“Aera! Aera! Aera!” A glossy face smiled, perfect teeth shining bright like pearls. 

    “We love you Cuties!” Many of his fangirls screamed and he laughed softly, eyes crinkling up at the corners. 

    “We hope you like our new song. Please treat us well!” 

    “I LOVE YOU AERA!” Pretty blue eyes came up on the projector as they turned to look for the voice who had shouted. 

    “I love you too!” At the cute aegyo in his voice and the heart made with his arms, the girls went crazy. 

    “Yah, I think the Cuties come to see Aera more than the rest of us!” 

    “Oh? Are you jealous?”

    “No no no no don’t misunderstand me. Aera’s so cute it’s hard not to come to see him.”

    “But I think our maknae I.H is pretty cute hehe.”

    “We all are right?”

    “RIGHT!” The crowd answered with a firm shout and the group of guys all laughed and hugged each other before getting in formation for the next set. 

*** 

    Groaning, he flopped onto the couch, reaching up to throw the headset away from him. God his body hurt. 

    “Tired already Hyung?” Kang-min queried behind him with a smirk. 

    “I need a break.” He answered, voice full of exhaustion. 

    “I thought we were gonna go drinking later. You don’t want to?” Of course, his voice sounded polite but the hands that found themself on his ass said a different story. Lifting his head, he turned his face, glaring up at him. 

    “Kangie, stop groping him. I’m sure there’ll be somebody’s dick for you to gobble later.” The younger man pouted, reluctantly letting go of his ass.

    “But, Bonnie-hyung has the biggest one in the group.” 

    “Size isn’t everything you know.”

    “Tell those insatiable bitches with pussies out there. The bigger it is the better they like it.”

    “That’s why I prefer men. We don’t care how big it is, just as long as it fills us up, makes us feel good, and makes us cum.” 

    “Don’t be a fool. Size queens are everywhere.” 

    “Great job everyone! Good show.” The voice of the program director cut through the interesting topic of conversation and he lifted up to sit. 

    “Tomorrow is a free day for you all, a gift before we start promotions for our new era.” Tired empty and excited eyes stared at him as he continued, 

    “Go home and rest up.” 

    “Thank you Concert Director Sang.” Eyes lifted to those of Kang-nim, his gaze predatory and unashamed in their lust. 

    “Since they butt fucked you, you’ve been such a slut Kangie. I remember you crying and begging them to stop just like the rest of us.” He didn’t seem embarrassed at his very rude statement and grinned instead. 

    “You know as well as I do, hyung, how good it starts to feel. If I remember you correctly, you came so much you ruined Sajang-nim’s couch. She had to throw it away and buy a new one.” His Aussie accented English came out strong and some of the other members started to chuckle. 

    “Are you two done? I’m ready to drink and get laid.” Kim Im-hyun interrupted with a pout, arms crossed. He stood up and pushed past the annoying little fuck. 

    “I’m going home.”

    “See you in a day Hyung.”

    “Bye Hyung.” Ignoring their farewells, he pushed open the doors, got into an awaiting black van and slammed the door shut. 

*** 

    His parents had most certainly not prepared him. Neither had his aunts and uncles, some of whom were some of the biggest names in the industry. Laying his head back against the seat, he closed his eyes. When he was a kid, he’d go to shows and be backstage when they gave interviews. Hidden. He’d always been given a place to be, a child’s place. And he had been glad. It had never interested him in what the adults did. As long as they left him alone, he was fine. 

    “Fuck,” He cursed softly under his breath. The industry was a dog-eat-dog world and they’d all taken turns fucking him. They’d thrown him out to the wolves to be devoured. What a sick joke. Lifting shaky fingers to his hair, he slid the slick strands back. 

    If he’d known that his life would be on puppet strings, he would have stayed in the States. He would have stayed with the one person that meant everything to him. 

*** 

    Fingers gripped the sides of the toilet and violent sounds of vomiting cut through the mindless chatter from the television. The sound of spit and running water brought the moment to an end and soon, he reappeared into the living room. 

    “Um….are you okay?” Brown eyes looked up at him. Licking his now clean teeth, he leaned down over the woman, gazing deep into her pretty orbs. 

    “Better now that you’re here. When’d you come in?” She lifted hands to press against his chest as lips began to kiss nut-brown skin. 

    “While you were in the bathroom.” He hummed against her and trailed his tongue up the side of her neck. 

    “You fly back soon.” It wasn’t a question and they both knew the answer. But still, his lips kissed and sucked, making her moan slightly.     

    “You gon fly me back out again Papi?” Lips smirking now, he pulled away from her and pushed her to lay back against his couch. 

    “Depends.” Her eyes were coquettish as his fingers pulled apart the pretty white lace robe. He was gonna go to hell for this. Probably had a first-class ticket long ago. Licking his lips, he watched her dark nipples harden against the sheer lace cups of her bra and chuckled. 

    “Are you gonna be a good girl?” He asked, lifting a finger to brush a pebble. She inhaled, slightly arching her back. 

