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It was definitely Azalea, Matt stared at the small black and white picture in the New England Tribune and his heart clenched. She was even more beautiful now than before,Figures. They met in college, well technically she went to Rutgers and he ran around banging freshman but they did meet on campus. He was leaving one of his random jump offs dorm room with his fitted Jimmy Hendrix shirt ripped Levi's and Vans when he bumped into a a bush of wild coils that was Azalea's hair. Matt had never seen an Afro that big and was intrigued by what looked to be tufts of flaming red cotton atop the most perfect face he'd ever seen. Her skin reminded him of melted milk chocolate,large hazel eyes ,a pert and very full lips. He had never been attracted to anyone resembling this girl before, he had dated a black girl before but her features were more European so he was surprised by his instant attraction and that was just her face. Azaleas body was every mans wet dream. She was so utterly feminine, her body called to him on a base level to implant his seed in her. The smooth chocolate skin carried throughout her body, her pink fitted camisole conformed to her full breast, He was guessing a c cup and hugged her small waist. The knee length peasant skirt should have detracted from her full hips and generous backside but the flowy material seemed to do the opposite, skimming and outlining her curves. This was no girl,she was definitely a woman soon to be his woman Matt thought confidently. He wasn't going to keep her just have a little fun and then on to the next one or so he had thought.
In a few short months he had ended up completely and irrevocably in love with her.He had long since accepted that she would forever be apart of him, she buried herself in his psyche, heart and soul and refused to leave . He had been in one serious relationship before but it was nothing like the last eight months with Azalea. She was as intelligent as she was beautiful and had a sweet effervescent personality that he couldn't get enough of. Matt was shocked at how expeditiously their relationship had progressed, they were exclusive immediately, living together after 2 months and now at month eight he was ready to take it to the next level. Matt had recently brung Z to meet his mother and his mom seemed like she liked her.Tthey were going to meet with her parents next month. Her father ran an import export company to the Caribbean,and travelled extensively because of it so they were beholden to his schedule. He was pretty nervous, fuck, who was he kidding he was petrified because he wanted to ask her old man for her hand. He had decided that she was it for him after 6 weeks, but he'd held off this long to convince her. That was what he liked about her she didn't run around half cocked but when she committed herself it was fully.
The ring he chose was small but what he could afford and he would upgrade it when they were better off financially , though he wasn't worried Azalea wasn't a a materialistic person which only made him want to work harder to provide for her. His change in behavior baffled some of his boys but none of them were with Z so they couldn't understand how the love of a good woman could make you want to be a better man.
Matt came home to their tiny apartment in New brunswick after laying tracks at the studio one day, and took an introspective view of his life in its current state. It was scary because he couldn't help wait for the other shoe to drop everything was going great almost too good to be true. His career had finally taken off, he received a pretty generous recording contract and was getting set to open for Maroon 5,it was a big deal and he had found his soul mate. He had bought Azaleas engagement ring and planned on proposing when they did Madison Square Garden. he hadn't discussed it with anyone yet but he figured that type of shit killed at a concert so they would let him do it. He walked in to the small duplex and was instantly greeted by the delicious smell of Azalea's cooking. Damn my baby girl can throw down in the kitchen. However, Matt noticed immediately that the table was set for one which was strange because she was a stickler for sharing their meals together especially dinner. He'd check on her later she was probably in the bedroom resting it was around the time for her "friend" to visit,her words not his.
Matt got up from the table, he ate quicker than normal unnerved by how quiet the house was. He missed eating with her finding out how her day was and what shenanigans went on in the inner city school where she was a student teacher. He knocked on the door so he wouldn't frighten her and damn near passed out. The bed was still made but her draws were pulled out and emptied,he moved to their shared closet her side was empty.
His head was spinning and he was actually feeling nauseas, beads of perspiration popped up on his forehead and brow. There had to be a reasonable explanation for this, we're he was impetuous Azalea was methodical and logical. She wouldn't just drag out clothes and skip town. He grabbed the phone on the mirrored bedside table and dialed her number 555-555-1234. What the fuck? He stared at the phone in his hand confused by the automated message that this phone was now discounted. This was not happening. The first and only time he fell in love she left him with without so much as a explanation. It was then he saw the familiar brocade envelope on the carefully made bed caught his attention.She would leave notes or long love letters,the care she took with writing them,spraying her signature scent on the envelope and letters were just another small throngs that made him love hisheart was beating fast as he picked up the letter, he smelled the envelope,he knew it would smell like the flower whose name she bore. Matt inhaled deeply and slid his finger under the flap, pulling out the light lavender paper he began to read.
My Dearest Matthew,
I know you must be very confused right now but I promise you this is for the best.
