Cant wait to read more and see how the story turns out.
Author's Response: thanks for the reviews!! Reviewer: amlaamar Anonymous [Report This]
Date: October 02 2013 06:26 pm
great story, but could you write it in paragraphs and not to mention spaces. instead of just one long ass page,
Reviewer: lucky Signed [Report This]Date: October 01 2013 05:24 am
Very interesting story. I can't wait to read more. And your sex scene was okay good job.
Thank you for sharing.
Author's Response: Thanks, I really was worried about that sex scene. Reviewer: Thundakat Signed [Report This]
Date: September 10 2013 06:24 pm
Interesting update! Can't wait to see what happens next!
Reviewer: baha_malo Signed [Report This]Date: September 10 2013 02:53 am
Very good. Loving the plot. Its got me hooked. Cant wait to read more.
Clever way of writing a sex scene too. Sometimes snippets of it is just as hot and sometimes MORE EROTIC than a fully written sex scene. The reader's imagination comes into play and that can be very very effective.
Author's Response: thanks, I really was worried about this sex scene, and so I am glad you liked it :) Reviewer: amlaamar Anonymous [Report This]
Date: September 09 2013 08:36 am
I thought this chapter showed promise. It's a little rough around the edges, and I don't just mean the dialogue. It's missing something, but I can't quite put my finger on what.
It could have also used a bit more sensory details, taste, smell, touch, etc.
I'm curious about what happens next, so I hope you've plotted this out well because there are some questions that needed answered, not right away but at some point.
Author's Response: I understand what you mean, even I felt that way but I couldn't decide why it didn't resonate the way I wanted...and thanks for the advice I will try my best to incoporate your idea about more sensory details. Please keep reviewing and critiquing, I need it :D Reviewer: Cholyn Signed [Report This]
Date: September 09 2013 07:48 am
Great job. please update soon
Reviewer: Laurie Anonymous [Report This]Date: September 09 2013 03:16 am