The reddish-orange light poured through the windows of the banquet hall in the castle, and Arthur let out a tiny sigh of relief. He’d only have to pretend for a little while longer; just until sundown when this spectacle of a celebration ended.

He’d expressly told his father that he wanted nothing more than dinner with him, Morgana, and some of his knights that he considered friends. But true to form, King Uther had to do things his way, even if it was his son’s birthday, not his. Arthur had briefly thought of locking himself in his room for the night, but he knew his father’s stubbornness matched his own, and he’d likely force the guests to stay until Arthur came out – even if that took weeks.

So here he was, in a crowded room full of people he’d either known since birth or barely knew at all; surrounded by the most delicious of foods, and utterly miserable. His face hurt from the practiced smile he’d put on since the festivities started, and his tolerance was thinner than usual for the vapid courtiers and nobleman. The only thing that kept him from screaming was the sinking sun on the horizon.

“Your majesty!”

Arthur’s focus was taken from the windows to the shrill voice of Baroness Rhodes. He let out a silent groan before turning around, his fake smile firmly in place.

“Baroness,” Arthur replied. His eyes moved to the portly woman’s right, where he immediately recognized her eldest daughter, Gadriel. “Lady Gadriel”

“This is a most splendid gathering, sire,” Gadriel said, nodding so hard that her blond hair bounced wildly. “You must be so pleased.”

“My father insists on the best,” Arthur stated. “I’m glad you approve.”

“Oh, most definitely, sire,” Gadriel gushed. “ I hope you’re equally as pleased with the gift I brought you.”

“Oh yes, it is to die for! My Gaddy picked it out herself, didn’t you darling?” the Baroness added.

Gadriel did her crazed nod again and Arthur nearly rolled his eyes. He couldn’t take much more of this.

“There you are, Arthur! I was beginning to think you’d snuck off to see your gifts!”

Arthur almost squealed in relief at hearing Merlin’s voice. For as much as the boy irritated him, Merlin had indeed turned out to be the best friend he’d ever had. Not that Arthur would ever tell him so.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Arthur replied before shooting Merlin a knowing look. He saw Merlin hide a grin.

“I’m terribly sorry to trouble you, sire, but there’s  a matter that requires your urgent attention.” Merlin said in a tone so sincere that Arthur almost believed it. Merlin looked at the two women regretfully. “My apologies for stealing him away. Baroness, my Lady.”

The woman bowed to Arthur before he turned and headed in the direction that Merlin directed. He walked to the other side of the room, before slipping out through one of the servants’ exits. Once he made it the balcony, he let out the sigh he’d been holding all night. The night air was cool, but it felt good to him, like it was trying to blow away the heaviness in his heart. Arthur heard a chuckle to his left and turned.

“I suppose I should thank you for that, back there,” Arthur said. “An evening with Baroness Rhodes results in no less than a week of headache,”

Merlin laughed out loud this time, and Arthur had to join in.

“You looked like you needed rescuing,” Merlin teased. “Seems to be my lot in life with you.”

Arthur’s laughter slowed as his forehead creased.

“What are you talking about? I’m the one who’s had to pull your fat out of the fire more times than I can count.” Arthur replied. “In fact, I think you owe me.”

Merlin gave him an amused look as he nodded.

“Yes, I suppose I do.” Merlin agreed. “But only because it’s your birthday.”

Arthur’s smile faded at this, and he turned and leaned onto the railing.

“So it is,” Arthur said quietly.

Merlin’s smile also disappeared at Arthur’s sudden change of mood.

“Is…are you alright, Arthur?” Merlin asked tentatively. For a while, Arthur said nothing, and Merlin wondered if he’d even heard him.

“Have you ever felt as though you were given everything, and left with nothing all at once?” Arthur asked suddenly. Merlin was taken aback by the question; he had no idea where it came from, or how to answer it.

“I…I can’t say that I have, “ Merlin admitted after some thought. “How could such a thing be possible?”

Arthur was silent again for a moment, but then turned his head slightly and spoke over his shoulder.

“Would you go back and make sure my father isn’t looking for me? I…I just need a moment.”

Merlin debated as to whether or not to press the matter, but decided against it. He’d noticed that Arthur had been in a strange mood all day, and perhaps all he needed was some time to himself.

“Of course, sire,” Merlin said quietly. Arthur nodded at him and turned back to the horizon, effectively dismissing him. Merlin started back into the castle, but stopped at the door to add, “Oh, and happy birthday.”

Arthur said nothing, and Merlin took that as his cue to leave. He hurried back to the banquet hall, keeping himself close to the walls so as to keep an eye on things without getting in the way. He saw Uther sitting on his throne, deeply in conversation with the King of Avalon. At least Merlin wouldn’t have to worry about distracting him for a while. He decided to sneak himself a plate of delicacies while he waited.

~*~*~*~*

“Are you even listening to me, Gwen?”

The words cut through Gwen’s trance, causing her to blink rapidly. She turned to Morgana, who had a familiar scowl on her face.

