Chapter 4

One week later, Tavin knocked on the office door of her therapist, Dr. Charlotte Marine. Dr. Marine was on the phone as she glanced at the digital clock on her desk, then at the opening door. Dr. Marine greeted Tavin with a warm smile and gestured with her hands to come in. Tavin had been seeing Dr. Marine for 2 years. When Tavin first began her sessions, she saw Dr. Marine twice a week, but because of her progress, Tavin only saw Dr. Marine once a week or once every other week. Dr. Marine was a good therapist and a nice woman. She was so easy to talk to. It took a few sessions for Tavin to open up to her, but when she did, a tidal wave of pain, hurt and shame washed to the surface. At first, Tavin was against the idea of pouring out her most intimate secrets, but she realized how helpful her sessions were and she did not want to stop them. Tavin usually sat in the chair directly across from Dr. Marine, but she had a lot to discuss with Dr. Marine, so she placed her purse at the end of the couch in Dr. Marine's office and laid down.

Tavin enjoyed her sessions with Dr. Marine because she never pressured her into talking. Dr. Marine let Tavin facilitate the sessions and that was comforting to Tavin.

Dr. Marine walked over in her mint green silk blouse and gray slacks. She sat in the chair closest to the couch. Dr. Marine began to speak.

"Hello, Tavin. How have you been? Any nightmares?" Dr. Marine asked, training her blue eyes on Tavin. Tavin looked at Dr. Marine and smiled.

"Fine and none, actually. Thanks for squeezing in a mini session for me. I really appreciate it," Tavin replied.

"No problem. So, what's going on?" Dr. Marine asked.

"So much, Dr. M. I don't know where to begin," Tavin said, looking at the ceiling.

"Well, just start at the beginning," Dr. Marine replied with a smile.

"Okay. Oh, I guess I'll start with Shelly's wedding. The wedding was absolutely incredible. Shelly looked so beautiful and the decorations, the cake, and the food was wonderful. That bachelorette party was pretty hot, too. All those young, sexy guys...whew. Anyway, Shelly and Donovan are in Spain, on their honeymoon. I'm so happy for my girl. She and Donovan have been through so much to get to the point that they have and I am so thankful that she married a good guy," Tavin replied with a smile.

"Well, that's nice. It's good to know that you and Nichelle are still so close after all these years," Dr. Marine stated.

"I know. I don't know what I would do without Shelly. I bet she's shopping all over Spain right now. Poor Donovan," Tavin said with a laugh.

"Spain is absolutely breathtaking this time of year. She's probably having a wonderful time," Dr. Marine replied.

"Yeah, I know she is. I've been told that Spain is beautiful. I told her to take tons of pictures and use her digital camcorder to capture the sights for me. I want to go to Spain one day," Tavin replied, with a sigh. Dr. Marine noticed that Tavin seemed to be in great thought and she wanted to see if she could get more out of her.

"Yes, it's lovely. Take a vacation there. You would love it. So, how's work?" Dr. Marine asked.

"Busy, really busy. I just got two more major accounts. Hopefully, I'll make partner in a year or two," Tavin replied. Tavin was an accountant at one of the largest financial firms in New York. Dr. Marine nodded her head, her dark brown hair moving as she did. Dr. Marine was waiting because she knew it would only be a matter of time before Tavin began to let everything out that was on her mind. Tavin began to speak.

"I've already told you in great detail about Cameron Caldwell, so I don't need to go there anymore. Well, he paid for Nichelle and Donovan's honeymoon. He paid for them to spend 2 weeks in Spain! Oh, did you know moneybags' parents own a house in Spain? That's were Nichelle and Donovan are lodging, but he paid for spa dates and all kinds of crap for them. I thought that was a pretty swanky gift, and it was pretty generous of him, I guess. Besides, it probably is just a drop in the bucket for him. He has money coming out of the wazoo, after all.

Do you know that he really aggravated the hell out of me last Friday evening at the rehearsal? Of course you knew, I've been telling you about it for two years. The man made me curse in church! It's hot in New York during the summer, Dr. Marine, so I can imagine what it feels like in hell. I really don't want to go to hell, but that man can make the most saintly person change their religion. He bugged the crap out of me and just rubbed that nerve until I ended up giving him the finger...both fingers...in church. I still don't understand why he finds it necessary to push my buttons.

