When we told everyone that we were expecting, Shopzilla's remark was the one that I remember vividly--"I'm going to be a hot grandma, I'm going to be a hot grandma! Whoo-hoo!". Yeah, she's something, but I wouldn't change her--except during the ATS (After Thanksgiving Sales). You think she showcased her lunacy during our wedding? When the ATS come around, look out. She may hurt someone for a deal--now you see why I call her Shopzilla. But, anyway...

It was now a New Year. I was still getting used to this pregnancy thing, because Kaiya's four months and she just started showing. It's really cute. It sticks out just a little bit and I rub, kiss and talk to her belly everyday. Shopzilla started calling Kaiya, "The Tummy" and it stuck. She said the reason why she started calling her "The Tummy", was because she was all stomach--she hadn't gained any weight anywhere else. I didn't want to burst my mother's bubble and tell her that she had gained weight somewhere else, but Kaiya's boobs were getting bigger--something that I was very excited about--but my mom didn't need to know that...TMI.

I took damn good care of her, as usual...maybe I went a little overboard and as you read, you'll see. I made sure she got enough rest, exercise, took her prenatal vitamins, ate right, the whole shebang. I accompanied her to every OB/GYN appointment, who was a good friend of mine, named Dr. Corinne Natori. We really wanted to know what the baby's sex was, but the little critter wouldn't allow us to see. Everytime we tried to find out, the baby's legs were crossed at the ankles, or the baby's ass was to the screen, giving us a full moon. This kid wasn't even here yet, and it was already giving us attitude.

Now, I know that I'm a doctor and I know all about pregnant women. They are not infidels, and they can do pretty much the same things they did before they were pregnant, until the last month or so. However, I haven't grasped that concept. I won't let Kaiya do anything. She can't pick up a box of Kleenex around me. Anytime she moves to do something, I jump to do it. I'm just trying to make sure that she stays safe. I don't want my babies to get hurt, that's all. Well, my overprotectiveness has really ticked my wife off, to say the least. How do I know?--because she's been cursing me out on a daily basis.

It was a Saturday morning, and I had the entire blessed day off. I was walking down the stairs after returning a few calls to the hospital, when I found my wife, clad with a red and white handkerchief on her head, a white wifebeater over her cute little belly and gray capri jogging pants, rearranging the dinnerware in the cabinets. What the hell, I thought as I ran quickly into the kitchen. Kaiya smiled at me and I almost forgot why I ran so quickly into the kitchen. She was so beautiful. She was really glowing. Pregnancy agreed with her. I am one lucky son-of-a-bitch, I thought.

"Hey sweetie. You finished making your calls?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm finished. I'm just waiting on a fax," I replied as I watched her stretching a little to place the saucers back into the lower cabinets. I damn near bit my fingers off, because I didn't want her to hurt herself.

"Oh, I'm going to make some smothered chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes, and mustard greens for dinner and I brought one of those double chocolate cakes from the bakery that you love for dessert. I really had a craving for mustard greens and smothered chicken. Does that sound good to you?" Kaiya asked still reaching and working in the cabinets. By this time, my nerves were shot to hell.

"That sounds good, Kai. You know I don't care what you cook, because everything you cook is good. If you don't feel like cooking, we could go out to eat," I replied. I didn't want her cooking, but she loved to cook. Besides, I still remember the way she shouted at me behind that argument, so I wasn't going there again.

"I really don't feel like eating out today. I just want my comfort foods, okay," she replied with finality.

"Whatever you say," I stated. She bent down to put something in the back of the lower cabinets and I couldn't take it anymore. I almost lost it. I pulled her gently to me by the waist.

"What in the world are you doing, woman?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm rearranging the cabinets---just trying to make things easier," Kaiya replied with a smile, trying to continue what she was doing, but I pulled her back to me.

"Why didn't you just wait and ask me to do it?" I asked.

"Because I already started doing it," Kaiya said. I sighed.

"Kaiya, you're pregnant. You have to be careful. Look, I'll finish doing this," I replied.

"I know that I'm pregnant. The constant peeing and the basketball belly are dead give-a-ways. Why don't you help me? it'll be quicker if we do it together," Kaiya said. I crossed my arms and looked down at her, my hazel eyes trained on her brown.

"Kaiya, let me do it," I stated in a firm voice. Kaiya put her hand on her right hip and leaned on it.

"I said, YOU...CAN... HELP...ME," she said in a firm voice, narrowing her eyes at me.