    “Are you?” Fingers now took the nub between his index and thumb and pinched, making her moan. 

    “Si Papi…” Pressing his hand flat against her ribcage, he followed the curves of her body down to her triangle. Taking hold of it, he held the mound firmly. 

    “Tonight, this is mine right?”

    “Mmhm…”

    “Use your words.”

    “Yes Daddy.” Already she had soaked through the thin lacy fabric, her smell sweet. Lifting away from her, he grabbed the nearby blindfold and tied it behind her head. As his fingers shoved down his sweats, he took in the beautiful gift before him. Yet again, he was a slave to his deepest darkest fantasies. For a moment in time…she could and would be just what he wanted. Supernova Washington. 

*** 

    They didn’t understand. They laughed at him. Curiously watched him as he sat in front of a computer screen watching women they’d never before seen get railed time after time after time. 

    “Is that her real ass Hyung?” 

    “The way it jiggles reminds me of jello…”    

    “Look at her huge boobs…whoa…” He’d sit there, hands by his sides, eyes locked on the screen for hours on end. 

    “You like black girls Bonnie?”

    “Obviously. He watches them all the time.”

    “Wah….she’s kinda pretty. I wonder what it would feel like to fuck one.”

    “They have too much for me. I’m good with Korean girls.”

    “Nah, white ones are better. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and lots of pink pussy.” 

    “Go away.” He’d say, irritation cutting through the chatter like a knife. 

    “Oh, he’s mad.”

    “Hyung, you’re cumming already. You haven’t even touched yourself yet.” 

    “Yah, Kangie. Let’s go. Let’s leave him alone.” Soon, they’d leave him in silence once again, his focus once more on the bouncing tits and pink dick stuffed slits. They didn’t understand….he had to become better. He had to control himself….train himself so when he went back to the States, he’d be ready for her. 

*** 

    He started using those same strange objects of before, starting small. A small vibrator wand against his frenulum. That drove him almost insane and the pain from withholding his orgasm ate him up in his belly for a couple days afterward. He found that when he coupled the ring with the wand, it built up even more pain and by the end of it he was nearly shaking. Sick bastard. Good for nothing piece of shit. Filthy weepy cocked bitch.  

    “Mm Nova….” Effeminate man whore. Toy. Pet. Cum bucket. Puppy.

    “Nova…..Oh God Nova…..” He pounded away all of the words….the insults…the degradation and humiliation. Fucked her so hard she looked like she was going to squirt and he hoped she did… all over him. Reaching down, he played with her clitoris until she screamed so loud there was no way the neighbors next to him didn’t hear her. He got his wish as she wet their hips and thighs. She grew limp as soon he pulled out of her. Inhaling sharply, he breathed heavily as he sat back against the couch, dick throbbing. He’d been so close….so close to coming inside of her this time.

     Licking his lips at the wet slimy mess looking back at him, he allowed himself to finally come, long angry spurts shooting up into the air. Closing his eyes, he continued to empty himself, a deep shaky breath as the feeling of her mouth and tongue came to swallow the last bits of it. Opening his eyes to drift down to the blindfolded woman, he slipped fingers into her hair. 

    “Good girl…” He praised before rolling his eyes back. He had to find another one. The minute he almost came inside of them, it was time to move on. Pity though he thought as his eyes drifted down to the slurping mouth of the woman. She was the best one he’d had so far. 

*** 

    Lifting a towel to dry his hair, he headed back into the living room. Sitting down on the sex-scented couch, he reached for the remote and turned on the television. 

    “Idol group KASSIA have comeback with their third single ‘Kiss’ and fans are already obsessed over the video! The group comprises of five members: Chani (29), Bon-hwa(27), Gang-bum(24), Kang-min(22), and I.H (18). For being such a young group, they’ve already amassed a following of over 10 million fans in just short of three years of their debut. Some fans say that Bon-hwa, born in the United States, is perhaps the most alluring member and critics agree that his silky swagger and smooth soulful voice present a delightful contrast with his angelic and innocent appearance.” He couldn’t help but laugh out loud, empty humorless eyes watching the circus act before him. Innocent….Angelic….there wasn’t shit about him innocent or angelic. His dry smirk fell away from his mouth and he flipped the channel. He liked so many dirty things. Drinking. Smoking. Fucking. He was trash and he liked it that way. Letting the remote fall against the couch, he picked up his phone. 

    The least he could do was send her back with a parting gift for her services. Enough money to shut her up. He knew she’d eventually tell someone about their escapades. She’d brag about fucking an idol and he honestly didn’t care. If it weren’t for his goddamn image, he’d gladly brag about her too. Tapping the confirmation for her flight back to the States, he cash-apped her a pretty little dime and with a sigh, was finished with it all. Going through his photos, he breezed eyes over all the pictures he had asked her to send him. Her neck with a baby girl choker. A shot of her ass tooted up in the mirror. A half shot of her thong-covered triangle, ‘Daddy’s property’ written across the front.

