to make things work. When did I get to be such a coward? Probably since I got my heart broken but John explained his reasoning. But do I really believe what he said.  YES.  So what is my answer to his question?  I turn and move to sit next to him.  Looking him in the eyes I say,

“When do you return to work?” I can see that John is caught off guard, as that is definitely not what he expected me to say.

“Well I have to see Dr. Jamison on Monday to get a release back to work so I guess that I will return on Tuesday and with Thanksgiving on Thursday it will make for a short week.”

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

“I haven’t made any plans probably have it with Michael and Marcie at her parents house.  What about you?”

“I’m having an early dinner with Nora, Matthew and Bo and then Bo and Matthew will go to the Buchanans.  I will return home for my own private dinner. Would you care to join me?”

“Really?  Of course I will.  Just tell me the time and I will be here.  Do I need to bring anything?”

“No just yourself.”

“So does this mean that you are willing to try again with me?  I really hope so.”

“Yes I am John.  We all deserve second chances but this time we will take things slowly.  Anyway you owe me a date to the ballet.  We never did do that remember?”

“Yes I remember and I will go to the ballet and the opera if it means that we can be together.”

“Don’t force it John.  We will do things that we both like to do, things like bowling, movies and pool for starters.  Get comfortable again with each other.  How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect.  Thank you so much Evangeline.  I will not disappoint you again.  Now it is late and I am tired so I’d better go now.  Oh before I leave I also want to tell you that I’m moving out of the Angel Square Hotel.  I don’t know to where just yet but my doctor advised that I do in order to continue my progress.  And would you…”

Then John stops talking and I could tell that he’s not sure whether he should continue. I wait a moment and then say,

“Would I what John?  Go ahead and say it I won’t bite, really I won’t.”

“Would you help me look for another apartment? I had a thought that if you’re taking off next week then maybe I will ask Dr. Jamison to make my return to work the Monday after Thanksgiving and I will have next week off too and we can spend the week together doing things together.  I haven’t any time to do fun things in a long time too.”

“Well if you get the time off then I think that is a good plan John.  Now go home and get some rest.  Call me on Monday and let me know if you have the time off and we can plan from then.  Good night John.”

“Good night Evangeline.”