"I don't want you lifting and stretching...baby, you have to be careful," I replied.

"You don't want, huh? Well, got damn Sebastian...why don't you just wrap me in bubble wrap before you go to work and place me in the bed with everything that I need for the day. That way, you wouldn't have to worry about me moving at all," Kaiya stated smartly.

I cocked my head to the side. Damn, that was a good idea. I was actually considering it. Kaiya popped me in the head. On top of the cursing, she's become violent.

"It was a joke, you stupid shit. I'm pregnant, not handicapped. I know how to take care of myself. I know how to be careful," Kaiya replied, staring up into my eyes with an angry look on her face.

"I know you can take care of yourself, but you have to take it easy," I replied.

"I know that Sebastian, but quite frankly...you are working on my last nerve," she replied.

"I am?" I asked.

"Hell yes!" she yelled.

"I just want you and the baby to be safe," I replied reaching over to grab her waist as I rubbed her belly. She placed her hands on my chest.

"I know that and I think it's sweet, but you have got to stop it. You are driving me fucking crazy. Please stop, or I may end up stabbing you in the middle of the night or something...and, I don't want to kill you, baby. I like you," she replied as she continued to put the dishes away. I took a few steps away from her. Those hormones were making her psycho.

"I really don't want you to kill me," I said. She turned and looked at me seriously.

"Then stop it with the constant hovering. If you don't, I'm going to tell your mother on you," Kaiya stated with firmness. I didn't want to deal with Shopzilla, not about this. She would probably hurt me.

"Okay, I'll stop sweetness. Come on, let me help you with this," I replied. You know that I didn't stop, right? I only told Kaiya that to end the argument.
*********************************************************

A month later, I only became worse. I was more protective than usual because she was getting bigger. I was on my way home from the hospital one evening, thinking about the argument we had earlier that morning. I was being overprotective as usual. Kaiya was still pissed off and I wanted to make up with her. I decided to call her and ask her to lunch. An indication of her still pissy mood was her telling me to take a flying fuck out of the nearest window and to leave her the hell alone. Hormones...they are nothing to fool with.

A few hours later, I was caught by surprise when I checked my voice mail and she asked me to call her back. She gave me the sweetest apology and I smiled. She could get anything out of me now, and she knew it. Kaiya proceeded to ask me to pick up a dozen glazed donuts, a large chocolate shake, two orders of buffalo wings and a large order of curly fries. This was all for her.

Like most pregnant women, she had weird cravings. One day, I caught her watching TV in the den with a huge bowl of flour, eating it with a spoon, like it was ice cream or something. She ate the flour often...gross. She ate cereal with chocolate syrup only, no milk. One week, Kaiya made me buy fresh pineapples and caramel syrup. The next week, she had to have fried chicken, chocolate croissants and chocolate sundaes. It never stopped.

Oh, those weren't her only cravings. Kaiya and I already humped like rabbits, but her sex drive was out of control. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact...I love it...that she wants me in that way. I can't believe I'm saying this, but she's wearing me out! The funny thing is, the sex is incredible! It was always great, but those hormones must be bringing out the nympho in my wife. We do it twice, three times a day. When I'm off, forget about it. She's insatiable, but it keeps her from killing me, so I let her wear me out. Besides, those 6 weeks after the baby is born is going to be torture for me, so I'd better take advantage of my wife, as she states, while she's in "Ho-stasis". And I thought I was a freak.

When I arrived home later that evening, the tummy opened the door and gave me a huge kiss. I kissed her back, then I leaned down, lifted up her shirt, and kissed her belly.

"Hey little one in there. You've been good for your pretty momma, huh?" I asked as I kissed her belly again. I went back outside and retrieved the food from the car.

"Thank you, baby. You are so good to me," she grinned as I placed the food on the counter.

"I know," I replied with a smile, capturing her lips with mine again. I walked upstairs to take a shower and after I finished showering, the doorbell rang. I heard the tummy speaking to someone. I came downstairs dressed in a gray sleeveless t-shirt and a pair of baggy black basketball shorts. I saw Shopzilla smiling at me. I walked over to her and hugged her. The next thing I knew, Kaiya was smiling, saying she had to finish folding laundry upstairs. Kaiya had an empty laundry basket in her arms and she was carrying it up the stairs. I was going to run and grab it out of her hand, but Shopzilla grabbed me and steered me toward the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Shopzilla asked.

