Penname: Cholyn [Contact]

Real name: Brandy

Member Since: 20/09/09

Membership status: Member

Bio:

Lilies

 




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Reviews by Cholyn


LV Choppers© by Denita585
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 233]
Summary:

             

 

After being betrayed by her best friend and being cheated on by her boyfirend, Aiyana Kendricks has decided to leave her hometown of Rochester NY behind. Moving to Las Vegas, she finds herself happy with new friends, a great party planning job, and a new boyfriend named Mark. But what happens when her past comes into her life again? Will the new couple be able to stay together when so many forces are trying to pull them apart?

~*~

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here an' the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind

~*~

LV Choppers Playlist

Something To listen to while reading LVC. All of the songs have inspired me in some way when it comes to the story and characters.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: Original Character(s), Other
Classification: General
Genre: Comedy , Drama
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Extreme Language, Original Characters, Sexual Content , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 34
Completed:No
Word count: 70063
Read Count: 32184
Published: 19/04/10
Updated: 19/01/11

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Title: Chapter 25: Either Or

LOL@ the waitress

Aww Dave, give him someone else! That skank does not deserve him. I hate her more and more each chapter. lmao

Phillis has some nerve to be mad, because Alek has a side piece. And why should he, when she has one.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 26: I Doubt It

Aww mind games, I hope Mark is smarter than that...Naw, he's not. I feel bad for Ana and Dave, because they are the only ones on the up an up. The are the only ones trying to see the best in their partners.

Again, I hate Somara, and Ricky is an ass. I would love to know, why, he's go gung ho about getting Ana back.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 27: Taking Charge

Oh Snap, the ish is about to hit the fan, and I can't wait. I wonder if Mark will find out about Ana keeping Phil's secrest, and Ana discovers Mark.

Poor Dave, I hope he doesn't physically arm her, but if he just yell and calls her verything in the book, or is cold as ice, I will cheer him on every step of the way.

Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 6: Double Date

I just have to say "You go girl!" I know cliche, but it needed to be said. LOL

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 28: Calm Before The Storm

When did AJ put out a solo album? I use to be in love with him. lmao

I hate Rick. I really and truly hate him.

I'm looking forward to the drama in the next chapter.

Thanks for updating.



Author's Response: AJ was my favorite. He came out with an album in Feb I think...but only in Japan. It has some great tracks...check out youtube. "What If", "London", "Have It All" and "Gorgeous" are my favorite tracks.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 08/05/10
Blood Sugar Sex Magik by Outlawstar615
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 28]
Summary:

Experiencing phantom limb is nothing compared to phantom sex. She could feel his breath on her neck even though she knew he was miles away, hear him whispering the words in her ear, telling her to repeat them. She could only hope he was feeling as crazy as she looked. Writhing in her bed, messing up the sheets, labored breathing, the whole nine. She could even feel his long sweaty hair on her, tantalizing her.......now she understood the meaning of the lyrics to Blood Sugar Sex Magik.



Table of Contents
Categories: Music
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Sexual Content , Strong Sexual Content , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 7
Completed:No
Word count: 10740
Read Count: 5187
Published: 28/04/10
Updated: 06/08/10

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Title: Chapter 4: One Hot Minute

I'm liking this story so far. June needs to step back a bit, and chant "keep your legs closed, keep your legs closed". lol She may want to invest in some pants.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 03/05/10
Title: Chapter 3: The Greeting Song

It was good. So far I like the lead, and the side characters. Although, I don't really see the Peppers, when I read it. June needs to concentrate a little more on the music, and not what's in his tub sock. lol

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 01/05/10
Title: Chapter 2: They're Red Hot

Nice starts. I usually don't read fics that star real people. But I decided to to stop by, and check out the first chapter.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 28/04/10
Title: Chapter 5: If You Have To Ask

There were some grammar issues in this chapter. I like that you did some research, so you know how they would answer some of the questions. 

I think you should get to know you characters. Of course you don't know Anthony, but this is a version of him, don't try to be exact. Take what you know about him, and merge that, with what you feel this character would do, or how he would feel. I also believe that you should tape a little more into June. Who is she? 

JMO

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed
Date: 05/05/10
Island Interlude by Junebug66
Rated: Mature Content
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 222]
Summary:

Island Interlude is the story of Gabrielle Hall, a young woman who teaches physical education and K.C. Whitfield an architect who comes to the fictional island of St. Sebastian. They meet and sparks fly but K.C. isn't who he seems and Gabrielle must decide if she can live with who he really is.    

island interlude                

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Erotica, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Dubcon, Original Characters, Racism, Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 47
Completed:No
Word count: 97729
Read Count: 235254
Published: 07/05/10
Updated: 01/02/11

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Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

I'm really liking how you merge their history and that of the island into the story.

Author's Response: Even though St. Sebastian is fictional there are several common cultural themes that run through the islands, whether it is food, music or other traditons that will be making an appearance. Enjoy!

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 14/05/10
Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Meeting Tiffany is most definately inevitable. She will probably realize that she made a mistake and want him back.

I hope Rielle tells himn exactly why she felt a need to drop his hand in front of her friends. I understand why, but she did it, but he's clueless.  

You are very good at discribing scenery. Although at times, it didn't feel as though the characters wer discribing the scenes, which disrupted the flow of the story.