Then at the wedding, he began to be less of a butthead. I mean, he actually complimented me and he was flirting with me like he meant it. Of course, he couldn't have meant it. Cameron flirts with anything in a skirt. I've seen the women that Cameron dates, and trust me, I ain't it. I mean, he dates all races, all types of women, but most of them fall in the tall, supermodel category, you know. I am definitely not his type. Do you know he had the nerve to call me a self-absorbed, stubborn brat? Okay, I may be stubborn, but I am not self-absorbed or a brat. I didn't have the luxury of being a brat. Anyway, I don't need to get into that today. I'm tripping, Dr. M, because guess what moneybags did? He kissed me...in the elevator...at the reception! Cameron Caldwell kissed me...well. And do you know what, Dr. M? I kissed him back. I wanted him to continue kissing and caressing me. I wanted to do other things, which is strange in itself, because I have never felt like that after kissing a man. Oh, and Dr. M, the man has got some seriously nice lips, too. His lips put most women's lips to shame. They are luscious, beautiful and pink... really suckable lips. I can't believe I'm sitting here talking about Cameron Caldwell and his hot lips. You must think I'm crazy, right?" Tavin asked turning her head to look at Dr. Marine. Dr. Marine nodded no.

"What am I saying? You're my therapist, of course you think I'm crazy," Tavin replied.

"You're not crazy, Tavin. You're just like everyone else. Everyone has problems and things that they are dealing with. Okay," Dr. Marine stated in that soothing voice of hers.

"Okay. Wait, let me finish. Cameron is as aggravating as a gnat, but he's such a good kisser, lord have mercy. Oh, let me tell you more about this kiss. Well, as Fabulips was putting the smackdown, literally, on me, he stops and gives me that stupid ass grin of his like he knew I was enjoying the kiss, which I was. After the kiss, I was in a daze. Hell, I was damn near catatonic. Cameron and I don't get along, but our lips are damn fond of each other. I don't know why I'm telling you about this, because he probably did it just to get to me. But, the thing is Dr. Marine, he did get to me. He has me thinking about wanting more of those kisses and getting to know him. Do you know he actually grabbed my ass? No man has ever grabbed my ass...actually, they've never had the courage to grab my ass, but he did...and it wasn't too bad. I have been daydreaming about the man, Dr. M, and I don't daydream. What in the hell is wrong with me? I never reacted to him like that before, and he is fine, Dr. M--those eyes ain't nothin' nice and that body...whew...the boy is superfragicagilisticexpealidocious fine. My bad, I did kiss him a few years ago, you know, after the attack. That that was a really good kiss, but this kiss was, damn, off the charts. It was different from the other kiss. It was...I can't even describe it. I can't think about Cameron Caldwell like this, Dr. M. We can't stand each other. But he felt really good and he smelled incredible. You know what's really bugging me now? I don't want to not like him anymore. That kiss blew me away. Whew," Tavin stated, letting out a deep breath.

Dr. Marine waited a moment, then she spoke. "Well, that was an interesting development at the wedding. I think that it's progress."

"How so? It was just a kiss?" Tavin replied.

"Tavin, what you just described to me was more than a kiss. You enjoyed this kiss immensely," Dr. Marine said.

"You can say that again," Tavin replied. Dr. Marine smiled.

"The last time you kissed someone, you froze and broke down. That was 2 years ago, Tavin. This kiss is very important because you've told me about the dates that you have went on recently. You told me the men were successful and attractive, but you could not kiss them. You couldn't reach the 1st intimate level with them. By kissing Cameron, you gave in and on a subconscious level, trusted him. This is huge, Tavin," Dr. Marine replied. Tavin thought about what Dr. Marine just said and remained silent.

"Why don't you think you're his type?" Dr. Marine asked.

"Because, he's wealthy, extremely wealthy...and white. I had a date with one white guy in college and that turned out horrible. We are just from different worlds, Dr. M. Besides, Cameron is the love 'em and leave 'em type. I'm not into men like that, Dr. M. We are just too different," Tavin replied, staring at the ceiling.

