I am really enoying this story the realness is refreshing and your rants crack me up. So I wanted to commend you on the buildup of the courting of the characters since people usually rush this along. I also love that they aren't perfect ahhhhhhh so refreshing. I did want to say that in the first 2 chapters I noticed some moments when Ryan was acting like a woman. I know inside every man is a women, but some instances seem to throw me off. For example when he says that he wants to scream its an uncommon term for guys. I hate to wind the wheels of the gender roles car, but I just wanted to add a teeny tiny critique. I really like how Camilles character is coming out in layers she is so fun!Reviewer: Fatal Mars Signed [Report This]
Date: November 14 2014 06:20 am
Love the update...the big kahuna is sexy...I agree with you about the mike brown movement as other movements that has taken place as of late..people need to realize that it will not get better with so much separation and racism still goin ong on...wake up...who talks about babies..that's crazy too me..Reviewer: nightseer Signed [Report This]
Date: August 30 2014 04:56 am
Girl I am with you on the 5 things thats have annoyed you this week. I had a white man calmly explained to me that I needed to stop getting emotional and wait for an official investigation into the death of Mike Brown before coming to any conclusions. Because it's "complicated". And I will never understand the worlds fascination with Blue's hair.Anyways loved the update and I just adore Jason Momoa.Reviewer: kiavicmcp Signed [Report This]
Date: August 28 2014 08:47 pm
I'm sooo happy you updated! I loved it! Can't wait for the next one!Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: August 28 2014 04:59 pm
So glad you updated, I was beginning to worry. It's been a month for Camille and Ryan, I think he needs to make his feelings known. The friendship foundation layed. I'm ready for some action!! Ali is hardcore!! Poor Janice-NOT!!! Ha!! That's what she gets for cheating.Reviewer: Khamalani Signed [Report This]
Date: August 28 2014 02:10 pm
I just absolutely love this story. I think you did a great job on the update. And your 5 things that annoy you had putting my hands up and saying YASSS, lol. Can't wait for the next update.
Thank you! I'm so happy you love it. It's always reassuring to hear especiially when I'm not confident about a chapter.
Haha im so glad so many people love the 5 things! I feel like every author should do it just because it makes the reading more personal.Reviewer: liltay550 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 28 2014 11:21 am
I Loved the interaction between Ryan and Camille, it is adorable. I like that they have gotten to know each other and am looking forward to the date. The Janice and Ali's part was just "Eh" for me, I guess because I don't remember them from the previous chapters so there's no established emotional attachment to them.
#1. I find that people think because racism doesn't affect them directly or they are not racist themselves, it doesn't exist.
#5. Only frozen crawfish :-( but there are still some kick ass dishes that can be made from that.
Thank you for the review! I always sit and stare at my phone until I get that email like "soooo did they like it!!"
I love Ryan and Camille's interaction as well, they're a lot a like and it makes them easy to write. This was actually Ali and Janice's interaction, we are sort of starting from the end with these too. I really wanted them to be "ending" while Camille and Ryan are beginning so that we can see both sides of relationships.
1. Couldn't have said it better myself
2. Frozen crawfish is tasty, but there's something about making you fingernails bleed with spiciness that makes boiled crawfish amazing bReviewer: shadow Signed [Report This]
Date: August 28 2014 11:18 am
Hey, I just wanted to tell you, I usually don't bother to sign in and favorite/review stories anymore, I'll just remember the names of stories and comeback to them later. But you, you're fabulous, I feel like your personality shines through your stories, so I logged in to let you know how awesome I think you are. I'll be looking out for more chapters and stories from you!
-DSReviewer: Demain Soir Signed [Report This]
Date: August 20 2014 11:05 am
Hey Girl! As u talk about big girls and flat stomachs made me become a kindred spirit because I've been tryin to loose weight to become healthier and look a little better among other things. I just wanted to let you know that if your interested in talking about it you could email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. By the way I'm loving this read, although I was they could be just a tad bit longer and more often if u can.
KimReviewer: kimyso Signed [Report This]
Date: August 17 2014 11:57 pm
Girl, you're hilarious, I was taken with this story from the first words.
But the best part is your end notes.
About the story now:
I love the way Ryan is with Camille, his inner side doesn't match his outside at all. But, hey, he made his first move, now we'll just wait for the next
Reviewer: Nua Signed [Report This]
Date: August 16 2014 11:58 pm
I hope the next time he sees and talks to her he admits that he owns the gym. She will find out and that will be a problem, he can say he normally doesn't say or something but because of her distrust that will be a problem. Great updateReviewer: lilsunseeker Signed [Report This]
Date: August 15 2014 07:00 am
Bread is SERIOUSLY delicious, it's a definite problem-food and avocado is the absolute worst. I'd eat a grapefruit first, and those kill me. Anyway.
Camille and Ryan, I like them and I'm liking their story quite a bit. They are two mature characters, both interesting and flawed enough to keep me curious. I'd like to delve deeper into Ryan's issues with his love for thick women as well as going beneath Camille's bravado to the woman who is, in my opinion, more sensitive about her weight than even she knows. This isn't a bad thing, pseudo-confidence versus actual confidence is a thing worth examining! I'm loving it.
If I had one bone to pick (which I always do, lol), it would be that Camille and Ryan's POVs mirror one another too closely. Their thoughts hit on the same points, especially in the gym scene where Camille is confronted by the would-be-Casanova. That comes with one author writing multiple POVs, I know the issue well, so all I'd say is watch it. I'd like to see them differ a little and see how those differences of opinion affect the scene and their friendship/relationship as a whole.
Oh, and this: I hope Ryan's lie (about his business) and his fib (about his name) don't cause Camille to have the sterotypical "You told me one tiny lie, I can never trust you again" reaction because that would ruin her for me. Finding out a wonderful person has a better position at a stable job usually doesn't drive someone AWAY from them despite what romance novels/movies would have us believe, lol.
This review is now EXTRA long. Oops. ^_^
Thank you for such a great review! I was writing the new chapter and we have similar thoughts. It was seeming a bit one dimensional with their thoughts an I figured it was because I was forcing them to be in the same place experiencing the same events. I plan to give them more depth and outside influences soon though. Thanks for letting me know I wasn't overthinking!Reviewer: Die A Mouse Death Signed [Report This]
Date: August 14 2014 08:25 pm