"To get that basket out of Kaiya's hands. She shouldn't be carrying stuff like that, walking up the stairs," I said.

"It's empty, darling. She'll be fine. Come and sit with me," said Shopzilla. I sat down in the kitchen, next to Shopzilla.

"Do you want something to eat or drink, mom?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine. How are you sweetheart?" my mother asked.

"I'm fine. I had a busy day today--four surgeries, all successful, but enough about me. What brings you by?" I asked.

"Oh, I wanted to bring the tummy some of the paint swatches for the nursery at our house and I wanted to talk with you," Shopzilla replied, her blue eyes catching my hazel ones. The way she looked at me, I knew I was in trouble--for something. Oh shit--I've been set up. The tummy called in reinforcements. Sneaky ass woman.

"What did you want to talk about, ma?" I asked, eating a huge turkey sandwich, with Doritos and apple juice.

"The tummy informed me that you've been riding the crap out of her," Shopzilla said. I gave her a devilish grin.

"You know what I mean, you dirty little shit. She says that she can't pick up a toothpick without you jumping up and taking it from her," Shopzilla stated, as she took one of my chips. I stopped chewing and began to speak.

"I think she's overreacting," I said, sipping my juice.

"Oh really, because that's not what I just saw?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's it...she's overreacting," I replied.

"Okay--why don't you want her to drive? She's five months pregnant. She can still drive," my mother replied. I gave her a heart stopping grin.

"I wanted her to take it easy. That way, all she has to do is sit back and relax," I stated.

"Uh huh--is that why you paid Mr. Carl extra money to watch Kaiya wherever he drove her?" Shopzilla asked, narrowing her eyes at me. Shit. How did she know about that? Shopzilla probably interrogated poor Mr. Carl until he began to speak.

"Maybe..," I replied as my mother stared me down, shaking her head.

"Sebastian, how could you?" my mother asked.

"I know it sounds bad, but it's not about trust. I trust her. I just want her to be safe. I don't want anything to happen to her or the baby. They're my life, ma," I stated looking into her blue eyes. My mother reached over, took my left hand in her right hand and smiled at me.

"Sebastian, honey...I understand that you want Kaiya to be protected and safe, but sweetheart, you are driving that girl insane."

"But, you don't understand, ma. She wants to run around and do stuff that a pregnant woman shouldn't be doing," I replied.

"According to you. She's still the same person, Sebastian. Now, I'll admit, her doctor will probably tell her to slow down in her last couple of months or so, but darling....you really need to stop cracking the whip. You are not helping her. You are actually adding stress," Shopzilla stated.

"I don't think me wanting my wife to relax and not do anything is adding stress," I said biting into my sandwich.

"You may not think so, but yes you are. You're treating the tummy like she's some delicate flower and we both know that she's anything but," my mother replied.

"I know that ma, but if anything happened to her or the baby, and I could have prevented it...I don't know what I would do. I don't know what I would do without her. Don't you remember that whole Bianca situation?" I asked in a guilt laden voice. Shopzilla shook her head knowingly.

"Oh, so that's it. You still blame yourself for that Bianca debacle," my mother answered.

"Ma, if I would have broken it off with her sooner, or put her out the day Kaiya came by, none of it would have happened. Kaiya wouldn't have gotten hurt and she wouldn't have been exposed to that crazy bitch," I replied, taking a swig of juice. My mother popped me in my head. I rubbed the spot where she hit me.

"Watch your mouth," Shopzilla replied.

"Ow. Sorry ma," I said. Shopzilla looked into my eyes.

"It's not your fault, baby. That girl was crazy. Even if she wouldn't have met Kaiya, she probably would have found out who she was. That nut was on a mission. There isn't anything worse than a fool with a dream, darling and that's what Bianca was--a crazy fool. You did what you could do to protect Kaiya from her. It's over, sweetheart. But, you have got to stop handling Kaiya with kid gloves and treat her as you always have. She's independent and strong, Sebastian and when you try to make a woman like that dependent and weak, the outcome is never good," Shopzilla replied. I began to think about everything that my mother was saying and she had a good point. I was acting a little weird, even for me. I was adding stress with all my hovering. Shit. Shopzilla began to speak again.

"Now, baby boy...you know that I love you, right?" Shopzilla asked with a smile. I smiled back.

"Yes, ma, I know that," I replied. Then Shopzilla became serious. Her eyes narrowed on me again. I knew that look. I've seen that look plenty of times. Oh, oh, here it comes.