I am so proud of how hard you have worked and the success that I know is coming your way. I love you more than words can say, you will never know how you have changed me, and my life forever. This is the hardest decision that I have ever had to make but I am making it for you. I know that you think thing won't change but the changes have already begun,and I know with all you have to given to get to this point it is unfair for you to change for a woman you've only known a few months. That doesn't mean that this time together wasn't important, in fact it has proven to be the most meaningful and altering of my life. I hope that you receive everything you desire. If I can impart one thing, I hope that you know without a doubt that I love you and in the end I chose you.
Love,
Azalea
Matt didn't know how long he read and reread the note, he didn't notice his tears marring her perfect handwriting, he didn't feel his body convulse and fall to the ground clutching the letter like a lifeline. The only thing he took note of was Azalea was gone.
Azalea Richardson was beyond ecstatic, her second grade class was recognized in the local paper which thrilled the kids but more importantly her learn as you grow teaching method had gained some interest on a state level. This was a great accomplishment especially for some one so early in her career. Her coworkers had offered to take her out but she had to get to the daycare center the two towns over to pick up Chase so she as usual gave a rain check that after 4 years they knew would never get cashed. It's not that Azalea wasn't a people person she was but she just liked to keep her private life separate from her work. Everyone thought youth was her asset but Azalea struggled to be taken seriously by her peers and parents when she had first arrived. She was new and wanted to shake things up a little and that had brought unwanted admirers and detractors .
She zoomed by happy that at 3:45 there was very little traffic, she parked her 2010 gray Honda Accord and got out quickly. She only had a few more minutes or she would be charged for aftercare, being a single parent on a teachers salary Azalea made every effort for that not to happen. She walked into the large brick school yard and smiled as she walked into Chase's class. Her daughter was coloring yet another picture to be placed on the already overextended refrigerator in their house. Chase was so caught up in her art project she didn't notice her mothers arrival. Azalea took this time to admire Gods handiwork. Chase had a golden complexion, she would be
always sun kissed. Her aquamarine eyes were a jarring contrast to the brown of her skin. She had a small flat nose like her mother and deep dimples like her dad. There were times when it was painful to look at Chase because she looked so much like Matt. She even had his food preferences to Azaleas chagrin, she secretly joked she was a glorified incubator but secretly she was happy to have a living reminder of one of the best times of her life. Those 8 months seemed so far removed from her reality now so it was nice to know it was real for a little while she ad the type of love that people sang about,dreamed about and their was her proof sitting at a miniature table coloring her heart out.
After rangling Chase into her car seat which was no small feat they made their short drive home. The tree lined streets of Cranford welcomed Azalea and she never tired of her quaint little suburb. As Azalea pulled up to her small cape cod styled house Her daughter screeched "were home " as she bounced in the car seat. "Chase unbuckle yourself and let's go" she said opening the door.
Chase bound up the stairs as Azalea opened the door and went to put her book ah away and play in her room while Azalea got dinner going.
Azalea phone rang and she picked it up
"Hi Keisha, I'll pick you guys up in 45 minutes"
"Zalea you could at least ask who it is"
"Why, I know who it is your the only one who calls me"
" Lord, do you know how sad that sounds, you are 2 steps away from being the cat lady"
Azalea laughed at the thought of her little cape over run with cats,
" I won't be that bad I promise or at very least I'll only keep five at a time."
"Well I didn't call you to discuss your lack of a social life"
" Just hold on a sec Keisha aren't I picking you up in a few minutes to go to a concert. That sounds pretty social to me."
"Girl don't even get it twisted quit acting like we are going to see Usher, we are going to a benefit concert put on by kids. I did hear that they got some up and coming rapper to perform but that’s it. His single s fire and the remix with Matt's fine ass is blowing up “I’ll have to your word for it. " Azalea paused pensively then asked
"You don't think that Matt would be there right"
"Why, you gotta crush. I know you down with the swirl you daughter but barely high yellow" Keisha smarted
"No I don't have a crush. I'm 25 years old those days are over. “she snapped. The thought of Matt or anyone associated with him being that close to her and Chase made her uneasy. Her heart started to race and her panties were wet with flashes of her and Matt tangled together, him pounding into her, filling her. She shook her head to dislodge her thoughts.
"Nah he’s not going to be there, his last 2 albums went double platinum he's not about to sing in no park in Newark."
"Of course not I don't know what I was thinking" Azalea mumbled her nervousness quieting.
"alright see you in a few" Keisha said hanging up.
Azalea knew that the likelihood of Matt being there was slim but the fluttering in her belly didn't disappear completely.
"Chase, time to eat"
They both sat at the small dinner table and ate chicken parmesan. Azalea actually wasn't fond of it but Chase loved it with grape juice just like her father.
"Why are you performing at this little hole in the wall town anyway." Matt's manager had been harassing him every since he told him he wanted to perform at the Newark public schools benefit.
