Sometimes art imitates life, other times life imitates art. Some breakups are so painful that we go into a deep depression without even realizing it. We close ourselves off and only 'exist' in the world. And sometimes it takes a random stranger to snap us out of this auto-pilot existence.
Posted portion of a short story I have been working on. The muse left during my horrible breakup....
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
After about six weeks of drowning my soul in junk food to heal my broken heart, I ventured out from my self-imposed exile. It was one thing being dumped. It was another to realize that the last two years of my life had been a lie. The man I would marry, have kids with and live ‘happily ever after, in a split-level ranch, with 2.5 kids and dog’, had used me, lied to me and carried on a separate life from “ours” for two years. After changing into some clean sweats, I headed to the Fresh Market for food. In my own world I kept thinking back on the past two years and what I had done in a previous life for someone to hurt me the way Sean had. It was inconceivable that someone who claimed to love and care about me had purposely lied to me and would hurt me like this. A whole two fucking years. I couldn’t help but feel inadequate, less than a woman, and unlovable. It felt like he had ripped my heart out with a knife and stomped it to dust under his sized 13 combat boots. I didn’t realize I was standing there in a daze, nor that I was standing there crying until the most sexually charged voice brought me back to the here and now.
“Are you okay, darling?” he asked with some much warmth and concern that startled me.
I looked up and gazed into the most beautiful ocean blue eyes I had ever seen. The warmth they processed sent chills over my body. I tried to speak, but I had lost the ability to speak. Once again, the stranger asked if I was okay, this time leaning in to wipe the tears away. A smell of pure masculinity washed over me. Pine and oak with a hint of spice intoxicated my senses. I didn’t know what was going on with my body and brain, but this stranger was reducing my highly educated, very articulate self to a mute idiot. Smiling, I mumbled something about ‘just fine, like rain’ and rushed to the checkout.
Fleeing the scene like he had the plague, I had to distance myself before something in me sobbed uncontrollably in public. After paying for my groceries, I raced to my truck for a quick getaway. I quickly placed my groceries in the back and made my way to the driver’s side of my truck only to run smack into a hard wall of muscles.
“…whoa, darling…slow down before you hurt yourself,” a recently sounding voice smoothed.
Looking up, again I came eye to eye with those beautiful blue eyes. I gasped as his presence was doing something to me that I couldn’t handle nor need in my life. I tried to skirt around him, but he gently wrapped his very large and strong hands around my waist to hold me in place.
“Hey, I don’t know you and you don’t know me; but I can sense something is wrong. You don’t seem to be in the condition to drive right now. Want to walk over to Starbucks and grab something to drink and talk,” he said with some much warmth that even his beautiful pearly white smile had me smiling and almost agreeing. Almost! Shaking my head as if I was literally shaking the idea and thought out of my head; I forcefully removed his hands from my person and straightened my back while holding my head high.
“Exactly, you don’t know me and what I’ve gone though, and I definitely don’t know you. So, if you would please excuse me, I need to leave,” I said with more of a bite than I wanted to give. Stepping back with his hands up, he nodded his head and gave another one of his heart-warming smiles.
I hopped in my truck and looked back at the gorgeous man staring at me through the back window with worried eyes. The whole ride home I couldn’t forget the look he gave me and the feeling of warmth I felt. I also took a long look at myself in the mirror. I saw more of me than I wanted to see. I had packed on more pounds than ever could have imagined. Today was a new day. I was reborn to a new, stronger person. I was taking back my life, and I would start living my life. I’m ALIVE TODAY.
After a morning of boring phone calls, I hit the gym. I hadn’t been in over six months. I really hate the gym. I chose this one for the ‘no fear…no intimidation’ mantra they have going on. I’m not overweight or completely out of shape. I just despise sweating, panting, or hearing myself breath, or gasping for air. I have a lot of cute workout clothes I wear to the market and to run errands in. I guess I should wear them to actually workout. My normal workout partner was studying for her boards. So, I was doing this alone. All. By. Myself. (Yes, I was signing the song to myself as I exited my truck.) As I walked in, I had this weird feeling that someone was watching me. Dismissing it as paranoia, I scanned in and went to the locker room to put my stuff in the locker for later. Again, it felt like someone was watching me. I scanned the gym, but I didn’t see anyone I knew, so I shook it off. As I put my beats on I found a nice stationary bike to warm up on. Again, that feeling that someone was watching me raised the hair on the back on my neck. You know that feeling where you look, but you don’t see anyone, but you know someone is watching you. Yea, that exact one. I sat there for about 15 minutes and no one came up to me, so I felt it was safe to move on to the circuit equipment. I went to the less crowded area, where the iron pumping people were not doing their thing. I sat down and started with the abductor machine. You know the one where your legs are spread a part and you push them together. Heck there was no one back there, so I thought it would be a good idea too also belt out Rhianna’s S &M. I don’t what scared me more-a person tapping my shoulder or the actual person tapping my shoulder.
“Nice to see you again,” blue eyes said with a twinkle in them.
“…excuse you,” feigning any knowledge of him.
“Fresh Market the other week…First time here…” he said a way to make conversation.
“…Oh yeah…nope just haven’t been in about six months…” and probably won’t be back for another six praying he would just walk away.
“Didn’t think I had seen you here before,” he said flashing his beautiful pearly whites and looking down at me and how I was sitting. His smile turned devious. “So you like chains and wipes, huh? Didn’t peg you for a BDSM type.”
“Huh…Wait…WHAT???” I replied, not able to comprehend how nor where he got that from.
“Just teasing you darling,” he stated, placing his enormous hand on my shoulder and massaging it.
Shaking my head looking at him, I was still lost, and it showed.
“You were singing ‘S&M’ by Rhianna. I was just teasing you darling,” he clarified.
“Oh... yeah…sorry was lost there for a moment. I thought I was back here by myself,” I replied, trying to get out of this very awkward moment.
“Unless you really are into that kind of stuff,” he said tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
“Sorry, but that’s a personal question. And I don’t know you like that,” I said getting up and moving away from him. “I don’t know you at all,” I replied looking at him like he had lost his mind.
“I’m Gavin O’Patrick,” he said like I should I have known or remembered.
“Okay, Gavin, that’s a personal question. And I still don’t know you like that,” I retorted.
“Okay, sorry I didn’t get your name,” he said trying to get my name.
“I know,” I said as I finished cleaning the equipment. “I didn’t give it to you,” and walked away.
“Really…” he laughed out. “YOU REALLY ARE GOING TO WALK AWAY AND NOT TELL ME YOUR NAME,” he yelled following me.
“Bye Gavin,” I said not looking back.
I saw another guy who looked like he lifted weights as a profession walk over to him shaking his head and laughing at Gavin.
...work in progress. Healing takes time.