"Sebastian Colin Langley, this is my first grandchild--my first grandbaby. I have been hoping for this ever since Randall got married, ever since you told me you were going to ask the tummy to marry you. Do you know how significant this is? This is huge. I am overjowed...estatically happy. This is a special time, sweetheart. Your callous shithead of a father is just as happy as I am, if you can believe that. I have renovated the room upstairs to ours...Randall's old room...into a nursery, for my grandbaby, because I plan to kidnap that baby as much as possible. Sebastian, listen to me carefully. I want my grandchild to arrive into this world safe, healthy and happy. The last thing I need is the tummy going in too early or going to prison...yes, she told me she threatened to kill you...because of your obsessive overprotectiveness. If the tummy wants to do a got damn Chorus Line in the middle of the living room, you'd better let her. I know that you are a doctor, but you are not Kaiya's doctor. Kaiya's doctor will tell her what she can and cannot do. Leave her alone, Sebastian. I know she's hard to read these days, with the mood swings and the appetite changes. But sweetheart, she's dealing with body changes and emotions that you will never comprehend, and that in itself, is difficult enough. She's having a baby...she's not crippled. I'm telling you to back off, or you are going to have to deal with me and I know you don't want to deal with me, right son?" My mother asked. She actually had me scared at this point, so I agreed.

"Okay, I'll back off, but I'm not going to like it," I muttered.

"I don't give a damn if you like it or not. If that girl comes crying to me concerning you and your crazy ass hovering again, I'll help her bury the body. You get my drift?" My mother asked.

"Yes maam," I replied, reluctantly. Shopzilla smiled and patted my hand. This woman should be a mob enforcer--she's that scary.

"I'm glad that we had this little chat. Walk me to the door," she replied as she continued to smile at me. I smiled back at her and she pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back.

"It's going to be fine, darling. Stop worrying, Sebastian. I love you. Tell the tummy I'll call her tomorrow," Shopzilla stated. I smiled at her.

"Will do. Love you too, ma," I replied. Shopzilla walked out of the door to her SUV and I watched her drive off. I closed the door and walked upstairs. Kaiya was sitting in the bed, folding clothes and watching Lifetime Movie Network, so I know I didn't want to be in there too long. I sat behind her on the bed and placed my legs on the outside of hers. I put my chin on her shoulder and rubbed her belly. She always smiled when I rubbed her belly. The baby kicked. It was a wonderful thing to feel...I was in awe. I smiled.

"Hey, I felt that. Somebody has some strong legs," I said.

"Yeah. Those little legs put a hurting on me at 3:00am this morning. Trust me, I know how strong they are. Is your mom gone?" Kaiya asked, still folding clothes and watching TV. She finished the last two items and placed them in the basket in the chair.

"Yes, she's gone. Am I that bad, baby?" I asked as I placed open mouthed kisses on the back of her silky brown neck.

"Yes, you are...hmmm...I like that," she whispered.

"I know. Kai, this is supposed to be a happy time. I didn't know I was hindering it for you," I replied.

"Sebastian, I tried to tell you that you were going overboard. You have been absolutely annoying. I had to call her. I warned you. You wouldn't listen to me," Kaiya said. I stopped kissing her neck and placed my chin back on her shoulder, softly caressing her round stomach.

"Babygirl, I just want to make sure that nothing happens to you or this beautiful little person inside of you. You know that I'm crazy in love with you. I've loved this kid from the moment we found out you were pregnant. I'm sorry, sweetness if I drove you crazy. Forgive me," I asked as I resumed kissing her on the neck. Kaiya smiled and a moan escaped her lips.

"I guess, but you know what?" Kaiya asked.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm craving a hot fudge sundae from Topsy's," Kaiya replied, referring to a local ice cream shop. I let her go and kissed her cheek. She ran her fingers in circles along my left thigh.

"Come on, let's go. Let's just eat it there, because if we don't you're going to eat it on the way home and then you're going to ask me to go back to get another one. Might as well kill two birds with one stone," I stated as I pulled her gently off the bed and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Sebastian, you know me too well," she replied with a sexy smile as she kissed my neck, softly biting it and soothing it with her tongue. I groaned, pulling her behind into my hands.