“Tell it to me straight, did you a fuck a minor or is someone threatening to put out a sex tape. Why the pr snow job"
"Sometimes even I forget what an asshole you are Jacob. I am doing a personal favor for an old friend. Can we leave it at that?"
"Sure whatever once we are out of here before the shots are fired I'm good “Jacob scoffed.
Matt shook his head in disgust but said nothing, because Jacob was an asshole and nothing Matt said was going to change that.
Matt wasn't telling anyone why he was really there. If his manager found out that rearranged his schedule canceling half day of shooting for his next music video to see a girl, much less a girl that dumped his ass they would lock him up. He had been on edge from the moment he saw her in the paper. He was obsessed, his girlfriend Lizbeth was starting to ask questions. He fucking hated that he talked in his sleep, no he hated that he still dreamt about her 4 years after she walked out on him. He wasn't sure if coming here and seeing her was to prove he was over her, or to rub her nose in his success. He just knew that he had to see her.
Azalea gave herself a quick once over, her hair had one braid in front and the rest was pulled into a big messy bun in. She had cinnamon highlights that complimented her complexion. She had a floral knee length dress with thin straps and lace back covering the back with brown wedge sandals. Chase had on a similar outfit but glittered sandals her light brown hair was in a single braid.
"we look pretty mommy" Chase said twirling in the mirror.
"That we do princess that we do” Azalea said smiling at her daughter.
Azalea picked up Keisha and her son Tyler. They were both single mothers and worked in the education system. Their friendship was easy and comfortable it also helped that their kids were almost the same age. Tyler was 6 to Chases 4 and he was ever the protector and confidant until she put the smack down on him. She chuckled at the thought.
As they reached their destination the kids both revealed that had to drain their bladders. No matter how many times Azalea tried to get Chase to go before they left the house this always happened. "Hold my seats I'm gonna take Chase to the potty". They went to the rest room hand in hand with Chase talking a mile a minute about Dora the explorer. Azalea chuckled because she knew more gossip about Dora and Boots than the Kardasian's. The finally made their way back to their seats and the concert began,Azalea couldn't shake the her apprehensiveness but was going to try her damnedest to enjoy the time with her family and friend.
The light lowered and the first group of dancers started, this group had gotten pretty far on Americas Next Dance Crew so they had a nice size following. The crowd was loud and appreciated of the dancers gravity defying dance moves. Then a girl not much older than Chase came out, she was doing a tribute to Whitney Houston, Azalea looked at the petite Hispanic girl and expected a childish version of I will always love you but then little miss opened her mouth and blew everyone away. She had a powerhouse voice and was cute as a button. A few more less impressive acts took the stage and then the Mayor Cory booker came out and said he had a two special guests. The stage went dim
"with now further ado Massive noise with his guest Matt Waters"! The decibel level went up ten notches and Chase grabbed Azaleas hand frightened by the crowds excitement. Azalea grabbed Chases hand more to steady herself than to comfort the child, she swayed and it was t to the haunting melody that began to play, she gasped and clutched the chair in front of her as the first lash of his voice hit her. The young rapper bounced and ran across the stage with a few hype men but Azaleas eyes never wavered from the handsome, white guy with his eyes closed playing the guitar. She didn't need him to open his eyes she saw them every day when she looked at Chase. His long fingers strummed the guitar like a lover and Azalea was momentarily stricken with jealousy for the instrument that he touched so masterfully. Every chord he struck tugged at her heart and echoed in her womanhood. Azalea watched as he bent over to the mike to sing the hook, he still sounded incredible. All too soon the song ended. The roar of the crowd was deafening but Azalea knew she had to get out of there before she did something dangerous like inform him that he has a daughter. However the lure to give in to her need to watch him was intense and her resolve was weakening by the second. However, in her shocked state she had forgotten that she had given Keisha a ride and Keisha wasn't going anywhere. Keisha stopped to mingle with staff and some county officials that's she knew, as the school secretary she knew quite a few people. Chase was holding her hand as she was instructed and wanted to meet the kids from Americas Best Dance Crew but Azalea quickly shot down that idea because she knew she had to get the hell out of there. She reached Keisha who was in the middle of flirting with the married vice principal of the high school when she rudely interrupted them.
"Excuse me, may I borrow her for a moment. I saw you wife Phyllis looking for you down by the refreshment stand." she said barely hiding the disdain in her voice.
"Keisha what are you doing flirting with that man he is married and that old battle ax is bat shit crazy over that trifling husband so tread lightly. Plus we have to go"
"Why are we leaving so early, I promised the kids we'd let them see the dancers."
"I’ll make it up to them, I'll take them to chuck e cheese tomorrow, unlimited tokens on me" she said quickly while her eyes darted towards the stage.
