Penname: lajack1 [Contact]

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Member Since: November 20 2011

Membership status: Member

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Reviews by lajack1


Retired
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 115]
Summary:


   Caleb Garrison has been in love with Grey ever since they were children. He even told his parents while a child that someday he would marry her. However, there was one problem...although adopted, she was legally his sister.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Drama, Erotica
Story Status: Active
Pairings: Male/Female
Warnings: Strong Sexual Content
Series: None
Chapters: 13
Completed:Yes
Word count: 29115
Read Count: 35697
Published: October 07 2014
Updated: November 05 2017


Title: Chapter 3: Anger * Shame

I really feel for Caleb.  This chapter was so full of emotion that at the end all I could think was "Wow".  He is suffering alone.  There is no one he can talk to about his feelings so he is suffering in silence.  I find it hard to believe that no one can pick up on the reason for his mood.  I know they have been apart but his parent's can't figure out anything, his best friend, no one.  Unfortunately Jenna just got used but her dream came true to be with Caleb probably at least once.  Happy he wasn't drunk enough to not use a condom, but that can be some nasty business messing around with her best friend who is bound to tell Grey the details or at least hint to her.  Is there anyway to undo an adoption?  Is it final?  As far as I am aware when it comes to legalese, nothing is ever truly black and white and a done deal.  Heck if a woman can come and contest a prenup and win, heck there is a lot of possibilities.  Maybe her parents never gave up their parental rights for the adoption to be legal or something.  I really want Caleb to have a happy ever after.  Waiting anxiously for the next chapter. 



Author's Response:

THANKS FOR YOUR LOVELY COMMENT!

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 08 2014

Title: Chapter 2: Jealousy

Okay, does no one see this?  Is Grey really clueless and only see him as a brother, because sometimes it seems like she is laying it on thick.  I don't recall my kids saying brother or sister every other sentence.  Hmmm.  Can't wait for more.

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 07 2014

Retired
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 844]
Summary:

 Camille Jackson was rejected since birth over her dark skin complexion. She has grown a tough skin and doesn’t get attached to anyone because of how some people have viewed her without even getting to know her. However Camille opens her heart to a baby in need and for the first six months Camille has grown to love the baby as if she were her own. That is until the baby's biological father comes into the picture.

Hiram Whitfield Jr was brought up in one of the most well known Ku Klux Klan families in the south and as the only son he feels the pressure to carry on his family's tradition. After finishing his prison sentence all Hiram wants to do is change his life for the better and be a good father to his child. If that means being disowned by his bigoted family then so be it. Ironically enough Hiram would have never thought that Camille would be the one to be his rock and strength to do so.

 

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Inspirational
Story Status: Completed
Pairings: None
Warnings: Original Characters
Series: None
Chapters: 51
Completed:Yes
Word count: 107887
Read Count: 210138
Published: October 09 2014
Updated: October 25 2015


Title: Chapter 34: Chapter 30

I like the pace of your story.  It is realistic and by proceeding this way, we don't have any dips in action really.  Each chapter has provided us insight into them as people.  I know I feel like everyone is a breathing, living person whether good or bad.  This allows us to feel the characters emotions even more if it was simply fast paced and no background.  This is a great story.

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 14 2015

Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 6

Poor Hiriam,  I see so much trouble coming his way.  Now some new thot is coming into the picture who will try twice as hard to get with him especially because she fet rejected before when he wanted to date a Jew but now a dark black chick.  Oh hell nawl, she is going to throw the biggest bitchfest ever.   We always think about how minorities can't get away from their pasts in trying to make a new start, this is a different view.  He can't seem to get away from Klan to make a new beginning that doesn't include hate.  I felt it was very key how the nephew wanted to take his son to a klan rally.  I always believed hate, prejudices etc is a learned behavior, we are not born with hate in our hearts. 