"Yeah, I know I do. I also know that if we don't get out of this bedroom soon, you're going to be naked, begging me not to stop making love to you," I replied, hard as a brick. I licked the shell of her left ear and Kaiya moaned and stopped kissing my neck. She pulled out of my embrace. Kaiya looked up into my eyes and winked, as she took off her shirt, then her blue front clasp bra. I love pregnancy, I thought. Just looking at those beautiful brown breasts of hers did something to me. Kaiya pulled off her pants, and her panties, and laid back on the bed on her elbows. She then proceeded to sit up with her legs spread wide, up at the knees...just the way I like to see her. She looked adorable and sexy, with that round, basketball belly sticking out. My baby was in there, I thought and the idea excited me. I licked my lips and hurriedly undressed. When I went to her, I licked her sex softly for awhile, then I entered her in one, full stroke. She clawed my back as I began to move in and out of her the way she liked it, moaning my name. Got damn, she felt good. Don't get me wrong, she always felt good, but damn...I loved pregnancy.

I whispered as I stroked faster into her, "You still want that sundae, baby?"

"Hell yes...I just need to...ooh baby...right there...yes...yes, just like that, ooh," she moaned. I smiled and pulled her right nipple into my mouth, as I continued to stroke into her.

"I know, baby...I know you too well," I whispered.

*********************************************************

Kaiya was in her 7 month and as sure as my mother said it, her doctor told her she had to slow down, which made me kind of glad because now...I could hover! I didn't have to walk around and wince or curse all the time while I watched her do something. The sex of the baby was still unknown. I couldn't believe that this kid was doing this to us. At this point, we didn't want to know. Mama Dee said it was just a sign of what to expect from this kid. Shit, I guess a hellraiser should have a hellraiser, huh?

One day in Neuro, I was browsing through my inner office mail, when I came upon an envelope addressed to me. It had no return address or postal stamp on it. I opened it and began to read. Oh, shit.

Dear Sebastian,

Hello, Bas. It's been awhile. I saw the wedding picture of you and Kaiya in the newspaper. You looked so wonderfully handsome and happy. You looked as if you were on the top of the world. I know you're probably wondering why I am writing you.

"Hell, I didn't know you could write," I thought as I continued to read.

(the letter continues)
I'm writing to you because I wanted to apologize for everything I did to you and your wife. I'm so surprised that I can actually say that and write that without becoming angry. I was pretty unstable at the time...

"No..you think?" I asked aloud and continued to read.

(the letter continues)
...and I was in a place where I never imagined myself being. I really liked you, Sebastian. I adored you. I was obsessed with you. Pretty creepy, huh?

"You have no fucking idea," I thought to myself.

(the letter continues)
After I was escorted out of your engagement party, I found myself back in New York and unemployable. Baby Phat fired me and all of my upcoming jobs were cancelled--I wonder why? Anyway, I was going insane, on top of being insane. I was hell bent on getting my revenge on you and your wife. I decided to go to Los Angeles, because my favorite aunt lived there. I told my aunt what happened, what I did and she implored me to get help. I did and I realized I did some terrible things to you and your wife. If I was in your shoes, I woiuld have reacted the same way. I was out of my mind with hatred and I wanted something that I couldn't, would never have. I am sorry.
I know it's not much, but it's something. Every bad thin that has happened to me since my evil tirade on you and Kaiya, I've caused and deserved. I wanted to let you know that I hold no ill feelings toward you or your wife any longer. You never loved me...we were never friends...hell, we never had a relationship...the only thing we had was sex.

"No shit, Sherlock," I said aloud.

(the letter continues)
I've enrolled in college and I've met someone who makes me feel the way you tried to explain to me that you feel about your wife. I told him every little sordid detail and you know what? He still wants me and loves me. He and my therapist are part of the reasons I wrote this letter...to truly let yo go and finally experience my own happiness. I am regrettably sorry for what I put you through. I will never darken your doorstep again or terrorize you or your wife. Again, I am sorry and I hope one day you may find it in your heart to forgive me. I wish you a happy life, Sebastian. You truly deserve it.

With sincere apologies,
Bianca

Holy Shit!!! I had to read the letter twice before I realized that she was finally out of our lives. I smiled as I folded the letter in half and ripped it into pieces. I guess we all go crazy at one time or another. Still, I'm glad she realized the truth...it only took a good ass whooping, unemployment and therapy to come to the realization...but I'm glad that Bianca would no longer be a threat to our lives. I decided not to tell Kaiya about this, because as far as she knew, Bianca was out of our lives. I promised her that she would never have to hear that woman's name again and I meant it. There is a God, I thought as I smiled and began to look at the stacks of Cat Scans that needed my attention.