     Licking his lips, he deleted them one by one, hesitating on the one he had taken of her tits covered in his cum. Sighing, he deleted it and threw his phone away from him. Getting up, he got dressed in cozy sweatpants and a t-shirt. He needed to get high or something. Take the fucking edge off. His nerves felt like they were exposed and frayed at the ends. Reaching into one of his drawers, he pulled out a skim white package. Laying it on the table, he grabbed a small razor and began to separate the fluffy white powder into neat little lines. Rolling up a piece of paper, he held his nostril and sniffed one line. Two. Feeling daring, he sniffed a third and groaned, letting his head hit the back of the couch. He wanted to get fucked up and forget. 

*** 

    “Baby now, take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars… place your head on my beating heart… Thinkin’ out loud…maybe we found love right where we are…” His voice was low but she heard it clear as day as he stood in line. Mouth dropped open, she gawked at him as he continued to sing, earbuds closing out the world. Oh my God…Smooth and soulful, it sounded like pure silk. The very urgent pull on his hoodie disturbed him and his eyes snapped open. Glancing down at Nova, he pulled out an earbud and knit his eyebrows in confusion. 

    “What?” 

    “You…you sing?” His cheeks grew pink and he clenched his jaw, briefly looking away. 

    “…yeah.”

    “Why the hell haven’t you sang before?!” 

    “I haven’t wanted to.” But that wasn’t the truth. He wanted to. He just didn’t trust anyone enough to sing around them. It was a big enough spectacle in church. The pastor always asked him to sing and for each opportunity they got, his parents used it to glorify themselves. It made him sick to his stomach. She blushed and let go of his hoodie hugging him. 

    “Don’t be scared to sing for me Bon-hwa. I won’t judge you.” Smiling softly, he hugged her back and began to hum the next song that shuffled on his music player. 

*** 

    She was the angel. She was the heavenly being sent from up there in the skies to him. That’s how he knew God loved him. When he gave him her. She’d always been shy since they’d met freshman year. He had hit his first growth spurt and looked like a college student more than a kid right out of middle school. But time seemed to stop for her and she looked like a sixth-grader. It amused the hell out of him and he couldn’t help teasing her about it. His perfect little princess. She was the good to his bad. And he was more times than not more bad than good. He’d sneak cigarettes before class thanks to the upperclassmen and cussed like a sailor. He’d even gotten one of the upperclassmen’s college buddies to buy him some alcohol. 

    He learned early that if people liked your looks, you could get whatever you wanted. Of course, he knew he was attractive. His family pedigree said it all. Every single one of his family members was attractive as hell and they were every bit cocky about it. What’s more, they had the money to back it up. You put good looks and money together and BINGO!

    That’s why he had always been so popular in school. Annoying little shits. Most of them were clingy and the girls even more so. He respected others that were blatantly honest in only wanting status. Those he kept around. He’d been used and he used just the same. 

    *** 

    The one thing they couldn’t understand is the fact that he hadn’t lost his virginity yet. A guy as popular as him. The thought made him laugh. Those whiny bitches weren’t worth it. Guy or not…. he still wanted it to be special. Wanted it to be with someone he really cared about. He’d listen to her laugh and playfully hit him. Or when she needed help getting something because someone had assigned her locker at the top. Spending those long summer afternoons after church, laying in the grass. Wrapping arms around her against him as he serenaded her. When he’d lay in his bed at night, his boxers felt tight and uncomfortable and he knew why. It had to be her. He knew she’d given a vow of purity to save herself for marriage and he knew he’d probably fail before she did. But, as his hands drifted down to slowly touch himself, he promised himself that he’d become a man worthy of it… of her. 

*** 

    Soaked with sweat and pale, he lifted himself up from the floor. He couldn’t remember when he’d got there or how long he’d been there. Long enough that the smell of his unwashed body wafted rank and sour across his nose. Groaning, he wiped sweat, saliva and vomit from his mouth and stumbled into the bathroom. Lifting shaky sweaty hands to the sink, he hovered as his stomach rolled. He gagged and gasped in air before coughing and spitting in the sink. Lifting eyes upward, he emptily looked at himself. Eyes swollen and bloodshot. Skin a sickly pallor. Wet with sweat like he’d been in the shower. And cold as hell, trembling like a leaf. Would she be proud to see you now you piece of shit? His reflection asked him, a sick twisted grin on his face. Smug bastard. Would she want you knowing what I know? 

    “Shut up…” He replied shakily, fingers so wet they started to slip off of the sink. You’re a bitch now. They made you into their little slut and you learned to love it didn’t you? Learned to love the way they stretched out that pitiful asshole of yours. 

    “Shut the fuck up!”  He yelled, anger and heat making his head swim. It doesn’t matter how many girls you fuck, dominate and abuse. You’ll never be the man she needs or wants. You might as well kill yourself, you stinking sweaty waste of life.  Throwing back his fist, he let out an enraged yell as he started to strike the mirror, causing it to fragment into pieces. Numb, he didn’t even feel the blood or the pain and he punched until red and jagged broken edges looked back at him. Until he was gone.