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 16 2014

Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 9

well it looks like Debbie psycho cake is about to be let loose.  She really think her birthday cake is soo good that he will be blown away.  Hoe, the reason he don't want you is because your vajayjay is floppy.  He knows others have been there, many others.  That is not attractive.  If he went his own way before what makes you think he will succomb to you now.  He's not even talking to his momma because of her racist viewpoints about his child.  She is seriously delusional if she thinks harming his child will bring him closer to her.  If I knew how to do gifs I would so have Kat Williams WTF face right now.  Matter of fact, it would be a billboard size sign above the whole klan meeting.  Looking forward to more Camille and Hiram.  I would hope Hiram finds himself somewhere decent to stay, food, clothing so he can feel more accomplished.  I would expect they would hit at his pride to try to bring him into the fold once again.  Just writing out loud.  Want to see how you develop their relationship in this racially divided town. 

 

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 22 2014

Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 12

Awww, darnit, ish about to hit the fan.  This bish can't accept the word no.  So freakin' self-entitled.  Debbie you do not have the personality or anything that Hiram wants in his woman.  Camille is kind, caring, compassionate, a good mother in Hiram's eyes and when he finds out she is a virgin.  That he would be the only one to touch and feel the vajayjay!!! Bish you REALLY don't have a chance.  I hope Camille and Hiram can stand the heat that is about to be thrown at them.  Camille is so innocent when it comes to men and it is ashamed that her own race has made her feel vulnerable and unbeautiful for being a dark complexioned beauty, when she should have been uplifted for these same traits.  So much more to find out about these two.   Their journey will be interesting. 

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 27 2014

Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 20

Always love a little self exploration.  Nice to know she knows what an orgasm feels like.  Now I can't wait for the moment when their feelings culminate one night.  Anyway, does anyone else remembers the hunting lodge.  I question their safety so far away from town.  It feels like this move is bringing them closer to Hiram's dream.  Hiram needs to teach Camille how to shoot first and ask questions later after they are wounded.  Love the story and progress between Hiram and Camille.  Hope our girl is strong enough to weather the storm still heading their way because I know Debbie has not given up.  Now it is really about pride.

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 20 2014

Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 24

Her family is trifling, sad, low down ridiculous.  I honestly can't blame the kids so much because hell look at the mother and father of them.  I think the best thing for Camille was being put up for adoption because if she would have lived with them, they would have made her miserable every day of her life and she wouldn't be the Camille we love now.  Everybody is in our life for a purpose, we just need to figure out what it is God is trying to teach us.  That isn't always easy but it is a necessity.  The best comeuppance for her family is to realize, no matter how "light" you are, you are still a black person in America.  Now there are many ways that can be shed onto this family from being addressed as the N word or being harrassed but they need a wake up call.  But Camille and Hiram, love it.  Now the question becomes what the hell are those witches up to now in Hiram's family.  Oh, would love if Hiram was awarded custody of his nephew.  People never have a mind of their own these days.

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: December 07 2014

Title: Chapter 29: Secound Act

Sounds like a good second act to me.

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: December 18 2014

Title: Chapter 37: Chapter 33

Actually, I wish they could move now.  Have Hiram take over the deli business and Camille find her a position as a nurse somewhere in NY so they can leave before these punk behinds attempt to mess up their joy.  They have to go thru the courts to get Stevie though during this time, it probably wouldn't be too hard to take him and disappear as no one but her family knows where the Keller's are now.  I keep reading the next chapter thinking soon the confrontation will come and I hope with everything that they make it past it and go on to live a great life. 

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 03 2015

Title: Chapter 40: Chapter 36

Now I am waiting for that confrontation with Ruth and his sisters to realize they have black blood running thru their veins and she slept with a black man and bore him children.  Please let me be a bee buzzing around that.  I hope Abrams wife leaves him to wallow in his soon to be self-pity and anguish because this could have been avoided if she would have just left him alone, instead of Abrams or his wife sitting her down and disciplining this girl they let her run amuck.  How did Abrams not know his girl was a ho?  He had to have heard snippets of conversation.  I hope they are brought up on federal charges of hate crimes and then local charges of assault and battery, intent to kill, burglary and anything else they can get so they can all go away for a long time.  Let the rest of the town grow and prosper so no more Klan mentality is welcomed into the town.

