That Nathaniel Hawthorne quote is certainly on point. Your story is both interesting and easy to read so you must be doing some "damn hard writing". Once I read the second paragraph, I knew I was hooked. You went to work right away building suspense and that kept me on the edge of my seat.
I also noticed that you did a great job of revealing details about Wren's physical description in a way that wasn't cliche. I've read many stories where the character checks themselves out in the mirror and then you get the info dump of height, weight, skin tone etc. There's nothing wrong with cliche, but it was certainly refreshing to see how you chose to skillfully weave that info into the story by having the character acknowledge the physical similarities she shares with the other women.
I'm looking forward to reading more. (o:
Author's Response:
Thank you NL...glad you're enjoying it :)
Reviewer: Neighbor Lady Signed [Report This]Date: November 12 2011 05:57 am
Off gate we learn this fool is crazy! He’s calculating, methodical, sadistic and worst of all, he’s intelligent and patient…a very dangerous combination. Now that I think about it, it reminds me of Kiss the Girls or Criminal Minds…hell…they may need a B.A.U. team to catch this killer!
Wren was kind to him, pleasant even, yet she has an understated strength that defines her character. Her defiance to halt his advances shows that she’s a fighter…something that may or may not help in the long run but it lends another glimpse into who this really woman is, and possibly why this fool targeted her.
Avery’s phone call summoning Maddie to his home immediately was chilling. At that point your know something’s terribly wrong. Oh man…I feel for her friends and loved ones.
The suspense is spot-on Scribe! Great job!
Author's Response:
Thanks JVME :)
Reviewer: JV4ME Signed
[Report This]Date: November 11 2011 11:35 pm
I am very happy to see that your are back. Please don't go away again. I missed this story and your wirting.
Happy writing.
Author's Response:
Thanks Thundakat. I promise not to run anymore.
Reviewer: Thundakat Signed [Report This]Date: November 11 2011 07:15 pm
It’s quite eerie that Wren compared herself to the missing women; her absent thought is the catalyst to the suspenseful ending. It’s like the calm on the ocean’s surface while the rolling wave beneath roars toward shore. The effect was achieved successfully in such a short chapter; I admire that kind of skill in a writer. Great job!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much for the compliment JV.
Reviewer: JV4ME Signed [Report This]Date: November 11 2011 04:29 am
I am so glad that this story is back. i missed it the first time around and I'm thrilled that I have a second chance to read it.
You have got me hooked already. Keep up the good work, please update soon.
Author's Response:
More updates coming today and through the weekend. Thanks for reading.
Reviewer: SuperStar2577 Anonymous [Report This]Date: November 11 2011 01:47 am
Brillant
Author's Response:
Thank you :)
Reviewer: Bain Anonymous [Report This]Date: November 10 2011 05:22 am
I should be writing my thesis. But I saw that you had put this story back up and had to read it. I wasn't disappointed. A little jealous maybe. But never disappointed because I love your writing. Can't wait to read more.
Author's Response:
Ms. Lady I'm going to need you to get back on that thesis. And from where I sit, there is no need to be jealous. There's a lot of talent in those fingers pounding on the keyboard.
Reviewer: BilliMonroe Anonymous [Report This]Date: November 10 2011 03:46 am
This is so good, when are they going to find her? I hope that they find her before Ryan rapes her.
Author's Response:
Questions will be answered soon...promise
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: November 10 2011 03:31 am
Good story. Thanks
Author's Response:
Thank you :)
Reviewer: Divsionred Signed [Report This]Date: November 10 2011 03:00 am
Thanks for the update.
Author's Response:
You're welcome
Reviewer: Divsionred Signed [Report This]Date: November 10 2011 02:59 am
Didn't you have this story up before? Thanks
Author's Response:
Yes it was incomplete and up prior to my departure from the Chamber. I'm giving it a try again.
Reviewer: Divsionred Signed [Report This]Date: November 10 2011 02:59 am
SCRIBE! I'm so freaking happy for you!!! I just got home from work and I haven't even read the story yet but I'm just THRILLED that you're finding your way back. By re-entering the posting arena...it just shows your strength as a writer and as a person...not many would have found the courage to get back into the game of putting yourself out there and saying, 'here I am world and I stand proud'!
This story has potential in its genre...not everything is roses - fiction or otherwise so i'm interested as to how far the rabbit hole goes and find out what the hell is dude's problem! Does he have mommy/daddy issues or is he just plain SICK?! But more importantly, I want to see how Wren survives her ordeal, how she copes with reality or if she's in denial or, if she survives at all. See...! So many ways to spin this tale!
Author's Response:
Thank you JVME. I really appreciate you taking the time to review and the kind words you sent me while I was gone. Let's just say this will be a tricky road full of rocks. This one is definitely not fluff and roses. Stay tuned. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
Reviewer: JV4ME Signed [Report This]Date: November 10 2011 02:27 am
Keep bringing it Chica!! You know that you rock!! So glad that you are coming back...slowly but surely. So bring the next update!! Thanks for sharing!
Author's Response:
Trying my best Ms. Lady...trying my best
Reviewer: Elizablu Signed [Report This]Date: November 09 2011 09:30 pm
You rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response:
Thanks Bain :)
Reviewer: Bain Anonymous [Report This]Date: November 09 2011 09:23 pm