"Have you and Cameron ever spoke to one another without arguing?" Dr. Marine asked. Tavin pondered the question and replied.

"No, not really," said Tavin.

"So, how would you know what his type was? Tavin, many wealthy men date women to portray the ideal that is set for them. I'm not saying that Cameron was not attracted to the uber models, but has he ever been in a relationship with any of the women that you know of?" Dr. Marine asked.

"No," Tavin replied.

"Okay. So, how would you know what his type of woman was if you didn't come out and ask him?" Dr. Marine asked.

"You know what. That's true. It does make sense," Tavin stated.

"Furthermore, has it ever occured to you that the reason that Cameron starts these arguments with you is because deep down he has feelings for you. Maybe he feels that instigating an argument is the only he'll get to talk to you and receive attention from you. The man may be conceited, most are, but he can't be that bad, considering how he aided you years ago and saved you from your attacker", Dr. Marine stated.

"Cameron Caldwell...gorgeous, wealthy, white male...feelings for little old brown Tavin Wilson? Not possible," Tavin replied.

"It may be very possible Tavin. Maybe you are being too hard on him," Dr. Marine stated.

"Now you sound like my friends," Tavin said with a sigh.

"Tavin, think about your relationship thus far with Cameron. Deep down, do you really think that he's an evil man?" Dr. Marine asked. Tavin paused in thought for a few minutes, then, she answered Dr. Marine.

"Aggravating...yes. An asshole...yes. Conceited...yes. Evil...no, he's not evil. He just thinks that the world revolves around him," Tavin said as Dr. Marine laughed.

"Most men do, Tavin. I want you to try something. I think it will help," Dr. Marine asked as Tavin sat up and looked directly into Dr. Marine's eyes.

"Okay. What?" Tavin asked.

"Give him a chance. I'm not asking you to marry the guy, just try to be a little more friendly towards him the next time you meet. You stated to me that you and he were all friends with the same people. Try to be his friend," Dr. Marine said, but Tavin laughed.

"Dr. M, you're reaching," said Tavin.

"No, hear me out. Try to get to know the man, Tavin. What would it hurt? If he ends up being the jerk that you've so eloquently spoken of for the past two years, then leave it alone. Why don't you try it, Tavin?" Dr. Marine asked.

Tavin listened to Dr. Marine and remained silent for several minutes. What would it hurt? Tavin thought. If it turned out okay, their friends wouldn't be caught up in their web of ongoing drama and insults anymore. What the hell, Tavin thought.

"Okay, I'll try, but I'm not going to promise anything," Tavin replied, looking at Dr. Marine.

"That's all I ask," Dr. Marine replied. Tavin looked at her watch and grabbed her purse.

"Thank you again, Dr. Marine, for taking me at such short notice for a quick session. I really appreciate it," Tavin said with a small smile, walking to the office door.

"Anytime. And Tavin?" Dr. Marine asked as Tavin put her hand on the doorknob. Tavin turned and looked at her.

"Yes, Dr. Marine?" asked Tavin.

"Be open. Give it a chance. You never know what good may come out of this. Don't forget to make your next appointment with Pamela, and I will see you next time," Dr. Marine stated with a warm smile. Tavin returned Dr. Marine's smile.

"I will. Thanks, again. I'll see you later, Dr. M. Enjoy the rest of your week," Tavin replied as she walked out of the door. Tavin had been through so much, Dr. Marine pondered. Dr. Marine glanced at her notes and circled Cameron Caldwell. He may be just what she needs to break down some of those barriers, Dr. Marine thought with a smile.
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Cameron finished a long distance call and dialed Nicholas, to see if he wanted to have lunch. Nicholas agreed to meet him for lunch at Barney's, a deli in downtown Manhattan. He needed to get some insight on Ms. Tavin Wilson. Something changed as the thought about that incredible kiss for the thousandth time. She felt so right in his arms and her lips were absolutely scrumptious. Her skin was silky soft and beautiful. Cameron did not want to stop kissing her, but he knew that he had to. She didn't hate him, that much he knew because of the response he received from her during their kiss. He knew that he had to do something to get her to trust him. He had to find a way to make her see that he was not the conceited, self-absorbed, bimbo chasing bastard that she perceived him to be.