 

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: May 09 2015

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 12]
Summary:



Summary: Modern Love Story
Zane was just hitting his stride in the modeling world. He had good friends and family and he enjoyed being able to support himself. However he didn't have one inkling of how hard it was to maintain happiness and good fortune in a world of sycophants and envious frenemies until that fateful night. Yet on that same night he discovered that there were still good people in the world, one person in particular in whom he may have found paradise. Although both of them have their struggles they will soon discover through passion and turmoil how to make love thrive in a modern world.

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Action-Adventure , Comedy , Erotica, Mystery, Romance, Suspense
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Extreme Language, Original Characters, Sexual Content , Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 6
Completed:No
Word count: 9914
Read Count: 3993
Published: October 14 2014
Updated: October 29 2014


Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Aww, hell nawl.  LOL, he fainted with a hard on.  ROFLMAO.  Whew, that right there brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you for that.  Can't wait for the lessons to start.

 



Author's Response:

Thank you. 

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 17 2014

Retired
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 279]
Summary:

 

Elle always played it safe. She was used to being in control. Every accomplishment in her life was meticulously planned. The only thing she didn't have reign over was her stale love life. When an old flame from a past complicated relationship comes back into her life, she soon finds out everything doesn't go as planned---and that secrets will always come to light.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Comedy , Drama, Erotica, Romance
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Extreme Language, Original Characters, Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 28
Completed:No
Word count: 78339
Read Count: 67624
Published: November 03 2014
Updated: March 09 2015


Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 19

That was sooo dirty Elle, but I like!!  Good chap and I see Randall is going to be a problem.  When big money is involved, everyone likes to pretend they don't see anything happening.  She need to set Randall straight from the beginning.  This is my job, I don't date clients and i definitely don't date anyone who interferes with my money.  Let's move on now....

Great chapter.  Elle is really discovering some sexuality there.



Author's Response:

Elle was a bit deviant this chapter. I thought it was about time for her to show another side of herself, so I’m glad you like. I also like your take on how she should handle the Randall situation, you make an excellent point. Thanks for reviewing lajack1!

CG

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 14 2015

Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 21

Dang I love me some Dean!!!!  I love me some him (in my Toni Braxton voice).  He most definitely got skills and had her forgetting everything.  If that darn alarm didn't ring, he would be ringing dem bells all night long :).  So let's see what pervy randy will be up to at this meeting in the morning.  I still wonder why Elle is so hesistant to claim Dean.  I mean you cooking for the man and you can't say he's mine.  I might be offended if I was him and aware of these conversations.  Once he sexes that up, let's see what tune she singing then.  Otherwise she saw how he could get someone else, who was typically a gold digger but liked the loving and stayed.  Hmmm, I think if he had ole girl hooked with lackluster performance, once he gets with Elle, she will be walking bowlegged, sitting on a donut at the office and needing an epsom salt bath.  Just sayin'



Author's Response:

When I got this review, I was in the dentist office hollering.

Walking bowlegged? Sitting on donuts? Epsom salt baths?

I. Can’t.

I agree. Elle is definitely schleep on Dean’s skills. Hopefully she’ll open up a little more to let him show her what he’s clearly capable of. Thanks so much for reviewing lajack1!

CG

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 23 2015

Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 11

Elle, Elle, Elle, Elle.  What more is there to say.  It has been two freakin' weeks and you still haven't talked to Dean but want to stalk his house like he stole you momma's wedding dress.   What do you expect?  You weren't official in the first place so he can do what he damn well please.  Second, you still haven't apologized for the bitchy behavior you have displayed years ago and even more recently.  C'mon now.  You are a professional, an executive, bring it baby.  It is time to transfer some of them balls you have at work to your personal life.  Call the man, set up a date b/c he is foine and if you don't obviously as you don't understand the whole story, someone one will realize he is a catch.  You betta move it, move it.  You betta move it, move it.  You betta move it, move it.  You betta MOVE YOUR ASS!!  Out here trying to play Nancy Drew.  Shame, shame on you.



