A frame that holds an array of pictures sits my desk. When I lose my way, I sit there and allow them to re-teach me what's important in my life.

The first picture is one taken two days before my husband asked me to marry him. He surprised me with a sunset cruise on the lake with a few of our good friends. Both he and I are wearing jeans and t-shirts and because the night had a bit of a chill to it, I'm huddled close to him for warmth. When my friend Elise took the picture I was looking into the camera, but Peyton was looking down at me. The expression on his face always reminds me of the attention and admiration he's always given me. Before I met him, I never thought that I would be on the receiving end of that kind of affection in my lifetime. Imagine being completely prepared to settle only to get more than you even knew existed. It's overwhelming and a bit scary but one of the biggest blessings one can get. Finding myself in love with him was one of the most unexpected feelings of my life when it first happened but now that it's been ten years I happily accept it as my foundation.

The print beside that is a portrait from my wedding. I'm in the middle in my wedding gown and on either side of me are my best friends Elise and Charlie. Even in though the photo is black and white the contrast of us is obvious. I'm in the middle with my dark skin and dark hair, Elise is on the left with her pale skin and red curls, and Charlie is on the right with her olive skin and light brown bob. The differences of our appearances are examples of our individuality. Yet our physical closeness in the picture, our arms around each other with ease and relaxation exemplify the spiritual intimacy we have. If you look at us you'll see that thru twenty years of drama, bonding, and life we're like the foundation in each other's lives.

Anne, Kick, and PJ's grinning faces fill the third slot of the frame. Sometime when their father and I weren't paying attention the kids must have gotten hold of the camera and decided to play around with it. I discovered this when I went to pick up the photos from one hour photo and had a scattering of out of focus thumb shots, a few pictures of their sneakers and this one great shot where they were perfect. I look at it and I see the various pieces of myself and Peyton in them. When I say that it's beyond the fact that Kick has my eyes or that PJ has his nose. I'm reminded that Anne shares a passion for photography that clearly comes from her father. The three of them were a dream that I had from the time I was a little girl and the reality of them is so much more than grape stains on my couch or footsteps up and down the hallway. I used to worry that I wouldn't be a good enough mother, that I didn't have that kind of love and giving in me. But then Anne came to us and whatever instinct lying dormant in me was awakened instantly.

Peyton was completely open to us being parents and once we were, the babies just started shooting out of us.

The last image is one of our son Isaac. We lost Zac just after his second birthday in a car accident. I was four months pregnant with Kick when he died and if weren't for her and for Anne I might have died with him. For a very long time it was painful to have pictures of him around, but then I realized that by keeping him hidden away I wasn't acknowledging that he'd been here and that we loved him and think about him. The picture is from his cousin's birthday party and he's got chocolate cake and icing all over his face and in hair. There's a spoon sticking out of his mouth but it doesn't hinder the grin on his face in the least.

Because of Zac I know that I can face one of my biggest fears and move on. Because of Zac I cherish everyday with my family and friends because I know that none of them are guaranteed to be there tomorrow. Because of Zac I try to be the best wife, mother, and person I can be. Who can say that one of their children has taught them one of life's most valuable lessons?

That frame doesn't just hold five pictures. It holds my hopes, my dreams, my future. It holds everything.