Part one

January

“J, hey J. Wait up!! Come on Jason you know I can't walk as fast as you, slow down already!!”

“Yeah okay Pipsqueak I hear ya, I’m waiting OK. God your acting as if I’m about to dash off or something.”

“You know I don't like it when you do that, what if you leave like dad did?” He turned around and faced me square on.

“Pipsqueak I'd never leave you, I’m not dad, I’m your brother okay. It's my job to look after you.” He grabbed my hand. “How was school today then?”

“Good, I got 10 out of 10 in my spelling test, the teacher said I really improved!” I grinned looking up at him as he gave my hair a good ruffle. I loved it when he did that, it meant that he was proud of me. “And in dance practice Mrs Jenna said that I was good enough to participate in the recital this year, I cant wait, we're doing Cinderella.”

“Well done Pi, your ballet is definitely improving, I’m betting you want to be Cinderella then you've always loved the film.”

“Well I did, but then I thought maybe I’m not pretty enough for that. Emily's a better dancer and she looks just like Disney's Cinderella you know, long blonde hair big blue eyes. I don't think I can compete.” He stopped suddenly and let go of my hand.

“Pipsqueak look at me and listen. You are definitely pretty enough to be a princess or whatever you want to be, do you hear me, and don't think or let anyone else make you think otherwise. Just because you're not blonde haired or blue eyed doesn’t mean you can't be a princess.” He held my hand again as we crossed the road. “If you want something bad enough then you just have to work hard enough to get it.”

“Okay.”

“Good, you hungry?” Just on queue my stomach rumbled. I'd only eaten a sandwich, and two biscuits that my best friend Sarah had shared with me. Mum had gotten back late from her night shift and didn't have the time to make me breakfast. When she remembered that I needed a lunch all we actually had in the fridge was some leftover chicken and cheese. Not that I was complaining, I liked chicken and cheese sandwiches. They tasted good, but never completely satisfy me.

“Come on I’ll treat you to some chocolate.”

“Really?!” I thought about it for a second, its not that I didn't want the chocolate, but rather.....“J how did you get the money for chocolate, mum didn't give you any this week. Its rent week we never really get any money, especially when the rents due.”

He stared at me for a few moments, “ You know for an 8year old you really are observant aren’t you. I swear you're more like an adult then a child. Aiden leant me some okay miss inspector.” He laughed and we continued to the local corner shop next to our estate. “Which one do you want then?”

“Umm can I have the kinder surprise please?” It was my favourite one, what could be better then chocolate with a toy?!

“Sure thing, can I get that and a kit kat please.” He handed over a scrunched up £20 note. This confused me a bit, Aiden was the same age as my brother, 14, and came from the same estate, so he never really had that much money on him a fiver the most. Yet he had leant J £20. I was about to open my mouth, when another thought crossed my mind.

I was probably just over thinking.

*

“Do you think mum will be home when we get in?” We walked up the 5 flights of steps, someone had broken the elevator, again.

“Probably not, she had to take on some extra shifts at the hospital. But don't worry she would have gone shopping by now, I’ll make us dinner.”

We got back in, J was right mum wasn't back yet, but she had gone shopping and there was a note on the fridge.

>>J and Pi sorry about this morning I promise tomorrow I’ll make pancakes OK? I’ve left some food in the fridge just heat it up. Make sure you do your homework. Don't wait up. See you in the morning sweethearts xx <<

“You heard her, get your homework out, and I’ll start heating up dinner in a bit.”

“Um, okay.”

*

“Thanks for dinner J!”

“No problem, wash up and finish your homework and then its off to bed Pipsqueak.”

“Yeah I’m going.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Stay here I’ll get it.”

I continued washing up and then went back to finish off my maths by the coffee table. I heard the raised voices quickly followed by the door slamming. “Who was that?”

“No one, how's maths going?”

“Fine, almost done.”

“Good, bed in 20 minuets okay.” And then he walked back to the kitchen, I tried to shrug off the bad vibe I was getting, but couldn't help feeling like something wasn't right. The last time he slammed the door like that it was social services.

**

Two weeks later

“Why isn't Jason walking me home again?” I turned to look at Aiden expectantly.

“I told you he just got held up in class, so he asked me to take you home, he won't be long OK Pi?”

I sighed still not satisfied by his explanation. “Okay.”

“How's ballet going, rumour has it you got the role as Cinderella.”

“How did you know? J told you right?”

“Of course he told me, couldn't stop bragging about it matter of fact. Pip this and Pip that.”

“Well its been going well, I have to practice through lunch time from now on though, after school sometimes too.”

“Your mum must be proud though.”

“Yeah I guess, she was super excited when she read the letter, but I think she's a bit worried. I need an outfit, accessories and new ballet shoes. I think its just burdensome really.”

“You worry too much, you're a kid, and I’m sure your mum is more then happy to support you.”

“Um. I suppose so.”

*

“Dinners ready, wash-up when your done and do your homework. I'm just two doors down, I’ll put the spare key back, call if you need me OK. And remember don't open the door for anyone no exceptions.”