Author's Response:

By all means, read her. It’s necessary.  Elle definitely needs to assert her career savviness into her love life before she loses her chance at companionship. Thanks for reading, reviewing and going off on Ms. Foster.

SN: Was that a Dreamgirls reference? Cause if so, I’m here for it.

CG

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: December 07 2014

Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 13

She betta come with her A game because right now, she is batting 0 for real.  I can't believe her sometimes and Tracie, regardless, if she has never had weed before any decisions she make are impaired.  Also she was feeling bad/low after seeing Josie leave Dean's house in provocative clothing so of course she is going to want something to help her feel better.  Elle, get your stuff together.  As they say it is time to either piss or get off the pot.  She is out opportunities if whatever her plan is fails.  Hope she can be mature and simply tell Dean the truth.



Author's Response:

The prior incidents leading up to showing up drunk at Dean’s definitely fueled her actions.  But that’s not making her look any better and she’ll have to make up for that in the near future. As always, thanks for giving it to Elle straight no chaser, reading and reviewing lajack1.

CG

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: December 12 2014

Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 14

Oh Elle, that ache isn't going anywhere honey.  It is there to stay until you husband that man and then it turns into another feeling.  Goodness, she threw me too Dean with the friend zone pass.  Maybe it is best that she gets her stuff together so when she is ready she will go in and knock b*tch out like fight night.

 



Author's Response:

You've been scouting Dean for a minute, Elle better watch her back lol. Yeah, she does have some loose ends in her life that need tying before stepping into something else. As always, thanks for your Migos reference, reading and reviewing lajack1.

CG

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: December 18 2014

Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 15

Hmmm.  So Dean I would say you were getting some stress relief but how you described that last encounter with Katie, it sounds like you would've done better working out then jacking off.  I wonder what the text said so I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter plus what has Elle really been doing.  Is she trying to fix herself for a relationship with Dean or is her head still in the sand.  I think Katie might be a catalyst but I don't know in which direction Elle would go.  She is your girlfriend that you love, but look her like 😒😔😞😩.  Again I am curious to how you are going mature Elle in the relationship department.  I like Dean's character.  He is the strong silent type sometimes but also the sweet, shy guy.  I just think Elle throws him completely off balance and don't worry Dean I am on the same boat as you.  



Author's Response:

So you caught the dissatisfaction? Yeah, he might've been better off with some lotion and imagination in that department. More details on the texts & Elle’s emotional state will be revealed next chapter.  And Katie is strictly a stress relief---for now *manically laughs*. Yeah, I think Dean’s character is what has everybody ready to kick some sense into Elle. There’s just something about him. Thanks for reading and reviewing lajack1.

CG

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: December 20 2014

Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 16

This girl.  Well she is about to see he is moving on or at least what it appears to be and will be all in her feelings despite being the one to push him away.  She still can't call and leave a voicemail at least.  The text at this time is so impersonal.  *sigh*  about to be an entertaining event.



Author's Response:

Oh, it’ll be interesting for sure. Thanks for reading and reviewing lajack1.

CG

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: December 24 2014

Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 24

Awww, Elle letting her feelings come out now.  I am so happy.  Now all we need is for a**face to leave her the heck alone.  I would tell that secretary he is to always be announced and waiting for me in the conference room with plenty of camera's and hell I'll have the secretary in there too to take notes on the meeting , in case he forgets anything and she can send him a write-up later.  Bish please, this is a workplace, not a club or something.  I would also prep the resume and think about starting my own business, taking their clients with me. 

 



Author's Response:

Apparently, A**face would get everybody’s hands judging by a few of these reviews. Great points about how to handle the situation. Let’s hope Elle implements further action in keeping him in check. Thanks for reviewing lajack1!

