Interesting. I gather that she sold her virginity for medical treatment for her brother. Will the mystery man help her brother? Will he be caught in his own snare and become attached to this girl who sold herself for the love of her brother? It'll be interesting to see where you take this.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the interest and as for the rest, you have to read to find out!!! And review Reviewer: Brenda1257 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 03 2013 12:03 pm
This is a great start. Would love to read more.
Author's Response:
You got it dude ;)
Reviewer: Karmal Signed [Report This]Date: September 03 2013 09:28 am
It would be disappointing if this were a one shot because it was a very good start! Plus There would be so many question left unanswered.
Why is Elyshia in this predicament? I understand that the talk, dark & handsome stranger is paying her brother's medical bills, but why? Why can she pay for her brother's medical bills herself? What was the proposition? One night together or longer? How does she know him?
You say she's young but how young is she? (She can't be that young as he offered her a drink.)
What's does she look like? Where is she from? Is she a country girl or a city chick?
More please!
Author's Response: Thanks you the review and the interest...it means a lot since this is my first stroy in valent chamber. I will try and answer all your question as I move along, chapter by chapter :) Reviewer: londongirl Signed [Report This]
Date: September 03 2013 09:23 am
Good start...I would love to read more.
Author's Response:
As you wish :)
Reviewer: zoe zoey Signed [Report This]Date: September 03 2013 09:13 am
I like it, I think it has a solid start. The only thing I would suggest is to have someone proofread it for you so they can point out and fix any tiny issues your story may have. But I really like the basis for this story!
Author's Response: Thanks, I am good at ideas...I just hope I am good at implimenting the story !!!! Reviewer: Luna Anonymous [Report This]
Date: September 03 2013 08:46 am
I think this is a multichapter story. I like it.
Reviewer: Storyteller247 Signed [Report This]Date: September 03 2013 08:36 am
I like this. Very good start! Can't wait to see what you have next! Please continue!
Author's Response: thanks, I hope you like where I go !!! Reviewer: Treale Signed
[Report This]Date: September 03 2013 08:17 am