"Who are you looking for over there" Keisha' asked
"No one’s I just want to leave “Azalea answered exasperatedly
A small voice interrupted their conversation “Mommy I have to go to the bathroom" Chase said.
"So do I” Tyler piped in
"Fine I'll take them both and we will meet back at the car. This should give you time to say goodbye to your legion." grabbing both kids by the hand they made their way to the restroom...again.
"Ok both of you come on in and well go one at a time" Azalea said
Tyler looked up at the universal sign for women on the door "I'm not going in there that's for girls and I’m a big boy now so I can go on my own" he said seriously
Azalea let out an exasperated sigh “Tyler please don't be difficult right now we really need to leave"
"Mommy I really have to go" Chase whined
"Ok Tyler I'm going to pop my head in and you can go you are to wait right here for me even if you come out first."
"I promise Aunty Lea"
Azalea opened the door to the men's room and called in to see if it was free and ushered Tyler in the rushed her shimmying daughter into the girls room. Azalea hurriedly took care of her daughter and when she went to wash their hand Chase started to sing the alphabet. When Azalea went to turn off the pipe her daughter pushed her hand away.
"The school nurse says your hands aren't clean till you get to z, mommy what letter was I on...forget it will start over."
"woosaa,woosaa" Azalea took several cleansing breaths and pinched her nose staring at the chipped ceiling, what could she say the kid was right
When they finally exited the restroom a handsome Hispanic man was talking to Tyler which Azalea was not too happy about.
"Tyler who is your friend" Azalea asked her eyes pinning the Hispanic man in place.
"That’s not my friend Aunt Z, I was just telling him there was someone in the restroom"
"Good because you know not to talk to strangers" Azalea said curtly.
"Woosa mommy" Chase said
"hahaha" laughter erupted from the stranger and he looked at Chase intently.
"Hi mister" Chase greeted the stranger and flashed her big dimpled smile. "I know a guy who always says that when he's pissed, ehehm mean upset" Jacob said quickly trying to clean up his error whilst sending an apologetic smile to her annoyed mother
"Well my mom says that when she is mad"
The Latin hottie face changed from jovial to quizzical to within seconds. Azalea in her haste didn't take the time to investigate what about their short meaningless exchange would cause such a transformation.
Javier wasn't sure of what to make of the little girl that looked a hell of a lot like Matt. I the 4 years that he had managed Matt's career he had never mentioned a child and he didn't seem the type to shirk his responsibilities. Matt wondered if the little girl was his reason for wanting to participate in this event as well as the extremely large anonymous donation he gave. Javier thoughts were flying, first he had to find out why he had just found out about this, "He better be paying child support a dead beat is not the image they were trying to promote.” I wonder if I could get him in the next issue of Essence or 106 and park, Matt we just opened up a whole new demographic." he pondered aloud as thoughts of dollar signs ran through his head. Javier decided not to mention anything to Matt until he did some checking, since it could be just a coincidence.
Matt sat across from one of the hottest women on the planet says "Maxim Magazine " two years in a row desperately plotting his escape. He truly cared for Lizbeth but lately it was getting harder to feign happiness. She was sweet and pretty and God love her, she gave a great blow job but she wasn’t Z. Ever since he had performed at the benefit he had been inundated with thoughts of her and what their future should have been. He had hired a private investigator to find out about her and her whereabouts. He had a meeting with said private investigator after he begged off of this miserable lunch with Lizbeth.
"Matt what's going on? You seem so withdrawn lately. Are you worried about the album because I'm sure it'll be fine?" she said smiling that million dollar smile. It was times like this that I hated Azalea. This woman on paper was perfect and understanding and financially independent and I couldn't will my heart to flutter for her for a million dollars.
"Lizbeth your right" Matt said pushing away from the table and running his hand through his hair.
"well" she said expectantly
" I have been really preoccupied lately, just caught up in my own head and I haven't been devoting enough energy or attention to us"
Her eyes narrowed and mouth pursed, through clenched jaws she asked “have you been devoting that time and attention to someone else"
Matt truly didn't know how to answer her. He knew because of his profession she had reason to feel insecure with his fidelity. He had cheated in the beginning of their relationship but stopped once he developed feeling for her so technically here was no one he had been intimate with but a part of him felt guilty over the investigation in Azalea because he knew once he found her he would go to her. But that hadn't happened yet so there was nothing to feel guilty about he reiterated to himself. Reaching across the table he held her hand and stroked her fingertips. " I know I've fucked up in the past but that was a long time ago and I haven't gone down that road again. I won't do that to you not after how lose we have gotten but I just feel a little out of it."
"You know what why don't you go on home and I'll call Cheryl to go shopping or catch a movie."
"Thanks babe I'll call you later." she said standing up reaching for her Berkin bag.”
Matt watched her leave with growing excitement knowing he was close to finding Azalea.