CG

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 08 2015

Title: Chapter 28: Chapter 27

Is it just me or do I see a swing somewhere in their future.  IJS they have obviously found a position that takes them past the mortal plane.  I love Dean's character because like many men, he is versatile and has many different sides.  Love how he is quietly confident.  Then in the bedroom, takes control.  Elle betta hold on tight to him in more ways than one and keep getting the lady lovebug stroked right. 

Now RP needs to RIP b/c he just like ignorant females who doesn't understand that no means no.  No doesn't mean for you to try harder especially when you are a douche.  Go back to them gold digging tricks you have been around and leave Elle alone.  Part of me thinks RP just wants to have sex with her 1) because she isn't interested in him at all 2) because she is with Dean and I feel there is some competition going on with him 3) and of course I think he finds her attractive or "exotic" as they say.  He wants to know what she has that has made Dean pant after her.  Classic case of my penis is larger than yours BS.

Keep them coming and happy you are doing better now.

 

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed
Date: March 10 2015

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 140]
Summary:

Ezekiel's parents took extreme measures to keep him hidden from his controling racist grandfather.  Ezekiel was adopted and raised by Rosa a black woman and his life is now about to take a drastic change.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Romance
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1
Completed:No
Word count: 11832
Read Count: 39923
Published: November 06 2014
Updated: June 17 2015


Title: Ezekiel Black

Loved the conversation with the good reverend.  Rosa must also stop name calling because only God can judge when we are true Christians but I know that little devil on your shoulder is ready to hog tie Grandpa and put him in a tub of Holy Water while performing an exorcism.  I am really waiting to see how you endear Grandpa to us and loved how LapDonna wasn't anyone's fool in this by maneuvering Mrs Greene to be present.  Just wish she wasn't in a rush for Zeke to have sex with her as a way to validate her worth to him and her own ideas of attractiveness.  Him wanting to wait before sex shows just how much he loves you than just freakin' you down.  She need to pray.

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 17 2014

Title: Ezekiel Black

I am a little disappointed in Zeke in this chapter.  He wasn't receiving good information from his friend or Willoughby.  I hope he can stay strong and honestly he needs to set boundaries on where he is willing to go with Willoughby.    I hope LaDonna and Rosa are not hurt by these two. Zeke is a man now and he wanted to step into a man's territory in dealing with his granddad so he has to either put his will in motion or let his grandfather corrupt him and everything good in his life. Can't say sorry and feel remorse when LaDonna is married with kids to another man or Rosa no longer welcomes his visits like she used to.  Hope Zeke can regain his center before heading back to the Lion's den. He needs these weekends to regroup and be normal. Great story. Trials and Tribulations.



Author's Response:

A lot of times our closest friends don't give good information.  Zeke has been celebate for a reason.  That reason slipped from his mind because of all the unexpected stimulation that Willoughby threw at him.  He will regroup.  One stumble is not a fall and Zeke is stronger than that.  Willoughby may have won a small battle, but not the war. 
Stay tuned!

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 14 2014

Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1-2

So he still hasn't learned his lesson.  You just drove your son away and practically killed him with your bullshit and now you are about to do it again.  He knew Zeke knows all about him but Ladonna doesn't.  LaDonna, you better tell Zeke so he can handle this.  Whatever plans you have you betta keep and forget this mofo.  Another winner here Brenda1257.  This man got my BP rising.  I'm gonna have to look at pictures of Dwayne Johnson to bring it down.

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 07 2014

Title: Ezekiel Black


I may be in the minority here but I loved Grandpa in this chapter.  He was so quintessentially flustered and bewildered it was too funny.  I was ROFLMAO at him. When he kept asking Frank question after question during the service, whew tears in my eyes by the end. He has ran into something he truly doesn't understand and therefore can't manipulate it.



Author's Response:

LOL  I love grandpa too.  He doesn't have a clue beyond his own little world.  More is coming!

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 13 2014

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.