Cameron sat at a table in Barney's, awaiting Nicholas' arrival. As he waited, he returned a few calls to his clients. He looked up and saw Nicholas' tall frame ease through the deli's front door. Nicholas sat down across from Cameron and opened his gray suit jacket, placing it on the back of his chair. As Vice-President of Whitmore International Industries, Nicholas rarely had time to have lunch with his friends. Nicholas was glad that he had time to get away when Cameron called him. Something in his gut told him that this lunch was not just a hang out affair, but Cameron had something or someone on his mind that he needed to discuss...Tavin.

"Hey, you were actually on time today, Nick. What's up with that?" Cameron asked with a wide grin. Nick returned his grin.

"Luck, I guess. I wasn't tied up today. You sounded serious when you called and you look serious. What's going on with you?" Nicholas asked. The waitress smiled at the gorgeous men and took their order. She slowly walked away and glanced back at them. Nicholas winked at her and she blushed, and walked into the kitchen.

Cameron laughed. Nicholas was a big player, worst than Cameron. Cameron shook his head at Nicholas, because the last time the guys had lunch together, Nicholas was late, because he was literally tied up with a hot, young temp at his company. Nicholas had this amazing ability to make women feel comfortable and at ease, thus forming friendships with them. All women loved Nicholas, because of his good looks, quick wit and charm. By the time most women knew what had hit them, Nicholas would have them in bed. The funny thing about it was, after Nicholas slept with them, they remained friends with him. Cameron didn't know how Nicholas did it, but he knew his personality, his blue eyes, dark blond hair and 6'3 stature drew women to him like moths to a flame. He had an easygoing nature and had the uncanny ability to put people at ease. He was the mediator, the negotiator and the peacemaker within their circle of friends. He was also close to Tavin.

"It is serious. Man, I really need to talk to you about Tavin. I'm whiggin' out, Nick," Cameron replied. Nicholas' blue eyes lit up.

"Tavin's got you whiggin', huh? I knew it," Nicholas stated with a grin.

"Knew what?" Cameron asked.

"That something went on with you and Tavin at the reception. Dude, I saw you walking out of the elevator, wiping your lips and I saw Tav, in a daze. What did you do to her, Cam?" Nicholas asked.

Cameron gave Nicholas a dimpled grin. "I kissed the shit out of her."

"And?" Nicholas implored.

"I grabbed that fine ass of hers. I couldn't help myself. It teased me all night, under that silver gown. I couldn't help myself," Cameron repeated with a mischievious grin. Nicholas smiled back.

"You lucky son-of-a-bitch. Do you know how many people have wanted to touch that ass? The girl has one of the best asses I've ever seen," Nicholas replied with a smile that Cameron didn't like.

"Yeah she does, but enough about that," Cameron replied.

"What else happened?" Nicholas asked.

"That's it. I mean, I wanted to do more, but I thought that Tavin not punching me after I grabbed her ass was a good thing. I didn't want to push it. Besides, Tavin is really hard to read, which is weird, because I am the master at reading women, but not Tavin. I'm confused as shit when it comes to that girl," Cameron replied with a grin and a sigh. Nicholas laughed.

"Yeah, she is pretty hard to read, but you are about the only guy that I know of that has gotten that close to her. You're probably the only guy that could handle her. Are you trying to get with Tavin, because if you are, it ain't gonna happen, not right now," Nicholas stated.

Cameron's grin left his face and he looked at Nicholas with cool green eyes.

"Why? Because you want her? I mean, we've been tight for a long time, but if you have designs on Tavin, let me know," Cameron replied, with a hard edge to his voice.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, man," Nicholas said.

"Then answer my question. Do you want Tavin?" Cameron asked.

Nicholas shook his head. Cameron was jealous. Nicholas watched the hard set of Cameron's jaw and simply smiled. "No, Cam, we're just friends. Besides, I tried to get at her a couple of years ago."