“Hmm? Of course,” Gwen lied, frantically trying to remember what Morgana was talking about. “You were mentioning how the women of Avalon have the nicest jewelry.”

Morgana gave Gwen a knowing look.

“That conversation was ages ago,” Morgana corrected.  “What has you so distracted tonight? I know it can’t  be the company.”

Gwen only wished she could tell Morgana what was stealing her attention. Gwen couldn’t really even admit it to herself yet. How do you tell your mistress that you think you’ve fallen in love with the crown prince? The whole situation was ridiculous, really, and Morgana would only try to convince her of that. Though she knew it was impossible; that feeling the way she did was not at all healthy – she couldn’t bear the thought of hearing someone else tell her it was doomed.

Very little remained in Gwen’s life in the way of hopeful things. With no family now, a mistress that could soon marry and a King she didn’t trust, Gwen’s future seemed painfully drab and lonely. But somehow, a small glimmer of hope had crept into the veil of sadness she was feeling. It had started when Arthur had come to her to offer his condolences over her father’s death. The gesture had been small, but it gave her a glimpse of the man that Arthur was becoming. A man that she wanted to know far more intimately…

“I think I’m just tired, my Lady,” Gwen said at length. “I haven’t been sleeping well in this cold weather.”

Morgana gave Gwen a sorrowful look. It bothered Morgana deeply that Gwen was forced to live in her draughty, make-shift home. But Uther had explicit rules about servants staying at the castle and wouldn’t bend.

“Poor Gwen,” Morgana soothed. “I understand all too well how a sleepless night can affect you. You should go home and try to get some rest. I’ll be fine here.”

Gwen started to shake her head, but Morgana gave her a stern look.

“I’m not asking, Gwen, I’m telling you. Go on, this is almost over anyways.”

Gwen pleaded with Morgana for a moment more before giving in and starting for doors. She really didn’t want to go home; it was colder there, and it hadn’t truly felt the same since her father died.  Besides, she’ d hoped to see Arthur again before the night ended; she’d noticed that he was unusually distant for most of the day, and that he looked sad despite the merriment around him. He’d disappeared some time ago before Gwen had a chance to speak with him. Gwen took lingering steps towards the door, hoping that Arthur would come through them before she had to leave. She glanced to her right and saw Merlin backed into a corner with his face buried in a full plate of food. She smiled as she watched him gorge himself.

“Hungry?”

Merlin froze mid-chew at the voice, but relaxed when he saw that it was only Gwen. Had she been with Morgana, he would have been horrified.

“Sorry,” he mumbled through his mouthful. “But I couldn’t resist.”

Gwen giggled at him  as she took a grape from his plate.

“Can’t blame you, the food is amazing,” she commented. “The whole evening has actually been quite wonderful, don’t you think?”

Merlin nodded as he swallowed his food.

“Yes,” he agreed once he could speak. “It’s certainly better than any birthday I’ve ever had.”

“Me too,” Gwen said. She glanced around the room again. “Speaking of which, where’s the guest of honor?”

Merlin shrugged.

“He’s near,” Merlin answered. “He just wanted a moment to himself. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

Gwen’s expression turned to one of concern.

“He isn’t himself, is he?” she asked, not caring how it sounded. Merlin looked at her for a moment before sighing and shaking his head.

“No, I don’t think he is,” Merlin admitted. “I don’t know what it is, but he just seems…”

“Sad.” Gwen answered.

“Yes,” Merlin said. “That’s exactly what it seems like. Like he’ sad about something, though I can’t imagine what. He’s the prince of Camelot, strong, handsome and the object of more than just a few women’s affections. He should be walking on clouds.”

“Things aren’t always what they seem, Merlin,” Gwen said softly. “Everyone has their dark places.”

Merlin sighed.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” Merlin relented. “But I still don’t see what it could be.”

“Did you ask?”

“Of course!” Merlin squeaked. “But he didn’t’ say anything so…”

“Typical” Gwen said, folding her arms. Merlin looked confused.

“What?”

“You see that he’s been brooding all day, and you believe him when he tells you that nothing is wrong?” Gwen asked. Merlin nodded.

“Why wouldn’t I? He’d tell me if there was something…wouldn’t he?”

Gwen thought about explaining the inner workings of emotions to him, but decided against it in favor of keeping her temper.

“Where is Arthur?” Gwen asked again. Merlin pointed outside the doors.

“Out on the terrace.” Merlin answered.  “He said he wanted to be alo- hey! Where are you going?”

“To really make sure that he’s alright,” Gwen answered in a hushed tone. “So stop stuffing yourself and keep an eye out for the King for me.”

Merlin had to smile at this. Her tone and stance when she barked the last order reminded him so much of Arthur that he felt compelled to obey.

“As you wish, your highness!” Merlin replied, giving Gwen a mock bow. Gwen gave him a sheepish smile before heading out of the doors.

She could definitely see herself getting used to that title.