Author's Response:

Thanks Cholyn I still have to fine tune my style so I appreciate you keeping me straight. Yes we will be meeting Tiffani and Rielle has been out of the game for a while so she's forgotten dating etiquette.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 29/05/10
Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Jun, I'm happy that I ate a few hours ago, because you are killing me with the food. lol

I really enjoyed this chapter. I liked the different dynamics in each budding relationships. The last line from KC was really cute. The visual aspect and the characters where balanced quite nicely, and it was easy to see them navigate through the party.

I'm looking forward to a little Camille and Jarrod one on one time. :D  

 



Author's Response: I know I can't help the food thing too much Food Network. Glad you are enjoying the flow. Trying to put the criticism to good use but sometimes you get so involved in the story you can't see the forest for the trees. Thanks again for that and I As to Cam and Jarrod I will have to make a decision as to whether I want to do their story before or after. Thanks for reading and reviewing Cholyn. 

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 01/06/10
Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23

No, he shouldn't have said anything to her sooner. I'm sorry, but Gabrielle is overreacting. Her brother told her the truth, and she needs listen.

Gf got the side eye from me, when she hung up on him. She needs to check herself. I get that she's upset, and I understand that she's in shock, but get a grip.



Author's Response:

You know we women can be contrary when we meet someone we really like. Gabrielle didn't hang up on him she said good night very politely before disconnecting the call. Thanks for reading girl as usual you are the voice of reason. As you can se I've seriously put to use your lesson of placing images and I thank you for that as well. Appreciate it Cholyn.

 

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed
Date: 08/06/10
Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24

This chapter was a little confusing with the back and forth, because it was mostly exposition.

I like Magdalena, she is a feirce mom, who's not easily swayed, when it comes to her children. I was suprised that Graham gave in first.

 



Author's Response: It did go a little awry, I will work harder to keep it tight. Thank you for that. Momma is fierce but I wouldn't say that Graham gave in. The way he sees it he is keeping his frenemies close. K.C. is still an unknown entity and he is trying to get to know the man because he is going to be in his daughter's life whether they like it or not. Thank you for reviewing I really appreciate it.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed
Date: 11/07/10
Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15

So will there be a hurricane on the horizon, and I don't mean the sexual kind. lol

You seem to really like seafood, but then again St. Sebeastian is an island.



Author's Response: Who said anything about stormy weather? There will be enough time for fast food later trust me. Bon Apetit!

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 22/05/10
Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16

St. Sebatians sounds like a wonderful place. I'm happy Reille put some cards on the table.

Author's Response:

Thanks for visiting the best island in the Caribbean, thank you for visiting. Gabrielle knows when to hold them and when to slap them down.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 22/05/10
Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

I love the relationship between Reille and her parents. I appreciate her mother not wanting to worry the kids with her illness, and encouraging Reille to continue her education after the truth was revealed. You have a knack adding information, without distracting from the story.



Author's Response: Breast cancer is a subject that is literally near if not dear to my heart. In my case we did tell my daughter and I was the one that was away and she stayed home for college which she would have done anyway. So I can actuallly speak on this one. It will either strengthen you or break you.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 21/05/10
Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

KC almost broke his neck trying to get out of that car. lol 



Author's Response: When you see a good thing you gotta strike while the iron is hot before someone else gets it. lol

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 21/05/10
Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

KC sounds like a playa, and I hope Reille plays him. I thought he was a good guy, but it seems he's got a little bit of bad boy in him, and I love me some bad boy.

 Who is Jarrod seeing on the sly?

It's taking me a while to read this, with school and everthing, but I'm getting through one chapter at a time. LOL



Author's Response: K.C.'s got a little playa playa in him, he's not a total dog. Jarrod has it bad for Camille. Good luck with school and keep on keeping on. Thank you for reading with your busy schedule.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 18/05/10
Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

I like the set up to K.C.'s moms secret past. What happened to her, and why won't she talk about it?



Author's Response: Wait and see Grasshopper. I really appreciative of everyone's response to the cast and I have to say again thank you for your help.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 12/05/10
Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

St. Sebastians does sound ideal. K,C's fiance is something else. I'm happy that he threatened to sue her skanky butt.

Author's Response: Gotta keep them skanks in their place.

Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 12/05/10
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hmm, who is in the car? Yes, nothing much happened in this chapter, but I have a feeling that car is going to bring something interesting into Rielle's life.

I liked that you provided a brief history of the island, without distracting from the story.



Author's Response: You know it.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 11/05/10
Title: Chapter 7: Cast of Characters

Yummy Cast!

Author's Response: I couldn't have done it without you! Thank you so much!

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 11/05/10
Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Aww Happy Belated Birthday!

I would love more insight into Camile and Jarrod, there's an interesting story there.

I hope Reille and K.C. cont. to take this relationship slow. Although a little heat would be nice, just as long as neither gets burnt.



Author's Response:

Thank you Cholyn. You will get bits and pieces, but I am leaning towards writing their own story sooner rather than later now. The burn has been turned up and is about to get hotter. Thanks for reading. 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you Cholyn. You will get bits and pieces, but I am leaning towards writing their own story sooner rather than later now. The burn has been turned up and is about to get hotter. Thanks for reading. 

 

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed
Date: 04/06/10
Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22

I like Chris, he's a good addition to the story. I sorta hope he does fall in line with trusting K.C, even after he discovers the truth about him.

 



Author's Response: Now know he can't let him get away that easy right. Big Bro will be watching.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 04/06/10