“Okay see you later Aiden.”

After doing my homework I went to read a book on my bed in my room, I must have fallen to sleep as I woke to a knock on my bedroom door. “Pi, you up?”

“Yeah I’m up. What took you so long, I thought you were just held up?”

“I'm sorry Pi I didn't mean to worry you. But as a surprise I got you these!” He pulled a shoe box and handed it to me.

“Ballet shoes!! And they're not cheap either!! Wow Jason, they're so pretty. Thank you thank you thank you. I love you so much, you're the best brother ever!”

“And look what I got in the supermarket on my way home,” he emptied out a plastic bag on to the bed “cheesecake, chocolates, fizzy drinks........all the things you never get to buy.”

I sat upright and speechless, cheesecake, Thortons chocolates and actual coca-cola “But we never get these things, they're too expensive.”

“Don't worry Pi, our lucks changing. Trust me OK.”

“How did you even get this stuff? Does mum know?”

“Don't worry about that okay, and for now just tell mum that the school gave you the ballet shoes, she doesn't need to know about the food stuff. It's our secret okay, this way we wont have to worry about food at all yeah. It'll mean less pressure for mum.”

“Okay.”

“Love you Pi.”

“Love you too J.”

**

A week later

“Wow Pip you're lunch box looks really good today.” She was right it did look good, in fact for the past week my lunches had been better then ever. A double decker chicken salad sandwich, chocolates, crisps, three chocolate digestives and my favourite, strawberry milkshake. I never felt hungry these days, even if I didn't get much food at home. J had kept his promise, so I would keep the secret.

“Thanks Sarah, do you want to try some?”

“Yes please, here you can have one of my mum's home-made cookies as trade.” But I still couldn't stop myself from feeling a pang of jealousy when biting into the home-made cookie. It was delicious. Maybe mum would have the time to make some one day. Not that I was angry at mum, work was a necessity. Bills, rent, food, clothes.......all these things cost money. I may only be eight but I already knew the importance of money.

“It's delicious Sarah thanks.”

***

A month later~February

“Is you brother not here to collect you yet?”

“No Mrs Jenna, but he'll be here soon. He's never usually late.”

“I know don't worry I’ll wait with you.”

“Thank you.” I liked Mrs Jenna, she was nicer then most adults, somewhat like an elder sister or aunt.

“When you get home make sure to get some proper rest okay, you stamina has really improved but don't over practice. Looking after your body is very important at your age. Especially if dance is something you want to do in the future. And I hope it is, you've got talent, I mean it.”

“Pip! Pip! Sorry I’m late.” He stood short of breath in front of me propping himself up with his hands on his knees. “I got caught up.”

I noticed the a fleeting expression change on Mrs Jenna's face before it was gone. “Nice trainers Jason, are they new?” She asked. I looked at my brothers trainers, they were the same ones he usually wore. Except, something was different.

“New shoelaces.”

“Huh.” He looked at me strangely.

“New shoelaces right? These ones are navy blue and checkered, your old ones where black.” He glanced towards Mrs Jenna, as if unsure of something.

“You really have eagle eyes right Pi, come on we better get going. We'll be late for dinner.”

“One second, Pip would you come with me, I forgot to give you the times for next weeks classes.”

“Okay.” I went inside the studio.

“Here you go.” She paused after handing me the piece of paper. “Look Pip if you ever need to talk to someone you can talk to me okay. If anything seems different at home then just let me know okay.”

I stood confused before answering back “okay.”

“Good, get home then your brother's waiting.”

***

Three months later~May

“Mum hurry up hurry up! He'll wake up any time now! Quickly!”

“I'm hurrying already, let me just light the candles.” She rushed to get the candles out of the kitchen drawer and placed them on to the home-made chocolate birthday cake, J's favourite. She lit the candles with a match and placed the cake on a plate ready to carry into his room.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON!!” we both screamed at the top of our lungs, before I jumped on to his bed.

He woke we such a jolt that I almost toppled sideways off the bed, if it hadn't have been for his quick reflexes enabling him to catch me. His eyes quickly locked on to the chocolate cake.

I could see that he was happy about his birthday surprise.

“Mum, Pi-”

“Happy birthday my baby boy, who's not much of a baby any more right. Fifteen, fifteen I can't believe how fast time flies. I remember when you were in nappies clinging on to me. You two are growing up so fast!”

“Ahhh mum please.”

“Quick, quick blow out the candles and make a wish.”

He closed his eyes and blew out the candles, making a silent wish.

“Cake time!!” I practically ran to the kitchen, excited at the prospect of spending a day with mum. We sat together around the kitchen table eating our chocolate cake.

“Guess what J, mum took the whole day off work, so we can all go out together today.”

“Really?”

“Yep, no day or night shifts for me. I get to spend the whole of today with my children. So what would you like to do birthday boy?”

“Everything.” he said simply. He looked the happiest I'd ever seen him.

**