"I knew it. What happened?" Cameron asked as their orders were placed in front of them. They began to eat. After two bites of his sub, Nicholas spoke.

"I kissed her and it felt like I was kissing my sister. Their was no spark, at all. Neither one of us felt anything and that was that," Nicholas replied. Cameron felt relieved. He didn't want to have to compete against Nicholas for Tavin.

"So, if you don't have your eye on her, why can't I make a move?" Cameron asked.

"Hello? Because, it's you Cam. Dude, for the past 8 years, you have made it your duty to piss that woman off. You can't just go to her and tell her, 'Oh, sorry about starting shit with you all these years, but I really want to get with you'. Come on, man, that ain't gonna fly. Look, is this just about you hitting the skins, or are you really feeling Tav?" Nicholas asked, taking a bite of his sandwich, his eyes glued to Cameron's. Cameron finished chewing and drank some of his soda.

"Well, I am incredibly attracted to her and yeah, I want to get with her, but that's not what this is about. I must be fuckin' nuts. She curses me out. She's mean as hell to me. I can't blame her, though, because I do drive her. I push the hell out of her buttons on the regular. I really do think that she's a stuck up bitch who needs to relax. But, with all that, I dig her man. I'm really feeling her, Nick. I mean, women don't usually insult me. I usually get my way, but not with Tavin. She tells me exactly what she thinks of me, and where to get off, and honestly, when she gets all pissed off at me, it turns me on...big time. I know, I'm sick, but I love it when she does that...", Cameron replied with an interruption from Nicholas.

"I know you do," Nicholas interrupted knowingly.

"But there's something about her that makes me want to know more. I mean, that kiss took the wind out of my sails. It knocked me off my feet, man, and not many kisses in my lifetime have done that. All I've been doing is thinking about her and having some very dirty dreams about that woman, with her fine ass. How can I get her to see the real me, Nick?" Cameron asked. Nicholas smiled, because he knew it all along.

"All I have to say is....it's about damn time. Okay, so what's the game plan, Cam?" Nicholas asked.

"Tell her that I want to get to know her, sweep her off her feet, tell her I want her, I don't know," a flustered Cameron stated. This was not the cool, calm Cameron that Nicholas knew, who was always in control. Tavin really got to him. He had never heard Cameron talk about a woman this way.

"Hold on, Mr. Lover Man...," Nicholas said.

"Shabba," Cameron interrupted and they both laughed.

"You're a dick, man. What I was going to say before you got all reggae on me is, you can't go, guns blazing at Tavin. You can't do that with her," Nicholas replied.

"Why the hell not?" Cameron asked.

"If you haven't noticed, Tavin is not like most women. She is the queen of barriers, man. She has so many walls around her and she's very guarded. She doesn't really trust men, either. I don't know why, but she doesn't. Anyway, you can't just come out and tell her you want her. You have to tread lightly, Cam. You have to do something that you've never done, before you pounce on her and try to seduce her," Nicholas replied.

"What's that?" Cameron asked.

"You have to slowly gain Tavin's trust. You have to get to know her. You really have to become her friend--really become her friend. Listen, Cam, my gut tells me that Tavin has feelings for you, but she's too stubborn to let anyone know. You have to slowly let her make her feelings known. If Tav can trust you as a friend, and get closer to you, she'll let her guard down, and then, you tell her how you feel. You are going to have to resist doing anything to her...kissing, touching, grabbing...and really get to know this woman, man," Nicholas stated.

Cameron took in everthing Nick said and nodded in agreement. It made sense. He had to find out who she really was if he wanted to get closer to her. He would tamper his urges, which wouldn't be easy to do, and start something platonic with her. Cameron smiled slowly.

"You're right, Nick. That does make sense. So, what do I do first?" Cameron asked.

Nicholas smiled. "The first thing you need is another ally. You have to talk to Shelly. See if she'll spill anything that will help you get closer to Tavin."

"I'll do that when she gets back from Spain. Thanks again, Nick," Cameron replied.

"No problem. I've been waiting on this for a long time. I can't wait to see how this turns out. Good luck, man, because you are going to need it," Nicholas replied as they finished their lunch.